Two In The Think Tank - TWO IN THE SHORTS: 02 "POO IN THE SHORTS"

Episode Date: November 6, 2013

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Tuh. Tuh. Tuh. Tuh. Tuh. Yeah, welcome to two in the shorts. Two in the think tank shorts. Shorts, shirts, poo in the think tank. Poo in the shorts. Oh yeah, that's right. Shoe in the ports.

Look, I got super motivated and I was ready. Al's so motivated. Look, two in the think tank shorts, that's when we come up with two ideas in about 20 minutes. In about 20 minutes. We're going to bust these out. We're just going to be so enthusiastic. It's all about enthusiasm right now for me. I'm like a soccer player who just runs out.

And I imagine he just runs out like he's ready. Like he's been on the bench for hours. And then he runs out. And then he's waving to the crowd because he's excited. His mom's in the audience. And then he trips over. The audience. It's a soccer audience. I like the idea of a soccer player who keeps referring to the crowd in the audience, and then he trips over. The audience. It's a soccer audience.

I like the idea of a soccer player who keeps referring to the crowd as the audience, and they're like, I don't know if you've got the right idea about this. It's a performance. Well, yes, but also our objectives aren't so much to take the crowd on an emotional journey. No, it's the theatre of sport. Come on. I'm a thespian, and play and I also enjoy the sports. My fellow players, join me upon the stage.

Ah, a ball! What? What is this I see before me? Ah, and he picks it up. Ah! Like a foe, that is. A brigand! Brigand! Wouldst thou stop me here, dead in my tracks?

Yeah, and then he has a fist fight with him. I know no good sketches have a fist fight in it. A duel. The thespian footballer. Yeah. Write it down as the first idea. Done. It doesn't get much shorter than two in the think tank shorts.

Short shorts, running shorts. Okay, we've got the... These are the Kylie Minogue hot pants of two in the think tank episodes. Yeah, absolutely. You guys can see the bottom of our cheeks. Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of bottom of our cheeks. Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of under-butt.

Under-butt. Under-butt. We've got our under-butt exposed and you guys are drooling at the mouth and other drooling capable organ holes. Drooling capable organ holes.

Yeah. Name one. The butthole. Thank you. I was hoping you'd say that. I one. A, the butthole. Thank you. I was hoping you'd say that. I mean, and possibly the ear? And the eye can sort of drool. Eye drool.

Yeah. Tears are just the drool of the eye. You just use it, Dan, to break down your sadness. I'm not crying. My eyes are just hungry. Okay? I just got eye hugged.

It's just a Pavlovian response to someone ringing a bell because i was touched by a bell when i was younger i was abused by a campanologist it's a remake of of of saved by the bell but it's like instead of like a sort of a light-hearted comedy it's a it's a sort of teenage drama touched by the bell. And then it brings on sadness in everyone. And then it becomes boring like a British television program. It would be the British remake. Because you know the British don't really remake American TV shows

like the way the Americans do. Touched by the bell. At the end of school the bell rings. All the kids get to go home. Except for one guy who has to stay late. Because the bell has asked him to step into the bell tower. He goes into the bell tower and the bell's got that big dangly old donger thing.

Puts his bell end on him. Touched by For the belly. This one... That one's too silly, Andy. We can't have that one. Yeah. But British remakes of American programs,

I mean... And where they just make them sort of, you know, more overcast and boring. So they take... Let's say... Let's say they made a remake of The American Office.

What about Everybody Loves Raymond? They're all just living in one of those tenement houses on a long hill. And it's just... Everyone feels indifferent about Nigel. Everyone's indifferent to Nigel. See, I think that's almost brilliant. Yeah, no, write it down. Thanks everyone, you've been listening to

Two in the Think Tank shorts. I think maybe we should just stop there. Yeah? Yeah, just for fun. Okay. British remake of American sitcoms? Everybody is indifferent to Nigel.

I think they might have actually tried to do a British. They did. They tried to do a British remake of Everybody Loves Raymond with Lee Mack, I think, as Raymond. It's fine. He's good. Like, I like Lee Mack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But...

It doesn't matter. That's still really funny. And we're taking the piss out of the English. The English and the Americans somehow. I don't know. Look, guys, you guys have been listening to Two and Think Tank Shorts. From now on, we're going to be bringing a lot more enthusiasm. And, you know, you guys are going to.

And a lot lower standards. Oh, man. The bar for entry is so low. Okay, so we'll just go through the sketches that you've heard today. Just in case you've forgotten. Two of the think tank shorts, poo in the shorts, poo in the think tank. Here we go. The bar is set pretty low.

The bar is in the poo. Number one, we've got the thespian footballer. He comes out. He calls the crowd an audience, and then he doesn't really play, and then he gets in an argument with... It's all more about the drama. He gets in with the brigand, who is the referee,

and then he gets sent off in a very dramatic sense, and it's fun. And two, it's the British remake of American sitcoms. They're usually more overcast and boring. He refers to the umpire as a critic. Rules are there to be broken! The reviews are in! That's great.

And then everybody's indifferent towards Nigel. So thanks for listening, guys. This has been Two in the Shorts. Two in the Think Tank Shorts. I'm Alistair George William Trombley-Burchell I'm Andy Matthews See you You can get anything you need with Uber Eats Well, almost, almost anything So no, you can't get an ice r need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything.

So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.