U Talkin’ U2 To Me? - R U Talkin' R.E.M. RE: ME? - It’s The End Of The World And We Know It (And It Feels Good) (F**kin' Stoked!)

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

Scott and Scott return for a special quarantine edition of R U Talkin' R.E.M. RE: ME? They discuss their experiences in the lockdown, talk about Adam's cool biology teacher, debut an episode of “Another Good One,” and review the viral video of the Dean of Tisch dancing to “Losing My Religion.” The Scotts also listen to Bono’s new song “#SING4LIFE" during an episode of U Talkin’ U2 To Me? and pay tribute to the recent passing of R.E.M. drummer Bill Rieflin.

from chronic to collapse Chronic to Collapse Town and into now that is This is Are You Talking R.E.M. ReMe The comprehensive and encyclopedic compendium of all things R.E.M. This is good rock and roll Music? Music? Hey, welcome to the show. Welcome back to the show, I should say.

Are you talking R.E.M. Remy? My name is Scott Aukerman. I'm one of the hosts of Are You Talking R.E.M. Remy? One of the main hosts, I would say. Certainly. When you think of the Are You Talking R. say, certainly one of the, I, when you think of the, are you talking REM, Remy family, I'm definitely,

uh, one of the, a member, a member. Okay. A member. Um, welcome to the show.

You know what? If you think about it, Scott, I'm sorry to interrupt so early in the program. Yeah. This is really early. I know. It's like, as far as this program goes,

it's like 4 a.m. But when I think about what now? That's the technical... Well, if you really think about it, like really, really, really think about it. Okay, I have not been doing that. So let me try to really, really think about it. Okay. I have not been doing that. So let me try to really, really think about it. Exactly.

So if you really just sit back, pull up an Ottoman, just slip your shoes off and think, and just maybe clasp your hands behind your head, relax. Am I sitting, am I sitting on theoman or i'm sitting on a different chair and no shut the fuck up you're sitting sorry in a a relaxing chair sort of like dad's easy chair his recliner yeah It's maybe a little frayed around the edges, but we love it for that fact.

Little frayed around the edges. And watch out. Seven o'clock when the news starts, stay away from that chair. That's dad's chair. Yeah. He's going to get home. We're going to give him the big piece of chicken.

And then he's going to unbuckle those belts. Big old. Take those pants all the way unbuckle those belts. Big old. Take those pants all the way down to the ankles. Whip out his dick. And just start stroking it right in front of all of us. Start stroking it. Eating chicken with no napkin or plate. Just getting chicken grease all over his ball sack.

Well, welcome to the show. And watching Dan Rather. I was going to say we have a big program here. This is our quarantine special. Obviously, it's the end of the world, and we know it. And Adam and I, you've been, we're going to go through a lot happening in the REM camp, surprisingly. We're going to go through what's been going on a little later.

But Adam, you've been sequestered? Yeah, we, you know, sticking by the homestead, as they say. Who says that? What a wonderful cough you have. It sounded nice, right? Yeah, very relaxing. You're not sick, right? Because I just saw you coughing,

but it may be because you waited until the recording started to start eating. That's right. waited until the recording started to start eating. That's right. And now you're clearing all of the residue of your, whatever it is you were eating out of your throat. That's right. There was, I was so frantically trying to get this microphone and my computer ended up only having one USB port.

Really? What do you have in there? You either... Yeah, what do you have in there right now? You can't power your computer and plug in... You can't power it and plug something into it at the same time. Wait, so it doesn't have like a power cord thing? Not a separate one.

It's all one it's just a headphone jack and the usb okay new usb port uh anyway so i'm using naomi's computer and how does she feel about that um she doesn't know you're hiding this from her? This is going to be hard in quarantine. I mean, she's going to find out eventually. I'm not only hiding this from her, but shall we say I have a few secrets, okay? I was going to say this is like the worst time for anyone who's trying to hide not only an affair but or or just trying to hide anything from a loved one that you're sharing a space from or sharing a space with you know if you have if you if you have a secret bubbling under the surface like it's all gonna come out

you know we are in close quarters here in america and one of my secrets is that I have seven to 12 fully grown tigers that I keep in the backyard. What? You keep them in the backyard of the house that you share with Naomi? You know, as soon as I started making a little scratch, I started investing in giant, deadly cats. When you say giant, do you mean more giant than the regular size or just giant as opposed to humans or regular cats? Scott, these cats are 12 to 15 inches long. These are giant, ferocious animals. Wait, you're saying they're a foot long?

Just 12 inches, that's it? I mean, that's like, I don't know cats all that well. I've been around approximately, probably 400,000 of them. But from what I- Well don't you don't know from what i could tell most cats most common house cats tabby cats right are maybe a foot in length or are you talking width yeah i'm talking width and length these these cats these are square cats they have they have the exact same measurements both both width wise and length wise and these are and depth these are these are like cubes that's right are you cube cats are you sure they're cats and they're not just like

like furniture boxes yeah boxes like did you move recently I did okay do any of them have like anything written in marker on the side of them like living room or bookshelf. Any of these cats? Well, each cat is completely different. Each cat is completely different.

One, I came up with cool names for each one of them. One is called Bedroom. And there's the cutest one, the cutest one, which also happens to be the biggest one. His name is Store-In-Attic. Store-In-Attic, that's a beautiful name for a cat, isn't it? So tell me, Scott, how about you as far as the big Q goes, the quarantine? Yeah, well... What's going on in scott's world you know the big q for me usually it means q anon i'm a big big q supporter 100 just waiting for those q drops there's just droplets of q droplets of wisdom oh thank you daddy q um now that the the the virus hoax has taken over sure yeah the q has

slowed down a little bit i um i've been basically i've been here at home and i you know i haven't been doing much i uh you know wrote only three screenplays and um oh that's all yeah i wrote oh you know i wrote king lear five times five times yeah i i basically just transcribed it because i mean if there are any hearing impaired people out there listening to this show right now um who are tired of watching king lear videotapes of king lear and're like, what are they saying? I have five transcriptions for our five hearing impaired listeners who write to us. I'm able to send those out. Now, is there any difference between each of the five,

or are they exactly the same? There are tiny, tiny differences. Like, I put the word fart into the dialogue in different places in each five. So it'll just kind of make you laugh. You'll be like, you know. Fart. Yeah. Like that.

A lot like that. Yeah, that was a good laugh. Is that your normal laugh? Yeah. Say something funny. Okay. What's black and white and red all over? Newspaper.

See, that's, I mean, you just happened to grab one of my favorite jokes out of your joke grab bag. And so that really struck my funny bone. Yeah, yeah. That's one that lasts the test of time. After you hear it the first time, you can still laugh at that exactly as hard every single time you hear that joke i have another good one that um

wait is this another episode of another good one i believe it is hey everyone welcome to another good one this is scott and this is scott and we're talking about good ones today, obviously. We always talk about good ones. And Adam, you were saying before we started, you have another good one? I do have another good one, and this is a real good one. It's an oldie but goodie, as they say. Do you know what that saying, what that means? No, you're going to have to explain it to me. Well, it means like like the joke i'm about to tell it's been around a while right like it's been around a while

exactly uh so it's it's it's an older joke but it's really good and it stands the test of time your dad told you this joke uh no no but i you but he could have because it's been around. I think I heard it when I was 12 years old. And I still, I pop this one out every once in a while. So you were basically like just about to start experiencing what we in the biz call puberty. And you- Which biz is that the business of going out there and tracking

you know developmental child developmental psychology i guess is what you would call it right the business we're in the business of child developmental psychology we call it puberty and you were just about to start experiencing... Yeah. You were about to start experiencing that and you... I remember my... It was actually my biology teacher that told this joke. And I...

Remind me to go... I have another story about this biology teacher who's the coolest guy, but he started teaching us about masturbation and- What? Is that what made him cool? No, no, no. No, no, he didn't.

No, sorry. What? He was not teaching about masturbation. He was just talking about it. No, he didn't. No, sorry. What? He was not teaching about masturbation. He was just talking about it. No, no, he was not. Okay. He was talking about, okay, remind me to tell that wonderful story. What I was going to say is, this is still an episode of Another Good One.

Or Good Ones Or Good Ones. Good Ones. Yeah. I think the name of this show is Another Good One. Well, you said you had Another Good Ones, but I believe the title of the show is Good Ones. We could start a separate sideshow called Another Good One. Okay. We need to do that.

Okay, here we go. Hey, everyone. We need to do that. Okay, here we go. You think we're happy now? Hey, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Another Good One. This is Scott. And this is Scott. And Adam, before the show, you said you had another good one? Oh, Kevin just said it's called Another Good One.

It is? That's right. So this is the second show called Another Good One. Well, this is a separate show. I mean, you know how shows can have the same title sometimes. But they have the same name. So what? Yeah. So what?

Who cares? Who cares? So here's the joke. An oldie but goodie, meaning it's been around a while, but it has high quality. There's a standard that it meets, and it's been around a while but it's it has high quality uh there's a standard that it meets uh and it's been around a while so that's basically what oldie but goodie gotta mean scott i'll write it i'll email you uh i'm a lot like ahab i'm on board okay are you ready i'm right i well hold on yeah yeah yeah yeah okay okay here it is uh and again

this is an oldie but goodie and and it's been around a while it's been around a while it's very good but also it ties into your biology teacher who i'm just waiting for the stand so I can hear the back half of this story about him. But go ahead. Okay, so this, I picked it out of my joke grab bag. We each have one. We each have one right to the left of us as we record. Yep, and we tie it onto our... Tie it onto what now? I i know the answer i just want to make sure the listeners

we we tie it onto our suspenders sure of course of course we do we each have more for more suspenders rainbow suspenders on i i mean i call i call them the Godspell suspenders because I'm wearing a Superman t-shirt. Right. You call them Godspell suspenders. I call them orcs. And we put them on before every show and we have a joke grab bag tied to the left suspender. Yeah.

Always the left. Always the left. If it's on the right, the right isn't funny. Left is funny. Right, not funny. If it's not left, you are bereft. If it's on the right, that isn't right. Exactly.

That's how you remember it. And we repeat that 20 times face-to-face, noses touching before each show. And we don't even care. I think that's how each of us got sick and why we're under quarantine right now because we were just spitting into each other's mouths. Okay, so here it is.

Again, oldie but goodie. I picked it for you. This is another good one. Obviously. And it's been around a while. It's been around for a while it's been around for a while and the quality is very high okay go ahead please oh my god okay um what did one fly say to the other what did one fly so there's one fly yeah and then there's one fly. Yeah. And then there's another fly. Two flies, essentially.

There's another fly. They come across each other. I don't know if they're in the air flying or if they're... Well, actually, when you hear the punchline, which again, is very high quality. It's been around a while. And it's an oldie but a goodie. But it is another good one. And it's an oldie but a goodie, but it is another good one.

When you hear the punchline, I think it'll help explain the setting at least a little bit. Right. You know, flies are interesting because they are named after the verb that they do most often. And that's fascinating. It doesn't really figure into this joke a bit other than when I say, what one fly say the other you know what i'm talking about you know i'm talking about the insect i'm not talking about the uh the verb the verb yeah but it's like calling someone a jerk off that's the that the verb they do most often so that's why you call them that jerk offs are the flies of human beings that's, because they're constantly jerking off, but also they're able to achieve flight when they jerk off.

Exactly. All right, I am ready for this punchline, my man. That's why they're jerking off so much, because you can only fly as you're jerking off. A lot of people don't know that. Have you ever had a dream? Do you have dreams where you're flying? Yeah, I've had them.

You sound very dismissive of them. Oh, yeah, I've had those. It's been a while. It's been a while. Been a while. Been a while. So my memories of the flying dreams are foggy, but my memories of this joke are not.

So here we go. Here we go. What did one fly say to the other? I'm stumped. I could not even hazard a guess. You know what? Also, the punchline to this, when I say it, it's going to be funny, but also you'll see why it was my biology teacher that told it. It'll explain itself. This masturbating conversationalist of a biology teacher. Both the setting of where the flies are having this conversation will become at least a bit more clear, but also you'll be able to ascertain why it was a biology teacher. In what context he was using it. Exactly.

The context of both the flies that are being portrayed in the joke and where I heard the joke in 1986. All will be revealed. Or thereabouts. All right. And again, this is a very high quality punchline. It's been around for quite a while.

It's been around for quite a while. And this is, when we talk about another good one, this is exactly what we're talking about. Right. I would, I have not heard. Another one that's good. Yes, I've not heard the punchline yet, but I'm assuming if Adam, if you brought it to the table,

it's gotta be good. And this is what we mean when we talk about another good one is exactly things like this. Our joke grab bags. I don't want to speak for you, Scott, but I think I can, because I know we have similar issues with our back. These joke grab bags get heavy. So you don't want to put a joke in there that's not of high quality. You don't want extra weight because these things, we record the show and it's a vigorous workout because we're carrying this joke grab bag on our suspenders.

And we're doing basically spin classes while we record this show as well. We're on exercise bikes. And we're wearing stilts yeah i mean all three of these things when you combine them it's like the triathlon of podcasting being on stilts being on an exercise bike on stilts while having these joke grab bags tied to our left suspender it's crazy but it's also it explains why we're both uh in great shape yeah super fucking ripped okay so here we go here we go uh uh been around for a while punchline what did one fly say to the other he said or she doesn't matter doesn't matter they said

just a little yeah okay what did one fly say to the other i don't i actually don't know excuse me is this stool taken huh excuse me excuse me is this stool excuse me excuse me is this stool is this tool take excuse me is this tool stake excuse me is excuse me, is this tool, is this tool taken? Excuse me, is this tool taken? Excuse me, is this tool taken? Is this tool taken? No. Is it, is it?

I think you're turning it into a language. I'm just trying to figure out exactly if I, maybe if I mix up the consonants and the vowels, maybe it'll make more sense to me. Oh, do you not understand i don't know i i don't understand it oh okay well again it was in a biology class because of the fly's biology yeah that's right oh well that is what we're talking about when we talk about another good one this has been scott and this is scott and we'll see you next time thanks bye bye great app that was a great app i i'm a big fan of that show. And now that we're in the other podcast also called Another Good One, I just want to tip my hat to our sister show.

Our sister show, Another Good One. And it's terrific. We love them. We have no problem with them being named. No, no, no, no. The exact same name as our show. No, it's fine. There's no confusion in the marketplace as far as I'm concerned. No. It's a busy marketplace.

There's enough for everyone. There's enough for everyone. All right. We'll see you on the next episode of another good one. Bye. Bye. That was all right. A little thin.

It was okay, yeah. But I think the ep, the other, another good one. The other show, yeah. That was substantive. Classic, classic podcasting right there. Really good, solid, older joke. Mm-hmm. Now, I feel like we need to get back to this other story.

Oh, yeah, yeah. About your biology teacher. You sort of hyped it in that episode of the other show. I would love to hear about it. That's right. I would love to hear about it. That's right. So I just have to remember correctly because so he was, it was human biology.

So he was teaching and this was junior high school or middle school. So we were 12, 13 years old and it was, he was, we were going into sex ed and he was talking about. Was he in charge of the sex ed or was he just like, Hey, to get you ready for this sex ed that another teacher is teaching. No, he was going to tell you a little bit that I've learned. He was teaching us the very basics of just, you know, genitalia or whatever. And he was talking about, um, uh, I'm talking lower because I'm in the living room of my house. He was talking about like the ejaculating.

Are you talking lower because your children have never heard any of this information? You haven't had that talk with them yet? No, they don't even know that we're in Los Angeles. What? So I have to be very, very careful about the stuff I say. You don't want to reveal where you are right now. No, no, no, no, no, no. We can't know where we are.

That's one of my main rules as a parent. We can't know where we are. Do you put like cloth bags over their head when you take them to school so they have no idea how to fixate their location? No, I just have all the windows blacked out except for, and I have special glasses where I can- See through the black? That's right. Right.

So, and then I have- They make special glasses? Are those like the x-ray goggles that you used to see advertised in comic books? That's exactly what they are. They're x-ray goggles which totally work and i have all of the windows painted with black paint so you can't see except if you have x-ray glasses on that's it so if you ever if you're ever driving around los angeles and you see a van with blacked out windows and what's the color of the van uh the color of the van? The color of the van. Oh, did I bring my kids to school then?

Sure. Yeah. It's fluorescent orange. Okay. So if you ever see a car or a van rather that looks akin to a jack-o'-lantern. Yeah. It has a big kind of jack-o'-lantern face on the front of it. Oh, it does.

Oh, okay. Great. And like a pumpkin top. What do you call the top of a pumpkin? That thinglantern face on the front of it. Oh, it does. Oh, okay. Great. And like a pumpkin top. What do you call the top of a pumpkin? That thing that sticks out on the top? A pumpkin top. Pumpkin top. So if you, and do you have one of those on top that's sort of like the antenna?

That's right. And it is an antenna because I need to know exactly what's going on. Again, QAnon, I have all of my people out there that are sending me all the information I need to know to just to get around that day. Definitely. Definitely. So now what did this biology teacher say? Right. So he he was just talking about like ejaculating and teaching us about like sperm and stuff and what it tastes like. No,

he was just very kind of dry. Just kind of just telling us about, this has got to be the worst. This has got to be the worst thing that a teacher is instructed to do. Like I'm sure it was not, you know, it's not his idea. You know what I mean?

It's not like something he wants to do. I'm sure it's something that like, Hey, you know, it's not his idea. You know what I mean? It's not like something he wants to do. I'm sure it's something that like, Hey, you know what? We got to start teaching this. And you've been elected since you're the biology teacher. That's right. And it's, and he was the coolest teacher. He's, uh he's talking about all this and i and at the time i guess i was like 13 i had just recently discovered uh masturbating right so i was like you discovered yourself doing it or someone else uh luckily it was myself but it was like and i was you know right when you kind of figured that out and you're just like oh man hey this has opened up an entirely new window of an entirely new reality for me. Yeah. I will never again be bored.

Right. There's always something to do, even in these quarantine times. Exactly. So I remember in the middle of all this teaching, I thought to myself, because I didn't know anything about what I was doing and if I was doing something wrong or what was going on so I remember in class I raised my hand and I asked him I said so if a person get this straight if a person is because he was talking about intercourse. And I said, if like a grownup was having intercourse, like, I don't know, seven to 10 times a day and ended up ejaculating seven to 10 times a day, is that like bad? Is there anything wrong with that it could could that person could that harm the person just like a grown-up if they were doing that you and i remember guts to do this in front of your entire class yes because i thought that's your stupidity you're couching it enough with like

you're you're changing enough details the fact that it was a grownup and it was during actual intercourse. They'll never suspect this. Never. And everyone, cause we were like at tables, like group tables, like in a science class and everyone at my table just like turned and looked at me like, what?

And, uh, it was like, that's one of those things where i tell you think about it i tell the story now and i still get like i feel the sweat on the back of my neck um i gotta ask well what what was the answer he said yeah you could your dick will fall off oh shit yeah so you haven't done it since no no no no oh god no that's really bad for you yeah okay oh boy no i think i think he knew exactly what was going on it was as cool as can be about it anyway oh what a nice guy i uh that that is i mean i've i've gone to i've gone to high schools and junior highs and talk to kids just about like,

you know, show business whenever I've like, whenever you have a friend or an alma mater or whatever reaches out to you like, Hey, can you come talk to the kids? And it's always a mixed bag of like how they're going to react. Cause you,

cause some, there have been some times when I've talked to people and they've been like very wrapped in attention and they've asked me really interesting questions and then there are the times where the kids are just sarcastic dicks like i was when i when i the difference being when i was that age and being a sarcastic dick i was actually hilarious and these kids are not so yeah i mean that's just got to be a terrible terrible uh he has to have a knot in his stomach going to work that day like oh i gotta do the sex thing with these dumb kids who are gonna make fun of me finish saying what what you were saying about like the mixed bag of talking to yeah i

mean just you know you never know if you're gonna get like kids who are just like making fun of every single thing you say of course and and everyone laughing at you you know and i remember like that we would have speakers come to our schools a lot i remember edward edward albie came to our high school and really worked with like 20 of us and i got picked and i got picked because i was like creative and wrote stuff you know wow but i also was like just doing comedy you know by the time i was a senior i was like deep into letterman and doing like i had my own public access show and we were just doing comedy stuff and that's all i was interested in so all i did with edward albie was like do sarcastic questions and stuff and he got so frustrated he got so frustrated with me i feel terrible about now but i was also god this is also really funny pulitzer prize winning yes genius like what an opportunity for as someone who then started writing plays and

right and then screenplays like i could have asked him any question about story structure or anything but then again when you're in high school what do you know about story structure exactly that's that's the youth is wasted on the young is is uh again did you did you come up with that i did i just i just coined that just now but i is that another good one? That's another good one. We got to go back in. Well, yeah.

The sister show to another good one. So if you're listening to us for the first time and you instead meant to listen to another good one, stay for a while. Maybe you'll like this show. Also hosted by us. Also hosted by us, exactly. All due respect to the other show. They're doing a great job over there.

They're doing a great job. So now, Adam, before the... You know why we started this episode of Another Good One because right before the show, you said something that just was so good. I just thought to myself, God, is this Another Good One? What exactly was it? Well, it's fun because, you know, Another Good One can be referring to a joke like before, like the joke about the two flies that we discussed earlier that was super funny.

That was this show, definitely. That was not our sister show. Even I was confused as to which show we were, but we are the show that talked about the fly joke. Yes. That was this show. Yeah. Yeah.

Clearly. Clearly. So, but right now- By the way, thanks for all your your emails and tweets and everything about our last episode about the fly joke yeah uh it was you thanks for really enjoying that episode i mean we tried we worked really hard on that episode so we're really glad you enjoyed it yeah thanks everybody uh and for those of you who were like tweeting us about our sister show and that episode being really thin and not very substantive, we're not them.

Send those tweets and emails to them. Yeah. You know, like we have no control over the quality of their show. And the Twitter account for that show and this show is the same account. It's the same account yeah don't send that stuff to us we don't want it we don't want to see it and we don't want to share the same we share the same email and we share the same computer and the same meat bodies uh because we're the same people sure but we don't want to we don't want to read that but we we don't want

any part of that shit okay yeah all due respect to them um yeah so the fun thing about it like i was saying um was another good one can refer to a joke or just a saying or just a turn of phrase it can be anything really yeah what i said earlier in our convo on the other show, we were talking about kids, you know, younger kids and how stupid they are. And so, I just kind of threw out there like, youth is wasted on the young. Yeah. And I thought, you know, it's- There is another good one. Yeah, it's really funny. It's really good. I really enjoyed that. Yeah.

You're welcome. You're welcome. All right. Well, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Bye. You think we're happy now?

That was, that's not as good as the, you know, I listened to the previous ep about the fly joke, and that was really funny. It had like a great joke in the middle of it. It was a really strong ep. And then I got to say I was let down. I think I'll send a strongly worded tweet and email to those hosts about how they've gone downhill and that it's not fair to me, the listener, the customer. If you wouldn't mind, just because I don't want to sit down and write an email, but if you could just tell them- Wait, what part of that do you not want to do? The sitting down part or the writing the email? I don't want to write an email because

if I do, I can't do it standing up because my arms don't work when my legs are extended. So when your legs are moving, your arms stop moving and vice versa? No, they move, but they have to be preparing a meal. Oh, okay. If it's going to be sending an email, I have to sit down.

But if you could just include me in that, in the spirit of the email. Sure. Do you want me to sign it? Or do you just want to be included in the spirit of it? Just include it in the spirit of it. And word it strongly. How strongly do you want this worded?

Do you want it mild? Do you want it medium? Or do you want it spicy a caliente? Yeah. Put a little kick in it, if you know what I mean. I know exactly what you mean. Give it a little kick in it if you know what i mean i know exactly what you mean give it a little bam a little yeah a little emerald legacy yeah just like bam i might sign it emerald as well so they think it's from them include him on this because yeah i'll cc emerald yeah yeah yeah maybe i'll bcc him yeah bcc him and then let's let's what do you

think emerald was up to during the quarantine he's probably just in a room going bam over and over do you think he went shopping like does he have enough to like his is his kitchen stock that would be the ultimate irony if like he was going to go to the market but next day and he's just sitting there alone with no food i think he has a stocked pantry yeah you think he has like a pantry filled with non-perishables yeah probably he's probably okay we don't need to worry about emil, right? Yeah, who gives a fuck about that guy? All right, look, we need to take a break. No, I do.

You do? No, he's great. He's a great guy, right? Nothing has come out about him, right? He is the very best. Okay, he's good. We like Emeril, right? Oh, God, yes.

No. Yeah, sure. Emeril, if you're listening, we love you. Love you, bro. It's more than like. It's we love Emeril. No. Yeah. Sure. Emeril, if you're listening, we love you. It's more than like. It's we love Emeril. No, love. Love. More than that.

Love him. I would say I'm in love with him. Deeply. I am deeply in love with him. With Emeril Lagasse. Love. Love. Love you, Emeril.

Passion. Like passionately. Love you, Emeril. Passion. Like passionately, like I want to fuck Emeril Lagasse. 100%. Okay. We do need to take a break, Adam. Is that okay? Yeah, sure. I mean, literally I have nothing else to do.

That's why we're doing this episode let's take a break when we come back um we've obviously been talking about rem this episode we're going to continue with that non-stop we're going to continue we will be right back with more are you talking rem remE.M. Remy? We'll be right back. We'll be right back. As the moon goes down, these heavy notions creep around. It makes me think long ago. Welcome back. Are you talking REM? Remy, special quarantine episode. It's the end of the world and we know it. I'm here with Adam Scott. How are you, buddy?

Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. How are you? Oh, okay. Oh, Scott, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. You're doing great. Okay. That's good to know. I'm doing great as in like I'm doing, you know, Superman does good. You're doing well. You know that saying? Yeah.

I guess I know that. I'm doing good. It's like, no, Superman does good. No, Superman does good. You're doing well. You know that saying? Yeah. I guess I know that. I'm doing good. It's like, no, Superman does good. No, Superman does good. You're doing well. How often do you find yourself saying that? Superman does good. You're doing well.

Yeah. Once, twice every 10 minutes. Yeah. That's good. That's a, I mean, that is good. Can I say that's good? No, Superman says that's good. You say that's well. Okay. Welcome back to the show. We are, of course, here to keep you up to date with all the REM news. with all the REM news.

And I got to say, a lot of activity from the Michael Stipe portion of the REM camp. Yeah, the quarantine has sped up the activity over there. There have been a couple of missives from Michael Stipe on, I guess,

I don't know whether they were Instagram videos or YouTube, but first he sent out one urging everyone to wash their hands and stay inside. Was that the first one? I think so. And then he started um singing song uh like excerpts of songs right which was cool to see and he's looking good he shaved that big letterman beard and um uh looking more like uh the the michael stipe of old old. And then he sent out this second one,

and this is interesting for our show because he is singing lyrics to a previously instrumental song. Is that right, Adam? No, there's lyrics. There's a verse at the end of the song he starts singing on Life Search on life search pageant but i've never heard them play that live or or even heard it like at all played which song is this this is

underneath the bunker yeah underneath why don't we why don't we play uh this uh and and hear a little bit of what he's doing. Here we go. I will hide and you will hide And we shall hide together, dear Underneath the bunker In the low, low, low I have water, I have rum Wait for dawn and dawn shall come. Underneath the bunker in the low, low, low. I'm bunkering at home. I'm sheltering at home. I'm keeping apart. We're together, separate. What do you think about that? I think it's awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

Whose dog is that? Is that yours? Those are my dogs. One sec. Sorry. Oh, wait. You're leaving the show now? Yeah.

Oh, my God. This is a perfect opportunity for me to finally steal the spotlight away from Adam. He had to go get his dumb dogs. And now I'm just hosting the show solo so that's uh that's pretty exciting for me i mean i've always kind of thought gosh what would this show be like if adam what i like to call the dead weight we're not oh hey he's back i'm back hey were you saying anything while i was no no no i was just kind of talking about how like oh man we need adam this would be terrible if if he never comes back oh good yeah but you're here you're here yeah i'm here uh yeah you know

um i i do think these this is awesome to hear him sing that uh that song what do you think yeah it's good wait so so that does have words in the Life Search Pageant version? Yeah, play the Life Search Pageant version. Here we go. I can hear it coming out of your headphones. You have a Belinda's playlist. Is it towards the end? It's towards the end? it's towards the end oh there it is oh okay

but obviously there's an effect on that. And so I guess I never really understood what he was saying before now. Adam? Yeah. Yeah. Neither did I. Neither did I.

Jesus fucking Christ. Sorry. I didn't know if you were still listening to the song or what was going on. No, I'm not. Anyway, but so, and then Mike Stipe goes on to talk about like, hey, everyone stay inside, which we are also saying as well, right? Stay inside. Yes. I don't want to catch your fucking bullshit.

My God. I mean, yes. my god i i mean yes it's just isn't it crazy that that's not being that yeah every once every once in a while i'll have to go to i'll have to go to like an essential thing like the market or yeah uh i had to go to a doctor uh appointment uh that was like like something that you have to go to right and I had to go to the bathroom the other day. Wait, you don't have a bathroom in your house? You know what? We do, but

I like public restrooms. It's just something I enjoy. Where did you go? Like a claim jumper or something like that? I went to the claim jumper down in Burbank. I like, I love, and they're closed down, so i had to close down what but it was still pretty packed in there i gotta say like the bathroom was packed really

and the bar like people were just going nuts yeah but every time i'm driving around out there i see just groups of like 10 high school kids hanging out, walking down the street together. And I'm just like, what are you guys doing? I was walking the dogs the other day and this pack of kids were walking up the sidewalk toward me and the dogs were like sniffing something. So I was just standing there and they were walking. There was like five of them walking straight towards me. And I had to tell them around go out into the street and go around me or they were gonna like like cough on you yeah they were gonna come up and just sneeze in my face but yeah this was like a week ago so i feel like people are started they closed down the trails up

here and yeah so people are starting to get it i think yeah well hopefully people will listen to people uh uh like michael stein by the way are we tired of uh shitty homemade videos starring celebrities yet speaking of which i gotta ask why weren't you in that gal gadot imagine video? Did they ask you? No. So how does that feel to know that they didn't even ask you? Oh, man. And secondly, would you have done it if you had been asked? Oh, man.

Did you see it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I saw it. I just, I saw that it existed and I was like, huh, I wonder why i didn't get that call exactly i wonder how that is gonna play and then saw the reaction i was like oh maybe i just won't watch it but uh i feel like they were the intention was the intention is very nice also she's a very sweet person um from just my limited experience working with her people were kind of dicks about it don't you think um you know i mean everyone

has the right to say something sucks we certainly hear that with our show don't we i'm sure um but yeah what i guess my first point was it's been it it's been, uh, 10 days or so, uh, maybe two weeks that we've been holed up. I think we're all kind of tired of looking at celebrities from the, the low angle, shitty iPhone recording. I I'm ready for some good quality filming to get back there. You know, something with like a DP and a grip department and electrical,

you know. I mean, first, I want Robert Richardson to be the DP and I want Thelma Schoonmaker to edit anything else. Wait a minute. You know what this is? This is an episode of I Love Film. You are correct, sir. Hey, everyone. Welcome to I Love Film. This is Scott. sir hey everyone welcome to i love film this is scott and this is scott and today we're talking about some of the unsung heroes of film uh some of those people you know when you watch a film um not a movie by the way a lot of movie a lot during quarantine i gotta say a lot of movie, a lot during quarantine, I got to say a lot of movie watching is happening. I would prefer if people switch that to film.

Films. You know, like. It's simple, Scott. It's simple. Excuse me, but it's simple. F, I, L, M, and an optional S. An optional S. Yes.

Parentheses S, end parentheses. And here's how you remember it. F is for films. I is for ilms. L is for umms. M is for mz. And S is for ss. Yeah.

Films. Films. And guys. I don't know about you, Scottott but the only thing that i've been watching and allowed my family to watch during this quarantine is the criterion channel i will only allow my family my of course i'm here with my wife and my um two adorable children and um are of course their their uh grandmothers and grandfathers are children and our, of course their,

their grandmothers and grandfathers are here and our aunts and uncles. And Labrador retrievers. And we also have the neighbors over because, you know, it can get boring during the quarantine. So we'll have most of the neighbors over to our screening room and we'll make up a big tub of popcorn. Oh yeah. And we'll all share it.

And we'll all just strangers our grubby little hands into one community tub and then we'll get into the what the other community tub which is our jacuzzi after we watch the films and uh we'll just it's it's we call it um hot tub time machine two parties because we only watch hot tub time machine 2 and then we get into the Hot Tub as well. Because that is the only appropriate film for these times. Exactly. But we were talking about cinematography. Richard Deakins.

The art of capturing light, as far as I'm concerned. That's, I mean, a lot of people just go like, oh, what does a cinematographer do? Point the camera in the right direction? Yeah. Shut up. In a criminal simplification of what a good DP does. DP is, sure, it's kind of what we say in the biz.

Director. Director of photography. Photography. director of photography photography so we're talking about people like that and um that's what that's what makes a good film i mean a lot of times when you're watching these films um the the very first credit that comes up when it when it as we say in the business fades to black um you'll see directed by yeah and then a then a name. You'll go, oh, wow, that person was responsible for the film. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold your horses or hold your horse if you only have one. Listen, there are so many people responsible. If you're not as well off as Adam

and I and don't own several horses, Just hold the one horse that you have. And that's fine too. That's fine. Just one horse is fine. But anything less than one horse is inexcusable. But when you're watching a film, a lot of people, they get up. You know what they do when those credits start coming on? They get up and they walk away and they go to their car and they go home.

No. Stick around. Read every name out loud out loud scream it into the ear of a stranger sitting in front of you scream it and stay even after the lights come up for at least 15 minutes to make sure there are no more names yep and then you start yelling out loud the names of your favorite below the line filmmakers. Please. Out loud. Out loud.

God, I hope we can get back to normal and movie theaters will open up and people will be able to take our tips on this. Yeah, because whenever I've done this, which is every single time I've ever gone to the movies, people react so favorably. So favorably. They love it. They can't even handle it. They run out of the room. They're so happy. And you can tell from how red their faces get and the way their eyebrows sort of have a downturn in the middle.

That's right. Where if they have a unibrow, it's like you're looking at a smiley face you know what i mean like the eyebrows are making a smiley face and that's how you know someone's really happy super happy super happy so anyway yeah that's so anyway we we love films love it love them we'll see you next time thanks bye goodbye pretty good oh yeah i mean i mean those guys are solid i mean more than solid they're as solid as a 300 year old oak i accidentally just pressed michael steif talking if you're wondering what that was does he you know i can't hear any of that anyway can he didn't he do end of the world as we know

it as well he did on the previous one yeah he was singing that uh i do that dude i can't find it here's here's something else though i want to talk about from the rem camp okay so this a lot of people sent us this so uh uh the uh college tish tish school of the arts is that what it's called i saw this so uh the dean this was in the news the dean responded to all of the students who are asking like hey since we're we were all sent home and we can't use any of the facilities and uh you know could we get part of our tuition back um and she sent them back an email saying like oh sorry uh too slow gotta go essentially um sorry we're not we're not going to be sending any of your money back, but she attached a video to that.

And you can look this up. Someone tweeted out the video. You can look it up, but it's her dancing to Losing My Religion as like an apology almost or... Well, apparently she's inviting the students to dance along with her as like a... As like a, hey, there's nothing we can do about this, but here's how we can all feel better about it.

I think it was separate from the money back thing. And it was just like, let's all solidarity. We're all in this together. So let's dance to this song. Right. So here, let's hear a little of this video. It starts with her like, first of all, she can't even edit down the turning on the video and turning off the video,

which is like, if you're going to be releasing videos, you've got to figure out how to edit out the beginning and the end. But she also starts by shrugging her shoulders as if to say... That's the problem. As if to say, hey, there's nothing we can do about this. Sorry, you're out of money. It's so crazy. She also, and not to be an artist

who's critiquing another artist, but she's essentially doing what Michael Stipe did in the video for Losing My Religion. Is she? Isn't she? Isn't she sort of like aping his style? She was saying that this is like a choreographed dance that she did a while ago.

I'm going to press pause. She was like, hey, this is a dance that I choreographed. But essentially, she's just like dancing around. And then at one point, she goes, that's me in the corner. The song goes, and she points to the corner, which I think is like boy that's not good choreography did you see jen statsky tweeted that she's gonna give her degree back did you go there pretty funny but this is something i wondered like um when you put out a song songs are

interesting because like when you put out a movie you can't necessarily cut in scenes from a movie into your own movie necessarily you have to get rights to it or you can't you can't like you can't use someone's movie in your movie or you can't like make a play and you and cut in scenes from the godfather into it but when you write a song you any idiot can take that song and then put it into whatever dumb art they're doing. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Well, songs are weird because it's sound and it goes, it's in the air. It's something that if you're in the vicinity of it, you can hear it.

So who owns that? Exactly. hear it so urine who owns that exactly so that's the unfortunate part about songs is like how how do the guys in in harry m feel about uh harry m how do they feel about this woman using it apparently some of the students said that they read the email and they were like, okay, well that's a total bummer, but that makes sense. I mean, of course she can give us our kind of with her. And then they clicked on the video and they're like, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a break. Is that okay with you, Adam? All right. So we're going to take a break.

We'll have more Are You Talking R.E.M. Remy. We will be right back after this. Welcome back. Are You Talking R.E.M. Remy. welcome back are you talking to rm remy our quarantine special it's the end of the world and we know it may be the first of many quarantine specials adam i don't know. You seem pretty bored. I hope not. I mean, I am more than happy to record as many episodes as will tickle your dandy. But I hope we won't be here for months on end. You were supposed to, I mean, we weren't going to be recording at all for a while because you were supposed to be, uh, uh, starting a job, right? Yeah. We were started, uh, we were starting, um, a show. I was supposed to

move to New York like four days ago for, you two months october yeah yeah yeah so i mean uh october wait a minute is this an episode of you talking you too to me i think so so From boy to breaking waves, every last one of them that is, this is You Talking U2 to Me, the comprehensive and encyclopedic compendium of all things U2. This is good rock and roll music. Welcome back to the show uh my name's scott this is uh scott over here hey guys and adam before the show you mentioned october which reminded me that we have to do an episode of you talking you two to me as well

right because there was a little news. A little, and we're not talking about Huey talking Huey to me when we say the news. No, we're talking about... There's nothing to report on that front. No, nothing at all. There's only news about the man at the front and the center of the band we've come to know as

Heat. Heat. at the front and the center of the band we've come to know as... Heaty. Of course, we're talking about our good buddy, Bonobos. It's safe to say he's our friend now. 100%. 100%. A friend of ours. And he, like most celebrities, who, by the way, I think my point with celebrities in their and their homemade

videos is first they came for podcasts celebrities came for podcasts and they were like oh i want i want some of that attention money money and attention and now they're coming for our shitty homemade videos celebrities get out of here. Yeah, really? Come on guys. Come, come on guys.

Um, RIP twiddles. Uh, but, uh, so Bono, uh, Bonobos, that is he,

um, he was so inspired by the, uh, Italian citizens singing to each other outside of their windows um to entertain each other which by the way this has not happened anywhere that i've been all i've i've heard our neighbors arguing but no no singing i have a text chain with our neighbors but other than that tax chain yeah we just talk about our taxes we get together out on our doorsteps and yell about taxes to each other 10.99 each other that's right um but bonobos he was so

inspired by that that he he he wrote a song and adam you haven't heard this and hopefully hopefully you'll be able to hear it uh across these telephone wires. But he sat down at a piano and played it, which, by the way, the other thing is, is all these celebrities who are making these videos to sort of soothe us and comfort us. The you see directly behind them is this incredible, palatial, incredible views like his. His is I think he's on the ocean yeah uh because it's just this incredible view and and uh that was another part of the uh of the imagine video is just like seeing all these rich people's backyards i know um but anyway it actually is a really beautiful song i think that he that he made hopefully you guys will be able to hear this. Can you hear this? Can you hear that?

You can't hear it. Ah, okay. Well, the audience can, um, I'll play it. Yeah.

Play, play it yourself. Can you find, uh, uh, sing across rooftops. Bono is how you can, uh,

it's on YouTube's Instagram, right? Yeah, exactly U2's Instagram, right? Yeah, exactly. U2's Instagram. It's him sitting there at a piano with a black T-shirt on. Any surprises there? Okay, here it is. Yeah, turn it down or turn your... Yeah, okay.

Here we go. I'm going to play it here for people. Okay. Here we go. A little postcards from Bubba in Dublin. Oh, he's in Dublin. St. Patrick's Day. A little tune made up here about an hour ago.

I think it's called Let Your Love Be Known. Let's have a look. Your love be all to us all. Yes, there was silence. Yes, there was no people here. Yes, I walked through the streets of Dublin and no one was near Yes, I don't know you

No, I didn't think I didn't care You live so very far away from me Just across the square And I can reach But I can't reach You can't touch But you can, you can sing Across rooftops

Sing down the phone Sing and promise me you won't stop Sing your love, you know Oh, let your love be known Okay, I'm gonna cut it off there, but I think you can... I like it. Yeah, I like it. It's actually like... I mean, it's just him, obviously, unproduced and just, you know... I like it. Yeah, I like it. It's actually like... I mean, it's just him

obviously unproduced and just, you know, at a piano, but the melody, I think, is really great. And I can hear what the U2 version would sound like.

You know, with like people going up on this, singing, you know, like having a big chorus on that. I thought it was really great. And then what happened was um some other people got involved and decided to do their own remix and put their own uh instruments on it so or maybe bono sent it to them uh for this but uh so so uh will i am uh jennifer hudson and yoshiki uh, Jennifer Hudson and Yoshiki, uh, got involved and took,

took his like little homemade recording and then put a beat under it. And will, I am saying under it. And then Jennifer Hudson is kind of doing some, some vocal trills. Is it lame or is it good? And Yoshi it's, it's,

it's interesting because it's like, Oh, it's a more produced version, even though Bono, like they put a little reverb on Bono. It's like the Todd glass special um right to make it sound a little more like a professional recording and then they said like collaborated with them for this this might be a todd glass remix i don't know um but uh can you find that and and listen to it on your end and i'll i'll play uh some of it over here it's on youtube it's uh hashtag sing for life

uh and and if you look up bono and hashtag sing for life um and we'll try to press play at the exact same time so that we can hear it uh exactly uh as it's happening but um yeah i mean it's like it's okay it's just like i don't i also think that Will.i.am is necessarily as good of a singer as Bono is, you know? And I would maybe just prefer to hear like a fleshed out YouTube version. How slow are you typing right now, Adam? I'm watching you. No, I got it. I got it.

Oh, you got it. You seem to just be staring at your phone, like trying to will it to... Well, I was sent a link, but the link kind of didn't... Oh, okay. Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. You got it, okay. We're going to press play at the same time.

Ready? Three, two, one. Here we go. Here we go. Yes, there was silence Yes, there walked through the streets of Dublin and no one was near. We all wait for the science to make everything clear. What's his view like, by the way? I can't really tell.

He's in London. Looks like he has a flat. Although he's looking out over the Thames it looks like. Thames. Yeah, not bad, not bad. The beat's coming in. Across rooftops Sing down the phone Sing, promise me you won't stop Sing, you'll love me now

I think Jennifer Hudson's coming up in a sec. Oh no, we're back to Will.i.am. Oh, here she is. Everyone is leaning against their windows with glorious views. Jennifer Hudson, though, to be fair, looks like she's in kind of a tract home cul-de-sac. Is that possible? I can't tell. It looks like maybe she's looking over a park. At first I thought it was just an enormous backyard,

which it might be. I don't know. Maybe she has a road through her backyard. Now, I don't know why we're complaining about rich people's views and now complaining if they do, but I'm worried about Jennifer Hudson. Maybe she has a road through her backyard. Now, I don't know why we're complaining about rich people's views. I know. Complaining if they do. But I'm worried about Jennifer Hudson. We are totally missing the point of this song, I think.

Meanwhile, I think I like the other one more. Yeah, I'm going to turn it off. But I would love to hear a U2 version of it. Yeah, sure. I think it's interesting how like something like this happens and then Bono just sits down and is like, oh, I'm inspired and writes like a kick-ass song in probably 10 minutes or whatever. Yeah, it was pretty good.

That's what they do. All right, well, this is pretty pretty pretty pretty good um all right that's uh all for this episode uh we'll see you next time thanks bye good app really good app good shit um there is a little more going on in the youtube or sorry the oh my god we're not in you talking to you too to me we're in are you talking rem remy there's a little uh something else going on that you you wanted to mention is that right adam yeah very sad news bill reeflin who was REM's drummer for the later years from, I think he started playing with them in early aughts,

like around the Greatest Hits tour, and then certainly into Around the Sun, and then was their drummer for Accelerate and Collapse Into Now. And just really incredible drummer and apparently a lovely guy passed away just this past week of cancer. So it was just really, really sad. And on, I'm looking for, they had some kind of thoughts about him on. Oh, okay. I thought I could see you like typing into your phone.

I'm like, what a, what an incredible eulogy. While I'm checking Twitter. Distractedly looking. Here is something from michael uh bill he is among the fine points of the stars and we are looking up with love and with our own reverence for his beauty humor his relentless curiosity and of course his incredible musical ear his time here with us, So Precious and Golden. There's a lot of really... On REM's Instagram, there's a lot of nice things. It's really sad. It's a sad time right now generally, but he was an incredible musician because he was also in

incredible musician because he was also a ministry and he played with everyone yeah talented guy was a big band he was in did he uh i think he was in glenn miller's big band the big band yeah glenn miller he was there at the birth of uh of swing yeah jazz and swing yeah incredible just what a career i mean he lived to be 140 years old as well. Yeah. But no, did he start as a session musician or? No, he was. Was he with ministry first? Before ministry, there was another incredible. Anyway, you can look him up and he's terrific and it's just really sad. terrific and it's just really sad uh and his work with accelerating and collapsing and now um his contributions are huge listen to him the feeling of those records listen to him slap those skins

if you could yeah uh and uh uh give him a little uh mental acknowledgement uh part of the rem family definitely um and uh was sad to hear it's also like yeah just said i don't know just uh in in such a a time where everything is is piling up and the bad news is just coming fast and furious to hear to hear that added on to it is just uh unfortunate but uh we wanted to acknowledge it here on the show because of course that's what the comprehensive and encyclopedia compendium does is we take the good we take the bad we take them both and there we have are you talking rem me you know as our theme song goes that's right as it dictates um our thoughts are with the whole rem clan right of course they don't they probably don't care that our thoughts are with them but they certainly are um anything else uh i know

that uh apparently you have to go even though none of us have any responsibilities or have to do anything i we have a zoom call with uh with katherine han and her family oh we have to get to here so now last night by the way you and naomi we had as we had a zoom uh drinks yeah cool up myself and tall john and nora his wife yeah we had a nice great yeah it was very fun we we were on for like two hours yeah it was great so try to beat that with katherine han okay i'll let you know how it goes yeah um so uh uh thanks for everyone for uh uh listening and hopefully this uh look i'm not gonna say it brighten your day but hopefully it filled the time yeah there you go that's all we're looking for is filling time at this point yeah so um we appreciate you any of you out there that that are not feeling

well right now we're with you and and thinking about you and uh pulling for you that's it doesn't even have to be the uh coronavirus you know. I mean, if you have diarrhea. We're right there with you. We're right there with you. 100%. We're right next to you in, like, the adjoining stall, putting our hand underneath the partition and holding your hand while you plop down that diarrhea. We are with you.

That's right. That's going to do it for us. This has been another episode of Are You Talking to R.E.M. Remy. And I know, Adam, you didn't even say hello to your fans do you want to say goodbye to them or anything like that i want to say goodbye to my fans my friends and i want to say goodbye scott to you thank you so much that's so nice to hear all right we will see you next time who knows we may be putting out several of these we will see you next time and until then we hope that you have found what you're looking for bye