U Talkin’ U2 To Me? - U Talkin' U2 To Me? - Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark (w/ Doug Benson)
Episode Date: June 4, 2014Doug Loves Movies host Doug Benson joins Adam Scott Aukerman to discuss the broadway rock musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. They'll get into the conception and making of the musical, Bono & T...he Edge's involvement with writing the music & lyrics for the musical, and share their impressions of the musical. Plus, the guys talk about the times Doug & Scott saw U2's PopMart Tour & The 360° Tour, recap night 3 of Hollywood Joel, go through some listener mail, and ask Doug “What's Your Deductible Bro?” This episode is sponsored by: Bonobos . Use offer code EDGE to get 20% off Fracture: Fracture allows you print your pictures directly on pure glass. Go to www.fractureme.com for more info!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
from boy to boots getting them on that is This is you talking U2 to me.
The comprehensive and encyclopedic compendium of all things U2.
This is good rock and roll music.
Welcome to the show.
I am your host, Scott.
Sitting across the table from me, wearing an old Comedy Death Ray Radio t-shirt,
and a leather jacket, his nighttime jacket, I think, and sporting a stash.
Sun goes down, leather goes on.
Of course.
It's that old adage.
Well, you got to heat up, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Leather doesn't breathe, but when the temperature lowers,
you got to heat the body up.
You zip up the leather jacket, you jog in place,
you get the sweats out, and then you go downtown wait you're talking about eating pussy
oh i'm talking about sucking dicks okay great jesus what is what's happening right off the bat
my god i want to introduce him him so you know exactly who is talking. Downtown Dick is here.
He, okay, we know him from Parks.
Not only Parks, but Recreation as well.
Both of them.
So your job on that show, you don't just patrol the parks,
but you also make sure people are having recreation times.
That they're adhering to the recreation.
Sure.
The show doesn't deal with you patrolling the parks all that much,
but I assume you do that every night when the office closes.
Yeah, when the cameras aren't on, I patrol all of the parks in town.
When the cameras are not on.
So your character knows that the cameras are not on.
Yeah. Well, the cameras are not on. Yeah.
Well, the cameras still follow us around.
They just don't use that footage on the show.
When the show—
They're not turned on.
Yeah.
When the show finishes, there will be an entire season of—
Park patrolling.
Yeah, park patrolling.
Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she would patrol the graveyard?
Exactly.
I don't know what you're talking about, but yes,'re too cool for buffy the vampire slayer exactly okay i forgot
so you know him from that show but then amazingly he leapt from television to the silver screen
appearing in the upcoming time machine 2 coming out this Christmas
do you suggest people see it on Christmas
my god
yeah Scott
I think that Christmas day
I suggest
what my suggestion for parents is
and by the way we haven't talked about this movie
enough on our show
so thank you.
Oh, sure.
I suggest for all parents of children, and I'm talking 10 and under.
I think children all ages, 99 and below.
Hey, I mean, we all have a kid inside of us, but I'm talking specifically.
I'd love to have a kid inside of me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you shut up for a second.
I'm talking specifically about parents of children 10 and under.
You skip the gifts in the morning.
You say Santa came, and this is what he got us,
and you pull out tickets to Hot Tub Time Machine.
The ticks, the sweet ticks.
Yeah, and you bring the kids to the movie.
You, like, wave the ticket in the air, and you're like,
Hot Tub Time Machine 2!
Hot Tub Time Machine 2! And they say, say daddy where are my presents and you say well
you have a two hour long present waiting for you right now and you bring them there but then you
since it's rated r probably you say you cover their eyes you can't come and you leave them in
the lobby and then meanwhile you see that sweet what's the filthiest – Except you don't say sorry. Oh, right, right.
Sorry, not sorry.
Yeah.
How about that?
Yeah.
What's the filthiest thing you say in that movie just so we can get ready for it?
I'm going to play a little trick on you here.
And I'm going to say the filthiest thing I say is, hey, let's go roll around in the mud.
Adam.
Just kidding.
I'm kidding.
You are kidding around, and you are known for that.
Yeah, I like to kid around.
You know, every now and again, I like to just throw out some irreverent, you know, just
a quip or two.
You're like the George Clooney of verbal speech. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. You're like the george clooney of verbal speech yes yeah thank you
for saying that you're like the ashton kutcher you've all been punked orally i i punk i am orally
punking all of my friends at all times i love it um by the way scott is over here across i didn't
introduce you hello scott hey hey everybody hey everybody
um do you want to introduce me you did that for the first time last week oh yeah ladies and
ladies and germs pumped yeah again i'm just i'm just fooling around uh sitting across the table
from me is you know him from this is scott sorry you don't know him me, you know him from, this is Scott.
Sorry.
You don't know him.
You know him.
This is Scott.
Thank you.
Is that?
Yeah.
Hype me up a little bit.
Let me start over.
This is Scott.
Sitting across the table from me is a man that you know, Scott.
All right. You can throw some credits in there. that you know, Scott. All right.
You can throw some credits in there.
Okay, okay, okay.
I haven't done a lot.
This is a man who worked on Shark Tale.
Ha ha!
Yes.
And this is a man who is here.
This is a man who sits in chairs.
I exist.
This is a man who is Scott.
Yes!
Hello,
listeners.
There you go.
You are listening to you
talking you two to me
where we cover
everything about you two.
Yeah.
And this is a very special episode.
Would you agree this,
Scott,
this is a very special episode.
Yeah.
Not only because of
the subject matter,
which we have been talking about for weeks now that we are going to get to, and we're finally ready because we have finally boned up on this musical.
You finished the book.
I finished the book.
We've listened to the soundtrack a bunch.
We're ready to talk about it, but not only because of the subject matter, which, of course, we are talking all show about you two's spider-man turn off the dark
if you would please turn off the dark hey spider-man turn off the dark hey spidey do me a
fucking favor turn off the dark hey webhead yeah got one request for you turn off the dark hey how about you use your
spidey sense and turn the dark off hey why don't you flip a web in this direction at the light
switch turn off the dark hey you see that light switch guess what turn off the dark
hey spidey with great power i.e this light bulb comes great responsibility to turn off the dark
hey spides yeah get your head out of your ass please turn off the dark
so you see exactly what we'll be talking about this entire show but not only because of the
subject matter but because we have a special guest, he jumped in and said
downtown dick earlier.
And if you know those dulcet tones,
you know exactly who we're talking about.
You know him from his very own podcast,
Doug Loves Movies,
which to my knowledge
is not about the musical theater at all.
So he probably has not talked about this
on his own podcast.
But he lets it slip every once in a while on doug love's movies his knowledge of musical theater i believe he's pretty knowledgeable
yes and as a matter of fact we and i am deriving this i'll just shut the fuck up while you talk
from listening to the podcast not from knowing this i'm just i'm just i'm just i'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just.
Hey, man.
I'm just.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, you got stuck.
Sorry, what?
A worthy, uh.
A worthy, uh.
Oh, boy.
I got a little insider information, if you wouldn't mind shutting the fuck up and turning off your dark, which is your fucking dark mouth.
Interesting. We'll see how that comes back around for you later in the show. the fuck up, and turning off your dark, which is your fucking dark mouth.
Interesting.
We'll see how that comes back around for you later in the show.
Here's my insider info.
I've known our guest for a while, and we used to have, that's right, season tickets at the Taper here in Los Angeles, and we saw many a musical together.
So, I know he loves musicals.
I don't need to listen to some stupid show and
guess that he are you calling our guests show stupid i am and we'll talk about that when he
is introduced i do not like it um you know him from doug loves movies you know him from
the benson interruption which ran on comedy central and now can be seen nationwide in theaters,
comedy theaters.
Yeah, none of the drama theaters are playing it.
You know him from Super Jaime.
Not Spider Jaime, Super Jaime.
Don't get those two mixed up.
And he has a brand-new podcast, not brand-new, but new-ish,
a video podcast on the VPN network.
Am I right?
Or Jash or something?
The Visible Panty Network.
I was just going to.
Called Getting Doug with High, where he partakes of illegal substances with his guests.
He should be arrested, but no, he's here in the studio.
Please welcome Doug Benson.
Hello, Doug.
Hey. Hi, Doug. Everybody everybody both of you and sam engineer sam is here which by the way doug now that i've
introduced you you're free to talk all you want but we need to turn our attention over to sam
sam hey everyone uh because uh engineer cody sam over here uh We were talking in our last two episodes a lot about Billy Joel.
Were we not?
Did you go last night?
Yeah, I did.
Sam went last night.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
You were going to.
That's okay.
That was my question.
How was it?
Break it down.
Tell us all about it.
It was great, but all hits.
What?
Just pretty much all hits.
Oh, go through the set list.
It didn't occur to me to write it down. I'll get it. I'll get it. It's about halfway through. set list. It didn't occur to me to write it down.
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
It's about halfway through.
I'll get it.
You don't have to write it down.
It was mostly all hits.
May...
What was yesterday?
Well, I guess at this point, they all feel like hits.
Like Piano Man, for instance, isn't a hit.
What?
It wasn't a hit when it was out.
Yeah, but you can't call that song not a hit. That's the song he's mainly in. I just called it't a hit. What? It wasn't a hit when it was out. Yeah, but you can't call that song not a hit.
That's the song he's mainly in.
I just called it not a hit.
You're a buffoon.
I heard him do it.
Okay, here we go.
Set list from last night, right?
Yeah, May 27th.
Miami 2017.
We've talked about this every single episode.
Not a hit.
But that's the first one
but he opened all three nights
with it
he opened all three nights
with it
so you can't go
hey nothing but hits
because well established
at this point
not a hit
and he's opened
all three nights with it
moving out Anthony song
that's a hit
yeah
yeah
your song
Elton John cover
wow
interesting
slash
he probably just played
a little snippet of it
was that
yeah it was a snub
when it got to the line where it says I'm gonna have a lot of money oh and he says bullshit right right Interesting. Slash, he probably just played a little snippet of it. Was that? Yeah, it was a snub.
When it got to the line where it says, I'm going to have a lot of money.
Oh, and he says, bullshit.
Right, right.
Wait, it was a snub?
I believe that's a term.
Just a.
Who did he snub? I've heard of snubs and flubs.
Who did he snub with?
It was just like a joke.
He didn't play the whole thing.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, when it got to that line.
Oh, so he snubbed Elton John?
Yeah.
So he played a little bit of it. Mm-hmm. Then got to a don't have a lot of money anyway. Bullshit. Oh, bullshit. And to that line. Oh, so he snubbed Elton John? Yeah. So he played a little bit of it, then got to it, don't have a lot of money anyway.
Bullshit.
Oh, bullshit.
And then he stopped.
Yeah.
Okay, and then he goes into Everybody Loves You Now, which we talked about, not a hit.
But he played that.
He played it the first night.
Zanzibar, he played the first night.
Did he play it the second night?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
New York State of Mind, that's a hit.
Mm-hmm.
Alferlena, not a hit.
Okay. The Entertainer, that's a hit Mm-hmm All for Lena not a hit Okay
The Entertainer
that's a hit
I think All for Lena
was a hit back in the day
I don't know
Then he played
Where's the Orchestra again
Wait, what was after
All for Lena?
The Entertainer
that's a hit
Where's the Orchestra
not a hit
Allentown
The Entertainer
was not a hit
He didn't have a hit
until The Stranger
came out
which was like
77 76 But you're always a woman to me He didn't have a hit until The Stranger came out, which was like 77, 76.
You're always a woman to me.
Thank you.
I'm trying to get through Billy Joel's set list.
Okay, so after The Entertainer was what?
Where's the Orchestra?
Not a hit again.
Allentown, hit.
Say Goodbye to Hollywood, hit.
She's Always a Woman, hit.
My Life, hit. Don't Ask Me Why, hit. Say Goodbye to Hollywood, hit. She's Always a Woman, hit. My Life, hit. Don't
Ask Me Why, hit. Keep in the Faith.
Again, if you haven't seen this video,
this amazing
cameo at the end.
Worth it. Not
Mr. T. Worth it, though. I gotta say.
Who is it? You gotta
watch it, man. Is it Ray Charles?
No, it's not Ray Charles.
Is it Rodney Dangerfield?
No.
Richard Pryor cameos at the beginning of the video.
It gets even better at the end.
He gets a special.
Eddie Murphy?
I'm not going to talk about it.
Scenes from Italian Restaurant.
I mean, hit-ish, although still.
I mean, it was on The Stranger, so anything on The Stranger was a hit.
Then River of Dreams. We didn't start that Stranger was a hit. Then River of Dreams.
We didn't start the fire. That was a hit.
Fire. Oh, God.
We didn't start the fire. Did he apologize
before or after? No.
I think he likes showing off
that he can still say all those words really fast.
Did he have
a... What do you call it? Teleprompter or anything?
Or written on his hand or what?
I don't know.
I think it's the only song in recorded history
that has the word thalidomide in it.
We should write a new one.
That's right.
Doug's right about that.
Did you just look that up on your snack?
It's still Rock and Roll to Me, Big Shot Piano Man.
So yeah, you're right.
No passion?
From 9 through 20
it's all hits yeah real little stage banner just yeah i would have been i would have been
disappointed i think i agree with adams if there's a three day always go to night two
because by the third one he just seemed but that's essentially he didn't have a ton of stage banner
either the other nights and that's essentially the same set list we saw
not really actually
because the first night that I was there he played
some of those but these are like the hits he played
on night one and night two but all
back to back
does that make sense? No no what was like
what was like an album track
he didn't play here that he
played when we saw him
okay I'll go through it.
Will you give me one second to look it up?
No.
Really?
I don't know.
Who cares?
Time's up, man.
I think it sounds like a great show.
A lot of songs.
Yeah.
May 17, I'm going to say.
That's probably why he doesn't talk much.
He's got a lot of songs to play.
Is this May 17?
No, this is May 27 again.
Hold on.
I got it.
I'll tell you what he fucking played.
Vienna?
How about that?
Beautiful song.
He played, you know, Everybody Loves You Now.
Okay, but Vienna?
Ballad of Billy the Kid?
Sometimes a fantasy?
Well, he played all for Lena, according to you.
Jesus, what is your fucking problem tonight?
I'm trying to prove you wrong.
Well, don't make that your fucking life's work.
Don't try to do it when I'm right.
I think it sounds like a fine show.
Prove him wrong when he's wrong. Yeah, exactly.
You know, that should be everyone's motto.
You're listening to You Talking U2 to me, where we
exclusively talk about U2.
Doug, thank you, Sam, by the way,
for that incredible
recap
of Billy Joel Night 3. People were
wondering, hey, Scott and Scott aren't going to be there.
What are we going to do?
Sam, you're there to pick up the slack.
Let me ask you this, Sam.
Did you go because we've been talking about it?
Or were you just interested?
No.
If you remember, someone bought tickets while we were having that conversation.
I don't give a shit.
All right.
I'm sorry.
A friend of yours?
Yeah, during yesterday's podcast.
Right, right, right, right.
Yesterday's meaning last week's.
Yes.
So your friend bought tickets and alerted you to it while we were talking about Billy Joel.
That sounds amazing.
And did you enjoy it?
I did.
Okay.
Yes, I did.
How were your seats?
Front row center?
Yes.
Great.
That's the only way to go.
I won't go.
Scott will not go to a concert unless it's front row.
Will not go to a concert unless it's front row center.
It's just not worth it.
It's just not worth it. You pay so much to go to a concert Will not go to a concert Unless it's front row setter It's just not worth it It's just not worth it You pay so much
To go to a concert
Why not be front row setter
Yeah
You know what I mean
Thank you for that Sam
I have to ask
Doug Benson
Opinions of Billy Joel
Oh he's alright
I like him
Scintillating
Yeah
I didn't like him at the time
When I was a youngster
And like Big Shot Would come on or something. I did not
care for it very much.
But then later
his later albums I kind of got into.
I didn't like that, speaking of
musicals, I didn't like that
moving on musical or whatever.
Moving out? Moving out, yeah.
Moving out. I didn't like that. You saw it?
Yeah. Okay, this will be
interesting because we'll be talking about U2's musical very soon.
Yes, right.
So please tell us about that.
He tries to compare.
Was there like a narrative to it or were they just doing Billy Joel songs?
There was a pseudo-narrative of a bunch of people like kids in like greaser outfits and
the romance on the wrong side of the tracks or something.
Can I just say, I think a pseudo-narrative is a narrative.
Okay, so when he asked, is there a narrative, you shouldn't have said no.
But it's really thin.
As thin as it is, it is a narrative.
It's a super thin narrative.
And to say no to this man.
Scott is a real stickler for narrative.
To say no to this gentleman who I have hosted this show with for now 15 episodes.
Thank you. I've sat across the table from him for 15 episodes, and for you to say there's no narrative.
You, how dare you, sir?
How dare you?
Scott.
What?
Scott.
What?
It's not worth it.
It's not.
He's not worth it.
Worth it.
It is not worth it.
He's not worth it.
He's a piece of shit.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Lower your voice.
It's not worth it.
Doug?
There's a guy sitting at the piano playing Billy Joel songs,
and the whole time I was like, well, is Billy Joel busy?
Why can't he be the guy sitting there playing the songs?
It would be so much better if this was just Billy Joel.
Yeah, and you could have your dancers.
At least Billy Joel would be there. And it's probably as expensive as going was just Billy Joel. Yeah, and you could have your dancers. At least Billy Joel would be there.
And it's probably as expensive as going to see Billy Joel, right?
If not more so, yes.
It was a huge hit, though, right?
It was a rip-off.
People loved it.
Yeah, I just didn't get it because it didn't have enough of a narrative for my taste.
But it did have one.
But it did have one.
Yes.
Jesus.
It had one.
Is Spider-Man, by the way, is Spider-Man still on Broadway?
No, as a matter of fact.
It's just finished up
You can go to the Earwolf page where you see all the pictures
Or go to our Tumblr, Earwolf Tumblr
And there will be, you'll see a picture of me standing in front of the theater
In front of the sign, and it is closed
When I was in New York a couple of weeks ago
I chanced upon the theater
And I took a picture in front of it
I'm bummed
Did you chance upon it?
upon the theater and I took a picture in front of it.
I'm bummed.
Did you chance upon it?
As you were running around on the old,
the great right way.
On Broadway. So it just,
it just closed recently.
Yeah.
It just shuttered.
Wow.
That was a long run for.
It ended up being like four and a half years,
maybe three,
three years.
Three years.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that's just because children say, Mommy, Daddy, I want to see that.
It didn't matter what was going to happen.
Well, you know, I think I've told you this, Doug.
Scott, get ready for it because this is probably your first time.
Yeah, I'd never heard this before.
But when I was 12 years old.
Oh, God.
I was a little boy. I wanted to be a big boy, certainly.
Yeah. But at this point, I was not ready to be a big boy. Right. I was just a little boy.
I knew no other way other than to be a little boy. Sure, I had big boy dreams. Yeah. We all do when we're that age. Sure. But at that point, I was not a big boy. I was a little boy.
My parents,
I still had parents because I was a little boy.
Yeah.
My parents and I
and my entire family
went to where else?
New York City.
Mm-hmm.
Well, there are a lot of other places.
Well, we ended up being,
we chanced upon New York City.
Okay.
We were asked-
You make some plans sometimes.
We were asked well in advance, we're going to see a Broadway show.
We've never seen one before.
My parents never been to New York City.
I've never been to New York City.
What Broadway show would you like to go to?
They'd done a little research.
They had picked out two things for us to go to.
a little research, they had picked out two things for us to go to. One was the Merlin musical starring Doug Henning, where he did magic while everyone sang around him.
Sounds great. Why even have an alternate?
The other was some musical about cats singing. And we said, what? That sounds terrible.
Let's see Merlin.
Oh, my God.
I think you made the right call.
I probably...
Well, having seen cats since then, yes.
Ultimately, it was probably six of one,
half dozen of the other.
You know who played the little boy in that musical?
Christian Slater.
Let the record show, I pulled my hair back
like I was doing Jack Nicholson.
Christian Slater's in Hot Tub Time Machine, too.
Is he really?
Yeah.
Tell us some Christian Slater stories.
No.
So wait, how was the Merlin musical?
It was, you know, I was a 12-year-old kid getting to the point that I was trying to make.
I was a 12-year-old kid.
Of course I wanted to see.
I was a little boy.
What you saw was more special than cats. people saw cats because you got to have like almost like a private unique experience you got to see a flop and yet you
would say well that is a that is that is a missed opportunity you could have seen broadway history
one of the first you know performances of this thing that became a major smash and ran longer than any other show in history.
But instead, I went to go see this thing because I was a little boy, and I enjoyed it more.
And that's – to your point, Doug, that is why Spider-Man ran for so long.
But we're not talking about Spider-Man yet.
Is Cat still up and running?
No, no, no, no, no.
Some version of it must be.
Oh, maybe like a dinner theater or something.
Yeah, but no, not its Broadway run.
Has Spider-Man traveled at all?
It's probably impossible.
He flips the webs on the buildings
and he swings from building to building.
He also holds the ball a lot
when he's playing basketball.
But what...
Like, did it open in Vegas?
I don't think it hasn't done anything yet,
but it's going to.
They say it's going to Vegas.
It's got to do something,
because that can't be the end of it,
because they've got to milk more money out of it.
We are not talking about Spider-Man yet,
because Doug Benson is here
because you have seen the Spider-Man musical.
You're a big musical fan,
so you have a lot of firsthand experience that I do not have with it.
But we'll be talking about that after a break.
Before we get to it, and we'll also be talking about you and I have seen you two together twice.
Because we used to be the concert buddies.
It's true.
We'll talk about that.
But first I wanted to get to some of our viewer or rather listener mail.
I just wanted to thank some people for sending us stuff.
Chris, are you peeing?
Are you peeing right into the microphone?
I'm trying to do a Kevin Costner and just instead you know, instead of having to leave just drink my own urine
That is, by the way, not a movie reference
That is something he just does
He didn't do that in the postman?
I want to thank Chris
Kratian
I believe is how you pronounce it
Are you really checking your phone while I'm doing
thanking the listeners for sending us stuff?
No, I was not
This is so boring to you
I was not doing that What are you to you? I was not doing that.
What are you doing then?
I was, there was a smudge on the phone.
I had to get it off of there.
So you're sort of OCD about the smudges on your phone?
No, I just had to because it was going to impair me being able to focus.
Just have a little fucking respect is all I'm asking.
I have absolute respect.
These are people who enjoy the show and they've sent us things.
I know, I'm really excited.
Okay.
Motherfucker.
What are you reaching inside your jacket for?
A gun.
What?
Oh, wait.
Actually, I have this right here for you.
I don't understand.
I love the record show.
I flipped them off.
Chris Kradian, I think that's, or I hope that's how you pronounce it.
Thank you so much for sending us both CDs, two CD sets that you burned for us.
Thank you so much.
He sent us the Melon remixes, which I actually just got, but thank you so much.
Did you have the Melon remixes?
Yeah, but what I did not have was the other thing he sent.
Yes, I didn't have this either.
Hasta La Vista Baby Live from Mexico City.
Thank you for
burning those. He says that
he got those from their fan
letter and their newsletter propaganda, and he
burned them for us, which is illegal, as far as I know.
But I appreciate it.
We should give the FBI his name and address.
Thank you, Chris.
I also want to thank
Matt D. Wilson,
co-host of the War Rocket Ajax podcast,
for sending us this cool rock and roll comic book about you two, part two of two.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Didn't get there early. I wouldn't want to jump into the second part like that.
Because it just jumps you right in.
First panel, welcome back.
I'm still Bono.
Oh, that's a good update.
That lets you know what happened in part one.
He was Bono in part one, and then this one he's still Bono.
Well, in panel four, Bono says,
last time we told you our story up until around 1984.
So that's probably what happened.
Oh, this is the history of the band.
Yeah.
So it's a cool comic book that has a lot of panels of them standing on stage playing.
Yeah.
Is he still Bono at the very end?
Flip ahead.
Oh, man.
That's a good question.
Spoiler.
Last panel.
Hey, guys, guess what?
I'm still Bono.
Turn off the dark before you go.
Thank you so much for that.
Yeah, here you go.
I knew it.
I knew that was going to happen.
We haven't done that in a couple episodes.
Thank you, Matt, for that.
And then also I want to thank Daryl Sacame.
Daryl, you did not have to go do this, but you sent me a very nice gift.
I don't even want to say what it is.
No, actually, I will say what it is because I want to give them a shout-out.
But he sent me four bottles of wine from his friend's winery, Sans Lige,
located in Pismo Beach where I used to play volleyball out on the beach, California.
And Sans Lige, a really great win his friend uh um was not looking for a
plug by the way but he this is uh daryl is a really big fan and really super nice supportive
guy doug you know daryl yes i do really cool guy who happened to who anditch me out. Oh, yeah.
When I, as a joke,
called Kulop a derogatory name on this podcast,
and he, knowing it was a joke,
joking around, called her that on Twitter,
thinking that she must know what he was talking about,
but all it looked like was him calling her a bad name,
and I jumped into his defense to say,
hey, don't block him.
This is a joke from the podcast. Did he lose some bro points that day?
Which started a fight between Kulop and I.
Like a real world fight.
Yeah, which by the way,
she called me that very same thing last night.
And I said, how come you get to call me that and I don't?
And she says, well, I'm joking.
And I said, yeah, but I was joking too.
Maybe because it wasn't public.
She should have said because you are a stupid bitch.
She said that too.
She goes, well, I didn't do it on a podcast.
I said, but I've done it to you in real life and you still get as mad.
And she goes, yeah, it's inconsistent.
Yeah.
You should just call her – from now on, call her a foolish woman.
Well, even that, calling someone a foolish woman, like why call someone something that can only be applied to one gender?
Just call her foolish.
But she's not.
She's wonderful.
Daryl, thank you.
He did that to apologize.
He did not need to do that, but I appreciate that. Is it good wine? It looks good. It's wonderful. Daryl, thank you. He did that to apologize. He did not need to do that,
but I appreciate that.
Is it good wine?
It looks good.
It's from Sans Lige.
Sans Lige.
Have you ever had to do a French accent in a movie?
Yes, many, many, many, many times.
Give us a little taste.
Ce n'est pas.
What did you just say?
Was that an accent or is that actual French?
That's actual French.
Oh, my gosh.
Sorry, do you want the accent?
Oh, you weren't doing the accent then?
No, it was just an actual piece of French.
Just a piece of French.
Yeah, if you say actual French, it's not an accent.
Oh, right, right, right.
You're just saying actual French.
Okay, give me English words but the accent.
What would you like me to say?
I'd like you to say, hi, this is Adam Scott.
Would any of you gentlemen like to suck my balls?
Okay.
Jolzes!
Right? I don't know.
Oh, wee-wee. Is that the right answer?
Hello.
My name is
Adam Scott.
Would any of you
gentlemen like to suck my
balls?
We have to take a break.
When we come back, we're going to talk about the times Doug and I have seen you two together.
Can't wait.
That'll be fun.
That'll be a lot of fun, right?
And we'll talk about U2 360, which I know you've been itching to talk about.
For the listener.
For the record, I was just itching my body.
Okay, when we come back, we will have more.
You talking U2 to me with Scott and Scott.
Sam, you got to turn up that music.
You got to.
You got to.
People want to hear it alright
this is from
Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark
when we come back
we'll have more from Doug Benson
Hey everyone today You Talking U2 to Me is sponsored by Hey, everyone.
Today, You Talking U2 to Me is sponsored by our good friends over at Bonobos.
That's right.
I know them.
I love them.
I wear them.
And if you don't already, you are going to love them.
I wear their shorts.
I wear their shoes. I wear, you guessed it,
their sweaters. I did a complete run through on their website. What does that mean? I know those
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looked at every piece of clothing. I got whatever I wanted and it felt good.
Bonobos, what is it? It's a men's apparel brand that has an amazing line. Everything from
wash chinos, denim, sweaters, casual shirts to suits, dress shirts, blazers, any style you want,
Bonobos has got them. And they have free shipping both ways and a stellar service of the customers.
A better way to say that would be customer service, but they have stellar service of
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And when is the last time that that has happened?
So if you want to know what Bonobos products I'm looking at, okay, you got the Summerweight
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Summerweight Chinos, they come in three cuts,
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So whatever your fit,
if you're standard or you're slim,
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Go to bonobos.com.
That's, first of all, Bono, B-O-N-O,
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So look, go to bonobos.com, and on top of everything else, you get a special deal.
Use the code EDGE, EDGE, like the guitar player of U2, and you get 20% off your first purchase.
So log on to bonobos.com to start shopping.
And remember, you can't spell bonobos without Bono.
Ah, yes.
U2 music.
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.
Welcome back to you talking U2 to me.
This is Scott.
And this is Scott.
And we are listening to a selection from Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark.
That's Bono.
In case you're wondering, by the way, Bono, lead singer of U2.
Everybody in that show just lip synced to Bono's recordings.
Did they really?
No.
No.
Okay.
You got me.
I've been punked by the best.
We're here with, of course, Doug Benson, very funny comedian in his own right.
So you guys went to see U2 together twice.
You went to, if I'm not mistaken,
first you went to the Elevation Tour together.
You are mistaken, my good man.
Then you went to Zoo TV together.
You are mistaken, my good man.
Because you didn't see the Vertigo tour.
You are correct about that, my good man.
So what you saw... You have not even said one of the two shows.
Pop Mart together.
Pop Mart, that's right, when they rode out in that big lemon.
And then 360 together.
Yeah.
So, Doug, what-
360 was kind of a reunion for the concert buddies.
It really was.
That was the first concert we'd been to in a long time.
Yeah.
And then we haven't gone since because it was such a horrible experience.
And I was reminded of your predilection to leave before the end.
Oh, really?
To beat the parking.
It was so far.
It was the weirdest.
The parking out there At the Rose Bowl
Is like you walk
You walk through
People's yards and stuff
Yeah it was a little strange
It's really weird
What was weird
I remember this
I don't know if you remember
But I have a pretty good
Sense of direction
In that kind of situation
To find parking
Like I'm always pretty good
About
It's a weird brag
Yeah
And we couldn't find it
That night?
No no
It was so far away
But I just like We were kind of running to it,
and I just like a homing beacon
just found the car right away
in a huge sea and mess of them,
and you were like,
how did you find that?
Yeah, there weren't spots.
No lights anywhere.
Nothing delineated.
It was just this weird,
we were parked on a golf course or something.
Yeah, yeah, it was so strange.
And did you get home?
Were you on the 134 pretty quickly?
Great question.
I think I remember the Black Eyed Peas started to play.
I didn't realize we were there so early,
and they watched like a song,
and then Slash came out and I was like
and I think I went
like left
and went to look at t-shirts
or something
because it was so
depressing.
Because man,
those t-shirts.
I gotta say.
I know.
Great t-shirts.
I didn't get one.
When the fuck
do we get our t-shirts?
Give us some fucking t-shirts.
We've,
Doug,
we've been talking about this
since episode two.
Yeah.
Bono?
Fucking hook us up
with some t-shirts. Yeah, just send us some shirts. Shirts. hook us up with some t-shirts.
Yeah, just send us some shirts.
Shirt, how hard is that?
T-shirts.
He drops shirts in Africa
all the time.
Yes.
T-shirts.
Boxes full of them.
Not shirt shirts.
Not like that weird
Hawaiian shirt you were
wearing last episode.
T-shirts.
T-shirts.
Some people have alerted me
to this, by the way, Adam.
Yeah.
You have more fucking
Twitter followers
than you two,
the band does i do yes
they should be fucking begging us by the way you know where i got that shirt where it's from a
place that i first heard of from you what tommy bahamas no on your show it's one of your sponsors
oh who been elbows yeah oh that's a great t-shirt. That's a great shirt. That's a great company.
Yeah.
They sponsor this show.
This show?
Yeah, this show.
Oh, they do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I didn't get it for free.
Well, they should give you...
Hey, Bonobos.
Fucking hook me some fucking t-shirts, bro.
Give him some t-shirts.
Come on.
By the way, you cannot spell Bonobos without Bono.
Or Bobos.
Or Bleeblobs.
So, Doug, what did you think of Pop Mart?
Great question, Scott.
I like seeing you two.
I think that even though I didn't love the 360 show.
Like the Pop Mart seemed strangely more intimate.
Like the 360 one just really felt like just this massive thing in the middle of the.
Yeah.
Well, do you remember why especially we felt that?
I don't know if you remember that.
Why?
Because we were behind them.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, yeah.
You guys are real shitty suits.
We were the 359 out of 360. We were directly behind them. Oh, that's right. You guys had real shitty seats. We were the 359 out of 360.
We were directly behind them.
But even so, just from any vantage point, it just seemed like the stage was way too big for like four guys to be, you know, just playing their instruments and, you know, doing kind of a regular show.
Was there fireworks at the end?
I don't know.
I thought it was from where I was.
It's not like I had insane seats.
You weren't front row center?
We were not.
No, and we were not behind either.
We were kind of up and to the left.
Oh, you were over by the grassy knoll?
Yeah.
I thought the giant object in the middle and how the kind of screens came down on all sides,
I thought it made it feel strangely interesting just because it was so huge.
Yeah, that made it a little better for sure.
But that kind of frustrates me when you go to these arena shows and it's like you're just watching the screens
and you're not watching the actual people.
Yeah, that's why I prefer arena shows to stadiums.
I think stadiums are like way too big.
Yeah, stadiums are too big.
Arenas are just right.
The whole Bear family can agree that arenas are just right.
So my main problem with this tour was they advertised it as,
hey, there's no bad seat.
And then when we got to it, Doug, we were directly behind them.
And once per song, one person out of you two would turn around for one measure and shake his butt a little bit.
And then turn right back around.
Shake his little fanny.
A little juice.
I'm not talking about the English fanny where he's shaking his vagina.
I'm talking about about the English fanny where he's shaking his vagina. I'm talking about
his little butt.
And you're
sitting on benches too, right?
It wasn't like the most comfortable seating. And by the way, the Rose Bowl
was built when people were skinnier.
Yeah, so people are jammed together
very tightly. Jammed together.
I just
wonder why they, because it was
such a massive, even though I thought it was cool
and I actually thought the design of the thing was cool
and it was a good show
I was also like this is so huge
why are they doing this?
why not?
because it's clearly not as great an experience
for the audience as those arena shows
as the Elevation Tour
it just isn't they just want to play those as the elevation as the elevation there's it's just
isn't they just want to play to as many people as possible that's my psychology that's what i
think their psychology is is they every single time want to do something bigger and be the
biggest that has ever occurred yeah you know it was the biggest grossing tour of all time yeah
so great they did that does anyone recall it with fondness i don't know i do i mean i thought it was the biggest grossing tour of all time. Yeah. So great. They did that. Does anyone recall it with fondness?
I don't know.
I do.
I mean, I thought it was a good show, but it's not even close to.
One of the best shows I've seen by them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that lack of intimacy makes your connection to the band feel less special.
That's all it really does. Yeah, I didn't feel close to the band,
and I think that's when Scott and I really kind of drifted apart.
Yeah, I really think it was that.
I think it was the end of us being friends.
Because you're the Edge and Bono of concert-going buddies.
So in general, just you two, what are your feelings on the band?
Oh, I like them.
I like a lot of their songs.
And, you know, I'm not like an owner of their albums.
You do not own any of their records?
Uh-uh.
Not even one?
No.
Can you talk about your possessions?
Like, give us a sense of what you do own so we can know.
And I'm not just talking CDs.
No, just items.
Just so we know how weird it is.
I've got a lot of VHS tapes sitting around.
Okay.
Do you have any U2 VHS cassettes?
No, I don't.
I don't think.
Do you own your apartment?
Own my apartment?
Or are you a renter?
I pay rent. I'm renting to own my apartment? Own my apartment? Or are you a renter? I pay rent.
I'm renting to own my apartment.
Okay, so I'm just going to say this, that the apartment then does not count as one of your possessions.
But one second, Scott.
The money you pay as rent does count as one of your possessions.
Take it away.
Until you give it over to the new owner of that. In which case, it is transferred over and is now their your possessions. Take it away. Until you give it over to the new owner of that.
In which case, it is transferred over and is now their sole possession.
Go, Scott.
So, you have, from what I hear, a lot of VHS tapes.
How about a car?
Do you own a car?
Are you going to talk U2 to me?
I don't have a car.
I had a weird head-on collision Last November
And I'm
What?
And I'm living
The Paul F. Tompkins lifestyle
What happened?
Of not having a car
In Los Angeles
How do you get around?
Uber
Get around
Uber
Get around
Uber and walking
And cabs
And an occasional rental car
If I have a lot of
Heavy driving to do
Can you talk about it?
What do you mean?
The accident?
Yeah, it happened.
I was driving up La Cienega and a dude just drifted over into a head-on situation.
That's fucking scary.
What do you feel in that situation?
It was bullshit because I'm just like, fuck, nothing I could do.
You couldn't swerve into his lane?
I couldn't turn in any direction.
I could stop, but he's coming at me.
Was he on his phone?
No, he was just like, he kind of looked like he was just out of it.
And then the whole time, he eventually went into an ambulance,
but the whole time the cops basically treated it like, oh, this guy,
I thought he was drunk or on pills or something,
but they just treated him like he was just a very doddering individual.
And they did no sort of test on him?
Not there in front of me, no.
And I never heard anything back about what he was on or anything.
How would you have felt if it was just pot?
If he was on pot and did that?
That would be ironic, I think, right?
I still don't know that.
That Alanis Morissette song really confused me about irony.
But yeah, it was very strange.
And the airbags deployed in both of our cars.
Oh, it's so scary.
Was it totally head-on?
Yeah, just straight on.
And how fast were either of you going?
I don't know.
I guess I was probably at a stop because I noticed him in enough time to at least stop.
So you were stopped.
Yeah, but he was probably going like 35 or something.
And what goes through your mind?
Just like what is, I couldn't believe, it just, you know, it starts to really slow down.
And like, is this really happening right now?
And then the airbags is just a sudden burst.
And I was kind of like surprised that it didn't like hurt
you know but it does there is this powder that comes out of it that just stinks and
both the bags on both sides popped out it stinks like yum or gross wait people say that
stinks about something that's yummy does it stink like cum yeah or does it stink like cum? Yeah. Or does it stink like shit?
Oh, that's why cum rhymes with yum.
I get it.
Yum, cum.
It's just like a nasty smell that's not created anywhere in nature.
But yeah, it stinks more than – it's stinky more more than yummy So how is your health and how
I've been fine ever since
I mean, I don't think I got hurt at all
But, you know, that's the thing about car accidents
That was like a back thing could like creep up on you
You know, months or a year later
Was he like, I'm so sorry
Or was he just
No, no, he just was out of it
Like it was bizarre to me that he wasn't
They weren't arresting him Yeah, right It was bizarre to me that he wasn't they weren't
arresting him yeah right it's very strange maybe they did later you just don't know is there a
litigation they didn't there's nothing there's his his insurance is like willing to pay but also
my cars was super old but like it was a nissan that ran really well despite me having it for a
long time and i just loved it i don't like buying a car i don't
like the process yeah so when this happened the airbags being deployed putting in new airbags
would cost more than the value of the car wow you know what i think it's time for scott i think it's
time for an episode of what's your deductible bro yep i think you're right
hey this is scott and this is Scott.
And this is Scott.
And we're here in an episode of What's Your Deductible, Bro?
And we have a special guest with us today.
This is Doug Benson.
Hey, Doug.
Comedian extraordinaire.
How's it going?
Doug, we hear you had an accident.
Yeah, I was in an accident.
Do you want to describe it at all?
You know, it was a head-on collision.
Oh, ouch.
What goes through your mind?
I was like, La la siena does that
mean the siena goes because i'm always working on new bits that are old all right cut the shit
we have to ask this right now let's do it what's your deductible bro did you say deductible i did
i did because that's the way i say hey hold Hey, hold on, Doug. How long have we been fucking doing this podcast?
17 years.
Why don't you know the fucking name of the podcast?
I do know the name.
I just like to say it my own way.
I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say it.
You have never said it one time.
I say deductible my own fucking way.
Oh, my God.
You are fucking...
Hey.
I love you.
I love you.
Hey, Doug.
Yes, yes.
Got to ask.
Okay. What's your deductible, Doug. Yes, yes. Gotta ask. Okay.
What's your deductible, bro?
Fuck.
What?
I love you.
Love you, too.
I hate to put you guys out like this and have a whole show and everything, and I'm the guest,
but I don't know what it...
I'm not sure what it was.
And that's been What's Your Deductible, Bro?
Great app.
That was pretty good.
One of the better ones.
We only fought twice.
But I feel like the fights themselves were worth it because we got to a new place.
I think the end of the latter half was the latter chunk.
Just smoking.
Way better than the first chunk.
So good.
Makeup sex.
Have you ever been in a car accident while there's a U2 song playing in the other car that hits you?
I could only imagine that that's probably almost every time because the music is so amazing that people lose track of what they're doing and crash into me.
Yep.
Crash into me.
Crash.
Has your car ever been crashed into?
Are you Dave Matthews-ing to me?
Has your car ever been crashed into by the U2 Vertigo plane?
All right, I thought this was a serious podcast.
All right, we do have to take a break, speaking of serious things.
We have to take a break. I can't hear you talk about a Broadway musical. Yeah, we're have to take a break. Speaking of serious things, we have to take a break.
I can't hear you talk about a Broadway musical.
Yeah, we're getting to it.
Okay.
It's almost like you've never heard this show.
It's kind of like I haven't.
It feels like I'm hearing it right now as I do it.
Look, we'll get to the band member names.
Oh, yeah.
We already talked about one.
We'll get to the band member names, then we wrap it up and say goodnight.
Yep.
All right, when we come back, we're going to talk exclusively about Spider-Man,
Turn Off the Dark.
This is You Talking U2 to Me with Doug Benson, Scott and Scott,
coming at you. hey everyone we have a new sponsor for you talking youtube to me and we have someone new reading the ads who's this hey hey bro hey bros hi bros um fracture i can hear you out there
going what what does that mean fracture is that what is that it could be anything well guess what
it's a company and it's a good company and they're're sponsoring the show. Let me tell you about it. Fracture, what it is, is a company, well-established at this point.
But what do they do?
Okay, get this.
They print photos.
I can hear you right now going, who cares?
Right.
Everyone prints photos.
Everybody prints.
Yeah, you can do it at home.
Hey, hey, why should I care if this isn't Kodak?
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Exactly, Scott.
But no, you didn't let me finish my sentence, idiot.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
They print photos directly onto glass.
Onto what?
Glass.
And if you know glass, grass or ass, no one rides for free. It's an important part of that trilogy.
It prints photos directly onto glass, which sounds impossible, right?
But not only is it possible, but it looks incredible.
Have you ever seen a photo printed onto glass, Adam?
Never.
Well, you're going to see one now because I'm getting a fracture of your face
and I'm putting it up in my new house. How's that sound? That sounds great. How big is it going to see one now because I'm getting a fracture of your face and I'm putting it up in my new house.
How's that sound?
That sounds great.
How big is it going to be?
It's about probably about two stories high.
I can't wait to see that because I love my face.
I'm going to sit on it every day.
Dude.
Okay, let me tell you about these fractures.
It comes on a solid backing that's ready to mount right out of the package.
All right?
All you got to do is stick a screw in the wall, hang it up, and they even throw in a screw.
Can you believe that?
You get a free screw?
You get a free screw with this fracture.
Sign me up.
Yes, sir.
If you know what I mean.
Meaning sign you up to actually get one of these fracture paintings, portraits?
Yeah.
It's affordable, too, with, listen to this, prices starting at $12 for their small square size.
I spend $12 on three cups of coffee.
Hey, I spent $12 on one cup of coffee, Scott.
You did? Where?
I was in expensive land.
where? I was in expensive land. Well, you know what? Fracture does not reside within expensive land because it is super affordable. They're all hand assembled and they're checked for quality by
their small team in Gainesville, Florida. So if you need another reason to buy one besides them
being our sponsors, you can also get, listen to this deal, Adam, 20% off with the code U2.
Wow.
That's one-fifth of the price just by typing in U2.
Wow.
That's a great, great deal.
That's amazing.
And let me tell you, they sent me one of these, and it is beautiful.
What's the photo of?
It's a photo of my dog's b-hole.
And it's beautiful?
If you like my dog.
I do.
I like your dog and his b-hole.
On glass.
So just go to fracture.me to check it out online.
And be sure to get 20% off with our offer code U2.
And how can you remember that offer code? Because
it's the name of the band
that Bono
is in. Oh, the
rock band U2. The rock band U2.
Yes. Go to fracture.me
20% off
offer code U2. Any parting
words? I can't
wait to get one of these things.
Say it now words? I can't wait to get one of these things. Ah, yes, U2. This is the classic U2 sound. From Spider-Man.
Hey, Spidey.
For fuck's sake, turn off the dark.
Spider-Man.
You wait.
She won't.
The kids love this part.
Is that Bono singing?
Of course.
That isn't. That's the kid. This is Bono. No, no, wait, wait. That's not Bono singing? Of course. That isn't.
That's the kid.
This is Bono.
No, no, wait, wait.
That's not Bono.
Here she is.
Ah.
Anyway.
They're near and dear.
Say.
Say.
We're.
All right.
We're here, Scott and Scott, talking to Doug Benson about Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark.
Yeah.
Let's give a little background.
Yeah.
All right.
What is Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark?
A lot of people don't even know that.
Really?
Probably.
Well, it was a Broadway show that just closed, apparently, just in the last couple months.
January 4th, 2014.
It closed January 4th.
Wow.
It was, you and I just read a book about the conception and making of this musical.
Read by Glenn Berger.
About the lovemaking that led to this musical.
Written by, yeah, Glenn Berger, who is the book writer,
which if you don't know in musical theater what that is,
is there are two components to a musical.
The lines that people say, not spoken.
Or no, I mean not sung.
If someone walks out on stage and they're like,
I would like to go to the store today, that's the book writer.
Book writer.
Meanwhile, if a person comes out on stage and goes,
I would like to go to the store today. That is the book writer. Book writer. Meanwhile, if a person comes out on stage and goes, I would like to go to the store today.
That is the person who wrote the music.
Yes.
And lyrics.
Both of these people are very talented in this case.
Yes.
Thank you.
Now, the music and lyrics, sometimes those are written by two different people.
Rodgers and Hammerstein, two different people.
Oscar Hammerstein wrote the music.
Richard Rodgers wrote the lyrics. John and Rice. Elton John and Tim Rice, two different people. Oscar Hammerstein wrote the music. Richard Rogers wrote the lyrics.
John and Rice.
Elton John and Tim Rice, isn't that?
Sure.
Sure, yes.
I thought you were just talking about your two favorite things,
the bathroom.
Going to the John and eating rice.
Lerner and Lowe.
Okay.
Something in Camden.
Green.
Camden and Green, yeah.
But in this case.
Lots of great teams neil and simon
how about william and shakespeare hey how about that those they wrote the best musicals um but
in this case bono and the edge did both according to them they both wrote the music and they both
wrote the lyrics is that true we'll never know, I'm sure somebody took a break here and there. The book of the official Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark is by Julie Tamer, Glenn Berger,
who wrote this book that we keep saying book not to confuse you, but he wrote a manuscript
about his experiences.
Yeah.
And he wrote the book of the show.
Yeah.
I read it as an e-book.
Sure, I read it as a physical book.
Yes.
That's why we're different.
Yeah, I live in the 21st century.
And I live in the 22nd.
When computers do not exist, they have overtaken humanity, so we destroyed them.
humanity so we destroyed them and also roberto aguirre sacasa who is a good comic book writer who will talk about him when it comes time but okay so it is a musical spider-man turn off the
dark was a musical that opened on broadway it's about the comic book character spider-man
and his quest to turn off the dark i still though there's no there's nothing about turning
on or off the dark in the whole show do you know what the reference is to uh no whose whose son
was it edges or no i think it was a family friend of neil jordans oh okay yeah said that's his kid used to or maybe it was a family friend of bono or the
some stupid kid when he wanted it to be daylight he'd say turn off the dark or when he was scared
of the dark he would say turn it off the dark turn off the dark and they thought that was so cute
that they'd name this multi-million dollar yeah endeavor upon it and never talk about why.
All right.
So let's give a little background of the musical.
It could have just been called Spider-Man the Musical.
Yes.
It could have, yeah.
And maybe it would have been more popular.
Now, Doug, you've seen this musical.
Adam, you have also seen it.
I have not.
You and I have read this book, so we are very uniquely qualified to talk about how this-
We're experts.
How this came about.
Doug, you don't know really much about the creation of this musical.
You just saw it, right?
Yeah.
Okay, so if you don't mind, we can talk a little bit about how it came to be.
Marvel controls the rights to Spider-Man.
Yes.
Except in the movies where Sony does.
Yeah.
You ever wanted to be in one of those superhero movies?
Never.
Your good friend Paul Rudd, he's Ant-Man.
Yeah.
You do not want to be in one?
Never.
Even if they offered one to you?
Never.
Never?
Never.
Even if they said, you know what, Adam, quite frankly, you're the perfect Batman.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I, yeah, in that case. Yeah. Yeah, no, I – yeah.
In that case, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
I've always wanted to.
In that case.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so a little bit about the background.
Bono and the Edge are sitting around.
They write 16 songs one day.
And they go, you know what?
I think these songs are about Spider-Man.
And Edge is like, I think you're right.
And then they go, wait, who's that at the door?
And it's Julie Taymor.
And she's like, hey, guys, I brought those pizzas over.
They're like, Julie Taymor?
You do Broadway shows.
We just wrote 16 songs about Spider-Man that we were just considering.
We had such a good time writing about Batman.
Yeah.
For Hold Me, Thrill Me, Swallow Me, Bill Me.
And then a musical was born.
Musical was born.
No, we're being facetious.
We're punking you.
We're audibly punking you right now.
That's not how it happened.
But what is interesting is I assume when i hear it's a 65 million dollar
musical with lyrics by bono and the edge are bono and the edge qualified to write music for a
musical no why are they brought in because they're bono and the edge and they'll sell tickets yeah
when you sink that much money into something bono and the edge are going to cost a lot of money yeah
but apparently they're supposed to sell a lot of tickets.
Originally, it was Neil Jordan
who brought them in.
What happened was, Marvel goes to
someone and gives
him the rights to go shop around
this producer, who I can't
remember his name. Tony Adams.
They go to this producer, they go,
go ahead, make a Spider-Man musical.
He is friends with Neil Jordan, who is a movie director from Ireland.
Yes.
He says, do you want to direct this?
He says, yes.
Why don't – or no, do you want to write it?
Sorry.
Do you want to write the book?
He says, yes.
Why don't I get my friends and you two to write the music?
He calls them up within 15 minutes, I think, and goes, hey, do you want to write
the music for this Broadway musical about
Spider-Man? They say yes, immediately.
And then
they know Julie Taymor.
Is that what it was? Somehow.
Somehow they...
What I had assumed
was that all of these weirdly
disparate
individuals were brought in in order to hedge the bet
of how much this was going to cost.
Yeah.
Like, okay, well,
we can't just put up
a Spider-Man musical
and have it be
Joe Schmo writing the lyrics
and whoever directing it.
We need Broadway, you know,
superstars writing the music and lyrics
and Broadway's biggest director.
Yeah.
But no,
it apparently was
just kind of organic.
They all sort of knew each other
and all said okay
yeah sure we'll do it but what he wasn't saying in the in the book probably because he just doesn't
have the knowledge of the ins and outs of all this is that like fucking ins and outs just that
just that they were probably all offered so much money to do this thing i mean it wasn't just
it wasn't neil jordan calling up his friends at the pub and going,
hey, do you want to write Spider-Man for free?
It was like, hey, do you want to be paid 20 of the $65 million to do this?
I mean, I'm sure they and Julie Taymor both.
I mean, the money must have been huge.
But I think reading the book, I think they did a lot of back end.
Like, I don't know that they got a lot up front.
In fact, Julie Taymor had to sue for her portion of the proceeds.
So I don't know that they got a lot up front.
Anyway, in any case, Neil Jordan quits right away, right?
No, he got fired.
Oh, he got fired.
Oh, that's right, because he writes something incomprehensible.
And Julie Taymor reads it, and she was brought in by neil jordan yeah
she reads it and it doesn't make any sense i heard it was just like crying game too
it no there was a lot of like spider sexual stuff yeah there was and she read it and said
and by her standards by the way if you read the book her kind of little loopy ideas of what make a good musical by her standards
it's crazy and she says i he brought me in but i gotta fire this guy i don't remember what it was
that but everyone kind of agreed other than bono and the edge and bono and the edge were kind of
pissed off when he got fired because he he's friends with them yeah so they had to be kind
of talked into sticking around and sticking with it.
Because they were like, we got to fire Neil Jordan.
And all he did was write a couple, like didn't he just write?
It was just a couple of pages.
Yeah, just a couple of pages, but they were nutty.
But then they needed a book writer to write it with Julie Taymor.
Right, so Julie Taymor is brought in and she wants someone to write
the book with her by the way can we talk about why she wants to do it because i think it's so
nuts i don't remember she gets involved because they marvel sends her a bunch of spider-man
material right sends her and i'm gonna get slightly nerdy on this but sends her an issue
of ultimate spider-man number one which is b Brian Michael Bendis, who's now a famous comic
writer. It was his re-imagining of the Spider-Man origin. And in that particular issue, someone is
talking about Arachne, which is this Greek, am I right? Greek-
Goddess of some sort. Goddess, yeah, who gets turned into a spider.
This is the part of a comic book where someone is talking about this
before he becomes Spider-Man in order to sort of foreshadow
and sort of to sound smart about it.
But really it's not part of the story.
Not part of the mythos of Spider-Man.
Just in there because the writer is like, hey, here's some spider-man it's just foreshadowing she starts saying this is what
the musical should be about yeah instead of doing spider-man let me do spider-man but all about
arachne this g Greek goddess. Yeah.
Wow, you got really quiet there.
My voice stopped working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she – I think in an effort to like I can't turn down all this money and how huge it will be.
But this is how it will seem smart.
And exotic and strange and cool.
Yeah, and we've got a rock and roll score from you know rock musicians that'll make it edgy so no pun intended i bet i hope not i hope not because
if you bring that kind of shit in here all right so she gets involved but she she comes up with
this story where basically spider-man faces off against this greek goddess who wants to have
sort of have sex with him um but and also kill him and kill him in fact there's a spider-man
which is supposed to be going to be a family musical yeah and and it comes up with a song
as a matter of fact that bono and the the Edge, I believe, wrote called Love Me or Kill Me or something like that.
I don't know.
Kiss Me, Kill Me.
Kilmer.
So in any case, we're giving a lot of background on this.
But what happens is they bring in this guy off the streets who'd written a semi-successful but not really all that well-known musical or a play and he also was a pbs
writer he wrote yeah it seems like she that's what i could never figure out is just how he got the
job i mean i'm i'm sure he's he's very good and had done a lot of work but he it doesn't it seems
like it's julie tamor bono and the edge and then for the book writer, they get Glenn Berger, who's, you know, I'm sure great.
They may as well have just said some dude on the poster.
I wonder if it seemed like maybe she just wanted someone that could just kind of facilitate her vision.
Yeah, roll over.
And he says that he wrote a scene to get the job.
And the scene that he wrote, I don't know, Doug, if you saw this scene in the thing because i think it stayed in every version was he wrote a scene where the green
goblin uh is playing piano on top of the chrysler building and then gets killed because he's webbed
up to the piano and the green goblin pushes the piano off the chrysler building without realizing that he's webbed to it and falls
to his death and that scene julie tamor decided was really great and so he got hired from that
basically that's all he wrote in order to get the job and he was as surprised as anyone yes the job
yes yeah what happened was it was in previews for so long with Julie Taymor's vision of this arachne who's the major villain.
The Green Goblin, who is the villain in all of the Spider-Man movies, dies at the end of Act 1, which is insanity.
Your major villain dies at the end of Act 1.
What is Act 2 going to be about?
Well, it's going to be about let me uh let me
exactly yeah let me let me read just a little bit of the summary of what happens in act two
the geek chorus which is a group of people that julie tamor invented it's ridiculous it's like
four kids people pretending to be teenagers who sing about what's happening but they recap as they go along like they sing about
what's what you've already seen like what kind of broadway musical has you see stuff happen and then
and then we sing about what happened previously for a little while instead of moving the story
forward but they're also dressed we're really yeah they all have really crazy outfits and they're
like talking in slang that they invented for the show.
Yeah, it's so real slang.
By the way, can I tell you what their names are?
Yes.
Geek Chorus, parentheses, Miss Arrow, Jimmy Sixx, Professor Cowbell, and Grim Hunter.
Professor Cowbell.
Professor Cowbell.
He's just sitting there watching an old SNL with Chris Walken. Okay, Professor Cowbell. He's just sitting there watching an old SNL with Chris Walken.
Okay, Professor Cowbell.
By the way, Spider-Man fans universally loathe this musical.
Oh, yeah.
Well, of course they're going to loathe the idea of it to begin with.
And then it's piling on all these things, Lion King and U2
and all these things that have nothing to do with Spider-Man.
They open it in previews.
Now, if you don't know what previews are,
they're normally, they go for a couple of weeks
in order to work out kinks.
People pay a slightly reduced rate,
but they're hoping to see pretty much
what the show is going to be.
But they go knowing that it's-
Is it slightly reduced?
It is slightly reduced.
It's a little bit, yeah.
It's a little cheaper, but it's still like, you know.
It's still Broadway's super expensive.
A hundred bucks.
And that was when that gold circle seating had just started everywhere because of the producers and stuff.
So like there was like, you know, $200 seats for this show and previews were gone.
But it's usually supposed to be just a couple of weeks.
Then they've worked out the kinks.
They have a big opening night.
thinks they have a big opening night they keep postponing opening night because things will happen like spider-man will be sitting there hung from the rafters unable to get down for a half an
hour at a time um the show will just stop um for long periods of time and people will because there
are safety things happening where the where the person will realize someone is going to get crushed to death.
And they'll say, stop everything over the mic.
And people are booing and hissing.
They hate this show.
It goes on for previews for eight months.
And in that eight months,
the guy who writes this book and bono and the edge and the producers
are all saying this show sucks yeah but they all get the idea you know what would make it better
and a stage hand has to tell them this by the way did you isn't that a really interesting part is
that the stage manager i think the state yeah someone says to the glenn berger the writer of
the book they go hey you know the manager, he gets paid to go.
Like, he watches all these shows.
He comes up with good ideas of how to fix them.
He has some ideas.
Why don't you go listen to him?
That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.
This guy's a professional writer.
But, hey, good ideas come from anywhere.
The guy goes, hey, this show would be way better if the Green Goblin fight was at the end.
No one has thought of this.
Yeah.
But they worry about pissing off Julie Taymor because the only reason she wanted to do this show is because of Arachne.
And so no one fucking says anything to her.
But everyone has these secret meetings, including Bono, The Edge, everyone, where they all have a plan.
They call it Plan X, where they know they have to tell Julie Taymor this.
Like, get rid of Arachne.
Get rid of the geek chorus.
Get rid of them.
Make it just a simple story about the Green Goblin becoming the Green Goblin.
Put the fight at the end, the most exciting part of the show.
Put it at the end of the show.
And get rid of all this weird arty stuff.
And finally they do, and she quits the show.
Yeah.
And she says, you can't do this.
You can't change my masterpiece.
Quits the show.
Yeah.
They make these changes to where it kind of makes sense.
I'm not going to go into it here, but version 2.0, as they call it, it makes more technical sense.
And it's able to run for another couple of years.
They spend $65 million on it.
It never makes the money back.
It never made the money back.
No, it did not make the money back.
The investors, I think, are really pissed.
The reason they're moving it to Las Vegas is because they say, we're eventually going to make the money back.
I'm sure they will in Las Vegas.
Yeah, they'll just do a bunch of stuff with it.
Like they'll do tours and stuff probably.
Right.
Because also kids aren't that discerning about it.
Like the music is fine and Spider-Man flies around.
But it was cracking me up that there was all these injuries with the flying Spider-Mans.
And like right across the street,ary poppins was flying around every
night with no problem right they were they were probably doing the is it the foy system
the flying foys the old the typical like they've been doing it since the 20s where like stagehands
pull ropes yeah all of this stuff was mechanized and on computers and the problem is with those is
if anything is wrong,
this computer is going to fly that Spider-Man into a brick wall regardless of whether the wall is there or not.
And if there's some fuck-up, it takes hours to reprogram everything
because then the entire show is fucked and backed up.
And also with the guys flying around,
the people they hired are used to working in movies where you just have to grab a few seconds, if that, of a particular stunt.
And so these guys were like, I've never thought about the rest of it.
The fact that this stunt has to finish somewhere and the audience will be watching the whole thing.
We have to consider...
So it was a completely new ground for a live show.
People are breaking both of their ankles when they land.
A dude fell and broke vertebrae in his back.
The woman playing Arachne was replaced.
She never ended up actually opening the show because um she was
standing underneath uh and a carabiner like fell on her head yeah on like the first preview night
yeah gave her a concussion and she in my opinion she saw this as like hey it's time to get out yeah
i think julie taymor knew the show was really fucked. I don't think like by the time she left,
she thought it was some great masterpiece at all.
I think she was,
it seemed like she knew it was all screwed up and not the greatest show in the world.
Well, it's an interesting thing
that I wanted to talk about
is just like what the process of writing this musical is
because we're here, of course, to talk about U2
and we barely talked about them involved in this. what the process of writing this musical is, because we're here, of course, to talk about U2,
and we've barely talked about them involved in this.
And the book gives a lot of inside info about it.
But musically, what do you think?
You went to see it because you're a huge U2 fan. Yeah, and I was just curious because of all the,
at the time, it was just a big joke.
But I also thought, thought well i'm sure
there's some like kitsch value to going and seeing it and if it's really bad i'm sure that'll be super
fun too to just see a big bad spectacle but it ended for me at least i just thought it was boring
and we left at intermission but i do remember thinking the music sounded like shit and reading the book i realized
they had this big expensive brand new sound system but they built sets in front of it they had to
they in order to get everyone swinging around they had to build stuff in front of it so the
the sound was incredibly muddy and they they didn't get it right until the real opening. When they opened back up,
they just brought in new speakers
and put them in front of the stage.
Like, it's all so screwed up.
So what do you think about,
like, listening to the music now?
Yeah, I thought,
when I saw the show,
I remember being really disappointed
in the music.
I didn't think it was
particularly good.
I'm going to play a little bit
of this instrument.
Yeah, but you know,
the songs are exciting, really.
Listening to it today, there are a few songs that I think are pretty good.
And Steve Lillywhite produced the album.
Like this, to me, sounds good.
It sounds like a pretty good U2 song.
But this sounds like a competent...
This is, by the way, I thought it was the overture,
but it's actually...
I was reading it happens in the
middle of the show but that part of their song that gets uh like a uh like a little uh i think
it was like a little school bus or something goes by and it's forced perspective or whatever and
it's tiny but it looks like it's far away and they're playing that on the radio like you can
hear the beginning of that u2 song and then it transitions into this i think and like people
kind of laugh and clap when they hear
the little
now doesn't this sound a little like Pride in the Name of Love
yeah the very beginning of it's just directly it
this sounds exactly like
are very close to
Thrill Me Kill Me and then it goes into this
which is just kind of like
I just
I was really disappointed in the music but
listening to it today
I was like there are a couple songs here that are good
it's just not right for a musical
it just wasn't a fun show
and reading the book
it just doesn't sound like
they were on tour
they were making records
they didn't have time to focus
here's the problem when you hire someone like you two
and pay them a ton of money in order to hedge your bet they are not going to focus on this they basically here's what they did for the
musical from from this book's account they would come into town once every three months yeah give
them four hours yeah and they would sit in a room and jam and then go here's a song here's here's your songs for the musical and
then they would disappear for another three hours yeah then they would like come back in and they
they basically would be there to cheerlead the musical they would constantly be bringing people
in to invest in it yeah you know like bono would call up like um who was the like super conservative
person that he brought to the musical? Do you remember?
Oh, yeah.
He brought someone super conservative just because he knew they were rich to like – Rupert Murdoch.
Oh, yeah.
He brought Rupert Murdoch to it.
Brought Oprah in just to like –
Just to be like, hey, you know, like check out this thing I'm working on.
It's going to be amazing.
And they kept saying to Glenn Berger, they kept saying, this has to be amazing.
And in my mind, I'm i'm saying well why don't
you stick around and make sure it's amazing yeah because people who have written musicals
throughout time they're there all the time you have to be obsessed with it like if you if you
read about like say oklahoma rogers and hammerstein they're there during previews, they realize Act 1 ends on a kind of down note.
They go write the song Oklahoma.
Right. You know what I mean?
And Oklahoma,
OK, L, and they're like, hey,
we got, and then they put it in, it's a hit.
Meanwhile, U2 is off
in Australia or something.
I mean, hey, it could be any country.
Hey, you're right.
It could be any country. Hey, you're right. It could be just in – Japan.
Sure.
Canada.
I'm having trouble coming up with any other country.
I can't think of any.
Okay.
I'm blanking already.
It could be Japan or Canada.
Let's just say those.
Japan.
Oh, wait.
Australia.
I said Australia.
Doug? It could be Japan or Canada. Let's just say those. Japan. Oh, wait, Australia. I said Australia. Yeah.
Todd?
Can you come back to me?
Yeah, I'll come back to you.
Okay.
Scott, what do you got?
Like Toronto.
That's part of Canada.
That's a great part of Canada.
Tokyo.
Well, that's... Wait.
Tokyo.
Yeah, Tokyo.
Is that in Japan?
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Brisbane.
It's Australia.
Melbourne.
Australia.
Australia, fuck. Australia. It's hard to keep track of what places are
doug we're back to you places are in places back to you what do you got too much sydney
sydney's australia australia yeah that's australia let's go with australia
okay fine australia australia great australia great um so yeah but they just disappear for Let's go with Australia. Okay, fine. Australia. Australia. Great. Australia. Great.
So, yeah, but they just disappear for months and months,
and then they'll kind of send back songs every once in a while
that have gibberish and no lyrics,
but will have kind of the feel of what they think.
Yeah.
And then people will go, amazing.
Bono, Edge, this is amazing.
They'll go, you've got to write lyrics at some point, but this is amazing.
They're just not present for it.
It's like you're not getting your money's worth.
And the songs just don't feel like a musical.
They're all pretty dark, kind of downer songs.
Right.
Which makes it kind of interesting, I guess.
It's unlike any other musical, but there's not's not a lot of hey I've talked about it before
narrative
yeah
I
do you remember this Doug
early in the show
for the song
bouncing off the walls
or crawling up the walls
the kid is
in a contraption
yeah
that is on the outside
of his costume
it's like a thing
that goes around
his waist
and he
is running up
and going upside down and bouncing.
The song's called Bouncing Off the Walls.
So he's bouncing off the walls of this room,
and this machine is moving him around the room
to make it look like he's floating around.
But he's in this steel girder that's...
And in the book, they're talking about it they're like well you
can clearly see that he's being lifted up by this machine and julie tamor is just like well the
audience will just have to make that leap i remember watching it thinking there is no illusion
here we're just watching a person being hoisted around by the... Right.
Yeah.
It was so weird.
It was like... Well, and every time he flies over the audience, he's like, you know, he has to take a second
and get really, you know, in the harness properly and then suddenly kind of fly.
But it just sort of looks like he's hanging on to something and flying around.
It doesn't have the Spider-Man.
It's not coming out of his wrist, you know.
It's weird.
It's very weird.
They each had two ropes coming out of their back at all times,
swinging them around.
It didn't look like they were flying at all.
It was less like,
I think they've been pulling it off with Peter Pan in productions better
for years and years.
It's a strange thing that they couldn't get that and that it was.
Doug, what did you think of the show?
I mean, obviously you didn't like it, but you went.
I hated it.
I watched the whole thing, though.
I sat through the whole thing.
But, like, the stuff with the spider lady and, like, you know, there's this big number, I guess, where she's, like, she's up on the wall and she's surrounded by all the other spiders and they're all singing or whatever.
And it's just like I was just shaking my head the whole time.
And it's like,
there's something about like,
if you go to a movie or something and you're with your friends and it sucks,
you can joke,
you know,
kind of joke around and stuff.
But,
but there was no,
there was no joy in sitting there watching it be so boring and terrible.
Like it was just,
it just felt bad that it,
you know,
you're bothered,
you know?
And also the whole thing of like wondering if someone was going to get injured was also
a bummer.
It's kind of gross to be sitting there thinking about
that people... It's like people who go see hockey
trying to see a fight.
But, you know, I don't know.
I felt badly for the actors
because they were all
great and totally
going for it.
A lot of them came from some of Julie
Tamor's projects, like her
movie Across the
Universe. Yeah. You know, and they're all
really good actors. The dude that played the Green Goblin
came out pretty unscathed. Yeah, he was
good. Well, what was interesting about him
was he
seemed to love it. I've
seen a lot of interviews with him about the Green
Goblin because one thing that maybe you guys don't know
is the musical episode of Comedy Bang Bang, the TV show,
there is a number in it that is a direct parody
of one of Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark's numbers
from the new version.
Yeah, because they came out and sang it on Letterman
and it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen.
So we would watch it in the
writer's room all the time it's this song a freak like me needs company um just a really fucking
weird song where green goblin comes out and talks about how new york city is all freaky
and he needs company because he's a freak and he he trots out the sinister six that he's created
and they did it on letterman they did it on Letterman?
They did it on Letterman.
It was one of the weirdest
things I've ever seen.
So we shot it like
they did it on Letterman.
Uh-huh.
And we wrote it into the show.
So it's the freaky
fandom song
where Tom Lennon
is singing about
how he's a freak.
That's awesome.
In any case,
it's just one of the weirdest
things I've ever seen.
But he
stuck around trying to get a Tony nomination and he quit the show in any case it's just one of the weirdest things I've ever seen but he he
stuck around
trying to get a Tony nomination
and he quit the show
like the week after
Tony's were not
were announced
and he didn't get one
makes sense
but in
X interviews
which I've
seen a lot about
because I was just
fascinated with this
stupid part
in this stupid musical
he talks about
what a great joy it was
he would ad-lib a lot
they encouraged him to like oh he did the night we saw he ad-libbed about he like to make jokes about
people in the audience and stuff too i think and you would ad-lib about like there's a line in in
this song about like i'm a 50 million dollar circus tragedy and then he'd kind of quip more
like 65 because everyone knew how expensive it was
um i want to talk about this adam because you sent me this but reeve carney the actor who played
spider-man yeah he you sent me this interview that he did and here's a weird quote from it
because i think it's interesting um the the question is what influence did doing the show
have on your album he says the show definitely helped me with my work ethic.
For a musician, having to show up on time every day is not the easiest thing in the world.
He says, but also recording with Bono was a huge influence.
There's only one Bono.
Watching him in the studio was one of the biggest factors in building my own studio.
He'd sing into a $100 microphone and just surrender completely to the muse,
to his inspiration, without worrying about the equipment.
I went a bit more high-end than $100 microphones, but the idea stayed with me.
Oh, yeah, and weren't we wondering, like, why is he singing into a $100 microphone?
Why do they have $100 microphones in a recording studio?
To make this album.
Yeah, I didn't get that.
What is going on?
Maybe he was talking about some other time where they were in some shitty club or something.
I don't know.
Maybe he's watching them write these songs in the one hour that he'll give them on some shitty thing and going,
Here you go.
Here's the new Spider-Man song.
I don't know what, but what's weird about that quote is we couldn't figure out why he's singing
into a hundred dollar microphone in the first place.
But then for Reeve Carney to be like,
I went a bit more high than a hundred dollars.
It's like,
why are you trying to big time Bono?
Yeah.
Um,
so yeah,
just a,
just a weird situation.
yeah,
not a great show, but it kind of took out, like culturally,
it was a national conversation.
Why are you shouting?
I'm not shouting.
Unlock the caps.
Kind of an abysmal failure c plus but um they've kind of recovered from it right i mean it
doesn't seem i wonder if this has something to do with them delaying their album so much if they're
like the last time we publicly came out with something it was a fucking bomb well they've
their two last projects no No Line on the Horizon.
And Spider-Man.
And Spider-Man.
And they were pushing Spider-Man.
I don't know if you remember.
They came out.
They were very front and center on it.
They sang the single on American Idol.
Like Bono and the Edge came out.
They were on 60 Minutes.
Didn't they go on the Tonys, actually,
even though it only got nominated
for like one or two maybe yeah and they went on and uh said something about how embraced they were
by the whole uh broadway community and right just like where do they even meet the broadway community
right basically it seems to me like because they get a huge back-end thing that's what from reading
the book it seemed like both julie taymor and you two took huge back ends where if it's a hit and makes money they make a shit ton of money bucco dolores
but that also might be why they're saying dolores claryborn they might be saying it hasn't made a
profit yet so they don't then nobody has to get paid right yeah it could be because it's
played for three years bucco delorean it played for three years. Buco DeLorean.
It played for three years
and didn't have any famous people in it
and was at capacity a lot of the time.
I think at a certain point
that producer, Michael Cole,
who was kind of in charge of everything,
was just like, fuck it.
It's Spider-Man.
Just have Spider-Man fly around.
Kill the Green Goblin.
You know, eight performances a week.
Who cares?
Who cares at this point?
Build up the romance between MJ and him or whatever.
We didn't even talk about this.
The original producer, the guy who got Neil Jordan and the Edge, he's there to have Edge in Edge's apartment, have him sign the contracts.
have Edge in Edge's apartment have him sign the contracts.
Edge comes
in, presumably
fucking just getting done
jerking it.
Absolutely.
No, he comes in because he had to go get a special pen.
Oh yeah, he gets a special pen.
This producer who put the whole thing
together is dead in his apartment.
This is...
I mean, this show is fucking
cursed. We buried the lead.
It's fucking crazy.
That's Tony Adams. While he's going
to get a pen, that old excuse.
That's his alibi.
I was going to get a pen.
I think it's suspicious. I think the edge
murdered this guy.
Look, I love you two as much much as anyone, and quite frankly,
Bono,
I still want you to do the show. And get us
some t-shirts. Get us some fucking t-shirts. But Edge,
if you're a murderer,
I might not like this band anymore.
At the very least, he should come on this show
and defend himself. Defend yourself, Edge.
That's all we're asking. Oh, before we
wrap it up, I just want to thank Craig Doster Chandler Jr.,
long name, for inviting us to his graduation?
Graduation.
You going to be able to make that?
No, it's already passed.
It's happened already.
He sent it too late.
Craig Doster Chandler Jr.
That's a rude invitation to get an invitation for something that's already happened.
You guys rock.
You talking U2 to me is the only reason I've survived these last few months of school.
Really?
That's pretty awesome.
A high school, graduating high school student listening to this?
I mean, a lot of celebrities are invited to the prom
by hot 16-year-old girls, but
hey, we got this.
Craig, thanks, buddy.
It's the hot 16-year-old girls
that are asking celebrities to go.
Hey, Craig, hopefully in your future
there's some college girls
and some fucking t-shirts.
Hey, from the looks of Craig on this
invite, he's a fine-looking young fella.
There's a lot of college girls in his future, or college guys in his future.
That's probably why he didn't get around to inviting you until after.
The world is your oyster, Craig.
Fuck whatever you want.
On us.
Look.
Look at the stamp on this envelope.
Okay, don't pull the thing where you don't give it to me
oh look spider-man
on the stamp spider-man stamp
that is serendipitous
that's why it's late probably
because he had to shop for that stamp
in New York
turn off the stamp.
Is there anything else we can say about Spider-Man?
I mean, this is kind of our last episode where we actually talk about U2 things,
not to give anything away.
Yeah.
For a while, anyway.
Yeah, for a while.
I mean, hopefully U2 comes out with a record before next week,
so we'll have something to talk about next week.
Oh, that'd be good if they came out with one by then.
Yeah.
Like they could just put out like a surprise record.
That's what we've been talking about.
Would you like that if they pulled a Beyonce and just all of a sudden U2 was out with a new record?
Sure.
I like when anybody does it because it's, you know, it's different.
It's different to just suddenly surprise everybody with an album do you like do you like it
when you walk into a room doug and i love walking into rooms it's your it's your room it's your
house presumably your apartment okay everything's dark you flip on the old switch you turn on the
light as opposed to turning off the dark uh-huhhuh. Presumably an empty room. Yeah.
All of a sudden,
like 20 to 30 people pop up from behind
your furniture and say,
surprise!
Surprise.
Do I like that?
Do you like that, Doug?
I'm not a fan of it.
Why do you ask?
Well, because you keep
talking about how you'd love
to be surprised by this music.
All right.
I have to go.
I keep talking about it. It's to be surprised by this music. All right. I have to go. I keep talking about it.
It's 11.06, Adam.
Yeah.
We've gone later.
I got here at 7.
It's late.
Can we talk about that?
Oh, my God.
Whose fault do you think that is?
It's my fault.
You have to go watch Chef to wait for us to show up.
No.
In the text, it said 7, but there had been an email in between that text and now saying nine.
Yes.
I just –
You looked at the old text.
So I got here at seven.
All right.
Well, I apologize.
It's not – it's my fault.
But your family is probably disappointed in you for you to be out so late.
That's the problem with this show.
Keeps him away from his family?
Mm-hmm.
keeps him away from his family.
Well, listen, guys.
You know, I feel like we made some real progress tonight.
Look, we've talked a lot of U2 to people at this point.
By the way, thanks to everyone who liked Stained Glass last week.
Yeah.
That was a lot of fun. That was my favorite episode.
Thank you.
And thanks to Doug for coming tonight sure talking
you too with us and thanks to engineer cody sam coding sam for talking billy joel to us
at the hollywood joel wrapping up that three-parter yeah and um you know next week there's going to be
a show we don't want to say exactly what it
oh by the way I do want to thank
I want to thank Therese B.
Witkowski
Therese B. Witkowski for donating
$100 to this show
why do you have so much money
yeah
thanks Therese
you should have spent that money on a microphone
no Therese something special is coming You should have spent that money on a microphone. Yeah, exactly.
No, Therese, something special is coming out to you.
That is going to be all for this episode.
We have a very special episode next week.
But for now, this is Scott.
Are you going to say your name?
This is Scott.
Are you going to say your name?
This is Scott.
And we, speaking for Doug,
hope that you've found what you're looking for!
What you're looking for! I don't need these stupid glasses.
I'd give my life to be
anyone but me.
Yeah.
Anyone but me.
Hey, everyone.
Thanks for listening to today's U2.
What is it called?
You talking U2 to me, which was sponsored in part by our good friends over at Bonobos.
Bonobos, what is it?
A men's apparel company that has an amazing line.
Everything from wash chino shorts, denim, short-sleeved casual shirts, and slim fit dress shirts to suits and blazers.
Go to bonobos.com.
That's B-O-N-O-B-O-S.com
and use the code EDGE
to get 20% off your first purchase.
This has been an Earwolf Media Production.
Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman.
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The wolf dead.
Hey, Queeros.
It's me, Cami Esposito, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Queery. You can sit in on hour-long conversations between me, Cameron Esposito,
and some of the brightest luminaries in the LGBTQ family.
Queery explores individual stories of identity, personality,
and the shifting cultural matrix around gender, sexuality, and civil rights.
Plus, it is fun.
We have had some incredible guests.
Emmy winner Lena Waithe? Yes, definitely.
Congressman Mark Takano? You bet. L Word creator winner Lena Waithe? Yes, definitely. Congressman Mark Takano?
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We definitely have. We've got celebs, people like Trixie Mattel, Evan Rachel Wood,
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I think it's a one-of-a-kind show full of chats you have never heard before.
It's identity, it's community, it's query.
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