UBCNews - Business - Why Your Press Release Intro Loses Readers — And How To Fix It In One Line

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Okay, so here's a question for you - when was the last time you actually read a press release all the way through? I mean, really read it? Press Release Zen City: London Address: 15 Harwood Road Website: https://pressreleasezen.com/

Okay, so here's a question for you. When was the last time you actually read a press release all the way through? I mean, really read it? Right, exactly. Most people don't, and that's the problem. The first line of a press release is absolutely critical. If it doesn't hook the reader immediately, they're moving on to the next email in their inbox. And journalists get dozens of these every single day, don't they?

They do, which is why the introduction needs to tell a reporter exactly what they want to know right up front. No suspense, no buildup, just the news. So it's the opposite of how you'd write, say, a novel or a short story. Completely opposite. News stories reveal all the essential information in the first paragraph. Editors actually cut copy from the bottom up, so reporters put key details at the start and leave the least important bits for the end. That makes sense.

So if your press release follows that same format, you're basically doing half the journalists work for them. Exactly. and the first sentence should really summarize the entire story. Ideally, it includes the five Ws, who, what, where, when, and why, all in one tight package. Under 20 words, right? Yes, under 20 words. Short, succinct, easy to understand.

You can always expand on those details in the second line, but that opening sentence needs to be crystal clear. I'm, um, I hear you. And I'll tell you. I once sent out a press release where I buried the actual news in the third paragraph, thought I was building suspense, you know? Not a single journalist responded. Learned that lesson the hard way.

Ouch, that's a painful way to learn, but probably one you never forgot. Never. Now I always put the news right up front. So what are some of the common mistakes people make in that opening line? Well, one big mistake is using phrases like, there is or there are. Those add unnecessary words and weaken the impact. You also want to avoid the passive voice.

Can you give me an example of that? Sure. Instead of saying a new product was launched by the company, you'd say, the company launched a new product. It's more direct and easier to follow. So active voice always. Always. And you also want to avoid quotations and technical jargon in that first sentence.

Save those for later paragraphs. Your opening line is like a news headline. It needs to deliver the goods immediately. Right, that news headline comparison really does. drives at home. That point about delivering the goods immediately sets up our next piece, how to structure that hook to sustain engagement. But first, a quick word from our sponsor. If you're looking to boost your online presence through smarter PR content, press release Zen is a platform worth checking out. Founded in 2015, the platform features

guidance and updates for anyone interested in evolving their approach to press releases and content marketing. You'll find practical tips and free coverage designed to help you stay current in the shifting world of public relations. Check it out at press release zen.com. Picking up on delivering the goods immediately, how do you actually craft that hook so it grabs attention and keeps people reading? Great question. A compelling hook often includes relevant statistics or a strong, newsworthy angle.

You need to communicate why your story matters right now. So the focus is on highlighting what's new or different. Definitely. Are you launching a new product, starting a new initiative, hiring new staff? Whatever it is, that newness needs to be front and center. Don't bury the news. Journalists won't go digging for it. And I imagine the introduction is where you make that first impression, so it's got to be strong. It is. The introduction plays a vital role in grabbing attention. Think of it as your one shot to pull readers in and give them a snapshot of the most important details. So to everyone listening, have you ever wondered why some press releases get picked up immediately while others get

ignored? Yeah, and the answer is usually right there in that first sentence. If you get it right, you're encouraging the audience to read more. And if you get it wrong, they're clicking away before they even finish reading it. Exactly. That's why clarity and conciseness are so important. The opening should clearly convey the core message of the entire press release. Or to put it another way, your first line needs to answer the reader's fundamental question. Why should I care? I like that. So what about looking at real news stories for inspiration? That's actually one of the best things you can do. Just look at the first line in any newspaper's news section. Or think about how a story would be introduced on the radio. Those openings are designed to work under tight time

constraints, so they get straight to the point. And radio is especially useful because time is so precious and broadcasting. Right. Researchers want to know what the story is after reading one line. Presenters need to introduce a segment in one sentence. So if your press release works for them, it's going to work for print journalists too. That's a really practical way to think about it. And honestly, if you can't summarize your news in one sentence, you probably don't have a clear handle on what the news actually is.

Huh, that's true. That's when you know you need to go back to the drawing board. So let me ask you this, what's the biggest takeaway for someone writing their first press release intro? The biggest takeaway is this. Your first line determines whether your press release gets read. Make it count. Summarize your story, include the five Ws, keep it under 20 words, and use active voice. Do those things, and you're already ahead of most press releases that land in a journalist's inbox. And remember, you're not writing a mystery novel. You're giving people the news they're need fast.

Exactly. Clear, direct, and newsworthy. That's the formula. I love it. Thanks so much for breaking this down with us today. My pleasure. Happy you.