Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 1172 | Jase's Son & Daughter-in-Law Share Baby News Alongside a Story of Loss & Hope

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Jase is deeply impressed as Reed and Brighton open up about facing unimaginable loss, finding renewed purpose, and raising their kids to follow Jesus. Brighton shares how grief reshaped her life and calling, while Reed reflects on growing as a godly husband and father. Al praises their faith and resilience, and Zach emphasizes the importance of discipleship and community in walking this journey together. In this episode: Ephesians 5, verses 25–33; Ephesians 6, verses 10–20 Chapters: 00:00–13:12 Pregnancy Reveal & Kids in Restaurants 13:13–28:00 Brighton’s Story of Grief & Purpose 28:00–38:53 A Tragedy for Reed & Brighton’s Family 38:54–46:25 Community & Social Media Detox 46:26–54:57 Kingdom Vision for Kids — Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? Welcome back to Unashamed. Jay Scores, we got to get started and then he continues into the conversation. I wanted to make my last point. He had to get the last word in. Now we've got to get this thing going. What are we doing here, Al? We're in Nashville.

We're in Nashville. Without headphones, I just realize that. I feel like a fish out of water here, Jay's. I'm not going to lie. And Zach, nice job on the studio. You know, I was tortured here when I worked for the mob. It's like I'm back after all these years. We're in a back room deep in Nashville.

And we brought guests, friends who are actually from Nashville. Introduce our guests. So I have my son, Reed, and his wife, Brighton. Brighton, I didn't realize this until recently. This is your first time to be on a podcast. Yeah, my first time ever. On any podcast? Yeah.

Really? And you're a listener, right? You listen to the number one listener. She is. I have referenced you many times on the podcast. You've elevated yourself. I don't know if you know this. It's going to be a little awkward to one of my favorite humans on the earth.

He loves you more than he loves Reed. All she had to do is listen to his podcast. Feed that ego. I was already on my way there. He knows him so well. No, Reid, it started when, because, And I'm going to confess that, you know, parenting's hard. And you were our firstborn.

And I had a lot of baggage that had infiltrated my system. I'm already making excuses here from my loving dad. And I just, I think the firstborn, I mean, there's a reason I think it's singled out in the Bible. Yeah. And so you're supposed to get two-thirds of the inheritance read, by the way. Just so you know. That's also in a while. But it didn't happen to me, so it made a happen for you.

I'm confessing my sins here. So I was saying despite all that, you know, I was, because Reeb was pretty much a live wire. And I think that does come with being the firstborn. Can we agree with that? I think so. But something just incredible happened. When you met this woman who is beside you, you just became a better human being. I agree with that.

So that was where I first fell in love with you, Brighton, because I thought there's something about this woman that is making our son a better human being. And Missy was on board with that. So that's a true statement. Would you agree with that? I agree. Yeah.

Yeah, I would say we both sanctify each other a lot. Yeah. And they've had your grandchildren. That's a big deal. I mean, that becomes the most important. important deal, at some point in their relationship, a baby factory began. How many are you up to now? Tell the audience.

Yeah, we have a three and a half year old, two and a half, a 13-month-old, and then I'm pregnant with our fourth. Wow. That's breaking news. Yeah, break-y news. I don't think I knew that. Yeah, yeah. I'm 11 weeks, so still pretty.

Yeah. Yeah, so we're just rolling. Yeah, we're rolling. We're kind of in a food coma today. I do have to say that because last night we had a birthday celebration. We celebrated Brighton's birthday. Happy birthday again. Yeah, thank you.

We celebrated Mia's birthday, which was a couple weeks ago, but she's in Nashville, so we hadn't officially done that. And then Cole's fiancé, it's her birthday. So we gathered at a restaurant that was quite expensive, re-picked it since I was buying. Actually, I did not. Mom just booked it, and I told dad. I said, okay.

Yeah. This restaurant is two things. It is the most expensive dinner I've ever paid for when I ate here. And it is, which is funny because it was actually for my birthday a few months ago. And it was like, Brighton's like, let's go to this restaurant. It's awesome. So then I'm sitting there like, happy birthday to me. I got to pay $600 for dinner.

That's great. But I said it was also the best meal I've ever had. Where was it? It's bourbon steak. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. But what I didn't like about it did with me, no. It was fantastic.

But it's like you have to get on an elevator and go 34 stories up to eat at this restaurant. I'm kind of claustrophobic, and I never looked out of window. So it's like a view of the city kind of elevator? Oh, yeah. It's awesome. I looked straight down. Not that I'm scared of dying. It's just when I get way high, I feel weird.

I don't like that feeling. But it was fantastic. And so I couldn't be more full at the end. They were like, how about desserts? And I was like, no, I think we're good. But they're like, well, you know, just at least take a look at the menu. And we all said the same thing. Their first choice was warm bignets.

I mean, we're from Louisiana. And the food was so spectacular. I thought, you're actually going to try to reproduce the bignets of Louisiana? I was like, send us some of those. they were fantastic and I just couldn't stop at one and that's why it all got weird as far as too much food consumed

but it was I thought it was a great it was a great evening together so then we all got back in the elevator and there was it was our whole group with our kids and everything and then there was like three other couples and then some other people I mean we were slammed in this elevator like just shoulder to shoulder

and dad starts talking and he's like oh we're fixing a fight I know what everybody had to eat. I did. Your mom, crickets. They weren't playing. They didn't think it was funny. No, they did not think it was funny.

Missy rebuked me for that later in the car. She's like, babe, why do you have to have awkward conversations with people? And I went to Jesus. I went to Jesus. I said he had conversations. I was trying to break the ice. You never know where those conversations will lead. But I'm like that guy.

there's some commercials out right now. I forgot what the commercials are. I don't want to give them an advertisement here. But it's like don't turn into your parents, which I find those commercials funny. But I realized I'm that guy. I'm the guy. When the stuff they're doing to make fun of makes sense to you, that's me.

I'm like, I do that. Yeah, I walk into a store. I watch my trash cans. Does that make me a terrible person? It's like at the gas station, if I'm there and everybody's pumping gas, I can't embrace that silence. I have to say something. I can't just all be in my world, and I did that in the elevator.

I think it's because I'm kind of nervous. I'm claustrophobic, so I just start talking. But no one was responding to your point. The whole reason I bought that up is because it hit me last night. Now, we had those three kids, three, two, and one. They were unnoticeable for three hours. We were in that restaurant for three hours. And they behave themselves.

You did not notice they were there. They also had a lot of French fries, though, too. Well, that is true. But Brighton, I just. And that's not normal anymore. Because we were just in Oregon. And every restaurant we went into, there were kids out of control at every restaurant. And it was like, and the parents were just like, that's what they do.

It was like, there was no even trying to like tamp it down. And so like everybody's like, look. each other like man you know this is terrible but but nobody does anything and they're just like let them go and it was just and at least in our level we have grandkids i love them it's like you know a kid's gonna every once in a while but this is just like complete we're not functioning in in a proper society or just we're like we're at the daycare well you can't spank kids anymore but my mom had a little technique uh you can't don't tell her you're not supposed to my mom had a technique though that was that we've used. I probably shouldn't say this because it's going to be on everybody with

what I'm doing now. It's a Vulcan death grip. You guys remember that? Oh, I've used it many times. Yeah. You get that. You know, they do. Yeah. You get, you just get that thumb. That's a live longer and prosper. That's not the grip. It's right on the shoulder right here. But the key is is your face has to never change. You have to look very gentle. Now, come on, sweetie. It's time to move along. But what you're doing with the thumb is you're just, I mean, you're pressing that thumb and that pressure point and they're just like, nobody knows what you're doing.

Or the pinch. Or the pinch. The pinch is good. Behind the arm, behind the leg. I mean, we don't do that. I just heard of people.

Yeah, I just heard of people doing that. We do all that. Things were different in our childhood, huh, Al? Because they, my parents, they would do public thumpings.

Mommy, mom had a thick. You used to thump me about everything. I'm a thumper. Mom had a thick wedding ring and she'd just give you one of them waxed.

When she turned around like your class right? Get it like a boom. Just boom. Just right. And leave a little wealth. We turned out fine. It hurts. I mean,

look how normal we're. Well, it's better than today. Like what parents are doing today, you know? Or giving the devices. That's what I'm saying just nothing like, yeah. Not even like correction.

We're in a public place there full of people. Yeah. At least try to, you know. Well, that's what I was good. Corral. There's nothing you can do about it there.

Right. When you get out to a restaurant and your kids going crazy, there's literally nothing you can do because you don't. you don't have a foundation of respect from your kid. And they don't know. The kid doesn't know that they don't respect you. They're just like, well, what are you talking about?

I'm going to do what I want, you know? They were three, two, and one. They sat there. No one noticed. When I did, because it was your birthday. So we were in Lulu, Missy, they call her Lulu. She was on the end because she wanted to take care of any dirty diapers and all. Because it was, we didn't want you to have to deal with that.

But I did the woman waitress because we had two. a waiter and a waitress. I said, look, I see these fries coming around. This is before we've ordered or anything. I said, we're going to need a tray of those immediately. Because I was thinking. You want to set them up for success, too. Yeah.

And she was like, oh, that comes with the table. I was like, I know, but we have three kids there. I want to occupy them as soon as possible. That same woman three hours later whispered in my ear, I have never seen three kids have that good of behavior. in this restaurant. I mean, so I wanted to tell you that. I saved that for this moment.

Yeah. Which is why you're here. Did pee his pants. Yeah, he did. It's all right. No diaper, no nothing. Just didn't say anything. Well, I mean, I've done that too,

really. But that's my point. Look, if you have a kid that does that and then doesn't even say anything, it's all part of it, man. Well, I kind of respect a man who didn't want to. to disrupt the party.

After he did it, he leaned over, he says, I need to go potty. And I looked down and I said, but you already went potty. And he was like, just looking at it. I'm not sure what to do here. How do you not forgive a kid for that, really? So that's why you're here, Brighton. You seem to make people better. So we want to see how that's happening.

And I've said this. your parents who gave you your name, they just, they hit it. Yeah, thank you. Well, you know, actually a lot of it started with Unashamed. I feel like it was kind of already happening in my heart, but I started listening to Unashamed when Reed went on a duck hunting trip. And my mom was supposed to come in town and help me with all three kids. I think Francis was four months old.

So it was my first time being by myself with all three. So I was a little bit nervous, you know, a full week. And she called me the day of and said she got sick, so she wasn't going to come. And I was like, all right, well, I'm going to have to buck up here a whole week by myself. And Jace had been talking to me some about what he was studying. And I feel like every time that he would talk to me, I was like, I get it, but I'm not really seeing what you're saying. You know, like I didn't get the excitement of it. Like, I've been a believer for my whole life.

I was saved when I was probably 10 or 12. But that week, I was like, I'm just going to listen to the podcast. And I could not stop listening to it once I started. I just never heard anyone teach the Bible in this way. And I like to describe it as, at Phil's funeral, you said, may we never lose the thrill of the gospel like Phil had? And I feel like since I started listening to Unashamed, I've had that thrill about the Word of God.

And it completely changes the way that I mother and parent every day because instead of, you know, during nap time, my kids take three-hour naps every day or rest. I'm just in the word. And listening to Unashamed, taking notes. That whole week I also listen to all of the Not Yet Now podcast to give you a little plug there. Is that? Yeah, I think you had like 10 episodes out at the time, and I just devoured the whole thing. Yeah.

And it's really helped our relationship because you started asking me questions as, you know, via text. Yeah, well, it's like the perfect situation for me because I don't have to bother you all the time because I can just open my phone and listen to you, but then I can ask follow-up questions. What's been like the, like what for you was like this is, was there like a thing that was dead? different that you were like, I haven't seen this. Oh, yeah. Like, just, you guys talking about, like, the kingdom and the, like, us being the temple. But I think the kingdom aspect of it is, like, oh, I'm not just sitting here, like, waiting till I die.

And I know y'all talk about this a lot, but it's like I really related to that. Like, I kind of had this idea that I'm just sitting here, like, holding on, trying to not sin, like, grinding it out. And we had just found a new church. like a year before, two years before, that totally changed our lives with just community, older couples, disciplining us so well. And I'd really had like a big realization of like I'm a sinner, even though I'd been saved since I was like 10 or 12, like I said, grew up in the church, but never had a real

understanding of like, I guess the best way to put it is I viewed my life that like, I am the main star. And God is here on my shoulder helping me out kind of. Like, you know, the little angel and like the devil. Yeah. And coming to this church, they really showed me that like, wow, I am not the main character at all here. Like I was elevating myself way too much, which was just so much selfishness. Yeah.

And I mean, that's just a whole story too of the beginning of our marriage. not to like go down too many rabbit holes but that's all right I was going to say that is kind of my whole life is kind of the rabbit hole we're going to change the name of the rabbit hole if I had a chance to go back six years ago

if we'd have known this would have been called the rabbit hole that's actually my favorite part of the podcast I think that's the best stuff but what I'm calling a rabbit hole is I'm saying there are some theme lines that go from Genesis to Revelation

and I'm so I'm kind of being funny with that because somebody in a meet and greet a couple weeks ago said hey too many rabbit holes and I said hey the rabbit holes some of them are theme lines of the entire Bible I'm saying once you see it then you see that theme going through so that's kind of what I meant by that's how you understand it like that's what y'all's rabbit holes have helped me understand the Bible so much more. Yeah. But it's basically what theology is, you know, is trying to, the theology is the study of the entire

Bible as one book, you know, so I mean, I agree. Yeah. I mean. Well, if you're going to, and if you're going to start from the beginning of human history and then cross over everything from the political aspects of the Old Testament, all that history, everything was there, and somehow then get to this point of Messiah coming. into earth and the kingdom coming out of that. I mean, there's a lot of rabbit hole potential there.

We're talking about a lot, you know, to discover. But it's not, it's not beyond our reach. That's the beauty of it. And once you get into that, it's beautiful and it's a good thing. All right, so back to your rabbit hole, which you were, when you first got married, you were about to say. Yeah. That's how we hijack.

So many of our problems in our marriage in the beginning was just, I mean, I was just so selfish and just didn't know how to be. a biblical wife and we were also so young. I'm so thankful. I think that it was, I see so much of the Lord's kindness and us marrying young and we weren't as, I guess, tampered, you know, getting married so young. Like, we really grew up together. But we got married. We got married and then how many months later, how many months later? Like two months later, we moved here? One month. And we didn't. And then the month. after that. We didn't know anybody. We didn't, we, we knew no one. I mean, I knew, I knew,

I had lived here before. I knew a couple of people that, I mean, I lived in a couple basements, you know, and stuff like, it just, we, we, we didn't have any community. We didn't have any, and we, I mean, we searched for community for, I mean, years. And, and when your, when your dad passed away, I mean, we kind of, it was just, we went through so much in a very short amount of time after we got married. And we kind of regressed, no, we definitely regressed in our faith. And we were just kind of like, well, you know, we're, however we wanted to describe, but we were mad at God or we were, you know, we just, we just didn't care, essentially,

is the, is the truth of it. But I think moving here, knowing no one, and it was just me and you, and we just had to figure, I mean, we had to figure everything out. But it was very hard. We had to figure out how to make money. We had to figure out where to live. I mean, we just, we had to figure out how to love each other and how to, what, what is biblical marriage, you know, what is a union?

We were kind of learning backwards too. So the month after we got married, my dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And then for the next year, he's doing, having big surgeries, having treatments. And then a year later, he passed away. So it's like that whole first year of marriage, I feel like we were just kind of surviving. Like you're not really, it didn't feel like we really started our marriage because I was so focused on that. I was also in nursing school at the time. And then when he died, they were like, a lot of my teachers were like, I think you should drop out like or just take the semester off.

You know, because he passed away in January, which was like the start of the semester. And I was like, I'm not, what am I going to do? sit home and just like cry all day like I'm not going to do that I'd rather just be in school like he wanted me to finish and he was very big on like me having a career and which is funny because now I'm a stay-at-home mom and he would but you're a very educated mom yeah yeah and you know how to nurse yeah and it's a helpful information yeah so I finished nursing school but it was I feel like that that started us down kind of a dark path to after my dad because it was really hard for me to, I didn't believe that God was good.

Like I believed in God and believed in Jesus and all the things, but I struggled so much with, I remember sitting in our church and that we were going to at the time. It was a really big church. And no one knew that my dad had died. And they were singing a good, good father. And I was like, I just don't believe in these lyrics. And I remember leaving, and I don't think we went back to church for a year after that. And maybe even longer.

But it was also COVID, too, so it was kind of a good excuse. Like, it's like, well, no one's going. Yeah. So just a super spiritually dry season. I started working in the ER as a nurse. And that was just very void of any light. super dark season to being there. And I would say that this verse is like something I really relate to now, especially,

because I feel like it's kind of like a contrast of me then and now. But Ephesion 6, which has been coming up a lot with Charlie Kirk, but for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers' authorities, against the dark, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. And then it goes on talking about the armor of God. And when I was working in the ER, I did not have the armor of God.

I was just letting everything, like, that was coming at me, affect me and seep in. And I'd already kind of come from a background of, like, no real foundation of, not the Bible, but, like, theology, I guess. So everything was kind of okay and permissible in my head. Like as long as you believe in Jesus, it's fine. Or like you kind of talk about him. It doesn't really matter like the way you live your life.

Like I'm sure that that person's still a Christian too. And I was just nice working as a nurse. And so I feel like people thought that like, oh, they knew I was a Christian, which is so funny. Because I actually had like the worst potty mouth. At the time, too. Really? Yes. Did you know that read?

Did she do that with you? I'm confessing. Yeah. That actually shocks me. I don't really. Yeah. I was somebody just recently that the, the worst curse, cursors, I guess, the worst people that curse are nurses in the ER. Someone just told me that last week.

I mean, the language, even that people would say around patients, you know, like, I'm like, when I first started, I was like, you're saying this in front of like, or a doctor. You know, like they're saying it right there. And you just, I mean, I worked there for three years. Like, you just kind of let it become the norm, you know, which is so sad. But it's like I didn't have the intensity of the day to day. I mean, you're seeing a lot of horrible things too. And like you kind of get numb to that. And I think a big part of it too is I became very numb to like people aren't good either.

You just get really cynical. Yeah, super cynical. Well, and I mean, you're kind of being abused in a way. You know, by patients, by other staff members, too. You know, and like, you kind of have to prove yourself. And so then when I got pregnant with Maris, I was like, oh, I'm going to be done because this is just, I'm not having a good time anyways. And, like, I wasn't being a good wife at home either. Had a lot of, like, resentments, I think, just, like, building up towards Reed that weren't even just, like, not for any reason that he,

he was doing, but just not like having any biblical foundation, you know, not letting things go like little fights that we would have and stuff. And so it just kind of made sense for me to stay at home. I mean, I'm not making that much as a nurse. So I'm not going to pay for daycare, but I'd never see myself being a stay-at-home mom. I always saw it, which is wild to say now, because I feel like that's like my biggest passion in the world. And now, so I, yeah, we were just like, oh, I'm definitely going to quit. And I went on materially leave at 36 weeks. I was like, maybe I'll go back for like a little bit.

They offered me a PRN job whenever I quit, which you make a lot more money when you work PRN. And so I went back for like two shifts. And then I was like, no, this is not it. And yeah, from that point, I feel like the Lord just really worked on my heart in a lot of different ways, not even from really me studying the Bible then because I wasn't. But it's funny seeing ways that weren't even, like people who weren't even believers or Christians were like, God can just use anything to change your heart

and to soften it. And I think Missy had a big part in that too. She really encouraged me that I was doing the right thing, being a stay-at-home mom and really rallied behind me. And I think it just made me feel valued because I had never seen the value in a stay-at-home mom, my dad, my whole life had really pushed on me. Like, you have to either be a doctor or a lawyer,

and you're nothing if you're not that. And then when I said I was going to be a nurse, he was, like, mad at me for a couple months. And then he got over it, and I think he was, like, fine that I was going to be a nurse. He was happy when I graduated nursing school. But, yeah, I don't know. He told him when I was sitting on the bench outside of an outback,

when I asked him to, if I could marry his daughter, and he said, how are you going to make money? And I said, I'm going to be a musician. Ooh. He's actually extremely calm. He's one of the most surprising. I know. Did he say, yeah?

Because, you know, our whole generation above you, everybody said no, really. I didn't even ask because I knew the answer. He said, yeah. I think he really did. He loved her so much that he just thought, I mean, no work it out, I guess. I'm not sure. But, I mean, I could tell he wasn't happy about it. Yeah.

So. Yeah. And let's see. We had, I mean, I had Maris and David back to back. So they were 14 months apart. And that was just like a whirlwind. You don't really have time to think about anything. I think I kind of blacked out during that time period, too. Like, I don't remember much of David as a baby.

But it was so fun. I wouldn't have it any other way. And I think. it's like just seeing the Lord's faithfulness contrasting like my dad passing away to then fast forward almost two years ago now I wasn't pregnant with Francis yet and we're just at home and I get a call for my brother and my niece and nephew who were I think eight and six at the time or nine and seven had died in a car accident and I mean just tall totally rocked our world.

Yeah, y'all were extremely close to them. Yeah, very close. And, like, I mean, not just to my brother, but my sister-in-law is, like, my sister, basically. I've known her since I was so little, like, seven or something. I don't know. She's always been a part of my life. And my one nephew survived the car accidents. They had three kids.

And just the most, like, I mean, you can't even wrap her head around what that would be like as a parent. So, yeah, we went down to Louisiana immediately. There was a lot of, like, I see the Lord so much in that whole week because Missy was already in Nashville. And we, neither one of us could drive. And, like, we had Maris and David, too. So we didn't want to risk, like, us just being too shaken up. And Missy drove us there.

The kids were perfect. The whole drive there. I was just thinking about that this morning when I was thinking about talking about this, like, how much the Lord just provided. Cole came that week, too, and he drove your car down so we would have a car. And Missy and Jays took care of our kids the whole week,

which I think you've, like, talked about a little bit. And friends that we, friends that we had prayed for for years and couldn't find a church. I mean, and this is, this is, we really are down a rabbit hole now. But we were like, all of our family lives in Louisiana. We've lived here for seven years. We can't find a church. We can't find a community.

Every friend we have, they go back to their family. You know, we'll have a couple friends. We're good friends with them and it's like, hey, all our family lives in, you know, wherever. And they're moving back and we just, we can't, we can't figure this out. Let's just move back to Louisiana. We had just finished our house.

And so we put our house on the market, brand new house, awesome, awesome property. And we had all kinds of showings for months and never sold in the hottest market in Nashville's history. You're like, what is going on here? I can't sell the market for six months. We never had one offer. And we're like, what is going on? And Brighton had just had David.

She goes to a park and this girl's like, wow, you're brave. You know, you have like a two-week old at a park. She'd never been to the park before. Drove 30 minutes from our house because this park had this particular like rubberized ground or something. It had a fence all the way around. weird thing. So I didn't have to worry about the kids as much. And gets the talk and gets invited to this couple's church.

And within three months of that, we had found our best friends in the world, an amazing church. Then this happens. And, you know, some of those friends, they immediately drove down to Louisiana, came to the funeral. A couple kept our dogs. Yeah. The pastor of that church and his wife, who's now one of our closest friends, they stayed at

our house for however long, two weeks. And a lot of the older couples, we just met them. Had started disciplining us really well before that, which, like, looking back for sure prepared our hearts for what was fixing to happen. And for the support when we got back, because when we went down there, it was like, me and Reed are just pouring everything we have out. Like, we don't really have a lot of time to grieve. I feel like we didn't really start grieving until we got back, because it was,

was like survival mode, you know. And you were a support system for people there, yeah. Yeah, I was like, I would say me and Reed were a big support for my brother and his wife. She was burned pretty bad from the accident. And so I helped take care of her a lot that week, like bathing her, making sure like she had all her medicine, dressing her wounds, which I say that week I was like, maybe this is the only reason that God made me a nurse was just for this week. And if that was it, well, and you're not even telling the detail. I mean, it was like the most horrific circumstance

that you could ever imagine losing your children. Yes. It's pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen to watch your, to someone. Yeah, to watch your kids die. I mean, it's horrible. Reed slept with Hayes, my nephew, that whole week. So it was like we were kind of just tag teaming. I I slept with my brother every night because my, neither one of them wanted to be alone, but my sister-in-law couldn't be in the bed since she was so burned. And it was amazing seeing, like, just God's people come together for them. And in every way, you know, and they were supporting me because I was supporting my brother and sister-in-law. And, I mean, Reed helped build, or what did you do, dig the,

footers for the mausoleum which is the south Louisiana like a burial site you know it really showed the importance of of community because I mean that I guess that would be an encouragement that I have for people is if you if you feel like you don't have a community do whatever you got to do to go out and find one yeah because I mean that whole two week span we were down there I mean there was never less than they were never alone and that house every single day you know just I mean just everyone in that which they live in a small town and her brother is the only surgeon within however many miles you know so he knew everybody I mean her her dad was a family doctor in the same town and he used to tell me when when the show

started he'd say I'm just as famous as your dad I'm like oh okay and he's like I can't go to Walmart either you know and look at this look at his circle he was yeah he was he was and so it just which you know and that that's a specific circumstance but I mean they just had the community. I mean, still the community has just rallied around them. And I mean, it really does show the importance of having people around you that care for you, you know. And if you don't have that, go find it because you can. You can find that.

It took you guys a while, but you found, I mean, I remember you guys stay with us one weekend. And I guess it was maybe right before. It was pretty close to what you found in the community that you're in now. but I remember y'all saying we've been here for, I guess, seven years, and we just cannot find a church. We just cannot find a church. And there's literally a church on every corner. I know.

It's a little harder than you think. Yeah. Yeah, well, Nashville's very transient to your point earlier. So it is kind of a transient city. I mean, I think, but I think that it is something that you have to prioritize and you may have to be long suffering in it. But I don't, yeah, I don't think I could do life. without other people speaking into me and vice versa, and even my kids, and having that

multi-generational influence. I love that you mentioned that you have older couples that you're submitting yourself to discipleship. That's another thing, too. Like, discipleship's a huge part of why God gave us the church, and we want the autonomous experience to go in and consume the worship, but really the call of the church is to enter into these discipleship relationships, or people will walk with us and be long-suffering with us, and I think you see it most in, well, and, you know, and, you know,

in times of rejoicing, like in weddings, and then in times of tragedy, right? When you're faced with something really hard, you get to experience that. Well, that's what I was going to say from my perspective, I mean, to kind of use that C.S. Lewis quote, which has been going around, I guess, a lot from the Charlie Kirk situation where it says, you know, God whispers in our pleasures, but in our pain, he uses a megaphone to awaken a deaf world. It's something like that. I'm paraphrasing. But because I saw you, I mean, y'all do this for your brother.

And, I mean, it went on for days. And it was just such a, everyone had stopped life. Even the people, you know, Missy and I, and we're trickled down from your family. We're keeping your kids and they're asking all these hard questions, which is, was difficult. I can't imagine the conversations y'all are having there. But then all of a sudden I get the word. that you're going to do you're going to speak on behalf of the family for the funeral i was like what but from my perspective because i just thought i don't think she realizes what i didn't know how

the process where you volunteered to do that but i thought i don't think she realizes i don't know if she's going to be able to do that and so but i will have to say i mean that was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I was super proud of you because you just marched up there. And I thought she's actually walked. She is going to attempt to do this. He can't think they were going to turn back. I just thought.

Everyone was like, do not get up there. Like, even the pastor of their church was like, I've never seen anyone be able to stay up there during a child's funeral, which I'm not saying that, like, to my credit. It was like an out-of-body experience. which I think was totally the Holy Spirit. Oh, that's what I was going to say. Like we had the whole visitation before that.

And it's like a feeling I'll never forget. I wasn't even, you couldn't make me cry that day, which is like the saddest, you know, day you would think. But I think it was just like the Lord kind of put a shield around me and gave me strength because I just, it was so. close to me. And I had so many, like, deep conversations my sister-in-law with, like, taking care of her that week. And her faith was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Like, so many people kept coming up to me being like, you need to be ready. Like, she's going to break down. She's going to, she's going to, she's going to crack.

There's no way. And she never did. Like, even to this day, like, she's definitely, as you can imagine, has very difficult times. But like the Lord has carried her through this and her faith and the Lord has been amazing. Just the most positive person and always like she sees the good that's come out of this and the good in that she believes that God is good, which has in. She does so many things in their name. Definitely. And we've been to several of those with y'all that are, it started off kind of small. But I mean, this last thing, it was like a solid. golf ball game for special needs kids in their honor.

And I mean, everybody, I don't know if y'all knew this because y'all are a little closer to the action. Everybody there, and it was a large group of people. I mean, there's 20,000 people there. Tears were just streaming down my face immediately. I just thought, what a thing to do in the face of such tragedy. And now we're pretty far from that happening. Yeah. She's just still at it.

I know. I just kept thinking, like, if that was my babies, I would want someone to say something, like about them, you know, if it was their funeral. Like, I know that it's so hard, but it's 10, 15 minutes. And I think it really, it just brought comfort, I think, to, to, it's not just like someone saying that didn't really know them. And I didn't make it long or anything, but. Oh, it was spectacular.

And I just kept thinking. as a mother, like somebody has to. And I was waiting the whole week thinking someone's going to, surely, like someone else is going to step up, like one of my other brothers. And yeah, then when I, it was getting closer, I was like, you're going to say something right now. Oh, no, I'm not going to say anything. Okay, well, I'm looking around here and it's looking like it's me. You were the one. So you came out of that. Was that like for you, a kind of a breaking of the veneer, that experience, or were you already kind of in your journey? Yeah, I think I was definitely already breaking a little bit.

And I think finding our community going to our new church. But that really, like, rocked my world. It made me just, like, I think, question, like, my day-to-day, like, what direction am I heading here as a mom? And Casey, my sister-in-law, like, said, like, a few things. I think it just puts things in perspective, you know. And I remember her saying to me one night, I did everything right, like by the book that you're supposed to.

Like, I gave my kids, like, the healthiest foods. Like, I taught them all the things. I protected them as much as I could. I, you know, nurse them as long as I could. Like, all these things as a mom, you worry about, like, trying to just make your kids have the best life. And I still couldn't control any of it, you know? Like, ultimately, there are the lords. And that changed so much of the way that I parent.

because I feel like I'm just not as worried about those things that I can't control and things that the world can whisper in your ear and say that you need to do this, you need to do that as a mom, or like even good things, like having my house look clean, having my kids look perfect and like good things like my kids, you know, not interrupting me when I talk and having good manners. Like those are good things, but they can become really legalistic. And, like, selfish, you know? I don't want to parent out of, like, what do other people?

Think of me, by the way my kids behave. I want to go after their heart. I think me and Reid have tried really hard to, like, our goal here is to shepherd their heart and to point them to Jesus and show, like, I'm trying to expose their sin here. I'm not just correcting bad behavior because I don't want them to do that. And I want them. There's a jicism in there that we have. You told me this since I used to cry when I struck out when I was, you know, seven years old. And then I tell her all the time.

I mean, it's something that we live by is you can only worry about the things in your control. Yeah. If something's out of your control, you can't worry about it at all. And you've told me that, I mean, consistently when I was a kid, you know, but it's something that you have said for, I mean, 25 years now to me. Because you walk that line, you know, in Ephesians, you tell me, Ephesians 6, there's that line that he says, do not exasperate is the way the NIB puts at your children. There's a point where you can push them so far.

I mean, you do that job of discipline, but you also realize they're growing into this adult human one day that you still want to have a close relationship with. And if you go too far, sometimes that, won't happen. And I always say, you want to do big, I love the way you put it, you want to teach them how to be a son or daughter of the Almighty, because then they'll be able to be ready for whatever happens, because stuff's going to happen. Yeah. It's interesting me as an uncle to you guys just to watch, and I'm the same with my own children now, when you start reaching that maturity,

those spiritual and even in the family. And I mentioned this when Reed, you know, after dad crossed over. I just saw it, you know, just like the oldest, you know, grandson steps into a role. And I just saw it happen. And it was just like a wonderful, beautiful thing. And I saw the same with Anna, you know, the oldest granddaughter, just step in with, with mom and just do what needs to be done. And so it really is why we spent the time we did trying to raise you guys to then be that, you know, because then you start taking care of both ends. You got your children, but you also have aging grandparents, aging parents, Jason, and we don't like to admit. And we don't like to it but we're getting well i was just going to say you brought up ephesian 6 but that's right after he went

through Ephesians 5 talking about the marriage relationship which is all the struggles you you were depicting in the early years and then parenting and then he's like this is a spiritual war yeah yeah and uh what moved me we're kind of i guess the theme line of this is i'm just thinking back to those moments when you did step up there i thought this woman's got a hard for the Lord. Because that was the most selfless act that a person could possibly do. You got nothing out of that. The only thing that could happen would be bad is if you say something stupid. Or fall apart. Yeah. And I just thought, this is incredible. God uses people like that. That's what I kept. That's why I was so impressed by that. So then I don't know why I was shocked when you sent

me that text about you said i've been listening unashamed and you know i have some question i was like well what led you to that because i was thinking did something happen you know how does a person listen to a podcast about the bible i don't know if you remember the exact phraseology but it moved me to tears because you were like well my kids i want to make sure i can pour into them because you were depicting this kind of like what i'm said about the ephesians five this this is you You know, when people say God didn't give us a manual for marriage or, or there's no manual, people say there's no manual for parenting. And I'm like, well, the Bible's a pretty good manual.

It is the manual. I think, like, too, the enemy wants to, the best thing he can do is keep us distracted. And I think that that's kind of where I was. Like, I was spending a lot of time on my phone, a lot of time just, like, comparing myself. And just being so distracted. every day. Like social media. That's a big.

That's, yeah. Especially for moms, it's like just a big trap. And wishing like you have something else that someone else has or, yeah, just comparing yourself, like not being satisfied.

I think about Psalm 90 a lot. That's like the only thing that can satisfy us is the Lord. Truly. I feel like over the last year, I've really experienced that because nothing was ever satisfying me. I can't even like even good things like my husband and my children like I remember watching my kids play and Sitting there and picking up my phone like because just watching them play wasn't enough like I needed to get on my phone to feel Satisfaction and now I mean it's I think it's always going to be a struggle just in this time that we live in

But like I am just during nap time I said that because it's like such a it's three hours of my day for the most part like my kids are really good sleepers and um i only read my bible now i won't even i try to not even pick up my phone and i encourage a lot of moms to do that and it will change your life yeah but it is a practice it's a spiritual discipline that you have to it takes a while it's basically like when your body has been um conditioned to have that dopaminergic release it's a deep It's a dopamine detox. You have to go through that. It kind of goes back to the, hey, you can only worry about things under your control.

We were not, we weren't built to experience the population of Earth's bad stories, you know? Yeah. It just, we weren't. And so it's like, none of that is in your control. Don't worry about that. I've been so mad the last 48 hours about this kid who got his spine hurt in a football accent because another player jumped on top of him and somewhere across the country. I'm like, why am I so? I have nothing to do with that.

But yeah, I saw that story and it's like set in my crawl and I'm like. Totally. It affects you. That was what I was finding too. It's like even when I wasn't on it, I was thinking about all the things that I was seeing on it. And I'm like, this is, I'm in this cycle that I can't break. Like, I am just spiraling and spiraling and spiraling. And social media is the new ER.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like you can fill anything in that gap. And the enemy is going to use whatever to do that to destroy. your family because that will like over time you know if I'm not being intentional and teaching my kids is and I think it's like little choices every day of what I'm teaching. Sounds like Jason Wright is here.

Speaking of a ER. And that's perfect timing because we're out of time. That was a fantastic discussion. I really was. Thank you. Thank you so much because it's a great insight to the listeners too because there's a lot of where people that listen are you guys age, obviously you're one of those, our number one listening. But the things you spoke into that will be well received and very good.

So love you guys. Yeah, thank you for having us. Thanks for sharing. I didn't know y'all were just going to bear it all. They did. I love it. Thanks for listening to The Unashamed podcast. Help us out by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcast.

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