Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 1195 | Jase Officiates His Son’s Wedding & Miss Kay’s Blessing to the Newlyweds Moves Jase to Tears

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Jase steps into one of the most personal moments of his life: officiating his youngest son Cole’s wedding. He opens the ceremony with a risky joke before laying out God’s blueprint for an abundant life and a marriage rooted in Jesus. Miss Kay’s handwritten message to the newlyweds leaves the family in tears, and quoting Phil’s classic line about marriage has the guests cracking up. Al and Zach how God’s design for marriage transforms families for generations. In this episode: Genesis 1; Genesis 2, verse 24; Ephesians 5; Ephesians 6; First Corinthians 7, verse 28; Proverbs 22, verse 6 Chapters: 00:00-08:15 Jase marries off another son 08:15-13:29 The bridal party drill sergeant13:30-18:48 Jase runs the wedding gauntlet 18:39-29:12 A risky ceremony joke pays off 29:13-32:22 Phil & Miss Kay’s message to their newlywed grandkids 32:23-40:04 How to raise godly children 40:05-46:04 Jase wasn’t crying, he had something in his eye 46:05-50:20 Talk about Jesus to your kids 50:21-55:41 Wedding night jokes — Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? So, Jace, we're back on Unashamed. I feel like I'm back in the studio. You and I just, we both hit town yesterday. It's like, but we're heading out again soon. It's like we're in, we're gone, we're somewhere. You had a wedding. Oh. I saw pictures of the wedding. Zach, you were there.

I was there. I was there. That was the most shocking development when I looked up and saw Zach. Of course, I had been there. Yeah. I don't know why he was shocked. Maybe it's because when he comes by you, he just blows the horn on the way. How did you get an invitation to this thing?

What was the, I mean, what was the issue? I figure if you see a man four or five days a week, the equivalent of that, he would say, oh, yeah, I'll see you there. No. Nothing. He just, he wanted to leave you hanging. Well, what he was doing is leaving his options open, Jays, because I know how Zach is. If a better offer had come along, he would have been.

And like, I had to. That's not true. I had to go to LA. I actually, no, I was in outside of Austin, Texas at a men's retreat. I left early. I literally got up at 2.30 in the morning. Drove back to Austin. Got on a 5 a.m. flight to get to Birmingham.

No, I made the sacrifice. And got to see old Cole man get married to a beautiful woman. That was a beautiful wedding. I hated. It's the first one I missed of any of my nephews and nieces. And I told, I call Cole as soon as. they had set their date and I said, go, man, I can't, if there was any other event, but this one, I might even see if they could move it or something, but this was the one,

Zach, we missed last year because of the hurricane. Yeah. This first event we've ever missed. And we couldn't even tell them till day of. And so one of the guys on their board had to do his testimony, which turned out great. I mean, the Holy Spirit took over as it turned out to be a great thing. But it was like, I have to do this event. If I have to walk back to North Carolina, I'm doing this.

event. So I missed it, unfortunately. Well, it paid off for me. How did Chase do that? Let me ask you since, because it's hard for to self, what would you call it? It's hard to brag on yourself. And, well, I actually, he did. It was really good. In fact, I told him afterwards, I said, that one right there, from now on, whenever I do a wedding, I will employ something he did that I thought was really good. So he started. That kind of made my day on that because he, well, there was him and there was a elderly

woman from the other side of our new family. Yeah. That caught some of the theological foundation. Because it was, it did not. Did the podcast fuel some of your thinking? Is that where it's, oh, no. It just, you know, it was a whirlwind. When you, you know how I feel about doing weddings out.

I know you love them. Well, I do love them, but performing the wedding, especially for my family, I'd rather just be a dad and sit there. And so it's a hard role because you're called upon to do something specific, but at the same time, you don't want to overshadow the couple. So it's a difficult role from a speaking standpoint. It's not easy. We've all done it because you're kind of, you know, for me, I used to just be, in some case, is an efficient like i didn't even know the people that well so but but you know you had a role that was part of the part of the deal here uh you know cold don't say a whole lot yeah and uh i kept pushing for

a meeting before the wedding like they asked me and or cole asked me and i was like well i'm gonna need to hear that that question from your future wife because he's like dad will you do my wedding and he said oh yeah we made this decision together I said but still I don't know her very well we're getting to know each other so I didn't hear that question

until the day before the way so at that point I had no nothing prepared we drove over there and I so you were still waiting on the first conversation I wasn't bluffing I think he thought I was I mean I was

headed that direction. Well, y'all had a little game of chicken going on there. I was like, I need to hear it because I just thought, I don't know what the ex. Were you prepared to just go up and just to not do it at the last second? Who was going to say? I had the vowels and the I do, but I just thought, I'm going to need to hear that. And so really it worked out because I got there, Missy drove us to Birmingham, and I kind of got the basic, because there's.

There's a, there's a, it's busy. Yeah. There's a, I mean, the wedding, there's a lot of things that you have to do. Oh, yeah. And so I had all the basic skeleton outline, but, you know, I just had had a deep conversation with them. But really what happened was in the rehearsal dinner, I got to know her a lot better. Because they're telling all the stuff. Well, they had a huge, what do you call those people that flank them, bridesmaids and.

Bridal party. groomsman yeah the party so they got up and shared and then we we had a conversation me cole and emmeline which is his new wife now your daughter-in-law and uh it was good so we got the expectations because i once again said look because when they first asked me i was like you could do better this i don't think i'm your guy which is what you said every time i told that every time And I said, but I wanted to ask her that. She's like, no, no, we would love for you to do it. I was like, look, I'm not a normal preacher,

and I don't know your family real well. I don't know if they want like a rigid, ritualistic type because I have a hard time with that. Well, you had a, well, Al, he had a hat on, which I've never seen. A hat, yeah. Yeah, I've never seen a preacher wear a hat. Well, it was. Because he has to keep the hair out of his hat.

I understand why he does it. Yeah. Because that tangled mess, if you didn't have a hat, trust me, it would be worse. Speaking of hats, Al, you got on a new hat there from our friends at Covenant Eyes. Real quick, I want to tell you about these guys real quick. We love them, by the way. They just launched a project called Frontline 21. And it's a program that's calling men back to biblical masculinity, which is so important these days, guys.

They've got a great field manual and a 21-day devotional at Frontline.21.com. designed to help men resist the cultural decay that really is destroying our culture so that we can lead our families and communities well. It's all free. Yeah, in fact, we're going to be doing a whole ad-free episode on October 29th. I want to tell you about that. It's going to be about pornography. And very important topics. It's probably one of the number one questions that we get on this podcast from men and women, but mostly men, how do we get out of porn addiction? And we're going to be giving away some of these frontline 21 hats. But I want you to mark that on your calendar, October 29th. In the meantime, you guys can download the free Frontline 21 field guide for men.

I highly recommend me to check it out at Frontline21.com. We'll put the link in the show notes for you. And then again, mark that calendar for October 29th. I know why I wears that. The wedding planner actually, you know, we had a conversation about that. Yeah. It's like, you're wearing a hat. I was like, well, here's the problem.

Because there was a series of unfortunate events. We actually didn't have it at a church bill. We had it at like it was a kind of a golf. I thought it looked like a golf place. It was a country club. It was a country club in Birmingham, Alabama. Is that what we still call? Was it a nice country club?

Oh, it was not. We played golf during the day with all the groomsmen. Had a little healthy competition. Did you take them? Which me and Reed, we scrambled because this course was built. in like 1929 and it was fantastic i mean fantastic it looked nice yeah and uh the club pro came out because there was 14 of us fixed to play yeah and we had the first tea times

and he came out drill sergeant style was hilarious it's probably the hardest i've laughed over some kind of event that was fixing to happen because this guy was like this course has been here almost 100 years and we have the tea time stack behind y'all and this is a service that we're providing for y'all so let me go through the basics number one you're scrambling pick a partner number two if you do not play in the allotted time we will come speed you up or throw you out i mean it was very kind of like in a chuckly way but i was he even he meant business he showed the proper way you aren't going to wreck his day to fix divvits to fill

sand-filled divvets that you make, but divots on the green. I mean, I was like, so it was kind of a gulp. But I kept laughing, because I was like, this guy is making it clear.

Don't tear this course up. Which you think about it, a bunch of, you know, young men, like, wedding party. They're sophisticated, that. These are, I mean, but I can understand

from his perspective, because a lot of these things, Trust me, I've been around the wedding situations where it's a big drunken bash and you've got a bunch of idiots. I mean, it wouldn't be that for Coles group, but I'm saying, you know, I've seen the groups before.

That was the feeling. And it was so hilarious. And so then we're kind of making the team, which I liked. I thought, yeah, I don't want to be out here all day. Well, of course. And if people, if some of the guys don't play much, you sure need somebody, doesn't you?

Well, here's what happened. About three or four members of the family that was going to be married in. After they heard the speech, they had golf clubs. They said, we're out. We're just going to ride. So he kind of thin the herd right off the back.

You know, Zach, this is like the professor that comes in and reams you out the very first time because if you're not going to be serious about this course, you might as well hit the road. That's so funny. So then we started picking the teams. Well, Cole, who's fixed to get married, hadn't played golfing,

because I said, when was the last time? you play go because after that speech i mean there's due on the ground the first hole there's out of bounds on the right and there's a creek on the left all the way down there's nowhere to miss it yeah and uh cole said oh i'll start it off which was i was like okay he teed it up three 300 yards right down the middle which i said that looks like a man that's fixed to get married. That's a confident man that does that. And the next guy did the same thing and the third member of their team. So they kind of figured out who the worst golfers were. The third member hit it dead right into the clubhouse ball rattling around. So that was a little embarrassing. But,

you know, the drill sergeant was looking around like, hey, it happens. But, uh, so that's kind of how how it started. But, uh, I'm not sure where I was going with that. But it was, it was fun. Oh, so we scrambled. Right. So one of the team shot four under, and me and Reed and our partner who hadn't played golf much, we shot three under, and Cole's team shot one under. So we all, the three teams, that's pretty good. It was a very difficult course, so you think.

And I think if, especially do bustin, that's the worst. Well, and the greens were real fast and tricky. So if we had a putted well, we played well enough to shoot eight under. but making a putt was pretty difficult. But anyway, so we kind of, to get back to the message, I guess. Yeah, what was your, tell us your basic there for you. Well, after we had this session with the rehearsal dinner, and we got to know everybody, and I had that conversation,

and of course that went late, the rehearsal dinner. And then that night didn't get much sleep, but next morning I woke up about that. three hours into it. You know, I had it. And because you want to, it's not about you. Right.

But you don't want to be a distraction. Right. That's on town. That's the tricky part about it. So the wedding. But it is your son. So you have some leave. The wedding planner and my wife,

when I got there, they're like, you know, I have my Bible. And I had about four pages of notes here, which two of the pages are actually the vows that, you know. So, because they said that don't be long. And I was like, That was their one request. We don't want it long.

Yeah. I don't know how long it was. Which is what everybody tells me. That's the one. It wasn't long. I mean, it was 15, 15, yeah, tops. That was, it was. Well, that's what I was worried about.

When I saw Jays, I didn't know you're preaching and I saw you walk out. I was like, uh-uh, here we go. This is going to be a. You're thinking, podcast, Jays. I'm thinking we got 45 minutes right here. I mean, this is, he'll get it. I mean, I know it won't go over 50 minutes because that's what we're all used to doing.

No ads, though. I know there weren't being any ads in that episode. Did Maddie have to count him down for him to start the way? I'd wait for, yeah. A three, two, one. But what he did, this is what, this was different. So at first, because, I mean, I thought, uh-oh, he's forgot that he's supposed to. Because, you know, the father Jimbo, who's awesome, by the way, who's got to meet him,

he listens to the podcast. The father of the bride. Oh, he listens to our podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They, they were, they watched Dunk Dynasty. And so we had gotten past that awkward, but when I first met their family, when they got engaged, we kind of had the first meeting. Right.

And they were asking me about Duck Dynasty episodes, which I couldn't remember. It's embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, and you have that awkward conversation. And before Zach tells you about the sermon, I had a few hurdles to get through because I was a little nervous. I mean, Missy said I didn't act like I was nervous. I was. I mean, it's my, I'm emotionally invested in this, you know. And so I'm like, I love my son.

And it's just different. So they said, no mic. It was like, we can't have a mic stand up there. And I was like, well, why not? They're like, well, we don't want it in the pictures. So I, you know, I'm used to a mic. Yeah. So I don't like it.

I had to speak three times louder. which is another awkward because you got people three feet. But it was a small, it was kind of real intimate. Like, I mean, it was. We were all packed in there. It was not that you don't have the voice to care, but I'm with Jays. I don't want to have to be loud if I'm speaking to people three feet feet. I don't know what Zach thought, but I was speaking three times louder than normal.

And only because we tested it out and the little music operators in the back of the room. I would start talking and they're like, nope, no, so I raised it. I was nope so about the third level they said that's it and so that was the voice that I talked with 90% of the time and then they said no podium I was like well I got a Bible and I got four pages of notes and they're like nope I was like why why not they're like we don't want a podium in the pictures I was like okay let's make this as difficult yeah it sounds like a production team just follow you to a wedding. Yeah. But you know, if you're not used to, if you're not in the vein of like, you know, rhythm of preaching weddings, I mean, it is, it may, I got, I got, I did one two weeks ago and I got nervous.

I don't get nervous anymore speaking in public, but I got nervous. I'm telling you, out of everything I did in all my, you know, pasturing years and ministry years, weddings were the most difficult. And for a lot of different reasons. One is it's also two days that you're involved in these situations. And a lot of times, if there's a problem in this family, you will find it on the night before, which I did many times. So, and then I'll let Zach break down the speech.

The one thing when we were driving over, Missy was driving over, she said, so have you got your wedding outline? And I was like, no. And I told her the bit about I'm waiting on the conversation, which made her nervous. I said, the only thing I have is I want to do one joke. And it's never been done before. And I told her, I'll give you the reason for the joke first.

I said, I have, I believe that my son and this woman are the most compatible couple that I, pre-marriage that I've ever seen. I'm like, if there was the exact opposite of his parents, because remember your guy told you, oh, no. Oh, exactly. I was like, this is, this is, incompatible. This is right. And I knew it was going to be a small family wedding with just friends. I told her, I said, but I'm not going to do the joke. I said, but I thought about doing one.

And she said, well, what was it? I was like, well, first she said, well, why are you not doing it? And I was like, well, I did go to Bible school. And I know that every professor there, I know my brother, I was speaking of you, would say, do not do this, especially when you don't know half the people are going to get married. I was like, but I really want to do it because I think it's the right time. I think it would be really funny and it would be a good icebreaker. And you know, Jay, you're unintentionally funny.

If you tried to be intentionally funny, it was funny. And that also. So I said, but I'm not doing it because at the end of the day, I prayed about it and I thought about it. And I just think it's too risky. I don't want to alienate this new family that we're going to be involved in. It's risky. And she's like, well, tell me what it hit. And I said, no, because I know you wouldn't want me to do it.

She's like, tell me. I said, what I want to do? For the first time in the history of weddings, I said, I want to do the part where it says, if there's anyone here who has just calls for why these two should not be married, I said, I want to say that and then say, you may go now. And I said, but she's like, that's hilarious. I think you should do it. And I was like, yeah, yeah.

And she's like, no, I'm serious. You should do that because I feel the same way. That's just ridiculous that we're even doing that. in our modern culture. I was like, babe, you're talking me into this. So Zach was there, and I did it. You did it. It landed.

It landed. And I think it... I thought you were going... I would have said, if I would have done that joke, I would have said, pause and said, keep it to yourself. No, I said, you may go now. Everyone laughed. But here's, Al, here was the bonus.

Because I don't feel like you should get up there and be funny or make it about you. But then I made the point. with passion. These two people, I am convinced, are brought together by God Almighty. You turned it into the world. Oh, I did it with some passion. He did.

But then it just turned out great because the poor father of the bride, they changed up how they were going to do the song. Well, I thought we were all going to stand and sing. They had a woman lead a song, who was fantastic, by the way. She was great as they faithfulness. Well, everybody got the memo

except the father of the bride that this change occurred. We all had a little meeting. Well, he wasn't in the little pre-meeting. They're like, no, she's just going to sing it. That's what the family wants to do. But his cue to like, when I say, who gives this woman in marriage,

and he says her mother and I, well, then I was going to say, let us stand, you know, and as we're standing to sing this song, was going to go to his seat but they said no she's just going to sing it so everybody's going to remain seated so when i said that he said her mother and i well then i was going to introduce the singer and i was i was waiting on him to go to his seat but he was just kind of looking bewildered like and then i realized oh no he doesn't realize we've changed this and he needs to go sit down and so i thought about

say them what I'm fixed to say that I did say and I thought that's risky but I know this I know this will break the tension that's mounting right now yeah and I said you may go now well it's the same thing I said it was kind of like bye yeah well they all roared again because it's like the same well she just I mean he gave the daughter away and Jay's and he's standing there and Jason's like, okay, you can go now. It was pretty funny. It was funny, but he kind of turned red, and I told him later. I was like, I apologize.

I apologize for that, and he's like, oh, I took it for the team. He's like, I really didn't know what to do. You kind of did a Tuesday, a little Johnny Tyler. You did a, oh, I didn't realize you were there. You may go now. You may go now. But I think everyone knew I was joking, so it was okay. It landed.

It landed well. I don't know. I guess the producer in me, I was kind of nervous for you, Jase. I mean, I don't know why I was thinking, I hope, does he know that like the whole time I'm like, you know, because when you're not up there on the stage, you know, you kind of know, you're a little more aware of the process and how it should flow. And I knew when the father or the bride walked the bride down the aisle, at that point, you're supposed to say who gives this woman in marriage or something to that effect.

And then the father says her family and I. And then the father goes and sits down. And then you start preaching. Well, Jace, and I didn't know you did this on purpose. Jase goes right into the sermon. And I'm like, I don't think he realizes he's supposed to do the question. I realized it. And that was the one thing Zach pointed out.

I just felt like in our culture now, I just wanted to lay the foundation that God is the architect of marriage. And I wanted to say that right off the bat. I mean, I had an icebreaker, you know, love is in the air. This is a joyous occasion. I'm looking at what I did. Well, you read out of Genesis, A Man Shall Leave His Father and Mother and Be United with his wife.

I put that in every way. But I started out. That's in ours, but he started off with that with the dad's like sitting there. But it worked out awesome because it was like a physical demonstration of this. this theological truth that's in the very foundation of marriage. Because Jimbo is standing there with his daughter. And he gives the verse, like, a man shall leave his father. So you see kind of this like separation, which is in your notes when you do a wedding now.

But I did separation and then going. I do like the idea of doing it there at the beginning. That's a great point. Oh, well, I worded it into my sentence. I had this all written out. I was like, based on, and I quoted, I put, I actually took. two verses, one from Genesis 1 and one from the back half of one, or maybe it's in two. And I combined them.

That God created male and female in his image. And for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother reunited to his wife. And the two will become one flesh. And so then I was like, and in, based on that, who gives this woman in marriage? Because it's not just that the man and the daughter are leaving their parents. Well, the parents are, you need to be a part of this leave and cleave process. Yeah, it's the foundation building. Exactly.

And so I asked him. So it was kind of some legs to that question. And so, Zach, notice that. But I thought, hey, in these days, I think we need to bring that principle back. That's good. There's a male. There's a female. They make a perfect one.

flesh just based on human anatomy and this was his idea for them to form a family unit right and so that's what it did well what i like about it is outside of even what what the point i always make in a wedding is that marriage is such a strong institution because it's really it predates christianity it predates Judaism. It predates any of the world's religions. I mean, it literally was a gift from Almighty God to the very first man and the very first woman. Yeah. And so you think about all the thousands of years of human tradition.

And yet here this last Saturday night, Jay's is still in a setting where you were still implementing the things that God created for us to do from the garden to today. And so that's why when you see these attacks on, on family or marriage or when you get into all these different things that are taxed, you know it has to be of some point of evil or lies because this has been a part of human tradition since we've been around. It's just, it's such a crucial point to me. And I love the way you did it because I love that illustration that you're watching

it happen. That's powerful. Yeah, which led to them when he sat down and we sang the song Great of Faithfulness. You know, I started off that God is the architect of marriage. and I went to Hebrews 3, 4. Every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. So that was kind of the theme as this went on.

So then I used a real personal illustration with our parents because my mom sent a message to Emmeline because she was really sad that she couldn't go. She was not physically able to go. And she said, you know, tell Emelon, scratch that, tell emlin that she is the most beautiful woman that cole could have ever gotten inside and out and so then i said well what do you want me to tell cole and she's like well just tell her that in front of him and that'll be good enough you know yeah yeah so much was kind of

everybody laughed when i said that but uh you know i found out later that you know even when she came over to dad's funeral, I wasn't aware that on the way to the funeral in the cars that Emlyn held my mom's hand the whole time, you know. And so I brought this point out about how different my parents are in that Kay always had this mantra that you fight for your marriage and I talked about that. Yeah. And I said, you know, if she hadn't had that mantra, go, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be standing here now. And I was like, and then there's my who every wedding he was ever involved in in any capacity started off with a very obscure passage 1st Corinthians 728 and I'll quote it because I'm sure no one out there knows what first

Corinthians 728 says and I'll do it in my fill voice those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you of this which everybody kind of chuckled it but I'm I'm like, you know, he was right. Yeah, he was saying it's not easy. You get married, trouble is coming. And I thought it was a good way to build on the foundation that God made them male and female. Of course, then I went to the roles in marriage. It's both a Jesus role.

But it's different. You're a man created by God. You're a woman. There are plenty of differences, not only just in the body, but our emotional. makeup and somehow that joining together especially as you're vowing this to god you not only compliment each other but you complete each other and i said that and so then i went through the rose i'm like you trust god's process of this and uh that was the basic gist of it and uh i thought it was great me and jace looked like uh we looked like we yeah there's a picture y'all maybe made it'll show

it's you're both in your black suits and uh oh kind of a kind of a blues brother if you'd have had a hat uh i said the same thing yeah it could have been a blues brothers i said which one is jake and which one is elwood yeah you didn't have we cleaned up well we had our black suit black tie i only uh i only have won that hat twice and it was when i did reeds wedding yeah when i did reeds wedding and uh well it's funny because i was sitting at a table full of people while you were doing the wedding and and someone sent me a picture from I guess it was one of my kids that was there sent me a picture of you you were speaking actually at the wedding so the people at the table I was telling us like we're missing my my nephew's wedding to be here tonight and I said no no it's okay

so then I was showing people the picture of you I said this is Jason this is his wedding hat is what I called it it was great because it gave us an opportunity because I was about to get at least and our, because we used a piece from mom and dad in our story when we tell and we go on the road and speak. And so it was just, it was really neat to, to me, in that moment to realize that while we're doing kind of what we've been called to do, you guys were continuing that foundation thread, you know, which is, which is powerful. I thought it was awesome.

I mean, we all stayed at a couple of houses that were big together, five minutes away from where the wedding happened. And it was all of my immediate family. and minus Mia for the first she had the stomach flu oh really oh it was terrible she was going to do the worship for the rehearsal dinner but she made the wedding but she did not feel good yeah and uh bless her heart but she's just like i'm not missing this yeah and so but and then we had all of uh cole's groomsmen they were on the compound but you know we had so many bible studies and just kind of worship moments and It was just fantastic, but it was, you know, it was a whirlwind of three days.

And look, the family that we're marrying into, I mean, we couldn't be more joyous about that. So we kind of got to know all them, like, after the wedding. Right. Because then it was everybody. Yeah, because you spend the rest of now their lives together. You guys are joined. It's the new family. Zach, what's cool for me and you is we happen to get to be there the night that Cole

introduced emlin to jays and missy because it was at the k-level awards when we were getting our podcast award that was the first time anybody had met her because that's true but i felt so terrible because we were involved in the program and so it's like i'm like hey hope this works out uh we might have had two sentences because it was so busy and look that's happened a lot like every time we're together but that also takes some pressure off too because you know you all in the world we have to be in where we're in settings like that when you're own, you know, because you're up in front of people. But for her to get to see that and kind of see this is what it's like to marry into this

crazy group of people. I mean, I guess maybe it's not a bad thing. Well, I think most people who are, you know, at the sound of my voice, you don't realize that when you go to these events and think, it's chaos. Oh, that's chaos. And they have everything planned out to where you go. It's just hard to sit down and have a real conversation. with anyone. It's just mass chaos and organized. But it was encouraging for me to see because you are

you guys, you and Missy are a little bit ahead of us and kind of like life in terms of your age and where, whatever point of you guys are in the grandkids phase. You got two kids married. Yeah, me is, you know, almost out of college and we still got little kids. And so one of the things I told Missy, I went up to her, dear the reception. And I said, you know, really you guys, have raised amazing children. Like all three of them love Jesus, all three of them, I mean, two of them that are married, married godly Christian women that are amazing.

But there was times when I look back at your life, I thought, I don't know how that was going to turn out. And it made me feel good, because we're raising kids. And it's so encouraging, I said, but y'all, like, even the ups and downs are just raised, I think everybody kind of goes through that. I said, but it made me feel really, give me a great deal of peace.

I was like, you know, you train a child right, the Bible says, and they may drift away, but they will come back. And you guys are a living testimony. And Missy said, she looked at me in, right now, she said, I'm going to tell you something, Zach, don't ever give up on your kids. Always push, push, push, push, even when they're in that season where it's tough. And that was super encouraging to me because she's like, you know, we just, we were not going to relent on our children.

and she said never did, and now, you know, they all turned out to love Jesus. For me, that's an encouragement word to anybody listening right now. Like, you think, man, my kids are this, my kids are that. Like, you just keep pursuing them. Like, don't stop. Do not stop because love covers the multitude of sin. Well, and you want to raise them to the point, too, Zach, and this is one of the things I've learned because I'm a step ahead of both of y'all because now I have, I mean, I've been, I've

I'm a 40-year-old kid. And which is, I mean, you know, that made your kid being turning 40 is like, really? And what happened? But the idea is that, man, it's back to that Ephesians, because you probably did some out of Ephesians 5, but Ephesians 6, you know, he goes right into that idea of parenting right after that. Well, it's a spiritual war. Right.

And the responsibility of children to parent. But that, man, that verse, you know, do not exasperate, you know, your children. you have to discipline them in a way that is best for their future and what they're doing, but in a way that you can also maintain an adult relationship, that crossover is so crucial because I see so many people that miss it. And then what happens is once that happens, it's so hard then to have that relationship the way you want it to be going forward as adults. Because it's going to be, you know, it's going to be bumpy.

I mean, you're going to have to be the bad guy, you know. That letting them go, that leaving in Cleveland, which is why we, you know, Zach made such a big deal about that. That process too is difficult because you just want to hover, but it's not healthy. And, you know, I look back on that. Some of those moments were, I think, where you're fighting, you know, for your kids the whole time, which is the word Missy's always used just in private with me. She's like, I mean, we've got to keep fighting, you know, keep fighting.

Which is kind of what's your point. was earlier about mom saying that about fighting for the marriage. Well, right, and that was the one time I got it. I did get emotional one time. And what you know what's so weird about it? I knew I wasn't like fixed to cry, but my voice just stopped working for five seconds. And because I think I was looking at Emmlyn. She had just, she had a smile on her face and tears were just coming down her face.

And tears of joy. So Cole had a little bit of deer in the headlights, which is understandable. And so I looked over at Missy, but I was reading the thing about mom. Oh, she's, I was like, don't know why I look there. She's lost it. And I just, my voice quit working for a second when I made that line about you got to fight for your marriage. Because I remember all those conversations my wife and I had. But the point I was going to make is once they did get married, even like reading Brighton,

I was like, babe, we got to fight ourselves now. because we got to let them fail, let them work out the difficulty. I was like, they're a marriage unit, and we're here when they need us. But it was a little easier for me than her, not that I think it's easy for anyone. But I look back on how that relationship has evolved. I mean, my oldest son and his wife are two of my best friends in the world. I mean, really just in the last couple of years, you know, with his wife. wife, Brighton, who we had on the podcast.

I mean, we're, I just love her. And we're good friend. And so I think that's a blessing. So I appreciate you saying that. But that takes effort too, Jay's. I mean, that takes effort as adults like anything else. And sometimes even the hardest thing as parents, sometimes to tell your kid, hey, you know, we did this.

We thought this was the right thing to do. Maybe it wasn't, you know, or even apologize sometimes to your kids for things that have happened because I'm telling you, you want to maintain that relationship because it's just important to continue to build those foundations. Once you lose that, man, it's hard to get it back. And I can't imagine being in a situation where I never got, I saw my kids and my grandkids once or twice a year. And I know a lot of people in our culture, that's the way they live.

I can't imagine that life. I mean, I can't imagine not being a part of all of it. I mean, I would say the two things that I've stressed, which weirdly enough, which is is how, you know, my daughter-in-law, how we got to be good friends, was through Bible study. And because she made a comment one time. Of course, y'all know me.

I don't need an excuse to give them any sermon. And I've done that throughout my kids' lives. You know, when they invite their friends over, I know it's not long, two minutes before we eat. I don't give just a prayer. Yeah. I'm like, here's the thought for the day, and it's a mini sermon.

Because I want to build that in our relationships. I'm like, let's talk about life's tough. Yeah. This is the greatest manual I'm holding my Bible here. And so let's dig in. This is thrilling. This is exciting. And so it's interesting that I think that one key nugget has always been there.

And the other thing I was going to say is, you know, we act the same way in private. And I'm talking about my wife and I has been doing public. And I think that really impacts your kids. Yeah. There's no, when we're at the house, yeah, we're having the Bible studies, we're having, and we go out, there's no, that's that, and this is this. So I think those two things, I'm not saying that as far as points, I'm saying that I've heard that from my kids that they were really grateful for.

We want to talk about the Bible, we want to have discussion. So to get back to Brighton, she said one time in passing a couple years ago. She was like, I've had a lot of questions, you know, but I didn't want to bother you. I was like questions about what? She's like, the Bible. I was like, that's not bothering me at all. I love that. I was like, send me a text.

That one little statement, you know, well, they just started firing. And I thought, man, what a privilege and honor to be talking to your family, you know, having Bible discussions. Well, and that's, I know a lot of listeners out there, because we hear from you all the time. In fact, we were on our way to this event, which was in Raleigh, and we were in the Charlotte Airport, which is, this is a disaster zone. The Charlotte Airport is the airport that wants to be bigger but can't quite get there, and so it's very difficult to navigate.

We have 40 minutes. I thought, we'll never going to make it. I was already decided we're probably got to rent a car and drive the rest of the way. But we made it, but barely. And so I've got to make a quick bathroom stop, and then I'm trying to grab Lisa. We're already late getting on our time to get on the plane. And one of our listeners comes out. You recognize Lisa first.

And I felt so bad because I had like literally a minute to just shake his hand. But he sent me an email later through Jen, who got it to me. I'm so glad I did because he told me what the podcast had done for him and then his family. That's why I thought about in the context where we're talking about, because he was. because he was like, you know, I was just so lost and adrift, and I just had nothing to offer my family. But then when I got into the word with you guys, I realized, you know, a life change in some depth is what my family needed.

And it was very heartfelt. And I'm sorry, I know you're listening to the podcast that I didn't get a chance to talk to you more than that airport. But that's what this is about. It is what you just described, if you don't have something in your own well, if you don't have some depth, from God. And that comes from studying, that comes from having a relationship with it, and that comes from being willing to share what he's doing in your life. If you don't have

something in the well, you don't have anything to give. And so in your family, you can become a void and just a landscape of nothing, which is why your kids would then look to other places to find something to fill that void. So, you know, everybody's listening. You want to, the first foundation is you have to have that relationship with Christ and deepen that and have something that you then have to share. And that's got to be your starting point. If you're not there, I'm glad you're listening to us because this is the place to do it, because we're going to get into the Word of God, and we're going to talk about how Jesus

does that. But I'm telling you, it won't just affect you. It'll affect your marriage. Then it will affect your parenting, your generations, and you'll have these same stories to go, you know. And that's the bottom line. I think at the end of the day, your kids watch what you do, not what you say. So I think what you say

It becomes more meaningful After you've Lived it out here And so look Just seeing those little kids Knowing that I'm uncomfortable About getting up doing weddings I mean let's just face it

I mean I just don't have the look for it Or the feel nor do I want to But this is a God thing And I think love in its truest form Is you doing something That you don't necessarily want to do for the benefit of others. And I want to leave my family.

So it's okay. I was vulnerable, uncomfortable, and my favorite part is when it was over. But, you know, I just feel like that that's what I should do. I mean, I should go up there and do that, especially for the little kids there. I mean, this is raw and it was real. And that was the main comments I got even from the new side of the family.

because to them, I mean, I thought that was the more sophisticated, my new family. Well, yeah, but I mean, my presentation. That was about as reverent and sophisticated as I can be. But the phrases I heard were that was so heartfelt and personal. And that's what surprises people, Jay, at weddings, because they're used to, they're used to a very formal tone. And you know what I'm saying? And it's usually not, which is what I always, I always embrace family weddings. Of course, again, I admit, I'm a professional person that does it.

So, I mean, I've done hundreds of weddings. But when I would do a family wedding, I felt free because, like, you know, I didn't have to worry about it. It was my family. So that's kind of how I felt like you did. You know, felt a little free by that. So, yeah, the verse, again, is train up a child in the way he should. you go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it. I think you saw that Saturday evening.

That's what that's what I saw Saturday evening. It was absolutely beautiful. I'm glad we got to be a part of it. And the thing about Coleman is that he, to me, he's out of all your children days, he has the most Jace-like tendencies, like from just his life and me seeing you grow up and him, because you're like that too, which people would be. surprised because you're like you're willing to talk and you're willing to share with people but you've always been like a quieter person that's the way cole was i mean it is and so i've always seen

the tendencies there he has to me the most qualities like that but then reeds got everything but one thing he's like a million times smarter than i am i mean this guy so it's caveat i mean that dude he'll start talking sometimes and I'm like, okay, you need to call Zach, tell him that. And let me see what he said. Well, I knew and he said, okay, I'm going to Pepperdine. I said, where are you studying out there? He said philosophy. I was like, well, okay. Then you're smarter than all of us. He's one of the, well, he's probably number one person in my life who has asked me several questions that my answer was, I have absolutely no idea. Like, he really, like a philosophy question that's based on some kind of biblical concept.

And you're like, Kyle's that. I don't know. I got nothing for you. Which is okay. I got nothing. Right. I was like, I went so far over my head. I don't even know a starting point.

But he's a interesting question. Yeah, he's a really smart guy. I will tell you this as kind of aloof as he is and as how much, like I knew, you know, Reed's bride, a little better because she was from here, hometown or whatever. I was shocked that, so they take off. They went to an island. They're on their honeymoon. And so yesterday, which was their first, I mean, they took off. I think they stayed somewhere that night, but then they left.

The next day. Yeah, the next day while we're coming back. And they actually sent a group family picture of just their toes in the sand. And it's just like, I forgot what the little caption was, but, you know, beautiful day or whatever. I was just so shocked. And this is like, who sends a group text to their family on the first day of their honeymoon? And I was like, babe, I think that's a good sign.

I think they really enjoyed us all being together in that moment. And I just thought, that's a really good sign. Yeah. Plus, you know, Tommy E.eman used to, he said this first, and I use it now in my weddings because I love the concept. And it's just what just happened. It's the joyful part of watching this new couple is you're actually, it's a birth of a new family. And so it's still in your wing. But at the same time, it literally is the birth of something, a new entity.

Because when two become one flesh, it's something. a new person. And so like the two of them together now become their own birth of a new family. And I love that because the idea is that's why we get so excited about it. I mean, it's a life thing. Well, it was. And the backstory on why we were kind of shocked about that is because they're the, the two worst, I'll text you back people in our family and they just got married.

So it's like, I mean, I'll text Cole and three days later, it's like he's answering like it's current. Yeah. Mike, that would have been great information. That's why I texted you three days ago. So the fact that they did that, old Reed, took that as an opportunity. He's like, boy, it's a whole new you. All you had to have was that night,

and then it was a couple of memes that he creatively put there about what happened the night before, which turned out to be hilarious. But I think that's, was a good moment again. And even Missy said, oh, that was hilarious, though. All right, we're out of time. I guess this became the wedding episode, but I kept looking thinking we were we ever going to get to John, but not today. But it was, it was good. Well, I appreciate indulging because, look, those three days were very emotional, very exhausting, very enjoyable. Yeah, it's good.

But birth of a new family. I love it. There we go. We'll see you next time on Unashamed. Thanks for listening to The Unashamed podcast. Help us out by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcast. And don't miss an episode by subscribing on YouTube. And be sure to click the little bell and choose all notifications to watch every episode.