Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 1285 | Phil Robertson’s ONLY Known Photo in a Suit

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Missy discovers a rare family photo of Phil Robertson wearing a suit that was taken during one of the most difficult seasons in Robertson family history. Al and Lisa open up about the betrayal that nearly destroyed their marriage and the painful road to repentance, forgiveness, and rebuilding trust. The guys, Missy, and Lisa reflect on how God can restore even the most broken relationships when people surrender and choose faith over bitterness. They also share lessons on mentorship, marriage, and the pursuit of godly character drawn from Proverbs and Job 31. In this episode: 1 Corinthians 13, verses 3–8; Ephesians 5, verse 33; Proverbs 31; Job 31 “Unashamed” Episode 1285 is sponsored by: https://cozyearth.com/unashamed — Get up to 20% off when you use our link and code UNASHAMED! https://shopmando.com — Control Body Odor ANYWHERE and get 20% off with promo code Unashamed! https://meetfabric.com/unashamed — Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. https://bravebooks.com/unashamed — Get 20% off with code UNASHAMED http://unashamedforhillsdale.com/ — Sign up now for free, and join the Unashamed hosts every Friday for Unashamed Academy Powered by Hillsdale College Check out At Home with Phil Robertson, nearly 800 episodes of Phil's unfiltered wisdom, humor, and biblical truth, available for free for the first time! Get it on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, and anywhere you listen to podcasts! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/at-home-with-phil-robertson/id1835224621 Listen to Not Yet Now with Zach Dasher on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or anywhere you get podcasts. Chapters 00:00 Jase’s “Don’t Tell Missy” Stories 05:18 When Telling Phil What Not to Say Backfires 12:14 The Only Photo of Phil Robertson in a Suit 16:32 The Marriage Crisis That Nearly Broke the Robertsons 22:40 Lisa’s Rock-Bottom Moment 29:18 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 37:02 Why Trusting God Comes Before Trusting People 44:21 Mentoring the Next Generation of Women 50:32 The Secret to a Strong Marriage 55:40 Why the Proverbs 31 Woman Isn’t Meant to Be Perfect — Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? Welcome back to Unashamed. Our set has taken a major step forward today, Jase. Both beauty, brains, loveliness, wisdom. Wisdom. Our wives have entered the Unashamed Nation. Lisa and Missy, welcome to back to Unashamed. It's always fun to have you guys in. and we're doing a lot of podcasts, so we need some help. No, I don't think I'd be here right now if we're not for my lovely wife. I don't know what that means. I would not be sitting here. I don't know what would have happened, but, I mean, the Lord had a plan.

So Missy, I have to say, right off the bat, the last thing Jason told me was, don't tell Missy I've been telling all the stories that she said don't tell on the podcast. So I need to tell you that he's been telling them on the story. I don't know which ones those are. I'm a little nervous. Anyone that you said, don't tell. That's a good thing. I didn't realize that, that you've told me not to share that story on the podcast so many times that now you can't even remember which stories.

I won't go back into them. I just want to report that we have been telling those stories. Didn't we just do a podcast about Kane and Abel? We did. What role are you playing? I don't hate you, Jays. I don't hate you. you. I just, I'm like any other Robertson, when you say, don't do that, which is what you told him.

Why are you saying that? Because I know you don't listen to the podcast, and there's been a few stories that you said, don't tell on the podcast. You know some of my friends and my daughter-in-law listens to this podcast. You don't think they're going to tell me that you told certain things? See, she's got people. They're loyal, babe. To me. And me. Because usually I say, well, What happens on the podcast stays on the podcast. Except for the hundreds of thousands of people. Remember whenever we told Phil not to say something.

Oh, we said that. We're going for an interview. When Jay said it, I was like, Jay, Missy's coming on this way. You know I'm going to tell her everything. It's just like, do you just tell me not to Zay? I learned it the hard way. Yeah, you know, what was the one Zaz? Your sister's one.

There was multiple ones, but when I ran for Congress said every single, like I brought Phil in, Jace, you did a few of them where y'all, I'd, bring y'all in with the big money donors and and uh y'all'd give you y'all'd say a little few words and phil would always say hey we've vetted this one since the day he burst forth from my sister's loins and in like a small setting that's kind of funny you know when you've got like a room of 25 people but when you go on sean Hannity show not so funny it's hot i walk in the phil's house they got the satellite truck who's doing a Hannity hit and he's like all right dash you anything I need to stay away from.

And I made the mistake. Yeah. It's a mistake. What you've been doing, I made that mistake. I told him what not to do, which was the first thing he said when we went live. Yep. Because it's at the forefront of his mind and he's going to get it off. Yeah.

It was like the time we were in the car going to Fox and Friends. And I just watched that clip that they were promoting. I think it was the second season of Duck Nine's day. We were just riding in the car. I don't know if y'all were. I don't know who was on the show that day. And I said, dad, when you were mentioning all the venereal diseases, remember that one where he's like chlamydia?

I mean, gonorrhea and does all this. I said, and it was in that clip that they were going to show. And I said, you didn't mention chlamydia. And I just said it as a joke. And he said, well, I didn't know how to pronounce it. So we laughed. And then we get on the show and Ducey says, well, Phil, you know, this got this episode. You're teaching your grandkids stuff.

And he said, dozy, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes. You know, and he just went right into it. And I realized I did it. I planted the seed on the ride over. You did it. But you learned your lesson now because I won't tell the whole story of this next one because it could be controversial. But we were on a plane going somewhere, me, you and Phil.

And I said, Phil, what are you going to tell them when you get there? Like, what's your speech going to be about? and he paused for a second. He said, I think I'm going to tell him to repent or burn in hell. And I was like, you can't, like, you can't say that. I was thinking you can't say that. And so I was like, and I'm getting so nervous because I put this event together.

And so I look at you, Al, you're sitting right next to Phil on the plane, and you gave me this look like, don't respond, don't react, just sit here for a minute. No shock and I'll respond. Because that's what he likes. Don't do anything. Don't push back. I kind of feel like he should have said that. I'm wanting to push back on this one.

There were a few other things in there, too. Yeah, there was a few other things that were inappropriate. I'm watering this thing down. He's being nice about it. I mean, because I was thinking just what Zach was thinking, what dad was saying, I was like, this will get that in serious trouble. But I knew if you push back in the moment that he would do it. And so we just didn't go there.

And then we got up. He did great. He did his normal thing. But what he was thinking in that moment, no, Dad, don't do that. You learned from the master, didn't you? I learned with the master right there. So, Missy, tell us about, you hadn't been on a while. I know you guys have been traveling some, doing some events.

Chase has been telling some of those tales as well. Does he finally let you speak? I'm sure I can't add anything more to it. Jase has told. I'm sure he's told all of the fascinating stories. Only about 70% of it is true. Yeah. It's always entertaining. No, it's been nice to travel together and speak together and speak to one event.

He spoke to the men and the next morning I spoke to the women. So that was really nice, you know, to have, that we kind of compared and talked to each other about what we were sharing. And I mean, when the message is Jesus, it just sometimes, you know, women think differently and men think differently. about the ways to get there and to keep their attention. And so I think we've done it both long enough. One thing I told the women was that, because I have some things, you know, just lately that I've been studying and how God has knocked on our door, basically.

And like I told, like with Duck Dynasty, you know, I hear the knock and I look at Jace like, You're going to get that? Because that's not on me. You know, like, I'll follow you into that. But I'm not answering that door. You have to answer that door. And that was a yes that we said yes to.

But it's been huge. It's been a huge amen in our life. And I told the ladies, you know, I'm standing up in front of a few hundred of them. Like, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that. You wouldn't know who I was. We've been doing this message of sharing Jesus. all of our lives. When we were dating, when we first got back from our honeymoon,

all of that, just boom, boom, boom. We were sharing it in our living room. And now we're on stages. It's the same message. That's right. You know, God just uses this in a different way. And then the next one, of course, the knock on the door is, what I share is, it's Mia.

You know, are you going to take this on full force? 100%. Yeah. 100% yes. And now look at 22 years later, huge amen. She's a huge amen. So I talk a little about that. And both of those are led by God, 100%.

And then, of course, the last one is little man. And I was like, did I hear that? I'm not sure I heard that knock. So we all talk about our neighborhood. When somebody knocks on our door, we don't answer it because they don't know us for reasons I won't say on the podcast here, but we have a security gate and all that. There are reasons that you got this far.

Right. And if you got this far and you knock, we don't know you. So that's kind of what I thought about with little man. It's like, I don't know this one. I don't think I'm going to answer this one. Maybe they'll go on down to the next house. But, you know, sometimes with the Lord, you say yes. Sometimes you say yes, but.

Yeah. And that was one. I said yes, but. And here we are four years later. And we're just saying yes. One yes at a time. And we're waiting for all the amends. Yeah.

And it's a hopeful yes. You know, that's a beautiful thing sometimes about what we do. Yeah. And we, you know, at least it got to be a part of that first night. Yes, yes. So you posted, you posted about that. I did, Lisa. I didn't ask you about that first. It's so good. It's a picture I've never seen before. Really? Never seen that picture before. I don't think I've seen it before. Yeah. It's the only one we have, I think of y'all graduating. Yeah. So if you ever wonder, what does comfort all day long actually feel like? Well, I'm telling you, I was just this morning, every morning I get up, I sleep with this blanket.

I sleep with my bubble cuddle blanket every night. I use it every time I get up in the morning. If I'm on the couch watching TV, I'm telling you, this is the best blanket. I think I've sold more of these blankets than any person on the planet because I actually believe in it. Al, you have one of your house that gets fought over. They fight over it the whole time. And now the dog, Alex brings the dog over and the dog's fighting them, over the blanket.

Well, we have multiple bubble cuddle blankets, so there you go. That's great. And it's not just the blankets. They got socks over at Cozy Earth. They have socks, sheets, comforters. Yeah, Missy also gets pajamas from Cozy Earth. Every year for Christmas, it's a tradition that keeps on giving. And they're just ridiculously soft and breathable, the kind of everyday comfort that's long-lasting.

It's just the thing you've been looking for. We all are using the products. And with a 10-year warranty at a 100-night trial, you can't go wrong, but there's no way you're going to return these. Discover how cared every little detail transforms simple routines into moments in true comforted knees. Head on over to cozy earth.com. Use our promo code unashamed for over to 20% off. We graduated on a Sunday night. They had a Saturday night service.

And one of the things, Miss, I don't know if you remembered this or not, because I read your post, was that mom and dad also graduated that night in a leadership training, which I'm assuming maybe why dad had a suit on. He got on stage and accepted his. That's when they had those on Wednesday nights. Right. For two years. Oh, y'all got Phil in a suit? He's wearing a suit. It's one of...

It's a tie-in jacket and his khakis. It's not a full-on suit. There's a picture of him when he was a high school coach at Junction City, and he's wearing, like, the purple jacket and a tie. The only other time I've seen it is the one you posted, which I was shocked. Both borrowed. Both times. Yeah, both borrowed.

And then he had one other times. He just shows up. He just shows up. up at the event, y'all had no clue he's with me wearing a suit. No, I mean, honestly, I didn't know that he would actually come. When does he care about that? Except that he was graduating, I guess.

But when does he care? Well, that's true. He told me never go to a graduation. That's what he said. He said he didn't go to his and everybody got food poison. So he took that as a sign from the Almighty. Yeah. He beat that in my head.

That's why I didn't graduate from high school. I got my diploma like 12 years later. I didn't go to mine either. Really? I've not been to, the only one I went to was the school to preach and one. Really? Wow. You got to remember my dad, it's like when we had school picture day, like if you go to

Westmore High School and try to find that I was there, good luck. Every one of them is, Jace is the little cartoon character with a pickle barrel around. Or it says photo unavailable. Photo unavailable. I was unavailable. Because my dad, that wasn't me. He would say, oh, that sounds like a good day to take off. Picture day.

So I didn't have to go to school on picture days. Well, every year we would come home, the first day of school we'd come home, we would report how many days we could miss. That was our first day every year because you'd go to a new school. You know, every like three years we went to a new school. And so we'd ask how many days you'd get off. And it was like, all right. So use them judicious.

The only time my dad would get out a calendar is to mark how many ducks we shot or to figure out which 20 days we're going to miss. Now you see why I said I wouldn't be here without you, babe. I see that. It's making sense. You know, what's crazy is yesterday was picture day for a little man at his preschool. And I went and bought him a new little shirt, you know, and he just looked. And I did his hair yesterday morning.

We had his church sheet. He looked handsome. He looks so cute. I can't wait to see the picture. Like, darling. So in this picture, as you've seen it now, I'm blocked by mom, which. But Al, you have a problem with photos. Peking out.

I've noticed, I don't know, you're probably right. I haven't noticed it, but I do find myself in the back. And I thought it was just when I was overweight for that decade that that's why I did it. But actually, I was skinny in that pic, so it must be something else. Must have a fear of. No, what's still the show was Lisa's glasses. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't go there.

And the hair. That was 80s hair. Oh, I thought it was 1990. It was 1990. But it was, we were just at the end of the 80s, so we hadn't quite shifted to 90s yet. But Lisa had those red glasses and your hair was kind of reddish. Yeah. And you had it, you never have had like poofy hair, but you tried to poof it.

I tried to poof. Yeah, and it just didn't quite poof. And I'm still baffled as to why I thought that actually looked good. I mean. Well, it was like my mullet. I looked in the mirror. I had a mullet right after that. That looks great.

And then, you know, how many years ago is that been? 40 years ago, I'm looking at it and going, that's not great. I tell Connie Sue that all the time. I say, Connie Sue, you've been cut my hair for 40 years. Why did you let me go through this era? And she was like, because everybody was in, that was at the time. Everybody thought it looked great. So I had a mullet right after that.

But yeah, so mom is there looking youthful. Dad's in a suit. Jace with no beard. And Missy is in the picture as well. Because y'all weren't married yet. No, we were getting married the end of that week. The end of that week. Oh, a week later, I got to see this picture.

I noticed that Willie wasn't there. Yeah, Willie wasn't there. Because he wound up going to the school as well. And let's see. And then. You want me find it. Jeb. And then Alex are in it.

And Jeb is so little. So is this the only known picture in existence of Phil in a suit? That in the Junction City one that I've seen. But I don't even know where that is. I think I've seen it online. He was wearing a jacket and a tie. But now he was, yeah, there it is. Oh, yeah.

You remember that guy, Jay? Good grief. You live back sometimes and say, man, what happened? What that happened? Who's this little boy in front? That's your little brother, Jeff. Oh, my goodness. Time has taken its toll.

Jeff was five years old when Matt Al got married. Wow. I was thinking he was 10, so that's right. He was 10 when we got married. Well, my point was not feeling a. suit or Lisa's glasses. Those were side nose. My point was that she's, you're five years older than me and you were five years into being a Robertson in-law, which I was about to step into. And what you had just gone through in your marriage with Al, set not so great a tone for me

coming into the family. Because it kind of ruined for it for the time. For the time, being, you know, the trust issues that Phil already had with women for no reason. Absolutely zero reason. I tell you why, because he couldn't touch himself, right. He was a projecting. But you just kind of, when you did what you did was stepping out of your marriage, kind of confirmed to him, see? Yeah.

You're all bad. You know. So it was not a great time. It took a long time to repair that. In fact, Missy, it's like, I said this recently, it's like when you see a situation, you think, man, that situation is so bad, that could be a lifetime movie. And there's like, yeah, that's our, now we're. Now it is a lifetime movie. Now it's a lifetime movie.

Literally, literally it's a lifetime movie. It's happening as we speak. And I mentioned it, babe, but briefly that we did see how this is made. We went and watched a scene being filmed. And it was really amazing for me because it was dad and I on the porch right after I'd come back. And it was very much, it was 20 seconds of what happened over three months of me sitting out on the porch with dad. I was making reads back in those days, but in us talking about the Bible and talking

about my life. And it's basically me apologizing in the scene for the life I had led. But it was really, it touched me. I mean, because, you know, and the script, you know, dad's like telling me, young me, I mean, son, it's just the death baron resurrection of Jesus. I mean, he was his mannerisms and the, you know, the way he was doing it was a lot like that. It was really well done.

So the one scene I saw was like, if the whole movie turns out like this, it's going to be really good. And I loved it because they did do that. They had the death barrel and resurrection in there. Yeah, I'm shocked. Yeah, I'm shocked. Faith and forgiveness, you know, in the title.

You know, for a lifetime movie, again, you know, they're kind of stepping out. And that was our one thing. So whenever we started this process, when Al and I were praying, I said, I don't want this to be about how great we've done. I want this to totally be about what God did in us. And I want him to get all the glory.

And so far in the scenes that we've seen, that's exactly what's happening. Yeah, it's very. Well, Lisa, to your point of that, you were trying to do it. You were trying to change and turn your life around yourself. Right. And you kept failing at it. failing at it. And it was until you completely surrendered that you changed completely because you let the Lord lead your life. Somebody actually just yesterday, we were talking about this, about them going

through with someone special in their life. And I said, you know, they keep trying to call me and go catch up and have lunch and all this stuff. And I'm like, I don't do life. I've said everything I need to tell you about how to change your life. There's nothing I want to catch up. upon in your life until you come to my door or in front of me and say, I'm so sorry for how I hurt you. And I've surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. Will you help me? Yes, 100%.

Until you did that, we were like, it's not going to work. Yeah. We knew the whole time. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. There's even one instance, if y'all will allow me to share. And if you don't want this to share, Maddie can edit it out. No, I don't.

Are you kidding? We're making a lifetime movie. Okay, well, you know, I mean, people are transparent until they don't want to be. But there was a time when y'all both went forward at church to, quote, repent. Because Lisa, you got caught. And Al ended up taking the blame in front of the church. And so we all, as an act of solidarity for our family, were all. sitting on the front row to, you know, be there for you and to support you.

And then Alan stood up and said it was all his fault. And I get that because you're the leader of the family and what you're trying to do. But Jeff, who was still a young man, not married, teenager, was sitting beside me. And he said, she's such a liar. And I just thought. Here we all are sitting on this front row in support of y'all, and none of us believe that you've changed at all. Yeah.

And then, fast forward to more years, and you surrender your life to Christ. And I don't remember that person that you were. So I started reading a lot about the metals and all the toxins and the deodorant that I've been using every the years, the antiperspins. But it's the only thing that would work for me out. And so I've tried other things. Honestly, none of them have worked. until I found Mando. I'm not just making that up. You use Mando as well. I do. And, Zach, I was using this even before they made it for men. Back in they were just making it for women. I love Mando. It's one of my favorite products. We don't use the antiperspents anymore in our house. We've been off that for probably three months now. And I'm telling you, this is the real deal. I actually use this every single morning. This stuff actually works. It works up to 72 hours. Mando whole body deodorant is helping men conquer their odor in a new way. And yes, it's whole body deodorant. Pits, thighs, feet, everywhere.

You can spray it on. It's created by a doctor to stop odor before it starts. It's clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours. They've got a solid stick as well, which is what I use in the morning, or an aluminum-free spray, both without a bunch of questionable ingredients. Some men mask their B.O. with sense, don't mask it, Mando it, available at retailers near you, or head to shopmando.com because for a limited time, new customers, they're going to get 20% offsite-wide with R. exclusive code, use code unashamed at shopmando.com for 20% off sitewide. That's S-H-O-M-A-N-D-O.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Mandos got you covered. Say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long-lasting freshness. When you guys spoke at our church, there was a moment in your testimony, which I, I mean,

I know the story. I obviously lived it with you guys, but not to the, I wouldn't live it in Monroe then, but I remember the whole story. But there's a part of your story that, man, there was like, I don't even know if you intended this when you told this, Lisa, at our church, which, by the way, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. But you talked about going outside at this particular moment, and you said you laid on the ground. Like, this just stuck with me, the image of this.

And you said, I was on the ground in desperation, and I could not, like, if I could have gone lower, I would have, like, take me, like, you just had nowhere to go. and I was thought, man, what a beautiful metaphor of how we come to Christ. Literally, you have to go under the ground. You got to die and be born again. And you really went out there and laid on the ground and, you know, postured your body in that way to die. And, you know, I think that that is the story of Jesus.

It's all of our story, by the way. It's that we all have to die to ourselves and be resurrected with Christ. Christ, and that's where the renewal comes from. So it's such a beautiful expression of that. Yeah. And you asked, didn't you, for him to come and rescue you in the moment. In fact, that was, to me, that was my first encounter with Christ, was out there on the ground. Because I asked for him to come and save me.

I said, I have nothing else. I mean, I don't have my family. I don't have my children. I don't have anything. So, you know, if you're real, if you're real, if you're real. really out there, would you come and rescue me? And that was the first time I'd ever felt that you could actually feel God in your life. Yeah. Because I felt like he had come right the end. Even when I was dirty, nasty, I hadn't even, you know, as far as repented at church, I hadn't done that yet.

But I did repent before God at that point. And he came and made. me right there. Well, one of the things that it didn't impress me in the moment of it, but it did much later, was that then the next day, she did go forward. She didn't run. Like, I mean, I think I would at this point where she had been and what she had done and where we were, I would have ran. I ought to just, because I did run away, you know, when I was young. And, but she didn't. She just, she marched right down there without any prep work for anybody. and finally just said, here's who I am, and handed him a letter and said, here it is. And for her, I think that became a turning point now that you have to face the consequences

of everything. And she did. And it was hard. It was a really hard time for all of us. But I think looking back now, if she hadn't done that, she hadn't had the courage to just go ahead and finally go public who she was, then obviously we wouldn't be. Well, if you remember, we didn't go forward with you on that day. I don't think Jace was even there.

Kay and I were sitting in a spot that was completely different from where we usually sit. We were all holding hands. I don't even remember who was there. And it's like we were having, we were dreading this. Yeah. Like, because we didn't believe you yet. Yeah. And so over the next few weeks and months and years, you, I mean, we loved you.

you had to prove to us to trust you again. That was really hard, you know. But again, now I don't know that person anymore, completely different. I'm glad you're here and you're the Lisa I know now. Yeah, me too. Jace did a sermon a few maybe months later, a year later. I don't remember how long the time kind of. But in his, because we were, you know, I don't know why you're even up, Jason,

but it was a Sunday night. I'll never forget it. And you talked about three women that, you know, you respected. And one was mom, one was Missy, and then the third was Lisa. And Lisa and I were just in tears sitting there. You know, we didn't know you were going to do that. But, I mean, to me, it was like that was like the final hurdle for, like, the whole family that Lisa, everybody recognizes she's a new person. So I'll never forget that.

I mean, that was a big thing. Well, yeah, because I kind of had Jep's approach in the moment. I just didn't say it out loud. I did to you. But, you know. And we had been trained to not trust women. Well, I wasn't going to say this earlier. I mean, literally, our dad was like, literally, don't trust them, boy.

I hate to say this because I love my dad and we became the best of friends in the Lord. Me too. But, you know, even on my wedding day, he was like, never trust her, Jess. You know, that's. That's a lot stick with a young man. You think? It was great marriage for a few years. Dad has said a lot of great things, but when it came to marriage stuff, he didn't really know.

Well, he was wrong on that. And it set me back for, you know, I'd say seven, eight years. Because I did have trust issues for no reason. But, you know, but I will say this, and this is how simple this was. I was reading 1st Corinthians 13. Listen, I was actually talking about this yesterday. And love is so hard. We say it so much and the Bible is so much about it.

But you just read that simple 1st Corinthians 13 3 through 8 and say, go do this and get back with me. Let me know how good things will be if you do that. But my point is it's impossible. It's hard, yeah. Well, it's not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong. It always trusts, it always protects. I'm like, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.

But I remember reading that and just having an epiphany that love always trusts. And I thought, my dad was dead wrong on this. And I'm fixed to change that right now. I mean, in the moment. So I remember for the next year, because Missy, then I started noticing she would bring up this idea that I have trust issues. and I'm like, oh, no, I'm done with that. But it was still hard for her. Oh, I know you're saying that.

I'm like, oh, no, I had this. I read this verse. And she's like, yeah, yeah. Right. But, you know, it's hard to undo four or five years of stupidity. But it also, Jay's that passage is, you know, we've been talking about a lot in First John because we hadn't gotten there yet, but God is love. So I think when you see Paul's description that the just sheer purity of God's love, when you read that passage. and the power of that.

And you're right. We can never be there. We're human beings. We're never going to live up to any standard 100%. But even the striving towards that purity to be that person in a relationship and to see it is unbelievable because my deal is, so I had every reason not to trust, obviously, because Lisa violated that trust. But then, so my deal was how do we put it back together?

How do we, this thing is broken into so many pieces. How could we possibly put it back together? And you have two daughters. Right. And they're wounded and, you know, and they were still, we see things from that era of our life that they have to deal with because of that. But Lisa has a beautiful illustration in our presentation where she talks about, I think it's the Japanese that, you know, and they take a broken vessel and they put it back together with the gold in lay. I'm actually going to do that in a few weeks. Are you really?

And so, well, you probably studied it. So the idea is that it's more valuable once put back together than it even was before. And I love that idea. And that's exactly what our relationship is. And so a lot of people have asked me through the years. Because, you know, I speak to a lot of people that are going through infidelity and did just this past weekend. And so their thing is, how could I possibly trust again? I mean, love always trust.

But, I mean, how do you do it? And I always say the same thing. In your own power, you can't. but I always ask them, because this is what got me, do you trust God? Do you trust him to be faithful to you no matter what? Well, yeah, I trust him, but I can't trust her. I understand, but you have to start someplace.

And if the trust in God is powerful enough, and if you can make your peace with him, he can help you figure out how to do it the other way. He did for me, and it took a while, but he did it. But that's what got me through those early weeks and months was the idea that the only person I could lean on was God fully. Because everybody had advice about what you should do. But only God was big enough for me to just give that to him and then let him deal with me coming back. And so that's exactly what got us through.

And it helps people to this day because if you can't extend forgiveness, then you can't love again. I mean, that's part of the love process. That's exactly why God loves us so much. He forgave us. Well, it was such a powerful story. What changed my heart on it was it became beyond human. The transformation was so great. After a while, I thought, this is the power of God.

Working in people's life. Well, this is what I've been sharing. This is what we do. And I'm seeing it. So it actually went from one of my lowest points. where I was just filled with emotion. And I don't think you can beat yourself up about it. You know, I love my brother.

He was hurt. And, you know. And I've never held anything against anybody. Which is another testimony of God's grace. So I actually remember the first time that they got a term life insurance policy. It was right after Layla was born. I thought if something happens to me, Jill and Layla was going to happen to my family. So we've kept term life insurance policies ever since.

Do you remember when you got your first term life insurance policy? I do. My kids were young, but I was in the school of preaching, and a very kind and generous man who sold insurance, and so term life insurance, bought my first policy for me. So it was a very generous thing, but it also taught me the importance of it as well. Yeah, I highly recommend every single person that has a family get a term life insurance policy. And that's why I want to tell you about Fabric by Gerber Life. It's a term life insurance policy that you can get done today.

It's made for busy parents just like you. It's all online, all on your schedule right from your couch, and you can be covered in as little as 10 minutes with no health exam required. So if you get kids, especially if you're young and you're healthy, the time to lock in your low rates is now. And even if you have life insurance to your current employer, the problem is that it might not be enough protection for you or it may not follow you and your family if you ever lead your job.

So join the thousands of parents who trust fabric to help protect their family, apply today in just minutes at meetfabric.com slash unashamed. That's meatfabric.com slash unashamed. M-E-E-T Fabric.com slash unashamed. Policies are issued by Western Southern Life Assurance Company not available in certain states. Prices are subject to underwriting and health questions. In fact, she wrote all y'all a letter. Oh, yeah. And asking for forgiveness. And again, nothing, I wasn't prompting anything during this era. We were apart. So everything St. Lisa did those first few weeks and months. She was doing on her own with other people around her. There was a group of ladies here that surrounded her and helped her, you know, just get off

that ground and get going, you know, which kind of miss is one thing I want to talk about today before we run out of time is the idea of mentoring because that's what got Lisa through and brought her to the place now. And now both of you are women who mentor others. And some of that comes with age, but not always age, spiritual maturity, I think, to help people. So I know you're doing some of that. So talk a little bit about that. This has been totally led by God. But Kendall, Phyllis's daughter-in-law, is the one that came to me one day and said, I think that you should do a mentorship-type weekend to where you speak into young ladies my age. And she had been through some things that had asked my advice.

And I mean, we weren't super close at the time. But then the whole thing with little man dropping from the sky and Brighton and I started talking every single day, just I was trying to survive, you know, she helping me and me helping her with raising a baby. And I got kind of close with both of them in two different ways and for two different reasons. And so Kendall said, what you're doing. should be shared with other ladies my age that just don't have what you grew up with, you know, because I grew up with all of these older ladies speaking into me, and I thought

that was normal. Yeah. I thought every Sunday a parenting Bible class or a marriage class on Wednesday nights, another night in an older lady's home, going to showers almost every weekend celebrating people's marriages and babies. I was telling Jayce, I was like, people don't do this anymore. Yeah. I'm ordering lots of presents online, wrapping them and taking them even when I can't go.

And that's kind of what I was trained to do growing up, that you're there to support and celebrate people's, their big moments. And they're not being taught that. Young ladies are not being taught that these days. And so I was like, I mean, what do we do? Just put it out there on social media and, like, will people come? And she said, oh, yeah. So she, Kendall is the one who handled all of that for me. And I would just show up at Logtown and there'd be a dozen or so young ladies.

And I kind of have a format now of what I feel works for them and what they need to hear, what I've learned through my own mentors about what happens in your 20s, how everything that you've been through in your life, especially traumas, starts manifesting in your 20s and starts coming out. So if you don't learn how to deal with that in a healthy way, it's promiscuity, it's drugs, it's alcohol, it's abuse, verbal, physical. And if you already have children, you're taking it out on your children and so forth and so on. And how can we leave that behind in your 20s right now and not pick that up again? So don't pass it on to your children, your husband, and the next generation.

How can we stop that? I have a degree in nothing. But I have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of me, and I've been mentored by wonderful older ladies. And so I just share over the course of two and a half days, three days, of how they can really step forward into the path that Jesus wants for them. And that's a relationship with him first and ignoring all of the noise of controlling parents and demonizing people around. you and your abusive whatever that you've had in your life to learn how to step away from all of that and lead your family in the right path for Jesus Christ. So good.

And, babe, you brought some of your, Lisa does a presentation. A lot of times it's a marriage thing, could be a women's thing like you and Jay's did, where we split, and I do the guys and Lisa does the gals. And I do usually come out of Job third. Let me say one more thing before we shift is that when I put this out there, there's a lot of pushback on what people are calling age discrimination, which is funny to me. But it's really hard to mentor people that are my age.

I mean, we can because, I mean, you're mentoring can mean a lot of things. But the way that I'm doing it is for this generation. And when you're famous and you're a celebrity, but you're in a very, intimate setting like that, it's a little difficult. Yeah. And so over two years, it's taken two years to bring this program to where we fully believe that it's run the right way it brings the right generation of young women in this intimate setting.

But we're also right now in the planning stages of a larger conference. Yeah. so that women of all ages can come. So from a stage, it will feel and look a little different. It'll still be very transparent. And I have a team of women. It's not just me. I have a team of women who help me.

And we'll be expanding that to include my mentors and also some of the women that I've mentored. So it's going to be all encompassing in terms of, please let me come. I want you to mentor me, which you can only do on a relationship basis. So, and then also women who are saying, teach me how to be a mentor. Well, I don't really know how to do that. You're figuring that out as you go, right? I'm just doing what I feel like the Lord. So we're going to accomplish all of these questions from women age 22 all the way up until, you know, 80s, whatever,

so that women feel a part of either receiving what they are longing for or being able to give what they've learned over, you know, their whole entire lives. So I'm super, super excited and looking forward to that. That's spring of next year. That's going to be fantastic. Well, be sure and let us know so we can let folks know. Oh, I will, for sure. But like you said, women in their 50s and 60s are at a different place than those women in their 20s and 20s and, you know, early 30s.

So I agree with you. You need to start earlier because it's a whole different conference for 55 and 60-year-old women. You know? That's right. You did them with a lot of regrets. That's exactly right. And also, Missy, your approach is very biblical because it's exactly what Paul told Timothy. It was like, this is the way it should work.

The older women train the younger. So the idea is your training to then impact as you go through life. But all of us, as we've talked about on the first half of this podcast, you know, people have different places. They come into their relationship with Christ. And, of course, for some people it is older. But that's another conference. So share a little bit about the stuff from Proverbs 31 because Missy, you do this, some of this stuff. On Friday night, actually, yes.

So whenever Al and I speak together, we do lovable and respectable. But I'm just going to talk about what my lovables are. Because we flip the Ephesians 533 when it says husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church and wives respect your husbands. And so we make the point that we therefore want to try to be as lovable and respect. as possible. So that's our challenge to the audience. So I call this what my lovable traits are. And I take a lot of them, or most of them actually out of Proverbs 31. The first one is she infuses confidence in her husband. And to me, that means that you are always building him up, lifting him up. And I tell women all the time, No one will ever build my husband up more than I will.

I won't allow it, you know. He will always know how important he is, how much I respect him, that kind of thing. The second one is brings good, not harm. To me, that's his name. That's who he is. And if a man has a wife that is not bringing good to him, then he's not. he's not respected at the city gate. Yeah, that was the verse.

Yeah. And so that's the second one. I go through it a lot more, you know, whenever I'm talking to a group. The third one is works to strengthen the household. She works with eager hands. And a lot of times, you know, I say this is not, you know, sitting on the couch and, you know, looking at Facebook or TikTok or. Snapchat or.

Yeah, Snapchat. This is actually, you know, doing things that will make your family prosper, you know. And, you know, just to be a person who, if you're a stay-at-home mom, that's fine. But, you know, then you need to do what moms do at home. You know, you need to take care of your family. So we talk a lot about conviction, knowing what you believe in and standing firm. And we want our kids to do the same thing, which is why we love bread.

Brave books. Jayce, you also know one of the authors. My lovely wife joined with Brave Books on this project, which produce a book that we've read to our little ones hundreds of times because you're my family. It's a great book about unconditional love. Jeff and Jessica also wrote a book called Dear Valor, which is a really sweet story about adoption and being chosen. Brave books help parents teach kids things like courage, forgiveness, and the

fruit of the spirit through stories that kids actually want to read. Every book has discussion questions and games at the end, so it naturally sparks family conversations. We're huge fans of brave books, and we want you to check them out and subscribe. You're going to love it to. When you subscribe, you'll get a brand new book every month and a free bonus bundle, plus the two books that are written by our family that we have here with us for free. Let's raise brave, unashamed kids in a confusing world. Go to bravebooks.com slash unashamed. Use the code unashamed to get 20% off your first order. That's bravebooks.com slash unashamed. Code unashame for 20% off. Our fourth one is manages family. She gets up while it's still dark, and she provides food for her family.

And this is the one I always have a problem with because I do not get up while it's still dark. Well, thank goodness for modern electricity and gas stoves, because we would be trying to get that fire hot. This is more of a sunset girl, not a sunrise. I'm a sunset girl, not really a sunrise girl. She said recently when we spoke, she said, I don't know how many sunrises I've seen and I held my hand up above her head with four, you know, maybe four.

Maybe four, yeah. But I can't tell you how many sunrises, I mean sunsets that I've seen. So, you know, for me, this is, you're just making sure there's food in the home. You're making sure that because to me, this is. what God gave us the responsibility to do, is to make sure that the clothes are washed. The kids are trained in the ways of the Lord. And these are the things that we do at home. The old saying, when mama ain't happy, nobody's happy. And that has a lot of truth in it. And so you set the tone for the home. I also think that in this part is where I always want Alan to come home.

I want our home to be a place that that he comes to for rest and that he escapes what the world has and he comes to our home. So that means I have to manage our home well. And whenever he walks in the door, it's not, okay, you need to get on to Susie and Jeff and they did this and this, you know. So that's not what that means. There is a time for that. But also I want him to be eager to walk through those doors and to see us and to see us. see his family, exudes compassion. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. Missy, this is kind of where you were talking about a while ago. You know, I remember whenever I was a

young woman growing up, you know, growing up, and I will say growing up, even after I was married, I was still growing up. But remember, we used to take food to people when they had babies. There was a funeral, you would take food to it. I mean, somebody was sick, you would take food to them. I still do. I still do. I have a funeral dish that I take every time because it works. It's called serving people.

But it's not what's being taught today like you were talking about. And so. Just give somebody a gift card and hope it works out for you. Exactly. Give somebody a restaurant. Which I'm responsible for doing because, I mean, I've done that before because I just didn't have time to take food. but just to be compassionate to other people and see where they are.

I remember when Kay would take you boys over to college point or someplace. Or, you know, over to another family that went to church with us. Y'all didn't have anything, but they had less than y'all did. Oh, yeah. And she still would take food over to them, you know? Yeah, she taught us how to be servants. Yeah, so just to be a compassionate person. And you know, whenever I see somebody that's hurting, I don't go, well, that's, you know, that's your fault.

I mean, you see what you did. But instead to just say, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure how you got to that point. But let's talk about it. You know, let me help you with where you are. Maintains a sense of humor. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.

and so much of this is we take life so seriously that we forget to laugh, we forget to be joyful. We don't always have to be happy because happiness has to do with circumstances. But joyful is something that's something we get from the Lord. Holy Spirit. So we should be always joyful. Even in sadness, we can still be joyful. And then I also think about, I allow. allow Al to laugh at me a lot, you know, whenever I do things that are funny.

She falls a lot. And now the security cameras pick up almost every fall. And so the last time I said this, I said, but guys, this doesn't mean making fun of your wife. That crosses another line. This is just having fun. Seeing people see you have fun is, they're going to want their marriage to be that way. And so, you know, you're just, you're just exuding a sense where somebody says, I want that. I want that in my life. I figured that as a preacher a long time ago, if I make fun of myself first, then I can make fun of other people and they're not offended about it. But if I only make fun of other people and never make fun of myself, then there's a problem, you know. I think that's where comedy and humor comes from. If you're perfect, well, there's

There's nothing to laugh about. That's exactly right. Or if you think you are. Yeah, right. So my last one is she fears the Lord. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. You know, charm is what I used for a lot of years. And it was deceptive.

My beauty now is fleeting. I see that at 60. But at the same time, I want to exude a beauty of what Christ has done inside me and that he lives inside of me. And so that joy and that peace and that comfort and just the grace, that's what I want to come out of that. And if you fear the Lord, people want to be around that too. It's just like, it's almost, what's the word I'm trying to think of? Contagious. Yeah.

Contagious. Yeah. Contagious. You know? Well, it was just like when we visited the movie set, we took the actors that are playing us out to dinner the night before. And they're in their 30s. And the little actress that's playing Lisa is a beautiful young woman. But she looked at Lisa because we were talking about that.

Lisa's like, oh, yeah, I mean, when I was young. And she looked at Lisa and she said, but you're so beautiful now. And I knew what she meant. I mean, yes, just physical beauty, but she wasn't talking about that. She was talking about the story. I mean, she's playing Lisa. And she knows all the stuff that she's going to have to reproduce. And she's going to be the one laying out in the backyard.

I mean, that scene's in the movie. And so, but what she saw was what you just said. A woman who fears the Lord or a man is that inner strength that comes out. Well, so beautiful about Proverbs 31, you know, it's a poem, and it's not a list of do this. Right. It's how this woman goes about it. I mean, like verses stick out to me, the one that says in verse 26, where she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction. Yeah.

And in verse 10, a wife of noble character, which that word, I did a deep dive on it at some point in my life. It's also used for people in the military back then. And it wasn't that they were in a battle. It was how they were going about it. And so to me, that's what makes it beautiful because it has wisdom at its core, which the whole book is about. And that's not something that just hits you.

It's forged over time and through that. And people see this, and they're like, man, the faithfulness, I mean, you never underestimate. someone who's faithful to their creator, first of all, and then to their husband. But I love it because it's King Lemuel's mother who wrote it. Oh, yeah. So she's telling him. Maybe.

It could have been him, actually. They don't know for sure. That's right. Exactly. But I mean, but to me, I'm thinking as a mom and you tell your son, look, this is the type of woman you want to look for. These are the qualities here. Well, what I just learned recently is that this woman's not real.

Like, I've been in church my entire life, and this was always who you should become. However, she doesn't exist, which is really a load off. Because all of these qualities, yes, I want and I strive. There's just no way that you can be this woman every day of your life. Now, I've been this woman every single person. part of her at different times in my life. That is attainable, but not all at the same time. So just throw that off your shoulders.

Which is why the Holy Spirit actually wrote it. But the standard is high. But y'all should keep trying. Thank you, Zach. We would like for you all to keep. It's good to have the bar up there. Y'all need to give us a reason to you every day. You know, I'm married to a very respectable man,

And so I will be as lovable as I possibly can. You're very lovable. And we're out of time. Sadly, that went by very fast. But it's always a pleasure when the wives are on. So next time we'll get Jill on as well for her wisdom. So thank you for coming. Thanks for listening to the Unashamed podcast.

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