Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 195 | When Phil Kicked Miss Kay Out, How Lisa Told Al the Truth, Double Lives, and Desperation | Ep 195

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

Miss Kay and Lisa Robertson sit down in the Unashamed Lair with Phil and Al. After roasting Jase in his absence, the ladies open up about what it's really like to be a Robertson woman. Miss Kay reveals what attracted her to Phil, what she had against nice boys, how their first date went, and why Phil dumped her when they were teenagers. Lisa explains how she and Al got together, what their relationship was like when she just thought she was a Christian, and how she told Al the truth about her affair. This sets the stage for a candid discussion of the ways we justify sin, living a double life, and the desperate moments that lead to healing when we cry out for God. Desperate Forgiveness: https://www.amazon.com/Desperate-Forgiveness-Al-Robertson/dp/1589970314 Happy, Happy, Happy: https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Life-Legacy-Duck-Commander/dp/1476726108 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? So it's Ladies' Day on Unashamed podcast. Or as I would put it, strange creatures. Women are strange creatures. I want you to know it's somebody looking at you and then saying women are strange characters are creatures. I don't know if they believe you. Perfect normalcy is scary to people.

Well, you know, I love it when dad will say, like, about Gordon or somebody, you know, he's got to look about him. Oh, yeah. And then I love it because people look back at Dad like, you've got to look about you. Yeah, and, you know, when he preaches, I know I met somebody that did know Duck Duns, not familiar, but they were there that day.

And I heard him say, is that the preacher? Well, you look at Gordon and you know, not only it's a little weird, but he ain't from around here. That's right. Well, one thing is he's got a giant head. I mean, like, birds could be attracted to that head. It's just, you know, I don't know if it's because he's got a big brain in there or not. He is pretty smart. Pretty good-sized brain.

And he's working on our new book. Sure is. Yeah, and it's really good, you said. You've been reading some of it. That's excellent. So, babe, this is your first. This was Lisa's first. First time on Unashay.

First time. You're excited about it? Yeah. You're sitting in Jayce's seats. Oh, gosh. Goodness gracious. That means you're going to have to. So I asked Lisa.

Do I have to talk stock market if I sit right here? You have to talk stock market and you have to interrupt dad as much as possible. That's the role you have to play. I asked Lisa about it. She said, I said, have you ever listened to the podcast? She said, well, I did a time or two, but it's so hard listening to Jace ramble on. And interrupt. And interrupt.

That's what he does. Not that Phil is never interrupted. back. Well, look, Mom, you'll be, there's a woman named Grace from Canada, a listener, and she said, I know that I read last time Jace was here, and it said, um, Jace does interrupt some, but you've got to understand, it's just the love of Jesus that flows out. He just can't stop it from coming out. That was Grace's tape. If only she knew, that he has been arguing with me since he was three years old. So I would like for her to hear some of that. We might need to hear some of that, especially since he's not here.

Well, just put us together. But you say what you want to about old Jace. He is one godly man. He really is. He is. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's great. He's a straight arrow.

There's no doubt about that. But the Bible should have said more words about arguments. Have nothing to do with foolish arguments. What about that verse, Mom? Yeah, I need to blow that up. Stupid genealogy. Put it on his wall. Mom, you know, he said, Mom, that,

the reason that you and he didn't get along was because you didn't get his humor for his whole childhood. He was, he was. Nobody got that humor. Because it was just joking and you just didn't. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was. I'm sure he was.

Now he just looked at me and said, I'm just going to live my life aggravating her and arguing with her. He still does. So I want you out to start today. I wanted y'all to basically give our audience, because mom's been. on a couple of times. But usually it's been more, more male. So we're balanced.

We're fair and balanced today. So I want to hear about what it's like being a Robertson from the women's side. Because our audience totally gets it from the male side because they get it every time to listen to a podcast. But I want them to hear what's it like to be a Robertson. You aren't, I mean, both of you came in young. So you basically grew up because y'all were, I mean, you were, what, 16 when we first got together?

Actually, you were 15. We first started dating, yeah. And you were about 14 when you first started running with dad, right? That's correct. So basically, y'all have kind of come into this family, and I've been in it for most of your lives. So what's it like being Robertson, let the audience know. And I've been a Robertson twice as long as I was a Gibson

because I've been married 36 years now. Yep. And Gibson, by the way, is Jimmy Redd is a Gibson. He's at least his nephew. a little of the few others out here in the Wow Wow West. That's exactly. That's exactly. That could be a whole podcast, just what it's like to be Gibson.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be on it. In Miller, that's right. Yeah. Those are two combinations. Let's see, what it's like to be a Robertson. Tell about when you first came in.

Misunderstood. not appreciated not listened to that's right what is the what was dad's rule remember when you first came in the when we got together the second time and we got married what was what was dad's rule about women because you were the first one so

well he said you got to convert them or cull them and I didn't want to be called she didn't want to be cold I'd already called her once you know one time so she'd want to be cold again, which is pretty funny. What about you, Mom? You're ready for me to really talk about that? I am. Okay. I want to hear it.

Especially back when it all first started, because you kind of, your family, I don't know, you weren't rich by any standard, but you had some means. We were the richest people in our town. Well, there you go. Well, for what, 300 people? 200. We had the only, I guess that's better

than the other 194. And guess what? We had the biggest store, hardware store, grocery store and all that. So I didn't act like a little rich girl though even though I was that. I didn't want to be like that. And that's what attracted me

to him because well, you know, not only was he good looking, you know, he didn't have all this, but he, I just liked his look. Then I found out he hunted, he fished, that was just like my daddy and I love that about my daddy.

And I would help him clean everything, the dubs, the quail, the squirrels, I held the legs and all that. So I like that man, that kind of man. Pioneer man, right? Yes, it was a pioneer. And my mama wanted me to date all these other boys, but, oh, they were too nice, if you know what I mean. And, I mean, I said, I can open my own door, you don't, you don't have to do that.

You're just wasting time. I'm ready to go. So, you know, that was just me. I didn't care for all that. And I didn't get it with this one. this was the early 60s, right? Yeah. Yeah.

This is the time period we're talking about. She still had sort of the chivalrous gentleman and all that, but dad was not that, right? He was more just kind of the woodsman. Yeah, I like that about him. He's good-looking. And I did, you know, I'd like football to this day. So what was your first date with dad? Do you remember it?

Well, somebody else set it up. That's what's funny. A girl that was an upperclassman decided that we'd make a cute couple. So she told me to walk him off the field that he wanted me to. And he told Phil that I wanted him to walk off with me on the football field. That's how we got together. So you were a cheerleader? Yeah, I was a cheerleader.

And he was a quarterback. That's right. Good, too. He was very good. And so that's how we started. And then it just kept going. But see, when we first dated, I know he won't remember this, right? but we first dated after that meeting and all that then he broke up with me in duck season

or hunting season because he said I would interfere with his time so I thought just being honest yeah that was it so I was like okay now I really you know think about I want to marry you and you're breaking up with me with me because I'm interfering with your hunting season I should have got some clues there but so we were not together and we both and then he just like lied because he dated somebody else not regularly but one or two or three women girls and then I had two or three four boy dates but I mean I just was I knew he was a woman but I was like back then the girls didn't chase the boys you waited you know and when my again that was part of the era yes right so when in May when my daddy died and you were 14 yes yes and it was

It was in May, middle of May, and so a lot of my friends and other people came to, a lot of young people were there at the funeral. And I saw him at the funeral. So then after the funeral, I saw him, he walked up to me. And I don't know, you know, he said he was sorry about my dad. And then he just said, you want to go out? Well, I said, of course, I do. So, you know. So that hook up, then we never were apart again.

Yeah. I tell y'all's story some because I've got a picture that I found somewhere of that era. You're about that age. It may not be exactly 14, but 15, 17, whatever. Sitting by a car. You're sitting on the hood and he's standing by the car. Leaning the back against the car. And so I love telling that story about y'all because it also kind of came out of obviously a very painful part of your life.

And then I tell the story about your mom kind of went off the deep end. So then you really just... Then we were dating at the same time. Me and my mom. I know. And I got home earlier than her. She wasn't exactly bringing in the best people either, right? No, she wound up with being married a little while to a nice guy that was nice to me.

But it was just, she was, I was more in her, you know, she just wanted to move on with her in her new life. And so I looked at Phil as a replacement for my dad because he was a hunter and fisherman that he was. And also as a protector, I knew that no matter what, like the Cowboy Days, he would keep me from being killed or being hurt. But then what happened was when we went to Tech, because we had Allen on the way. So there I was at 16 pregnant. And then we go to Tech. And I turned 17. And Dad was just starting at Tech.

He was 18, right? Yeah. So I had, you know, I was pregnant with you. So I had you in January, and, you know, there it was a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old or 19, whatever he was, raising a baby. And I said, well, the way I look at it, I never was one to keep little children or do all that. Because I always had baby cats, baby dogs, baby sheep, everything, lambs. You know, I took care of animals.

So I said, well, how different could it be to take care of you and a little baby kitten? so you know I would rock you and hold you but I mean that's how dumb I was about being a mother I'm glad you did I guess I'm still here so you did something right well you know that you know I told you that I would bring that little black and white TV in your room you're in the baby bed and I tell you every time we're watching the Dallas Cowboys and he would just jump up and down and clap his hands and I did that for four years you're the reason I was a cat I've been a cowboy That's right. And that he learned.

And all he would say, if I said football, he said, cowboys. He said, cowboy. And he never got off of it. Like flash memories. Unfortunately, they're usually of like, because I was a lot of accidents when I was a little bitty boy. I remember some deer antlers fell on my head. I fell one time and hit the corner of the car and then big old wide things when you open the door and just split this eyebrow. But I can remember it.

I guess it's because of the pain or trauma. So I have these like flash memories. of when I'm like three or four years. Every one of those I took you to the doctor and you got treated. You took care of me. Just like a good kitten, I guess. Yeah, a good little puppy dog. Yeah, good them to the vet.

But I think that's why you're obedient now. I mean, you're just, you know, like a good dog. That's right. You train me well. So, Lisa, I told the story about one of our first dates when we went to the fish market. We went to the fish market and they didn't take the fish. So I told that story on the podcast recently. But tell about the story of our actual first day, and how that came to be.

We tell it all the time when we go speak. Before we do that, let's take a quick break. In the old days, that's what we'll call it. Our Kay calls it the Olden Days. Thank you. This would have been early 80s is the time frame, 81, 82. Yeah, we would drive around through McDonald's, in and out of the parking lot of McDonald's. and so I was driving through one night and I saw my cousin and Bubba.

Remember a big Bubba? Yeah, I do. And so he stopped me and I was talking to him and I had already met Alan when I was in the sixth grade and fell in love with him, I think then. But whenever I saw him and I was in the 10th grade, you know, I fell in love all over again. but so I see Bubba and he pulls me over and we we start talking and then a head comes in my window and it was Alan and he said wow so what I think is wow means wow means you filled out yeah exactly what it means it's redneck for you filled out wow yeah it's redneck language because he hadn't seen me since I was in the sixth grade. She was a little scrawny thing when she used to

trapes around after me in middle school and all of a sudden I was like whoa you know there's been some growth here. Yeah. So anyway so he said well hey when are we going out and I said well whenever you ask so he said okay let's go out tomorrow I was okay he said well you want to meet me here that was the first time at the drive through that was the first sign of trouble My mother was not... Most people needed the drive-thru, you know. Yeah. We didn't.

No, y'all met at the drive-in probably. I haven't been through a drive-thru in so long. And that's where I've met my wife. So what was funny is my mother didn't like that idea, that we were going on a date. Which she shouldn't have. And we were meeting at McDonald's. I wasn't, by the way, so the audience knows, which she's fixing to fill you in, but I wasn't of the best character.

This was during the prodigal era we've talked about before. Yeah. So I met you there. Everybody has to realize this is all pre-conversion for anybody involved. That's exactly right. Yeah. So I met you there and you had two of my cousins with you that night. Bubba and Tracy.

Which is a normal day. No, I think it was Mike. That was Tracy. A normal date. You bring a couple of cousins, you know. I never heard. I've never heard of that. Well, it was like a double date, but it was just two guys.

Well, they were brothers. Well, I said, why did you bring them? And he said, it's a double date. I'm like, but they're boys. But they had access to alcohol and marijuana. That was why they were. That's right. Lisa was introduced to that world.

And I was a great thing. Yeah, I was not part of that or had not been part of that yet. And so by the end. of the night, our date ended, and we're in a strip club, parking lot. We're in front of the Chilar Lounge over in Monroe. In Monroe. It used to be over there on 18th Street, the Shalar. It was a strip.

There was the only strip club that's ever been in Munro, I think. So that's where we were. I'm not familiar with that. I've never heard this story. Did you not read our book, Phil? I don't know whether we got off on the right foot or not here. No, trust me, we did not. We did not.

That's right. We did correct it. We ended that night with me and Alan on the back seat and him passed out. And I'm just in the parking lot of this strip club. And then both my cousins, Mike and Bubba, are in the strip club. Because we weren't old enough to go in. That sounds like a nightmare to me. It was a nightmare.

It was terrible. It was. And you would think that that would have, that would, would have been the worst but it wasn't it was it got worse so we were so we were together a few months and this was the time dad i had had other girlfriends and other issues and one of their one of my former girlfriends before leases's dad came down and confronted y'all about me and my behavior and it was all true but i lied of course about it and finally oh i was i was the perfect little liar no doubt about it and i was living a double life

I mean, I was just, it was, I tried to look good in church and all that stuff, but I wasn't. I was terrible. And I, and I always look at it from y'all's perspective that, because Jason is always like, oh, they just never wanted to look at it. I said, but yeah, parents never do. Like, you love your children. You just wouldn't think they'd be capable of what they're doing. And you get into it sometimes. This is the evil one. He just had my heart, and I was serving him. And one of my greatest regrets, and I said all the time with Lisa, is that when I met her, She was a good girl. I mean, she had had, you know what, we talked about a lot on the podcast, you'd been molested.

So she had all that past stuff that affected who she was, but I'm the one that corrupted her. I'm the one that led her down the bad path. And so it's interesting because all these years later, after being married so long, and us, you know, obviously when I came back to the Lord, I reached out to Lisa, and it started the process that's our whole life now. But Dad set me down in this era and just, said because I was 17. Lisa and I had been together a little while. And of course, she was just in love with me, but she was just a girl to me.

I didn't feel about her the same way. And dad was like, you've got to either straighten up or hit the road. You know, it's just, he gave me a clear choice, you know, which looking back on it, I tell people all the time, that was a love speech because what happened was you knew the path I was on. Not only was I going to crash and burn, but I was going to take down brothers and the rest of the family. And you had to do the right thing.

And you did it. The problem was I wasn't ready. So I was defiant. And so I left and left in a bad way. And of course, that is when I ditched Lisa at the same time. And so her life went into a tailspin from there too. You weren't defiant to me. You were defined to what I said, but you didn't show it.

No. That's right. Well, and because I respected you. And I also knew that deep down you were right. You know, when you're living the double life, You know it's wrong. Yeah. That's the thing about it.

I mean, it's not like you're like, oh, no, this is fine. Because why are you doing it in secret? It's like you describe somebody going out stealing horses. Why do they do it at night? You know, you can claim, I want to live my life the way I want to live it, but why are you being so secretive about it? Because you know it's something. You know.

You do. But even your conscience tells you it's still wrong. So one of the things I want to talk about, because I think it's interesting, something that we share together is that, and I hadn't thought about it until y'all were going to be on, is that so obviously both of us went into our relationship with a lot of baggage, right? I mean, dad had a 10-year run there of not being a Christian, built up a lot of... The devil. That's what I called him.

But it was interesting because I was doing the math, and that was about 12 years from when you guys first got together. And so for Lisa and I, it was about 15 years after we had been together, that then it was just a crash and burn. I mean, for y'all back in that day, and then for us, 15 years and ours. So I want to talk a little bit about that because it's interesting that it seems to be sometimes you can build something up through the years. And I know there's a lot of couples and people that are listening that are probably going through something like that right now or about to. And so I want to give them some hope as to. There's a mighty throng of them going through stuff like this. Exactly.

And it's no magical year, but you get into that, you've been together a few years and you've built up a lot of bad habits, and then you just, then it turns into conflict. And so I can remember that because in our case, I was there as a boy when y'all were going through it. But then later, Lisa and I go through almost the exact same thing as you guys. But the different, you know, it was her and more, and in my case it was him. Not that we were perfect, but, you know, the main ones that did the things. Think about it, Al. When you get right down to it, the entire human race goes through it.

Absolutely. When you get old enough to be accountable. Right. And you begin to defy God and the sinning starts. Everybody goes through that. That's right. Which is why I believe this book that's in front of me, because it tells us that.

That's exactly right. So we already have the report here. It is written. All have seen, you know, they've none good, doing good. They all turned away. Well, every last one of them worldwide. And a lot of them don't make the comeback, but a percentage of them do. That's what you're trying to impress upon people is the longer you stay in that frame of mind and lifestyle,

the longer bad stuff then attaches to you and how you operate, and the more damage it causes, usually in your relationship. The sad part is most wants to cut off. A lot of them don't know God. They don't know where to go. They don't know where to look. They're in the rehab. They're in the prison.

They're in this. They're in that. The devastation. The drugs, they just keep it. It's just a rolling thunder. And the only way out is the one each of us found. Right. Which.

It is, it is way better. Oh. I would say that's for sure. And I think, too, the longer you're in it, the more Satan's got his claws into you. And he continues to tell you that you're too bad, that, you know, there is no salvation for that. And that nobody could love you like you are. You're not worth any of that. That's exactly right.

So I think the longer you're in it, that's more of that detrimental thing that happens is that because, as you've said before, sin progresses. And so you get worse and worse and worse. And then I think you justify it. You think what you're doing is okay. You're not as bad as the guy next door, you know. I feel what is as bad or worse than the guy next door. But he didn't feel like he was. Oh, no.

Hang on, Dan. Let's take another break. Well, it's biblical. But interesting little text here. Let's see. Listen to this one. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? which is a good way of putting it.

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death. So it's a life or death. We are speaking about life and death moments in our past.

That's exactly right. And that's why you tell your story, which becomes Jesus' story, as a cautionary tale for everybody else, because you don't want people to go through what you went through. Why would you want people to suffer like that?

That shows you the way God works, because you can see, you know, like for me, staying 10 years through that. It was like I said, I know what war is like. Yeah. Because I live with him for 10 years as a, you know, devil person.

And so, I mean, you know, other people would say, how did you do that? See, they want to know what the, how it started, where it was, and what happened at the end. Because they said, obviously, y'all are together and the happy family, and we are. But they told me they want to hear the bad and the good and the ugly, every bit of it.

So I think when we do that, then they see how God works. And especially, like in my case, by staying, because my family said don't stay. His family told me, don't stay with him. I mean, he's too mean, he's too bad and all that. Well, I had to sit on the words of my grandmother about not leaving my marriage. I was set that it was supposed to be.

And she said, you won't ever get a divorce because you're going to stay married. So I thought I would stay married. Yeah. And then nine years into it, or maybe right at nearly the 10 mark, you know, he kicked us all out. Thank you.

But so we got in our little vets wagon, three boys. Took off to West Monroe. Yep. And all the stuff we could carry in that vots wagon. Thank you. But what's ironic, Mom, is that a few months after that, or I don't know the time frame, but when dad came back,

you basically gave him the same choice he gave me. That's right. All those years later, it's like, I love you. I want you in the family, but you can't, it's not going to work with you the way. you are. Repentance comes slow to some. Exactly. By the way, just so y'all will know,

that was, and you'll laugh at this, but it's a true statement, that was the fastest 74 years I've ever spent on planet Earth. And the only 70th. This is how long it seems this took.

Yeah. I mean, it went and now I'm like, whoa. Yeah. I'm 74 years old. My next marker is 80.

Well, the average life expectancy for a male in these United States is 77. I'm like, let's see, I'm 74. You get 35, 76. I said, woo. It goes back quick. Oh, I remember when you were a little boy down at Louisiana Tech, but now your whiskers are gray like mine, too. I'm an old fart.

You know, no bad about it. So you think about it though, Mom, you're right. When that choice is then made, things change. And so for the audience, a lot of times I think people bail too early. All right. Because here's what happens. You go into another relationship. Like, with this, I married the wrong person.

You know, obviously we're fighting with this, or that, this happened. Someone had an affair. And so it's like, so you marry someone else. but typically then you have the same problems because people are still people and so like then sometimes the third marriage

or fourth marriage and so people have to look inwardly as to how did this where are we why is this happening what's the atmosphere because I always tell people nobody stands in front of a preacher

and says I do thinking that they want to get a divorce I mean that moment they're thinking I don't to be with this person the rest of my life I mean that's why I'm standing here that's why I'm saying the I do's that's why I'm giving my voice vow. Or that they want to have an affair.

That's right. Nobody's imagining that in that moment. So the evil one is the one setting the traps and for these things we don't have. And like Dad said, people feel like they have an unfilable hole. And I want you to talk about that because describe a little bit kind of what happened with us. You don't have to get the whole deal, but just kind of where we wound up. Because for them, it was 12 year mark. For us, it was 15. Well, we had been married for 15 years, but also at the five year mark. we kind of had a kind of a near miss an near miss um which is it just kind of an emotional connection you made with this person and and that should have sent us to a counselor yeah we should have dealt

with that then and for all the listeners out there you know if there is something that's a near miss you know somebody's emotionally involved with someone else please see a counselor there's a reason why you know and you need to get to the bottom of that but um for us we'd been married 15 years our girls were um i think 10 and 12 right around in that age and um i um was working for duck commander and an old boyfriend called that um i had dated back in high school and so as they say um small talk led to um bigger talk and and intimate talk and things of that nature. So I had an affair for 14 months.

And what is ironic about a person who is having an affair is that the one person they don't want to hurt is the person that they're hurting, and that's their spouse. I mean, I never wanted to hurt you, but it was all about the darkness that was inside of me. I know that in his heart, Phil didn't want to hurt Kay either, you know?

That's right. He didn't want nobody else to get man to tell you that. Yeah. So I used to drive down the road during this 14-month period, and I would pray for God to open a door. Just open a door. Just, you know, let me off of this roller coaster. And it was all.

Always honesty. Every single time the door that he would open would be honesty. So I had to tell the truth. But I had not told the truth since I was seven years old when I started being molested. You know, I couldn't tell anybody what was happening to me then. And we believe it built, and this wasn't even your fault. This was a seven-year-old kid. But someone else's sin against her was building up this, like, dishonesty.

thing that would come out all these years later. Let's take a quick break. And so I really couldn't tell anybody then, and then I really couldn't tell anybody with this either. All of my friends were Christians, so I really, you know, couldn't talk to anybody about it. But I know that the, you know, the honesty part, God kept saying you got to be honest. But I thought, if I'm honest, then Alan's going to know what I've been doing, and it's going to hurt him. And not only that, after the near miss, I had told you back then, if you ever do anything like this again, you're out of this marriage is over. So I had that kind of looming over her too, you know, just the idea is she tells the truth now, it's over. I've already said it out loud.

But I also thought, you know, you wouldn't love me if I told the truth, you know. And, you know, on the night that I did tell the truth, we call it truth vomit. because you had found out about it and found phone records. Oh, and I was like a CIA. He was a water border. Water border. I mean, you talk about get to the bottom of the truth because I knew now I had the proof. But she still, she was holding on to it so tight.

She just did not want to say the words, but I was not going to leave there without hearing truth that night. And I told him, I said, if I tell you what's been going on, you won't love me. You'll leave me. and he said if you don't tell me the truth you know I'm leaving and um so as as I vomited up the truth um once you got going I told it all you know I just I tell people that that is Psalm 51 you remember David when he finally got smoked out about by Shiva you read Psalm 51 it's just him going I mean I was terrible I couldn't have even even in the womb I had to be a sense because I'm so bad.

You know, it's just, when someone gets to that point of truth, then it comes out. But look, the dam has to break before you can get to any kind of healing or reconciliation. If you're not going to be truthful and honest, we can't find forgiveness. Go ahead. But you know, like I was talking about a while ago, you find a way to justify it. And I did. I found a way to justify what I was doing. But in that moment, when it all came out and whenever I heard my,

self say the things that I've been doing and I looked in the mirror and I thought how did I get here? Like where did I go so wrong at? Because you really don't recognize who you are whenever you take a really long look at yourself in the mirror whenever you've been in these sinful situations and you go who am I? How did I get there? And where did I fall off the track? But also at the same time, whenever I said it, whenever I was honest, it was like a weight was lifted off of me because I no longer had to be, you know, running from the truth and denying the truth and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. You told me that a double life is so exhausting. It is. You know, because you're constantly trying to keep this one from knowing what that is about.

And it's exhausting. Well, and the lies, you don't know who you've told what to to cover up, you know, one lie or another lie. So, you know, sometimes you get those mixed up also. What's ironic is Lisa felt relief from telling the truth. I felt relief from finally hearing the truth because I thought I was going crazy all this time because she's not saying she's doing it. I would have different periods when I thought well maybe

maybe she's not maybe I'm just missing this whole boat here and so like we were doing that dance for so long so I felt relief just like she did what was interesting was I didn't think we would stay married but then once a person has finally come clean

just like dad did too then all of a sudden you're open to something new when Jesus told those people that were trying to kill him he says you belong to your father the devil and you want to carry out your father's desire he was a murderer from the beginning not holding to the truth for there is no truth in him when he lies he speaks

his native language for he is a liar and the father of all eyes yeah if you look at that that's pretty powerful it's very powerful he's a very powerful being he is and and once you buy into the deceit oh then you're blinded And he just keeps it going. Just like Lisa was describing. You've heard Living the Lie, I mean, that's exactly right. That's him right there. So tell the audience what you did in that moment.

Like once you vomited that truth out, and I'm just kind of numb and, you know, but relieved. Tell them what you did. I went out into the backyard and laid down on the grass. and I told Alan if I could have I would have dug a hole because that was how low that I was feeling but at that point I said you know I thought I had a relationship with God I thought I knew who he was

I thought that I was a Christian at that point but I wasn't and so I just looked up I'm laying in the grass and I just look up and I'm like God if you're out there I don't know that I even believe that you are. I don't even know that I believe in you

or anything about this. But at this moment, I need you. And so if you're out there, if you are, you know, who I've heard that you are, would you please come and rescue me? And what's amazing is at that point, I felt that.

I felt that at that point, God came, and I think it was because of the openness that I had towards him. because I had never had an open heart to God before. But after spilling all of that out, I finally had an open heart to God. And he came. And I really felt that. And then I had a desire to learn more about the Bible, who he was, what my role was, what I was supposed to do.

And that was after my heart was over. open. So let's take one last break. And mom, I want you to tell the story because we've shared our three desperate moments. This is why we wrote the book Desperate Forgiveness, because when you get to that desperate place where there's nowhere else to go, that's when many times you finally turn to God, right? So the three of us told ours, tell about the, that when you were in the bathroom at the worst of it. Tell that, because to me, I think that's your desperate moment. It was. And he was. continually you know drinking the only thing I can say good about this he never

quit working he always supported me but he was just getting worse drinking and and he was actually had got hurt or something he was laid off a little while from working offshore and he was at the house so that became horrible because he was just drunk at my house because usually his drunkenness is out at the parties and the other women all that stuff so I remember coming home and he had been there, and I was late. And it was because I think it was something with a car or something, you know, and I had to go by and pick y'all up because he would never go get his children from daycare.

And so I came in, and then he just started on me because I was late that I was probably having an affair. And I just laughed almost because I thought, yeah, I've got so much time for an affair. It was just projecting that on the years when it was like. It was just like, and I was like, you know, I drive 40 minutes to work, I come back, I have to pick up my kids, usually have to go to the store, then I come home and I cook a good supper. I mean, I do all this. And so that night, I don't know what happened, it just hit me, you know, that he's just not going to change, you know, and I said, myself to God in that bathroom when I was crying, I just said, I've stayed. I mean, at that time, it's probably nine years or nine and a half or something, and I

said, I've stayed, I've been favorable, and now he's accusing me of being an adultery, you know, and all that. I mean, it was just like man, this is it. I mean, and that's when I was crying and crying. And of course, since we were in a trailer and you can hear everything

in the room next door, that's when I always talk about, I heard three little feet, I mean three sets of feet, wearing their house shoes. And I knew it was the boys and and uh alan said mama don't cry anymore he said god's going to take care of you and us and you know for that second because right before that second i said if i had a bottle of pills right now i would take them and i would just go to sleep and not have to worry about this anymore

and you know what else i thought then i hope he feels guilty to the day he died that's what i thought Yeah. And that was, by the way, that was the evil one knife in and on you now. That's correct. To check out, right?

That's right. So all four of us then, and that's the reason I want to talk about today on the podcast, because people respect us and love us, and we obviously share a lot about the Bible and a lot of good stuff. But I want people to know that

all four of us have been in a super desperate place. And we all messed up as teenagers. We fell short. But God was, always there until we were finally ready to say, God, we're ready, you know, to follow you. And that's why all four of us to spend our lives trying to help people and lead people to Christ. That's correct. You know, but people need to know that because there's a lot of desperate people out there.

They're in the same place we were in, you know. Peace of mind, it's rare. It's very rare. And the only way you find it is through accepting Christ and following Him, extending and receiving forgiveness and then commitment to life change because all four of us changed our lives and that's what changed everything for us but we remember the forgiveness so mom so recently we've we've told this before but we just had philis andtonio and we were talking about how that you know the night that we you know revealed to you guys that there may be a sister from that right before that same era

we're talking about from this lifestyle um your reaction was not you know a lot of women that find out there's a 44-year-old daughter from your husband are not going to, that's not going to be received well. In mom's case, she was like, oh, I've always wanted a daughter, you know. I did. She was actually a little upset with your dad. Yeah, yeah. She was like, I've had this girl. I always wanted a daughter.

And dad's like, I didn't know. So, but what I loved about that mom was that what that told me that night was that when you forgave dad, 44 years earlier, when he came, accepted Christ, started a new lifestyle. you forgave it right same thing i did with lisa but you meant it because if you did if you wouldn't a minute then even 45 years later she would have been angry oh this just you live that life and she could have just set in on you but she didn't because she knows who you are now and even 44 years that go by and now in our case phyllis and tony live here we have a great relationship with her she's a part of our family she hunts with us and so and she's just like him that's right oh in so many

The more I'm around her, she is so Roberts. I mean, it reminds me a lot of myself, too. No compassion. Boy, the twist and turns of life. Now, some of these people in the orders said, that's about the most low-down, sorry, but what can we say? Without Christ, we're all low-down. The truth's the light.

That's right. I want to say something, though, that I believe back when Phil and I had our stuff and all, I would go to church some because I, I did believe in God, but, and then I was a shame, though, they'd find out about you, and, you know, that just made it real hard for me because I was ashamed of that. And, but I think about now, this is what upsets me because even when we got back together, we didn't, they did a thing more with Phil on, you know, trying to teach him how to become a Christian because he had lived so long in that life.

And then, but, and we had talks with. both of us, but mostly it was with him. But nowadays, people have counselors. They have people that can help them that we didn't know who to call. You know, we just go to whoever helped us at church. But now there's so many things offered to people to help them. And that's what messes me up so bad because I'll say, and they say, you know, I'm separated or whatever they say.

And I say, well, did you try to go to counseling? because we have, we can point you to the right direction and all that. And they'd just say, no, no, we didn't go to counseling. I said, you don't understand. Everybody should give it a try. Some will work and some want, but there is so much opportunity now to get help that we didn't know how to get help. Yeah, and you just have to seek it and be humble and be honest and find it because people want to get, you know, help. So let me mention here at the end a few resources just that we've provided.

if something we've said today has touched you, we've written about everything we talked about. Elyssa and I wrote a new season and the Desperate Forgiveness, which is a follow-up. So something has touched you from our story and what we told you. Get those books because you can find some hope and healing. Happy, Happy, Happy, which is Dad's first book, basically tells his life and conversion story.

And then Mom and the Women of Duck Commander talks about a lot of what you talked about today. So those are great resources. If you know somebody, it's going through something, pick one of those up and get it in their hands because it's going to help them. That's why we did it. And I also want to mention we got some new books coming up next year. Dad's working on one on cancel culture, which we've mentioned a couple of times.

We'll be on the lookout for that one. And then Lisa and Mom are going to do a book, which I'm excited about. We're announcing for the first time. So we hadn't quite got the title for sure on it, but we're working on the ideas. And it's going to be a little bit about what we talked about today, how those stories have launched, both of you into helping other women especially, but a lot of people. And there's so much in the Bible about that very thing, which is powerful. So I just want to encourage you on those.

It's always good to have the ladies to visit the Unashamed. You know, our women's audience is really growing, Mom. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very male-dominated audience earlier. Well, it's a miracle today because Phil and all of y'all can tell how I mispronounced words. Is that right? You have butchered the English language.

I have. And listen, I'm telling you, it's all natural. I didn't even know I mess up. But on this one today, I don't think I've mispronounce one word, but I don't know. Well, we might have to go back and check the video. I have a dark gumbo waiting on us. I fixed it. I started on it last night, finished it up about nine, so it's been simmering for about two or three hours.

And you know, dad's cooking. Your mom used to do most of the cooking, but dad, does a lot of the cooking now. He does over half the cooking. Yeah. But one of my girls from my Bible study... It doesn't bother your manhood. No. Hey. When I was having a little Bible study

up my country kitchen, so I sent a girl down there to get something and she come back and she walked in and they said, what is that smell? And she said, what are you talking about? And they said, you spell like some kind of Cajun gumbo or something. So she

had just walked through the kitchen. Went back up to us on the little steps up to my. There's not much better smell than a gumbo, especially a ruby. It will draw people from miles around. I say let's go eat some. So we'll see y'all next time. Thanks for listening to the Unashamed podcast. Help us out by rating us on iTunes.

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