Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 584 | Missy Scares Jase With a List & Miss Kay Divulges Lessons Learned From Her Grandmother

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Miss Kay, Lisa and Missy join the podcast with their husbands to discuss football, marriage, forgiveness and their love of Jesus. Missy scares Jase with a little slip of paper that she brought with her to educate Jase on what they have in common. Lisa talks about the forgiveness that was shown to her, and how it helped to unravel a lie that she believed about herself from a very young age. Miss Kay talks about some lessons she learned from her grandmother and what she taught her about marriage and family. And Al quotes Missy on her hilarious sports commentary.  - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? Five, four, three. Did you actually do the countdown, both? I just did it. She did it. Well, I tell you, you give the wife an itch and she comes in and takes over. Good job, babe.

Nice welcome. We have a new producer today on the Unashamed podcast, Missy. Welcome, Missy, welcome, Mom. Thank you. Welcome, Lisa. Thanks. We have made a major upgrade in terms of beauty on the Unashamed podcast, for those of you that are watching, by having our lovely wives join us today on the podcast, which is always a blessing. Lisa and I are coming from the Southern Lair while Missy and Mom are there in studio.

So we're excited to have you guys. Thanks. Yep, we're glad to be here. Me, feels here all the time. Anyway. So I got to start off. I realize I'm time stamping our podcast because we're a couple of weeks out on our releases. So by the time you hear this, you know, college football will roll on.

But this past weekend for the first time for me in a long time because the last few years, when the Alabama LSU game is on, Lisa and I have been on the road. So I haven't really had a chance to really just enjoy the game. And so this year we were here in Alabama. I had my freshly minted LSU flag hanging on my house, very much in the minority in my neighborhood. And it was quite the game that Lisa and I were able to watch together. So, Jason, I got to know. I got to hear about what happened at your house.

Were you home? Were you on the road? What was your story? It took a while for me to have my schedule arranged where I would get one day off. And it was that Saturday and Sunday. So I thank everyone. There's a lot of people I want to thank for that. But it was awesome.

It sounds like an acceptance speech. So many people to think. Well, I'm feeling pretty good. I mean, the game was amazing. We were 14-point underdogs. And look, we just, we love Louisiana. And so we support our state college. I was trying to call you to say what the odds were.

Like, you always tell me, you know, how much. I had all. the missed calls. I return your calls immediately and you didn't answer. She was on the phone already with Jeff. Yeah. That's what I've noticed with you, K. You'll call somebody back, but give them at least a minute to call you back. Nope. No, that's wasted dead space for K. Then you're already on to the next call. And so then when you finish that call, you called me back. Well, guess what? One minute later, because I was trying to get my phone, because I'm like, who would call me during

the LSU game? Oh. Me? It's K. So I tried to call you back. Guess what? No. And we continued that during the whole game. And I never talked to you again until right now. I talked to other people, but I didn't talk to you. But we have a rule that Jason didn't even know where his phone is during the game. So I'm surprised you kept trying to call her back because usually people know not to even call us. I'm honored that you tried to call me back. So we were there. She learned that. Missy invited her parents or did they invite themselves? They invited themselves. Which was okay.

I was a little nervous about it at first because look, they've seen me during an LSU game because I'm vulnerable in that situation, good or bad. During the game, now once the game ends, it's over. I win or lose. I leave it in the living room on the field. So we had them there, and we had our little one there. He had his little LSU.

Missy put a LSU. Lisa, you bought that for him. LSU onesy. I put it on him. Mm-hmm. Which created a problem because later on during the night, bedtime occurred. And then all of a sudden, Missy's like saying, no, we need to keep this down. Well, I'm just like, no screaming and hollering out loud.

Or you get to go put the baby back to sleep. That was kind of the deal. So I was patient and understanding. I think the line I gave was, if they win this game, I'll tear this house down. down to the foundation. She's marriage, right? Right. This is a great preview to marriage.

It is. I'm just, but her parents were trying to video me a couple times. I was like, no, no, no, it stays in the living room. Because there was a lot of antics and the whole state, I'm sure that registered. It would have been a great show. They could have filmed each one of us watching. watching it because I was funny too. Well, they were checking the earthquake last I heard to see if when the two-point

conversion was good to see if it registered on the earthquake meter. I would like to know that decibel number, for sure, from the stadium level. That would have been amazing. I actually had an entry over the celebration. My adrenaline was pumping so much I didn't realize it. But about an hour later, I could not lift my arm up. And it's still sore this day. When's the last time the crowd has gone into the field when the game?

It's a week before. The goalpost down. The week before, so it was, yeah. The week before they beat Ole Miss, and I'm like, I think we need to act like we've been here before. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Now, feel you got to remember, not everyone storm the field. I think basically. The field was cool.

Yeah. Well, you saw those who had, they were the no-win to say win, losers. stormed the field. Yeah. I think they'd had a few adult beverages at that point. Oh, yeah. Because most of the people I saw going to the field fell down en route. I thought they were just so happy.

Yeah, they were, and they were drunk. But it was great. I'm glad we didn't, I'm glad, I was just so glad that really we went for two because in the back of my mind, you know, Missy, In our marriage, I've documented this that we didn't have a lot in common when we got married. We basically both spoke the English language, which was great because you think if that, if we spoke two different languages, that would be difficult. And we love Jesus. I don't think there was anything else right off the bat, was it, babe?

We'll get to that. Okay. But I wanted to say this, Al, I wanted to say this. But one thing that has developed besides our kids that we have in common is that we watch football together. And she's more of a Saints fan than I, I mean, I love to say. Thank you. Thank you. Missy's more of a Saints fan.

I'm more of an LSU fan. But she is. She did get up off the couch, and I saw some cries for emotion. But I was so happy they went for two Because there's been an argument in our house for the last five years about the role of the kicker And and it's just Because I thought if this guy misses this not only would we lose if they kicked it instead of going for two Then it's going to fuel this argument and I don't know if we want to get into it here

But missy it's not an argument with college football is an argument for pro NFL pro kicker college kickers, they're kids, they got jobs, they have school, but if you're an NFL pro kicker, you literally have one job. What you get paid millions of dollars for. You have one job. Our last argument, it concluded with me calling Missy a kicker Pharisee, because she said there's no excuse for you ever to miss a kicker. There's not.

We have the same discussion. I'm not a Pharisee, though, because I'm not a kicker who says that I'm perfect. I'm not a kicker. So I can't. I'm not, that's not a true analogy. I'm saying that if I was their boss, they better have a darn good excuse come Monday morning when they come into my office and tell me the reasons why they missed that regular field goal. The extra point is what you're saying. They should never.

The extra point. That's right. The P.A. If you miss a P.A.T. There should be a, you should better have a list of reasons when you come Monday morning in my office. Missy, you sound like Peyton Manning. Remember a few years ago he famously said in a postgame press conference that we lost the game thanks to our idiot kicker. Now that's something she would say.

Not in a press conference. But during the argument, what I found more shocking is she said, it's just like the NBA. There's no excuse for you to miss ever a free throw. You're standing there on a line. I don't understand that either. She's like, babe, we're humans. We things happen. She's like, the pressure that's coming from the stands and a woo, they're hollering and, I mean, you know a lot is riding on this. She has an answer for that. You'd have nerves and steal. That's what makes you a pro. You're a pro. That's what makes you a pro. That's why you get paid the big bucks literally.

But nobody's perfect. That's right. Get your list ready for whenever you mess up. Because there's somebody waiting in the wings to take your place. So you better have good reasons. I can see both sides of this argument. Missy, you're winning me over. I agree.

So, Mom, I got a note. What was your, what did you do when else you won the game? I jumped out of a chair and nearly killed myself. Tripped over dogs and everything. else. I was up and down, up and down. I was a nervous wreck. Did you scream at any point?

I don't know, did I? Yep. I know the dogs didn't know what was happening. They were saying something's going on around here. Well, it was funny because we were down here and I went out and had some errands on that morning. And so I'm going around town. Of course, I got my LSU stuff on.

And, you know, I'm getting a lot of grief from people. in stores and, you know, that kind of stuff. But it was all in fun. But when I went into the grocery store down here, everybody was so into it. They were announcing over the loud speaker, who in this store is, you know, pulling for LSU? I mean, across the whole grocery store.

So it was really great. And they did all the SEC schools because there's a lot of people represented down here. So it was a buzz. And I will say, I know we have a ton of Alabama fans. So I know we've made you relive this today. But just understand, you guys have been better consistently for a long time. So you got to, you know, when something like this happens,

we're going to have to crow just a little bit. But we even, even the non-football fans, though, this game was something, the way it ended was so crazy. Because look, I stood up. I thought, okay, we scored, you know, in the overtime. And then all of a sudden, I thought, is he actually contemplating going for two points and we all stood up.

He said, no, no, no, no. He's not that dumb. He's not going to do that. That's what Missy. She's like, there's no way he would do that in front of a hundred thousand people. I was like, what about the rest of the state? The whole nation. And then when they went to, did they go to commercial?

Yeah, no, he ran down the field as fast he can scream and holler and time out, time out. I said, oh, thank goodness he's come to his senses. It's not, he's not going to do that. Went to commercial, but I told you, what did I say? I said, he's still going to go. for two. I said he's doing it. But they just want to make sure they have the place that comes back. They're fixing to go for two. But what I noticed it did, Al, I want to make this point. Because I couldn't even sleep for three or four hours, just the adrenaline. I was watching the

crowds. And I mean, I just, I went back and watched the whole thing again and fast forwarded the commercials. I did. So, but nobody made this point. And what he did, because, you know, This is personal for us because Nick Saban used to be our coach. And so Louisiana has a weird kind of relationship here. But Brian Kelly did something that up until this moment, I've seen no other coach do against Nick Saban. He ambushed him with the element of surprise. And I'm going to make this argument because they called a timeout.

And the Alabama staff was so flustered that when he, it came back out when we were finished running the play. They had 12 men on the field. Yeah, I remember that. There's a guy running, and it hit me in that moment. I thought they've actually have a surprise attack here. So that's why it, I mean, it shocked me that we pulled it off and scored, but it seemed easy. Well, Alabama is used to being the intimidator.

Exactly. And they've gotten away with it for so long. And now they were like, oh, wait a second. Well, another factor, Missy to your earlier point, we did lose the first game of the season. when a kicker missed, you know, an extra point, had an extra point block, you know, that you were just assuming, you know, we're going into overtime. So there was that, you know, that we've actually experienced this year.

He missed it because the line didn't block, which is my argument. This is a team sport. There's a lot of things that can go wrong, babe, when the ball is snapped. The guy's got to put it down there. He's got to flip it around. He's got to hold it. The line has to lock. We've covered that.

But I think what I liked best about, the post game I know we need to move on but Brian Kelly in the interview I mean everybody talking about this afterwards with tears in his eyes like okay we had our doubts after the Florida State game I'll give you that we had our doubts we weren't hating I wasn't hating on him I just had my doubts if he was the right man to pull the job off but now seeing his heart for all of the boys and the team and love of the state and seeing his reaction with the fans I'm like okay he's He's in. He's family. That's it.

New coach, and they lost to somebody right off the bat, the first loss. Yeah, Florida State. Yeah. Well, when I saw that, I said, they're going to have a tough road to hoe. Yeah. Remarkably, I mean, I looked up and I said, man, these people have, they've come to their senses here. It's not just a game. I know people say, oh, it's just a football game. How silly.

It's a sense of pride in your state and pride. and what you've been through with your state and with your school and with your team and with your family. It is. So it's so much more than just a game. And I think that's what makes it so much fun when you win. It is. And it's like eating fish. There's things that happen that are wrong.

They use a lot of four-letter words and all that. You've got to spit out the bones. Yeah. But overall, it's a good thing to enjoy it for your state. That was in the program, Mr. David watched. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just don't read lips.

That's right. Don't read lips. Don't zoom in on those coaches' faces. Let's take a break. All right. So we got that out of our system. And like I said, we beg forgiveness for all our Alabama fans. We love you in Christ.

So it just goes to show. In the SEC, on any given week, you pull for whoever, right? So the reason that we asked the ladies to come on our episode is because we had a very, I feel like, Jay is a spirited discussion from Mark Tim on our last podcast with the three of us plus Zach. Zach. And we talked about marriage in the context of, you know, it wasn't really about marriage. I don't think it's kind of the conclusion we came to, even though that's the topic. It was more about legalism and law as Jesus is dealing with this particular situation. But I felt like we needed to get some female perspective.

Obviously, the same thing I think the podcast audience loves about our podcast is our commitment to the word. And I'm going to tell you, you know, we're on here all the time, me, Jason, Dad, and Zach. But our wives have been studying, teaching, being impacted and impacting others with the Word of God all the years we have. And so I respect all your opinions, but also your study and you're studied in any of the Bible. So that was the reason why I wanted to have you guys on. In the last context, as you can help me out as well. We talked about there tends to be this tendency. which is why this question was posed by the Pharisees,

they were trying to trap him with this question about, you know, is it lawful to have a divorce? Because they're trying to get Jesus basically on the record, saying going against Moses. And so Jesus, as he often does, brings them back to the original truth. And the way we described on the last podcast is, he presents marriage as this beautiful gift

that's been here since the beginning. That's why he goes all the way back to Genesis 1 and Genesis 2. And so his answer to their legalistic question was, here's the way God has designed it from the beginning. And he just gives this beautiful picture about marriage. So I kind of wanted you guys just to give us basically your, not only pending of this text, but also just marriage in general. And mom, I wanted to start with you because, you know,

you got a movie coming out about your marriage. So, I mean, you know, not many people can say that, right? I mean, about your early lives. So how do you growing up, your view of marriage, what you were taught, how did that impact you going into your marriage and relationship with dad? Well, as I tell the story to everybody, it was because I was raised as much by my grandmother as I was my family because they had a store and they worked all the time. So I listened to my grandmother for hours and we'd sit in swings in different

places. And we talked about, and I told her I already knew I wanted a husband. I knew what I wanted them to look like and act like, and that I wanted four children. And, you know, I had it all planned in my head. Of course, it wasn't like I had anybody picking them because I was just young. But she always told me, she said, well, just know one thing. When you marry, you give a vow to God, and it's for life. And she said, and all your fights and struggles, you've got to stick through them and just know that God's there and you can do it.

So I was like, why would I have fights and struggles? I don't fight now. I'm not a fighting person. And she said, you'll have problems. And I said, why? She said, because everybody does in a marriage. Some people will talk about some people won't, but there's always disagreements in a marriage.

So I went in there thinking, no matter what he does, no matter what anything happens, I'm not going to leave him. I'm going to stay true to the vows and the marriage. Well, we talked about last week, you know, marriage is hard. People are selfish. And by that, we're sinful on both sides. And things change, life change, especially when kids happen, health problems. happen. People die that are close to us. You know, friends betray us. Then you throw in work and make a living and you lose your job. And so, you know, we made a point that you always marry

the wrong person because you're bringing out the worst just by spending time on a daily basis with another human being. And we're sinful people. Well, we were definitely different. He was smart. I wasn't. No, what's the other reason? No, I was going to think of it. There's several of it. I had money. He had none.

What I was going to say, though, is, you know, the context of what we covered, if you read Matthew 19, 1 through 12, and you read our in Mark 10, I mean, when you combine them, you kind of figure out what they were trying to do because they were trying to trap him saying, well, how come Moses in, where was that, Deuteronomy 24? They were allowing people to get divorced for a variety of reasons. And so they were trying to trap him to see which side of that he was on. It was kind of like the new way here. You know, you get tired of.

She doesn't cook well or you can divorce her. So they're trying to trap him. And in both references, you know, Jesus says, well, he allowed you to get that divorce because your hearts were hard. What was happening was they were making sinful decisions. And then now scenarios were coming up where it's like, well, what do we do with the first woman that I was married to after three marriages? Because now she wants to get back married again. So he was making the point, you screwed all this up.

But it wasn't that way from the beginning, from the beginning. and he then defines marriage and he shows that he designed it and that he defined it and that it's actually a beautiful thing that one plus one equals one in the father. So that's why when you fast forward to all of us, we've been married all of us. Gee whiz. A lot of years. A lot of years. You realize all the problems that come.

I mean, I think Missy's the greatest quality that I did not know she had was the ability to have a new normal when life changes or throws you a curveball. I mean, she does way better than I do about arising to the occasion and saying, well, this is just how it is. Give me a week. You don't realize. And that's good, man. You don't realize that the teaching about it, you read about it, and the final word on it when Jesus said, all right, here's the way marriage works.

But even then, having good marriages, you must teach what, it has to be an ongoing people reaching out. You two are married. You've got your children, but all of a sudden there's another one. Well, there's people contemplating marriage or are they're married, and they're looking for a little guidance and what makes a smooth, uh,

kind, good marriage. So the teaching part has to be done. Even when you say, okay, I'll stay with it, or having to hold no matter what. You must teach what it's in accord with sound doctrine.

He's talking to a young preacher. Teach the older men. He starts with older men to be praised worthy, respect, self-control. sound and truth, in love, and do it, teach the older women. So that tells you that if you don't have instruction among married people, some of them the ones who are obeying what Jesus said,

it's a one-shot deal, stay with them. You know, it's forever. If you don't get that in their head, and you, on a constant, teaching scheme. I mean, high in the world would you expect it to turn out? Teach the older women to be reverent

the way they live, not to be slanderers, not addicted to much wine, teach what is good. Then they can teach train the younger women to love their husband, children. So it's one of these things

where you just can't say good luck to you. There has to be some intervention in the kingdom of God with each other and develop relationships. Ms. Kay and them are always going up to town.

They have these women's meetings. How many do you have every week? Just one a week now, maybe two. Well, no, it's one a week and one once a month. Yeah, but that's what they do. I'm sure you, miss a year, you all do to some extent the same thing. She's done it. Because people are looking back,

and when they see marriage so many of them falling apart, it becomes a prerequisite they need some training, well, especially in the kingdom of God. If you're going to claim Jesus, you got to go with what he said about marriage, one man, one woman for life. So you see in our culture, that's a bone to be true, Jase. Well, the training starts at... Hang on, miss.

Hang on miss. Let's take a break. The training starts at home when they're babies, and they watch their parents because if you see generation after generation, it's very hard to change whatever cycle that is, good cycle or a bad cycle. And so your boys saw how y'all were able to work it out in the tough scenarios. Okay, you did fight.

You are a fighter because you fought to keep your marriage together. I had a lot of patience too. But you gave Phil, you know, those kind of those ultimatums of you can't come back home until you get your life right. I'm not going to subject myself and my boys to that again. That was a fighting moment. That was after many years. Right. But I will say I felt like in my mind I had been patient and given all I could give.

Well, actually, you're the one that kicked us out anyway. You remember that night, don't you? Well, I think that even goes with the argument here is, you know, human beings are always looking for a way out when it gets uncomfortable. or bad things happen or we're bitter or and Jesus is going back as this looking as something that you want to stay in. This is a beautiful thing. I mean, you think about just from a societal standpoint, this is a fabric of dynamic societies. Having parents who love each other and have this special bond that was put together. by the Almighty and then you see the kids that come forth having a foundation to where when

problems do arise. If everything goes south, it doesn't take long for it to really have an impact on your culture. Exactly. But you know, Missy brought up a really interesting thought, and at least I want to bring you into this. You mentioned Missy about when you were children and things that both happen and things that you do affect how you're going to be later in your life. All those things do.

There are factors in the home you grow up in. And so I would say, Dave, how did your young life affect ultimately our marriage and then our redemption that came out of that? How would you describe that? Well, I think you're right. I think 95% of the time when kids are raised

in a God-fearing and a loving home where the parents love and respect one another, then sure. I mean, they tend to take on those qualities. But there are, you know, there are other times where the kids, you know, grow up and they don't carry on those qualities. And so there, you know, there are exceptions to everything. But I also think that whenever you're not brought up in that home,

where, you know, the parents take you to church and, and actually live the Christian life. Or I think also whenever things happen as children. And, you know, in my case, at seven years old, I had an uncle that started molesting me. Well, that, you know, at seven years old, it's wrong. You don't know it's wrong because you're seven years old. But at the same time, I think that instills something in you at that early age. One, it instilled dishonesty into me because I couldn't tell anybody what was happening to me.

Two, I think it instilled a self-worth, which I had none. I really felt as though my lot in life was to please men. The third thing that I think it instills is just that respect factor. And I had no respect for men. Now, I had respect for my father, but he was the only one, you know. And so as you grow up and as you interact with the opposite sex, those things matter. Those things come into play because when your path, you're going to be. you're going down a path and it takes several detours like mine did, then whenever your brain is

firing, it's not firing on the right things, you know, it's firing on those lies that Satan has instilled in you as a child. And so, of course, I think that as Al and I, after we got married, loved him so long, I thought, you know, I think, I think now it wasn't love. I think it was just, you know, a strong like maybe. But I had wanted so much that kind of person in my life because I was not raised with that kind of person. So I wanted him so badly. And then to come into the family and have a family. I mean, what I saw in the Robertson family was respect of one another, the love of God,

the love of church and your brethren, hospitality, evangelism. I mean, those are the things that I saw in the Robertson family and wanted so much in my life. But it was a measuring stick you couldn't measure up to it. That's right. But I could not measure up to that because, oh, by the way, did you know I had all this other stuff in my life?

You know? And so I just, I feel as though that really does affect a person as they go on. Now, I'm grateful. The Robertson family forgave me whenever I had an affair and committed adultery on Alan. Alan forgave me. God forgave me. And I'm grateful for that, but I'm so grateful that at that point, God showed me the lies that Satan had been telling me for all of those years. But again, as you said, Phil, that came through being with other people and those people putting that into my life.

And so whenever I did counseling, whenever I talked with other people, even Ms. K, I mean, then they told me what my worth was. They showed me. They studied with me. And I think that is how that I was able to change my life. And subsequently, we have a great marriage, not perfect, but we have a great marriage now. Well, let's take another break. And, Dad, it kind of goes back to what you had talked about. I mean, the common theme here is the capacity of forgiveness and then change, life change.

And dad had to change in his late 20s. Lisa had to change in her early 30s. And then from there, we were like rocket ships that took off for Christ. I do, Missy, want you to speak to you and Jayes obviously have a different, you know, set of circumstances than us, the other two couples. tell me what you've learned about you guys over the course of 32 plus years of marriage. And, you know, Jason's talked a lot on the podcast about you guys not having a lot in common going in. I know. I know.

It's not just the podcast. It's an interesting statement. Al, he ends up a little session up about teaching the older men, the older women, the younger men. You do that with soundness of speech that cannot be. be condemned, just think about being careful on what you say. So that those who oppose you, and there's always opposition, the evil one and the work, they may be ashamed when they're watching you because they've nothing bad to say about us. In other words, if they're trying to drum up some way to get at you because of the way you operate between you and your wife,

but they hear it's good sound teaching. They just don't really have anything they can accuse you of. So that's the goal, but that's how critical. You know you're being watched by everyone in your family structure. Well, y'all do have a pass, but the good thing that they can accuse you, and it's all true, but you've already confessed it all to the world. So there's nothing new, and I think that's what's so good about another quality of the Robertson family, and y'all especially, y'all two couples, is that the only reason that you're putting it out there is to help other people.

Because it definitely doesn't make you look good. So that's a great quality, I think. But and Lisa, one thing before I answer your question, Al, whenever you said, you know, the Robertson family forgave me and all of that, it sounds all beautiful and clean and crisp and loving. And it wasn't. It was a tough time when all of that happened. And forgiving you was not just a decision that we made. It was a process that we had to go through ourselves without you in the room and without your presence. And it was not pretty, you know. And so I think that's what marriage, that was a relationship that we had to work out outside of y'all's marriage. We had to work that out as family. And that took a while. And so when I think about the commitment to marriage, I thought about this when you said,

y'all are going to be on this podcast to talk about marriage. And I look around at a lot of people around us, mostly younger, that are going through divorce or contemplating divorce or have just gone through it. They have so many reasons why they weren't prepared or it just fell apart. Or he started slandering me, verbally abusing. me. I can't take it anymore, all this stuff. And not that those are not valid reasons, but where is the commitment that we made before God and before witnesses? And I can only think of one other commitment you make before God and before witnesses, and as to your creator when you

accept Christ as your Lord. It's that one and your commitment to your spouse for the rest of your life. You don't even make a commitment when you take your babies home from the hospital. they just hand them to you. Like, good luck. Even, even, I mean, seriously, you don't have to sign a thing. And even when I took this new baby home, I just signed that I had legal authority to make decisions on his behalf. Not that I would love him and commit to him and put him before me no matter what. It was, it's a marriage is a very unique institution that is not.

none, it's like none other. And so it requires a lot more time, a lot more energy than maybe you really feel like putting in because you're dealing with another adult and you think he should be treating me the way that I want to be treated. You know, we kind of give a pass to our kids because they're kids. So I think that a lot of them are saying now, just kill them. That way you won't have to raise them. Well, that's true too. That's a whole other issue. How about a sad, sad deal? Just Get rid of them. That way you want to. That's the latest thing.

Well, I want to put it in, Al, to this whole, Jay says we don't have anything in common except Jesus and our kids. I figured we were going to circle back.

Oh, you made a list. Teach me, me. I'm a list maker. So I'm going to just run through it real quick. You ready?

And you can, you can confirm or deny. Okay. Jesus, which consists of, well, our lives and commitment to,

Jesus, but we love great worship. We do love great worship. We're mission-minded. Well, I thought all this was like Jesus. Okay, that was under the Jesus category. Now, on our kids, we both wanted to make Carina our family. Yeah. Okay, and we also both decided to take in AK.

Yeah. Okay. I did a great job with that, too. Well, that's ongoing. That's ongoing. It's a liquid situation. Okay. Here we go, here we go.

Action movies. British crime shows Good homemade food Good homemade food Okay We're not big sweets eaters We're not big breakfast eaters

We agree on politics Well yeah We're extremely patriotic We support our troops We support orphans overseas We love learning about History. I'm still going.

Still going. We really like our, y'all are going to love this, Al and Zach, we really like our Helix mattress. Oh, yeah. All six of us can agree to that. Yeah. Jace got in bed after being in Virginia. He was like, oh, man, it's so good getting in this bed again. Okay, we like to every once in a while eat chips and queso as our meal.

That's true. Okay. LSU football, we've covered that and football overall. Working together for Duck Family Treasure. We have a goal of making that the best that we can possibly make it. And this is just kind of spur of the moment. I thought about this on the way down. We're very budget-minded.

Both of us are very budget-minded, which really, that's great for our marriage because we don't really fight over money. We never have. So I'm not budget minded. I just don't. I'm just, he doesn't spend any money. I'm not worried about it.

But I don't really either. But yeah, well, we didn't have any to spend. And that was a, we didn't go into debt either. So that's good. Did you grow to those things you both have in common or were they there from the beginning? Well, you should have given me that list like 20 years ago. I didn't think I had to sit down and make a list.

I have, I feel like I'm having to defend myself. Give me the list. All I'm saying is maybe you should get to know me a little bit better after 32 years of marriage. Hang on. Let's take our last break. All right. So Missy's convinced me of two things. One, this professional kicker should not miss an extra point. And number two, Jason, Jay's and Missy have a lot in common. So thank you, Mrs. Sure. But we needed a list. Yes, so now, Al, you can remind him when he says, my wife and I don't have anything in common except Jesus. Trust me. I will. I won't say remember.

So to put this in context out, instead of looking for a way out with the certificate of divorce, you need to look for a reason to stay in. Yes, I could have made a list on things that we didn't have in common. That's always good. Yes, that's true. With the list. That would be a very good way for people to learn to appreciate. I was going to say that about what Lisa shared and boldly and courageously.

I mean, it's not easy to share those kind of things. And Lisa seems to do it to help other people, and we're appreciative of that. And it was bumpy when you did that for a family. It took a couple years, I think, for it. Yeah, it took a while. But you know what? Now that I read these passages, it's like, and I hate to use this illustration for football, but it's true. You know, people get so negative and so down on their teams when just they lose,

They're like, I fire the coat. This is not working, you know, and we all kind of go through that as football fans. But, you know, when you do that with people, you're underestimating God's grace. And because all my support to Al when that happened was, this is your way out. I was giving him door number one, go out this way, door number two, go out that way, go out the back door. There was never. There was not a Lisa door. It's over.

That door, I had burned it to the ground. So, and it's, it, we're kind of snickering, but it was like, you know, you just, you lose hope in somebody and faith in somebody and you're, you're underestimating God's power and his word. You know, they were coming up with all these excuses and all these reasons and they were having all these arguments, you know, and I just think it's beautiful and powerful what Jesus did. He just went back to the beginning. Their argument was get rid of them, and he was saying, He's like, you're missing the beauty of this. And so I think a lot of our marriages and a lot of people, look, we all have our scraps and fights.

I mean, we have scraps all the time. But, you know, you have to have these reminders of how beautiful this is, despite our struggles and our mess-ups and our, I mean, God creates the most powerful union. on the planet. And it's called marriage. That's right. I mean, it brings out the best in both of you working in the right direction, despite all your failures in messups.

True. Yeah. In counseling, in premarital counseling, sometimes we tell people to make a list of why you like one another or why you want to get married. And then we had one couple say, we're still adding on to that list because every year they find something different. Yeah, they add to the list every year, which is a beautiful thought. Which is great because then whenever the hard times come, you pull out that list and then you can go, well, I mean, we used to do this.

We used to do this. You know, I used to like that about you and you used to like this about me. So I think it's important for us to remember exactly why we married one another. And, you know, I have a friend, Jo Neal, she's all of our friends, but, you know, she says maybe you didn't marry the wrong person. Maybe you're just not the right person. Which is the Jesus point, yeah. Which Jesus makes it all right. Before we, we're getting toward the end of our podcast, before we get to overtime, I want to read the next little section because I,

I do think it's very relevant, especially in between because later we're going to talk about this very impressive rich young man that we're still in this concept of, you know, law versus grace. In verse 13, it says people were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them. Now, and this is about the third reference in the last two chapters where Jesus is like addressing a child when he's talking about faith. but the disciples rebuked them. They rebuked them for bringing the kids. When Jesus saw this, and by the way, this is one of the few times in any of the gospels you see this phrase about Jesus, he was indignant. He was not happy.

He said to them, let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. and he took the children in his arms and he put his hands on them and he blessed them. So I want to interject that because, Miss, you talked about children quite a bit a minute ago, not only just the training that we do, but then also the impact that they have on our relationship. And I just found it interesting that in between these two sort of tests,

one of this discussion about marriage from the Pharisees, and the next is going to be this young man comes up that basically says, I'm a lawkeeper, you know, why can't that be enough? he brings in these children. And when the disciples try to get the kids out of there, he's a, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. This is how you need to be. You need to be like these. So how do you look at this when you look at relationships, when you look at marriage, you look at people's kids and ways that it impacts them?

Why is that so important to you guys? Why do you think he brings this into this? I'm not sure. We can sum it up as we end this podcast in a pretty package, but children are just a visual reminder of what we should be like. But you could take them for granted if they're with you all of the time. That's what's been so the good thing about having, one of the good things about having this new baby in our house is that we're reminded again, because it's been a few years

since we had little ones in our house, we're reminded again about the beauty of the creation, about how God created us to be. And it's been a rough weekend, I'm not going to lie, because the baby has had snotty nose and not been happy and, you know, all of this. And he has been trying our patience, my patience. And yet, when he looks at us and we make him laugh, it's like the sweetest thing ever in the entire universe. He forgets that he's sick.

He forgets that he was just told no 15 times that you can't grab that fireplace tool and pull it down your head, you know. And so he's so quick to forgive and so quick to love on and so quick to want to be loved, that's how we should be as adults. But we have so much hurt and anger in our past from grown relationships that have hurt us, that we have our defense mechanisms up. And that's a lot of time comes in with that.

We're going to flee from the marriage so quickly is because I can't take it anymore, is usually the reason. It's that it's yourself that gets in the way of trying to work it out. Now, did Al have ever? every justification of leaving Lisa? Yes, by law. He had every justification. And no one would have said you did the wrong thing if y'all would have gotten divorced. No one. But working it out was so much more beautiful, not just to your relationship, but to your children and your grandchildren and to generations to come and to all of us. So I think that's the hardest thing for people

to get past is, but I'm right. Yes, you may be right. But is it worth the relationship? Because you're not going to just lose your spouse. You're going to lose all of your spouse's friends, all of your spouse's family, all of your, so much more than just, well, I'm right. And I went out of this marriage. And then the impact on children as well. So thank you, Missy, because that was the perfect way to wrap that.

but I want to dive into that a little bit more in our overtime and talk about that just a little bit more. So if you want to follow us over, it's blazedtv.com slash unashamed. Still running a promo. If you use the promo code, feel, you get $10 off your subscription. So check us out in overtime with the ladies. Thanks for listening to the Unashamed podcast. Help us out by rating us on iTunes. And don't miss an episode by subscribing on YouTube.

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