Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 604 | Unashamed's Best of Uncle Si Robertson

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

This special episode of Unashamed features the very best of Uncle Si Robertson on “Unashamed.” From stories of his time serving overseas to exaggerating the size of his bucks, Uncle Si always keeps America laughing.  -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? So, you know, people ask me all the time, everywhere I go, they're like, you know, his Uncle Si, you know, as crazy as he is in real life as he is on the show and the podcast and all these ways to see him. And I always say, look, you don't know anything until you spend a little time around my Uncle'sai. He has been a gift to us for many years. And we decided we want to give you a very special gift through the Unashamed podcast, having what, we're calling the best of sigh for Christmas. And because we've had some great moments with Sai on the podcast.

We thought it'd be great to share them with you. So check it out. Your Christmas present from the Unashamed Nation is the best of Cy. Yeah. He wears a size hat about 40. But hey, speaking about that, when I come in the military and got drafted, my drill sergeant, I could take a bat in his hat. I'm serious. Hey, this boy weighed 450 pounds,

but you had to respect him, okay? Yeah. Because look, I took AIT on Fort Bragg. I don't know. I have no idea what that means. Oh, no, not A.I.T. Basic. I just based on Fort Bragg. That's where they holler at you, though.

You do not walk on Fort Bragg. I mean, Fort, God, can't take your name right now. Hope? Anyway, it's in Georgia. Oh. Fort Benning? Benning, Georgia. Okay.

You do not walk there, so you run everywhere. Well, we run everywhere. Well, I'm 130 pounds, so I ain't worried about running. Okay, he's carrying 4.50, and he run everywhere we did. Hey, you had to respect the man. So Martin reminds you of this game? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But Martin's a large, man. Look, when we see. You got stone, but he never says anything. No, stone's quite. No, no, look, when we've seen the drill sergeant coming, we lost the drill sergeant, and he showed up. Big office, what we call. called him behind his back.

We wouldn't say it to it. He didn't say it to it. You didn't say it to it's right. But anyway, look, we see a taxi cab coming down. Look, the right side of it is sparking. It looks like somebody's got a grinder going, but it's a taxi cab. He pulls up, it pulls up, and when he steps out, then it comes up where it ain't grinding, for it ain't grinding.

It was dragon, he was dragging. y'all. You sure he didn't weigh more than $450,000? Oh, no. Hey, he was a man. And look, he's about six, six, okay? Oh, no, he was a man. He was a drill instructor.

And he was my drill instructor. Look, he didn't holler at you, did he? Did he holler at me? Hey, graduation, I'm in dressed greens. Yeah. And he got in my face, and I started laughing because I never could. The whole time I had him, he'd get right in my just nose to nose. And when he did, I couldn't help laughing.

He had dropped me. I did 300. 150 push-up. Just poop-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p. Couldn't laugh. He'd say, knockout, 50, so, you know, maggot. He didn't, y'all. He called you, Magg.

Yeah, you know, and I'd knock out of 50 and jump back up. He'd get right against my nose again. I'd bust out of laughing. Get out of them, maggot. Give me 50 more. Hey, 350. Finally got the laughing and then the grinning off. Yeah.

All right. You didn't use any four other words, did it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he used words like, drop maggot. So you're, but you agree basically with the sentiment that Blue has been a fantastic, the best retrieving lab we've ever had in terms of what he can do. No doubt.

But the most annoying lab we've ever. Well, he's just a, how would I word this? He's an undiscipline child that's running a muck. Okay. And look. And begging ain't no better. That's right. Because, you know, it's just a lot. Maybe it's the owner, it's an owner problem. Maybe they're taking the, the, the, the, the atmosphere of their ownership.

Maybe it's, maybe it's going from owner to a dog. It's a fire issue. They have that fire. Here's what I, here's what I've learned. Okay. If I was to go out and buy me a retriever, the last thing. I'm going to buy me is a male dog. Okay.

Because, hey, yeah. Prime example, Phil's prime example. Okay, males are hard-headed. What happened to that dog you had on the show? What was that thing? A poodle. A poodleer. Oh, hey, oh, no.

And maybe we need to thank poodle. That was one of the top retrieving poodle lab poodle. I was impressed. Hey, they got issues too because, I killed a dove. He went out and got it come running by me. and he was running by me too fast, so I grabbed him. Well, poodles are real tender skin. Okay, so I paced him, and he tried to bite.

I had to send that clown back to Georgia for remedial training. I'm wondering what happened that dog. It's the number one question I get from kids. Of course, now they're growing up. They're teenagers, but they were kids at the time. When they were watching the show is, does Uncle Si still have that dog? I can't tell you, how many times do you get that question when you're on the road? Look, that's the most up.

I got, they made a big poster out of that picture where the guy's panning and there's me and killer and killer sitting up there. I've signed that more times. I've signed that one more times than anything. And that dog tried to bite it. Well, at least my dog couldn't try to bite me. What's in his heart and his mind. Is that why you didn't wear clothes the first 10 or 12 years of your life?

Well, it may have been, but I'm a free spirit. I remember I remember when Ma when you were six years old and everybody was going toward the school bus you know pull up there out there

but you were naked I mean like you came out of your mother's my mama's lawns you were naked and you said nope no clothes for me and you had a scuffle there and she had to take out her belt and tear your butt up

because I said you're going to wear clothes and you said, I'm never wearing clothes. You wanted to run naked, Sire. You had wisdom before. I mean, you had that wisdom before it was time. But can you imagine the kids on that school bus, they see all them kids come running out, and they're like, hey, one of those kids, he doesn't have clothes on that.

You didn't wear clothes. I remember it was up to six because I watched you grow up. You just didn't wear clothes. Well, I got used to it. Here's what I was, what I had in me, is I was pure, I was innocent. Okay, so, hey, I was on a shame. Okay, I'm seriously, when you think about that.

You know, it's just a gun, hey, because that ber brings me back. I didn't even know how to put on the gown in the hospital. Oh, boy. I'll put it on the wrong way. I'm not serious. I've got it, and the open is in front. and I said, hey, why even give me the gown? I said, I'm going to be showing my behind anyway.

But you couldn't tie the gown. You couldn't find where the gown is tied if you. Yeah, I put it on backwards. But I just told them, I said, hey, look, why not just leave me in my birthday suit? Forget the stupid gown. Yeah. You were going back to your childhoods, huh? Hey, how's it?

Hey, give me freedom, boys. Or give me death, period. little Patrick Henry from Uncle Sy. I'm baiting up a trot line, catching catfish. This is a really sad story. And I'm out in the middle of the red river over there, and I'm baiting up my line, and I see a vehicle pull up on the bank, a bluff over there.

And it was Si. And Cy said, hey, he said, Miss Kay's having that baby. Talking about Jays. And I was baiting my hook. you know I looked up I said we want me to do about it and he said well this is she wants to know what you want to name him I said name him after you and I just kept baiting my line sigh I saw him side and sideways leaving well he said now we're getting somewhere the silas name will go on

forever so for clarification this was pre-Jesus right this is 1969 yeah this is way before I met Jesus. So, Sight, was your purpose in going was to get Dad, I guess, right? No, no. Kay said, hey, go talk to my husband and find out what he wants to name this son. So she really wanted to know what to name. But she didn't want you to actually try to get him to come back with you? No.

That wasn't even much. Oh, no, she knew that wouldn't have an option. Okay. He's on the river. You know, her pioneer man is out doing what he's supposed to be doing in the woods, catching fish or killing something. But by the way, side named him. him, you know, Phil said, name him after me.

So it'll be Jason Silas Robertson. And what I just realized, it marked him. And they've been at each other ever since. That's probably a good thing, though. Because he's got a lot of my mannerism because I kept him what he was in. Well, it's been saying, there's a little more to it because actually you and Christine had to be in the formative years. Well, I've heard enough of these old stories.

Let's get out. Love to argue. Let's get out of some Bible here. Okay, Dad. Good work, me. Let's move on. That's decided the story time is over. Well, it wasn't Kirst and Phil in a very good life.

We're living in some dangerous times. That's why we go around, including this podcast, reminding people, loving God and loving each other should not be a foreign concept. It should be embraced and practiced. and we would be far better off any way you want to slice it. Well, that's what I don't get about it. In today's world, worldwide, after you're looking at everything going on, you know, we've tried it the world's way.

Common sense tells me, hey, let's try it God's way. Love your fellow man and treat him as you would want to be treated. Let's try that move and see what happened. I think that would be a good move. No doubt about it. And, you know, we're going to protect ourselves. That's the missing link here. That's what happens sometimes is I think Christians get bowed into the idea like, well, but, you know, turn the other cheek.

Therefore, we are to, you know, we are to do what Beto O'Rourke says and just, you know, turn all our guns in and just say, you know, come get us. Well, that's why you got to have the, you got to have both. I mean, you've got to have the spiritual side. You know, there's plenty of verses, the weapons we've fought. with or not the weapons of the world. You know, they demolish strongholds because they take captive thoughts, the thoughts of people. And that's why you share Jesus. And like I said, you share these love principles.

I think that should just be mandatory for all schools. No doubt. The name, you don't have to say it came from the Bible. It's just you have a course that you must take with algebra geometry. It's called love. And you get, you take those. principles, I think there's, what, 15 of them in that section, 1st Corinthians 13, and you can have guest speakers, whoever you want. But this is where as we function as a society, this is

the best case scenario. At least why they hear it, you know, from all walks of life, because I don't know anybody that can't unite on those principles. Right. You know, I read that, they told me not to, I spoke at a community event in Indiana. I think I might have told you all about that. It was honoring the firefighters and the military, but they said, don't want you to bring up the Bible because we're trying to appeal, you know, to all people. And some of those people may not be believers. So I was like, okay, sure. So I talked about the author, which was my justification, you know, I was like,

if I was in y'all's line of work and there was a way to live forever, I'd want to know about it. So I'm going to share it with you what I believe in Jesus. But I did that. But then I quoted 1st Corinthians 13, love is kind, love his patient, you know, doesn't rejoice in evil. It always protects. always trust. Well, then after that, the line formed and, you know, I was taking pictures and talking to people.

And several people said, where was that poem that you read? I said, that was in the Bible. And they were like, that's in the Bible? I was like, yeah. It's like, well, I didn't know that. So we think everybody would know that. Right. But it was multiple people.

And I thought, that's why you should teach that. I know, because I want to go back to you when you was talking about the principal and the automation thing. Why would you push the panic? Your whiskers are in the mic. Now that are you. Why would you push the panic button of 2,500 parents saying, okay, you know, we've got people on campus with guns.

Well, so they wanted to let us know. Yeah, then what are you doing? You're going to cause a traffic jam. Ever parent. Well, then the next one was don't come here. Yeah. But you've already told them. Of course they're going to go.

Then the next message was now come get your kid. It was like 1.30. Now, this is kind of funny. It's really not. It's really not, but I want to tell you what happened. Missy said the media, of course, is out there filming it, you know. Of course, you got to remember in Louisiana, around noon, it's 100 degrees in September. And they're just like trying to get the shots because Miss said the lines.

I mean, there's thousands of kids here. And then there's thousands of parents coming to get them. And it's hot. and she said about 20 minutes into the film and she hears a ruckus, you know, here's sirens and they walked down. Well, the anchor of the news team, she's had a heat stroke in the parking lot.

And Missy's like, we're literally walking over the media to get in to pick up our kids. You're stepping over them because they fall up. Because when she came in, I was like, well, how'd that go? And she's like, oh, it's all chaos, you know. But look, welcome to our society.

Well, no, no, no, but that's why I'm saying, okay, This is, that's a, to me, that's a no-brainer. This is one of them, this is one of these things you do not do. I think of your cause worldwide panic. Well, that's what happened. It was worldwide panic. That's one of the things that, one of the best, I guess, testimonies I ever gave was in a casino in Las Vegas. Oh, tell me more.

No, no, I'm serious. And it was about what you were talking about. I'm sitting there. Me and Philip was playing poker. Okay, I got busted out. Philip's still doing good. Shocker. That doesn't happen very often, does it?

So no. Anyway, this woman keeps walking by, and she's looking, and I know what's going on. She's recognized, you know. So finally she passes by about four or five times. She comes just sits down beside me and says, we've got to settle this. Are you him? And I busted out life and said, well, that depends on who him is. Yeah.

You know, and she said, well, the duck dine's guy. I said, yes, I'm here. So we get to talking, and I'm sitting there thinking about, all right, how am I going to bring Jesus into this? That's a good way to be thinking. No, no. So I'm sitting there's a doing this, you know, and she asked me, and it's so funny. She said, you're a big celebrity. You must have met thousand people.

Who's the neatest guy you ever met? Well, I started laughing. She said, well, I was sitting here thinking about how can I bring Jesus to you? And now you've asked me, and I said, hey, now here's the deal. Jesus is the coolest man I've ever met And I was a good answer And I said and here's why You know and this blew her mind away

You know because she was a beautiful young lady You know and I said you are a fine little babe You're like that And when I said it she goes Like that And I said and I've got a problem with fine babies I said now here's the neat thing Here's the neat thing about Jesus

Why he's the coolest man I know He can look at you and not go where I go. He looks at you as a sister, okay, and I said, I ain't been able to put it off. And I said, you got to understand something here. He was flesh and blood just like I was. I said, but with one big difference, he never sent. He never made, yeah, and I said, and, you know, so with this goes on on,

I'm thinking I'm supposed to be witnessing to this lady. Well, there's a lady about 10 chairs over just drunk as a skunk. Okay, and the whole time I'm talking She's moving She's chair hopping Like musical chair Yeah So you're getting closer to the conversation

Yeah Yeah So this lady said Mr. Robertson It's been a pleasure And I've really enjoyed talking to you But me and my husband's got to go Yeah I said okay darling

I said you know It was a pleasure meeting you And you know Hey remember who the coolest man I ever met is Yeah I think you did good That's awesome Anyway

You go out in the wilderness a lot, don't you? And I looked and I said, if you mean the woods, I hunt a lot, yeah. So you look like you've been in the wilderness. Well, no, no. That's a natural question. No, no, because she says that, you know, and our life, because I said, okay, if you mean in the woods, yeah. So she said, I wish I could go out in the wilderness instead of come up here and getting drunk. And I said, darling, I said, hey, here's number one deal.

you make the choice to come up here and get drunk. Here's my charge to you. Instead of coming up here and getting drunk and wasting your money, you go find you somebody, you know, church of your choice, and you go and stay with them. I said, because here's the bottom line. It's easier to be a Christian if you surround yourself with people of like mine. Yeah.

all them stories really is my life that's right that's what i mean okay but there's it's like forest gump because some of them you're like could that how could he be here and there but they can't make a movie about you because when you ran like forest gum you ran naked for the first see most people most people think that he's putting on an act and then the real side is just a normal person around oh i know they they don't think he's He's really like that. But that's really sad. That's him.

I had one of these news media back in the Duck Dynasty Day, and they were kind of saying that. Remember, he's next to the last in the family structure. And by then, the genetics. And I mean, it's, it's. No, I've heard that already. They don't got special genetic sound. This media outlet was trying to like, I think it's the paparazzi, he is the restaurant.

They were asking me about that. They're like, you know, come on. You know, this sigh character. I said, well, let me just ask you something, if you don't mind. Let me ask the question. If Sa was just a character that was made up, how come he hasn't got an Academy Award and Emmy? This is the grading, acting performance of our lifetime.

On a reality show. And the media person was looking like, it's a pretty good point. I thought, you can't make this stuff up. It was like we did the, we talked about it, Saia recently on the Today Show when y'all did the interview. Matt Lauer was trying to make a big deal about it being a scripted show. And I remember, I said, do you think you can script me?

I mean, good luck with that. You know, I'd be a script's worst nightmare. Well, no, no, because I actually said that on television, Fox and Friends, I think. The last thing they said before we went live was, don't use the word script. And then they asked some question, and I said, well, hey, look, he walks out there and hand me the sheet of paper with something written on it. I look at me and crummel it up and I said, hey, I'm a director's worst nightmare. Don't give me a script.

So you described the script without saying the word. Yeah, yeah. Everybody there just went, oh. I can't spell script without. Side. That's it. That's all right, boys. We can play this game all day.

Well, and I learned a long time ago, the last thing you do, because dad's done a lot of media, the last thing you want to do is tell dad, don't say something right before the camera is because that's going to be the first thing he says as soon as the captain as we learned that a long time ago he'll get up in the mic i mean no icebreaker my son informed me that i should and here we go he's whatever just happened right back don't do this here we go yeah that's pretty much alarm clock 101 he didn't want to go we're sitting on nine teals seven on saturday two yesterday and And if I'd have had Jay's as another gun hand, instead of nine, we'd be sitting on 12, 13.

But we're not seeing many. I think you just gave me a compliment. That's the first one. Every 10 years you need to throw one else. And I don't know if that'd be true or not because they can't, you know, if they don't bunch you up, okay, I can't kill them like I normally kill them. So they were spread out. I noticed something about Jesus.

When I'm not there, you're coming. killing percentage goes way down. You know why? I don't hear that. Because you can't claim the ducks that I'm shooting. Sa does much better when the teal light on the water ball up and they're not swimming.

They're just sitting on the water. And he shoots simultaneously with the other hunter. He's a browns water. I have to say I'm with you. That's how I like to shoot them. Look, what y'all are saying on whole water? You shooting an extra four choke.

Okay, so you ain't killing nothing. We get them at 15 yards. Negative. I'm shooting. I would cut off a foot of my barrel, okay, if it was allowable. But y'all won't let me do it. But I'm shooting an open bore. A blunderbust.

Okay, so when I shoot, and trust me, I patterned all the new guns chokes. And the one that I kept, the reason I kept it was the open bore because, hey, you could, I could kill a hummingbird. Can't get through my shelves. Okay. So move a little closer to your, Mike. So welcome, Uncle Sy. Where did Zai come from? What did I say?

Sye is in the unashamed podcast command center. Welcome, Sajie. Well, pleasure to be here when you guys. It's good to be here. And, you know, when we start with about claiming ducks, which, you know, Sa was on the cover of one duckman video out of all the ones we did. I mean, there were some multiple pictures of our family, but you were on one by yourself, and the title of was the art of claiming ducks.

Yeah. That was Phil's idea. Blame your brother for that. Well, no, no. Well, hey, I understand why, okay? No, I know why. Not only is there an art to claiming them, okay? There's a heart to kill them, okay, to back up to claiming.

Okay, and I got them both. So I knew we had problems when, while you were sleeping in the duck blind, we put shells filled with baby powder in your gun, and you raised up and shot twice and said, well, boys, I went two for two. I said, Sa, you sell this white powder, we had powder in your bullets and he said, well, they must have been

defective. Because when I pull up the trigger, they fold it. She had three men on his right and three men on his left. Side, how good do you have to be to kill ducks with baby powder? I mean, you're some kind of...

Don't I say I'm talking about, I kill them no matter what they do to my gun. I still kill them. No, that's pretty good. I keep hearing these stories, Phil, when y'all were coming up. So I always said the phrase among the Robertson men was, Who is a man? Who's a man?

So when I met this guy. That was the mantra. We carried that one, you know, that's why no shoes, nope, barefoot only. We travel barefoot about two years at the peak of the Who's a Man, no shoes allowed. So I look back at it now. It's kind of done. A lot of getting drunk.

And you bring in an arm wrestlerler, this is arm wrestling king. A lot of that was mixed in, getting on the highway, and we figured out that a human being on a 40-yard run in the middle of the pavement, everybody drinking, we get out there. It was Highway 167 going in Arkansas.

And you can park your car, and the bet would be I can outrun any vehicle at 40 yards. Drag racing, a human being drag racing, And I continued to make money with that and making a lot of money. But the arm wrestling was there at the bar. That was out back. So I used to take care. The arm wrestling reminds me of my days of wickedness.

Why's it got to be wicked? Our man, we were, we were, we were. Nothing against you, Michael. We were children of the devil, my man. I'll use two phrases that stuck in my mind. and I had our out-of-body experience while Al is giving the lesson. He told me this in the foyer. I had to go tell him.

I had chased him down. I hadn't heard about this out-of-body experience. No, no. I went down there. Lisa was standing there. I said, where did I go? He's in the back. So I run out back.

He's talking to somebody way until he gets through. So I said, boy, that was a good one of that. I said, you gave me an out-of-body experience or maybe it's a vision from God. You know? I said, but while you was preaching, here's what, and me, thinking about it is what's scary. No, it was scary when you said it was an out of body experience. No, no, no, no. It gets worse

because when I was telling Al, I said, when you was talking about, you know, Al said, you know, John the Baptist finally submits to Jesus and baptized him, okay, because Jesus says these words, you know, let it, let it be so. Quit arguing with me, let it be so, okay, because it fulfills all righteousness. Mm-hmm. Okay, so then John DeBaptor went and baptized him, and then the heavens opened up,

and what looked like a dove come from heaven and lit on Jesus and stayed there. Well, guess what? The one that sent John DeBabbis to pave the way for the Lord had told him, the one you see the spirit land on and stay. This is my son. Then the voice from heaven said, this is my son in whom I am well-pleared. Well, while all this is going on, Algo's takes it back to the beginning. In the beginning was the Father, the Word, and the Spirit was hoving over the water.

Okay. Well, when he said that, and I all had said that phrase, and then this is a big moment in time. Okay. It is the moment of time. This is a big moment in time. This is a special moment in time. Here's what I thought. I said, and Al even said it and said,

the spirit is hovering over the water today waiting on you to make your choice to come down and take advantage of what's being offered. That's right. You know, when he said that, I said, hmm, I said, the Holy Spirit is hovering over the water. And I said, then one comes down and submits to, he heard the gospel, he submit to it and is baptized. at that moment the Holy Spirit penetrates the egg of eternity. Okay. And then enters that being when he comes out of the water and he is born again, okay, not of perishable seed.

Yeah. But imperishable. He becomes eternal. He becomes an eternal being. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's why he can't kill us. You know, and I just, I said, and I got, you know, I said, you know, I had thought of a lot of other stuff, but I just, I looked at, then I go back.

Then you saw yourself, you felt something leave your body. Well, no, no, I'm just looking. I'm trying to get back to that. Well, no, the scary part was that I actually thought, okay, the Holy Spirit penetrates the egg of eternity and then enters a being and changes him from a mortal being to. and gives him immortality. Yeah. And you're in on that. And I'm part of that.

So then you were so excited to get spelt like a... Oh, no. So yeah, I got all fired up. Trust me. Oh, that's a good one. So that was exciting because, I mean, I love it because I's so engaged. And a lot of our church is. But that's exactly what we were talking about.

And then I said, I think, on the podcast, Jay, is that the idea I got about that hovering over the water actually came from Jay. Something he said here on the podcast when we were back doing Genesis like a lot. long time ago. And it just plants a seed. See, we're getting all our ideas for the lessons right here. Right here. Do you know, it got my attention? Because I'm a wilderness, you know, water type person, everything.

I'm looking at the creation because it points to the creator. You know, when I saw that phrase hovering over the water, that got my attention. That's right. You know what turned me on is a duck hovering over the water. I was thinking, you know, a mojo to. Oh, yeah. hovering over the water. So when I saw that, you know, in Genesis 1, 2,

when it says the Holy Spirit was hovering over the water. And then I thought, well, wait a minute. The Holy Spirit still hovers over the water. No, no. When a person surrenders to Jesus, you receive the Holy Spirit. So I thought, boy, that's a, I'm into that. Well, I had added a link in in my sermon that I had thought about since you and I talked about that in Acts 2 whenever God ushered in the sort of the era of the Holy Spirit available

for everybody. Because there were a been spirit-filled people throughout. Well, the phrase it says in Acts 2, which I've, because there's a lot of debate in the religious world and confusion about that, but there's a phrase in Acts 2 that I think clears up exactly what happened. I can read it. But it says the Holy Spirit was poured out. That's right.

Well, you think about why do you pour something out? What is the purpose of pouring something out? Is so that you can get at it? Well, share it. Well, it's like if you poured your cup of milk, why'd you pour it so you can drink it? Right. Everybody wants to know. What's in the tea job?

I said, well, it's tea. That's the elixir of life. Okay. Hey, Dr. Oz said that when he was on his show. He did. He asked, he said, say, who has the head? health is liver and nobody guessed you and he said uncle sigh has the health is liver yeah jessica took him when she jumped up she said i am because i'm the youngest and he's the wrong answer that old man is

and she's the what that old man he ain't ain't no way he's got better kidneys than i have he said yes he does because he drinks all that tea that's right it's full of antioxidants i think is what he called that's exactly what he said and so it's uh and just so everybody knows so sye everybody thinks you're drinking sweet tea, but you don't drink sweet tea, right? No, I had to correct them all the time. I said, hey, look, I'm crazy enough as I am. If I drank sweet tea and drank two gallons of it a day, can you imagine what you might see?

It'd be pretty laughed up. Yeah, hey, that'd be, you know, I don't know. We don't want to know. We might not even show that. We haven't had you on the podcast in a while, but you recently had a procedure done to expand your lung capacity because you have COPD, which is kind of a degenerative lung disease. So tell folks about what.

Stupidity on my part. Yeah, too much. Smoking cigarettes for 30 years is stupid. Okay, that's what's caused all this. Yeah, stupidity on my part. But you're here. And so we want you to be around a little longer. So what did they do to you?

And you look good, so apparently, because you just had this son a few days ago, right? Yep, had Wednesday, the seventh. Right. What Dr. Connolly did was, is he inserted a tube down my throat. Then he goes in and looks at my lungs. We had about a month prep. I had to take all kinds of x-rays and go to the heart doctor and get an okay far from her. you know, and she actually put the scope up and checked my heart out and everything's good.

So I finally got all of that done, and then we'll go over there the seventh. Surgery took you know, it ain't surgery, it's an implant. It took about an hour. They go in and he puts a balloon in my lung, blows it up, it shuts off the oxygen supply. That's the only reason they could put them vows in there. If it had not done that, couldn't have done the procedure. But anyway, he blows a balloon up.

It shuts the oxygen off. He deflates it and then puts six Sufferic vowels. Okay. When they're working, you see them working, he showed me a picture. It looks like a brim opening a clothes in his mouth. I'm sorry. A brim is in the fish. Oh, yeah.

It's giving me air because what it's doing is letting before, okay, when I would inhale, you know, my lungs would expand, everything would be cool, but then I couldn't exhale. So I've got all this bad air trapped in my lungs. Oh, yeah. So all he did, he put six in there, and he said, you'll have an even flow now for the bad air to go out. Hmm. We need to rename it, Zah.

Name it the Chinky Pan procedure, which is a... No, no, no. Dr. Conn had too close. I said, hey, my nickname was young, was perchmouth. You know, I was not feel coffee. So he said, you know, when he was talking to me, the rest of the whole time I was over.

I've forgotten that, sir, perchmouth. No, no, he said, well, purse mouth, you ought to feel better, you know. But I, no, I hate to say this for the doctors and nurses and everybody involved at Houston Medical Methodist Hospital. very, very excellent care. But the resurrection is looming larger. Oh, yeah.

Well, no, no, I just tell everybody now, yeah. Death ain't nothing but just change vest dress, boys. But I will tell you this. This made me look at what God, you got to understand something. You're looking at dirt for crying out loud. That's what I was made out of it. Yeah. You're talking about it.

amazing. Okay. You're talking about some soil boys right here. Yeah. Okay. Look, 100,000 miles of blood vessels and arteries in this old man's bodies. You know, that'll go around the earth. It's about twice.

You lost me on that one, but I'll take your word for it. No, no. Hey, check it out. You can Google it. You'll find out It's true. You know, like twice a year's the only time we got to see because you were deployed. You're overseas a lot. But you managed to hunt still through that whole process.

And I want you to describe that a little bit because you've told stories before about hunting in Germany and all that. How did you maintain being able to do that wherever you were? I mean, because we all hunted here. You'd come in and hunt with us for that couple of weeks during the holiday. Well, in Germany, you know, I had a buddy of mine. and he got me to go with him a couple of times to hunt. And he said, when he got ready to leave, you know, he's being shipped somewhere else.

He said, hey, you need to take over teaching the hunting class, the German hunt class. So that's how I got hooked into that. What was that all about it? You taught the Germans how to hunt? Yeah, no, no. I taught the Americans the German way to hunt. Oh.

Because they have a lot of tradition. Really? Well, yeah. Do they duck hunt in Germany? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they hunt everything. Huh. You know, and like when you kill a deer, you go to an oak tree and break a limb, you know, a leaf off.

Oh, wow. And put it in their mouth. It's called last rites. You give the deer, you give the deer a branch? A branch. You put a branch of an oak. And you did this? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. In Germany. Why am I just now hearing about this? Well, you didn't have ever asked me. No. What about? If you'd ask me, I'd have told you the story. What about the deer you shot?

And he went out in the mustard field and died. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, me and my buddy's hunting, okay. He went to the school and I taught him young. Then I took him on a revere that I was on. A what? A revere. That's what they call it.

It's like a ranch. Ranch? It'd be like your property down there. I got you. Okay. So we go hunting and the mustard field is, you know, they're fixing to harvest it. Okay. It's about shoulder high.

The mustard flowers, you know, all of it, all that yellow. We'll never think of them about, okay. It's a pretty field. Oh, yeah. Beautiful thing. And they're all over Germany in the harvest time. So we're hunting and I said, hey, there's a buck and he'll be out there about, oh, probably 150 yards. Don't shoot at me. Too far, you know. So he's sitting there, well, hey, the buck pops up just like I said, you know, and I hear, there's a day. So I come up, it's the dark right before dark.

That was a kitty towel. Well, whatever. That's quite the explanation of gun fires. Well, no, no. Anyway. It was a German, right? I see him. He's out there walking through this stuff.

And he said, I shot a deer. I said, get out of there. You know, I said, get out of there. You know, so he come over number now. I said, I shot a buck right out there. I said, well, number one, you're way, you're 100 yards, this side of where you shot that deer. I can't believe you shot him. I said, you sure he fell?

he said, yeah, he fell. I said, well, you idiot, come on. You know, he's been walking all through the field, you know. So I said, come on, let's go right over here. And I said, then I'll tell you exactly where your deer is laying. Well, how would you know that? Because he popped up every end. I've been watching him for five days.

Yeah. So look, you know, I walk him up there and I said, okay, go out there about 35 yards. He'll be out there. Look, he goes out there. come help me drag him out. Well, we go in there and help him. Look, we wasn't even thinking about the mustard gas. So look, we're staggering after we, we don't pull the deer out.

We're staggering. And I'm talking about, whoa. I said, man, I got a bug on here. This explains a lot. No, no. So look, we take the deer to the guy that owns the property, you know. And we're telling him, he said, oh, no, no, you didn't, you know. He could speak English, you know.

And he got all just blurring Germany, German after a while. And I said, whoa, whoa, they die when they go out of. No, no, yeah. And I said, no, no, no, you don't understand. He said, when we harvest this, he said, we got to wear gas masks. But they got, you know, hunting? Oh, yeah, no, no. He said, don't you ever hear the word gas?

You know, mustard gas? And then we said, oh, yeah. Yeah. But we literally got high off of mustard gas. guy and he said y'all could have died both of you. Did he get the deer for you? Funny when it happened to someone else. Yeah.

Because you were talking about the bumble beats. I don't know if you remember. Me and you went squirrel hunting and you was in front of him and you crawled under a fence in between the bobwire and it was a rotten post. Yeah. That day was up in. Well, Phil shook them up real good. It went on them to.

Well, I've been over, you know. Well, when I did, I ripped my pants. I remember that like a majesty. Oh, no. And all we heard was, you know, just a roar, just a, you know, well, he takes off. He's fascinating.

He played quarterback. How old were, sir? You was, what, 16, I was 14, I guess. But anyway, I tripped behind him. And I had seen it on TV or read it or something about, well, if you fall down, they'll just go over you if you don't move. Well, I didn't know my underwear was hanging out.

How much TV were you watching at 14? Well, I'm just saying. It was like a white flag. It wasn't even around. No, no, look, but it was like, it reminds me of the World War II live footage of the guys and a fighter, you know, fly in the plane. And the lady would look and say, and then they had, well, hey, when I got home, my mother, as she was pulling stingers out of my rear end. Only a mother could do that. Hey, look here.

She's laughing. And I said, it ain't that. funny she said yeah she said young man this is the biggest you're behind will ever be 27 times so hey you tell me getting dope pops well i don't feel near as bad about my little one state i'll fix that you know i'm not i mean you're talking about well is that the only time do you ever got like a no no we used to uh take a little um um a little um one by one by one board and go out in the barn and hit big bumble bees, you know, it would be up there. You know, I hit one and knocked him down where he jumped up and just right here.

Look, and we just, mm-hmm, look, I literally had. We call that the Rudolph yet, sadly. I literally had to walk to school because I looked like Jimmy Durandy. My nose. I'm sorry. I tell you, it was as big as a softball. Jimmy,

who? Jimmy Durandy. It's something like that. I never heard of that cat. No, no, he's got a big snout. Okay,

he was a comedian. He was born that way, and you were made that way. Yeah, I was made that way by a big bad bumble bee. Jimmy Durante actually is his name. Well,

I was close. Oh, you're right. Here he is. Oh, no, he's got a snoot on him now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

He got his natural, but you got you or just other way around. I had to walk about a week and a half sideways. Couldn't see. Couldn't see otherwise. Big as a softball, he figured out having a softball for a nose. So did you learn your lesson about the... Oh, I quit knocking bumblebees with boards.

I mean, when I was a kid, me and my cousin Mark Carraway, I was over visiting in Idaho. And we thought it was a good idea. they had a big old redwash nest about this big as a dinner plate. We thought we had a great idea to throw rocks at them and kill them on the nest. Yeah. Not really realizing what would happen when that first rock hit the nest. And they chased us down the street.

I mean, just, you know, about every third one just swoop in and pop you around the back of the neck. Uncle I filmed. Okay, he had an oil that said he had to go check all the time. well, it had bass ponds on it and he'd go fishing and we'd go with him. And he had a Willis Jeep with a hard top on it. You know, we'd all pile in the back and he'd get in, y'all on the hardtop.

Wouldn't it and everything? You know, we come around with a fork in the road and there's a big old bush over there and there's Purple Tale wash nest about that big area. And you couldn't have put another one on it. Yeah, well, he just pulls up there, stumps on the brake, puts you reverse, and backed us in that bush.

On purpose. On purpose. No, no. He was our uncle and there was about five or six of us in the back. Hold on. And he just rammed it in and the wall just poured in on us.

We can't even get out. We're just brushing there and just p p pia p p pah p pah p pah pah. Hey, that's a real good uncle. Yeah, he just shut the end off in there, die laughing. You don't mean.

He started to understand that. it's all making sense now what the lack of compassion that I felt my whole life from my uncles I know I know it's I know where it came from now yeah no they were mean as bad as it was Zach it wasn't that bad I mean they they were a little lighter than that nobody backed me into a giant wasness no look that was uncle I found hell yeah okay and that's why he was so mean his last name well what about your ain't that that used to paint you oh no that was a hobby I just, okay. And Irene, you know, you'd go, we'd go there for us and eat a big fine meal.

You could pinch you with her toes. Oh, no, look. Hey, you'd be taking a bite to eat some of them. And the next thing you hear, oh! Look. And, hey, come out and just blood sparting everywhere. You don't reach you down there with that big toe and that other one, they just cut you. Probably had a big old nail on me.

I don't know what it was, but she had cut you with her toenail. Were you cutting up, or she just did it to do it. She just did it for a laugh. She'd be over there just dying laughing, and I'm over here bleeding. That's a tough up, brand. I don't know. That's when you, that's when you bathed in a number three wash tub. Yeah.

And I was last. Well, water, and pour an oven in a tub, number three wash tub, and let it warm up in the sun a little bit. That's where people took their baths. All the kids. By birth order, right? All the kids. I got the last one.

Oldest ones first. I think a bath in muddy water. I never was clean. Well, you probably had the warmest water. Yeah, probably warmed up pretty good after two, three of p. Yeah. So would you say we were poor? I bet about it's poor as the snakes, belly.

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