Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 61 | Jase's Elaborate Plan to Set the Mood and 4 Words You Should NEVER Say to Your Wife

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

In one of the funniest episodes yet, Jase reveals the secret to creating a little extra passion in your marriage with his VERY detailed guide to redneck romance. Phil weighs the relative merits of sex and popcorn and wonders if Jase has some "Millennial tendencies." And Al explains that men are microwaves and women are ovens. The guys also tackle a great listener question about righteous anger. -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? You'll find this interesting. So after we do our last podcast, whatever, two or three days ago, I go home and my lovely wife is like, hey, babe, what did y'all do on the podcast today? Which I thought was an interesting question. Maybe she's a listener now. At least it told me she doesn't have the patience to listen to us. So I was like, well, all right, whatever.

What does that mean? I don't know. She doesn't have a patient. That's what she said. That was the way she put it. Why would listen to us? Because Alex, my daughter listens. And so we were talking, she and I were talking about the podcast because she was like,

you know, I have to put up with Papal Phil's misogyny. I said, what were you talking about? She was like, well, when he compares me to a dog. And I was like, oh, well, he's just kidding. When you said that women are like dogs or whatever. Yeah, you offend. But see, Phil does that. That's why I told her.

I was like, I don't remember that fly. Phil has the ability to offend everybody with equal enthusiasm. He's like Trump. He doesn't really mean to. He's just making a point. That's right. So anyway, I said, well, we talked about John too, you know, changing the water to wine. She's like, oh, well, I bet that was good.

You know, I was like, well, yeah, I thought we had an interesting angle. She said, well, of course it's an interesting angle. And then I told her my interesting angle, which was the mirror. really didn't have much of a payoff. Right. Showing you, and I told her, you know, kind of what we came up with was that if you chase miracles instead of the miracle worker, you might wind up at a party drinking some wine. And that's it.

You know, you need to get to the miracle worker to have, you know, the greatness of life and eternal life. And, you know, I did it with passion. She's like, Well, no, I meant that he did that for his mom. And I was like, you know, did y'all talk about that? I said, not really. We mentioned it, but we didn't.

She's like, well, you missed the whole point. I mean, you know, here he was. It wasn't his time. I was like, well, yeah. I said, I didn't really know what that meant. She's like, yeah, but even though his mom was flawed, which some people disagree with that probably. And he wasn't.

He did it. to make her happy. I think that's true. She was like, it was showing, and it was in, you know, this wedding, you know, because women are about weddings. So that was the theme in her mind. It was all about making the mom happy

in this wedding atmosphere showing. Well, it's funny because Alex and I, my daughter, talked about it, And her whole thing was, and we didn't talk about this at all, was that Jesus, the family, the guy that's his wedding and it's his, you know, he's the one that he's the host, that he helped him save face by doing this for him, for these people, like, because, you know, in their culture, and I had not thought about that, that aspect of it.

But so it's really, I guess, you know, women, as you said, are God created a strange. She said, you need to remember that miracle when there's something. that I want you to do that you don't want to do. And so then I'll see where this is going. Yeah, now we get down to it. So then I broke the cardinal roll again because I said, well, you're not my mom, which was, you know, in year one of when Reeve was born.

So we're five years into the marriage. Not my mom. So look, Mother's Day happens. Well, I don't get her a car. It never crossed my mind for the obvious reason. She's not your mom. Yeah. See, that makes perfect sense.

So then she asked me why I didn't get her a card. And I said, you're not my mom. Well, she just immediately started crying. Well, go ahead. There's counseling. I hope we got a close-up of those arrow. There's counseling sessions available, Jay. I mean, you know, if we having a discussion on whether your wife is your mother or not.

That's where I was coming. It's pretty simple if you look at it. Well, you know what I do now? But it'd be a nice just if you did that. Well, every year after that on Mother's Day, I get her a nice little card. Because she is. She's a mom. You know, that was one.

I thought, well, you know, she's got a point. She's her mother. I was, I'm with you. I mean, I don't remember at least they ever crying about it. But I probably got her card at some point. But the good thing was for me, once my kids got big enough, then they took over for that. It's kind of like with you. You know, once they took over, then I never really.

felt like I had to anymore. But I mean, I get it. I mean, our, we were raised in an environment, you know, which is kind of awkward that you're sitting there, but you know, you weren't exactly on Mother's Day. You treated it like any other day, you know.

But through the years, I've told your mother many, many times, especially on the grandmother's side. On what a fine mom and grandmother's She gives you total props that you have really in your ears have grown to express more appreciation for one. There's no doubt about it. That woman does great work with other people's children like the little black kid the other

day, you know. He looked at me. He walked up there and we was in the church building. He said, that's my grandma. And he pointed to Ms. Kay. And Ms. Kay was grinning, you know. Well, the little black dude with him said, well, if she's your grandma, he pointed to me and he said, he's your grandpa.

And he went, whoa. he looked at me and he went whoa he wasn't sure how he felt about that he was going down that road son go all the way with it there's your grandpa standing around beside he's like yo the arrangement has taken a turn is what he was saying it wasn't for the better it's become scary he was just like

I don't know about this you were in his mind you were Abraham she was Sarah you were Abraham you were kind of scary I just thought it was weird I gave him a hug I said, oh, yeah, I'll be your grandpa, man. How people have different perspectives. You know, we talk about these things and we're men.

My point is, before you go further, is that if a little kid says that about a woman who just is there, members of the church, their parents, their parents are not members there, but some of the kids just show up, you know, some of them, a lot of them off the street, whatever. But they come in there. But after Ms. Kay had worked. with him for the last year. Right. You know, it is pretty, I got the drift when he said, she's my grandmother, meaning there was a connection there.

Yeah. That's what the church should be. It should be. Look, families, we convert all these people. So to me, that's far more important than the cards. That's a good thing. Well, right. It's a great self.

But I think early. The reality comes out when you see something like that, you say, you know, Ms. Kay's doing some good with them, young young boys. Yeah. But my point was having looked back in my immature ways. at 23 years old, it's a terrible line to say the reason I didn't get you anything is because you're not my mom. I mean, and I said it, you know, as an immature 23, you know, well, you're not my mom. Well, okay.

Well, my wife has never raised her voice at me. We're not, you know, we're not that kind of, it was about two days of like, are you over this yet? Yeah. I don't, I've never, I've never shopped. in a store where you could get a card for your mother. I've never been in there where you buy the cards. I don't know where you get one.

Have you ever been in the mall that we have here? No. You've never been in the mall. Never been in the mall. I drive by it on Interstate 20 and I see a lot of buildings there. It's been here 35 years. We need to do. You need to have like a bucket list.

I mean, you need to go to the mall once. Just to look. I've tried a few times just maybe to stop in, but early in the morning, you know, I can stop in stores and go and get a package of gum or something and come out. But as far as doing any shopping, the malls are not the current, the current structure of things, it's really difficult for me to just walk into, like a mall walking around because there's just too many people coming up and saying this and that and the other.

It's just way more trouble than it's worth. Well, and the other. just have to stay out of there. I'm more just tell you like it is. In the old days, before the show, way back, way back. Possibly, I could have done it to it. You all used to do a lot of travel for filming the duck videos. When you do that, you all would stop at a store to get some grub or stop at a Walmart.

I mean, that's kind of part of the process. But that's only time dad's ever, what he's talking about is here and locally in town, you don't go to the store. But you didn't, you hadn't done it our whole lives. Oh, no. I didn't do it before the show and all that, but now I certainly don't do it. I just can't do it. It's just too much trouble.

Yeah. Well, I was just fascinated that you actually. But I could send somebody, I guess, to get cards and stuff like that. Well, you fast forward now, I was telling you this about my lovely wife. You fast forward now, now that maturity is taking hold. And somebody said most of the people that are listening are men. So this will be good. There are some women.

We do have a lot of women, but we do have more men, I think. So last night she said, I thought, I thought. I'd do tacos for supper. I said, well, I thought this was after the conversation about the podcast, you know. And I said, I thought I'd try to go catch some fish and cook you supper tonight. She's like, oh, that's a better idea, you know. So now I've put myself out there because, and I think that's part of this, where we're going with this. Because the bottom line is, you know, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking if I pull this off, this.

I know where you're going. Yeah, see, she out of gratitude, you know. Boy, Jay's had a whole strategy set on the aisle. So look, so I take off and, you know, you want to prove your skills, you know, put some pressure on it. You know what I mean? Because now I've, I've... So you're sneaking over to Willie's pine? I've heightened the expectations.

Well, you know, I've got a little tree top down there that I know where the crop is at. I fished there for about five minutes, nothing. And so then, you know, I'm starting to sweat because I'm like, boy, can you believe it? I mean, frustration is mounting now because I'm like, I cannot believe this. So anyway, I tried some other spots and now I'm just, it's getting dark and I'm like, well, it's not going to work. And then, boom, I caught one. And so then I caught another one. You know how it is.

I found, I found where they were. And they're spawning, so they're shallower. That's where the adjustment I made. And you were tying in the number of fish you were catching with your current relationship with your wife because you had promised her fish. In hopes of a reward. It wasn't working out. I would have said something before I had now. They're not biting if they don't catch any.

We might go to plan too. But you're in a, you've got yourself on a buy. I went all in. Because you told her fish fries on the way. She's not going to be like, well, all right, come on if I didn't catch any fish. I realized that once I said, let me cook supper for you. Who is to sleep with a loser? That's what she's like.

She's not going to sleep with a loser. And guess what? In this one moment, I didn't meet my end of the bargain. I should be punished. I've read this to Ms. Kay, y'all's mother, more than once. A woman's beauty, 1 Peter 3, verse 4, should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet. spirit. I didn't write this. God had Peter

write it down. Which is of great worth in God's side. He said, when I find one that's gentle and has a gentle and quiet spirit. And he goes on to say, for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own

husbands like Sarah. We normally stress the father of our faith, Abraham. We sell them, and it's Not quite right either. We seldom tell the fact that Sarah is the mother of her face. So she had a gentle cry.

She obeyed Abraham and called him. You can just run this by Missy, called him her master. You're her daughters, if you do what is right. And an interesting statement. I can tell you like that. Don't give way to fear. You say, well, why would a woman fear being known for a gentle and quiet spirit and being submissive to her husband?

What would she have to fear? Well, try that in today's culture, and let's see how well it works out. But it's because... How many attacks you will receive just because your woman is gentle and quiet spirit? That's Miss Kay. So much of it would occur. To me, it's a sign of strength on behalf of a woman. It really is.

To me, I always start off that Ephesians 5 with that submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. There's neither male or female in Christ. We're all married to Jesus, and always go to that... of all things that groundhog day movie illustration but i but you do understand how the mother of your faith was yeah but let me finish my point in that you know that silly movie when he woke up when he had this power to do the same thing every day which is what kind of marriage illustrates you're doing the same thing over and over again and trying to keep it keep the fire roaring but when he became totally unselfish in everything he did in every relationship you know all then he

moved on. And to me, that's what you got to do. That's why I've set this up. Like, I'm going to cook for you. You know, I'm going to, I'm going to wake up and see how I can, you know, make you happy. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Now, I think, you know, as far as me leading the family in a direction that's north, heavenly, you do that in other ways. But as far as your day-to-day life, if both of you are being unselfish and you're looking at it to the needs of the other one, oh, that thing's going to be vibrant. That's right. So, you know, I get out of the pond.

I knew I needed seven because I'm going to eat five. She's going to eat two because I'm going to blacken her the fish. Seven fish. Well, I'm going to fry mine because I'm a man. That's what I do. But she likes some blackened in butter and olive oil. I know what she likes, you know. We're inside the bowels of the Jason and Missy Robertson,

I knew you would like this story. I like my fish fried. That's what Clint Eastwood said, you know, I like chicken, you know, fried. I don't remember that movie. I've seen every Clint Eastwood. What movie is that? I think it was Clean Eastwood. I like my chicken fried.

Is that Clint Eastwood? I don't know. Tom Belushi said that Bullish brother. We need to get our story. Go on with your story. You got the white perch. Well, first of all, get the white perch. And then I walk down.

because I got to clean them. But, you know, I was back in the house in 15 minutes. She was like, you already got them clean? I was like, yeah. See, she was impressed. I'm impressing her along the way. I went and caught them. Now I've cleaned them.

Just like. This is like a peacock. You know, his feathers are all plumed. He's strutting around, you know. He's taking the submit to one another to a great link to a, sure enough, I mean, his concrete concept. of the walk so you got the fish clean oh yeah and then I cook them she's patiently waiting yeah and I you know we throw in a baked potato here and then I get her plate I'm like yours

are ready hot off the grill you know no she's not doing anything he's just doing it for her yeah okay I hand it to her being a servant she eats it and then I gorge myself with the rest yeah you know and so then I'm like what about it well she can't quit talking about well that's amazing because you know you take a fish that was just swimming 15 minutes ago You're winning her heart. Oh, I won the heart. He's going for the body. I know what he's going for.

The heart's just the means. Yeah. And so after a, you know, a digestion period and, you know, just normal conversation. She's like, well, you know, Mia's at this, she's gone, you know. I'm like, oh, really? Well, see, it's almost like you can hear the music. You're thinking, zing, pay off. Well, I knew that going in.

You said to me. It's all unfolding. Jayce, I haven't quite gotten servitude down to that. Ten minutes before I walked up here with y'all today. Ms. Kay says, I have a chicken. I have a chicken. How do you want me to fix it? I said, let's see.

Whatever is easier for you, Ms. Kay. She said, well, I just thought about it since I was here, he might like sticky chicken. Well, that means because I'm the sticky chicken king. I can cook them. Sticky chicken, we call it. and I'll give you all the recipe later. But anyway, I said, well, if I else here, I said, do you want me to cut the chicken up and make sticky chicken out of it

instead of you having a food with it? She said, I would love that. So I go in, I cut up the chicken 15 minutes ago. It's now in the oven and you brown it, and then you put it in the oven for about an hour, hour and a half, and I season it up real highly. So it's just chicken, olive oil and butter, browned, and you throw about 10 or 12 clothes of garlic over in it

and put a lid on it, put it in it. So you're saying you may get lucky later. No, I wasn't worried about that at all. I did it with nothing in return. But you say, well, you did a serving thing and I had to cook the meal instead of her. I didn't mind it at all. I don't mind it.

I like the process. It does not hurt my manhood to working in the kitchen and fix a meal. No, but my point was I like the process because I got to catch the fish. But I don't go so precise as you are. Like, you were, you know, this thing, you know, this was a five hour. How do I, how to be nice to my wife. Total length of time was. Whether she's my mother or my wife, I'm clearing it up here.

No, that happened years ago. I was saying I was bringing it all together for us here. Jay, you're not a millennial, but you have millennial tendencies from time to time. I have no idea what that mean. I don't either. I was saying my maturity level. has now. I knew the process on what was going to happen if I pulled it off. I wasn't making it a big deal. How old are you, Jays, today? You're 50. 50. But I've done this 100 times. 50 on the button.

50 on the button. I know, you're 50 what? 55. I've just noticed that when I go provide a meal off the land and provide, you know, and clean and cook. I just noticed that it sets a situation for lovemaking that just happens organic. I never had tied those two things together, but I know, I learned something ever day. Nor have I. Have you ever made a connection with that? I have not. I guarantee you. I guarantee you.

Look, you need to go catch some fish, Al. If the fish had not been biting, he's out. That's what I like about it. There's the challenge. You're talking about, look, I got my hat backwards. I don't catch these white perch. There's no sex today. That's for sure.

It all hens on the croppy, the saca leg. Yeah. I have just a much more subtle approach. which I guess. I don't know. I've never thought about it quite like at that level. I'm saying it's going to happen anyway. There's a lot of weird people out there, Al.

I'm just glad I'm not one of them. Yeah, me too. Y'all are missing the point. It's going to happen anyway because we all have good wives and we have good relationships. And we are being unselfish. It's just going to happen anyway. I'm just saying if you want to create a little extra passion, just a little kicker, then you create the competition with yourself in pulling this off.

it's a greater payoff is all I said. That's quite the... Well, I've said this before, but Jason, you've got to remember what old dad here. I'll be 74 in a couple of months. We're just trying to get through the sex thing without getting hurt. That's where we are there. You said I'm saying. Yeah, I don't know.

You haven't reached that. I'm just preparing you, son, for what's to come. And when I get there, I'll try to find a creative way to keep it. There you go. By ble. your fishing maybe. So what you both described from your text reading was, and this is a great lesson for our male listeners out there, especially young husbands, when you live and act like Abraham, it makes it a lot easier for your wife to be like Sarah. No doubt about it. So I'm saying? I mean,

like, one of the things in the text, you understand, Sarah was a great woman of faith, no doubt about it. But Abraham was a great father of faith. Yep. And therefore, he was a godly man. When God told to do something, he did it. And so that's a lot of better. A lot better when both of you were following. No, not about it. But you got to think about it. What is the, you know, for me to get turned on my wife, all I need is to be within

arm's reach. Correct. Because men, we're more, you know, visual and whatever. But women, you know, they like the process. They like the romance. I was trying to introduce some, a foreign concept. You were thinking, Jakes. One guy.

No, it's romantic to her for. One guy said it was like he said when it comes to sex that men are microwaves and women are ovens. You know, it takes a little while to get the temp up for them, but we're pretty much just in one setting. We're ready to rock. See, I did something. Now, this is, we're getting into the details of how I think, which is scary. Yeah. See, one thing I did, one thing I did during this process is I wore gloves when I caught the fish and when I cleaned them.

and my outer, I had two layers of clothes on. So once I had the fish clean, I took the two layer, the top layer, off. Put that in a washer. Because I knew I'm going to cook this good meal, and this process may evolve, which I knew it would. And you didn't want something fishy coming along. I didn't want to be smelling like a fish because that may ruin the moment. You know, this redneck logic is scary at times. Well, I tell you what, Jason, you talk about plan out an evening.

I mean, we're down to the fishmen. So these men will know. That's why I'm telling. That's why I'm so perky this month. So these guys listening will know, you say, Phil, has there been a serious argument between you and your woman in the last 25 years? No. We used to, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm running my mouth, you know, headstrong, you know, younger day.

We remember the best time. But we have not had a serious argument literally in 20. 25 years. I mean, it's just, we just don't do that. Part of the reason that I've sharing this story is, you know, I was like everybody else when you're young and you tend to, you know, especially with the internet and all and you're just bombarded by all this. I hear that.

Porn, pornography and, you know, whatever. Just gutter snipes and. Well, and just, you know, some women dress. Man, I'm just like, what a way to live your life. Well, what I'm saying is to combat that in my mind from, because I'm a one woman, God, that's why God is, you know, I've talked many times. Greatest sex on earth between a man and a woman that are married, God sanctioned, you know, disease free, etc., etc., etc. But in the day-to-day activities to combat the temptation of looking at other women or the Internet, well, I try to just focus all my energy on one woman, which is my wife. So go back to the women on the internet.

Like who is it? My point is, but you're not getting my point. My point is a way for me in my mind not to look at that kind of stuff is to think, to wake up every morning and try to be creative in how I'm going to look at this woman later. You see what I mean? Yeah. If I'm going to channel all my energy, I've heard you say that many times, you need to channel all your energy towards your wife.

You can have all the sex you want it. Well, that's what I'm doing. But a byproduct of channeling. all your energy is coming up with creative ways to keep everything best. It's fun to me. I'm glad I don't have a cell phone. That's just one thing. I don't have to worry about it. Well, look, the internet has now become, not for the more porn on the men's side, women on the connection side. They feel put upon their husband doesn't let me. So they get on the Facebook or something. They connect with an old friend from high school and he tells her, you know, how good

she used to. And all of a sudden. But that's part of two, just typing on the internet. internet, you can be a better version of yourself. That's what's addictive to people. It's fake. Yeah, it's like you meet in a private, like, room that's a virtual room, and you start flirting with somebody. This is how this gets started. And you can put your best foot forward, and there's really no strings or tag.

And that causes excitement with people. And next thing, you know, they're meeting for real. Now, once you cross that bridge, which then it's a. disappointment naturally because you look down and it's just carnal, carnal living. Do you remember the woman, Dad, that did your article in Time Magazine? We've told her story before. You know, the one member, she was the remotely, the Aussie woman. Oh, the one that didn't like one to eat meat.

Right, right. So Belinda's her name. So she did an article about a year ago in Time magazine. I just sat, I'm in a lot of airports. So it was the cover story, and it said something about porn is destroying America or something like that or destroying culture. But it was on Time Magazine. I noticed her name on the byline.

Because I communicate with her ever since she did the article. So I said, I'll get that and read it. You know, probably something I can use. I was shocked when I read it because, you know, she's not a necessarily spiritual person for sure. So she did this strictly from a journalistic viewpoint. But she had all these interviews with most of them were mid-20s to, you know, late 20-year-old men, 20 to 30.

And basically the problem that she discovered was that all these men were impotent. Now, they're vibrant, they're, you know, workout, they look great, but they couldn't have sex with their girlfriend, wife, significant other, whatever. Over and over and all of a sudden this huge problem. Well, there's been now enough data. The problem was all these young men started on porn when they were, you know, pre-tebrose. looking on the phone, internet, whatever. And they were so drenched in the porn that when they got old enough for a real woman, well, it was not, yeah.

Couldn't do anything. That's how their mind. So they were, it's funny, they were all this anti-porn movement of these young men. Nothing to do with God's spirituality, nothing in the article even mentioned what we would say. Yeah. You know, coming from a biblical viewpoint. But I found it interesting that even in a world setting, that people recognize how dangerous this is and how bad it is.

And these young men, they were struggling. They were like, I mean, are we going to spend our whole lives not being out of sex now because we're addicted, we were addicted to porn? So they're basically saying, get off the porn. I didn't know that. Yeah, it was amazing. I just couldn't believe it. I mean, it made sense.

It's not a real, it's a fantasy land in your mind, you know, of the evil one. I mean, it's not the real, not the real world. Well, it's the same thing you were talking about a minute ago. It's, it's not real, just like the other part in real about people they're fake and high behind. They call it catfishing, you know, where you all of a sudden they're talking to how great there. And then if you looked at them in the real life, you're like, who is this person?

This isn't the person I've been talking to for the last six months. I mean, in the real world, that's how fake it is. You have your wife. You enjoy the process. I mean, these are, this is your, this is a person. Right. She's not here, you know, just to make you happy. I mean, you just enjoy the process.

You laugh sometimes. Sometimes you're like, you know, what the world happened? I don't know. Well, you always said, Dan, you're teaching, I mean, us growing up here and you did a good job with us, is like, look, this is the way God says is the best way. And you have your wife, your woman, as you said. And then, I mean, you keep it with you and her. That's your process. You're going to be happier.

Your life's going to be bad. And there's no doubt. That's true. That's been a truism. No doubt about it. was saying is if you bring a few bells and whistles to the process, it can make it a little more enjoyable. All right. So you got that, dad? I don't want anybody getting hurt. You might not are to do what I'm telling you because you've had a series of injuries the past year. And I,

that now that I've thought about it. That's a lot of pressure on dad because he has got to go go catch some fish. I mean, that's a lot to ask for. Although dad's pretty good about it. I mean, I can hear it now. you know, feels like I dislocated my hip. So what happened? Well, it all started when I cleaned some fish. Yeah.

Blackened them. Well, I have a back egg now, but it's certainly not from having too much sex. I'm actually glad. I'm actually glad that the sex drive goes down when you get into 70s. I'm mid-70s. It's kind of a blessing.

I'm telling you. Yeah. I like the fact. God designed it that way. I don't have to deal with that anymore. Yeah, that's not the driving force in your life. I don't care if one walks by half negative. You say, you've done moved past all that.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I had my misery because of it when I was in my younger day, teenage on up to, you know, through college and, you know, just drunken, drunken, whatever. But I, so I bet with it. But I look back at it now and I said, boy, what a, what a fool I was. It's just, you know, it's so feeding. I thought using my head.

Part of the reason I didn't, I trust in God on this, was listening, you know, to you on that, too. I mean, I just, you were like saying that kind of speech as a kid. That now that's something I don't have to fool with. I mean, I thank him. I remember you saying, well, not really jokingly, but it was funny. You remember the crossover time, this had probably been 10 years ago, when you said, when it gets down to me and Ms. Kay were watching the movie and say, what do you think, sex or popcorn tonight? I think I'd rather have the popcorn.

So it's like, you know, we're okay. We're good. That's good. I mean, that's when you kind of had. Let's go with a popcorn. Okay. I love the choice being laid out there. It was pretty good.

So this is why I love the unashamed podcast, by the way. So we start out with a story. We went off into the whole wild part of life and marriage and everything else, which is good. I thought y'all would just agree. I didn't know it was going to become a point of. conflict. I've been called a millennial. I just never have heard that well thought out of a plan that we finally going to end up in the, hey, I just never thought, I never, I'm sharp. We've got to part-mentalized every move I was making. We rarely get a peek into Jason's mindset.

Yeah. It is quite the mindset. And you wonder why these yuppies act like they do. I'm like, yeah, okay. I'm going to make a bet. The more people listening to what we talked about are going to be on my side than y'all they're going to think that's awesome you're acting like i've you know discovered some new you know i just never heard that well thought out of me either i just a plan that was that well thought out yeah that thing was man i'll tell you what it worked man i got to catch each fisher i'm done today well that's the rut i mean that was appealing to the to the competitive nature of male he was going into his manhood.

I mean, like, he challenged yourself. I like putting myself to the test, you know, my fishing skills. Because, look, my weakest area of fishing is croppy fishing with a pole. I'm not, that's not one of my strengths. I could do it. I would have just inserted something along the line if I don't catch his fish. Plan 2 is, you know, I don't catch you any. But James was thinking, oh, he had no plan B.

My manhood is riding on whether I catch his fish. Exactly right. You got it. We can move on now. Yeah, okay. That's fun. That's not fun to you? Oh, geez. He comes up with something. Yeah. There's no courage. He's a good thinker, but sometimes be like, yeah. Sometimes he's overthinking it.

There's no courage. Don't overthink it, Jace. Can I give you this? There's no courage if there's not a possibility of danger or failure. I didn't read that somewhere, but somebody needs to write that down. Where's the courage in that? We've had a Ceyla moment here. I just, I don't know.

Next question. What's the question? All right, so we got some questions that we were going to do. Now the podcast is almost over. But we'll do one. This is a pretty good one that a lot of people struggle with. And so Kathy asked us. She said, where's the fine line between showing love like Jesus taught, which obviously he did and lived,

and having what she calls righteous. anger like the Bible talks about. So how do you, what's it is how do you, how do you be like Jesus and deal with anger? Righteous anger is a healthy emotion. Because if you took anger out of the human race, if you took it out where it didn't exist,

no one or one ever got angry about anything. Some things you need to be angry about. It's not right. Yeah. I mean, injustice, the killing of the unborn. I mean, that should make you, it's not right. It's nothing right about it.

Well, whoever the guy said that life is 10% of what happens and 90% how you respond. I mean, being angry, if you took that in the light, if that was the 10%, then what you do about that anger for the 90% would be my illustration on that. I mean, it's like it's okay to be angry. but how you act on it, there's where the problem they come. You can be angry, but you don't have to sin, and you say, well, what's the possibility

that will come out of my anger? You verbally lash back out at someone who has sinned against you, and you're mad. You verbally chastise them, cursing, and whatnot. You say, that'd be sin. Or you physically start putting your fist between their eyes. You say, okay, now you're beating them high after death because you got mad, whatever she said. We talk an argument.

You say, that's out. All you be sinning. Don't, in your anger, do not sin. Where is that? Where is that? That's Ephesians 4.26. So the bottom line is you say, well, what's the third thing? You say, what if I just keep my mouth shut and walk away?

There's still the danger, even though you didn't lash out physically or verbally, when you leave the contact and you walk away, you're bitter because. they did what they did to you, which was not right. So you say, well, there's no way out then. There's a way out. Just forgive them. Yeah. Forgive them and walk away.

And don't be bitter because bitterness is worse than lashing out physically or verbally. So anger. That's my take on it. Yeah. Anger is the way you're describing it is the same way that Paul said in Ephesians 4. It's a gateway emotion. You don't have to sin just because you're mad. Right.

In your anger, do not sin, and here's the way he put it, do not let the sun go down while you're still angry. In other words, something makes you mad. So now we're talking about the sun going down. So we're talking about a day here. How long does it hold? And then it says in verse 27, and do not give the devil a foothold. That's why the people who murder their own children, I hate that practice.

But I don't hate the people who are doing it. I would tell them, look. Let them live, man. Most of them are confused. I mean, I wouldn't get, I wouldn't bang them up. and knock them on the side, throw them up against the wall because they're killing their children. I would just say, it's not right. That's not the right reaction. You know, that was that Ephesians 4 is a quote from Psalm 44, which says, in your anger did not sin.

When you're on your bed, search your hearts and be silent, which is a good thought in that you search your heart and see what your motive is. You know, I don't know why this part of my mind. I saw the biggest anger issues and problems that I've ever seen in my life when our church did an organized flag football season. When our church, it was a church sanction event because all of us are coming up. And that brought forth anger? Oh, my goodness. Incredible. We did it on Wednesday nights after we met together.

Fist fight. You know, hey, we're all down there talking about the Lord and how good he is. And then they've never heard this story. Fis fight after the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cursings. I mean. Cursing.

Look, one night, Willie, me and Willie were on the same team. And, of course, we won. Shocker. You know what's funny about Willie? Somebody need to give a lesson on repentance. Oh, we had some. Well, look, one night. We had to quit the league.

Well, one night, because look, here's what happened. I shut it down. It's like Willie was in a situation where he had dated some girl. Well, we're going back 20, 30 years, before he was married that was now married to one the members, which I didn't even know that, you know. And I was sensing some tension. Well, I didn't know that. And then that guy who was one of our receivers, he, like, threw the ball at Willie,

like when we were huddling up. I mean, like right here, from me to you, of course, you know, Willie did this. And, you know, and this, it was just a, because of, we're in this competitive game. We're trying to win, but it's flag football. And it's church playing football. And I just thought to myself, I just remember thinking about these verses thinking, you know, we can all, because it's right across the street from the church building, we all go to church building and they're singing and all. And we can't come out here and play a game without all this chaos and this anger. Which is why I said, based on that text, verbally or physically last, you were seeing both.

That's why I'm saying you have to be, keep your body under control. to not verbally lash out, not to physically lash out, and if you leave bitter, that's the worst one of the busts. You say, well, there's no way to get out of this situation. Just be a forgiving person and let it.

So you got mad. You don't have to run your mouth about it or pick up a club and beat your neighbor. I throw a football at it in between the eyes. I had to shut the lead down because I played too. I wasn't out there for everything that happened, but I would play it once in a while.

But I had to shut it down because one of our staff, he was a missionary in residence, and he tied in with one of the members. I mean, they literally came to blows. And he was working for the church. I think it's more a sign of if you see what y'all are talking about that unfold in front of it. It's more a sign of maturity than it is. But you know, I think it's an identity thing.

Young in the faith. A lot of it was. Willie and I also, you know, we play basketball. and what's funny is the City League, it was way better than the Church League. And I think this Church League, you know, competition, these people are so, you know, they get embarrassed more, you know, somehow another,

or they're not tough as far as, you know, being able to get over, so they get the feelings heard and everybody, you know, is what I'm saying, they seem to be more common. Well, the worst ones with a guy, especially in basketball, were the guys that maybe played small-time college ball or something, and they were pretty good. You see these clips that come out from the news media, like Little League Baseball,

and the parents is where all the trouble comes from. I mean, the kids are playing ball, but the parents are having fistfights. I went 14. Beating up referees. I went 14 years in Little League Baseball with my two sons, and I coached a couple times. toward the end because I figured it out. It's all about the parents, you know.

I mean, that is it. But I had more altercations, and I saw more things in those 14 years about anger over a call being missed. You know, here's a guy. They're paying him $25 to call a game. You know, he's in college somewhere. And, you know, what do you think you're going to get? You think he's going to get it right?

At the professional level, they don't get it right, you know, half the time. Well, this guy's like, Al, he don't know. And everybody just, I've seen them go crazy, the law being called, you know, and here we go. Forgiveness, Al, in any culture, but especially in America, forgiveness comes slow, man. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's at the heart of why people do what they do. You say they're unable just to say, give me a break. It's a little league ball game.

What am I doing? fighting my neighbor here. Well, it's hard to look at big picture, though, because it's all angers about that short term. You just think how many crimes have been committed and just in a fit of race. You know, there's a phrase in there that says a fit of rage. Yeah. And that's what happens. You just lose it in the short term.

And you can make a decision that will cost you the rest of your life. That's why Jesus, when they came to him and they said, so how often should we forgive somebody? seven times before we turn loose on them. And Jesus said, it's 70 times seven. His point was, you have to live a life. If you're going to solve this anger issue, you have to learn how to forgive or you're going to be mad when you get up in the morning.

Yeah. But I also think you've got to learn. What happened yesterday? Listen, there are people to be angry. And, you know, what's the old movie, the Hackett's and the, I mean, McCoys. Yeah. Hatfield.

Yeah, you know, they had a, they got to where it was called a feud. For generations. Generations. Yeah, 100. And they don't even, they ended up not even knowing why they were mad at each other. But a lot of it's the way we train her kids. You know, when I went to Montana the other day, there was a woman. And she had a, I could tell she was the grandma.

And I would say this kid was five, you know, five or six. But the kid was a tear. You know, when I turned around, I acknowledged them when I first came. Hey, well, you know, she's cute, a little girl, you know. But I just noticed her response was weird. Like, because the grandma was like, hey, how you doing? The kids, like, looking at me like, don't be talking to me. Kind of disrespectful, I thought, didn't, you know.

And, boy, that was, that was the beginning of the storm. That kid, you know, I mean, you got rules on an airplane. You know, you sit down and put your seatbelt on, shut your mouth, you know. Well, that kid was playing with. of that seatbelt and I thought well that's not going to work because the stewardess is going to say anything and the grandma kept saying now put your seatbelt on you know when she put it on then take it off so that wouldn't have put your seatbelt on put your seatbelt on about the 50th time I want everything in me was screaming to turn around and say you say it once and then there's consequences because that kid

was a terror and the kid kept getting mad about every little old thing and I thought This is what happens when there's no consistency. No structure. No structure and no discipline. The kid's frustrated because the kid wants you to say, no, I said no. I mean, one little pop. Okay, we're good. Not going to have anger issues.

It never happened. I was on that flight for three and a half hours. The same thing was said hundreds of times and there was never a consequence the whole time. In fact, when we landed. I wonder why America has an anger issue. Look, when we were taxi into the gate, she's like, nope, it's not time to take your seatbelt. Look, she took her seatbelt off and ran down the middle while the stewardess was like, get back in your seat, you know?

And then she snapped. The kid started hollering, and I was like, you don't see where this is headed? I mean, this girl is going to be a terror. She already is a terror. Yeah. And she's mad, and she don't know why, all because you just won't stop. life and say, I'm going to say this once and there's going to be a pop and everybody wouldn't have been happier.

Out in this world out, get away from the Bible. If you don't have any knowledge of God, you say anger. What's the problem? I mean, they won't even acknowledge that there is a problem. I know. So we'll close it out with this. This is another good verse we didn't read. This is a great verse to live by.

It's basically concerning this topic. This is James 119. My dear brothers, take note of this. It's something you need to listen to. Everyone should be quick to listen, more listening, slow to speak, less out, and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. So that's the half brother Jesus. I noticed he said a lot about the tongue, James did.

Yeah. But slow to speak. That means don't, because the first. thing I mentioned while ago is when they last back, he used it with this mouth. Let me bring up, he later on and James four said, what? James Ford, he said, what causes squirrels among you? And, you know, we're talking about our wives and all this. You want something and you don't get it.

It always comes back to expectations. People in basketball, they get embarrassed. Why? Because they're not as good as they used to be. Or you're better than me. And I'm mad and you made me look bad. That's why you make your identity in Jesus. and you lower your expectations about everything else.

The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boast. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire. A world of evil among the parts. It corrupts the whole person, and it sets the whole course of his life on fire, and it itself set on fire by hell. I mean, if you read that, you're like, whoa. I thought you were getting angry about getting angry.

No. I'm just saying I'm raising my voice slightly because when I read that, I'm like, boy, that tongue, just think about how many times your tongue gets you in trouble. You say, learn to control your tongue. Look, in America, I mean, people are just walking down the street. It's pathetic. I just learned a lesson. Never try to close the podcast by. Introducing one more verse because, I mean, that just got that back in the mode.

He was back in the zone. Read the book of James. Read the book of James. Read the book of James. And don't be so angry. Yep. So we're so glad you guys were with us today. You can subscribe on iTunes or Spotify or YouTube or Facebook.

And be sure and rate us on iTunes so that other people can know about the podcast.