Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 631 | Phil’s Word Fumble Almost Makes Jase Pee His Pants & the Bible Verse Everyone Avoids

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

Phil got more than he bargained for watching pro football games, but he has trouble explaining it! Women, love, and marriage are on the guys' minds as they praise their wives and explore God’s plan for how husbands and wives should treat each other. Jase watched a really good movie recently and ponders the works of author C.S. Lewis. Plus, there’s at least one verse in the Bible that no scholar or preacher wants to touch … except for Jase!  In this episode: 1 Peter 3, verses 7-12 -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? All right, we're back in our normal spot, Jase. Back in, back in the layer. This is it. This is us. I feel like we're like those people that show up at church and they're like, oh, wait, someone's sitting in my seat. They must be a visitor. Dang it.

Don't get in my seat. Yeah. So we're back in our pew. We're back in our normal pew in the layer. We had our outing yesterday. Dad, we, let's see, that you, yeah, there you go. Yeah, that was a, that was a bold move. But having, having reflected.

We had a record number of seven people on. Yeah, I wish we'd had eight. But I was very impressed with our wives. I'm going to have to give them credit. I thought they were. They were a great discussion. They're smarter and, uh, they certainly look better. Righter.

Yeah. They look better than a... I mean, there's just a lot of qualities that I'm going to go ahead and say. They're just better, Al. That better. It makes us better. Yeah. Don't you think, Dad?

Well, if you listen to the world's analysis of marriage and all that, and all that, and all that, and all that, In other words, you can be blessed and you can get along with your mate, your wife. It's not like, we can't do anything. It doesn't work. We prove yesterday it works. That's right. Well, that's a good, I think.

I mean, we've had a decent conversation or two-hour meeting with the women. If something was a miss, it would kind of flow forth. I thought about it. So Rogan, Joe Rogan is the number one podcast in the world. And I thought, and I don't know this because I don't, I've listened to his podcast and it is intriguing. But I thought, I wonder if he ever brings his woman on to hear her side of, you know. Does he? I don't know.

Oh. But I thought it would be a bold move. I mean, he probably doesn't. Someone would probably know that answer. Somebody can let us know from Unashamed Nation. But I thought we do. because, and we didn't know what they were going to say, it was just like, but we were in a context that dealt with women and wives. And I thought, what better way to do that than hear their take on?

I think one of the reasons you did that is, you know, we all look at what scholars think about these verses and we do our own personal study. We really don't have a plan together. We just each individually study. This becomes our discussion of our individual study. Well, right. Right. I think it's why you're there. I just got one more statement and I'll finish that.

What I was going to say is that I was shocked at the lack of commentary and information on First Peter 3, as in almost none. Cricket Town. Well, and that's what I was going to address. Now, material coming out of eons or time. That's, we know for sure, you know, five, six thousand years. And you don't see many writings, in-depth writings about how to get along in your marriage. Correct. What's interesting is that, biblically speaking, I mean, you think, Jase, you found it hard, he found it hard to come up with any information.

And look, marriage has been there, even the great analysts and the non-believers and get that Bible out of my face. It is worthy of note that there is a system implemented on how to get along, my male and female in marriage. Marriage goes way back. I mean, I don't, I'm not a historian, but. Biblically, it predates all religion. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. the very first man and the very first woman. That's right.

We're also husband and wife. That's right. And marriage was instituted. So it was before Judaism, before Christianity, oh yeah. Before Islam. Yeah. Before Buddhism.

Obviously, when you think why that is, even if you took God out of the equation. I just think it worthy of note. When a man and a woman gets together, there is a procreation that can occur. Correct. That actually works. Yeah.

Populates the earth. Yeah. Which is why the current... And it's regulated by God with the text that you read about. If we went back on a background study, it would probably, you know, it'd take us for a while. But if you look at all the text on marriage and wives and husband, it's a lot, how? Well, and that's why the current, what I would call reimagining of marriage in our current culture. It's biblical.

The current reimagining of marriage away from biblical principle doesn't produce procreation. Well, right. I was laughing because that's news to a lot of people. Yeah. It's like, well, yeah, but it still produces, you know, covenant and relationship. You're like, yeah, but at the heart of it, the reason it was created originally was, was to create recreation, relationship. As embarrassing as this sounds,

I've actually had studies and discussions where I'm like, look, you're here because your mom and dad got together one day. And they're looking at me like bewildered. I mean, and so I just think there has been an attack on marriage and gender and the way we're created. And is somebody going to,

to make the case that wives being submissive to their husband and husbands, you know, be aware, be compassionate or humble, consider it, respectful. Treat them with respect. Honor. Honor. Yeah. So we're going to, we're going to male meets female. Well, it is written the whole example of anybody being married.

I'm just having to say it comes from the Bible. I don't know where else you could get some information on, how do you marry some of these women and stay married for 50, 60 years. And another thing is the idea that just the current culture is the latest attack on marriage because we know from what, remember in Matthew 19, we talked about this when we studied Matthew, they were going at Jesus about divorce. remember and he said the only reason god even allowed you to divorce under israel wall was because

your hearts were hard he never intended that to be the case that's correct so in other words that was an attack on marriage polygamy was the same way god never intended for that to be the norm no so so there been attacks on one man and one one for life since the beginning yeah because that's how far did we go genesis five before the guy comes along lamek and has two wives it was like i mean i mean We didn't dream this marriage thing up. No, God said it from the beginning. But a lot of reasons, a lot of the reasons why marriage is under attack is because some of the religious world, they had an attack on women. Exactly.

And so all of a sudden, there was a pushback, which wasn't right either, and it's not right. And because religions tend to make this rule-oriented and legalistic. And so they look at these passages so close. There's something that's missed here. And so then the world pushes back because they're like, well, I'm not being involved in that. And so then you have this fight that ultimately happens. And then the result is some of these passages like this that have these glaring statements that everyone tends to say, well, I mean, I can't believe that's in the Bible.

and so nobody wants to talk about it. Right. Now there's a lot of fine clothes being made for women and hairdoes. I'm just a man watching the world's women going around in movies and whatever. You know, Matt Dillon, I go, I watch one. I was going to say, and you're doing it from a very limited. If you're fixed to give some fashion advice, that might not be your lane. Well, it could be.

That says in 1860, boys. You start going down the road on Matt Dillon, and you start looking at all the marriage troubles, and they do everyone that's in the Bible, every issue or every complaint. I mean, the people are there, they're in lust, and they all get all dialed up and the clothes become an issue.

I mean, it's been there. I'm thinking since God made us. Yeah. I mean, it is an issue. And he has a roadmap that will make it better if you would but read what he had to say about it. I mean, this is like, we're not talking about some counselor, some marriage counselor wrote this. Talking about a commercial fisherman. His job was to write a couple letters.

And to prove your point, so Job, which almost all scholars agree, Job is one of the most ancient books in the Bible. He was way back in the probably pre-flood days. Was family structure in there? Way back. And look, he writes in Job 31-1, Job says, I made a covenant not to look lustfully at a girl. He made a covenant with his eyes. With his eyes.

So this is a guy that's living in the ancient times that obviously lust was an issue way back then. Yeah. So to your point, that's been the case all the way through time. This projecting your, what's a good word for women's, whatever. I mean, you get to watching. And look, there is more jumping up and down. I don't know how you could come up.

They have delved into every possible angle. Get the breasts in there. And every commercial. Well, after a while you're saying, I mean, give me a break here. I mean, it's almost like they're addicted to it. They just, you know, check these breasts out. All women have them. Sex cells.

But it's also, I think, kind of demeaning toward women because you're just using that, you know, the lust from men. Because you're right. It's on, you know, even a football game. Too much. They literally cut to that every 20 seconds. Yeah. You don't realize it until somebody. pointed it out.

I was like, I'm thinking, you know, I mean, back off, crap for crying out loud. I mean, okay,

we got it. But I mean, it's just over and over and over. It just, and you're right. When I went to an NFL game, I went to a cowboy game, and it was amazing because you're at the game,

so it's in this huge stadium, but at every platform that you looked and on the screen, when football was not being played, there were gyrable. scantily clad women at every platform. That's right. Like on this end down here, over there, on the field, up here, on the screens. And this is all about a football game.

I came to watch a football game. I got way more gyrating women in scantily claddened. It's just too much. Everybody's going to say, well, I don't know, you're just an idiot, you know. But I mean, give me a break. No, what we talked about before, though, so we had our wives on, they talked about where true beauty comes from, which is a dress. But then what I was saying is, so religious groups, they go so far on the other end.

And we talked about this before we started today. You know, you mentioned that time we brought all those teenagers to the Lord out at camp. And look, these people come out of the world. They weren't dressed modestly. It was, we shared Jesus with them. Well, then they start showing up at church. church events. Yeah, a quarter, a quarter of the people that came to camp that week came to Christ.

So, so there were a hundred. It's over a hundred and some people came. Well, a quarter of them were not Christians. Well, obviously, when they came to camp, it's in the summer in Louisiana, they didn't bring modest clothes with them because they don't own modest clothes. Well, and they, they're not in love with Jesus before they came. Before they came. So their wardrobe matched that. Right. So guess what? They come to Christ, and then the elders, you know, pull you aside. they didn't, they didn't, you know, get me. Right. Because they probably knew I'd be.

Because I worked for them. So I got pulled into a meeting. While your own elders. This one, this one didn't go up and say, oh, okay, look. No, this was years. It was a chief elder. It was a chief elder. They're like, hey, what do you need to do something about these girls and what they.

Well, he basically chewed me out because of when he happened to come out for a visit one night to check on how things are going at camp, what he noticed, and he was right, what he noticed was people dressed in modestly. And he was correct. But what he didn't give us the chance to say was, these people were coming in from out of the world. We were teaching the good news. The good news was when they left, they understood more about modesty and, you know, dress more. Well, it takes time to, you know, when you come to the Lord, you realize you're using a new basis. It's a new start, is the point. Which was the point our wives were making and we made in the last podcast was how you view yourself differently as a daughter of the almighty god and that's that's the thing that's different that's what the text is talking about

you know marriage mirrors god's love for us which is you know the world will say people who don't believe they say boy you christians y'all take all these examples from earth and then try to, you know, use those as examples for your religion, like marriage. And so I remember hearing a seminar taught by Tim and Kathy Keller, because they wrote a book, I think it's called The Meaning of Marriage. I highly recommend it. It's good. Anything Keller does.

Hang on, Jess. Let's take it back. It's good, but they were doing, you know, a seminar on it. And actually, the wife, she made a point that when she went to, you know, studies at college and different things, she was like, she heard this atheistic approach about, yeah, you're taking everything on the earth and trying to apply it to your God. And she said she read a book by C.S. Lewis that turned that on its head. And it was like a real moment in her Christianity because she was. like, you know, when she read it, it was like, well, what if from C.S. Lewis's perspective,

God's creation, he created it to be able to use the metaphors found within it to apply to his heart. So, you know, like marriage, you understand really love in that moment. You know, because most people, to use this as an example, they read First Peter three, the things that stand out is oh wait a minute about what a woman wears and all this controversy oh is it wrong to wear fine clothes and well then they hear uh you know they hear that sarah obeyed abraham and called him her master oh whoa what in the world take a black pen and that can't whatever that means i don't want any of it and then when it gets to the husband's part this line that says you know be considerate with and live with your wives, treat them with respect as the weaker partner.

And so most of the sermons you hear in the religious world all revolve around those three issues. What does that mean? Which is really missing the whole point of marriage, especially as we view it, you know, Ephesians 5, but ultimately we're the bridegroom of Christ. And you both have an opportunity to be Jesus in this marriage relationship. But what I was going to say is, you know, when I heard that, and by the way, the, you know, speaking of C.S. Lewis, I'll give you a movie, a movie night. I watched a movie the other night. Now, what is the name of that? The most reluctant convert, I think, is the name of it? Is it the new one that just came out? Yeah, I watched that. Yeah. Awesome. And it's like, you know, we talk about Phil's movie. coming up. The Blind, which I don't know if we've given the details of how that movie works,

but in this movie, it's basically, it feels kind of like a documentary that he's given himself, like an older version of himself, but it's like he walks through the scenes. It's really cleverly done. But it's basically up until his conversion. And, but they just. used his writings but it was well it was very well done and and the I think the guy that I think the guy that put it together we're talking to him about being on our podcast actually so well it was awesome I was very impressed so the

what did I say the name of what the most reluctant convert right that's the name of yeah and well the reason I'm making a big deal of this is I don't want to give any part of the movie away because it was very it was I my wife and I watched together. It was, we loved it. But, uh, you know, he, he basically just from studying and looking, I mean, because he couldn't have been any more against God in his, his early life. And he just went on this journey of studying and, uh, and just using logic and reason. And he basically just came to Christ out of, out of just sheer study. Just there was no, he kept having problems, but one of the things that I thought was hilarious in the movie is so once he had made

this decision to believe in God, and he was very adamant. He didn't, he didn't, at this stage, because he came to Christ in stages, wasn't saying that he became a man, he wasn't ready to deal with that, but he's like, there's got to be a God. I can't get around it. So he started visiting the local church. He just picked one. And he's like, as much as I could not just get around that there is a guy, he said, the church, oh, not so much. Because it was one of these kind of boring dog, and he, you know, he just seen with his eye roll and some of the things they were coming up with. But you know what I found fascinating is it didn't deterring. And I think in marriage also, when you apply that, when you come to Christ and you understand what love is and you apply that to marriage,

marriage brings out the worst in you. You realize that you've got nowhere else in life. Do you realize how many problems you have until you get married? It just brings them out. You can't help it because she's going to say something. And you're like, wait a minute now, what's wrong with that? You know, there's so many of, so many things that I've realized where I had flaws that I never would have realized had I not become married.

I had somebody to tell you. Yeah. Because she's going to bring it up. It may be after three days of silence, you know, depending on wherever you're at and you're married. But the reason I'm bringing this up, it does, it does mirror our relationship with God in that once you come to Christ and the more you start walking with Christ, you start realizing where you're weak at and where you're messing up.

You read something, you know. And I love how that. It's like a marriage, your relationship with. Well, that's what I'm getting at. It's the closest thing. And so here's my point. That was a long rant to get to these three controversial verses in here that no religious writer wants to touch and a lot of religious groups abuse is when you just read the definition

of love from God's Holy Spirit. You know, love is patient, love is kind. It doesn't envy. It's not boastful. It's First Christmas 13th. We've read these a thousand times. It's not rude. It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil. It rejoices with the truth. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It always perseveres.

It never fails. So when you have a loving relationship, Yeah. Whatever respecting and considering your wife as the weaker partner, whatever that means, it's probably not what you thought it mean. Because it's nothing negative. You know, immediately the first thing we think of is, well, obviously, the difference in a way a man and a woman are set up physically. Because it's like you can look at the stats. You know, I think men have broken what, a form of? men at mile, women, they're not even close to that. There's no record. We're literally set up differently. So immediately, that's what I think. I'm like, well, it's a physical thing, but I know this.

Which fits the context of the submission and the idea that he's not a Christian member, the idea that you're in a position. Or adding putting, having men come in. and participate in women's sports and they're, well, right, that really brought that to light. Oh, yeah. Because now everybody's outraged, they're like, wait a minute, this is not fair. Right.

Oh, so there is a difference in. I mean, these women are not muscle up and whatever. They can't do what men do when they, when you. Well, it was amazing. But here's my point. I don't want to go down that road so much, because that's what every, you know, what does that mean?

Because unless I know I can't be a believer. Well, we know it doesn't mean mental acuity. We proved that on the last podcast. Yeah. Well, and it's, You know, it goes back to Jesus. It can't be talking about that or spiritual. It goes back to Jesus humbling himself.

And, you know, in John 14's another controversial passage where Jesus said that God is greater than him. Well, go read commentaries on that. And people are like, why would he say that? Well, we know it's not talking about he's, you know, God the Father is not more important than Jesus. or nobody thinks that, but he assumed a different role. And when you read Philippians too, it kind of makes sense to me. And what does make himself lower? He made himself lower.

And so, well, it's the same thing with men and women. You know, we're all equal with, you know, each other. That's what God's whole plan did. We're all on equal footing, which is why you have the Galatians 3 passage, where it says there's neither male and a female, a slave nor free, Jew or Greek, we're all sons of God. If you think about it, Joseph, let's take it more.

If you think about it, would you think any less of Missy if she couldn't beat you in an arm wrestling contest? Does that make her less of a woman in your eyes? Why is the religious world obsessed with this one question when it's almost like the legalistic tendencies of humanity? has to make those things fit. And I said all this to say when I brought it to C.S. Lewis, I mean, he had a, from watching that movie,

you know, something very profound hit me in that. There was a lot of moments where I thought, well, that's good. But one moment that he didn't really say, it just, I just kind of put the pieces together. Because here's one of the smartest men. you know, it's very, it's filled with new words. We could pick a word from that movie for every week of words I had to go look up with a dictionary. But here's a guy that's very smart, read, you know, more books probably than most people in the world.

And he concluded that you're never going to analytically grasp the triune nature of God. you're just not smart enough. There's not, we are one-dimensional beings, even though we're body, soul, and spirit. You do not have the capacity to analyze God and the way his three, whatever you want to, I'm having trouble to even explain it. That's right.

He didn't put it into words. But one thing he did say, but God's plan, the reason he chose the foolish things of the world and those that may not be wise. But God, when he became human, he gave us something that could relate to it because we could experience it. And he started talking about love and joy

and these kind of qualities that you could experience the triune nature of God because look, we have a father who loves us. We have a Lord, you know, a brother who died for. We have a Holy Spirit who helps us. us in thought and in our souls and and counsels us so we can experience it and so when you apply that to marriage i think it's the same thing where where we mess up is where we carry all this baggage with us in the marriage of our tradition and how we were raised in our view of how this is

going to be really it's a new creation it's a new start you're taking another human being and you're saying, you know what, let's be one. Yeah. Well, it should be a new start. You should basically have almost like a baptism where you, you bury all your, because it says a man should leave his father and mother. Well, what if you don't leave?

What if you call them every other day giving them the reports on how the marriage is going and then getting their opinion on what you should do? Guess what? That marriage is not going to last. It doesn't work well. He said, leave your father and mother. There's a lot to that as in you are now a new creation. And so then when you factor in the Jesus roles that you both play,

you know, getting back to that Ephesians 5, there's a lot of service going on. There's a lot of humility going on. There's a lot of vulnerability going on. You know, there's a lot of crucifying how you were raised and the things that you noticed on how things should be. And I think that should be the pattern for how you view these texts. I mean, you're out serving each other, but you both have roles.

He designed us that way, and I think it's somehow another to relate to the triune nature of God and using, you know, his on who he is to make it work. It's a good deduction. That's exactly, we started, we started this, dad did at the beginning back in Genesis, the idea that that is, it's a, it's a birth. When two people come together, two become one, it is a birth of something new. And it does present a pattern. Yes.

On how this should work. That's right. Yeah. We're all the way to our relationship with the Lord. That's right. I mean, it's a marriage. Which is why that you hear these terms used by Paul mainly in the New Testament of the bribe the church being the bride of Christ and even Jesus talked about the bridegroom and

compared himself to that. So you hear these wedding terms. Remember all the parables he used about weddings and bridegrooms and, you know, all these. And then Jay's mentioned this in the last podcast, even the first miracle was at a wedding. It's the same concept and I did. Oh, look, I think the, when he said my time has not come in John too when. Yeah. I think because it the, the, I looked at the, I looked at the Greek on this. You know, it's the same word that, like, my hours not come, which is in reference to his death, and which is that mirroring image of a husband, you love your wife like Christ love the church and gave himself up for.

I mean, I think in this marriage banquet, it was a precursor to Jesus realizing that he would pour out his blood, which would Lord's Supper, symbolize. you know, the fruit of the vine or the wine. And so then you have these, he takes these ceremonial jars that were used for washing and cleansing. And he takes the water and turns it into wine, which he would, which would represent his blood, all in the purchasing of his bride, which is that why I said, our time has not come.

I just think there was way more to it, which is why I think it was a sign. It was almost like a miracle with a wink. Exactly. It was always like, hey, hey. That one day he... Since you asked me, Mom, let me do this, but let me wink because this is really what it's going to be all about. Well, when you think of it like that, it's very moving, looking at it from his perspective, looking at him. Because we don't think like that until you're, you know, engross for Jesus.

But he's sitting at a wedding thinking he's got to give his life. He became a human. This is God we're talking about. To purchase us? He's got to go through. all this human toil and struggle and weakness and then be killed. Become the ultimate sacrifice. Be killed by the mere other humans that he could just squash like a bug.

But then there's that word love again. And all of a sudden you start realizing that this sacrifice and this humility and this unselfishness, these are powerful things. Plus all those parables that he used, remember the thing he was trying to get across to the people, the Jewish people, was you don't want to miss the wedding. You don't want to miss this. Maybe he kept saying, be ready, you know, be ready with the oil, be ready with the candles, be ready with the, everything was like, you don't want to miss this because I'm here,

but when this happens, it's going to happen quick. And if you miss it, you miss it. And then so many of them, of course, did miss it, which was sad, you know. Yeah, exactly. And look, I'll confess my sins. Most of the problems that I had in the first five years of my marriage, it was because I brought an idea to the marriage on how it should be. I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't reading the word saying how I need to be God's man in this

situation and leave my family. I was thinking, all right, now here's where it's going to be. I was thinking, she's going to make the tea every day. She washes the clothes. I had, literally, I had these thoughts. I was like, we're going to have our roles here. What was I thinking? It's just, you're talking about immature.

And there really was no moment where, I mean, some of these things quickly went away because when you're thrust into this new creation, it is kind of shocking where you can't run, which I think is an important quality when that hits you. Like there's no more running. We're going to have to work out cohabitating with another human being based on a promise, not just, oh, let's try that. I promise to God in front of other people. And so one by one, all those things went away the agenda that I brought to the table. It would have been a lot easier if I would have just sacrificed them on the wedding day, which is what I wish someone would have told me. Whatever you think this is going to be like? It would have saved you a little pain. Yeah. Well, it saved me a lot of pain.

Yeah. So, well, I mean, that's why I don't know where on the marker it is. Well, I mean, look, probably a lot of the little stuff, people would view as little stuff, but it just would have been so much easier if, you know, it's hard to surrender. It's hard to be unselfish. When you read that 1st Corinthians 13, it seems beautiful from a distance. I'm on record. To live no record of wrongs and not being easily angered and, you know, always trusting and always protecting. These are, these are like huge problems. One of the things that I learned, and I've said this before, when God made a woman, he made a very strange creature.

A lot different than us. Oh, yeah. And that was on purpose. Well, you mentioned First Corinthians 13, Jason. I feel the same way about Philippians 2. There are several passages that were written to the church. First Corinthians, we know from our study of First Corinthians, was written. to try to help the Corinthian church who were suffering greatly and how they were treating one another.

But certainly it applies so powerfully inside a relationship, a marriage relationship. I feel the same way about Philippians too. Again, it was written to show you about Christ's sacrifice. But think about this if you apply this into marriage. If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, any comfort from his love, any fellowship with the spirit, tenderness and compassion. All these are Christ's qualities. In verse 2, then make my joy complete by being like-minded.

So the thing about this in a marriage. Having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. As you were mentioned earlier, all the things you think about, this is the way I think it has to be. But in humility, consider her, others, better than yourself. Each should not look to his own interests, but to the interest of her, others.

Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus. Then it describes what he did for us, which is what Peter does in Peter. So it's that same thing. It's a passage written to the church. But if you approach Christianity, if you're both believers, which of course Peter's context, that's not the case. But if you are, if I look at my wife and I say, I look at her first as my sister, in Christ, before I look at her as my wife, does that affect how I treat her as my wife?

Of course it does. Because then every passage in the Bible applies to her as my sister. See, if you read the text and just not get distracted by the controversy over what that means, and you put it in the context of here, you got to remember in this culture, women had no status. And look, it was unfair. you know, if they commit adultery, even under the Roman law, well, the husband could kill her on the spot.

But if he commits adultery, rock on. Rock on. Think about that. I mean, that's horrible. In the 1900s, early 1900s, I mean, that's, I mean, women in America could not vote until the 1920s or whatever it was. But what I was going to say is for Peter, for Peter to write this, this was ground-breaking stuff when he got to verse seven because he was like you have some responsibilities here and look just without getting all lathered up on what that means when you when you look at what he actually said all the other parts he

said be considerate as you live with your wives which does it seem like a profound statement but how many married couples live under the same house but don't live together a lot yeah i mean he's talking about you it's not like it's a compartment in your life which people do the same thing with Christ. You can have Christ in a room that you go check in or like insurance policy. But when you live with Jesus, literally live 24-7. Yeah, he's always- Well, there's a difference.

Well, when you live with your wife 24-7, you're one. It's a completely different thing. Then it says, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner. But he's saying, she's your partner. Well, you know, partner's a big word to me. I mean, we're partners in this. Look, and as heirs, which goes back to that Galatian Street. I mean, not only are we going to live together here as we're going to live together forever.

And she's not weeded out. She's woven in. Woven in with you of the gracious gift of life. And then it says so that nothing will hinder your prayers. You don't treat your wife right. And all of a sudden God says, your prayers may be hindered. I mean, I don't know of many other places in the Bible

where we bring up a consequence of, you know, of not being a good husband. But, I mean, God takes this as serious. So I just, whatever people have made this out to mean, it's way deeper, it's way more powerful, it's way more dynamic. And I do think it's a great light to the world. of having Jesus-centered marriages

where people are, you know, serving in their roles. No doubt about it. Gender roles are clearly defined. We embrace it. I mean, I was real, I mean, when my wife, you know, yesterday you point blank asked her, you know, how do you see this?

And she was like, I was, because she's never said that to me, but she was like, I rest in him leading our family. I thought, well, that was awesome. I mean, I, she. Who doesn't like here? hearing that. Well, right. I thought, great. But, you know, in the, our last 10 years of our marriage, you know, I've really focused on being unselfish, you know, forgiving, serving, finding ways for our family to focus on Jesus, you know, together. This is what I call leading. Because what

I realized is if you have to declare that you're leading, you're not leading. If you have to make an announcement. Yeah. No. You missed it. It's there or not. You have to announce it. She's leading. I'm just telling you right now.

Yeah. Which is unfortunate. It's like a car used to tell us, if you have to tell people you're a leader, you look around, no one's following, you're not a leader. Hey, guys, I'm a leader. Nope. Even your mother and my wife, when I'm giving a lesson and I said, you know, I used to be a heath. I always get, amen.

It's my wife that just said that. That's right. But it made the other wives feel better about it. And the reason that I did that yesterday, and again, not knowing, I asked for transparency. They all could have said we're terrible because I asked for truth. But the reason I did that is because I wanted our audience to know we got a lot of young men out there. And look, we understand what it's like to start, to struggle, to, You're trying to find yourself.

You're trying to find your way. Because I hear from a lot of you. So I know. I know what it's like. But you have to continue in the struggle and you have to continue to follow Christ's example. And you have to strive to be that man that God's called you to be. Because look, the bottom line is you've got to look in the mirror. What if I asked your wife if you're listening?

And what would she say? Would she say it's easy? Would she say she wants to submit to you? Would she say that she rest in your leadership? Or would she say it's a mighty struggle because you're not respectable. You're not doing what God's asked you do. So, I mean, these are hard questions. And all we can do is ask ourselves.

We're not perfect men as we sit around the table. I can promise you that. And everybody said that yesterday. But at the same time, you heard it. The people that live with us, all we can do is ask them. Because they see us more than anybody else. And they see the flaws. They see it all.

Well, that's why I kept going back to the Ephesians 5. You know, when he said, husbands love your wife, just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her to make her holy cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, which is why I brought up that John 2. You know, it's the same kind of image that we're, you know, we have this marriage to Christ because he says that in 32. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church.

However, each of you must also love his wife as he loves himself. because he makes that reference up there in the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. I mean, how much stronger could he come across? There's nothing demeaning here. There's no, he's not trying to get you to dominate in some kind of weird authority position where. So the result of this is you've got to spend a lot of time reading the Gospels to understand what it means to be a husband, a godly husband to your wife. Because Jesus is your pattern. I mean, he gave it here.

And so I think I've really put that into my repertoire. I mean, I spend more times in the Gospels than any other book because, you know, I'm spending, I'm married to my wife 24-7. So it's a constant way, I think, you know, when we talk about doing divos or your personal quiet time or I just think that. should be top priority as far as leading your family. That's our example. When Jesus told his disciples that he didn't come to rule but to serve,

remember when he told him that? And he's trying to tell them what kind of leaders that they were going to be. That's exactly the application, I think, that comes to being a husband, the kind of leadership he's talking about. When I was a young man, I thought my role was to rule. my household. But now I realize my purpose was always to serve my household, to serve my wife and children, to make sure they were the best they could possibly be. Did that make me the leader of my household? Sure. They respected me because of that. But I didn't realize that in the

moment. That only happened over time of consistent servitude, you know, because I was serving by being who I was supposed to be. And the more I was like Jesus, the more I served. So that's the way have to look at leadership. That's why the, look at the people that we respect the most, and most them are dead now, that we look back on with fondness who led us. They had serving hearts. Well, that was my point. Look, I guarantee if you, if you interview my kids and my wife, the most profound moments of our family over the last 30 years was always in a situation where I called everyone together and passionately, tearfully, strongly motivated that we become more like Christ in a presentation. Now, whatever the circumstances was is irrelevant because there were, you know, we've all made mistakes and things have happened, you know, just like any other family.

But I will guarantee you, because those moments usually ended in tears, you know, in the short term. Sometimes it made, you know, people mad because, you know, you're looking at yourself. And just like we all do it. You know, I didn't realize I was that flawed until I got married, until I got married and the same thing with your kids. And even the biblical wedding and marriage principles of that your first-party relationship under Christ is with your wife. So, and I told me all my kids that. and you know it was frustrating to them in those jesus moments but uh and i mean i'm kind of proud of that because i'm like but i couldn't have done that if i was not spending a lot of time

personally getting to know jesus i mean my answer was not what they thought i was going beyond the present circumstances is the point yeah it the lord led me to i i wasn't saying okay i need to lead that in the quote my that's thought never crossed my mind i just thought okay we have a problem i'm praying about it what should we do about it i'm studying the scriptures i'm looking at jesus and then it's like okay i think we need to get together we're we're going to have a family intervention here yep i've done it many times with my wife i mean i consider that loving as christ loved the church i'm like no look i'm not any better i have flaws i But I think this is what we need to do as a family moving forward.

And it's amazing how when you get in that context, emotions are running high, you get it all out, and then everyone goes to the same place of grace and hope. And that's what we find in Jesus, which is our ultimate new creation platform. But it is interesting that you, that last line of that, that nothing will hinder your prayers, because that is such a crucial dynamic in a relationship, in any relationship, is to have that communication line to the Almighty open when relationships do begin to break down. You've got to have that. I mean, prayer, you know, we recently had a couple, at least I did,

and, you know, they got some problems, and I wasn't sure. A lot of times someone have come and they'll lay out a situation, and it'll be pretty clear to me pretty quickly. you know, through the Holy Spirit, it's like, okay, all right, let's, let's immediately you'll have kind of a, let's talk about this and then let's pray about it. But in this case, I didn't have a clear thought. I said, I'll tell you what, I need to pray on this one a while. I mean, I don't have a clear, this is a unique situation.

Let me pray about it a while. And after a couple of days, you know, we had a game plan, but it took a while. We had to, like, wrestle with that for a bit. So sometimes, you know, some situations, you've got to wrestle with it. Well, I'll, I know we got to go to. overtime but one of the CS Lewis quotes in that movie was one of the reasons he didn't believe in God in an early age is because his mom got sick and he said I prayed and I finally prayed to God and he he didn't he didn't answer my prayer he said but later on I figured out that I just wanted a God

who was a magician not a savior and when he didn't do the magic I thought well I'm not following you. But I mean, it was just so simple as here's a young kid. Yep. This is terrible. Well, pray to, you know, help me. Because it, and he came to realize that, you know, there's a God and he's, he's not him. What does Zach call him the, uh, the cosmic bellhop? Yeah.

Where you call, you call the guy, get up here and get the, get these bags. I need your help. So when you feel frustrated that you're not having your prayers answered or, you know, God's not working for you. You might ought to look at. How you're treating your wife. That's right. Seriously.

That's right. Nobody thinks that. No. Well, the reason this is not working out is, well, you know, it's a profound state. You need some wrestle time. I'm pretty sure you're going to find some weakness as a husband in there. So maybe that's why some of the prayers are taking a little longer than anticipated. Rasselmania.

I like that. BlazTV.com slash Unashamed is where you go to find our overtime. So we'll continue this discussion on the other side. Thanks for listening to the Unashamed podcast. Help us out by rating us on iTunes. And don't miss an episode by subscribing on YouTube and be sure to click that little bell to get notified about new episodes. And for even more content that you won't get anywhere else,

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