Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 805 | John Crist Thinks He’s Being Kidnapped by Phil Robertson & Jase Uncovers an Amish TV Secret

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Phil seems confused about how to react to John Crist, comedian and host of the “Net Positive” podcast, when they sit down to talk about the intersection of humor and Christianity. The guys and John discuss the difficulties of making jokes in a Christian community and how comedy works in this day and age. John and Jase manage to crack each other up over people choosing poorly when it comes to biblical names and the reputation of the Robertson family in the Amish community.  — Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? Welcome back to Unashame. You got a house full of folks here today. We got a little studio audience. We got some viewers today. Why is we know? Why do we have a studio?

Well, because we got a guest coming on later, and everybody's excited about our guests. So that's why everybody's here. If it's just us, nobody. I've never met this. If it's just us, it's this. Yeah. Speaking of that,

Has anyone seen him? That is the M-I-A. He's in parts unknown. He could be out west. That was the word I heard from the, on the street. Maybe our treasure hunting show inspired him to go look for treasured. So that there's a, this is our new button, which we introduced last time. It takes two.

That's breaking news. And so there was breaking news because your Christmas special has finally aired this week. It's been well received. People are loving it. They are. It's amazing when you focus on Jesus, good things happen. So, you know, we had this cliffhanger that I left, and now the people that have watched this have now realized

that my lovely wife, with the aid of Jessica, pulled it off. They went in, Phil. Here was the plan. Because you got to remember, when you make these shows, they're like, well, y'all do Christmas. And they're like, what are some of your Christmas traditions? And I said, well, one of the things that we do is we eat,

we have like a Louisiana Christmas with seafood. Which we've almost outgrown now because we've got so many people to feed. And especially Willie's wing, they eat so much. I don't know that we can cook enough shrimp to supply our family now. This is turned into quite the operator. Dad, I mean, you're going to break your back again if you stand there trying to fry shrimp for this particular group of people. It can be done, but it'd take a while. So I told the TV people, because I was in that weird world of, you know, because our show is unscripted.

We just do what we do. But I said, look, if you can talk my wife into trying some famous dish that my mom has cooked, where she's going to cook it, that'd be awesome because she's not going to want to do it but if it turns out bad that that is the show I'm not I'm not saying oh babe this is great if it's terrible if it's terrible it's terrible because you know because of the code

well right the TV people though they want a warm fuzzy happy ending but guess what sometimes in life the food that you prepared was a bust and our cut the Robertson code that we were taught by you, Dad, was never compliment bad cooking or you'll eat it the rest of your life. You weren't taught that. We were brainwashed. It was a code. It was, and we still live back. Just like you don't tell another rival some what to do. That was the unspoken code. You got to remember the first two years of our marriage, I was trying to figure

out how I was going to get as good as my parents in cooking, because I pretty much disqualified Missy from being a part of this. I mean, I was like, this is not going to work. And so, you know, I had the, it was bumpy, is an understatement. And I've told the famous story, you know, three or four days into the marriage, if you hadn't heard it. She calls my mom, and she's like, how long do I boil this egg before it gets soft? Because I'm a couple hours into this, and it's just as hard as it was when I put it, it in the pan.

This is where we started. And she reminded me of that, and I said, ignorance is a dangerous thing. My mom said, baby, that it has a shell on it. It's ready. It's been ready. You've got to take that shell off if you want to get, anyway.

But I will say that in the last 30-some-odd years, my wife, she has become a great cook, not just a good cook. She is fantastic. Yep. And even though, you know, I had to repent because I didn't believe in her. I mean, I just thought, no way, not going to happen. So she did it. Her and Jessica, no trick photography, you know, they just, now they did call Ms. Kay and get,

because, you know, Ms. Kay's recipes, she has a lot of wiggle room in that. I mean, because her memory is not what it once was. And so there were a couple of additions that they, because it didn't look right at first. But I'll have to admit, it was as fine, if not better than any crawfish pie I've ever eaten in my life. And they cooked two of them. And in real time, we ate every, every crumb of those two crawfish pies, which should have told you. Well, the episode is making me feel better because Jessica and Jep are actually hosting Christmas this year. And so I was a little worried about it.

And I was going to see how this all turned out to see what my Christmas plans were. With any cooking skill, it's like you have to have validation. Yep. So they pulled it off once. It might have been a Christmas miracle. But I will have to admit it was the tension was there. It was present because she knew. She's like, if this is a bust, it's going to be on national TV.

And it all came from just, you know, the time, Phil made a point that he, in his opinion, Kay had ruined Christmas by cooking the shrimp too long, which happened 25 years ago. But it's kind of a story that lived down. Remember when the shrimp kind of, they came out all in a big... For you listening, Phil's winking.

He's wickets. We just chasota, we just shoveled off that group of individuals on frying shrimp. that y'all are officially forevermore done on that somebody else will take over so yeah we got past it we got past it so it was a happy ending uh you know christmas was safe you're coming next willie and chip yep yeah they found women and married them you know you make it sound like we're just kind of wandering around we found what i'm saying is just kind of wandering around we found what i'm saying is as we started with, you know, four individuals, five individual, one I didn't know about.

Yes, you've got us. Well, Jelp was actually a surprise, too. Yeah. Last I heard, I mean, that, you're, there was going to be no more babies. I mean, y'all didn't go into the details. See, the Ken folks now, the close Ken are at least 50. Well, you know, 50. It's more like 60.

Well, 50 to 60. Yeah. So you got that. But that's, you just say it real quick. but that's a lot of food. It's a lot of foods. A lot of mouths to feed, your kingdom has expanded.

One of these, they told me this morning, somebody did. I think it was you. Some of the Kentucky fried chicken, then you got this fried chicken, that fried chicken, well, they now are turning about $50 billion a year. Oh, no, I was talking about chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A. Yeah, Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A. Kentucky-Fri-Fri-A. I'm not sure about Kentucky-fried chicken, but Chick-fil-A is into billions, yes, multi-billions of, but that's Jesus' chicken.

That's a lot of chicken. I mean, that's, that's sanctioned by the Lord himself, so that's why. I love it. I mean, every speech. We eat it before every podcast. Every speech I give,

because these people talking about millions of years, ice ages, meteorites, and, you know, there were dinosaurs running all around, and then you look up after all that, and you're on your porch. And there's the chicken. He made it.

Made it through the whole thing. You tell me there's not a gun. How'd the chicken make it? Everything's after him. They're eating them by the millions. How did he make it? And all the things you can do when they dropped one out. An egg?

Their rear end. So that's what you call an egg. It had some parts. Egg yolk, egg white, shell. I mean, the chicken is a, he's a delicious. light for yon thing thank you for the visual graphic illustration

well the thing about the first guy that ate the egg what was he think because I mean the thing came out of the chicken's butt and you're thinking you know that may be good and somebody somebody went in somebody dove in oh I could say times were hard you reckon we can eat that

you could say that about a lot of things in Louisiana I mean, that's how the gumbo was established. Well, that's right. The slum go in, Dan. You don't say what's in the gumbo. What's not in it? I think I've eaten a gumbo with everything you can possibly imagine in it.

Yeah. You put enough garlic in any... The cages are ready. Put enough garlic in anything is good. All right, so I'm super excited. We've got a guest here today, and we're about to bring him on. And that's why we have a studio audience. And he's a comedian.

He's a comedian. He's a humorist. And so we're going to get a show. his thoughts on life and everything going on in his world. So we're going to take a break. And we come back. I'll introduce her guest. So welcome back to Unashame. We have a very special guest. John Chris is on with us. Welcome, John. The only guy without a Bible. Can you at least give me something up from up there? I just, I got nothing. A lot of them come and don't have it. There's what they leave with him. All right. Phil's got a plan. He's got a plan. We do this on purpose.

Let him out without a Bible. We'll convince him by the end. So that's what Phyllis came today because when she heard you were coming. She's a huge fan, my sister. And so she said, could I sit there? And I'm like, well, sure. So she's never been here before. Oh, no.

That doesn't make y'all feel good. She doesn't come at all unless someone here is already. I know myself with you and they, you showing up. I don't have one of the little black boxes y'all care. Oh, yeah. It's called a phone, little black box. sell free zone. Yeah.

It takes a while for me to get to know you. He's actually leading a movement to try to get back the landline. I can get on board with that. Yeah, he's back to the landline. We still don't know if the internet's going to catch on. I mean, it's not. It's popular, but let's... Some of the stuff I hear that dribbles down to me,

I hear what people are saying they're going to do or what they are doing. And some of that stuff, I'm like, I don't think so. No. Well, my family is like, my extended family is Amish. Oh, okay. So they don't have anything. Oh, that's true. And whenever we go around them for like family Christmas and stuff, we're like, look, we're happier than them because we got all the stuff.

But they're all depressed and we got all the stuff. They're winning. That's right. If you look at the end of the day. Yeah. Well, that's kind of like that's like that. I mean, like, and what was ironic, John, is that dad, so after the show ends, the first person who gets a new show, and it's a digital show plays, is dad in the woods with Phil. And so the very guy who's like black box, I don't know what it is.

It's like he's out there with the new show. Well, that's interesting about the Amish. You know, I did an event a couple years ago, and I think y'all went. Yeah, we did it this last year. So, so. The greatest people I've ever met. You'll appreciate this. How did you say I did an event a couple years and y'all went and they both knew exactly what you were talking about.

What do you mean you had an event a couple years ago? And they're like, oh, yeah. The Amish. Describe nothing of it. And they go, oh, yeah. Because this was a redneck mine. That's how it word. We're like a hive mind. Oh, yeah. Because when you do an event for about 1,500 Amish people, it stands out in your mind. Oh, you remember. And he rode in on a John Deere tractor. I rode in on a John Deer tractor. That's like me coming in here without a Bible. You're writing into an Amish event on a tractor. That's what happened.

That's what out of here. And so I get, well, when they introduced me, because it was, you know, primitive. Like you see, these are primitive people. Well, they all clapped. And it hit me in that moment because I wasn't sure what I was going to say. So I just said this. I said, so the fact that everyone clapped, because they introduced me as Jace Robertson, a star of Duck Dynasty.

And I said, the fact that everybody clap means this idea of we don't have TVs, somebody's lying. Someone's not telling the truth. And look, they all laughed. They did? Yes. And so I later found out that. So y'all know who, yeah. Yeah, I later found out that during our show, they would rent hotel rooms and go in and have watch parties.

Yeah. In the hotel room. And so, you know, people cried. They were confronted. I don't know how it all worked out. I left. It was chaos. I would say on the scale of people renting hotel rooms,

that's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done. That's what I thought of the same thing? I snuck away. I didn't tell me. I didn't tell my parents. I snuck away rented a hotel and they busted in. He was watching. That's like an episode of a show.

This is good. It's a secretive. He's checking into the hotel with a mustache and glasses on. I can't let anybody know. Yeah. So let me back. because I've already embarrassed myself because they said we had a guest on and they sent me a video and when I watched it, it was not you.

So I was prepared to talk to someone else because I thought, man, you've shaved. So I met it. What was his name? That was Jared. But here's the funny thing. So I sent, Jay's, I sent an email that said this guy and his email was there said he wanted to come back on our podcast. Yeah. So I said, I don't remember it.

anybody remember this guy because I don't remember him being on the podcast. That was the question. And then somebody else in a video, Maddie, Jace watches the video. Well, somehow he thinks that's our guest today. I don't know how he made that. That's how he's. It's Blondie's fault. It's a sign that we've done too many podcasts. Well, I should say this is the only podcast I've ever done that no one on the podcast requested me to be on it. Nor did you know I was on it. Yeah. You just had to show up. I'm going on a podcast. I'm introducing myself. Hey, guys. How you do?

My name is John. Nice to meet. This must be done by the PR people. They were going, he's Christian, y'all are Christian. I was in Baton Rouge last night. They go, let's. That's what happened all together. So I saw you and you didn't look like Jared.

And I thought, well, so in that moment, because I thought, man, he's really shaved because the guy, Jared, he had a beard that was four foot long. Yeah. Oh. And so I didn't want to say. He's a pastor from Indiana. That's what Jay said, yeah, our guest today's from Indiana. I said, no, he's from Georgia.

Oh, yeah. It was, so it was like an abac. So that's what happened. So I didn't want to say, oh, you cut your beard, because in our parts, that's kind of a something you shouldn't say, because it's kind of a premeditated thing that's frowned upon. Cutting your beard? So I noticed your hair, and I asked you, I was like, how'd you get your hair to do that? And then I remember that it's a 40-minute trek down here. And I thought, you must have had your head outside the window.

Check out. Yeah, outside the window all the way down here. Well, because I rode on a horse and buggy, so we don't really have windows. He went back to his homage. Back to my roots. Tell them what you did see coming out here. Well, I was like, okay, because we passed the, I mean, I'm staying in West Monroe or Monroe, which one am I staying in?

You're in West Monroe. Okay, so we passed the Duck Dynasty store. Well, it's technically Duck Commander. I go, oh, there we are. And they go, she goes, no, we're still going. Because I saw in my it took like 40 minutes to get there. I go, well, this is the middle of nowhere. It's more middle of nowhere than this.

At what point did you think this was some kind of weird kidnapping? About 30 minutes in. And then we start to see it. And then it's no one's around for a while. And then we're just riding in the car together. And I see up ahead, it's like, I couldn't tell what it was. there was a, it was, it seemed like it's seen from the shining. And there was three guys standing out, like, beside the truck.

And I go, oh, this is how it ends. Yeah. This is how it ends for me. Yeah. Middle, no one, there's no witnesses, by the way. They could be around for this crime. And we get closer. And it's three inmates.

Yeah. Standing beside a truck smoking cigarettes. And what was most alarming to me is no, she wasn't like, This is concerning. She's like, oh, this is regular. I go, if one of them would have walked in the middle of the street, stopped us, it's over. Yeah.

Because there's nothing to do. Now we're on the episode of First 48. Like, when did they see him last? So you know, is the guys picking up the trash? Well, because people come out to these parts to dump their trash because there's no one here. Okay. So then. They let them out of their sales and take them to the country.

Well, so the government said there's people going out to where. they think no one lives out here because you have to keep going as you see and then all of a sudden civilization pops up phil started that yeah so then they think well let's send the inmates to go clean it up because they can't escape because there's nowhere to go yeah you see him run away for three days that's basically how this worked yeah he's not going anywhere you should have you should have known by all the signs that you passed that has multiple bullet holes i did see a lot of that and some truck well I feel like it's one of those streets that if someone a car that they haven't seen drives down there's some you know like in training day there's some like when you when the cops

come there's like there's clapping and everybody kind of that's kind of like code I feel like there's that there's a guy that's a let's take a look right there's a guy that lives down here that you passed his empire is kind of like a Sanford inside it's kind of a redneck Sanford inside an empire in quotes it empire yeah and uh he his He told dad that his goal in life was to be, because he has a travel trailer that he has there next to his house, that he can get out with one phone call from up the street or up the road, he can be out of here in 20 minutes. Everything he owns, gone. So that's his getaway plan is a 20-minute.

Isn't that what he told you, Dad? Yep, pretty well. 20 minutes. 20-minute plan. What kind of stuff is he grabbing? I think whatever he's sleeping on. That's it. he's not a thief he just borrows a lot of stuff

he just take him back he's just permanently borrows a lot of stuff a lot of dad's stuff is there so that's yeah that's I had to get my chains up i tell you what though that fellow like that a lot of people mistake them as far as fixing things the other day commode it wouldn't stop flowing water I got I said call a plumber He said, call old Red up. He calls Red.

Red commode. We got a commode that flush won't work. He said, Phil said, can you fix it? 20 bucks. He said, I'll be there at a minute. 20 bucks. So he pulls up. He fixes it in about 10 minutes.

$20 change at hand. It's a great way to live, man. Well, Phil, you got a deal on that. That's a pretty good deal. Because you can add a zero if you do that uptown. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he's not paying taxes. something. I don't think that's being reported.

I think the company has no idea where this guy is. That's exactly what I think. Well, between, I've learned about a blondeie and a red and an Italian, so there's a lot going on. That's my dad. He doesn't like to call people by their name. So who knows what he's going to come up for you?

So if our artist hasn't figured it out, if you didn't already know, John, he's a comedian. And I was saying by saying Christian comedian, but you're just a comedian who happens to be a Christian, right? Yeah. Are you guys Christian duck callers? I mean, or you just said duck callers a Christian.

Exactly. That's why, I mean, which came first, right? We talked about the chicken and the egg earlier. Well, the chicken came first, Al. I mean, God created the animals. Okay.

So you're saying that's... I solved that riddle for you. This no more. I guess if I was a comedian first or a Christian first, I mean, I got to say when I was nine, but I was probably doing funny stuff before that. Well, so that's my question. You got a large...

I never thought about that. You're a southerner. You're from Georgia. Oh, yeah. You got a big family. We know now there's some Amish in there as well. So how did you get into the comedy world? My dad was a preacher.

It's a Pentecostal preacher. It's all coming to get Pentecostal preach. So there's all your material. Oh, I've been saying you got some material. I have spoken at Pentecostal churches and I really like the energy because, you know, I'm an energy guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, there are a lot of clapping, chanting. hollering.

Oh, yeah. Running around. Ever spoke at a Catholic church? I think I have. Yeah? Yeah. I think I've hit them all. It was a little more docile.

Oh, calm. Yeah, you're a little different. Yeah. Pat Costa. Well, that give you, when you fall over when the Holy Spirit, they'll put a blanket on you. Really? Yeah, you didn't know that?

I didn't know that. Now when they pray for you and you fall over, then you're in the slain in the spirit and they throw a blanket over you. Huh. Yeah. Well, the group I was with. They started talking about marching around a building seven times,

and I remember that story. Oh, yeah. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to make a run for it in between. I don't know if the actual building. They were fixing to go. Oh, for real. This is that a Jericho story?

No, they were going to march around the church building seven times. So hopefully it falls over? They didn't say that. I just, after I spoke, that was the most. Then they were going to march. They were really going to march. Maybe they were just doing a drama, a reenactment. Wow.

But I thought, well, if didn't the building fall in? Yeah, that was what they were, yeah. I saw somebody that named their son Jericho. I go, well, that's not, that story didn't end well for Jericho. That's true. It's like Jezebel, right? There's certain names you don't really want. Like, it's a Bible name.

It's like, yeah, well, it's not one of the good ones. Call him Jerry and call it a day. Jerry. It's short for Jericho. That's pretty good. So you grew up in this, were you like the funny kid in your family or did it? Well, sometimes preacher families, I mean, that can be a little bit obtuse. Yeah, uptoos. It's a good word, obtuse. Yeah. Yeah, the preacher, I feel like when you see, when you listen to the sermons and then, but you also know the preacher, you kind of, you see the other side of it, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. So if you, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah. So if you're a big. Duck Dynasty fan, you're like, oh, I love this. And then you meet you guys. You're like, oh, these guys are crazy, like on the inside. Yeah. I'm just joking. Yeah, we have a lot of similarities here. Yeah, same type thing. Well, right. That's why I spoke at an African-American church. Yeah. You know, they were amen, hallelujah. And then, but a lot of the things they were saying was well. Yeah. And I didn't, I didn't know what that meant. So when I asked about it, they said, well, that means that he's, he's not agreeing with you. Oh, really? Yeah. So, and he wants, and he wants to catch you on the way out and give you a different version.

Well, yeah. Oh, wow. I thought, I really liked that. Oh, yeah. I wish we could get that for all Americans. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when he's speaking.

Somebody's out there doing a press conference and you're like, well, not really. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So by notice from watching a lot of your stuff, John, that one is your self-deprecating, which I like. I mean, like you're willing to make fun of yourself and your family and all that, we're the same way. But you're also, you kind of, I feel like the, the, the funny, some of the funniest bits

I watched you do were pointing out the absurd. And, but you're really good at that. And even just your facial experience, somebody you don't have to say anything. Right, exactly, that look right there. That's the one. Yeah. So, like, yeah, it, like we were at, I always tell a story about my sister, so they don't do, you guys, I don't know what side you guys are going to be on this, but everybody now is

with the gentle parenting. We don't, you know, we don't hit our children. We're encouraging them. These kids are out of control. Right, yeah. Out of control. Yeah. So I said, we're at Chili's after church.

My nephew's on the ground screaming. No one's, please, we'll do anything. Like, what's your safe word? Tell us three encouraging things. Take a deep breath. They're calling their therapist. What should we do? One of my sisters is rubbing crystals together.

We'll try this way. Yeah. And I'm like, we got to start. these kids. Yes, everybody, if you're in that restaurant, everybody's looking at this and no one can, that's the beauty of comedy in 2023, is no one can say it out loud,

but everyone is thinking it. That's right. Everybody is, you're like, oh, whether it's about all these things in the culture that everybody has to go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but there we goes, no. Everybody knows the truth.

So there's the line of, should I be laughing at this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think everybody thinks that. Exactly. They were like, you know, you go to a fast food restaurant and you order and they're like, do you care about children? And you're like, yes. And they're like, would you like to donate a dollar to help children?

You're like, nah. On the inside. Yeah. How do you say no, right? Yeah, you can't set me up like that. He's turning, I don't like that he's turning into the Bible right now. After he's heard what he said, he goes, my God. I think he needs to hear this.

Confirm it. Yeah, yeah. I go into a joke. He starts flipping in his Bible. He'll have a purse for you. It's terrifying. I'm not saying anything just. I think his point is, though, now, I mean,

America's gotten so sensitive that even just secular comedians, they can't talk about anything. There's no, you can't make a joke because somebody's got to your feelings hurt. I mean, that's really what you're pointing out is the absurdity. Well, people say, it must be tough to be a comedian like in 2023 and I've said the opposite because comedy by nature of it you have to cross the line yeah say something you can't normally say that's what makes it funny yeah and the line has been so pulled back you can even say something like that kid don't have a peanut allergy and that's like wildly inflammatory right which back in the 90s you had to say something so absurd wild that would be across the line now the line is drawn right here so all you have to do is like inch over it and it's like makes it I think makes a comedy much easier. I think you're exactly. I never thought about that much you're right which is why the old guys

had to be so work so blue and you had the crazy stuff yeah because you had to kind of put that shocking stuff out there but you're right everything else. I say nothing yeah well think about I said last night this is the only time in history where probably not the employees of this place but you work anywhere and you say something on Twitter you could get fired Yeah. Because somebody could say, I don't feel comfortable or, or, and then you could, somebody would call your boss and you could say something privately, personally, that could take away your livelihood.

And that's never happened as long as, since I've been alive. That's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So then everybody feels like they can't say nothing. So then the comedy shows packed. Yeah. Because we all will say it.

Well, right. So you feel, that's why people would laugh at you when you'd be very graphic. Like, because I've heard Phil. say from the pulpit, hey, tear their butt up, you know, talking about kids. Well, everybody would uncomfortably laugh. Because they were like, I can't believe he said that. Right. Phil wasn't laughing. He wasn't joking. He's like, I'm dead serious. Yeah, he was dead serious. He wouldn't even understand why people are laughing because, yeah, yeah. Which is my biggest problem. Every time I, you know, I give a lot of speeches, do a lot of events. Yeah.

But what I've noticed, I've shared this before, if I try to be funny, Nobody laughs. Yeah. But then I'll say something and everybody will bust out laughing. And then I'm having to retrace what I just said. Why was that funny? Yeah. Because I was not kidding.

I'm dead serious. I always thought that dad on the show, when I watched the show, I mean, obviously being a part of the family, but the first three years I watched the show, I wasn't on the show. But I laughed more at stuff dad did because, like, it was a humorous show. It was a funny show. Yeah. But like a lot of people were trying to be funny.

were, but dad really was just being himself. And, but I would laugh at that because it seems so weird the way he would explain things. Same thing was, but when you, when you take a crawfish. Oh, which was a famous scene. It's a classic scene. And they thought, what Hollywood writer wrote this? It's like, no way. Well, no, nobody wrote it.

He explained sex, sex education with a crawfish. Oh, yeah. My son and my nephew. Right. Yeah, using the crawfish. And he was using terms. that you probably, you know, wouldn't use on a TV challenge.

But I fell out and fell out and before laughing because it was so funny, but he was just being himself. But the bottom line is, if you look at it, people that can laugh at their mistakes or their miscues and all this, sin, death, forgiveness. If you look at all that,

the whole bunch this one this one that one everybody's still married to the woman they married so you say things are the children are behaving it worked pretty good

you know what I'm saying discipline yeah there's a big disson you know you boys don't want to be doing that you know if you break a boat paddle by killing a possum oh here we go yeah you have to pay because you broke the boat boat handle

You got the coon, you got the cotton mouth, but you don't beat the animals with a boat paddle because you need those boat battles. Now, the end, you know, things people have to deal with all the time. Is that in here? Now we're talking. Because where, what happened was. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship and the breaking of bread. You say, different translation. This is going to break out some new material because Phil did.

I did a few things questionable in his parenting skills, especially right in that time period of going from one of the worst humans to one of the best via the Holy Spirit. We made a movie about it. It was bumpy. Yeah. And so I rebelled against one. Now, he had only about three or four rules. And the top two were awesome, you know, it's don't disrespect your mom. You know, you got a butt-whooping.

Three legs. No bloodshed in your fights among the brothers. No bloodshed. No bloodshed. So if he came in, if you had a little scrap, no bloodshed, okay. But then he had this one that if you tear up equipment. Perfectly good equipment. He gave an embellished version of that story just then where he's like, you know, you broke a boat paddle over an animal.

No, there was a cotton mouth fixing to bite me and take my life. I would not be here. I grabbed the thing that was closest to me, which was a boat paddle made in China. That's a key part of this. Can you tell this has been discussed? Not well made. Yeah, not well. Oh, yeah.

I kill the cotton mouth. We should have a party now because I could have died, but now I have lived. Part of the cost of that was breaking the boat paddle that was made in China. Yeah. So I got my butt tore up. How old were you? I was what, eight or ten? Yeah, it was during the bumpy years.

Oh, yeah. Eight or ten years old. and I thought we were going to have a party, and I told the story, and I got three licks on the buttocks for that. For breaking that paddle, because you don't break, because back then,

you know, we didn't have a lot of money. That was part of our commercial fishing operation. Yeah, if you don't have the paddle, you got nothing. So then feels like, you would rather have the paddle

than you alive. Is that the message you got? Exactly. So you heard his response was like, yeah, but you weren't, you turned out great. Yeah.

You're like, whoa, I must have been a therapist for this family. You're just like to. We've had an intervention. We laugh about it now. It's humorous. All right. So I've got to ask you this question.

So we had a show like early on we were doing kind of crazy stuff. We were obviously, we were people in the faith community. Yeah. Yeah, it was our biggest audience. We probably got more grief from our Christian friends than the other said. So do you get that too? Or how does that work? Because I just was curious just watching your stuff, and I'm thinking, I bet some people are probably not amused.

We call it the friendly fire. Exactly. If you go into battle, you expect to be attacked from the other side, not from your own people. Right. Yeah. And there's a lot of, yeah, I mean, we have this show called the first-time visitor, and we can just go visit all churches. Every time we're in a new city, we'd go to one, just Pentecostal. We went to a black church,

who went to a Latino church, we went to a cowboy church, because I was raised in one. And then I was like, well, I want to see what all the other, I don't even know what they do in there. Yeah. And on the way down here, from my hotel to here, we probably passed 40.

Oh yeah. 40 at least, right? And so why did those start? Somebody in there goes, well, I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like that they're making casseroles or that Cheryl can wear jeans now and not a skirt.

So we're going next door. That's right. They go next door a couple years and somebody goes, well, we want to start having a drum set in here and they won't let us. So we're going next door, right? And then I think that,

I've said this all the time, I think of the local church is our only hope. For this country, I don't want to get to, but I think the local church is our own, but we're so, the ones we pass, hate the other ones. Because for some reason that's probably superficial. Yep.

So, you know, my jokes. We seriously take them seriously. We love them all. Yeah, yeah, we joke about us. I feel the same way. Yeah. The biggest life-changing moment for me is when we did become famous. And since we weren't narrowed down to a specific group.

Yeah. But we were in a cultural, secular setting. Yeah. They just, everybody. claimed us. Yeah. Which is why when you asked me, have you been a Catholic church?

Yep. Everybody claims it. It's like. The Amish claimed you. Amish claimed, which is why I went. I thought, this is cool.

And we had a fantastic time. What do they pay you in livestock? You know, we talked about that because I, what I said. They paid us some cheese. I actually asked for one of those tractors. They had these old tractors.

I was like, can we just not pay me, give me one of these tractors? And he's like, we're not giving you one of those tractors. we'll give you a little money. They called it a love offering and you can go buy your own tractor.

It was fun. Because I was kidding, but they weren't. There was where the humor was. So everybody adopted. I feel like that's the same because we do, like there's a lot of like, I mean, there's everybody in the show. And Brian Regan talks about that a lot.

He goes, he goes, I did three weeks in Salt Lake City. He goes, the Mormons, they love me. He goes, I never said I was Mormon or anything, but values-wise, they kind of line up. And he's like, I've been out there. Well, what I just concluded is that there's way more in common in these churches than what we have different. And the bottom line is we kind of focus on Jesus.

And, you know, people, they, I mean, there's a reason why Jesus is who he is. I mean, everything about it is good. So it's been pretty amazing to learn that. So I kind of convicted myself. too, but also thinking that, oh, you know, they're different from me and something. I mean, the Amish have a, they don't, if you're, I'm trying to give this right, if you're single or if you're married, they cut the, like the A. Blinken beard, and if you have a mustache, that means you're married, or that might mean you're single, and then when you cut it off,

that means you're married. So even, you'd be, this mustache was not going to work. According to the Amish, you're not going to heaven with it. But nobody said a word. where I was up there. I realized that all the different looks, and I was making a few jokes on the way up there. I was like, it's like a starter beard. You got the psychiatrist look, you know.

I didn't realize this means something to them until somebody finally took me to the side and said, quit making fun of their beers. They don't like that. That's a symbol of which group they're with. Well, in the, like the Pentecostal community, and a lot of them come to my shows, is they don't, the women don't cut their hair ever,

and don't wear any makeup. So I could recognize if I was out, I would, that's a Pentecostal, and same with the Amish. Some of them have a dress or look that is very synonymous with their, I would say religion, but with their denomination.

Right. Which is, if you're going to commit to doing that, you have to, like, every, all of them have their own unique kind of appearance. You wouldn't want to say, well, what? You're running late, but I'm going to. glad you made it.

Would that be too far? Yeah, well, we do it, we do a portion in our show. I go, raise your hand if you started off one denomination and you are now a different denomination and you have half the audience raised their hand. Yeah. Wow. And then I go, which would you start? And they go, we started Catholic.

And I go, what are you now? Like, now we're Methodist or we started Presbyterian and now we're Church of Christ. And then you probably have some people that were the opposite. Yeah, yeah, started out Methodist and now you're Baptist. I go, you went backwards. But it's all, I mean, I feel like everybody's, if you, it's similar to you guys, that you go, well, if he, quote, let's say, oversteps the bounds of their religious practice that they would know, they're like, well, we know y'all's heart, right?

They're like, well, I know they're good guys and I know they're, they want what's best. and if they have messed up or gone astray that they're not proud of that or something. Think of the best of y'all. Yeah. It's kind of like, you're right. And I thought the same thing. We're very similar in what we do because like this setting that we do is sort of outside of a church, any particular church group. Yeah.

But we do Bible study here. So obviously we're talking about the Bible. But then we also do humor and jokes. And it's kind of like you. It's almost you ascend above a particular thing. then you can talk about everything. Do whatever you want. That's exactly right.

Well, there's a reason I'm wearing this shirt that says I could be wrong. So in our last few minutes, John, I wanted to, you like us, have been very open about struggles. Sure, absolutely. Which we've done the same thing. Like, when we got out there, I think most time people are in the public eye, when you're talking about from a, you know, I guess from a worldly perspective, it's like the last thing you want people to know. your flaws and your mistakes. Absolutely. And so that's why everything's so secretive in TMZ as in business to expose those flaws.

But like us, you've been open about it. I mean, how has that been in terms of response to people to you personally? Have you seen more grace? Have you seen more judgment? Oh, man. I mean, everything I've been through in my own personal life, I've told, I was I telling this the other day? In my kind of darkest days, you know, I've been, I'm, you know,

November 6th of this year, I just celebrated four years sober, which is a miracle, man. And I'd say a lot of times, like, publicly, you know, people on Twitter, the same with you guys, probably experience the same, just crushing you publicly. But privately, I say to a lot of people, it's like the, whatever you want to call them, the body of Christ or the community believers, has led mostly by my family, has kept me on earth. Yeah. For sure. For sure.

Absolutely. Publicly, you get on the internet, you could search all kind of horrific things about everyone's sitting here. Yeah. And then privately, people never felt more care and more love when I was at my darkest. And that's the shame about the Christian community that a lot of people think, oh, man, like, friendly fire. Like you said, the Christian community has turned on you or the, I was like, I mean, maybe publicly, but privately. Yeah. The farthest, that's the farthest from the truth.

And I wish other, there's a lot of people that have been, you know, you come in church your whole life and then you get divorced and they kind of kick you to the curb or you, you know, there's a lot. You get drinking alcohol and they say you can't. There's a lot of people that have been. Yeah, that's a bummer because I felt, I felt the opposite. And it's, it's insecure on our part that we, you know, someone gets divorced and, like, Like I was, I was told the story when I was a kid, you know, we grew up very legalistic and this girl in our, we were like, you know, no sex till marriage and, you know,

anything sexual was wrong outside of, and this girl, I remember, I mean, I was probably 16 in our church got pregnant and I stopped being friends with her because I didn't wanna be seen with her. Yeah. Because she was, because of the way this church was set up, made a mistake, she was not married, and it was evident. And I probably, a couple years ago, I found her on Facebook, and I just want to say that,

I'm so sorry for that. You know? Yeah. Because that, but that was the best that I knew based on what I had learned about my, now my faith is obviously much stronger than that that being seen with someone, it was not our indictment on me. But, you know, it's funny because this podcast is called Un-Eyer. ashamed. And so it's typically thought of, yeah, we're not ashamed of our faith. We're going to be

bow. We're going to be strong. But, you know, not being ashamed is taking away shame. Which is what Jesus does. And you're right. I mean, I think it's sometimes easy for people to get in the shaming business when Jesus says, man, I'm not ashamed to call you my brother and my sister, my family, my true family, which is part of it. But that, I just, that was one of the things observed about you which I appreciate. Yeah, well, it's like the, you probably haven't seen it, but you ever seen the movie 8 Mile?

I have not. I have in the woods. It's about, yeah, it's about, it's like a rapper. And then, you know, you rap, talk about the other guy and trash him for all his secrets. And in the last scene of the movie, he goes first and he tells all of his. Yeah.

He speaks, and then the other guy has no ammunition. So he goes, I'm going to get him on this. I'm going to get him on this. And then he does his rap first. And he's exposed. He goes,

I am this, I am this, I am this, I am this. And then the other guy goes, nothing to say. Right. And that's, I think, a lot of it,

if you're like, dude, no one, any Christian or any, anybody that there was a girl actually in our show on, let's see, Thursday, we were in San Antonio,

Texas, the girl got, Are we in Austin, Texas? Girl got kicked out because she was drinking too much. She was carrying on and making a huge scene in the show. And everybody's like, you know,

she got kicked out and the cops were there and it was all. And I go, hey, we're not here to shame her or look down upon her and think we're better than her. I'm sober, but a day at a time. I'm one decision away from, and I think anybody that has a past

or has made a bunch of horrific choices, is not looking down on anybody. They came and looked at some horrific things, and my family members, sons, daughters, said, Dad, we ought to make a movie before you repented and turned to God. When you were at your worst, I said, let me think on that one a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I thought on it. I said, go for it.

Yeah. So they, and by the way, it went ballistic. Of course it did. And the reason why is because people find hope in that. And the stories now we get back from life change. It's the same thing you did. We always, I never connected to the eight mile, but I love that because what we said was, if you just tell your stuff, it keeps the evil one from springing the trap on you.

Yeah. Because you're already out there. And you're willing to admit that. Yeah. Well, we're out of time. Man, that went fast. which meant it was good, John. And every head bowed and every eye closed.

Is that worth this answer or not? That's how we're going to close. Appreciate having you on the podcast. You're about to go and do the duck call room. Jason, any last second advice for him? As chaotic as this was, you might order to figure out a way to buckle yourself in the seat. So there's no Bibles over there?

No Bible. Well, I think that it was a guilty conscience at the end. Martin said, James, why don't you read us a Bible verse? And I think it was more just asking for grace and repentance over what did just happen. Amen. Do you have any messages that you want me to tell them?

Are you guys rivals, the rival podcast? We're kind of like sister podcast. I guess we're not really rivals, but ours is better. I'll tell them that. Tell them more like cousins. Al, but it's kind of the cousin that you have trouble getting along with, you know, when you get in close proximity. He's flipping again. All I know for sure.

Tell them they need more Bible. All I know for sure, love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It's not proud. It's not rude. It's not self-seeking.

It's not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Amen. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. There you go. Amen.

So go forth my man and love them and love them and laughing. Check out John on YouTube. You will laugh. You will have a good time. It's material is fantastic. So thanks for being. on Unashamed job. Absolutely. It's an honor. Thanks for listening to the Unashamed podcast.

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