Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 839 | Phil Changes His Mind About Missy After 40 Years & Jase Gets Rebuked for Backseat Driving

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Following a tense, dangerous car ride, Jase and Missy must get up and talk about the splendor of marriage after bickering all the way there. Missy reveals some exciting news for her branch of the family tree that includes a poignant blessing related to a recent tragedy. Phil remarks on Missy’s growth as a woman of faith, grandmother, and cook, and Jase uses some of Phil’s quotes about women to get a laugh out of a crowd. Al points out that Phil’s rough edges have smoothed out over the years, especially in his newfound relationship with his daughter, Phyllis.  -- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? It's welcome to Unashamed. Our overall stock has gone up today on the Unashamed podcast because Missy has joined us. Mine especially. My better half. Jason's stock is way up today. Thank you, Missy, for agreeing to come and be on the Unashamed podcast. The one thing I hear the most from especially our female fans, and by the way, It's definitely growing because everywhere I go now and speak and talk to people afterwards, there are a lot of women that come up and say, I never miss an episode. I'm unashamed.

And please have the wives on more. Actually, I'm a little nervous today. Usually, Jace is nervous because he came home yesterday and said, no, you called me. He said, can you please me on the podcast tomorrow? I did. But guess who asked me to ask you that question? I've never heard you say that. before so I thought, what is going to happen today that I'm not aware of?

Well, we've been wanting to have one of our wives back on again, and so you happen to be in town. We're in a transition. We're transitioning from loot to acts in an overall way, and we don't want to run off and leave Zach, because he's special. Although we hear he's in a conference, we're not sure what he's conferring about. What's funny about you saying that is I was going to say before you said that, but once you started talking, I didn't want to dare interrupt you. Good choice. What I was going to say was, is this is the first time we've had you on the podcast that I wasn't nervous.

And then you said you were nervous. Well, we need to remember, Jason, all that's said about this. Mystery. Mystery. You never know where Phil's going, babe. Three times. All of this is a mystery. And all these people could come together under one head, even Jesus, members of one body,

and shares together in the promise in Christ Jesus. Somewhere in that, it is a mystery to the world. Yep. They would not think we were that close. Right. In the heavenly rubs even. Oh, yeah, I know it. That's Ephesians 3 where we were talking about it.

You didn't got that. Jesus called on Ephesians. No. So I thought he was going to make the point in Ephesians 5 with mystery on why Missy chose to marry me. That's been a mystery ever since it happened. I use it in our speeches, you know, as an evidence of God. So I got a lot of questions as, Mizzy. So we're just going to start diving in because I have a few. And then I know we talked about a couple of things in past podcasts that I love getting clarification because when Mia was on, the last time he was on, I just point blank.

I said, and your dad is prone to exaggeration. You realize that me. And she said, oh, I know that fully. It's in our DNA. I know, no, no, no, no. You can't blame that on DNA. No, sir. As you came from the line of jubel, we came from the line of exaggeration.

No, that would be the K. Robertson line of exaggeration. That's true. That's right. If there's DNA, it comes from life. You like my jubal line, Phil? I did that for you. But Mia fully agreed with me, which I so appreciate it because I put her on the spot. But she's like, oh, no, you're right.

And then she was telling the stuff about her dad, which was great. I think I've been getting better on it. I wouldn't know. I stopped listening. We said that. Sorry, I didn't listen to it. Our entire thinking is, is. It comes to a head when all this went down, the death of Jesus, his burial, his resurrection, coming down to earth, the spirits given for all people.

You add all that up, you say, there was a, when Jesus shook, came on the scene, he and he alone created such a idea as all this. I mean, heaven and earth coming together. I mean. Well, and we, Jay, is it's a, what's the word? It's a warmth and all of that. I mean, it's a, it's what changed all of our lives for sure. Well, that thankfully is not an exaggeration. All of that actually happened.

And even more than we could ask or imagine, even more than we could dream up our fathom. He did it. That's awesome. That's where we are. But Jay says, Missy, that if it was not for Jesus, you all wouldn't be together. True.

Because that was the draw for both of you. That is true. Because you're so different, which is true. So we just didn't have a physical type of relationship, even though, you know, I'd kiss on you every once in a while. You kiss me back, which is great. But compared to, I think, most relationships, it had a greater spiritual presence.

Would you agree? Somehow, both of us at a young age were thinking long term in our personal lives. and you had seen what happened with your parents and you wanted their new relationship. And I had never known anything different than just you figure it out and you work it out. And so looking for someone who would do that with me, I realized that at a young teenage time in my life. And thankfully, you did too. Yeah, well, my number one goal back then was to try to get as many people to heaven as possible. And you can attest to that.

I was, that's what was driving me at that point of my life. I just was excited about sharing Jesus. And so I came out of my shell and started, because to share Jesus, you have to interact with people, which is the first 15 years of my life. I did not do, I did the opposite, you know. So through that conversation, you know, I happened to have a conversation with Missy. And so that's just kind of how it got started. Well, and we just did our marriage refresh this past weekend, and it's interesting because we were, this whole, the theme was True Grit was the theme.

Of course, Anna and Chray. I'm not a Western with John Wayne. It was. It is. The men like that in the way. Well, I was super excited when I heard about the theme because True Grit's one of my all-time favorite movies, both the original and the remake, which is rare. And so when Lisa and I spoke during our host talk, that's what we talked about.

But my point I was going to make with what you guys are describing about how your relationship began. Again, you guys struggle. We all struggle. It's not like anybody's perfect. But when Jesus begins at the center, it begins in such a more healthy place. So we're talking to so many couples that had no Jesus, either for one or both. And so now they've come to Christ. Well, they brought all the baggage with them.

So when you're talking about true grit, we're talking about trying to hang in there. Of course, the grip, which is Anna. Tomlinson, who's a good friend of both of ours who came up with this, and it's really good. So it's an acrostic for grace, radical obedience, intentionality, and then transparency is the T. So that was the four points. And so we basically taught that over the course of the retreat. And, you know, like you would think, there were some people there that gave some testimony of what God had done to get them to the place. but ultimately it ended with, if my relationship with God first isn't where it needs to be,

then we're really going to struggle with our relationship with each other. And so that has to be the starting place. But for a lot of couples, it's a restarting place. Well, if you think about the foundation, we built our relationship on the foundation of the rock. Jesus was the foundation. But so many couples like you're talking about, their foundation is each other. And even yours and Lisa's testimony about how. her foundation was you.

Correct. That didn't do her much good for a long time because you failed her because you're human. Right. And so trying to build a foundation after you've already, you know, put the boards up for the walls, you've got to go back in and try to put the foundation underneath a house you're already building. It's going to be a lot more difficult than if you start with the rock. Yeah, no doubt about it. And then we talk about that, about what can we do by leaving here, by having God where he needs

to be to fill the places that a spouse can't possibly feel, but can be a great companion to walk with you once he's done that. So I wonder, the reason I brought up the retreat was that since it was a Western theme, because true grit, so we had like the Western stuff, the gifts they get and everything was about Western. And even the night we did our banquet, they encouraged people to dress Western. And a lot of people went all out, you know, some do, some don't. There's 65 couples there. But y'all's name came up. And so this is, this is, this is, this is, I've been holding this for four podcasts, Missy, because I was going to rein this up the first podcast.

So y'all's name came up in the podcast, I mean in the marriage retreat. So we had our banquet, and then we were going to do square dancing after the banquet, which I've never participated in. And there was a guy who's a local guy that does square dances. He's a red-headed guy. And so he's like explaining to this group of people about square dancing

and what he's about to teach us. We've used this. You have. He's awesome. He's awesome. And so what he said was, he said, now I want to tell you this is going to be fun and just follow my lead. And he said, I'll tell you what Jace Robertson said. So I'm standing over there. He has no idea.

I don't remember what I said to this fellow. He said the next day after Jay's did this with his daughter at a daddy daughter banquet, he told his wife Missy, who told me, because you saw him in an airport. Said that this was one of the top five nights of his life. That was an obvious exaggeration. I'm kidding, babe. You got to know how this work. You made fun of me for exaggerating, but now when I said something like this, I'm not exactly. That's why I brought it up because I want to hear clarification.

First, if it was that, because I was laughing, I thought, Jay's and Missy are being talked about at this retreat. Well, it's an intentional night. Talked about intentionality. It's an intentional night that the church put together and hired him to come. in and really so easily teach how to do so dancing, which is intimidating to people, especially COC people who've never danced. We choreographed at school. Oh, yeah.

I can always tell the ones in settings like that who went to bars before they became a cruise. They know how to dance. Yeah, that's right. All the rest of us, no. My point was it was because I was with my daughter. He must have thought it was squared. Well, I think it's just the whole being, and you're not, it's not awkward because you're being told instructions on what to do one step after the other and you're having to work together.

So you and me. It was fun. I got his point. What he was trying to say was if Jay's Rogers going to do this, y'all can do this. I had fun, but I like to dance. I mean, you've seen me dance. Yeah. Yeah.

It's more of a bill. Well, we laughed about it because we did the first thing where you run down the thing and come back and then you do the round each way and then you do the peel around and go under the arch. So we did that at first. And, of course, I was winded after about five minutes. Well, after watching that halftime show the other night, I really think I dance better than I thought.

Yeah. That's the next thing I want to ask about is that. But anyway, I just wanted to mention that, that you guys were brought up in a positive way that that was something good. And look, our people loved it. It was a lot of fun. Well, did you ever talk about grits? If you're going to do it on true.

I never got to grits. This is why we need to have Jason at the merger tree because you always come up with a unique. I talked about true grit, the movie, but I didn't talk about grits. So I'm going to do at some point. So Missy and I also did. That was 100% your design.

So what do you want to call that? We just called it the Valentine's Dinner at Logtown. So we decided to do a few events this year. We didn't do very many last year. and I kind of regretted doing all of that because we got Logtown Estate and we wanted to use it for the public too in our community. So Kendall and I, Kendall is the property manager and that's Phyllis's daughter-in-law. She does a phenomenal job. She loves it.

She does all the weddings and the events and deals with all of the people and all the problems and just loves it all. And I wanted to mention that since you brought him up. that because a lot of people have followed Phyllis obviously being now in our life and in our world and so obviously you know she was hoping her kids would move here but they had lives you know they got married but because the opportunity of working out there which is Kendall's dream job and Joel is able to help and do what he does as well as another thing so just another opportunity which is that family can come together and do yes she she is a godsend out there she's amazing let's take a break So yeah, so finish that.

I just wanted to mention that that it's been a real blessing. I set it up. I mean, look, not only did she do a good job. It was torrential rain. Missy opened this up to the public. And I thought, you know, to be honest, I've already told Missy this, so this is not going to be like an intervention. But she asked me to do this, and I said yes. Of course, then I forgot about it.

Of course. She asked me a month ago. And so a couple days before, I was lining up the weekend here. And she's like, oh, we got that thing Saturday. Like, what thing? And so it was this thing. If I could just get you to look at the calendar. It's on the calendar.

I do not like calendars. So that's not my problem. I don't like to put, to be put in a box. It's just information. I know. It's just a day you plan for. I don't like that. They tried to put Jesus.

in a box and how'd that work out? I don't have an argument for this. They come out. Yeah. So we sold tickets to this event, had it catered, Kendall decorated, everything we're watching the weather because she wanted to do it in the barn outside and thought, okay, well, it's probably going to be cold. February is usually our coldest month. We'll get curtains.

We'll rent heaters. I said, okay, you do whatever you want to do. We'll show up. It is torrential rain. We have not seen rain like this when, months. Months. It's been a dry year. I mean, just started raining and pouring and never stopped.

I just would not stop. I thought there's no way people are going to show up. I mean, these tickets are free bought, but they're, I mean, I would just let that ticket go. I just would not think that they would be coming. Everyone came except one couple. It's because they had a sickness in their family, and they had told us a few days before they weren't coming. And so every other couple came. And when we got there, it was wet inside.

The curtains were blowing, and they were having the best time. It was shocking. It was loving it. It was shocking that people were there and were doing this. They were celebrating each other. It was a date. Yeah. It was a date.

And our date was, had a bumpy start. Because since I had forgotten about this and now we're two days. in. Well, Missy's then told me that we were going to speak. What? Yeah. So I thought, well, I got to say something. And so I jotted down a few notes hurriedly. But then when it got time to go, I couldn't remember what I was going to talk about. And I couldn't remember where those notes were. And we were home all day. I was studying. All day to prepare. I was just guessing here, Missy, but probably when you told him my

month ago that he forgot. You probably said we're going to say something. So some encouraging words. Yeah, right. Well, I thought it was like, thanks for being here. I didn't know it was going to be a presentation. So I asked her to drive so I could find whatever I jotted down a couple days ago and refresh my memory. Because you didn't have time to do that all day at the house. Because I was studying for this podcast. Okay. Anyway, I'm just clarifying. Okay. Four podcasts coming up and one marriage. party. And so, but I didn't realize that it was driving, driving rainstorm. And so now she's driving. And so we get about a mile into the journey and almost had a wreck. And it was not

Missy's fault, but it just, it created some bad energy because I hollered at her because this car was coming down Arkansas Road, and there's a shoulder on Arkansas Road, which is illegal to get into and make the turn. They had their blinker on. And at the last second before they started turning, they're in the shoulder, Missy, like, propels to take off. And I noticed that that car turned the blinker off and accelerated. Oh, boy.

We're fixed to hit within two seconds. So my holler was not like, hey, well, you know, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And Missy, and this car just come oblivious of us, just comes zooming in front of us. And so then it was kind of tense then because now I'm like, well, we could have died right here. And so the next thing that happened is. Well, do we have to go into every detail? Basically, it was just really tough driving conditions. It was doing the best that I could.

He was. He was. He was. criticizing every move I made. So finally, when we got to Longtown, when we got to Longtown, I finally said, that's it. I shoved it in park.

I got, I scooted over in the back seat, I said, please bring us the rest of the way in. Yeah, that's what happened. But leaving out the details, I think it's not given an accurate depiction. Do you want me to come back? Yes. Do you want me to come back?

It wasn't your fault. We were on 165 and she hit her brakes and our car started sliding. Oh, you did a hatcherplane? Yeah, we started sliding and she avoided the wreck. It was great. But still, it's like, well, that was wreck number two. So when we got on the levee, I shouldn't have said this. So we're on a levee that's one lane that's the lead in to our place.

And it is just pouring. The ditches are full. And so I just said, whatever you do, because we were coming up there and all the cars are parked on the levee. Well, it's on one lane road. There's no problem. You can ease around them if it's driving. But now it's raining so hard. I just said, whatever you do, drive slow.

And she just put it in park. You do it. So then when I step out of the car, I stepped in, I thought the road, but the water went over my boot. And so now my right foot's wet. which so I endured pain and misery the rest of the night because it was chilly and my right foot is now wet. Did you call that karma miss? So I get in. I'm not saying anything at this point.

So I get in and sneak around and we make it. And so I'm just saying it. I thought it was ironic that we're going to get up and talk about marriage and how to get along. And we had this episode, which I think was perfect. Was it still too fresh to not? not just go there? Oh, no, I did. Oh, that's what I would have done.

Well, because Kendall did great. She had some kind of icebreaker questions that they talked about at their tables before we got there. And she's like, let me just ask y'all a few of those. So we had no idea what they were. This is an unannounced Q&A. Yes, I said, let's go for it. And one of them was, which one of you is the most impatient?

And I raised my hand. I was very honest. And she was like, do you have an example? I said, actually, yes, I do. So we told the story of pulling up there and saying, you know what, I'm done. I'm done. You take over. I bet everybody was laughing because they were.

They were laughing. It went good. I mean, because Missy, she put a lot of pressure on me. Well, she did. I said, what do you want me to do in this speech? Which is why I was riding a passenger seat because she said, well, just start off and be funny. And I'm like, babe, I went through the speech, 90% of the things that I say that people laugh at, it was an accident. It's hard to just be funny.

So, and then I was really nervous when we started having to answer the questions that we weren't prepared for. Right. Because it was like, you know, who, who is the one that is more impatient? Well, I'm like, do I raise my hand? Do I call it like I say? So you were holding back. All right, so I wasn't planning this, Jace, but since you just brought this up, I'm going to go here. This is an impromptu mailbag from Robert H. Jr.

He said, first of all, I want to thank you guys for being a light in the world. He's trying to do his own podcast. He mentioned he loved the show. And then he says this. He said, but now I get to listen. to Jace, because he's no longer able to watch the podcast. I listen to him trying to understand why people find him funny. It is his matter of factness, and he has fact in quotes, that makes him hilarious.

He sounds serious, so serious it comes off as funny. So, Jace, don't try to be funny. Just continue to speak as you are led, and don't be shocked when people laugh. It's all good. What's this goes on? Robert H. Jr. We need to send him something. That guy gets me.

We finally, when you said that, I thought, man, I remembered reading a letter about this very thing. See, that's what I'm trying to say. And so when people say, because our showrunner does that all the time, she's like, okay, I think it's time for something funny, Jay. Well, you've got to remember. I just pull out my funny bag. In Epheson, three, this mystery, which I've been describing. is that through the gospel, the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body and sharers together, and the promise in Christ Jesus. That brings us all together.

That's exactly right. Well, now, rain or shine, sleet or snow. And heavy rain. Let's take another break. So in my presentation, I did bring up Ephesians 5, but I brought up, I got to the point of, when he talked about the women's role and the husband's role. And I was going to make a point about in the women's role, you have all sorts of things that Missy read Proverbs 31.

It was very good. And do you want to talk about what you did? Well, my idea, what we did is as I read Proverbs 31, wives, think about one of the things that you will hear that you need to work on in your marriage. or in your life. And then husbands think about what your wife really rocks at in one of those. And so when we finished, I told the women to whisper to their husbands what they want to work on out of that passage. And then husbands return it by saying, well, you rock at and then say which one it was.

So it was a little bit of encouraging and challenging for the wives. So she did a great job. but my humor point was going to be there's a lot of stories and chapters about all these qualities of women and I was going to make a joke when it got to my term but she went first I was going to say but man he just basically gave you one thing and I said because you know I was going to make a joke that we tend to be a one-track man and I was going to make a joke before I read something earth-shattering about that we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, which is the one really thing that trumps everything,

because when you really think about what that means, that's very profound. He gave his life for us. But I was going to make a joke about sex, but Missy stole my thunder when before she went Phil on me, and before she read the women thing. it before we got it. Yeah, we didn't discuss it together.

She's like, no, look, I'm not going to address the men because y'all just thinking about one thing, sex. And nobody really laughed at first. It was kind of like a, and then I went, amen. And they laughed. So it was a tag team joke, so it still, you know, hit home. But what I did, because when Missy said, she wanted me to do something funny, and I hope Phil's fine with this, because you said this. So what I decided to do, because I talked about, we had already talked about the trouble we had getting there.

Just because it's, when you're married, it brings out the best in you, but it also brings out the worst in you. Sometimes it's raining and things happen. Sometimes you almost have wrecks. There's temptations there, but you work it out and you keep the big things, the big thing. but I wanted to say that we all bring a certain amount of baggage to a marriage. You know, you brought that up. But a lot of that, we usually think of bad decisions or bad choices, but a lot of it's how you were raised. Yeah.

And so I was like, look. It's not necessarily bad baggage. It's just baggage. Half of my childhood was, I was raised by people who were not in Jesus. So some baggage came about by that. And so I decided to do some quotes by Phil because I had to say, look, part of the culture shock that Missy and I decided to join, that was where we had a lot of problems. Because, I mean, she just, I used to say, you know, we didn't, we don't have a lot in common, but there's a past podcast where she proved me wrong on that. Debunked that theory.

Yeah, over the years, we've developed some commonality that I wasn't aware of. So you're right. But it was harder at first because I would rather be in the woods. I was trained by, you know, Phil was a man's man, especially early on. And so he had some of these statements that he said when we were kids. And now you probably remember them. So I decided to do these quotes. And I said, look, I had to overcome these.

Now, some of them were great. The reason I brought up the grits is one of Phil's quotes that he says that, you know, people who get married and no one knows how to cook and they say, oh, we're not going to worry about it because we're going to live off love. And he said, I'll tell you what, you'll starve to death, which was a great quote. That's why I brought up the grits. But I, so I just listed a few of the quotes because I thought they would be funny. And they were.

And so the first one I gave was when God made a woman, he made a very strange creature. Everybody like that's a long one. That's a good. I was like, but you got to remember, I was told that many times. So my instinct. Did that turn out to be true? That did turn out to be true. But I'm saying.

Especially from a man's perspective. They're very strange. But it also became a problem because I couldn't just write off. everything as just strange. At some point, I've got to roll up my sleeves and deal with this strange creature. Okay. So I can't do. And strange is not always necessarily bad.

It was like Randy Kirby's description of John Howard. He said he's wonderfully odd. I mean, that's a great way to describe John Hathoskins. So then I had this one where a situation becomes a crisis when cattle or women stampede. And I said, now you may be wondering why I've attached that. to Phil Robertson, because he used to say William Shakespeare said that. But now if you go Google that. Yeah, we couldn't track that down to Williams.

Well, now if you Google it, it either says Anonymous or Phil Robertson. So now that you said it enough where you're the one that originally. Well, that got a thunderous boat. So another thing I said I had to work through is I do remember Phil sitting me down. It's like, okay, here's what you're looking for in a woman. Three things. And you probably remember this. You remember what?

Does she carry a Bible? Can she cook? Will she pick your ducks? And then he would add, because if she don't pick your ducks, she'll pick your pocket. These are all quotes from Phil. Do you remember that one, dad?

My brain. Oh, the ups and downs of childhood. Now, I got to some serious ones, you know. I said one of the things that I had forgotten if she won't pick her, she'll pick her pocket. That's pretty funny, that. I did get into a couple of serious ones where Phil, Toby, that, you know, because those were kind of fun and it was like, yeah,

but I got into the one about a woman wants something she can't have because I remember staring at the ceiling several times thinking, what does that mean? Because if I go with her, doesn't that mean it's over? That's right. That she has. Coming out of the 50s and 60s. That's kind of what it was like.

Yeah. You know, it causes trouble. Yeah. You know, marriage problems. I came and saw a whole department of women and the role they played. Yeah. First of all, they were in poor. And, I mean, it was to get good, godly,

kindness, love, gentleness, faithfulness. That's what the women of the 50s and 60s. Right. And then that began to. Well, culture changed for sure. Oh, yeah. I mean, culturally, that became, that was a bad thing. Yeah.

You know, and still, we've been really. Women had a tough job coming up in the 50s and 60s, a lot of poor black we were poor. Yeah. I mean, literally we were. But then that, but to come out of that, with love, faithfulness, gentleness. It's asking for a lot. Well, back to our original thesis with Jesus, that becomes possible. So just a reminder,

Dad's new book, I Could Be Wrong, but I Doubt it, why Jesus is your greatest hope on earth and in eternity. It's going to be coming out March the 12th, but we're trying to get folks to pre-order it, and the publisher has offered something great if you pre-order. If you go to I Could Be Wrong, But I Doubt It.com. and you pre-order, you're going to get your choice of either uncanceled, Theft of America's Soul, or your daily fill as a gift just for signing up and pre-order in the book. So check it out. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.com. Anyway, but that led me to, I kind of gave some ls about what I thought the key to marriage was.

And, you know, one of them was loyalty. And I gave a good quote from Phil where he said, you may think the grass is greener on the other side, but the grass is not greener, it's meaner. Remember saying that? That was a good quote. Now, I did do some negative ones too, because Phil told me after a girl broke up with me one time,

he's like, never trust a woman. That was probably bad advice. And so I kind of struggle with that because, you know, when I got to first Corinthians, 13, which was our kind of theme verse for the night, when it says love always trust because i remember reading that thinking no love you know this is you have to be vulnerable you know looking back i erroneously said this is uh what i used i said something she was a oh i said i call her miss sharp tongue i meant that she was she would tell you what she thought well they

they they were finding their way in the teenage years and you you're you're you're learning how to of get along with your mate. A lot of things can happen. But I will say, and I have said, I said, I said, I'll withdraw that now regarding Missy. I said, she's no longer Ms. Sharp Tongue. She's way better, and she can cook. He's changed your description, Mrs. I was giving her right.

You won him over with your feet. You won me over by, you know, she's in the kitchen now. There we go. And what she's cooking is downright delicious. It's like, mom. It was a shock to my system. I said, sharp tongue has graduated out of that. So that's why we had to have that talk.

The fact that you can't, and Missy did something really good that night, because she talked about even going back to our kids, which we've done on many times in previous occasions, and we talked about where we could have done things better. And it's amazing how it defy. fused our kids. All kids get betterness and rebellion towards their parents. It's just part of the cycle of life.

I think some of it turns out, Jace, you and this woman sitting right here, and the way they were raised their young people, you know, I could tell, what's that oldest boy's name? Reed. Reed. When Reed, Reed had his ups and downs, but you factor it all in and look at it now 30 years later, y'all did a masterful job raising them. Well, thank you, Phil. You know, I think it was the Lord.

There's still children of faith. That's instilled in them. This really is the family. You've done well there. Both of you have. The family really is, it projects being a part of the family of God. I mean, you remember that Ephesians 5 passage, he eventually gets down there and he's like, you know, I'm talking about husbands and wives.

He may think that, but I'm talking about Christ in the church. And we're part of his family. The reason it's written, Jason, is there's struggles. Well, that's what I'm saying. As we mature in the faith, it's a struggle. But God uses imperfect people to get Jesus out to the world. He also uses imperfect people to raise godly sons and daughters. And that's just the way it is.

I mean, they did a good job. Well, you say that. They did great. And I think it shows you also, like mine and Lisa's marriage could not be more different than y'all two. and yet we've been partners in the gospel this whole time. So it also shows you that you don't have to have the same experiences at all to then merge into the idea of kingdom work because that's what we all do together. And that's an encouragement for you guys out there because look, every family,

you know, your family. So you have family issues that you deal with. When Lisa talks about Phyllis coming in, because, you know, all of a sudden, we've all been together as one group for all the years, we've, you know, 40 plus years now. And all of a sudden, we have Phyllis, come along. And so you've got a whole other family that interjects into our family. And you're trying to make that work. And it's interesting because Lisa for the first time noticed after 40 years,

she said, I'm not sure your dad knows my name. I said, well, he knows your name. She said, this now? This is Lisa. She said, he only calls me Owls one. He said, I call out there and I say, I need to talk to Ms. Kay. Kay. And he said, Ms. Kay is Ows woman. And so the other day, recently, she said, Phil, do you know my name? Dad said, yeah, I know your dad. So then he didn't say it. There was a pause there. Then she said, what is it?

And so dad said, Lisa, and she said, okay, I was just checking. Yeah, the difference in me and you is when she said that if Missy would have said, I'm not sure your dad knows my name. I would have said, well, I'm not sure he knows my name on a daily basis. But his point, her point in saying this, she does this in a presentation recently, because she talked about how different dad has been with Phyllis, compared to how we've seen interact with women in our family, including daughter. Phyllis walked in here with her artist husband yesterday, about 5.30.

Tony. Again, again, the name. They showed up, and they brought supper. She cooked a pot of rice, a pot of bean. She walked in, she said, we're furnishing the food for supper tonight. I said, well, good. So I see growth. Well, of course.

Among our long lost daughter. But my point is that we see growth in you because as you've gotten older, you've gotten, I would say, sweeter would be the word, just like what you just described with Jason and Missy. And I've seen that with Phyllis a lot because she's. She, you're different with her than you, and that's the daughter-in-law who said, certainly Lisa has noticed. And so that was her point when she was talking about that is, you know, we get the idea that people can never change how they really are, but really we all can change. I haven't been mad over some issue in years.

Right. I just, you've gotten sweeter. Bill Smith was the same way. Has he got older, Bill got sweeter. The last time I got mad is when I got looked like an idiot because I brought up the fact that I think when we get, have family gatherings due to our older members of our family, we should all wear name tags. And everybody's like, that's the dumbest idea.

But now, after having this discussion, I'm going to reaffirm that. If you think that Phil or anybody else in our family has forgotten your name, let's just all wear name tags when we all get together. Well, I will admit. Now it went from U4 to modern day. and you say it's about 50. It's more than 50. Almost 60 different individuals.

But it's who you hang around because I'm with Jay's Moore, so I know your grandchildren's name. But I will admit, with Willie's large growing family, I have to sometimes think it through to remember Rebecca's the kid. I mean, you have to work at it. With that, can I interrupt y'all? You can. We want to know what you think.

Before you do it, though, let's take our last break. I have breaking news that I was just given permission to tell. Wait a minute. Okay. Breaking news. Yes, we've held this in for a few weeks. But Reed and Brighton are on baby number three. Oh, really?

Yes. Oh, that's impressive. 11-year-old kids sent that to it. That's awesome. Yeah, so we're super excited about that. They are just... We're growing. Speaking of growing.

Telling. Bill's keeping this up. Go write that down. What's going to be this one's name? Well, we don't know yet. They don't know. They don't even know. They're not going to find out the sex of the baby because they have one apiece and they want it to be a surprise to them.

But you know, like when Jay said, come be on the podcast, I hesitated because, first of all, sorry, don't super enjoy this. But I feel like it's necessary because y'all do such a great job with Unashamed and your demographic is the men. And I know the women want to listen to it too. but if it's been a while since I've sat at this table. And it's mainly because I just didn't want to. And I didn't want to because life was really hard last year. And I thought, if I come sit at this table, there's nothing that I can talk about. I can't because we're living through so much stuff at the time.

Yeah. You may jump in here. I don't want you to start trying. Just like, no, no, I'm good now because everything is going so well. I mean, we're on the other side of so many really tragedies that happened last year. And one of them was with Brighton's family. And just getting through all of that with the emotional trauma that they went through, the physical trauma that she was helping with her sister-in-law, just, you know, because she's a nurse.

Brighton is. And so all of that was really overwhelming. And then seven days later, Mia had a really hard surgery. and then an extra hard recovery that we did not see coming. I mean, we ended up back in the hospital four or five days later, and no one knows that. We didn't put that out there, but we were back in the hospital with her getting her fluids and trying to get her to stop, you know, throwing up, vomiting, and she just was not intaking anything. It was really, really a rough recovery.

She lost like 13 pounds or something. If you see me as she's tiny. So she now is dehuman. doing fantastic. And her head is much harder than the rest of her body because she is determined that she's going to get well. Every time this happens, she's determined she's going to get well. And even at Sadie's LO conference, which was just maybe two weeks after that surgery, she wanted to go so bad they put her in a wheelchair and wheeled her around the convention center. So her determination and will is what gets her through so much. And now she's studying abroad

with Lipscomb. And we did not think that was possible either. So she's doing fantastic. Brighton's family is, you know, dealing with the loss of those two children. But one thing that is what I've called a Godwink is when Brighton and Reid told us at Christmas that they were expecting their third child. Of course, I'm squealing and screaming and Jason's looking at me like I've lost my mind. Yeah, because we were opening presents and she opened and it was just a cardboard cutout kind of thing that said, I forgot what exactly it said, baby number three or on the way. On the way. But I didn't, it was addressed to us, but Missy opened it and she didn't have time to say, hey, she just reacted.

nuts. You weren't paying attention until she went nuts. Well, we were opening the gift. You know what I mean? She just went, I mean, crazy. And I thought, what is wrong? What, what has happened? No, you wanted you to say, oh, this finally happens. She snapped. He looked at and he was like, what, what, what is it? Because I got up and I ran over and I hugged Brighton and I had tears in my eyes. And Jay said, what? Because I thought, what could you think it could possibly be? I had no idea. It's a piece of cardboard that I can't read it. Is it a day at the spa?

I thought, boy, that must be an awesome piece of cardboard. Man, I thought it was maybe a pitcher on it or I thought, well, you're kind of overdoing it here. Well, the guy. He did think Usher was somebody that worked at the stadium. I know. He said, is it the Usher? I was like, no, it's just Usher. But here's the God wink about all of this, is,

when Brighton did the math and she got her first, her first due date, it is the day that her niece and nephew were killed. Unbelievable. So I asked her how she felt about that, how her brother felt about that, and her family, and she said at first they started crying, you know, but then it's like, it's something really awesome and wonderful to look forward to instead of just dreading that anniversary date. now we're looking forward to a new life that God created. So I just thought that was really amazing the way that they're really,

they're really delving and really trying to get a grip of that true grit in their faith and seeing that hope. Those children who was, we lost, they're still here. Yeah. They'll see them again. Yes, that's right. That's right. That's the beauty of heaven.

We had a, we had a couple, one of our lead couples, that had to, drop out of the retreat, which Lisa had to fill in some gaps because of a similar tragedy this week, lost a little child that was kind of extended like this situation. And, you know, it just, it took me back to the whole thing with Reading Brighton because I was talking to him and I said, look, you never know what your role will be, but it may be like, you know, behind the scenes, like providing for a family going through something like this. And I just couldn't, it took me back to I could not be prouder of Reading Brighton. and the job they did in their family, just to be in a support role, because there's not a lot

you can say in moments like that. You're just having to walk with people. And this couple, I was able, because of their experiences, to then impart some advice to them, just be there in that support role. So, you know, that's obviously tragic. In my speech, you know, when we got to the end, this is what I talked about, because I talked about loyalty and love, which is what Jesus did for us in love when he gave his life. But I also said, you know, whether you believe in God or not,

everyone wants to be loved. I said just acknowledging that will help your marriage. Everyone wants to be loved. And number two, no one wants to lose a loved one. You just don't want that to happen, whether you believe in God or not. And that's the beauty of what God offers in Jesus with his plan and his death and his burial and his resurrection. It's because we know at the resurrection, we're all going to be loved forever. It's going to be the best version of ourselves, new bodies.

No loved ones will be lost. Correct. I mean, you're participating in eternal relationships, which was the foundation of our marriage. But that's what keeps us from being at each other's throats or Missy's right. I mean, last year was very difficult for us. Throw in having a baby. That was not ours. And you were also finishing up a TV.

That was on top of. It was raised. But so it was a tough year. But I think this is what we're supposed to be on this earth. We're trying to be Jesus to other people. And it does not come without difficulty and tragedy and the ups and downs of life. And a visual encouragement of that is the chosen. So we got to go see the very first few episodes of season four.

And, you know, episode three deals with, and not, not spoil. this is coming out when after the 14th? Next week, yeah. So it'll be out of theaters by then. But I won't say exactly what happened, but there is a loss that happens in a very tragic way. And it's a fictional character. So,

but you're invested in this story and you see this loss. And there's going to be so many questions. But I told Jason on the way home, that this is so relatable to so many people. Because right now we're at the cliffhanger. of how are they going to deal with this and what is Jesus going to say to them. And I'm waiting to see how they play that out.

We know that, again, like what you said, Phil, is we're going to get to see those children again. They're completely innocent. That's right. It's another motivation to get it right with the Lord, get a relationship with him, and go see your loved ones in heaven. But dealing with the loss and the hurt here on earth is a real, real thing and very tangible.

And it's one step in front of the other. day by day, but Jesus is the way to go. Excellent. Well, Missy, thank you for saying yes and coming on the podcast. I loved it. I love it anytime. I usually like to make Jay squirm, but either wouldn't even squirming today. He was so.

Isn't squirming? Yeah, he was so comfortable. Yeah, we'll make plans to come to Longtown. Faith Family Freedom Week, and we're doing it again. Are we really? We're doing that again? We're doing it again, and we're giving plenty of notice this time. Last year we gave like a month's notice, and we had over a thousand people come.

So now we're giving a lot more notice and we're going to crank it up. So we'll get some details on that and tell you in future podcast because last year was fantastic. Yeah. All right. We'll see you next time on Unashamed. Thanks for listening to The Unashamed podcast. Help us out by rating us on iTunes. And don't miss an episode by subscribing on YouTube and be sure to click that little bell to get notified about new episodes.

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