Unashamed with the Robertson Family - Ep 98 | Ask the Robertsons: How Can I Reach Unbelievers in My Family?

Episode Date: June 5, 2020

Phil, Jase, and Al share advice on how to help your husband, wife, or child get to know Jesus, even if they're resistant. Remember: Even Jesus had earthly family members who weren't believers. Jase stumps Phil and Al with his question about why June 1 is such a special day. And Phil introduces the resident gator, Pete. See episodes of "Unashamed with Phil Robertson": https://bit.ly/2J4XsiX   See clips from Phil's TV show "In the Woods with Phil": https://bit.ly/2PNM6k1 - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am unashamed. What about you? So I don't know when this will be aired because sometimes we do them a couple days beforehand and sometimes the day of. But y'all know the last two days. And today is a special day. You know what today is, right? It's June 1st. What is today?

What is the significance? Do you know? June 1st. y'all this is embarrassing that it's taking you this long i thought about you got up this morning i didn't even know what day of the week it is no this is i don't know that but that pandemic when they when they cut out beating with the brothers on sunday once you lost your sunday god's gone okay man lost the north star which was somebody said well they're going to knock out going to church i said no or not, all three of us seated at this table right now where two or three, as three of us,

are gathered together. And my name, Jesus said, I will be there. So this is. Okay. But dad doesn't know it to bathe like he's lost the North Star. What do you do with it? I don't know what June 1 has to do with it. Well, June 1, this is the opening day of frog season.

I did not know that. Phil, if you, look, there's a, they now have a law about. That's good information to know because, listen, day before. Careful. Yesterday, I drive up on Dog Bayou. Yeah, which we own. Which we own it. Yeah.

And the water there, it's there now, I left it on it. I'm getting excited. So there's a lot of vegetation. Yes. The first thing I see is about a four foot gator. sliding along. But in the background, I'm looking at the gator

and where the beavers have dammed up my riser to drain this thing. The beavers are down there. I just got it all covered up. They thought you left. That's why they've been working out. They've held the water, but across the dog, it was this sound right here.

Roe, roo, roo. And I said, Dan, do you hear all them bullfrogs? I said, Jace would like that this would be music to his ears. Oh, I'll be there tonight. They are there. Because I was wondering where I was going to go. They are there on the dog.

You know what the sign was? You know what a gator's favorite food is, according to an alligator farmer? Frogs. Frogs. So you've got to get in there and get them. I put that together instantly. It's a two-way street. That old gator has moved in on these frogs out here.

That was the sign. So, well, I won't harm the gator because it's not gator season. You have to have a ticket. but and do we hope one day that we call him Pete does oh you've named the Gator named him Pete he was there last year he was about a three-footer last year but evidently they grow about a foot of year because he's about another foot and I said look at old Pete here and he goes out there and he numbers his eyeballs looking at us and he'll slither along does a gator eat beavers because maybe they can oh yeah I think they got to get big enough and then he'll so that's a good thing

because that would be a good thing oh that is real good but you know a bad thing about the is you know where they love to reside. First they move into your hole, then they move into your line. Because they're like, hey, here's it. I saw another one over on the blind on the pipeline. And up on that log, that front log, I just saw something hit.

And I said, that might have been a beaver. I'll take him out. But he was camped out on the blind. I pull up there and I was following the bubbles. I'm motoring along, following the bubbles under the water. He goes out there about 20 yards. I put my motor in neutral come up with my 22 ready for him for a beaver head and I saw what come up. It was an alligator head.

He's looking around me and I'm thinking, son, you better be careful around here. I thought you were a beaver. He didn't know. I put my 22 back up and he goes on one way and I go the other. But he was in one of our duck blinds laying up on the car. These gaiters have really flourished around it. We were going, I was with my wife the other day going down Jonesboro Highway because it was a flood. It was, you know, a flood.

And I said, look at that gator. I mean, that's in the backwater of Louisiana. And there was a 10 foot. This one was 10. Woo. Just swimming right along the road. And I thought, boy, the gator. Well, you know why.

There was just this last week. There was a story. So Hitler had a pet alligator. And it's been alive since Hitler was alive in some zoo in another country. And it just died last week. It was 89 years old. Whoa. I was not aware of this.

Yeah, the gator lived almost 90 years, and that was in captivity. I bet he was a hoss by the time. I bet he was. I will say this. People ask me all the time. I've been around alligators, I guess, my whole life because in Louisiana. Sure. I've never, I don't feel threatened by an alligator.

I don't either. Now, crocodiles, okay, they'll kill you. They're aggressive. Yeah, but alligators, you know, our friends, who we are, friends with, by the way, and swamp people. They, you know, when you're on TV, what I've noticed is the producers and the show, they tend to dramatize actual events. They didn't on our show, though.

We have trapped alligators in our past and have eaten an alligator, which I would say average, you know. Pretty good. I mean, pretty good. The tail meets pretty good. If I was having. I like their jaws better. Yeah.

If I hadn't eaten in a day, I would eat it. But it's not like compared to a frog. I mean, a frog, I'm sitting there staring at the sky, glad to be alive and well. I mean, those things are corruptious. Well, you have both over there on the dog because I looked at them yesterday. I will look into that later. I saw a picture of Jay's of some family that went, because Florida, you know, it's covergators. And they rented a house.

And so in the pool, there was a floaty, a giant, I mean, along in this table here, look like a 10-foot alligator floaty, you know, just that the kids play on it. Then there's a six-foot gator laying on top of the 10-foot floaty. It was the strangest thing. It was laying on top of a floy gator. It was a gator decoy. It was a gator decoy. And it drew him right into the book.

That's kind of disturbing. It is a disturbing image. I saw that. I thought that is the strangest picture I've ever seen. So let me give you this weird factoid. The opening day of frog season is after. the day of Pentecost which is

because if you think about it now I read this and I did some research I said what I'm just saying you would be the only person in the world that would connect the day

of Pentecost to the opening day no look one of my buddies sent me a text because he does every year you know happy frog season day and I'm like

hey all right but then he'd always the day before he says happy day of Pentecost and I did the mat he did this for a couple years and I just disregard it because I thought what is you talking about but when I actually did the research it's actually true and I did this just for y'all so what happened after the resurrection which is Easter so if you fast forward the calendar when you have Easter which I don't know what day it is whatever it's like I don't know it changes 49 days later, they had the day of Pentecost.

And so that's why they acknowledged that. Now, so you thought, well, how did you find that out in the Bible? But when I did the research, I actually figured out. Because you remember in Acts 1. All right, Jesus comes back from the dead. Well, then in Acts 1, it says he appeared to them over a period of 40 days. Correct. And gave many convincing proofs he was alive.

and then somehow they figured out, I guess, nine days later, because he said you will receive power when the spirit comes on you. And I'm quoting a lot of scripture here, but if you read Acts 1 and 2, you'll wait right here in Jerusalem. Yeah, and you'll see that. Well, then all of a sudden here comes the tongues of fire and the sound of a violent blowing wind, chapter 2, which I wish I could have seen that.

And then there was the big debate, oh, they're drunk, you know. and well then it ties in with what happened at the Tower of Bible. Now you're going back to Genesis 11 because God said, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth. And they said, no, we're staying right here. I'm going to build a tower to the heavens. And so he confused their language, which is why we have the different languages.

But here, the sign that the Holy Spirit had been unleashed on the day of Pentecost was that each person heard the decisive. the apostles speaking in their own language. And they were there from all over the world. All over the world. The actual miracle was that there was no division of the language, which is quite the miracle. I mean, if you hear one guy speaking 14, I don't know, 15, 100, people are listening and they're hearing their language from one voice. It would be like going to the United Nations, and you see them all sitting there with the things on there.

so somebody can translate, nobody would need the headphones because you'd be able to hear the guy. Wouldn't that be a cool thing? They're all taking their headphones or looking. This would be a good movie scene. It would be. And they're all like,

we hear our language from one voice. Coming out of this one guy. How are they doing that? And then all of a sudden have the wind, you know, start blowing. And then fires dancing on their heads, you know. That's kind of excited. I would have been paying close attention.

Go what's fixed to happen next? I would have gone to one knee and said, yes, Lord. Because that's basically what happened. And then Peter said, now that. Quote as Joel. He said Joel predicted this way back. Yeah, so Joe the prophet. Since I've gone down this road so far, then Peter said,

now that I got your attention, or the Lord has. And then he shares Jesus. And then they said, what do we do? How do we respond? And he said, repent, be baptized, every one of you. I think I know where you're going now. For the forgiveness of sins. And it says you will receive the Holy Spirit.

Well, I think there's an important distinction because they had the Holy Spirit fall on them. Then in his sermon, he says, what has been poured out and what you now see and hear. So he poured it, there's a difference in have the Spirit poured out on you and then having it in you. which I like that 1st Corinthians 12 where it says he's given us the spirit freely to drink and so the fruit of the spirit we know love joy peace patient kindness goodness and so really you know I say all this to say two of the greatest moments on the earth having the spirit inside you being drunk on the spirit Ephesians 5 and then you take that and go frog hunting It's absolutely almost too much for the person.

I thought you were going somewhere else. I thought you were going to wind up in Acts 10 when the big sheet came down out of heaven, which would have had frogs in it. And then so Peter, who could not have eaten a frog under Jewish food laws, now because he's a free man in Christ, he can eat frogs. I thought that's where you were going on. No, I wasn't going there, but I've gone there before, which is. Because people are like, oh, it's disgusting.

A frog. You know, you're going to eat a frog. And, you know, because I've said this many times. I wrote this in my book. I mean, the greatest day of school that I had in my school career was the day I was like seventh or eighth grade. They said, we're going to dissect a frog. Let me tell you, I had that frog dissected in about four seconds.

Everybody was looking around. And I'm like, unedible, unedible, unedible, all this throw away. This is the part we want. Right. A plus people reason they don't understand about how good a bullfrog is is because when they think frogs, they think of the little toads jumping around, you know, in your front yard. So they think, ooh, who'd want to eat that? But you pick up a big bullfrog, I mean, with that meat hanging down on those two legs, I mean, that's just, that's God's kitchen. When we were playing golf at the peninsula, I hit a ball, a little right.

There's a pond. So now I'm, I realize my ball's going to. And so you're like, what are you doing? Are you looking for a place to drop? I'm like, no, I wonder if there's any frogs at this point. And so I started walking around. I said, I want to see what an Alabama frog looked like. You know, I'm looking.

And I don't see any. And then I took one step because I'm right by the bank. And I kid you not, one of the biggest bullfrogs I've ever seen in my life, just jumped out in front of it. And you saw them big old legs on that dog. Well, I saw it, but it was so big. And I was looking out here. I forgot to look right here. And it jumped.

I mean, my heart just like, because I thought it was an alligator crocodile. It just, it was the sound. And then I thought, man, I mean, they're humongous. So that's why when I take people frog hunting that have never gone, it's one of the things we do in our charity event. And they pay a lot of money just because of the adrenaline rush. And we're, you know, we're sending it to good causes. Because they'll scream, just like at the alligator, we do the same thing every time.

because these alligators are used to us riding around. So we'll pull up beside them. Well, they're all looking like, oh, cool. It's like we're on a zoo trip, you know, and we're right beside it. And everybody's happy and looking at the alligator until he takes off. Because they don't understand, they underestimate the power and the speed. Of an alligator taking off, it's so loud, it rattles your bones. And they all scream.

And then the same thing, when they come up on the frog, they got their hand up, because I'm sitting there in the ear saying you can do it. There's nothing on him that can hurt you. He has no teeth, no problem. And you're basically manipulating them into trying this that they have never done. As soon as they grab that frog, they feel the power. This thing is just one big ball of muscle. And when he said, you know, he'll get those back feet and try to put your hand off when that happens.

Screen and release. They do the same thing every time. and just are these women or men those are women but I've seen grown men scream I mean not holler

scream I didn't know that was going on yuppie men yepy men but you know what I mean and now once they get over that then they realize that's what he's going to do

then they'll get it though in the ice jess here we go so I just thought I'd share those two special days that's pretty good happy frog day happy frog day and happy day We have penny coughs.

All right. Let's take a break on that one. So we get a lot of questions. We appreciate, by the way, you guys send us your questions because a lot of times that drives what we talk about, even in our text, and in the book of John. But one of the things that I've seen occurring over and over, and Jason, I were talking about this early this week, is how do you approach it if your spouse possibly is an unbeliever? I get this a lot.

You're a believer. Your spouse is an unbeliever. how do you reach them? What's the best? What should I do? I've had the same question about what if your children grow up, you know, and you had a believing household, and then obviously they get of their own age, maybe they go to college, whatever, and then they don't choose the path of being a believer. So how do you reach them? How do you do that? So I wanted us to talk a little bit about that, because I thought it was interesting. We're in John 6 and now in John 7, and Jason, you and I were talking about this, you know, Jesus basically dealt with this same issue in his own family.

We just, you know, everybody sort of assumes like, oh, well, I guess his family believed immediately that he was the son of God. But according to John 7, that's not it at all. In fact, John 7 says even his own brothers did not believe in him. Yeah, it's an obscure passage. And look, some of the things Jesus would say and do about his earthly family makes religious people feel really uncomfortable. You know, that passage in Matthew 12, when they, he was in there, they were having a little

kumbaya session there, and they said, hey, your mom and brothers are here. And he said, this is my family. I mean, that's not exactly what he said, but. It's Matthew 12, 46. Yeah. And so they're like, well, why would Jesus say that? And you remember that other place where he said he didn't come to bring people. peace, you know, but a sword, because other places say, you know, he's a prince of peace.

So what did he mean? But a lot of people will be divided and families be divided over their view of Jesus or, you know, their relationship with Jesus. So it is a very tough issue. You have the passage in, is it First Peter three, where if it says if a woman has an unbelieving husband, she ought to, you know, stay with him and try to win him over and set the example. And so you have that example in there, which means to me, first of all, that when you get married, husband and wife, Matthew 19, Jesus defined marriage, a male and a female.

He goes back to what God said in Genesis too. And for this reason, them being created male and female, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. What God is joined together, let not man separate. So whether you believe or not, when you make that vow, you're making a vow to God, whether you believe he exists or not. Would you agree with that? I agree with that. And so, and really when you look at marriage. Not the two vows on the earth you make.

One is the one you just said. Yeah. When a man tells a woman, for better or worse, till death does a part. Or a woman tells a man. Yeah. Woman tells a man. Yeah. And the other one is when you say with your lips, Jesus is Lord.

Yeah. Romans 10, 9. or a variation of that. Jesus is, you know. In fact, Paul uses the. Everything else, yes, no, I'll do my best. I'll try. But those two, that's serious.

That's quite the mouthful. Well, and Paul even uses that as an illustration in Ephesians 5 when he talks about the church being the bride of Christ, when you say he's going to be your Lord, it's an I do. It's a coupling spiritually with God. Yeah. Amazing that he tied that together there. It is, it is.

So we say all that to come to John 7.5 and say, you know, we were talking about it, how Jesus actually had unbelieving family members. It's like you, Jace, being raised with Al, Willie, and Jep, and saying, guys, I tell you, I've come down here through my mother, Mary, with no sex involved. that's why I'm here I know I'm y'all's brother I'm going to die they're going to put me in a tomb in three days I'll be raised from the dead I just want to give you a heads up

on where this thing is going and his brother said if Jace had told you that what would you have said I don't know about all that which is obviously can you imagine that all and it makes you wonder what they thought because you know they had heard

the story that that Mary and Joseph had presented as to what happened. Well, I'm sure they talked about it. I mean, all the apostles. But they didn't really believe it. I mean, it's like, you think you're perfect?

He's like, yeah. Yeah. All the apostles are there watching the miracles. You say, well, how come they just didn't say, well, I mean, I'm with him, no matter what. Why are they deserting him when he finally goes to the cross? You're like, wait a minute, you guys, he's been telling you from the beginning, I'm going to die, be buried and raised from the dead. And Peter was sitting there and said, hey, no way, that's ever going to.

He's arguing with him. And he said, no, it's Peter. Get back from me, Satan. You're trying to thwart what I'm doing here. You just think about what a hard thing to pull off that was. Well, I remember we're only picking up the story of Jesus when he's 30 years old. So he had 30 years up until the point we start reading about it. Exactly.

Just because the Bible doesn't mention it much. Now, you have the ones. Remember, no miracles until John baptized him. That's right. At 30. At 30. At 30. But at 12, he was at the temple.

That's the one time at the temple. He got left behind. And it says he was home alone. It was a home alone scenario in the Bible. But you can imagine, I know where this went wrong. Because here he's claiming all this stuff. And his brother's like, yeah, right, okay. And maybe they did get a, you know, see some weird moments where it's like,

no doubt. So, you know, they take him to show and tell, you know, at school or whatever. I'm just making this up, obviously. But I'm saying, okay. He claims he can do all this. Well, come show my class, you know, that you can do this. And, of course, Jesus just decides not to. And they're like, I mean, I'm sure this just went off the rails.

And they had some bitterness because the bottom line is we're reading this, they did not believe. Well, listen to this. To go with their time about it. So here's what they said in John 7. Jesus' brother, they're about to go down to this feast of the tabernacles. And Jesus said, no, I don't think I'm going to go. and his brothers say to him, you are to leave here and go to Judea so your disciples may see the miracles you do.

Yeah. I mean, think about that how crazy that. They didn't believe because we know that in just a minute, but they're like, you need to go down there and do some of your stuff. Then here's what they're really good at at verse four. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret, you idiot. That's the part they left out, but that's what they're telling them. Since you are doing these things, show yourself. Yeah.

Go show them what you and do. That's right. That's why I was saying that. They had been rubbed wrong by this miracle brother, you know, the chosen one. I mean, because look, every time we had an issue as brothers coming up where I deemed one of my brothers was the chosen one because he did something good. All that promoted was fighting. If Jesus had been one of your brothers, Chase, if he had been one of your family members, you just think what friction that would have caused. Oh, I'd have probably destroyed that.

the whole plan because he probably wouldn't have made it to the child. You know what I mean? Some accidental issue on the water, you know, where I attempted to do something, and then I probably would have lost. But, you know, but still the point is you just don't believe. And that's why I've always said, and we've always brought up in here, the miracles themselves, there's always a way to justify how it didn't happen. And even things that are not miracles, God working in your life, you just excuse it and say,

nope, can't be. When you have in your mind, and now I'm getting to what we're talking about today, which is your husband or wife that doesn't believe or your kids, I mean, that is the bottom line right here. Even though they've heard their stories and they may have seen, they've been in Bible class and they see God working in people's life until you surrender for yourself. there's always a way to justify in your mind that it's not real. It can't be.

Let's take a quick break. So you're right. Jason, what's interesting is they saw the miracle. Now, think about that. And we've talked a lot on this podcast about what a miracle really is, and they've been seeing it. But they,

from this context here, they viewed it as just some ability had like he was a really good baseball player or whatever. It was like, look, if you're going to advance your career, you got to go do your stuff where there's, you know, that's how they viewed it. That's how they viewed the son of God. Show yourself to them.

And I think because they were linked in family, which is the point of what we're talking about here, sometimes that's the hardest ones to reach because they tend to say, well, what's so special about him, you know, and we grew up with him. That's exactly what the problem is. And so the first place you want to start when you have an unbelieving family member is you've got to realize, you know, we're going to have to try to give them a picture of Jesus that they may not have considered. Correct.

Because whoever they think he is or whatever they think he is, is obviously wrong. Right. Because we know how good Jesus is, and we know that the more you read about him and the more you get to know him, the more you want to surrender to him, the more you want to love him. So forget the rule-oriented or the manipulation. They have to have a picture of God that pricks their heart, that cuts them to the heart. So that's where I would always start. The second thing we wanted to talk about is that if you fast forward this to the Acts 1,

where I was mentioned earlier about the frogs and the day of Pentecost, well, when you read verse 13 and 14, I think that's where it's at. So here in John 7, 5, they didn't believe. But something happened supernaturally in their lives. Because when you get to 14, this is post-resurrection now. They all joined together in verse 14, together constantly in prayer, along with the women and marry the mother of Jesus. Uh-oh. And with his brothers.

Yep, there they are again. Well, wait a minute. So they showed back up. They showed back up. And they're praying. And they praying. Now, they went from whatever you call that in John 7, criticizing and among other things. I mean, almost kind of making fun of it. Condescending. Well, and also you said, well, what happened?

What was the transformation? Well, if you read in 1st Corinthians 15, you know, you have the gospel. Well, the Corinthians, the most embarrassment in the spiritual history of the world, they forgot the gospel and they were a church. Okay, that happened. And so he explains to him what it is. Jesus died. He was buried. He was raised.

But then he says, and that he appeared. Well, there's a group of people that he appeared to. And it says after that, he appeared. Let's see, verse six. Let's see. The 500 of the brothers of the. same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all. So somewhere in all that and this transformation,

the resurrection changed their view. That's kind of what you, how do you go from John 7.5? Now, they might have come along before that, because we're just making a guess. But I'm pretty sure that whether that was the moment they changed their mind with the rest of the apostles or that confirmed it once your brother's dead and now he's back a lot and you know he's dead because it's not like you heard the story he's your brother you go to the funeral and mary was there and saw him die so that's your brother's dead and then three days later he comes back well guess what everything i thought about you i was wrong you are the chosen one we're We're going with you.

They're saying now we get it. We get it. You are now the official chosen brother and you are leading the outfit. We're going. That's what happened. To y'all's point about the question raised about our family members, you have to remember it's going to do damage if it hasn't already been done, which happens a lot to your children. if they don't understand 1 John 2, 3 and 4 or 5,

we know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. Your siblings, your children are going to watch you. The man who says this is dad or this is mom, the man or woman who says, I know him, I know Jesus, and the children are listening, but does not do what he commands. is a liar and the truth's not in him. But if anyone obeys his word

and the children are listening, God's love is truly made complete in it. This is how we know we are in him. Whoever claims to live in him and your children are watching must walk as Jesus did. So he outlines, and you take that, that's 1st John 2, but over in 1st John 4,

he said no one has ever seen God. Now, we haven't seen God. The father. Yeah. The father. We haven't seen him. No one has. No one has ever seen God.

But your children are observing the one you say they need to observe. They need to come to Jesus. No one has ever seen. But if we love each other. God lives in us and his love is made complete in him. What he's saying is Jesus has to be there and the love for each other had better be demonstrated on a regular basis or they'll never see him. Because if they see vitriol and hatred and you say. But think about what letter is right.

You're chasing them away from the one you say they ought to observe. So I'm not saying that goes on with this particular questionnaire, but I'm just saying. It's a great point. It's the best thing you can do. If you don't see love for each other, you say, and you're claiming Jesus, where's the love? Think about this conversation in John 7. Really, the point you made or that the Holy Spirit made in John is when he said, if you want to be, have a following, you know, you got to go public. It's not about private.

But just think about how families are constructed. Most people act one way in public and differently in private with your family. That's my point. So when you go to a church building and here's your son, who's an unbeliever, and he's watching. He's watching you. Now, look, having said all this, there's always going to be a hypocritical nature. to every Christian because we all make mistakes before, during, and after, although there should be repentance, a change in life and direction.

So, and they're going to have to get to heaven in spite of us, which is what I've said, look, you know, with my kids, my oldest, I remember probably the most impossible moment that we had was, you know, he was mad about something, you know, his mom, they had got into a tiff or whatever, but it was like a, this is a deal breaker to him, you know, he's out of the family, he's leaving. And so instead of just, you know, looking at it like, well, you idiot, what do you mean? Because that wasn't going to work. That wasn't going to work.

I told Missy, I was like, you know what I think we should do? I think we should just admit our faults in this situation because some of what he's saying, he has a point. I said, let's just start there, which is the very thing that I didn't want to do, which is why I thought, what would, you know, Jesus do or what is he doing? I'm like, you know what, we do make mistakes. Well, guess what? When we started there, that was the place to start. Yeah. It kind of took the tension out.

That's right. I'm like, first of all, because it's hard, look, especially with my family, you know, we've become famously known by, from our women. of having a hard time saying I was wrong. I love you. I'm sorry. I've probably heard though when I was raised. It's like your mama when she stood over my bed

and I had the thought. I opened one eye. She was just standing there. I said, you know, like you're standing over me. What do you want? And she said,

Phil, do you love me? I said, yeah. And she says, write it down. I'm like, I said, got you.

You went to Eli Wallach. I went back to sleep. That was your subconscious, your one-ey-as, your one-ey-as, memorable Eli-Wallet used to do that. That's quite the request. Write it down. So the next morning I go in there,

got me a cup of coffee, and I walked to my favorite chair, and right in the middle of the chair was a piece of paper and a pen. And I thought, that's that little event I had last night. She said, do you love me? I said, write it down.

Because you never say it. So, look, I get my pen out and I wrote it down, Ms. Kay, I love you. I always have, I always will, and I signed it, Phil. And I left the note on the side of the chair there. Well, the next thing, next thing I know, I see it and it's taped on our bed, what do you call the back of a bed? Bed frame, head frame. Head frame. It's taped on the head frame.

And it's been there about 25, 30 years now. Still there. So now you feel like that's what I deducted that women are strange creatures. You've just got to learn to live with. Or that you could say, I love you more. Let's take a quick break. So point being is that I do think it starts there. You are showing him of what I'm discussing.

Well, it's a private public. I mean, look, if the more appealing Jesus is going to be to your family member is based on you, trying to influence them publicly and privately and how you lead your life? I think about that every day with my kids. But your own record is saying, Jase, and it was a good deduction, sometimes parents, they get so rule-oriented that they, the word the Apostle-Ull used, fathers, he said, fathers, don't exasperate your children.

And what he was saying is, look, you can overdo this, but you are famously quoted as saying the only rule around here is that there are no rules. There are no rules. And guess who said that? Jesus. And people, oh, no, there are rules. You know, I've talked to many of a young crowd. And look, I'll say how many laws, I guarantee our listeners, if we do this, how many laws are we under as Christians? And I've heard everything from thousands to 14, you know, to 666, well, to two, love the Lord

of God, you know, which his point wasn't to give you two laws. He was just saying, if you love God and love your neighbor, that'll sum it up. And then the only rule I ever found in the Bible was in the last chapter of Galatians, chapter 6. He says, do not boast about anything except Jesus Christ our Lord. and it says peace and mercy, which the whole book is about you're not under law, Galatians. But then he says, peace and mercy to all who followed this rule. I think it's, I think he was trying to be funny.

You want a rule? Here's a rule. Look that up, by the way. Check me out. It was like, yeah, brag on Jesus. There you go. There's your rule. And so you need come to Jesus meetings, but it's pictures and introductions of Jesus and how he operated in your setting.

how your life is responding to that in private. Because I guarantee you, if you want to ask your kids how you are, I don't want to ask them about whether you go to church or not. That's what most people ask. Well, do you all go to church? I mean, they don't, you're a kid. He doesn't believe he's a teenager and does it. Do you go to church?

I would ask, well, how is he at home when nobody's looking? And at school or wherever. Well, right. And how is he? Well, now we're getting into. And so I know we don't have long to go. And just I want y'all's comments on this because it was something we talked about and I thought about because you think, what is the problem in marriage and what is the problem with having rebellious teenagers or the problem is we don't have a point to start over? Because you think if all of us sin, all of us make mistakes, I mean, I can't imagine marriages.

I'm sure there's a few out there without Jesus that have figured out a way to get along. without winding up in jail. It's just because there are so many marriages. But most of them, I figure, they struggle with things like forgiveness and starting over. Because if you take Jesus out, well, that's the ultimate place to start over because of his grace on a cross and a new beginning because of the resurrection. So when you throw in baptism, something like that, where it says through the gospel that we read in 1st, Corinthians 15, You actually reenacted the death, the burial, and the resurrection, your old self is crucified, you know, verses we've gone over.

Well, it gives you a point of reference to actually start over. So I think the key to marriage and having these conversations and reaching people that are unbelievers and the key to rebellious teenagers is in Jesus, you're finding that place to say, I'm sorry, and then move on. do you say I love you and then move on it's like a clean slate because no matter you know learn from it you know no matter who you're married to grow from it yeah and move on you you got to have grace i mean i thought my wife was an angel probably for the first two years we dated because i never saw her mess up i thought i have fooled around because you know there's a verse in that that says be careful when you you entertain strangers they may be angry of course i didn't have sex till my way night so i wasn't sure how that played with an angel or whatever so but i was thinking this i have i have

met an angel she's never raised her voice never said a four-letter word so when did you begin to when did reality finally set in jays well first week no i mean i said while the first two years we were dating you know i mean so that there was she pulled some stunt you know and i'm like okay not an angel close I don't have forgot the exact moment but I thought okay but you know what it wasn't I mean as far as compared

to most people she she's never raised her voice I've been married to her 30 years she's never came out and said I tell you you know what never which is pretty amazing she only raises her voice in song when she raises her voice

well you know that little thing she does feel you like it I don't think she's ever done it in front of you has she the yodel that she teaches on what your voice can do has she i've heard her a couple times yeah i i i i she hates it when i do it because i try to put her on display i'm like do that thing because she can litter you know how these people uh break glass well she i think if she worked on it a little bit she could do it because it's so loud i mean if i heard that in the woods i'd run yeah because she she shows you how to use your body to sing properly and one day i was Coming an earshot of the house.

Well, she was teaching a young girl how to sing, and all of a sudden I hear this sound. It was just rattling my body. And I was like, I walked in. And I said, what was that? And she said, oh, I yodeled. And I said, that is awesome. Do it again.

But then she wouldn't do it. And so she was embarrassed. But that's the only time she raised her voice. She could be loud, but she chooses not to. All right. Let's take one last break. So I think that, you know, we've talked a lot in these last few podcasts about our own family. And obviously, Mom was the first one in our family to come to Christ.

And because we weren't, me and Jays weren't raised in a Christian home at all, even though I went to church. I went with some folks. So I was exposed to some stuff. Mom became a Christian because basically, and she articulated this well on a couple of podcasts ago, she just finally got to her breaking point, though. I don't know what to do. everybody was telling her she need to leave you, but instinctively she was taught by a grandmother,

a believer, no, you hang in there. You fight for your marriage. And so she kept telling her that. But she turned to Christ first because she had nothing else for that resurrection moment. And so then all of a sudden she had the internal strength. That's pretty well where we all are at one point.

Exactly. And then so when you guys were split up, you came to the realization that your life was miserable. Yep. And it was like, And it was driven to that. And you thought, you know, because up into this time, you didn't trust anybody. It certainly didn't trust God.

You didn't trust anything. I didn't trust me as far as I could say. Exactly, exactly. I didn't trust you. And so, but then you had that resurrection moment where then you said, you know what? If I want Ms. Kay and my boys, I got to get to someplace better than I'm at. And then you talked about it before. You kind of retreated from this.

You were introduced to Jesus. You were. And think about our verse. Look what impact that had as the years went on. Because I was in my 20s. Now I'm seated here talking to y'all in my 70s. We just had a daughter that came out of my past, which is, you know, just because you're done with sin doesn't mean that sin may be not done with you. So your past will tend to folly, which I learned the other day.

But if you hadn't been a godly man for the last 40-something years and mom hadn't really forgiven you 45 years ago, then when this moment came up with Phyllis, this would have been a disaster. It's disaster every day. But think about John 7.5. Here's an obscure passage. I'm sure most of our listeners, they probably never noticed that his brothers didn't believe. Because from Acts 1 on, they did believe. So that transformation, that evidence physically that there is a God, which I think that's a pretty strong evidence. Why did they go from not believing to believing, along with all the other disciples?

Why do they go from running to dying for him? but we still see that same evidence in life transformations through the spiritual resurrection. So Jesus is what saves you. Look, he's God. He is salvation. He died, was buried and resurrected to prove it. But you can still reenact that on earth by repairing these relationships because it now gives you a point of reference. Oh, forgiveness on a cross of Jesus and resurrection a new life.

It's amazing how it's going to happen physically, but it also happens through faith, spiritually on the planet. And what does it do? It repairs relationships. And in the end, look, some people that still, some people are going to see Jesus and turn him down. And I hate it for them. And I always tell people that have children, that are adult children, and leave the way they were taught, is you want to still do your best to have as good relationship as you can.

And obviously, sometimes you have to have a hard talk. Dad had a hard talk with me. We all had a hard talk with Jeff because two out of your five children were prodigals. We went our own way for a while. But you have to trust God in that, too, that they'll come back. I got it because I'd been there. You'd been there. So you weren't overly, you gave me this straight talk.

You said, look, you can't stay here and live this way in our house. But if you got to go see, you got to go see. And so I went. And it took me about two years to figure out, you know what? I don't want to live like this. This is terrible. Well, but out, even then you had it. It kind of motivated you when the guy had the tire to.

Well, that's what I was going to say. You had a near-death experience. Correct. Which, what does that do? Lead you to thinking about the resurrection of Jesus. And how great family is. The purpose, if you, you know, very seldom do we say this whole podcast had a purpose, but it really does if no matter what you're going through with a family member,

what you've got to figure out how to do is get them to see that what you're, Jesus did on a cross and the resurrection. You repackage that every conceivable way known to man and say, because somehow another, it may click with them. Ms. Kay said some people are saying that you're a hypocrite when they got the news about your daughter because you were a sinful man before you run up on Jesus and didn't change your way. So you're a hypocrite now for saying, we should, we should leave from something.

in, but they say, yeah, who are you telling me? And look at your life, so I don't have the, I can't say anything. You should say what I said. In a way, we're all hypocrites for Jesus. That's exactly right. And guess what? He uses this anyway. The difference in me in a real hypocrite is because I'm honest about it.

Is you saying? Yep, sure do. And God still uses me. Yep. Don't let my mistakes keep you from going to heaven. That'd be stupid. And the reason. I've been trying to make up from my past the last 45 years.

You say, you never make it up. You just, you learned to say, that's what I told my son. For your mercy, because I certainly needed it. You know what I always say? You can never pay it back. You can only pay it forward. I mean, you can't, look, the grace of God that saved all three of us and our families,

we can't pay that back. That's why he said, that's why in that Romans 13, I read about law enforcement, leave no debt left outstanding. Pay your debt. That's right. Except there's one you never. The continuing debt.

who loved one another. That's the pay for it. That you owe to your fellow man. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it is true, well. It is. Well, I've been trying to live that out for the last, now I'm in my 70s now. Old age is creeping in. But look at the legacy that we're building, which is a blessing.

So thank you guys again. We hope this has been helpful, especially for some of you with situations that we talked about. So don't give up, be patient. Continue to trust and live it out. So we're so glad you guys were with us today. You can subscribe on iTunes or Spotify or YouTube or Facebook. And be sure and rate us on iTunes so that other people can know about the podcast.