Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #002 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... This episode is bought to you by Manscaped, Express VPN & Blue Chew....  Go to www.manscaped.com and enter CODE: NOSEPUBES for 20% off! Go to www.expressvpn.com/church for 3 Months FREE! Go to www.bluechew.com and enter CODE: CHURCH for your 1st Shipment Free! The Mind of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

greetings from podcastville cocksuckers it's uncle joey's joint it's Wednesday well it's Thursday the 8th of motherfucking October rest in peace mr. running let me explain some to you uncle joey's joint is brought to you by manscaped listen to scientists over at manscape that released their first nose hair trimmer I do not have mine because it's still boxed up somewhere but when I unwack it I will take it out it's called the weed wacker everybody's doing video calls right now and I got to tell you the only thing that the camera's picking up are the spider legs that are sticking out of your nose even my

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press encode church just pay file and shipping and again that's blue blue like the color of the dick veins that's gonna be popping out when you hit that blue chew dog and thank you for continuing to sponsor our show so the show is brought to you by Manscaped blue chew and Express VPN let's let the fucking candle and get this party started what's happening you bad motherfuckers Uncle Joey here Thursday October the 8th it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive thank you very much for watching the first show and supporting us it's a great week so far I'm very sorry for Eddie Van Halen fans that was it was fucked up for

me I'll tell you because I don't know I just felt like the same day I felt I felt the same way I felt the day Randy Rhodes died I still remember getting picked up in 1982 to go out and there was no internet then and my friends are like Randy Rhodes died it's so weird how you don't know somebody like I don't know Randy Rhodes I didn't know Eddie Van Halen I never met Eddie Van Halen I saw him one time where I used to buy weed in Studio City I saw him but I don't say nothing the people I remember fucking business and that's the only time I saw him I saw him in 78 or 79 opening up for Black Sabbath and then I saw him one

other time in the fucking 80s and they were truck fucking mendice and if you don't believe me that video I played this morning will let you know how strong of a fucking band Van Halen was in 1981 39 fucking years ago they were as strong as fucking death on stage and say whatever you want about David Lee Roth I never said he was the best thing to have but when he was up there doing when he was on that motherfucker was on but when I'm talking about David Lee Roth we're talking about Eddie Van Halen and I'm very sorry to allow this a ton of Van Halen fans I know that would ask this day one you know as soon as I heard the

news I called my buddy Guy Tabasko because there's no bigger Van Halen fan than that guy the poor bastard so I called him up my other buddy Timmy you know and they were hurting you know people hurt man especially now things hurt a little bit more during this COVID because you have more time to think about it like I went as soon as I I found out he died I had a play date anyway with Jimmy Florentine's kids and a bunch of his friends and my daughter and even Jimmy was like in shock I know he did something for Sirius Radio last night for Ozzie's Boneyard they did like some type of memorial from whatever that you

know Eddie Van Halen was just fucking revolutionary if you don't know about him I mean I know you guys love Guns N' Roses and Joe Perry on Errol Smith I love a bunch of guitar players but I got to tell you something you know when it comes to fucking Van Halen I'm gonna tell you a little secret when I was a kid and I started going out to concerts and shit like that they would tell you don't even worry about the opening band don't even worry about the opening band we were from North Bergen, New Jersey so we had till 8 30 to get to the garden that means we could leave a fucking quarter to eight you know get the bus

into the city walk from the port authority to the garden in fucking ten minutes for van when Van Halen went on tour with Sabbath I'm gonna I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you the only album from Sabbath I had at the time was fucking paranoid I didn't know anything about black Sabbath I just went on a fucking whim some guys from my neighbor were going and they said do you want to come and I was like what the fuck I'm not doing nothing here and they said wait till you see the opening fucking act and I'll tell you guys when I got there I don't know how fucking old that was I was young but they blew me the

fuck away and I was into Led Zeppelin and into all that shit listen it was hard to walk out of there and not recognize the talent that was Eddie fucking Van Halen so for you Van Halen guys do what I did last night I just listened to everything last night my wife went out so when I got back at like eight o'clock I took a shower I watched my pussy I ate some dinner I smoked a fucking number and then I just started from one I started from Van Halen eruption and it was fucking tremendous and then I went out to Van Halen two women and children first 1984 is a spectacular album the one diver down is

men's amort I don't know what the other one is but then fucking fair warning is a fucking monster and I posted two songs this morning from fair warning just cuz it's just a monster fucking album you know listen man when we were kids guy to basketball the next door to me and his brother Mike were big Van Halen fans and we would torture him like just torture him especially I got mad at Van Halen after they put the David Lee poster up in the middle of him with chains on and the fucking women and children first that's when Van Halen lost me as a band but I was always another Van Halen fan as a band they

lost me because of David Lee rough getting tied up I didn't like that too much at the time I'm a Catholic you know I'm saying it's not like I'm a boy scouts right now they're trying to fucking get people to sue the boy scouts you're in no danger these people don't fuck remember these people don't fuck remember every night I'm watching TV they're running an ad have the boy scouts molesting you let me let me think well I'll tell you my story with the fucking boy scouts I was I wanted to be a boy scouting to get across the streets of Boy Scout I felt like torturing the other day but I couldn't say nothing to him

he's a boy scout you know he's a weeblow I was a weeblow for one fucking day and I could tell you one thing he was in the back of a church in Union City it was across the street from the four-star diner I don't know what the name of that church is but there's a theater next to that church that George Crawlander an HBO special in but that church behind there they used to have like Sundays or Saturdays you could become a boy scout and you know me I'm a fucking nerd I fell in love with the patches and I was a kid I love patches so they give me a patch for everything to lighten the match for cleaning your ass for rubbing

two sticks together the whole thing by the end of the week you got 19 fucking patches I went to one fucking meeting and I knew it wasn't for me I knew those motherfuckers were creepy and at that time I was hanging out with book B you know my mom had the bar so I was like two blocks from my mother's bar I walked into that boy scout then and you could smell the fucking sperm and the abuse in there you can smell it and they were teaching us how to do knots and they were looking at you weird now all these people you see today fucked up people from the 70s the boys gots fucked them up the Catholic church and I'll tell you

who else doctors they used to before this COVID I forgot because they checked me at the moment and now your temperature when you walk into a building they put that thing in your head like oh you're 98 whatever the fuck I grew up in the 70s bitch what the mama that went up your ass none of you motherfuckers remember that shit your mom will put Vaseline at the moment and stick it up your ass well you think there's so many fucking gay people today because they all get back they all get the fucking what do you call that shit like when you go to Vietnam and fucking you get flashbacks of the thermometer that's why everybody

got a flashback on the thermometer I look at the moment and I think of it going up my ass and I freaked the fuck out how was that allowed in the 60s and 70s that they would just put in a jar Vaseline and stick up your ass and your mom would stare at you like like you know when you're sitting there like a fucking asshole with a thermometer up your ass looking around the room your six or seven you're like what what I do to deserve this I'm a Catholic I go to church I put a dollar in the basket why is there a fucking thermometer in my fucking asshole you understand me so when you see like 50 year olds like me

they're a little fucked up and they get they turn gay like when they're 48 it all goes back to the fucking thermometer I'm telling you right now that the thermometer in the ass was not good so that's who you should be selling the fucking suit the fucking doctors who put it the moment up your ass that's the point and the boys got stewed they were creepy too and the Catholic church that bunch of creeps too I'm a Catholic but that don't mean I go to church and hang out with those motherfuckers because when you go to churches become more like a fucking social thing now people don't go to church because of necessity or they

feel the love of God not that I'm religious or anything you know me dog I fly by the seat of my pants there is a God I don't know what color he is he could be Chinese he could be Muslim I don't fucking know but I know we have a higher power how do I know because I'm fucking here that's how I know I wouldn't be here if there wasn't a higher power somebody looked over me so I don't even know how we got on this conversation what my point is that the fucking Catholics I hold on I gotta do a fucking hitter listen just because we can't smoke weed don't mean we have another situation you ever see these things huh you live in

California you haven't seen these I'm the New Jersey what the fuck do you people think you're dealing with just cuz I'm in Jersey I think I lost a step go fuck yourself I got 30 a day wherever I'm standing marijuana is legal take that in your pipe and smoke it and if that ain't enough for you look at this I got this little fucking thousand milligram spray this is the best right here oh yeah you got a fucking slide this over and this gets the fucking party started what's this I'm gonna show you motherfuckers how I'm having fun bitches cuz you like Joey you're not smoking don't worry about

me I fucking lit myself on fire this morning let's see what we got here you gotta go like this you got to press it and then slide this motherfucker over but once you do that you're in business here you understand me I don't want to squirt myself in the fucking eyeball give a squirt yourself in the eyeball with THC juice you're fucking done for a week you rather have somebody coming your eye you ever jerk off and leave alone your finger them rub your eye I'll our lady you're walking around like a fucking move the law you got that red eye and shit you're becoming your girlfriend's anyway doesn't matter

none of my business anyway none of my business fucking anyway so where was I here I think we're just gonna stick with the fucking asthma thing oh look at this one bam you take this you go like this you go like this you open this motherfucker up see now I can't cuz my hands all fucking greasy I'm one of those greasy Spanish people you know I'm saying god damn it this is tremendous you go like this you open this motherfucker up what's in there a little breast strip cock sucker how do you put it down thousand milligrams spray ah what fucking thing you're dealing with you're sitting there going joey that's

smoking weed no more don't worry about me just worry about yourself all right you got that such square to knock yourself the fuck out with it I don't give a fuck what you do don't come to me we got that a can your eyeballs the fucking purple me I'm smoking primo weed I'm trying to stay healthy I'm riding my bike I'm lifting weights I'm eating good and most importantly I'm fucking sleeping that was killing me before now I'm sleeping I'm in bed nappy new new time last night was a late night 1230 but I was walking around a fucking seven look at your timeline on Twitter whatever I was walking around a fucking

seven why cuz I don't fuck around you gotta get up early I don't give a fuck there's COVID you don't have to get up I'm working from home who gives a fuck get up you're getting lazy every fucking day get up get up take a shower make your bed wash your pussy write in your journal drink your coffee smoke a joint go for a walk then you fucking sit your fucking fat ass on a computer because it's not you'll be sitting there all fucking day like a monkey go out get a little vitamin D put a smile on your face listen to the podcast take a walk then go back to your fucking desk sit only for like an hour an hour and a half

that's it cuz I'm not your back will be on fire tell all those zoom motherfuckers to go fuck yourself in 20 years we're gonna be zoomed up you're gonna see eyeballs are gonna be like the guy from kung fu let me his pupils well fucked up because we're gonna be fucking zoomed up don't don't fucking do that shit you listen I would love to have guests but I fucking hate zoom if I have to do it like for Ryan sickler or my brother's Brendan or I do for them but I don't want to do a fucking zoom with nobody and zoom is gonna kill you fucking eyes I'm telling you in 20 years we're gonna remember this people gonna have a

zoom eyes watch you're gonna hear that statement in 20 years I am zoom eyes from looking at zoom and fucking dying people dying on FaceTime all that shit fucks you up you don't need to watch that shit the news zoom none of that how do we even get on this conversation I have no fucking idea it doesn't matter it's fucking Thursday you know tonight I gotta get on stage so I'm a little rushed up that's what it probably is today I'm getting on stage and Uncle Vinny's down there and fucking point pleasant eight o'clock I'm just doing my 40 I don't even have eight you know I'm saying you think you got problems you

think you got problems like you had to cut the cable I got problems I gotta do 40 I only got eight so I gotta go up there tonight and fucking just go up the top of my head have I done it before fucking all the time do I feel like doing it no I wish I had more material but the only way I'm gonna have my material is by trying it on stage I got a couple things written out I wrote out some stuff last week I wrote out some stuff the week before tonight we'll put it together we'll just throw shit out there and see what we get it just gonna be a nice little stew that's all I got for you right now I ain't ready for

fucking $30 tickets I wouldn't do that to nobody nobody deserves to do that shit right now go to a fucking driving and pay all this fucking money and sit next to some guy you you're fucking smelling combustion and shit like that I try to avoid covideal situations okay they call covideal situations eight people covideal situation this is inside he's got it down to 40 people I'm gonna tell him to push it back 10 because you know I spit when I talk as it is that's all you need is corona in your eyeball because I'll spit that's what we do we do comedy you're up there and you're fucking talking and you're getting excited I

spit even when I just talk to people they'll get a fucking spit in the eye from time to time I'm sorry people always used to tell me give me the news not the weather I've always been that fucking dude but you know tonight I want it controlled if I see something I don't like the lights get fucked because I'm not in business to try to get anybody sick that's why I don't like all this shit they call covideal situations and I'm watching people I'm watching all the clubs so they're open and forcing people and trust me people getting sick they're just not tracing it back I'm watching all these covideal situation

cocksuckers wait till they come back I'm gonna all put them in check and I got to charge them a little extra just because they made money during COVID I want some of that money I was sitting at home relaxing so if you're gonna make an offer for me you better make it heavy because I'm coming in heavy that's it you've been open fucking giving people COVID with your fucking watered down drinks cocksuckers now uncle Joey's coming I want some of that money you made during COVID so get ready I ain't fucking around with you motherfuckers I'm gonna work out this month I got a movie in November December is gonna be too

cold to do dick nobody knows that there's gonna be marches COVID might be back I think the country will be locked down again by December I hope not God forbid hopefully I'm a fucking idiot and I'm wrong but I think once the first kid fucking sneezes they're gonna lock they're gonna start locking shit down I know today for a fact they're locking down parts in New York City some businesses are shutting down today in New York City like some parts of Brooklyn or something don't quote me but I know was today effective the 7th so it's numbers are starting to spark up again should that fucking bother you do I want you to be

scared and do I look like fucking that cocksucker and ABC news that just scare you the whole time every fucking TV show news show has become they're like Vincent Price you know the voice before thriller everybody you every news watch the news 15 minutes in your heart's beating like you're fucking getting chased by three Puerto Ricans I don't need that in my life and near do you near the I've been a lot a lot happier since I don't look at Dave Visser no more on ABC World News tonight I've been a lot fucking happy look at me I'm just happy why cuz I don't give a fuck it's like this podcast right now

let me explain something to you I ordered a lazy boy I'm not getting it for two months I ordered a fucking generator for the house I'm not getting it till February my buddy bought a house he can't even get appliances for his fucking house he can't move in he they told him trick-or-treat he was gonna have a trick or treat at his fucking house whatever Halloween he's not gonna be able to move into fucking January okay we were having the same problems with max with cameras you know getting electricians here doing so we kept it as simple as it is an iPhone I like four walls me you and this is all we need if you guys are

looking for a fancy studio or for a you know oh my god if go fuck yourself this is just communication this is just us trying to make each other feel better this is all this is don't sit there and pinpoint stupid fucking shit you know yes I get 50 emails where's Lee leaves him no walkie when I had Lee you were emailing me that I'm an abler that I'm giving them drugs on you making a meat cheeseburgers everybody you're an abler I'm not a fucking abler there's not a booze all over here you want to do me do if you don't go fuck yourself you know me and we always got the lights on because you never know what is speedy

those models are around here so what was I talking about who the fuck knows anyway Uncle Vinny's yeah I got no fucking material so if you have no material why would you put yourself in that position for you people who keep emailing me about parks casino there's no parks casino it's canceled till next year I was gonna go I was gonna opt out for the fucking be in line garden but only seats 50 if I'm going to Philly I want to see all you motherfuckers am I right on my row I'm going to Philadelphia I got to come with three guns so why go to Philly to see 50 people I go to Philly I want to see

three thousand maybe motherfuckers that's one of my favorite places in the fucking world a cheese steak in 3000 Philadelphians it don't get no better than that shit right there so Philly will push it till next year I try to do some shows down there there's a punchline that's open as things go on or whatever I miss you you know I love you it's nothing personal we're just in the middle of a fucking pandemic and there's nothing you can do about it and there's the same shit with what was going on I'm trying to explain to you about the podcast how much longer did you want me to sit on my hands for I have

to wait for a thousand things fuck it this is as simple as communication as can be this is it if you don't like it I don't know what the fuck to tell you Eddie Van Halen is dead and I don't feel so good myself okay so go fuck yourself at least we're trying to put it together here at least we're trying for you people these were trying it's better than not giving you nothing what are you gonna do send you a can in the fucking mail and get strings and we could all talk like little fucking idiots this is the best way to go right here we got each other I know you're feeling down and you're going through a lot of shit

you don't think I answer my patreon messages I read those messages a lot of people going through a hard time right now especially 19 to 20 like three year old you guys are in hell right now my heart goes out to you I remember being 19 I was confused and there's a dumb fuck this can be I can't imagine a pandemic fucking holding you down you got to sit at home and fucking I can't imagine so my heart goes out to you guys but don't give up now is not the time to give up so you guys were raised in an era where they gave you a medal for showing up and it fucked you guys up you guys don't know how to act now because

it was just acceptable to show up no you got to do something it's not just gonna happen life just doesn't happen especially during a fucking pandemic I'll tell you that much if you don't go out there and grab it go check with your friends in LA if you're living in Los Angeles call around they're robbing people in Wildland Hills they're robbing people in North Hollywood and what they're gonna do is they're gonna create a circle and just close that fucking valley and so if you live in Sherman Oaks right now I'd be looking for options I'd be getting knives darts fucking shooting stars I'd be getting that I'd be

getting ready to kill a motherfucker if you live in Sherman Oaks right now because they're gonna surround you I don't even know how we got to this conversation but anyway again that's a great thing about reefer it takes you the way you need to go just a different direction do you know I'm saying like you ever go on waves with that what's that wave shit I love waves because it always makes you take the longer way on the way back you're like why did you make me go all the way around if I'm gonna just shot straight up the fucking road here this wave is taking the two other fucking cities and then it takes

you back to where the fuck you got to go I want the straight line cocksuck and that's what I'm trying to do here a straight line a fucking communication especially you 19 to 21 22 year olds listen to me get a book read write help your parents do whatever you can you're lost how do I know because I was fucking lost at 1920 you're basically fucking retarded I was I was fucking retarded let's say 81 84 I was 21 years old I could look you guys straight in the face and tell you I was retarded I didn't have no concept I know how to hustle I know how to steal I know how to do bad things but I had no concept on

how life worked and I would came back to bite you in the ass I had no concept about hard work I had no intention to do an hard work you know I thought that the bluebird of happiness is just gonna show up and give me a check once a month because my friends are rich it don't work that way it don't work that way I had the idea down patreon send me a message I'm 21 I've been busting my hump and everybody's moving around me everybody's moving up around me what do you expect you're 20 fucking one you got to work you got to get started you got what I've been working for six months and nothing's happened what do

you think's gonna happen in six months that's what's gonna happen in six months that's what happens in six months a year that's what happens in six and a year I've been doing it for a year and a half that's your year and a half you got to do it and you got to do it well do it with love and do it with fucking passion no okay how the fuck do you think I got it you think I got it because Rogan made fun of you but Rogan helped you out sure he did he called Adam Sandler sure he did he called the guy from spider-man 2 oh yeah he called David Chase too and got me in that you dumb fucks no you got to put the fucking

working you got to put the hustling you got a show I used to outwork the agent how the fuck there's a fucking client outwork the agent that's what you need to do a lot of people sign with an agent like my agent ain't doing nothing no you're not doing nothing you're sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring when I have an agent that motherfucker gets tortured tortured I have an agent they got them for years I was torturing agents from 97 to 2010 I wasn't because I would find out about jobs I would call them and go what are you doing on this what are you talking about call this fucking guy and tell them

that this and they would look at me like what are you talking about you got to call them well I'll send them a headshot headshot ain't gonna fucking work look at my face nobody's gonna hire me call them and tell them I'm a fucking savage and I would go to their office and make them call them call them call them because if you don't I will I'm gonna drop the package all I think I got those movies you think I got them because of my looks no I got them because I fucking how it worked the other guy it was I was not gonna let it happen you're not gonna let it happen that's how you it's not gonna happen on

your fucking watch if you want something if you want a Netflix special you have to zero in on that motherfucker you want to make more money doing whatever the fuck you're doing you got to revamp it you got a zero in on that motherfucker and what I mean zero win is I'll give you an example you could either have ten mediocre podcast or one really good one you ever think about that you could be a part of eight fucking podcast that nobody knows about or put all your effort into one good one and put everything you got into that listen man I don't know about this joint shit but I know what I did the church the reason

why you people are watching the joint is because you know one thing about me I left my soul on the fucking table I didn't sell my soul I gave you my fucking soul I gave it to you so you understood where I was coming from so after any anything after I gave you my soul any word that will come out you would understand what I'm saying and you would understand what my heart was I've said a thousand fucking horrific things on that podcast but I laughed at because to me they're funny it's just words they're not actions they're just words you're just saying shit that's that's why I don't understand censorship I never will

because they're just words when I did Mafia 3 somebody got offended because I said the word faggot they had a call a crisis team man for this poor little lesbian who had lights in her head I don't know why she was a very sweet lady I'm not saying that she was a bad lady or whatever but she got that upset because I said the word faggot if you get upset over the word faggot you got to give yourself a fucking break you got to go for a walk you got to get some roller skates you got to do something with your fucking life and that's what's going on right now people are getting offended by fucking words and now you want to

censor me you know what chances you got a censoring me none because you could take away my sponsors you could take away YouTube you could take away whatever the fuck you want guess what I'm still gonna get to you I'm still gonna get a way to get to you I'll find the fucking way even if I got to go in front of your house and throw newspapers at you I don't give a fuck I've delivered newspapers for years so when you want something you go for it I don't give a fuck you can't take nothing away from me that's what these people understand they tried three months ago four months ago where you said this on the Rogan podcast that what

are you talking about have you ever been fucking done a podcast with other comics and you're trying to lay in your material in there and you even slip shit in like that you're not even thinking about what are you talking about they're just words if you get offended at words it's time for you to take a deep look into your fucking heart and see what the fuck is going on it's not about words now if I come over the house and hit you with a stick that's an action if I fucking run over your fucking dog that's an action there's a problem if I smack your wife in the face that's a fucking action that's a problem we have to send

to that we had to throw that motherfucking jail but words give me a fucking breather why not what are you doing with your fucking life let's throw a fucking let's throw a fucking there you go cock suckers and you thought it was just gonna be a whole hum fucking Thursday weren't you the fuck wrong it's Uncle Joey bitches we're here with queer what the fuck do you want from me I'm here trying to put the pieces together every day tomorrow by the time you guys watch this I don't know how you're gonna find I'm gonna be feeling terrible tomorrow depending on my performance tonight or whatever maybe I'll get COVID tonight I

be coughing and shit I have a white eye I have a zoom mind whatever the fuck I don't know but I'm gonna just I'm excited about getting on stage tonight 20 I didn't know what was going on with me and I gotta tell you something guys I don't care about the numbers you know a couple of my friends call me this is the podcast didn't even matter to me you know what mattered to me how I felt ever since I did that podcast on Sunday I've been a complete different person completely different person that's what was missing from my life my anxiety is down my fear is down I got my balls back listen man your balls go away from

time to time you know every once in a while fear fucking wins it really does but at the end of the day you have nothing to be fearful about COVID three four days you drink some fucking juice don't lay on your back take the shit they gave fucking Trump I smoke the shit they gave Trump you know I'm saying but it's the strain has been mutated right now you're not gonna die you're gonna be a little sick listen I got underlying conditions but everybody's got a bunch of fucking problems so it's like shooting a game of fucking dominoes it's the same fucking thing so the fear is gone the fear has been gone

the anxiety I had of moving that's gone last night I witnessed my daughter went seven other fucking kids eight of the kids playing on the fucking street I nearly fucking cried I wanted to fucking cry because in California I couldn't get one fucking play date to show up here in New Jersey we had nine kids over there yesterday and then like five of them went home for dinner and four of them stayed we ordered a fucking pizza over there Jimmy Florentines and then they fucking were going down a dark hill in like an electronic fucking car till eight o'clock at night going back and forth

thank God my wife went out last night because she didn't know that I had her out the fucking eight o'clock going up and down why because she needs to go out you need these kids need the fucking get social skills in California right now my kid would have been a mess if I would have made this move my kid wouldn't have made it out of this that March to fucking July staying in it wasn't working and I tell you I could entertain you guys I can entertain an audience but a fucking seven-year-old I don't have the physical capabilities to do it anymore you know we ride a bike you ever play with a ball my daughter you want to

stick the bat up your fucking ass ten times because she always hits the ball to the opposite side you got to go get it you play with a ball my daughter for now you're fucking done you're fucking done people like oh you're looking so thin yeah cuz I'm playing with my kid all fucking day that's a fucking night man my wife lost seven pounds sure but emotionally she couldn't handle it like she needed kids her age she needed young kids older kids yesterday that there was six boys and she was playing basketball and they were pushing on her dog she got hit with a whiff of boy yesterday guess what she didn't fucking

cry she looked at me I and I looked at I didn't say nothing I expected her to cry she didn't cry she's learning if you cry in front of fucking six boys they'll fucking eat you up alive so last now when we got home I talked to them I said next time you play basketball with the boys you did a great job I think she even scored one fucking basket I go we talked about defense to look at that midsection because they could fake you with their eyes or their head just to focus on the midsection when you play in defense and to keep your arms out for the ball and I told her that when you go in for rebounding to go in jump up with

the boys and if they elbow you you elbow them because that's how you gain respect there's a woman is walking into that fucking circle and banging it out with them and there was her and some other little girl playing still a little girl had fucking glasses she's so cute she's five years old she was in the circle playing with them and that's what it's all about they knocked it down they hit it with a wiffle ball you see me man no that's what I wanted I didn't want some fucking kid that was allergic to fucking peanuts and oh he's got ADD you know they got nothing they got nothing they're getting taught on a fucking

computer right now but these kids are all fucked up so on the other hand you gotta fucking give more the love and attention you can if you have a child right now nannies aren't gonna work right now you got to be on your kid especially if they're sitting on a computer all fucking day thank God my daughter goes to school twice a week thank God next week is one day because it's Jewish holiday Monday but the following week it's four fucking days listen if it lasts a month I'll be surprised but I don't give a fuck you know why because we got enough kids in this neighborhood for me to take her out

and play with other people I've made friends with a couple of dads a grandpa across the street and their kids come over here and they go in the yard Mercy goes into a yard I'm in a different fucking situation you don't seem to understand it wasn't about comedy it wasn't about the comedy store it was it was about my family and what was best for them you know at 29 I wouldn't have given a fuck I was stupid in LA slinging dick fucking smoking dope snorting coke I would have snorted COVID now now you're fucking crazy they shot a guy last weekend not even a mile from my door the no-hold diner the fucking

school St. Paul's the school the preschool that my daughter went to they broke into that they stole the kids bicycles they stole the kids bicycles they have those three-wheeler little fucking bicycles for little kids they have like kind of them they stole the bicycles that's how bad is my neighborhood right now my ex-neighborhood my old neighborhood so you don't think I'm fucking happy when I heard all that shit listen I feel for my friends that's still left in California I feel for Dean Delray I feel for a lot of those guys I know a lot of those guys are planning on leaving I know a lot of guys that just

sitting there waiting because they think while the comics gonna leave and we're gonna take over the scene but it looks the California there's not gonna be a scene left you don't need some fucking fat fucking felon to tell you that you could see it for yourself if you live in California they're not allowing live performances they're not allowing anything it's like New York City right now they're not allowing it there's a couple clubs that's still open I'm not gonna mention their name they're really banging it out and I don't blame them but they're in an area that's not dangerous in New York Jersey's wide open they're

doing comedy outside here backs are flying you know rich bosses out there far I think riches up in Connecticut this week if you're in the Mohegan Sun area go see him up there I think my man Jimmy Florentine is in Akron, Ohio I wanted a club's there one night go check him out you know people starting to travel me I'm gonna sit close to the house right now I don't want to get on any planes I'm still gonna work this fucking comedy thing out I'm still gonna keep writing and I'm gonna stick it out with this podcast and once we get all this stuff we'll move it out to the bar or we'll

keep it right here the only thing that matters is that we reach out reach out to each other once a week we continue to fucking do this podcast twice a week whatever and if you want to come on patreon come on patreon I got to raise the tears I got to change it all around and it's not greed or anything like that it was a recommendation from patreon my manager is tight with the fucking prez and blah blah blah so we're doing three five and ten I think 15 there's Merchant Bob we're waiting on the final design of the mind of Joey Diaz which is basically all the crimes I've done and all the wrongs I've done and what turned

it around was love that's the mind of Joey Diaz so the shirt's gonna be some type of brain something like that I'll keep you posted I'll show it to you whatever the fuck you want to do I'm also ordering a hundred hoodies this is what I'm doing I'll a Puerto Rican again we can't get no more patches why because they're made in China so we had to go through a new manufacturer for the patches and it's gonna take like four fucking months so I don't have four months for you people and I'm getting your emails that you want merch and I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do I'm gonna make a special collection hoodie

thing I'm gonna put them up soon I'll let you know it's only gonna be a hundred and I'm gonna write the number with a magic marker on the side one two three they're gonna be fucking signed by me so it's gonna be a number and a fucking signature and then whatever the fuck you want to do it if you want to wipe your ass with it if you want to light it on fire if you want to give it to your girlfriend whatever the fuck you want to do you can have one there's only gonna be a hundred and they're gonna go quick I'm doing that because people have been asking me for autographs and whatnot so I just said we'll do it simple this is a

simplest way to do it you get yourself a sweatshirt I'll let you know when my wife will put it up I'll tweet it out there's a hundred fucking hooded sweatshirts numbered from one to a hundred and I'll tell you that you're a church savage whatever you want to use a lot of you care if you don't want it or not I do not care all I care about is that you guys are doing well that you're happy that you hear my voice and that you know everything is gonna be all right this will pass things cannot stay like this forever this was just a little lesson to us to smack us around I mean this never happened in my lifetime

before I'm 57 years old I've never seen this before so if you're 31 or 32 or 22 and you're scratching your fucking head I've never seen this or lived through something like this before so this is new to me also what I will tell you is this will pass I've had shitty times in my life I've had really shitty times in my life you've been in prison on Christmas day and don't feel good don't feel right even though you have friends and you're giggling and you're eating another butters it's still Christmas and you're in a fucking prison so things will pass I promise you that with all my heart that a year from now hopefully

we'll be laughing at this are you is it gonna be a vaccine is it just gonna disappear is it just gonna go away I don't have those answers for you I'm not a fucking scientist you know everybody's waiting for a vaccine well vaccines gonna come are you gonna go down there and be the first one to fucking take it shut the fuck up shut the fuck up so I don't even take a coat or flu vaccine I don't believe in a flu vaccine my wife and my daughter doing every fucking six months they're sniffling so what's the fucking difference anyway you toughen it out I got I built my fucking whatever from fucking going on planes for 20

fucking years my immune system today I lift weights I drink water I walk a little bit you know I ride the bike I hit the bag that's how you build your immune system you know I haven't been around a lot of people that's what scares me right now about tonight but I haven't been around 30 40 people you know so there's no greet greet meets you know the club doesn't want responsibility for it we don't want nobody to get sick so we're gonna end the show I'm gonna walk out and that's it and once this thing clears off do do meet and greets I'll let you rub my balls whatever the fuck you want to do

I'll let you that's gonna be a new option during once we go back on the road next year I'm getting a little older you're not gonna see my balls anymore you've been seeing them for 20 years so I'll let you like touch them or sniff them whatever the fuck you want just a joke it's a joke people I'm not gonna let nobody sniff my balls my balls smell fucking horrible how do I know because I live with them sometimes I could smell them through the sweatpants you've been fucking right and you can smell your nuts that's when you know it's time for a fucking shot what hasn't happened in a while but I know for a fact from time to

time you're out there sweating right in your bike you go back inside you start writing and all of a sudden you get that hint the fucking ball that's straight and look what you got the crop preserver I think it even says it on there it's a fucking nut washer there it keeps you nice and beautiful that's man scape they ain't fucking around over that man scape concept is they take good fucking carry it just in case your nuts stink I don't know it's none of my business I used to use it you know what's good for nuts stink some Izzy vaginal scrub it's what women use on their monkeys you take that and put it on your nuts sack and

you wash it with a loofa oof oof oof a woman on each sunglasses to look at your fucking balls you understand me they're nice and shiny you fucking get that man scape you shave your balls and then you buff them out like a bowling ball with a towel like a fucking with like a fucking you ever have a bowling ball none of you motherfuckers and I have a bowling ball polisher you get like a little one you use like a like one of those face masks you like just take an old face mask and just take your nut sack and bounce them back that's like that's what you do people don't know this shit people don't know this shit

they don't put two and two together that's what you're doing you keep your that I do it every ever since this coronavirus I figured out you get one of those little masks you just get your balls and jiggle them in there and it keeps them tight you spray a little this is the refresher but they have another one that I still got that they don't make it tight your balls it doesn't make it look like an elbow no more it makes it look slick and then you put the vaginal scrub on it and it gets it that shine you know I'm saying women you have to tell a before you suck my dick put your sunglasses on because if the sun gets

you you're gonna go blind you know I'm saying fuck the little rice off of people you got a fucking wash up we're here with queer cock suckers it's uncle joey's joint coming direct that year on a beautiful Thursday afternoon the 8th of October today's the anniversary of my one of the guys that raised me his name was Rob running Robert running the family reunion I went a couple weeks ago I put the picture up he was the father of that family and today was his birthday we used to fucking rock and I always think about about him on this day like I love the guys so once I finish the podcast I'll fucking call the kids

remind them it's Bob's birthday today he used to fucking he was the best because when you came in at night when we come in at night we'd come at any time we had no fucking whatever the fuck you call it no curfew over that you came home when you came home but if you came home and you mingled in the kitchen within a couple of minutes you would hear this he'd be smoking in his room he'd let it sit on his room the lighter meant that he knew you came in he wanted you to know that he was up and he heard you come in so he would always work the lighter if you heard the lighter a second time that means you had a disperse

because that means you're talking too much in the kitchen and he can't go back to sleep once he would get up once you woke him up with the door he would light the one fucking cigarette but if he if you heard that second one the next one he would just come out and yell at you fucking hit you with a pot or whatever the fuck and tell you to go downstairs but I always remember him from just that fucking light of noise that was it that meant he knows your home we got to go downstairs and that's it and that's that motherfuckers you know saying I got things myself I got problems myself you guys think you're the only ones with

fucking problems don't let that be the case at all please don't let that be the case at all everybody's going through something right now financially emotionally psychologically right now is a tough time for everybody so please don't beat yourself up right now don't if you got moving to your mom's basement moving to your mom's basement that's what your fucking mom is there for witness she's there for just to stay I mean there's things you you have to do right now that you're doing that they're hard for you and I get it listen I had a fucking pick up my family you I wouldn't I never wanted to give up that

podcast office never never in my life that I want to give up that podcast office that office was perfect that office cost me 750 a fucking month 250 for fucking internet that I can fuck I could have lived in there I had a refrigerator a TV in there you could have lived in there taking a shower at the YMCA if you're smart you rent that office and fucking just live at the YMCA when I lived in Seattle that's what I did I rented an office it was about a quarter of a month no bathroom you had a bathroom but no shower I had a shit out the window and then take a shower at the gym but when you're a comic and you

want what you want you don't have that much money you make it work for you and that's what you have to do during these times of COVID you know the other day somebody said to me well something happened 14 million people watched the championships last year in the NBA and this year they only got four million people well think about how many people how to give up that their cable service think about how many people don't have time for fucking basketball no more that their lives changed your life has changed think about it my life has changed I can do two podcasts a week and maybe a couple other things but that's it why

because my daughter's home five days a week right now she's at the park that's the only reason why I'm able to do this I can't do this as her home be down here yelling and fucking the spray and fucking THC spray anyway it's time for another one who the fuck are you kidding what are you fucking nuts so what you thought I was sitting here like a monk in Jersey fuck you I'm smoking reefer with three hands having a good old fucking time I don't go nowhere the gym is right down the corner the supermarket is around the corner shop rights close to me there's a car valve I don't go I'm trying to fucking no diabetes

from the Joey Corona strong I don't want level two diabetes I'm just minding my business getting high at home I go for a walk and take a bike ride and smoke a joint so nobody needs to see me none of my neighbors see me there's a little fucking abandoned lot over there I may believe I'm taking a breather and drinking water what I'm really doing is banging out a fucking number that'll kill you and everything's taking care of right now my biggest concern is the emails I'm getting whether it's on Facebook Twitter fucking Instagram fucking patreon I'm getting some fucking sad emails they're very sad emails and listen

man I'm not a psychology major or nothing like that but I know what sadness is I know what confusion is I know what it is to want I know what it is to fucking you know I know what all those things are and just bear with me it's gonna get better when I don't fucking know if I knew that I wouldn't be here talking to you I'd be at the fucking track watching horses die as they bet him a horse is still dying I don't even know remember for a long time horses are dying I don't even know but we're gonna get through this you know you're having a hard time get a fucking notebook get closer to your family what do you think your

family is there for we think they're there for it just so you think your mother just spit you out of her asshole just so you could walk around with her on a biblical court no talk to them let them know how you feel one of the biggest things I did and we've been together for 20 years in March when I was going to the deepest feel like towards the end of March when I put on 14 fucking pounds from eating edibles and eating everything in the fucking house I figured out that I had to get closer with my wife or this was not gonna work this is not gonna work I had to eliminate whatever anger issues I had or

fears I had when I was in the house because I'm the fucking man in the house so if I appeared scared to them then they would be scared but I made a fucking commitment to myself that I was gonna work with my wife as a team during this we weren't gonna work against each other I wasn't gonna turn on her or anything and because of COVID we've gotten tighter I mean it surprised the fuck out of me I thought by now I would have stabbed my wife 18 times I loved my wife for everything I got and especially after my system law passed I see all my brothers going through now it makes me love my wife even more because

I appreciate them all you can't take these women for granted and I don't so whether you have a sister a brother a wife a girlfriend listen man this is not the time to be going to war with them it's not the time if somebody aggravates you then stay the fuck away from them but if somebody's your ally right now during this COVID period during this period of isolation and whatnot make them your fucking ally man whatever whatever split the sandwich pay for the sandwich whatever there's no reason to argue with your close people your brothers your family right now you need them now more than ever now you know how

efforts for family you know Bill Byrne this year is efforts for final I love fucking Bill Byrne efforts for this is it the quarantine is for family whatever you call it they don't have to be related to you get yourself a little quarantine family that you know that they're clean you're clean and that's who you talk I don't care if you'd like fucking Tim Allen if you talk through a fucking fence this is all you want to get through this you got a rap you got a rapper people you know how I know because it worked for me when I was going through my shit when I first landed here in Jersey I went to see the first

guy I went to see was guy to basketball on a Saturday night I just drove the fucking sequel office and we sat in his backyard and just rapping with it I remember I refused to take the mask off I refused to take the fucking mask off and after a while I was like what am I doing he's fucking social distance and I remember taking the mask off and I remember like shedding like 10 fucking pounds off my shoulders I was like whoof and then driving home I was a little paranoid but the next day I woke up no sore throat if you wake up and you throw feels like you suck a thousand cocks then maybe you were in the wrong fucking

area but every morning I wake up and there's no sore throat I'm like fuck I can't believe I didn't get COVID you know but rapping is what gets you through this you sitting there watching TV and watching watching the computer you know I don't somebody checked on me on patreon like hey man you don't post on the weekends no I don't post on the weekends and there's two reasons why number one I need my time off and number two I want you guys to take your time off that fucking internet you don't need to be on it Sunday night you go back on it just case somebody sent your message it's important for Monday but besides that I

want you out of the house I don't post on Saturday and Sunday and they do that for a reason not because I don't love you motherfuckers but it's because I don't want you to get computer fucking addicted get out of that fucking house it's too easy you could sell that computer from fucking hours like after this is over get up take a fucking hike after you watch this get up and take a fucking hike you know that's it take a hike then come back and then put on Burton and Bill and then take another hike and come back and put on JRE come back and listen to Lee's new podcast whatever the fuck you want to do Ozzie's

Boneyard but you can't sit on one an hour 15 minutes that's the fucking new rule from now on an hour 15 you go out for a little walk now in three weeks four weeks you're not gonna be able to do that right so let's do something different I'm gonna be able to go in another room maybe do 20 push-ups five such a 20 push-ups anything anything to get your mind off of what's going on right now is gonna be fucking great I'm excited that now we're together again I get to talk to you motherfuckers twice a week I get to answer your fucking emails and now we got a common ground again I was lost without you motherfuckers

if you want me to tell you the truth that's the truth that's why the anxiety is gone ever since I've done the podcast I'm done I feel a hundred percent better because you guys are handled I'm handled listen this is my therapy and for some of you guys this is your therapy I don't know why I don't know why I didn't ask for it this way I just wanted to talk shit for an hour and be funny and fucking get your mind off things but obviously it's become something different for you people so I'm here I'm here you can get to me I'm accessible if you email me on any other fucking things you know if you email me on

messenger on Facebook you don't see those motherfuckers for 20 years just message me at the fucking my Facebook whatever Joey Diaz whatever the fuck it is if you message me on Twitter on mad flavor I'm there Instagram my man Mikey one by one does that for me and if you're talking shit he don't even tolerate you he tells me he don't even tolerate you if you call him with something good or you got a problem with you yeah what we do you smoke until they were you kidding me how old are you we'll get a hat with a fucking propeller what we do you smoke what do you think I'm fucking smoking

ha thousand milligrams where'd I get it none of your fucking business do the math cock suckers and we also have the asthma inhaler for some of you talk suckers we don't fuck around here Uncle Joey's joint does not fuck around the difference between this and the church is the attitude I have had it with you motherfuckers not with you guys I love you guys with people I have had it especially those California people who want me to fuck out the debt I've had it so now I just tell you how it is direct that's just never gonna happen in my life again you know it just got a little too crazy the phone calls people acting

horrible no no no no no I got a little too out of control we're not doing that no more the game is different now I thought about what happened I analyzed it and we put a different game playing together so I'm not fucking around no more I'm not in the fucking mood I'm too fucking old I got a couple years of doing this shit I'm gonna enjoy it I'm gonna do it my way and I'm gonna have a good time and another thing is I'm not getting censored I don't give a fuck what you tell me or what I can't say I'm not joining no companies I don't give a fuck if you don't put me on your podcast I don't give a fuck how's that one for

you I'm too old to give a fuck and so the fuck are you if you're worried about a word you don't want to listen to this podcast money of the podcast or you got to worry about is your health your family and what type of friend you're being to your friends that's it everything else is background fucking music I talked to Lee twice a day you talk to Lee twice a day no twice a day call that he's up in Milwaukee told me yesterday start to get cold I said what do you expect things and you don't know he's he's gone from he's gone from Milwaukee to Buffalo to get a fucking COVID test and then he's gonna dip down to Boston

he doesn't know that the snow's gonna be behind them it's gonna be like a scene and fucking trains planes and automobiles when he's driving he's gonna be looking back and shit and like Led Zeppelin 2 is the fucking snowstorm he doesn't know he's driving across Michigan he goes maybe I'll drop down I'll drop down how down are you gonna fucking go what are you gonna go to Mexico and shoot back up to Boston you just gotta go across you gotta you gotta fucking go through Michigan then whatever's next to Michigan on the other side I think he's hitting all fucking penguin states he doesn't know it he's like it's gonna

be great no it's not if it's 30 degrees by you right now in Milwaukee what is it gonna be in three fucking weeks and what are you driving into Boston's already gonna get snow any fucking day now it's starting to get a little cold here not lying to you it's starting to get a little colder at night you could feel the temperature dropping at night but in the daytime the sun's still out today it's just a little windy you've heard the wind hit the fucking window a little bit it's just a little windy but up there is fucking real we're gonna get cold down here too this is a cold neighborhood you know Joe a bunch of

people were goofing that after the winter I moved to San Antonio wherever Texas let me tell you something Uncle Joey is prepared for the winter I did the toughest winters of my life here and then you motherfuckers forget I did another 12 winters in Colorado and those are winters I did the winter of 83 where it snowed 25 days on the road if you've been around 25 days in a row no so shut the fuck up I'm gonna be fine you get jacket you get some of that fucking long underwear a lot of hot cocoa with no sugar reefer and put a hooded sweatshirt on to keep the heat in you're gonna be tip-top fucking

Magoo and that's it and that's that for this segment of Uncle Joey's joint listen man I'm just happy to be doing this trust me I'm talking I'm happy to be helping whoever needs this to be helping out whoever needs this you know some people need to watch podcast or whatever Uncle Joey's here for you I'm trying to put this together I'm trying to find my voice on this podcast it's gonna be a few weeks but guess what I'm gonna grind it out with this with you if you enjoy it fucking subscribe if you don't enjoy it don't subscribe but don't send me a note Uncle Joey you suck no don't send me that note you don't

need to you could be sending your mother a card that says I love you mom instead of sending hate send love instead of going on fucking what's that shit well I went there to eat no waitress didn't give me a tip who gives a fuck just don't go there again send your father a message tell him that you love him send your sister a message tell her that you love her before you give somebody a bad review tell somebody you love call somebody email somebody you love them that's positive but if you're gonna sit there and say oh I'm gonna watch it because you did the picture there's a light in the picture Bruce Lee get it

together get it together that's a yeah that's that's your message to me you could have wrote something positive to your family member or to your girlfriend I want to eat your pussy tonight with Benoit balls in your asshole something right or wrong you know Ben while Ben while balls are that tremendous these little string of balls and you put them up a girl's ass and you look that fucking clit and every every click you pull a notch out you know I'm saying it's like and then you gather up that little pussy foam you wait till that monkey gets nice and steam to me rip that out like the water you know those things that

you pop on fucking New Year's Eve happy new year pop you pop that fucking thing out they get all crazy I didn't bend my balls in my twenties it's been a long time I didn't put them up my ass some chick put them in a little monkeys well it didn't Colorado long fucking time ago who gives a fuck it wasn't for me I don't like pulling things out people's ass I thought a kidney was gonna follow you know I'm saying that's all you need you're eating somebody's monkey you pull out of bed while born the hook gets caught to the fucking liver and now I gotta go to the hospital with what was like Jacuzzo with a fucking stick with

with a string with a hook on your ass connected I don't need that shit in my life anyway this this is this is when my mind goes you see I'm saying when I don't have you guys in my life this is why I need you guys in my life I need to I need to wrap this shit out if not we're gonna fucking just die but I love you guys and we'll be back Monday morning nice and early in the AM I hope you enjoy this I'm trying my fucking hardest I'm just here to tell you I love you you're gonna pull through this trust me this is gonna pass we're gonna laugh at all this years from now and fucking to stay healthy avoid covoidial

situations if you see a covoidial situation you go the other way what's a covoidial situation where they might be COVID that's it if you don't want to get sick you can avoid it that's it and that's that take care of yourself have a great weekend like I said we're gonna raise the tears on patreon on Monday it's gonna be three bucks who gives a fuck you wipe your ass with three bucks all day you're out there fucking around jumping up and down you get good content I take care and you know the guys a good guy we're helping out people we're trying to put things together for people I love you guys have a great

weekend don't forget to support our sponsors whether it's fucking Manscaped whether it's fucking the Blue Chew whether it's Express BPM CBD Lion all those companies please support them I love you guys and now we'll read the ads stay black love you I want to thank you for listening to Uncle Joe he's joined today and it's brought to you by Blue Chew listen remember when you're fucking when you wake up in the morning your dick was fucking hard like a motherfucker you had to salute the helmet and shit there's nothing wrong there's nothing worse than fucking having dead dick when I ripped my fucking hamstring

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wait in line the pharmacy and then the pharmacist looks at you and she giggles fuck that shit Blue Chew is cheaper than any pharmacy and you can take them anytime day or night even on a full stomach who's better than you you'll be fucking motherfuckers up with that dick you'll be putting up pictures I have you over the house banging fucking nails with your dick putting up pictures so go to BlueChew.com right now that's blue blue chew.com and get your first shipment free when you're pressing code church just pay $5 shipping and handling and that's blue like the color of your fucking helmet when it gets to popping

that fucking ass thank you Blue Chew for coming so again go to BlueChew.com and pressing church and just pay $5 for shipping again that's BlueChew.com the church is also brought to you by Manscaped let me tell you something they don't fuck around over at Manscaped all you motherfuckers doing your zoom shit and your hands are sticking out of your nose like a fucking wildebeest enough with that shit I don't want the only thing I want to see in your nose is a fucking coke rock all right that's it falling out hitting the table when everybody loses the ceiling making believe they came down from the fucking

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watch that secret shit they only get in other countries you understand me and they show you real shit too you ever seen horror in Europe they just kill motherfuckers and you don't know they don't even tell you the name of the fucking cast they just say RIP at the end knife fights dog fights in your cell but this is the real shit here Express VPN works with any streaming service Hulu BBC Netflix it's fast no buffering and it streams an HD what the fuck else you want and you ready for this one it works on all devices so right now hit the special link right now go to express VPN dot com slash church and

you get next to three months of Express VPN for free that's three months for free support the show and watch what the fuck you want and protect yourself would express VPN dot com slash church I want to thank Manskate I want to thank Bluetooth and I want to thank Express VPN but most importantly I want to thank the joint motherfucking family because we're going deep again have a great weekend and see you motherfuckers on Monday lights off it's over cut suckers go home