Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 01/21/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #48

Episode Date: January 22, 2013

MMA fighter Ivan Salaverry calls in to talk to Joey about their time on the set of The Longest Yard. Joey farts up a storm. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 01/21/2013

Oh Shit, oh shit. It's Monday. What's the day's day the 21st? Yeah, who the fuck you think you're dealing with? Obama's back like a motherfucker and we're back. Oh, sure. Hey, oh, take a leak Oh Shit nucleus 1984 dropping It's a bad fucking right bad Ryan's way My mother paid me a brand new toy Did they do something else I feel like I feel like I reckon I recognize this shit

He made up his fucking mind cocksucker What it starts with the church of what's happening now the flying Jew Joey Coco Diaz nucleus, baby Oh fuck Oh shit Oh Martin Luther King's birthday get out there in March cocksucker and Obama's and getting inaugurated today That was yesterday, right? No, it's today today to all Martin Luther King day and a black president's getting in Michelle Obama's looking good today like a motherfucker shaving that little monkey. I love it. I love Michelle. You think she shaved

Half of it. It's not no fucking. It's not so train, you know Great to be back the church what's happening on Monday morning I hope you guys guys had a great fucking weekend great weekend of sports. You had the UFC You had fucking he had New England. Yeah, San Francisco. You know when I spoke to Lee early He's like, oh, let's fucking Atlanta's winning San Francisco. Well, everybody was excited man, uh Ray Lewis What the fuck was going on with him in the beginning when he was just yelling that oh father during the national anthem

He had heard my national anthem. Yeah, he was like fuck Joey Diaz. I'm gonna go out there and cry He had the war paint down like a fucking apocalypse though. I don't know man I like I said this a while ago on the one of course. I'm stony. Maybe smoke fucking the six in the morning. Um, Yeah, that I was a scared of Baltimore and then Tom, I don't know just I'm I'm pissed off, but it's all right Wait, none of me pissed off about you didn't bet on the fucking game You're just a fan. You put your shirt you draw and you move on. That's it. You got the cell this Don't even bring it 25 years old. You're a fucking savage. You got the fucking Holly Bob in the 30 90s

Be it you better shave that you're looking more and more like a rabbi, but you're looking handsome these days I'm looking for if I don't have it. I like it. I'm bored at work. I want to see how big I can get it You're smoking more this shit or what? Sure. Why not get over here. Come suck it over here sparking like a Like it's a fucking Martin Luther King rally in this motherfucker. Happy Martin Luther King day there. He was a great man He did great things Because of him. He opened up a thousand fucking doors Friday last week. I went crazy last Wednesday. I went a little crazy. He would lead during the banana bread Atlanta the national anthem and I retweet it. It's funny because I got a story for that national anthem and how that came about

I'm not I hate listen guys. I have I tell you motherfuckers 800 stories, but I really have 10,000 I can't tell you a lot of them because I can't tell your names or situations out of respect for the people And that's the way it is So I don't like telling your story that I don't have a name to because it makes me look like a fucking three-year-old Like, you know that guy what I know I want to tell you the whole situation But I bumped into him about a year ago and he goes hey man, and you're fucking shows you never tell you better never tell the story But my family I swore I wouldn't so but let me tell you the story, right?

For you fucking momos that don't know 2030 years ago in this great country of ours at what I 12 30 every night the television shut down Yeah, a lot of people don't know that see you don't know how lucky you kids have it like that's like the AT&T commercial Where a little kid's telling the other little kids you fucking don't know. Oh, yeah In my day you had a way to yell minute for it down But it's the same thing applies here it was shut down, you know at 12 30 12 35 one in the morning There was only three channels two four and seven Fox came later on they were the Puerto Ricans in the fucking name No

That's a lot of people don't know so I Knew these kids and their father was an alcoholic. Okay, all right these Irish kids I grew up and their father was an alcoholic and one night I slept over that and I'm about fucking 12 30. I'm here and get up Get the fuck up get up and Then it was two boys and a girl Yeah, and I hung out with both the boys because they played basketball and like the one he hated the one fucking boy But he liked the other guy

But he hated and I still remember waking up with what the fuck's going on and he opened the door and he realized I was in there and now he was cornered. He's like you to get out there salute the fucking flag It was 12 30 at night, you know, and this is why the kids were always tired It was their little secret the father would wake him up every night Make him get up and so to get up your little fucking maggots salute the flag You dumb motherfuckers and they'd have to walk downstairs and sit there Like two fucking minutes that was a story and I'd see him in the morning like what he had just a loot and they're like shut the fuck So that's the fucking story, but it's true, man

What I was yelling at that thing is it's true enough with the fucking diseases the man made diseases and enough with all this bullshit Things ain't working out for you and fucking America We think that you could have been born in Africa You could have been one of those kids with the flies in their face. Yeah, but no somebody fucking somebody somebody kid enough for you Some fucking outside force to make you be born in Alabama or Ohio or fucking Rhode Island or somewhere that you could do something You're fucking life. That's all I meant with that little speech So don't get your fucking skirts up me and Lee was stoned to the gills And I just want to get my point across you know I'm saying we do need fucking weapons

Not to shoot people but to protect ourselves I heard that if you go fucking to buy a gun now in California the stores are fucking empty people buying guns like it's fucking Sale really Jesus and it keeps happening. There was a another story like a a 15-year-old kid killed his whole family Like last night or something. It keeps happening man. It's scary shit. I don't like the pills to kids Remember the kid that we bumped into in chance. Yeah at the end of the night after we shot the documentary remember Yeah, he was not right Right, you could tell that he was not right. He was kind of drunk. It's him again, right, but he was kind of fucking drunk He's been drunk since he was 10. I was he was the only kid. I knew ever under the age of 18. That was legally

Described medication like all those kids I hang out with no that he was the only one of them We were kids that gave him speed to slow him down because he would jump off balconies and his own fucking roof and the whole thing He was still fucked up. You had years or whatever. I don't believe it. You know, let me tell you why I Told my wife why I was in such edge for the last couple months, you know, I Was doing acid and I'm ashamed of this but I gotta tell the fucking story from the age of fucking 14 To 16 13 and a half to 16. I did acid at least twice a weekly and it got to the point where From the age of 15 to like 16, maybe I

Didn't ask that I sold masculine. I Had, you know how we smoke weed today. Yeah, I had access to masculine and acid So to sell it you have to do it. Mm-hmm my tolerance to acid was huge when I was a kid Huge most kids were doing a half a hit of masculine. I could do two I was a big kid plus my tolerance because I sold it. Yeah, so I would pop it fucking whenever You know, it was like anything else. It's like coke. It's like weed. It's like anything when you do a drug every day You don't get as high as the first two days or three days. Yeah, I go buy a 20 a week You know that those first fucking three buckets take me where I got to go

I know and if I know the weeds that good, I'll go the next day buy it but save it Okay, why the smoking it every day so it won't kill my tolerance Okay, so I just smoke it, you know, I'm smoking a week from now, but I had the same thing going on with acid So I know for a fact when you're fucking growing as a man and every day you're shocking your central nervous system Somewhere along the line. That's not gonna be okay Somewhere along the line. I'm gonna start shaking them to have dementia some I didn't want to pass down to my child That's why I was so upset the last couple months because you never fucking know what uh, what you know But I ate as a 15 year old. I had a lot of fucking drugs Lee

Yeah, and I can't believe I'm even asking cuz we're not neither of us will know but can any of that stuff get passed on I would think would just affect you. I mean Lee was out of my body 30 years ago But I gotta believe somewhere along the line, you know during those years when your body is forming when you're becoming a man You know, it can't be good for you. No, yeah, I'm thinking just this is just an educated guest Hypothesis here. This is just a guy talking to another fucking guy that somewhere along the line and then so you got to figure okay I didn't do nothing till 14 14 I started with the THC

Crystal which is really angel dust. Okay, so I was doing that shit once a fucking week I was trying to call the kid Carlos Perez his wife hit me up the other face because I was trying to call Carlos Perez So he could call the other day, but we haven't been able to get a call that's the only guy really Keep in touch with that's still From the old neighborhood like giving that terrorist one from in North North My mom was still alive and shit. So you figure I did that for like two years Okay, and I do that on Sundays, but during the week once I got into mescaline I would fucking sell it and I was doing it three four times

No, is you said mescaline acid at the same time. Is it the same thing or no? It's it's different That's a plant and these guys would take it and put in Something and you ate it and then the acid they either put on paper on these little hits Okay, you know these little fucking things and we we got more acid than we did mescaline believe it or not And I was up in East Rouseburg. I got more acid. It was crazy that nose formative years when your body's forming You're all this shit for me. I was popping fucking acid during the week On the weekends. I was doing T8C and then once 80 came the 80s

You were doing blow. So you figure I did, you know, listen, man. I did blow from 1980 to 2007 That's 27 fucking years and you figure I went hard This was no a half gram like that guy on that fucking commercial high, you know I own Malibu The rehab treatments. I was I also party for 10 years bitch. You better get lying. You're 17 behind flavor And that's what out there three I got counted for years of fucking the mescaline and acid and ups

You know for a while I used to take those speed bills. I never liked that shit at all I used to sell those to wrestlers these little things called black beauties Yeah, so that's what the point was the point was that you know in those years I had to do some type of fucking damage. So I was telling my wife the other day. You know, I look at this little girl And I'm very fucking happy that she's really healthy at all levels Yeah, a lot of children that are born fucked up the parents or whatever, but I'm really fortunate. So That's what we're talking about. I don't know how we got to the foot conversation. What he said was his kids on those pills and My senior year of high school

This kid with he was on pills But he had a Asperger's which is that that disease that it seems like a lot of people who do the shootings now have it's kind of a I forget the word but it's a mental disease and it's mostly social and stuff like that But when I in my senior year a kid went into a bathroom and just stabbed a random kid and he died It was like six years ago And those are first I heard about Asperger's and it seems like every one of these people that do the the mass killings seem to have it And and they're on the pills and they don't seem to be helping and I don't know if it's If it's the disease that does it or what does it?

But then all the offices not doing the right stuff for the kids You know Lee and I got like me sits here fucking baffled. I Sit here baffled like I was telling Rogue and I sit here fucking baffled Because when I was a child that was exposed to weapons and I was exposed to fucking weapons in a crazy way now Okay, so maybe I found the special category, but and then again I went to a school named McKinley school when I got thrown out of Sacred Heart for fucking choking the nun I went to a school called McKinley school in North Bergen. It's across from the York Hotel Off a route 3 and I gotta tell you something there was no

Shootings and we didn't have people but those were in hindsight and I look you in the face and tell you those are some of The most disturbed children I had ever been around and let me tell you what made it worse You know in the 60s and 70s a bunch of Cuban kids came Come bunch of Spanish kid came okay, Puerto Rico Dominican Republic, Colombia You know, I shouldn't just narrow it down a fucking Cuban. There's an assortment of specs in that fucking school and I was one and You know, they didn't know the language so in those days we weren't as accelerated as we are now you had SRA reading program And you had four teachers and they did the best that you can with 20 fucking students in a class Now never mind the fucking language barrier. So these kids got left back not because they weren't intelligent

Just because they didn't know the language Jesus and they kept holding these kids back So these kids ended up being you know 14 in the seventh fucking great You know, I remember Louis Alvar and the Ali brothers The Ali brothers one of the kids I hit in the fucking head with a with a rock I talked him into I talked to tell them that it was a Meteor from the fucking skies, you know, Louis Alvar still on Facebook Peter Jimenez, I still remember these kids were men in the seventh grade Man, they were 15 16. Yeah, and I'm not trying to be cute

I mean there's jokes that they used to drive to school and they used to walk with their kids and they had mustaches No, but they were fucking men and these kids could beat the fuck out anybody. I mean these kids were tough That's why they were put in a pilot program. They were frustrated and they would smack kids around But I had a kid Charlie Gizzy that I knew for a fact I knew for a fact his brother and him killed the guy down in five corners on 43rd Street, North Bergen Another kid on that block was Doug Jimenez Cuban kid. That was a rocker even back then didn't even speak Spanish His parents couldn't control them. I knew for a fact that dude was a fucking killer There was a couple killers in that fucking crew and we had him at McKinley

Charlie Gizzy was the one I cracked a joke about that whenever a plane would go by he'd get up and get a machine gun He'd shoot the fucking plane. I mean we had a kid Richie Colombo that would fucking stab you to death There were just a few fucking kids in these grammar schools that were dangerous motherfuckers I'm telling you that right now and all these schools had them I know McKinley had four or five of these dangerous fucking kids that you know turned out to be fucking something like Ended up doing 20 years or whatever the Denny brothers the Denny brothers were three kids One of them had a marathon woman the chick that sucked 24 cocks of the sophomore That's what they called the marathon woman than the other brother was Mike Denny. They called him the devil

He's doing 20 years for killing his wife in North Carolina I mean I'm telling you and I grew up with these fuckers my god in the vicinity that I knew them But especially like the gizzies I knew fucking Charlie gizzies to talk to him and I smoked pot Well, I bought drugs from a couple times. I knew that was there were all in that relation with Gunter Brown, that's if you ask me again, I'll knock you down. That's why I did heroin at 16 Gunter Brown had no problems. You give me a fucking $10 bag of heroin No problem where I fucking flipped out watching no quarter. Anyway, a little fucking music It's Monday more a little something for the spirits with Tony Bennett cocks like that

Well Tony but everything today is black except Tony Bennett out of respect. This is you know, this goes deeper It's Monday morning January 21st already To pick up the pieces What's happening Lee banana bread Wednesday, I don't know Lee. I don't know no more banana bread this way All right, what are you talking big game? You know what's on there's no more Lee you were fucked up the other day I'm saying you were slow with the fucking national anthem. I wasn't slow listen to it. You were slipping Yeah, whoever made that video. I loved it. The other thing is I wish you'd left it in the part where he said turn it on again

And I turned it on That was oh my god. That was that was fucking crazy, man Because I don't think people understand Because the everyone heard oh like with the she puts it in the butter It's I can't even explain how high I was. I had like two small little pieces. It is crazy Listen people the banana bread is the craziest fucking Ah One thing I loved about getting high when I started at that age of 13 with Carlos Perez and Domics

Michelle and Jimmy Balzan on those guys We used to play a game we used to snort a line of THC and go into the city and lose each other And the goal was to end up on 178th Street and meet each other and then go back on Lincoln Tunnel or something That morning we lost each other. We started at 10 to 6 and next you know was 730 and we were fucking higher than fuck. I left the hours higher than Fuck and I got thrown into taking a walk with my wife and going to lunch with the kid Oh, I passed out. Oh, oh, I was high the fuck when I left it and it's amazing that the banana bread Doesn't have limits on it like everybody else in town has like 40 milligrams or like I just had an iced tea

I was gonna bring over here for your friends and iced tea. Yeah 40 milligrams of THC. Oh, that's cool I like that. Don't do nothing. Tell you 40 milligrams is what I watched my fucking dick Where were those anti Dolores brownies? Do you know remember how much ones the little chocolate like you cut it was small But you cut in half 50 That fucking got me stoned. What are you talking? It was a hundred milligrams. Yeah anti Dolores. Yeah, so 40 seems pretty good It's 50 You I gotta put you in that league your major league I gotta get you up there a hundred milligrams I almost missed work. I woke up at six. I was like, you know, but I don't know

I don't even know how to explain it. But when you have something like that, I don't feel sore But it's I don't know I feel it kind of like I either had a massage or something. I told you Yeah, I ain't fucking with nobody. I listen guys listen I ain't one of these guys with the tattoos and the t-shirts and Hampton Betty Ross, listen, I don't give a fuck I get a high to get fucking stoned to the fucking girls But you know a couple years ago. I had a two-take All right six five years ago. I had this little two-take and it was a root canal and it didn't take So over the holidays I had an over the holidays six or seven days. I had this fucking tune

And I remember getting so high at night just passing out with the fucking pain like I'm about to pass out right now But I would pass out and I would go wow, that's amazing that it really would help with my pain Yeah, but the biggest contributed a weed I had was when I first started losing weight like and Working out in the back bouncing around your lower back hurts. Yeah, he hurts your feet hurt speaking of that How's the strong bone working? I don't have no fucking pains no more You know, I'm a real advocate on the fucking strong bone. You know a lot of people come here They'll tell you the alpha brain or say you this that this I love alpha brain alpha brain is fucking tremendous I read another review on it. It really does alpha brain gets you so fucking intensified that you just you know

Alpha brain a little breast milk and some weed excuse me for the That's that protein burp. What do you think of that fart before I farted? Oh my god I was that far he farted and it was so good 10 feet in between and I was just getting ready And I was just standing up and it's like it's like in the cartoons when it's just yellow smoke and it just hits you Oh, it hit me. I sprayed for breeze and the for breeze like died That hip protein straight up in the morning with a little banana in it Oh, it got me going this morning by the time I get home about 7 30 my asshole be ready to percolate

That motherfucker just comes out like a soft serve like a doctor I got a lot of candle and a candle for the candle. You know saying that's how I roll bitches on a Monday Fucking beautiful morning. Get up Write your goals down for the day right your goals down for that. It's amazing when I write my goals down, bro That's what I put three kickboxes a yoga a workout, you know, I'll read three pages of a book You know, I've been working with all my Lopez on writing this fucking book And it's a nightmare because I can't find my true patrol. We've got it narrowed down on paragraph a week a sentence a week a sentence a day and a week and you know

We got testicle testimates is up tomorrow sale But testicles testimates the show starts again up in February again. Okay, so I give you the dates We got February March and April but what we're talking about was uh When I first started with the workouts that would hurt the monks and I went to kushma at the time And kushma used to sell two cookies for ten bucks. He's a little oatmeal hash cookies Okay, just these little fucking cookies and you would eat both of them and the next day I would not be sore at all my knees wouldn't hurt my feet wouldn't hurt like my you know, my ankles wouldn't hurt So now what I do is to be honest with you, you know

The strong bone takes about a week and a half to get going into your system. Yeah So I'm already up to my second thing and again, it's like when people say to me What do you think about melatonin melatonin is fucking great, but it becomes like everything else you get used to it Yeah, so now you gotta get on something else. So I don't do the melatonin no more. I just kept it to reefer I mean the real reason why I smoke reefer is to fall back to sleep at night. Yeah, you know, I went to bed I went to the high I got home in a quarter to 11 last night talked to my wife for a little while Play with the baby. I think I went to bed at 12. You know, I was walking around at 345. I saw that I was walking on a three fucking 45 this morning. I was getting coffee like nothing granted

I'll take a two-hour nap later. Maybe three hours. Yeah, but that's how I am If this if I didn't have to meet you at six I would have got up got some coffee and I would have rolled the fucking joint in half of this bazooka debt And I would have smoked them both and by five o'clock. I'll fall back and sleep and get three more hours Yeah, sleep and pull the dangerous. I used to be on them and then I also can't fuck around with sleep There was a commercial during football I think it's a new sleeping pill that you're supposed to take like if you wake up in the middle of night It's not like but like the amount of bad things that could happen from it

Well, it was like an extra two minutes to the commercial and the from the weed my friends asked me because I worked nights I have some friends here. They said, oh, why are you gonna be able to sleep? I'm like the weed I'll be asleep ten minutes after Joey leaves and I feel like those sleeping pills are dangerous, man All I need is just a push to get me to sleep once I'm in there It's just to shut my mind off. I think of the things I have to do when I lay down And then you say fuck let me just get up and do them and then you get up and you realize that you only do 50% so you're wasting your time. It's the law of diminishing returns Saturate what the fuck we what's the music you got for these beautiful black people today?

What do you got Jesus Christ? Uncle Joey today. I hear something. Let's see if you like this. Oh Shit, oh shit. Oh I played this this morning, too It's my love James and I should play other James Brown for you people But this is as deep as it gets this is whether your mind frame should be every fucking morning Revenge for waking the fuck up Black and I'm angry

You understand me. That's me James Brown. I got fucking black veins in my eye You know those red veins of the black people get married you go to Memphis. Isn't that from the weed? No, cuz they're angry Those are African bloodlines is shit. What? Oh shit Get down with my girlfriend what Monday the 21st of the month get up cocksuckers Next month is the month that all the Jews get angry paying the same amount of rent for a fucking short month. Oh, shit I'm already thinking about it

Okay, baby You want to see only do it bad motherfucker you and Wednesday We're coming to you live from nerdy studio's four o'clock in California time Seven o'clock Pacific time like I was telling you and I'm sorry to fucking keep interrupting myself I get stoned it goes fucking nowhere people. This is what you need to do All right, so you I get the strong bone now and

Since you get the tolerance to it I did one thing Okay, I got it in my system and then I did the other thing to get it fully in my system Now I'm not gonna be paying at all and I switch it up with the hemp protein and I'm taking the immune now for the For the flu that's been going around. I have not gotten the flu. I could feel it Yeah, dad threw a fucking family out that had it all in there I smoke dope with somebody or something. Oh, never mind. I woke up Friday morning I spit out this black fucking lung of death flu with Chinese had a fucking fortune

So I could tell it came from China this fucking flu and that's what the fortune said you're gonna get the flu And I fucking it was on my toe You ever spit on your toe by mistaking the shower cuz in the shower I brush my teeth even better Like I've been doing everything brush your teeth in the shower. Fuck. Yeah, right when I get up in the morning Where you gonna go? That's a second thing I do after I pee well, I'm pee and I'm putting a shower on Yeah, well, I understand that but I mean, I guess I make sense What do you brush your teeth after when when you come out of the shower and I gotta keep walking That's an extra three minutes with that fucking horse breath

Fucking you go in the shower you wash your hair Then you throw some condition on that motherfucker while your hair is conditioning your shave You scrub your body with the washcloth your asshole your snutsack It just feels dirty in there like I don't know if I want like my tooth brush in there No, your toothbrush is still outside. I just reached my hand. I like a Puerto Rican like fester and I fucking brush it Then I spin it all up and I get it all in there and I shave in there and I get the whole patois You know I'm saying I mean look at this fucking shit. Look at this fuck your blue tear You know I'm saying I gotta look handsome then when I come out you listen to read that motherfucking case

You got any pussy hairs or what? Or asshole residue in your mouth Because the toothbrush don't get asshole residue out. No, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm getting farted on No, bro, we got it all set up for you again. It's your prize for as a matter of fact I might even drop one of these protein farts on your face No, not you Who shot that duck a little something for you on a Monday morning get your shit together people get up wash do something anyway Oh my god, this is real hemp right this is put this on the box of the microphone will pick up a

Yeah, we got that's the next that's the next technology me to send you the odors That are coming on my straight through your fucking computer screen you can put you pulling on its mother's feet a pussy It's a tremendous tech man. What is it Lee? What is it? What? What what do you mean? What is it what cocksucker what what what what? So anyway, Jody is like Not what I'm trying to fucking say here is that Go in there. I know it's getting cold across the country. It's very cold in Canada Get today today right now. Well, we're fucking talking go to on it calm

Order the three pack get yourself to hemp protein like I'm farting right now If you're gonna get invited to Valentine's party, why not fucking drop one of these hemp protein farts and a motherfucker and rock their world It's gonna smell in this room. I farted in the car two days ago and I sent my wife on a mission I go take my car. She called me midway. She's like I'm driving with all the windows open And it still smells in here these hemp protein farts. They just linger and then get yourself to strong bone If you're a fat fuck or if you're a little heavy you want to lose some weight You want to do some circuit training or something and get yourself the the shroom tech immune give me the shot And then later on try the shroom tech

The other one that they have because they have the sport and the immune try and bolt and see sports to work out It's got those mushrooms or cyborgs where the fuck they call them and it makes you run a little higher and jump fucking quick It's like juice leakers run high and jump quicker. Yeah, whatever the fuck it is. What what why you laughing at me? I'm a little stoned. We were given about 24 minutes. You rolled three joints Like it was nothing Two joints cocksuckers. No, it was at least three. It was and I still got well. I smoked one at the house Oh, okay, right, but you ain't no swarming. Let me do some shout-outs here today to my people Lee Roy neck bone happy fucking

Bob Luther King day in my favorite fucking black dude. I'm gonna give a shout-out to Jasper Williams A kid I grew up with that showed me the black fucking culture When I When I first came from Cuba a shout-out to my brother Constantine rain Kev D. Foster you black motherfucker Alex Anuga Eric Mitchell you bad motherfucker. I want to give Gregory O'Connell Michael whatever Answer this motherfucker. Let's do this. Yeah, boss. I'm your man. Oh

How are you? Martin Luther King day. Oh my who do I have on the fucking line today? Oh shit, oh shit the great motherfucking Ivan salivary. How are you my brother? How are you? Good morning. Good morning to you. Thank you very much for calling today for you guys that uh No, there's one of my I love this guy with all my hearties up in Seattle too bad I can't come see him cuz I got that warrant the great Ivan salivary give him a round of applause say hello Don't fly in Jewels Ivan salivary. Hey Ivan Hey, how you doing? I'm good. How are you?

This is the flying Jew we work together. He's my little co-host here in the church of what's happening now What's with the questions you know I'm saying What's going on Ivan up there in Seattle talk to me You know I got down with the tournament this weekend not that I did one I have one so a long weekend You know, you know driving through Seattle with the with the great weather that we have over here and I'm dying to get you out here. What's up for all man? What does it squash that fucking water you got out here and bring you up here? Now you're the owner now a salivary MMA or MMA salivary. What's the name of the school?

That it's either salivary and then a it's a school over on Southlake. You live here downtown Seattle And what do you teach over there exactly? Well, my style MMA is really divided out of our Sporting martial arts, so we do boxing kickboxing Wrestling and submission wrestling and the transitions of all those make up our mixed martial arts and training So you have regular people that go to your school and fighters, correct? Yeah, of course, I mean like our meat and potatoes of our gym our lifestyle martial artists or Ladies and gentlemen that we like

The MMA training so we do regular classes are a little bit less competitive and not so much Obviously sparring and or hardcore training and then we have the eight basically that you come in there And just beat the heck out of each other and try to go out and do the circuit out here for cage fighting or competition graphic tournaments or anything that's competitive and that's a whole different animal Now you're very fortunate Ivan that you did fight in the fucking UFC and some other organizations Who are some of the people you fought?

Oh my god Wow I Make me a thing no more no more. I just want people to realize who the fuck we have on the phone here You ain't no fucking hobby is throwing sidekicks for Jesus I love you at all my heart. You always make me laugh tell these cocksuckers how we met Oh my goodness. We were on the set of the longest yard. I was training Bob Sapp

me and Louise Smith will train Bob Saturday took us over there and we were neighboring trailers and I love that kind of smell the sweet smell coming out of your trainer. I'm like, what what is that? And then I was like Yeah We had a good time on that movie man, I still think about that hotel how much we used to laugh And it was like it was a little shocking to see that many celebrities and you know, I mean how the movie Business work and all that stuff. So it was really really cool. I lived in a pool of sweat

You know me for you know, many many years. I don't see that stuff and so it was cool You know, and you were like so kicked back and we kind of gravitated to you You know, I mean because you were more real I think and like I'm able to talk to it and hang out with And it was cool man. It was really cool And Bob South, I mean he was crazy hanging out with him those days man, really crazy Remember we used to take the vans in the morning and we used to get the arguments. I used to call them Godzilla and shit In Japan you big fucking Godzilla cocksucker

And always fucking late and Maurice always clowning people. Oh my god wrong people man. You know how he is Just a loud mouth You know, and this is what these people have no idea and I'm gonna break it down for you motherfuckers They're at home watching this or listening. I was in the movie. We were in a movie with Adam Sandlin Chris Rock and all that shit That's great and dandy But in the trailer next to me Was Ivan Salveri Maury Smith and Bob Sapp. I want you to wrap your fucking heads around that

I want you to wrap your fucking heads if something would have happened on that set That was just in the trailer next to me. The one on my right was what was the name Goldberg? Yep, remember he used to rip the door off the fucking hinges because it would look Sweetheart Another fucking cool guy across from us. We had Kevin Nash another monster And what was the other guy the balls had a guy from Texas the wrestler No, that was Goldberg Austin Steve Austin that was our neighborhood that was because we weren't in with the civilized people we weren't with Nellie

No, and it was Lobo and Nick tutorial. That's where who was in the back. We called it the ghetto. That was the back That was the fucking back, you know the sergeant and Chris Rock and Nellie and those guys They had us in hell in this fucking thing because there was always drama I mean, I remember those wrestlers making margaritas Do you remember that they had a blender and they would send the guy on the fucking thing for the liquor store? That's how strong this movie was they would send them to the liquor store to get Margarita mix and beers at 10 o'clock in the fucking morning and on a movie set You guys were probably sitting around for eight or ten hours a day and not doing nothing doing nothing

But I asked him nothing You know, I mean it's causing havoc and trouble, you know, I mean it was crazy. It was really fucking crazy There was cross-dressing in that movie Yes, you know what I just seen those guys I just did a TV show and two of them from the from the longest yard where they and I'll tell you We were sitting there telling stories and cracking the fuck up and It was just Tracy Morgan

Tracy Tracy fucking Morgan Are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me and here I am I Don't even know what to describe this feeling and like I said, I remember Being hot as fucking Bob Sapp couldn't pick me up There was a scene where he had to pick me up and he couldn't fucking pick me up I was so fat this guy was throwing people around in pride and he couldn't fucking pick me up Amazing The ex-wife was there where we was engaging

That's right. Oh my god. Yeah, your ex-wife came to visit your ex-wife came to visit That's right over in New Mexico. We have some good training sessions up there, too Well, you took me the Difficult to breathe up there surprisingly. Yeah, you know where you took me. We went one day to Alberto Crane school That's right Alberto Crane has a Let me tell you something about Alberto Crane. He's got a 7 a.m. Class That starts in 30 minutes every fucking day 7 a.m. In Burbank off, Cuyangah, and it's fucking packed

I I had a you know every morning before I do the podcast You know, I'm trying to stay in shape and get healthy so I do a protein shake But for some reason this might put a banana in it some peanut butter What's coming out of my ass if the fucking NASA got it the farts and they put it in the jar They could drop this over I ran and I rack and all these shit those motherfuckers wouldn't know what to do How bad is this fart Lee? How bad is it? I'm about to pass out. It is fucking terrible and I farted like it was nothing He's got no choice. He's the technician is the producer. He's got to sit it out like a savage

He's got to be like a police during hurricane Sandy. He's got to sit down the beach But the fucking I just farted and I caught the heat that first batch of heat. I almost died over here fucking terrible terrible Remember, you know, it was pretty interesting No, no, no, you got to have a good time You know who else we had a good time with in that movie that blew us away the big Indian You know Oh my god

Damn, he used to eat like 30 eggs for breakfast He would eat he remember he would eat 30 eggs for breakfast Do you remember that he would take a box of food home at night? Yeah, like they would give him like fucking a pound of chicken and Rice and potatoes because that that was like his late-night supper. He was We were at the same hotel when we went back to LA we were in the same hotel a little bit of The week was week long or whatever month-long hotel that we stayed at yeah with the kitchen and all that stuff and

That dude my goodness. I can't take it like yeah, I remember him having Takeout and We brought in and it was incredible the bag after bag it hands Well, literally huge they were like bigger than my head man. It was incredible. It was yeah He was a freak and a real nice guy another guy. It's like super sweet. Don't give him to life by way You know the jawline, you know, I mean, you know, you saw line He was a real fucking he he was a real sweetheart of a guy He really was and we started making him perverted like we started talking about pussy and eat the fucking

Shit and he couldn't believe it hindu ass. He was loving he was loving white women. Remember he bought sunglasses. He was done You know once you come from India and you're in Hollywood and you see some big fucking pussy He didn't even want to go back to India. He was done. He did for you through he took the flute He took the flute broken in half and killed the snake. He said fucking. I'm staying in Cali slinging dick eating eggs What's in the future son Ivan Salivary talk to me? Well, baby, you know, I'm obviously, you know, I'm not as fighting as much I take a fight here and there under, you know, it's still trying to maintain myself in the fight game But right now I'm focusing on the gym

focusing on on on my tournament that I have a good the termical G sub X submission grappling tournament that's doing very well You know, I'm focusing on my fighters Especially on the second fight that we have out here Um, you know comment here myself in the anime community. Um, I still talk to Maurice, uh, I still talk to to Bob. I still hang out with the old head. Josh Barnett Uh, Dennis Hallman all all the old heads, you know, we still hang out watching a great while We hang out jet months and actually that old old part watching a while

um And we hang out and have a good time and still try to maintain and and and roll on the mat once in a while, you know, I mean, so Um, good. I I I'm very fortunate. I'll tell you this honestly though. I'm very very fortunate. Um, A world mat, you know, I mean, I wake up in the morning. I have my cup of coffee and I get to box and wrestle all day You know, I mean, uh, and and and to be able to do that. It is a blessing So I'm happy And you're also the creator of the crucifix Ha ha ha one of the best moves of all

My grandmother made the crucifix. All right. Listen, I gotta give Let me put this out there. I gotta give, you know, Joe Rogan a big prop You know for even mentioning me in that situation, you know, I mean, I was like I was just super young and and in my first year see when I had this move Over on andre seminoff and I was a horrific fight for me in the sense that I pummeled it motherfucker pummeled it I beat him in every capacity possible and I couldn't

For me, I couldn't beat him and I was like, holy shit. I gotta kill the motherfucker in the middle of the cage You know, I mean, I was like, holy crap. This guy is so hard to you know be Um, and thank god, you know, I got a take down And I was able to maneuver my position Into that, you know, from side control into our front side crucifix Which I don't know people know out there, but the front side crucifix is basically the isolation of the head by controlling Uh, top position and controlling the far side arm and the knee side The near side arm so the far side arm you control with your arms or the near side

Arm you control with the legs so I'd isolate the head and you're able to pummel down on The head without any any obstruction and that's and the referee stopped it after like 50 hits Right, uh, uh along answers hit 50 hits So, uh, but the truth of it is like that isn't a positioning control a controlled position, right? So it's not me that invented it You know, but I was one of the first to have ever used this and went through it in the ufc So I have credit from Joe Rogan for it and he always calls it the salivary

All right, um, but that move is as ancient as my mother, but I gotta give him props and thank you so much for this It's helped my career so much from you know, being able to you know, be known to uh known for that move You know what I mean? So, uh, yeah, I mean, I'm very thankful for Joe for that. So You're a bad motherfucker, Ivan No We stayed friends. I'm happy that uh, you know, you have the boys and I just had my girl and uh, We watched each other Yeah, it's uh, it's been a pistol at tomorrow's two weeks, uh

And it's fucking different, but you know what man? My wife is happy And that's the most important fucking thing at the end of the week. She's uh, she's another fucking planet She's another dimension. She's doing great. And that's that's the more like I said, you know, once that's good Uh to see that when you see it, you know, like I said, I was married before and I had a daughter before and I kind of failed And now to see it from a different angle like I realized how how fucked up I was when I Got married 30 years ago. I was fucked up Like I was fucked up because I don't I remember all these stories about mugging hookers and all this shit But I don't remember about my daughter being born and being around this one reminds me and I

It makes me think of how fucked up I am, but uh, I even I'm happy you called today and I'm happy you're you're a friend And uh, is there a web page that these cocks seconds could go to and see your school and what you're doing up there Absolutely, I've decided very mna. You just look it up. You google it and my gym will pop up Uh, you know, if you're interested in my tournament, it's g sub x.com If you're interested in and coming up, especially all you guys out there, we challenge any california You know grappling some missions. You just do anything You know got out there to come up here and try to do something We dare you with triple dogs dare you and you're up there with alice and chains and fucking bruce lee

You up there make it happen chris cornell and fucking the home of the real martial artist. Fuck. Yeah That's the truth of original martial artist, man. That's the fucking truth of that. Yeah, we got here marie smith josh barnett danis hallman Old schoolers, man, so yeah That's good that you have a year to come through here. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, december or something Henderson, uh, you know, the friend of the title against that may be a very good card Did you go? Yeah, we had a sweet. It was awesome. I was really cool. We had a yeah Look at fucking Ivan up there living like a doctor slinging dick

Jumping up and down. Look at him. We all chipped in like, you know, we like a bunch of guys You know and got a got a sweet and it was really really cool But uh, there was a good card man. Really really good card. So what'd you think of this week's card? I didn't see it. I was stuck doing the tournament. Oh, okay. You know watch vidar Vito kick Yeah, he went after him he looked good he looked good I would be saying that he might have been juiced up That he might be pissing hot, but you know, everybody's so fucking negative. You just can't give a guy a shot

Maybe a guy just worked hard. He looked that fucking chiseled, you know The zaga looked really good. You know a couple fights were good The next fight is when oh this week we have chicago We have a ramp. Okay. Yeah, we have rampage against uh tuxera And you have uh dotson against uh mighty mouse. I think You got some great fucking fights. Who are and clay? No shit Oh, that's right

How's my man the Puerto Rican the boxing guy Cool the guy that's right. Yeah, how's he doing? He's doing really well, man. He's up at the community college. You know, I mean, he's been worked at the community college Um, he does the the physical education program over there and he's got a boxing program over there at the community college Seattle central So, um, yeah, he's doing really well college. Yeah, he's doing really well really well Does he help you out at the gym at all? He comes down wanting a great while but no, he's got a good thing going, you know, I mean, okay, um, and

I got Well, you know, like, you know, that's enough man. I got That's enough of you know, striking coach ego. You know, I mean, so yeah, Maurice He's not he's not in Vegas right now, but you know, he's one of my main Oh striking instructors over there. Who is that? Who's your main guy? Maurice man. Oh, is he is the old man you made striking instructor. I didn't know that Yeah All right, I'm gonna go on the webpage when I get out of here. I'm gonna go take a look

I didn't know more resources up there with you full-time Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, he's not like now. He's in Vegas right now, but uh, yeah, he's up here He's my guy So you have a good fucking school over there, man. You really got it going on. I'm proud of you, Ivan We have we have a good crew. We have you know, I mean, we have some really good coaches, you know, coach johnny You know, I mean is one of my lesson coaches Oh, you know, we have a bunch of guys that come through, you know, I mean that you know, obviously, josh You know, josh Barnett comes from once in a great while

Uh, Bennett's home in jep monson. Oh those guys. I mean, I mean, it's a it's a tight-knit family the small Area for what it is. You know, I mean, you know that shadow is a it's a small city big count Um, and uh, but surprisingly we push out a lot of good guys Out of this little area that henderson is is from this area. You know, I mean, uh, you know, uh, DJ mighty mouth is from this area. You know, I mean, so there's champions with the current champions from the northwest from the Seattle area for that matter Hey, man, they do what it rains. You gotta do something inside You know goodness, man, you know what the fucking starts raining there

Raining baby 40 on maybe damn when it starts fucking raining there, you gotta stay inside got really good at comedy living up there That's the truth because that's all you do. You do fucking comedy You know, there's no time to do nothing else. It's fucking raining out No, you know what the rain didn't get to me it was it's really hard to explain to people it wasn't But I lived in colorado the year that snowed uh 20-something days in a row Yeah, and it was kind of like living in seattle. I remember being in seattle looking out your window It's fucking raining again And the thing that's good is if you don't have a job in seattle, you look out the window you close the fucking curtain

And you roll over and put on another three hours of high-powered fucking sleep Yeah, and you wouldn't miss a beat Nah, ain't nothing going on It's really hard when you get these like california people coming through to seattle And then and especially when they come in the summertime. Oh my god, it's so fucking gorgeous. It's so beautiful the lake From now on the water the sun right and then they said one mother fucking winter here And this week the fuck out man. Oh, no, it's amazing. They can't take like two weeks straight of like rain It's not even rain. It's like drizzle rain drizzle and gray. It's like buffalo, but it spits. It's buffalo is gray

in july Yeah, two weeks straight of that shit and they start freaking the fuck out I really can't handle it. You know, they start going. Oh my god. I gotta get back to california So yeah, no, but it does it, you know, I mean it is home, you know, I mean and and the reason you know that you know It's so beautiful. It's because of that fucking rain, you know, I mean um, we have the beautiful mountains the lake the ocean, you know, I mean and uh The ocean's fucking cold. I used to live in outside beach. Fuck you those penguins are down there And those white people they love it for it to be baywatch. They're out there with the bikinis on

Trying to make it real fucking warm, but relax cock sucker. There's a penguin in the water I used to go I used to take that little ship over the breminton for the ferry. That's a motherfucker And it got stuck one time. I didn't live there fucking 19 people fell off. I used to go to the other place Was it breminton? Yeah. Yeah breminton's where the navy's at, correct? Yeah, you know, I told a thousand times that's one of the deepest points in the united states That's why the submarines are up there because they could drop right from fucking breminton What the fuck you think you're dealing with I used to love seattle and I'd be up there what you're visiting you But this warren holds up holds me back

I feel like a black man That warren holds me back in seattle. I can't go up there and get my fish Again They do not forget I'm dying to get you up here. Yeah, now let's see we gotta do it I would love for you and willing to do the little comedy tour that you guys do Love to see that man. You know what I said, you think there's a lot of kind of apology, man I got my boys that follow you, you know, I mean your podcast and You know dying to get you up. You gotta you gotta squash that you haven't really well

Here's what's going on right now. I got this awful shooter a comedy special in prison They're trying to put together as we speak and one of the things I have to take care of this warren So We're gonna squash it and I'll be able to come visit my main man Ivan fucking boom boom Salivary and shit I love you, Ivan Don't forget about your man. Thank you very much for calling today and for shouting the hello and what's the web page again

Ivan salivary and and a or you can go to my tournament Web page and that's g some x g some x.com and listen whether you're a beginner Intermediate whether you want to beat people up when you want to mug people Go God down to Ivan salivary mma learn something get your life together getting shape. He's a good dog. All right. I love you Ivan don't forget about me. Thank you so much. Stay black. All right. I'll be calling you next week to say hello big hugs to you Take it you too, brother What's up, Lee you're sitting there like somebody took your last fucking yamaha No, I'm good for anyone in seattle

It's uh Ivan salivary makes marshal art studio and it's 206 652 8381 When you go to seattle, you're gonna visit do some jumping jacks. I'm like, well, it's seattle soon We're gonna send you out a smuggle admission. I don't dive there that needs 20 pounds of mushrooms. Oh good. Yeah, that sounds You need to fucking mule you're the man. It was the last time you mule the package Never that's the fucking problem here. You know, I got nervous the one time I took weed home to Boston like the first year I was here. I brought some edibles home I got I was petrified and then I didn't eat them all in in Boston

So I was bringing them back and tsa had something I never seen before They brought like a mobile checking thing to the gate and they checked and they checked every other person in the line Getting onto the plane. They went into your bag and like I just got lucky and they picked the guy in front of me They wouldn't have found it anyway. They don't even know what that was. It was it smells like weed. It's fucking You take it out of the plastic. You take it out of the wrapper And you wrap it in something else and it says love from mom You say what the fuck mom? Maybe you don't be a cookie. Are you are you accusing me or something? Mr. TSA man? You got any music for me? Well, I have the one we're gonna we're always gonna end with but we can good

We can do this in the moment. What music you got for uncle joey. Let's see Oh, shit, what's this favorite black man? Oh shit, girl. So come on with the king. There you go. Oh Fuck Oh, shit Oh shit You like pee Oh, yeah, get your shit together. I thought you're talking about june class I ain't gonna fuck the smoke button. We wish you know more if you keep back to this one. I was uh telling leet

When I came in here that yeah It was a guy always have a good weekend as long as I got you guys and like again Don't forget testicle testaments is going on sale tomorrow the fourth one about how I got the comedy And all that shit, but I was telling leet about that I get every week I write the goals of what I'm gonna do with the work and I go to kickbox and you know Muay thai And that's fucking three of those a week kills me because you got a jump rope and all this shit And then I had the yoga and then I had this fucking weightlifting thing where I do the dolce run

And I ride the bike for a half hour, you know, there's no reason to be lifting weights. No mom big enough I'm a big fat fuck. I just need to lose some of this and get my cardio back And it's funny you mentioned it that the strong bone is helping my joints. I do Feel a big fucking difference, you know And now my wife's got me walking with the baby So we've been walking to the park and back and then we stop and go a long way and shit It's been fucking killing me man. It's fucking tough. Oh, yeah, but it's funny But when we first moved to the valley

I stayed at 270 for a long time and it wasn't the diet and it wasn't the working out You know, it was I used to walk into the train And then I would walk all the way around the neighborhood And then walk home. I would walk her at 10 to 8 and I wouldn't get home till about 9 15 It was a fucking long tremendous walk man, and I love it. I love walking I've always loved walking walking very good for you if you have nothing else matters walking is fucking great So I had a great week of working out, but sometimes I start with goals and I got my goals in order now You know now that I have the baby. I don't have much time like when I go home now

It's gonna she's gonna want to take a shower So I got the baby and then we clean and then we do it but then we go for a walk So I don't see daylight till about 9 30 again So by 9 30, I either take a nap or I go back to yoga 11 45 today And then I try to right here and there and then you know, I try to go to the ha ha tonight and do a spot I know for a fact I got two shows of flappers Friday night Uh sadly, I got something Wednesday. I'm shooting something so I will not be at the ice house with Joe and those guys I think I'm doing uh

Thursday night But I was telling Lee when I walked in leave it even though that I had to put skinny finny to to sleep this Friday my little skinny Finney My little skinny finny and I knew on Thursday. I knew Thursday because he didn't eat the ham He was if he loves fucking uh The boys had ham the deluxe slice thin. Yeah, he would go fucking nuts for it I tell the lady at Ralph slice this motherfucker thin because my cats like it And uh, it's funny because when I first met terry she had finny as a kitten and I was like

We took him on a date. We had her on a date the lake habits. So I was doing comedy That's when the car her car almost blew up. Oh, Jesus. And we took finny with us. It was a hundred the fucking And finny was a trooper and I fell in love with finny. I'm like this cat's kind of cute. You know, she was uh, uh Spoiling him at the time Really? I'm like, no, he's gonna he's not gonna be a half a fruit cake So once I moved in there, I took finny under my wing. Oh I took finny under my wing and I love finny. I mean, I I love finny, you know, if you really think about it, finny's like a son to me. Oh my god

Oh, Jesus christ almighty This is awful awful I love to go see a doctor in front like this is fucking office If you fall god If you fall like did you smell it? You don't smell clogging my nose I gotta blow it over there. You gotta love this fucking fart If I went to a doctor, he condemned my asshole, right? He just condemned it

He downed 911 and they shut my asshole down. They quarantined it Woof Good lord. I love protein powder. I love it. I'm gonna drink three of these next time I fly I'm gonna kill everybody in my fucking area. I'm gonna miss because whenever somebody farts whenever you smell a fart You look around to the fat guy anyway, you have noticed that. Yeah, of course Whenever somebody farts, you ever smell rotten ass. What do you look at? You're the first person you look like a fat chick But it was funny because friday morning I woke up And she said to me she goes he's drooling from his mouth and for about a year. He's been acting. Do you smell it?

I mean, I'm not breathing for about a year. He's been acting really weird In the sense that he's been meaner. He bit me about three months ago. You know, he's bite me hard But this time was he was being it was malice He went to rip and I got really mad at him and about two weeks ago I got really mad at him because he attacked sissy and he's always been cool with sissy I mean him and sissy have always been cool. They've always played and they fought But he attacked her a little harder. So I got pissed off at him But friday when I woke up she said listen

I'm gonna take him to the vet at two o'clock and and I played with him and I could see he was drooling He didn't want to be bothered. I didn't really say goodbye to him the proper way It seemed like she put him in a thing and he was looking at me and the baby and then he left And I knew in december he didn't have much left, but I wanted to hold on to see uh To see mercy it meant a lot for me for him to see mercy. I mean he's been around since day one That cat one night I locked that motherfucker out without his doing blow And that's all I think about when you you know when you do cocaine you get paranoid. Okay So one night

Something happened I used to snorkeling the garage and run upstairs And then shit and sit in the bathroom for like an hour jerk off and then I do the lap Like a little bit left. I always say like a little line and do it and I go out and watch tv or write jokes So what the fuck I was doing Sorry about that and uh One night I must have left something the whole way or something and he ran out into the hallway So I'm sitting by the computer. You haven't ever gone for this apartment. This is okay This is the one in hollywood the office then was off the kitchen

So you got to walk into the kitchen and then you made a left. It was a little tiny cubicle That was my little office and I had a window and like a fart there and it was tremendous and uh I'm sitting there Coked up to the fucking gills And I'm hearing you know when somebody's pushing your door. Oh, yeah I'm like, oh my god, it's the cops and I went I did the rest of the coke and I lay in bed with the sleep apnea mask I'm just waiting for the cops to kick the door down after three hours

You know, I was still paranoid in the coke nothing happened I said what the fuck it's the cat And I don't forget going out there and opening up the door and he was like From drooling and from hissing. He was just drenched in sweat. I don't know what the fuck And he just ran and he hissed at me for like three days And I never told my wife what had happened because she killed me like you walked him out coked up But I always thought about that but you've seen how tired I was when I put him in a couple of videos, right? Oh, yeah, he was in the first one. He was in the first one. Do you want to see a couple of videos?

Yeah, he was a good cat. He had been sick recently and um It was I asked you when when you told me because the dogs do it a lot But it seems like when like when they know something's going on like they'll wait until It's good for everyone like he if he like if it had happened two weeks ago when your wife was in the hospital It would have been really bad. So it's uh, she was fucking upset. I mean, she was upset just talking to me And it was funny yesterday the day before we put him down friday And friday I was okay and I think uh saturday saturday afternoon. She went to food shopping And she got ham and swiss cheese and I went to make a sandwich and

As I was making the sandwich I realized he's gone and he ain't never fucking coming back with a little skinny friday I haven't gone through that yet. I have a dog. That's about 10 or 11 and I'm I think about it every day. Are you some boisterous? Yeah, and I I don't I don't I've been like I can't get one now, but I keep thinking. Oh, maybe I'll get a dog out here I don't think I like It's having them die Just seems like it's gonna it's gonna kill me when my dog back home passes away. Oh, listen man when any animal It's funny. I told a few people and they got back to me right away. They understood how much I loved this cap

What am I gonna do? I can't get upset about it now. I knew he was coming. I got 14 years out of him Uh, and he was a good friend. He was my son. He was the only real son I ever had. Yeah If you really think I got him when he was nine months old And I had him till recently. He's a boy and uh I toughened them up, you know, I toughen them up I used to play with them really hard and kiss them and I love and I fatten them up and He lost a lot of fucking weight the last year and he went from being 18 pounds to six Whenever he was six pounds recently, whenever I would touch his back I could feel his spine

his nerves and shit And I just wish he's in a better place and he forgives us for putting them down because uh, he just had to go down But beside that on a fucking light on a light note It's Martin Luther king day God gave us another day to fucking live and we still gotta do go out there and do what the fuck we're supposed to do And grab your balls sniff your fucking fingers Get the yellow pages get the one ads and do what the fuck you gotta do today. It's a beautiful day And we gotta go out there and fucking make it happen

Like I said to you motherfuckers before do me a favor If you didn't start your little exercise routine or your health and fitness routine or just drinking water It all starts with just drinking a glass of water a day And I've been drinking a lot more water because my wife is freezing it now So she gets it out of the thing and if she puts it in the freezer Fucking delicious with little icicles in it delicious Especially when it's supposed to be 80 fucking degrees here. Finally. It's freezing for the past two weeks. I'm ready for it Ah, we deserve it out of you

But besides that it's freezing the rest of the country stay warm If you got the fucking flu take your medication stay home and get it over with Don't go out early and then get it becomes an ammonia. Take care of your health. Your health is the most important thing Fuck this and basketball games and all this shit. If you don't have your health You don't have nothing this friday january 25th I will be a flappers in burbank go to flappers.com and get your tickets today Guess what columbus ohio uncle joey's coming back bitches February 1st and 2nd at the funny bone in columbus ohio

And where else am I Lee? I don't fucking know anymore. Don't forget. That's all. Let me go. Let me check on joey kogudia. It's not there Testicle testament. It's not on there. No, I got no dates a new web page is coming If you have an email man, I replayed a lot of emails last week If you have an email you want to talk to you about something go to joey kogudia.net The uh new web page will be up next week. Hopefully the t-shirts. I got to call my man jr And get those we're gonna get some church of what's happening t-shirts for you motherfuckers So you know and beside that that's all I got for you guys. I love you always remember

Wednesday To 23rd we would be doing a podcast at four o'clock pacific I'll keep you guys more posted. It could be like 4 30 and it's going to go till six I don't know if it's going to be an every wednesday thing. We're doing it live in the nerdy studios. We're going to have my man, uh, arbery call from on it on it and we're also going to have uh My other crazy friend call the guy that just got out of prison and see what he's been doing What is life the last month since we spoke still spoke to him and that's it you bad motherfuckers a different type of Podcasts the other day. We got a little crazy. We will get crazy again for you

People it's just uh, it's monday. It's how montlut the king day a beautiful day listen to black music What do you got for me today, bro? Got uh for the last music. Yeah. All right. Here. We got some michael jackson for you Which one you got? I I had smooth criminal Where's thriller, where's thriller? All right, where's fucking thriller when you're thinking of michael jackson If you're gonna put michael jackson on you know put thriller on I was talking from a different angle fucking smooth criminal Everyone puts the thriller on you've been smelling too many of my farts. Haven't you all that delicious? I don't know if they're delicious. Uh, that's a long song. Which one is it thriller. It's a 13 minute song

Um Fucking Yeah, man, that's awesome. But uh flappers is gonna be cool Flappers is gonna be cool. They got good wings and they got delicious fucking blue cheese And I will have a few shirts there that I have at the house so come down to flappers friday night Eight and ten o'clock. We're gonna rock this motherfucker. You could smoke weed on the street. It's burbank. Just don't smoke cigarettes. It's uh a hundred dollar weed a hundred on ticket for Weed and a three hundred on ticket for cigarettes. So you make the call. No, it's free for weed

You don't get a fucking ticket house. Where's thriller jesus christ I might as well get the fucking The national anthem and yell if it's a 13 minute like it's like a fucking music video Fucking jesus christ. This is why you had to prepare. I was prepared. I had smooth criminal criminal. You fuck. Where's the reefer? This is why I gotta give you this shit again because here we go. Let's let's see where we are in the video Get up and wiggle for control. Let me see what you got. Let me see do it a little I know you came in the air. Come on. Wiggle for joy. You know one of the moves. Come on. Give me a move. Come on Oh, what are you doing? You know the move. You know the fucking move cocksucker wiggle for joy. Come on. Oh

Oh, yeah Lisa at the house the church of what's happening now. You're beautiful people Twitter facebook get your shit together wake up. It's a beautiful day to be alive. It's monday Let's make it happen bitches. But See you guys wednesday four o'clock pacific seven o'clock eastern time Direct from the nerdy studios because we love you Testicle testaments tomorrow

Wash your balls wash your ass get out there. You don't want somebody sucking your dick and they smell that maple syrup Stay black the church of what's happening now Where's michael jackson singing you got like a vision you won't get up and dance And remember pink floyd 36 years ago today animals will cover it wednesday I try