Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #017 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.cbdlion.com and enter Code: CHURCH/JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

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What's happening you bad motherfuckers Monday morning Slinging dick feeling good. It's the last day of fucking November. This month is pulled in May for UK You're fucking still on lockdown. You're on Hitler's status. What are you gonna do? It's fucking Monday It's a whole new week and you got a fucking pull you got a push fucking forward. I had a great Thanksgiving. It's crazy This is my first Thanksgiving Back in Jersey since how to be 84 Yeah, 80 fucking four. I haven't had a Thanksgiving here. So That's there with 36 fucking years and it was tremendous. I had a great time

Listen and in California. It was great. The weather was great all that Thanksgiving day would probably be 90 degrees people be jumping down But there was nobody there didn't feel it never you never felt the holidays in California It was a holiday and you gave you a significant other a kiss and you had people over But it was really tough to feel the holiday if you don't see the fucking seasons change Like I never even thought about it. You know guy like we don't give a fuck about leaves. I hate fucking leaves Fucking three weeks. We had a rake of leaves. I couldn't I did one fucking day And then my told my wife just borrowed a fucking blower and we'll blow the leaves

I hate fucking all that shit with leaves. No time. I blew leaves as a kid You blow them into the street and you make little fucking piles and you put bricks under there Tremendous and when the car comes down, boom, it hits the bricks and we would set you up We put them every 40 fucking feet So you thought you had it be and sometimes We'd let you for the first one would be free like you'd be expecting to hit a wall And it was just leaves and you go woof and you'd step on it and then we bombard you with the second wall with the leaves Come on. We need to get dealing with some fucking novice, but

Once you see all that stuff the leaves changing you just see the process of it. It just felt like it I Had a great day. I started out. I want to see my one brother was wife died. I Went down to Tom's River was fucking 70 degrees Am I lying Mikey? It was fucking 70 degrees at lunchtime when I got down there I brought like this fucking hooded sweatshirt. I take it off. We're sitting outside. I saw got the saw the lady who raised me For a few years. I got the saw my brother Mike The brothers the sister, you know, we sat around for about an hour But I wasn't eating there. We were just gonna meet there as a little hub

Say hello to each other 11 30 we sat there from about 11 30 till about 1 15 Just saying war stories. My brother looks great. God bless him and I got in the car and I went to Jackson my other brother was and that's where my wife and daughter were and We just it was just a fucking Great time and no buddy talking about Instagram Nobody talking about fucking auditions Nobody talking about what you said on Twitter. Nobody nobody even mentioned the fucking movie Nothing. It was just regular just talking

That was it my daughter got bombarded playing with dogs one of the dogs knocked her over Everywhere, she went she got a little fucking toy and then we were headed home I was just telling Mike the last three nights. We've been at the like 10 o'clock at night. It's been like a fucking different life for us here That was Thursday on the way home the Florentines like over here waiting at 7 30 We went over there and it was still fucking a party going on over there So we're still nice out that night. It was still cool. We just played outside The kids played some ball a little bit. We just the parents talked some shit outside Some of his brothers was there and I came home me and my wife looked at each other like that was fucking great

That was fucking great, you know Friday. I had to take my daughter to a kickboxing camp From 10 to 3 she was in kickboxing, which freed me and my wife up We did a little lunch because it was our anniversary Wednesday. We couldn't go anywhere So we took a little fucking lunchy pool, you know, we drove around we got the hang out So that was nice three o'clock my fucking daughter. My wife tells me at 12. She's like, oh, by the way I hope you're on your own for dinner tonight because we're going out some girl around the corner invited us over Christine for Thanksgiving for kids So we're gonna be there till fucking eight o'clock at night. I was like Jesus christ

These guys are doing more than we did. They're doing more now than we've ever done in our fucking lives And saturday and sunday were fucking, uh, you know off the fucking charts to saturday She had to go to kickboxing from kickboxing. I took it to the fucking park from the fucking park We went somewhere else from there. We met some friends and went to fucking Eat and then from there we went over to jimmy florentine's brother to watch live jimmy florentine's live show last night I'm happy that you guys, uh, downloaded. I tweeted up the link for you We went over there saturday night and watched that till fucking 10 o'clock and then sunday we went to fucking

Great adventure to the fucking outdoor with the animals and shit like that. It's a scary situation. It just never stops But this is how a family lives You know, usually I'd be getting home on a fucking sunday. I hadn't missed all the Thanksgiving Last year on this weekend. I was in fucking Miami And this week coming up it was my it was a year ago this friday When all knew you mother fucking bad new yorkers New jerseys and you brooklyn cocksuck has converted on town hall and we sold out two fucking shows What a difference a fucking year makes what a fucking difference

A year makes last week. We were all getting ready for friday night at town hall Saturday night at the fucking will but we were getting fucking ready now I'm getting ready for dick this week. I'm getting ready for that Maybe the release of some new fucking christmas movie or some shit, which the movies are closed But listen guys, we got our fucking health We got each other, you know, a lot of people getting covid so please Be careful take care of yourself You know a listen everything is a corvoidial situation anymore

Because you don't know where the fuck you're gonna get it But if you leave the house put your fucking mask on I don't I don't give a fuck I was listening to ozzy's bonyard. Oh, by the way, thank you for all the support On ozzy's bonyard. I blew myself away with the songs I picked I must ate eight quailos that night because I was fucking brain dead during the day I just didn't know how to act This is my first time ever on ozzy's bonyard and I didn't know how to fuck the act I didn't know if I could go wild. I didn't know if I could talk about eating assholes

I didn't know what I could talk about. So I tried to keep it As mild as I could and I gave you the best songs I could I couldn't believe they kept rotten apple By fucking allison chains, you know, I pushed I pushed about I Listen, I listen to ozzy's bonyard a lot, you know, I listen to ozzy's bonyard lithium I mean, I'm a fucking serious xm guy I'm studio 54 octane I listen to fucking everything

And I wanted to play songs I'd never really heard on there before You know, I've heard soul stripper on there before I haven't heard animal magnetism on there before I haven't heard a lot of this shit that I played on there before so Listen a little fucking tap on my back for once Because I think I did okay. Let me get the fucking one of these flies off my shoulder here I still got one. I found one of these flies the other day I'm in the box. He just flew out of the fucking box But I love you fucking guys for supporting me and tonight is the last play at 6 p.m. Eastern

So if you want to give me one more little piece of support Ozzy's bonyard at 6 p.m. Eastern, you know what I don't even know the other told me that The other night they told me to go play that one in the morning saturday Sunday morning I get in the car to take a ride And there I my voice is on like what the fuck am I doing on here sunday morning? So I never know when the fuck it's on Enjoy it if you hear it. Thank you for listening to the whole thing through Don't just hear three fucking songs and throw my algorithms off cocksucker

Once you put it on sit that he has gross roots and hear it all the way to the end. No fucking embarrassed me cocksucker but even I was listening to the Ozzy's bonyard had an interview this week with billy sharing I think that's his name and he interviews Ozzy Osbourne. They do some Pretty fucking great stuff and they were talking about california and the fires You know, uh, who the fuck knows I forget what I was gonna tell you now But I just want to thank you for supporting me on Ozzy's bonyard and it was funny

There was an event that happened this weekend that really made me think about Just my life and what made me turn out how I did I don't know I told you motherfuckers. I got a thousand stories The only problem is two thousand. I can't tell this one. I could tell you know way A lot of people who see me now

That are a little older than me always go to me. Wow, you know, it's It's great to see you. You know, it's great to see you become a man He goes all I remember is you with that fucking Jew fro Bouncing that fucking ball. That's what people always say to me bouncing that fucking ball bouncing that fucking ball Doug, I love basketball, you know, but I want to get a story out that a lot of people don't know and I don't want to I hate when people blame marijuana for everything. You're all right I lost my car keys and some jerk off will say stop smoking pot. It's ruining your brain. Shut the fuck up It's always marijuana. Don't blame marijuana around me. It's not the reason why

uh A lot of people get confused about me they think that After my mother died is when I went off to deep end a little bit And I gotta tell you something guys. I disagree with that I was going off to deep end a little before my mother died and there was just a series of events that I didn't know how to handle as a young man that happened to look to me No, no boy scops raped me and nothing like that. I was very fortunate. I'm just talking about

life has a weird way of fucking You know I'm just showing up on you you I My struggle in my life. Listen the first church of what's happening now was About me telling and leave my stories To if you look at it in a fucking Micro way

It was me telling me like my stories as a young man So he could grow up into something better. That's what The church was about. Okay With uncle joey's joint without a guest. It's basically about the actions. I did why I did them You know, let's go and check on these things Because I'm just once I came back to jersey. I changed You know, we all change every seven years. We've talked about that, but I gotta be honest with you We've changed during this fucking pandemic

We've changed our views on a couple things We got to see things we didn't we hadn't seen in a long time. We got to visit things in our mind We didn't get to visit a few times, you know, I was talking to josh wolf the other day when we were talking about conny material And he asked me what I was gonna do with my material from march Was I still doing it? And I told him I was still doing it, but it's not who the fuck I am anymore He was talking about a particular bit. I was doing and I'm like I've been running the bit lately at uncle venny's but

It's not who I am anymore. I gotta start from scratch again Like whatever the fuck we were in march. We're just not the same fucking person no more I don't give a fuck what you think somewhere along the line. We got jaded a thing called jaded Okay, that's when something happens and we lose little trust towards towards things For some people was trust towards their employers For some people was trust towards the system For every everybody lost something during this pandemic here and we feel a little jaded like somewhere along the line somebody

Could have done a little better, but you know, you can't sit there all year like point your fingers at fucking people Sometimes we have to accept what we do and what happens around this and how we respond and how we fucking react so When I was a kid I got thrown out of that counter school My mother sat me down and she told me we had two situations on the table We could do it her way Or we could do it my way if we did it My way first

It was fine, but the first time I slipped I was done. I was have to do it back to her way And that was military tactics That was uh, you know getting searched And thousands other fucking rules that would have been put in place I decided to play it my own way The first thing life did to me once I got out of cap the school Well, what what life does to everybody?

You know, everybody gets that first fucking ass kicking and it's called from a thing called love We all get beat up by love each one of your people that are watching this Whether you're male or a female and count the love at some young age and you get the shit knocked out It doesn't work out well for you at one point or another You know, I know 90 percent of the people watching this fucking podcast have somewhere along the line Had a you know a year off Because there's something for the first heartbreak we've ever had, you know, maybe we were cheated on Maybe we lied to

You know, we all watched with these fucking romantic comedies and think we're gonna show up just like that splash A chick's gonna show up out of the ocean and be a mermaid and I'm gonna fall in love with her for the rest of my life Little did she tell you that she's got a brother who's a junkie A fucking she used to be a hooker, but a pussy fellow, you know, they got a thousand stories But but that's that that's not the point here. The point is here that when I was like in the sixth grade, I I fell in love with this fucking girl and You know, the towards the end of the sixth grade

When I first went to McKinley my first year, I felt very insecure You know, the only thing that had me a little secure. There was some Cuban kids in the class You know, so I felt a little bit more secure at McKinley, but my insecurity fucking levels were completely off I was a martial artist at the time at that age And the whole thing going on to the sixth grade. I just my insecurity levels were at all time low And then that summer I Started hanging out with these guys and you know, we were robbing trains and whatever and I Still didn't have an identity

But from things that I did it gave me an identity I had to be the craziest one out of the crew To obtain any type of identity. So he started calling me crazy cocoa Whatever the fuck they were calling me, you know, and I ended up falling in love with this little young girl you know, when you're a kid you fall in love with girls and uh At the time I wasn't As popular as the other kids or whatever. So the girl pulled me aside

and she told me that She couldn't date me during the school year That she would have to wait till the summer. That's how stupid I was. That's that's that's just That's what a girl tells you when you're fucking in the sixth grade That same girl is the girl at the strip club that tells you to meet her at Denny's after the ship's over And you go to Denny's with your three asshole buddies and wait for her and she never shows up Well, that's the same thing that happened to me at the end of the fucking

Seventh grade She told me that she didn't want to fucking be my girlfriend. She wasn't ready for it yet and First of all just falling in love with the girl My schoolwork went from A's all the way down to D I mean, I couldn't focus on anything else but this girl. I couldn't wait to be around her You know, we don't know we don't know anything about love. So we We we act out what we see in movies. I always showed up with flowers to a house

I had to take a grandma to the movie theaters when I was a fucking kid Fuck that bitch today. I would have never taken nobody's grandma to the movie theaters and sat there with the grandmother in between I had to do the whole fucking thing deal guys and then She tells me she doesn't want to be my fucking girlfriend And then that summer fucking School I did so bad with my grades the whole fucking year. I had to go to summer school But she drove me crazy and we were in his if only thing guys I got no reason to lie to you guys

There was no sex involved If she would have gave me a taste of her pussy my head would have probably blown up I would have moved out in the fucking house. This was just sucking tits and dry humping That's how weak of a fucking kid. I was she this was just love I was just in love with her And the fucking uh, you know the sixth grade going into seventh grade came I thought we were gonna go into the eighth grade together, but I got left back You know how bad you feel when you're insecure

You're fucking spanish You got like eight strikes again. Yeah, now you get left back It was the fucking most humiliating Thing in my life. You know what the most humiliating thing about it? It wasn't getting left back It wasn't her breaking my heart It was that I was smart There was no reason me to get left back. I was a smart fucking kid just off the cuff smart

How can I get left fucking back? It was fucking infuriating for me It was infuriating for me. Thank god They put me in a guy's classroom that his name was john burrow The only thing I had to get me out of that left back hole and that broken heart the only three things I had were music karate

and a thing called basketball I fucking went to karate I listened to the music some of the music that you guys are getting on the music review right now the album of the week And I played basketball like it was a commitment. I got that girl out of my fucking head One way or another And I committed my life to fucking basketball If there was a drill you could do to get better. I did it if there was a book you could buy I fucking did it. I got a list of all the acc colleges all my favorite coaches

at the time the coach of north carolina dean smith and The guy from fucking duke and the guy from george attack And I wrote the more handwritten letters And told him to send me their fucking workouts of what their kids were doing in college And I stuck to that workout. I had heard a rumor that jerry west Before the day even started shot 300 fucking free throws a day Just to get the day started and that's what I started doing winter spring Summer a fucking fall if it snowed out me and my gorilla buddies would go there with a fucking ice pick

And a shovel and we'd shovel the courts Put fucking on our own pockets by ice That fucking shit that they put on the fucking ice And we'd melt the ice and we'd play basketball with a fucking basketball that the oxygen was frozen in The ball wouldn't even bounce That's how much I loved fucking basketball. I did everything I could And then guess what happened the seventh grade. I had more fucking heartache We went 0-7. We were the fucking dormant of the fucking league

Me a kid named chuckie mcgreen that's a head coach of rambo state college I just spoke to him thursday. He's one of my brothers in life We're brothers to the end his brother bruce Uh, you know, we played back. I mean they taught me everything of chuckie mcgreen schooled me, you know, he had gone to booze basketball camp So I he talked me into going to willis reed basketball camp I went to booze basketball camp with my man rafa fuso. We still talking on the phone too 40 fucking 50 years later

I did everything I could I went into that eighth grade and our fucking goal was to be at least Five and fuck there was seven games. So if we could be Seven games, so if we could be fucking four and three I would be fucking a static at least we paid a played above 500 ball But then we couldn't find the fucking coach And a coach wouldn't fucking coaches So I turned to mr. Barone. Now the reason why mr. Barone is so significant in this story is because Barone and I didn't like each other when I was in mr. King was class to the point where the first day of seventh grade

They put me in his classroom Because they they said, you know, if you definitely go on the eighth grade You sit upstairs with an eighth grade classroom But if you're gonna go into If he is going to summer school, you're definitely not going to the eighth grade. So you have to sit In the other seventh grade class or you're gonna be in next year dog for those four hours He tormented me. He goes, how's it gonna Feel sitting next to me every fucking day. I'm gonna fucking torture you

You blew it over a girl. I was living so when I got up to leave I saw his car keys were on the desk With his house keys and a bunch of other keys I took the fucking car keys and I threw him away in the fucking garbage Out of the dumpster and shit two hours later. I'm on my bike I'm on my block hanging out with my friends and I see his Nissan a Toyota car Coming up the hill and he's like, where the fuck are the rest of my keys? You fucking scumbag You're gonna fail. We went at it. We had no argument in the middle of the street

But here's where it fucking turns I go into the seventh grade. I I you know, uh Failed out of summer school. I failed out of summer school So guys, listen, I was I had BTL on my fucking forehead I was born to lose and here the whole time this is going on. My mother doesn't know anything about this I'm keeping this as hush hush as you fucking can at the house. Okay? Nobody knows nothing about nothing So now I go to summer school. I'm over there happy with the combine Balzano crew You know, his crew has got power up at the school, you know, maybe he could do something for me. I'm fucking around

I'm playing hooky from summer school to hook up with the girl that broke my heart How much of an ass all in mine and after four days they came to me and so listen, you had more than three absences We got to throw you out of summer school and I'm like, yeah, but I got plans. I'm like, well, he ain't great I'm like, we don't know what type of plans you got. You didn't go to summer school. We can't move you forward I went to Carmine I went to other people that I knew at the township and they were like Uh, you didn't go to summer school We can't fucking help you

So I still remember walking into Barone's class that day in the seventh grade And I'm like, I'm walking into a kids class A guys class that fucking hates me for stealing his keys I might get left back again just out of principle. I might spend my whole life in the fucking seventh grade I went in there man and the reason why me and mr. Barone are still dear friends is He never said nothing about it Somewhere in his mind we started from zero And I didn't know I was a fucking just dumb kid. I didn't know where to go in my mind

So I just went along with the fucking flow. I didn't say much I did what I had to do. He made a remark at me from time to time But it was never the way our relationship was before And then to the grace of god something I found out that fucking he uh he uh I found out that he fucking uh Uh Was in the basketball

hall of fame So I want to be a fucking great basketball player but my nemesis The guy I hate the guy that I threw away his keys the guy that tormented me Is in the basketball hall of fucking fame I found this out in conversation. So I said fuck this So I didn't want to embarrass him at the school I didn't want to really pull him over at the school because I didn't really want anybody to know I like this motherfucker

I was still playing the off like I didn't like this motherfucker. So I got on a fucking bus And I shot up the 90th street where he lived at the time And I remember walking down the hill and you know I took the fucking phone and his address and his phone number from the yellow pages There was no internet. You had to go on the yellow pages and hope that person Paid the service because back then either you paid Not to be in the book or you paid to be in the yellow book. I don't know don't quote me. It doesn't matter You're like joey. What's the yellow page anyway? That doesn't matter doesn't matter. There's an old man talking to you

I actually went to his house like a man Right there 12 years old I knocked on his door He answered like You're the last person that should be on my fucking doorstep And I was like mr. Barone I want you to teach me about basketball because he had a basketball right in front of his house And he fucking looked at me like

Kid you got some fucking parent balls And he goes let me go upstairs and put on my sneakers His his younger brother had been on north bergen state championship team So he came downstairs and right away. We just went over fundamentals. We went over a bunch of shit You know, I talked to him a little bit about college ball. I mean I talked to him a little bit about high school ball You know, I wanted to see what I was getting myself into but it was just like stand-up comedy You know like when I look back at my basketball career and how I fucking dove myself in it It's like stand-up. I got a job at coonies a club called witson in, uh, colorado

And I watched and I watched fucking comedy from february So I finally got some balls between my legs and went up on stage on july 19th So I knocked on this guy's door. He fucking helped me with basketball And brother that night I went home and I committed myself to basketball I did everything I had to do. I lifted fucking weights I used to sit on the wall like you you put your back against the wall and just sit there To strengthen my legs

I would run at night at mckinley school with a girl named captain moran We're still dear friends when we get together at night and just do court cross country fucking running And I would play basketball eight to ten fucking hours a day If in the summers my days started at eight I would take my bike and ride up to the fucking projects and take 300 jump shots Just like fucking jerry west. I mean, I was all Fucking in going into the eighth grade as a matter of fact the summer of me going into the eighth grade Was 77 I found out about different camp that was going on in jergy city called stupid superstar

Basketball camp and it was run by bob hurley Billy and danny's fucking father the guy that fucking brought the hurley brothers into the fucking world Because he called st. Anthony's a jersey city So I went down to his camp And that was the week that fucking eldest presley died august of 77 Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with and I went down to this camp and in my category I went outstanding rebound Listen guys

That meant more to me that had taken me out of the fucking shallows of the grave I was in between the catholic school thing The fucking the girl who broke my heart Getting left back the fucking sunday school. See listen guys I tell you about all the good things I never tell you about the bad things because I didn't want to be listen If you want to violin, I'll be a violin

I'll sit here hour after hour every week and just play a violin for you of all the bad shit that happened But I just talked to you about the good stuff that happened because we don't Need to know about the bad shit that happened, but it's time that I came out with the bad shit that happened It was bad. It was bad my fucking and this is way before my mom died I don't want you guys to say, you know, I did a podcast After that whole thing with that. I'm not going to tell you who I did a big time podcast and With with the thing with the videotape when I said that the Tony chicks suck my dick

And I meant that the same chick suck my dick 20 times the same retarded chick It wasn't 20 different retards. It's who would suck my dick. You have to be fucking retarded Especially at that time in 97, but after I said that I'm like, I don't even know what we're talking about like that's how fucking I'm fire I am The name you didn't put it out. No, so I did this fucking podcast with a guy that's a popular guy and You know, he was trying to blame my life on my mom's death

Listen, if you want me to sit here and play a violin for you and tell you the reason why I did coke The reason why I stole The reason why I became a criminal and the reason why I threw somebody in a trunk of a car Was because of the death of my mother if you want to buy that I'll tell you that If that's what you want to buy that's what you've been by That's the story you've been buying from every fucking hooker with a fucking has a heartbreak story Every hooker has a heartbreak story. If you want to buy that story

That went downhill after my mother died you buy you buy that story But that's a complete bullshit and I never sold it that way either. That's a complete bullshit story I my decline Was descending before my mother died And it was because of the story I'm about to tell you So everything I did in my life was to be a better basketball player On the weekends, I smoked a little bit of pot. I was a fucking top athlete I went to karate every fucking day

So on top of my basketball on top of and I delivered newspapers And I fucking went to my mother's bar and had to help her with shit every day So my days were filled. I would go to basketball practice deliver papers Walk up the hill to my mom's bar help, huh? And then do a 730 karate fucking class I've always been a fucking animal. Nothing's ever fucking been handed to me yet. You gotta work. You gotta get out in the fucking mood So I want the fucking Superstar basketball camp. I want our standing rebounder of the fucking week and you guys could check this all out with mr

Hurley you contact the guy named jim haig That I was on his podcast. He's a sports writer For the jerseys from north bergen jersey city guy great guy with the st. Peter's prep. I think I know all those guys I want the five star basketball camp. That's how we got finkels camp. That's one of the best camps in the country I went there with uh fairly dickinson universities coach greg horrenda We go back deep motherfuckers. This was a different joey koko dears This is way before stand-up. This was way before fucking people got put in a trunk of a car This is way before his mom died and it became a junkie. This was just when I was regular joey koko dears trying to fucking make it across

Yeah, I was embedded in the carman balzano house So the word got out so that helped me a little bit to get across But I was earning my strengths on my fucking own Nobody was giving me dick Once I fucking won the outstanding rebound that hurley's fucking joy I went into the eighth grade. We were we were fucking spot on to win it. It was me This kid chucking McBreen this kid dave ruiz I forget who the center was and we had a kid that just transferred in from new york

His name when he was dominican His name was louis anandes and like I've told you about thousand times No disrespect since he was the only person with an afro within a 10 mile radius They just gave him the name louis and they that was it and then no disrespect nothing racist I don't want fucking Black Lives Matter marching on my house. We're talking about 1978. It was a different time in this country. Do you understand me? So relax get your fucking

Put away your petitions So i'm fucking right away. Let's sign a petition Joey said the animal I didn't mean to like that. I'm just saying what his nickname was at the time Louis anandes had legs That was it. That was it. I forgot to tell you the front row was me Louis and dave that was the two forwards and the center And the two guards were chucking McBreen who today is the coach Head coach at ramham post state college and this kid by the name of anthony bousanna

How's that one for you? So it was us Fucking five. We're gonna start and our plan was to take that fucking league apart But fucking september david ruiz shows up and tells us that His father got a job downtown And he's got a transfer to fucking kennedy school So that ruined our fucking plans. We had a couple of no idea. I still remember mr. Barone Calling him benedict donald's right to his face in the classroom The two months that he had to sit there before he moved he would just talk purposely call him benny

Benny benny and david go. What did I do benny? Don't even say a word benny benedict donald benny so Dave ruiz is a great kid. God bless. I know he still lives in the area I haven't spoken to him in years. So david ruiz goes to kennedy school And now it's me. Louis Hernandez I can't remember who he uses the center And uh, we had fucking chucky and anthony fucking bousano And we had a great season. We had a great time. We ended up going four and three

Four and fucking three was a winning record and his what happened First we had a coach and then he quit peter where quick because he couldn't pass the background check I don't even think they did a background check back then. I think he just raped too many kids in the world I haven't gotten around yet. I don't I don't fucking know what he did. He was a good guy He was a great guy. I shouldn't even have thrown that rape joke in he was a great guy something happened He just couldn't get it together and then we had this guy joe the german who was a racist motherfucker And we were we got implied this more to the story We'll touch on it later and shit joe the german and then he got fired and then

Mr. Barone who wasn't a coach at the time He was just a seventh grade teacher We do the thing where we went outside in front of the high school And he was walking out of the high school. He just happened to bump into us While we were out there doing our thing and we went over some plays. Do you know what I mean? There was no basketball rim around But he just told us plays we should do It was plays based on numbers or one to five series

Whatever the fuck it was And we ended up going four and three at the same time I played for st. Michael's and cyl For union city. That's why I gave a shout out To uh, whatever when he died tommy heintzen a couple weeks ago He had gone to that seat the reason why I played for st. Michael's cyl Was because of tommy heintzen He led the county in scoring blah blah blah blah blah I had options I could have played for st. Augustine's in union city

Or I could have played for our lady of fathom and north bergen But I went with st. Michael's Because for a lot of people who know st. Michael's was the saint who batted fucking Whatever The devil whoever converted the devil out of fucking hell and in other words, he's fucking or goon So I ended up going to st. Michael's into the plane We had a green fucking, you know, we had to be like leprechauns or some shit I don't know what the fuck we were

But uh, it was a great experience throughout my eighth grade year and I was being curated. I was being cultured I was going to be a fucking A great add-on to any of the schools I went to Whether it was going to be north bergen Or whether it was going to be st. Anthony's You're looking at a guy that was being Spoken to to go to st. Anthony's in jersey city one of the top high school basketball fucking schools in the fucking country You guys could call dan hurley

Do whatever you want. Everybody knew this. It was me from north bergen. They were looking at me Why deal down and chuckie fucking mcbree? They were looking at us three. We were getting invited to different aAU games I played on the st. Anthony's aAU team and a guy named mandy johnson A bunch of us. I mean everything was looking like I was going to go to st. Michael st. Anthony's But I knew if I went to st. Anthony's I wasn't gonna lie to you. I was gonna I was gonna sit the bench I was gonna probably be a pretty good seven till the sixth man maybe an eighth guy

But I wasn't gonna start they had talent from all over the fucking state I decided just to go to north bergen. I go limit St. Anthony's is great for my resume But my mother had some produced any pictures of any of my cousins being over six feet So before my mother produces one of those pictures of one of my cousins at over six feet But she kept telling me my dad was six for four So your dad's six for four before he died. He you you got a chance at this basketball shit But I wanted to see pictures of other cousins that were over six feet and she couldn't produce none of them

So I ended up going to mckinley. I had a good height I'm the height I am now as a freshman five ten and a half I was lanky, but I could do something that a lot of people couldn't do I could fucking rebound I could rebound 38th street basketball court was not a 10 foot court It was nine feet 10 inches It was missing two inches to be a complete 10 foot court and I was just missing slam dunking on it That's how high of a jumper I was I had worked on my legs so much

I got a bicycle I would put the bike basketball in between The front tire and that little space and I would pedal up top up my heels 20 times I would walk around with fucking spots around my ankles They're one of the worst things you go where those weights you wear around your ankles I would run with those things they separate The front of the fucking knee from the knee. Oh, that's what they told us then who gives a fuck. I look like some fucking Uh, whatever the fuck some fucking train at the I'm not a train. I'm just telling you what they told me But I actually did all those things. I worked really fucking hard

Now that eighth grade basketball was fucking done My eyesight was on a freshman year I was going north bergen and I was fucking starting and I was going to start my four years And I was going to go to a great college. I had inspirations up the ass I had a kid named michael corn out of jersey city who started not went not played Not fucking wore t-shirt started for north carolina The tar he'll started his freshman year. I had a fucking beat that who the fuck starts

At north carolina their freshman fucking year michael jordan. That's who starts but another guy michael corn Michael somebody got hurt in the middle of the season Oh, corn started playing as a freshman and they fucking made him play and he fucking started them And then in the nc double a finals against unlv. He fucking scored 30 points or something like that against fucking Uh, I forgot the guy tried. He was a great basketball player. He could shoot fully Footers. I swear to god this guy could make 30 footers with his eyes shut shut

But 10 years ago. He tried to shoot himself with a 22. He put in his heart and he missed. What good are you? You know what i'm saying? Can you believe this shit? His name was glen gonjosek. He played for the nicks He was six foot five white guy tougher than death. I give him and his whole family props They were out of bold to colorado. That's how small that's how small my fucking circle runs My jimmy runs. He was out of fucking colorado uh I fucking you know respect for them whatever but that

Anyway, michael quaren started So My career already had an outlook. I had a goal I didn't know anything about goals that i'm not gonna tell you i was writing goals back when i wasn't writing no fucking goals my goal was to Go to high school Start my freshman year Play varsity my sophomore year not start

Hopefully start. This is very embarrassing to tell you guys this But this is my plan Start my junior year Start my senior year be all county And hopefully end up going to division one school That was my that would have kept my mom off my tail That would have kept everybody off my tail. The problem was I would have started telling my mom my senior year

My junior year that I wasn't graduating something must have happened I would have had to come up with a lie because my mother had never known That I had fucking Gotten left back. I didn't have the balls to tell her it would have broke around the inside My mother knew I was smarter than that. I knew I was smarter than that But because I did not hear the fucking system I got fucking left back. So everything I had in me was headed That was the plan freshman year start

Sophomore year start var. I'll play varsity Not start Knock on wood if I was that good. I'd love to start my sophomore year Because then you got there's nothing but up and then junior and senior year all county all state And I could have gone me myself myself checking me green Why do you don't look at all gone to division one schools? That was the fucking plan. Okay Towards the end of my fucking eighth grade year

our dear friend and Shooting guard anthony basano died That deflated me a little bit. I still continued to play I wore My fucking wristbands with his numbers in it whatever number he was In grandma's school. I think it was 32 that cocksucker beat me to julie servings number before I could do it and uh I fucking my whole eighth grade summer that's all I did

no girlfriends a little bit of reefer I uh Played basketball every fucking day And if I went up to union city to my mama's bar, I did whatever the fuck I had to do up there But I also went to gilmore and played basketball in union city. That was the hot basketball court. That's where good basketball players Fucking went at that time. I was also going to hoboken the fourth street park Taking my ass down there where there was some hooping and shit

Two guys one guy was going to Boston. I did everything I could to prepare For freshman year not to have any problems. I didn't want any fucking problems I was starting my freshman year with no fucking hassles Freshman comes a freshman year comes a long school starts I go up there. They're pushing me to play football They're like you got to do something you got to do something to go into the basketball and then it goes your best bet is to play football

Because one of the defensive coaches Is that basketball coach and if you go in that way you get the fucking talk to him that way And now by the time basketball season comes, he'll know you and you'll be a basketball player That was an option for me That was an option for me, but you know what? I wasn't a football player. I was a basketball player. I had trained hard I had worked hard to be a fucking basketball player and that's all I wanted to fucking do So instead of playing football, you're ready for this one? Grab your seats cock suckers sit down

I ran cross country track They gave me some sneakers some red fucking sweatsuits And it made me go to Hudson County Park At first they tried to make me a high herd look because I could jump really well But my speed wasn't any good. I was always quick not fast big difference Being quick and being fast is two different fucking Things some people could do a 4.3 fucking 40. I can't take nearly two years to do a 40

But can I get to that location a certain amount of time? You bet your ass so I get the freshman year They want me to play fucking basketball. I tell them to suck my dick out of football I tell them to suck my dick. I'm gonna be a basketball player I lifted weights. I did everything I could I come November 15th I fucking tried out for basketball

Everything I made the team my name was on the list I'm looking to fucking start, you know, they did a couple of weeks. I mean The coach's name was Dan read and he was a good basketball coach um He opened up the year focusing on defense For the first two weeks of practice, you did not touch a ball You did sprints You did fucking sprints

And you did more sprints. You did guerrilla drills That's where you fucking walk around like a guerrilla practice on your defense And we worked on cutting off fucking baselines Cutting off passing lines Cutting off running lines cutting off all routes. That's what we focused on To me I could handle it. I could do whatever the fuck you wanted me to do I was agile. I was quick, you know, I could shoot I could rebound I had fucking heart, you know, or I thought I had heart

Well, you know what after the first three or four weeks We started putting the fucking teams together And I wasn't starting But what are you saying? I was like on the third team of reserves I wasn't starting. I wasn't on the second team. I was on the third team of reserves It was mind-boggling Yeah, I had been hurt over the left back. Yes, I'd been brokenhearted by the girl

Yes, you know, I had other things that were not working out for me as a young teenager But not to fucking start When I could wipe my ass with everybody else on that fucking court I mean, I was worlds amongst those other guys on that fucking court Except for Chuckie Whitey, Mahoney, we all knew together Everybody else I could run with and fucking jump higher than I had more balls with This guy wouldn't say it I thought

He wants me to earn it I got nothing wrong with earning anything I'll stick it out two three more weeks by the time the Christmas tournament starts I'll be starting There was a Christmas tournament. I didn't even play in the fucking game I mean, there was games where I would just dress up and not get put in You have no idea the heartache I had that The fucking heartache I was going through and the fucking embarrassment

Was fucking painful, Jack People were coming up to me going what the fuck is going on? Why isn't this guy starting yet? And every time somebody would ask me that it would fucking Buried me into a Fucking deep a fucking predicament I ended up, you know the school the basketball season

Started in You know november of 78 and we were done by probably january of 79 And I was done I was fucking heartbroken I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to face my friends I didn't know how to face my the coaches. I didn't know how to face myself, you know It affected me so much That a month after fucking basketball, I quit karate. I quit karate february 19th

1979 on my fucking birthday And I quit karate because I wanted to do drugs See with the beat the the jocks I hung out with we got high once maybe twice a week We did a couple fucking joints busted out the vizane, but then With karate they were more nerds We would go to china town. We would do shit like that on the weekends. We never really fucking Uh got high

the pain From that basketball and from that coach from danny reedon And from what I had just experienced was just too much it was ready to start partying and Shortly after that like this was uh, february of 79 I hit the number on my birthday for 5 000 bucks and within two weeks I got into the drug selling business. I was selling a little weed A little masculine a little acid by the summertime. I was doing phc crystal of 79 and

My mother ended up dying that november of 79 and I never really Got back into basketball after that and it's always been a heartbreak of mine and this weekend Uh You don't have to word down to my friend bobby bendis house and uh Her mother, you know, his mother-in-law was like all I remember you is This is a kid with an afro and a fucking basketball and I was like wow and then to top it off

Sunday yesterday I got a text not a text message an email from a friend of mine in florida that said that he had lost my number And he had just gotten an email from a friend of mine or from a web page or something And that he wanted to reconnect with me to give him a call. I was really excited I had wondered about this guy. I had lost all his information. We haven't spoken about seven years And uh, when I called him back He goes the reason why I was calling you was he goes I went to a Pool thing today and I bumped into a kid

And we started talking And the kid sounded like you he goes he was from union city or something like that He told me what the kid's name, you know, the kid's name was rudy or whatever And he goes, uh, we didn't talk about he goes that the kids said They were talking and he said that he knew me for the last Couple of years since basketball

But the kid rudy said no I know him since he's a fucking kid And he goes a lot of people don't know about joey Diaz A lot of people don't know was That he was a really really really good ball player Really good. He could have gone to college. He could have done great but The powers to be the coaches talked them that yet

The coaches just didn't that coach, you know Listen between you and I I always knew that coach rocked me I always knew He didn't like me I pulled him over a couple times and tried to talk to him And he would always make some snide remarks And after my mother died I wanted to fucking

I wanted to fucking kill him, you know, I was like fucking I'm gonna go back and Knock the fuck out of him or do whatever the fuck it is. I'm gonna do that And I remember when I came back here in 91 I drove by the bar where he used to hang out and I thought it was time to go in there and fuck him up a little bit for what he had done, but He didn't do anything It was me who did it to myself by not fucking I was a good player, but I wasn't the best player

I wasn't a good defensive player I would always let you pass me and try to steal the ball from you On the side yet yada yada yada yada whatever the fucking bullshit was It ate away at me for years then my mother's death happened and then That quitting basketball shit ate away at me And there was only one fucking redemption And that redemption came on July 16th 1991

That was a day I got on stage That was the only chance I had of redeeming myself. So all those years Well, I thought the pain of me getting high was about my mother And it was about my father and it was about the situation And I was blaming the world for all my problems And I was fucking not taking responsibility for my actions And in my world, it was always somebody else's fault and that situation was ridden's fault

And because of that, he's gonna die or I'm gonna hit him with a stick or I'm gonna get people to hit him All these reasons why no They all came to me when I walked off that stage July 16th 1991 But if I was gonna do this, I was gonna commit to it The same way I was gonna commit to the way I did basketball But this time I wasn't gonna let nobody control my fate. There weren't gonna be no motherfucking coaches, bitch

I wasn't gonna be the fucking coach. I was gonna be the commander The captain Kirk at the enterprise and this is why this happened this comedy I've had enough time to think about this And this kid hitting me this weekend was the final piece In that puzzle, you know, I've had a lot a lot of time to reflect on shit here You know, I know what comics are going through right now a lot of comics are having a hard time Not financially They're having a hard time what their life used to be and what their life was

Me when I kissed that fucking comedy store goodbye In august, I knew it was probably the last time I would see the building Am I saying that close? No, no, I'm not saying anything like that. What I'm saying is I kissed that whole part of my life goodbye but I Take it back to the lesson I learned

When I was 13 and 14 about quitting something You don't quit something Because somebody puts a lid on you You quit when it's your fucking turn to quit when it's your time to quit when you're content with the job that you've done That's when you fucking quit I quit calm. I quit basketball because Oh, the pieces didn't go my fucking joey's way. So he's gonna fag out as usual And fucking quit. Thank god. I didn't have the same

Pussiness when I got in the fucking comedy. I don't know what made me tell you guys this story today But I feel that people You know in weird places The holidays are here. It's gonna make you think about your future And it's gonna make you think about what things you want to do You're looking at the job you have now And you're seeing how secure it is Do do I have a future doing this?

Am I gonna be replaced Is covert gonna keep campaign might build this all things you gotta think about And this is what I thought about and this whole thing Was what helped me what made me The comic I was today Or what I'm doing today. What what's still keeping me relevant wasn't The funniness and all this shit. It was the lesson I learned about quitting

As a 15 year old you never quit nothing Especially when you have that much passion for something you never quit nothing You never let get something get it get in the way between you And your fucking dream and what your mission is fuck that shit I just want to let you know because I I know a lot of people having a hard times now and sometimes listen I could probably afford a psychiatrist, but I'm not gonna go see a psychiatrist Right now these next few months it's not gonna be about This or that it's gonna be about your mental health

It's gonna be about your mental health. Trust me another lockdown in california another lockdown across the country No ppl loans people are still trying to get unemployment But blah blah blah blah blah blah You've still got to push forward every day And most importantly is you can't quit You can't quit at any level It's not your shoulder that makes you quit. It's not your need. You know for me I told everybody I quit basketball because I had that lung infection and I couldn't run anymore

I didn't quit because no fucking lung infection I quit because I was a fucking pussy and I let something hold me down Don't ever ever ever ever in this life Let something hold you to fuck down. You understand me? You push forward I'm happy so much today But I got to tell you that story because it was on my chest for a long time And I finally put that one piece together the element that was missing Which was me quitting basketball that stayed with me for the rest of my fucking life

That's why I tack comedy as hard as I fucking did By me because of me quitting basketball never quit dick Look at it analyze it realize it see, you know for me I'm 5 for the 11. What were my chances of making in the NBA? But that wasn't for me to decide That wasn't for me to decide My decision was to keep Pushing until they told me no and even then

Even then Even then I was just watching a football game. Maybe Thanksgiving or somewhere where they were talking about a guy He got drafted. He got hurt He was loading shelves in the supermarket and somebody gave him a fucking shot Yeah, somebody will give you a shot, but you got to earn that shot It's not like somebody's gonna walk into a bar and go, oh, you're the most handsome guy I've ever seen I'm gonna put you in my next hollywood fucking thriller. I wish it happened that way, but it fucking doesn't

But the lesson from today monday november 30th is don't quit don't fucking quit nothing Keep going and if you do quit It's gonna live with you forever that that quitting at the age of 14 That irked at me for 14 fucking years Till I got on stage and you imagine getting eaten away or something I knew a lot of things were eating away at me. My mother's dead You know me being a dumb fuck the drugs But it all started

By me fucking quitting basketball That's what really started. It wasn't my mother's dad It wasn't I could tell you a bunch of fucking lies. It was none of that It was for me quitting that it was against my beliefs If it's against who the fuck I am It'll lead the way out here for the rest of your fucking life If there's something you want to go back to or something, you know, you get wives I don't want you to be in a band no more you get

You know people tell you you are whatever tom dog will go fuck themselves I want you to play your hand. I want you to do What you will put on this planet to fucking do You know if you want to train monkeys But there's no money in it and your wife makes you keep your it job Tell her to suck your dick you want to go train fucking monkeys because that's what you were putting on this fucking planet to do And with that I leave you don't forget tonight 6 p.m

Eastern time 3 o'clock in california 2 o'clock in fucking colorado Ozzie's boneyard siri xxm Channel 38 Number two. I want to thank you guys all for supporting me on patreon You guys are phenomenal. We got another video coming up this week the album of the week And we also got a little uh rifa product review coming at you, you know what i'm saying a couple little podcasts. I take care of you over there

We have a good time over that patreon, but if not Just stay here with me and uncle joey. I'm starting to get my fucking Voice back i'm starting to get my mind back Everything is working all at once the alpha brain the cbd lion Everything is working all at once And I just want to let you guys know it's going to be another motherfucking great week Except you are here So without further ado, thank you very much

I love you guys and i'll see you wednesday morning Tip top magoo ready to go now for a word from our sponsors This week since draft kings don't forget tonight the parley you got you got the fucking total and the under And you're going to take that and roll it into the fucking tuesday night Baltimore raven Pittsburgh stealer game and as far as cbd lion They're always there for you Now i'm going to pass that you on you're going to get the links

You're going to go smoke a joint and you're going to go take care of whatever monday has to offer you cock suckers I love you stay black. Thank you for coming to uncle joey's join again and forgive me another opportunity to come into your living rooms Love you But before we go like I said in the beginning This is rough to you from the heart of new jersey just like my main people draft kings They're right here in the heart of fucking jersey And this is the season to give and give big and make and make as much money as you can Without fucking doing unemployment paperwork. I'm going to try to make you a little bit of fucking money here the old fashioned way

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Whatever the fuck you need to do to make the party started cbd lion or get that party started for you Go to cbd lion dot com right now Pressing joey your church and get the party started. Have a great fucking day. I love you fucking filthy filthy animals I'll see you wednesday morning tip top magoo. I don't want to hear no fucking stories. I love you I Forget to blow off the can like it's my fucking 80th birthday and shit. I've got to measure You