Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 02/06/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #53

Episode Date: February 8, 2013

Joey's sleep apnea doctor from Tower Sleep Medicine in Beverly Hills calls in to talk about sleep apnea. This Podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at check out for a discount. This podcast is also brought to you by Shari's Berries at Berries.com. Click on the microphone on the top right corner and use promo code HAPPENING for deals starting at 19.95. Streamed live on USTREAM 02/06/2013

Oh shit. Oh shit. We're back bitches. The church of what's happening now. What do you see cop suckers? It's February 6th a beautiful Wednesday. I got my main man Lisa Yadl who's been slipping. Slippin like a mother fucker. Slippin. Had his yearbook I won't show me as big to this George Washington hairdo. What? I'm not in the yearbook. Oh, I'm your cop dog. Hit it, Lee. Let me see where you go from with Joe. He's Wednesday cop sucker. This is crazy. These guys are black. I never thought that. Rocking like a motherfucker. Look at the guitar player shredding shit. Look at them burning whatever his name is. But by the way they think black people can't

fucking rock and roll. Black people can rock and roll though. Yeah you were telling me they open for the Stones or something? The Stones took him on tour that fucking year. That's how they roll. You follow me? How you doing today, Lisa? Yeah. Oh shit. I'm not mad. You're all fucking mumplier. People are saying that I give you too many edibles. No. It's because I didn't give him no edibles. He's all fucked up today. You should have said that. Banana bread. When I give him all the heavy-duty shit he sits there like a fucking mook and everything's done. Today he thinks he's cocky and then I make him smile and when I smoke I'll

fucking stab you. No, I don't mind smoking. It's fucking eating an edible from death. You forget I know some real Jews though. Kidnap you'll be milking fucking camels in Arabia land. You understand me cock sucker? Get that fucking beard. How's everybody doing today? Beautiful day to be alive. Get up. Get up. Grab a book. Stick a finger up your ass. Read. Do something. You just can't sit there like a fucking Momo playing video games all day. Wait for somebody to knock on your door or to get a fucking scholarship from some technical institute in your neighborhood. It ain't gonna fucking happen. They ain't giving out scholarships. They got too

many fucking momos out there. You follow me? What's going on Lee? How's the gym going? What's been going on? It's going good. The only days I can't go are days that I do this just because I try to go before work. But it's been going good. What time you go? I like to go at like five because I have to, I believe, like 435 because I have to be on the road by six. You do some jumping jacks and everything. You're looking good. Let me see the crab. Give me a little crab. What's a crab? Is this the crab? You see those trapezoid deals? You fucking savage. Oh, Jesus. No, I like the bike a lot. And that's my area. Now I'm in kind of a

more residential. What I want to do is I want to buy a bike because I actually, when I was a kid, that's one of the things I actually like doing. Great. Great. That's great. It's pretty hard to run this podcast with no fucking arms. You want to ride a bike in this fucking game. That's the one thing. Yeah, you're driving around with fucking... Listen, dawg, let me explain something to you. These people here that you see that think they're fucking smart with their BMWs. They're the dumbest, scariest fucking people in the world. Oh, that's crazy. And when they see you with a bike, they tighten up even more. You don't want to ride a bike around these streets.

This is dangerous. It opens up good. You'll have a great time. You've got a suntan. You get a little fucking helmet, but it always ends bad. You want to ride your fucking bike, go to the YMCA, and you ride outside in that fucking... They have the bicycle outside. You put your earphones on. You lift the cult of personality. You make believe four fucking black guys are chasing you with guitars to show it up your ass. And you just pedal because the bike is good because it won't put that much. It's not like running. That's the eye like biking. Yeah. Well, you know, and if you could jump in the pool, we talked about, but right now it's just about walking for you getting out there. You're looking

good. Let me get a crab. Oh, you're a fucking savage. I'm trying. You're an Animali. What's been going on? It's Wednesday. I mean, there's not much news. You know, and what kills me is when there's no news, they try to invent news. Yeah. Like it's Beyonce flashing the Illuminati sign. You know, Alicia Keys, people upset with... If you're upset over Alicia Keys national anthem, you need to eat your wife's asshole once a fucking month. Because that's what the problem is. You focus on the shit that don't matter. Did Beyonce flash the Illuminati sign? If she did it, how does that affect you at the fuck when you're standing online at the fucking supermarket? Here's something that I learned a long time ago. It's got nothing to do with you. If you see something

and you're like, like this morning, some fucking mom, mom up here talking about smoking dope and get it together, he writes back, you know, tell me about the immigration bill and how they're going to build drones. This is your morning. If this is the shit that's on your head at seven o'clock in the morning, you're fucking doomed for life. You're doomed. You're doomed. Immigration act, who gives a fuck? What's it got to do with you? Get out there, fuck your wife, eat some eggs, do some jumping jacks, and you'll do a lot better off than yourself. Read a fucking chapter in Stephen King writing if you want to learn how to write fucking Christmas cards or something like that, or fucking Hanukkah cards, whatever the fuck you want to say. But it never seems to amaze me how

we're always thinking about shit that's gonna nothing to fucking do with us. Nothing to do with you. It's like I said to you two weeks before holidays. Don't talk to these fucking people because they're not thinking about business. They're thinking about potato salad and fucking firecrackers and where they're going and how they're getting there. It's amazing. Like I always say to you, deal with what's in front of you. There's no reason to think about because it can't do nothing for you. It doesn't do shit for you, but stress you. Then you don't say you're like, I got, you don't got to get to nothing today. Today, what's going to happen today and how are we going to make money today? What's the saying on the answering machine on my phone?

If you're not going to make money today, how are we going to make money today? It all goes down today. This all motherfucking starts today. What happened yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. Fuck it. We can't bring yesterday back. You lost 200. You stabbed your wife. Fuck it. Today's going to be better. The dog will come back. The cattle sing a song. Whatever. I don't fucking know. You know what I'm saying? What else? We talked to uncle Joey here. You eight days away from Valentine's. What are you sending Rose? We're sending Rose a love and happy thoughts. Picture yourself fucking finger banging your fucking muffler while you're working out one.

Nothing. Nobody sends those type of pictures. Everybody was saying, I love you. Nobody sends a picture of your fucking with a black yoke up your ass. You know what I'm saying? I love you. This is what spells I love you. Unbelievable. Nobody fucking does that. I don't think anyone wants that. Sure. You don't want to send your wife a picture of you fucking by the pond fishing for fish. You want to send a picture of you banging one out in the fucking wilderness. I'm thinking of your dirty cocksuck and they love it. Jesus Christ. Tell Rose today. Call Rose. Don't go Rose. I can't wait to fuck you again. Watch. A little pussy of milk right on the fucking. Well, that's different than sending a fucking picture of myself for Valentine's Day.

You want to send Rose a picture of yourself banging one out? Banging one out. Like just right there on the couch. You have your little friend taking one out when you're dicking your hand with a little Yamaga on. Yeah. Well, you have the Yamaga upside down. You're ready to come on it. You know, inside the Yamaga cap. Well, they're going to throw me out of Israel for this. So what? That's a free show. You send her a Yamaga little fucking come stand in there. They'll love it. They've never seen that before. You can't fucking wash that out. Well, thank God you weren't a kid in this time. You're fucking sending people pictures of fucking coming in a Yamaga. That's something. Anything. You're going to send her something.

You've got a jail now for that. No, Lee. It's Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's. That's the one day you don't go to jail. It's not you could. It's not you're going to send a neighbor a picture of your underwear with Wank on it. But I'm talking about it's fucking Valentine's Day. She's the love of your life rubs. You send that picture, you wacking off a little finger up your ass at the party. She'll love you forever. Nobody sends that shit. Portraits by Lee. Are you kidding me? Lee, how many fucking million dollar ideas do I have to give you? I don't think that one's a million dollar idea. Lee, the fat man alert. Fat man alert since we're trying to put people onto Cherry's Berries. I got a guy calling into that. So I talked to him. I always get that. Listen,

a couple years ago, I had a problem. Like in 2099 it started. I moved in with a friend of mine and he would tell me every morning. He's like, dog, you snore a lot. You fucking snore really bad. And I'm like, dog, what do you want me to do? I snore blow. It's dry. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You fucking snore really bad. Something's not right. And I'm like, okay, whatever. And then he would tell me like once a week, you really should go to the doctor and tell him that you snore a lot and that you're choking. I didn't know what he was saying. Then I started dating Terry. But one day Terry told me, she goes, I would wake up and she'd be in the kitchen on the floor with pillows around her head with duct tape wrapped around the pillows. And I go, what's

the matter? She's like, Joey, you can't sleep here no more. You could hear it in the whole fucking house. And that was for a few months. And then it got to the point where I would go to sleep and wake up on my feet choking. Jesus. Like just you wake yourself up. Fuck. What the fuck? And then I would go to sleep and wake up and stay up. And then it just kept happening. I didn't know what it was. It's just like, what the fuck is this feeling that I'm having that I go to bed at one and I get up and fucking 145 and I stay up the rest of the night and this kept going on. And on and on. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And finally, my wife goes, you got to go see a doctor. It's called sleep at me. I went on the computer and

I wouldn't go. And finally I went in there and a buddy of mine, a good friend of mine, what it really was, was I was in Little Rock, Arkansas. And the club was coming to get me and I fell asleep on the chair at the hotel where they come to get you. And a doctor was in the fucking thing. And he walked over to me and he goes, I don't know if you know this. You haven't slept at me. You're really bad. You're like two weeks from dying. He goes, you can see it on your skin color. Jesus. You're not getting oxygen. And I'm like, come on. He's like, no, I'm serious. And he wrote down all this shit to read online. And he wrote down what to tell the doctor. He goes, because you're bad. He looked at my throat. He looked in my eyes. He goes, you're passed. You're not even getting

knocked. He goes, what are you sleeping at night? And I go, I don't. He goes, you're sleeping. You're sitting down when you're driving. Oh, it was horribly, I wouldn't fall asleep in bed. I would sleep with you in the car when you drove to lunch. Yeah. Or if you went to Bray or something with me, I'd sleep the whole, I'd fall asleep on you on the steering wheel. You'd have to push me off. I'd fall asleep at the light. I'd fall asleep. What do you really? Well, one time I fell asleep on a fucking plane before the plane took off and they woke me up and they threw me off the plane. For snoring? For snoring. It was so loud. It scared the fucking people. Like I was in the middle of the plane. Something like that, something fucking loud and the people were nuts. So I went down to,

I didn't know what it was. You know, at the time I thought health was like everything else in my life, a fucking joke. So I was like, sleep at me. I don't, as long as I don't have to get needles, it'll be fine. I went down there and I did the sleep study and the fucking sleep study, the people in the sleep study were like, what the fuck? You're beyond help. You know, you might have to do the surgery and I went to this guy at the sleep mask place and he really spoke to me and then I went to a couple of seminars. Then I really got into it. You know, and I knew that weight was an issue, but it wasn't. It's a bunch of fucking things. Are your issues with this? And we're going to straighten them all out today because I've seen skinny people sleep at me. You know,

Joe Rogan has it. Eddie Bravo has it. And it's a thickness around your neck. Yeah. I see that, you know, I've helped Joe Rogan. I helped Eddie and I helped the director from the UFC had it. He didn't even know he had it. He came to me. Anytime somebody comes to me and said they're not sleeping enough, they're well rested, they always feel angry. Those are fucking prerequisites right there. That's part of the reason why I started because I haven't done the whole thing like choking at all, but everyone tells me I snore. And it's just one of the things that happens when you're overweight is that it's one of the things you weren't into. So I mean, that's, I don't want to get to the point where I'm waking up or anything like that. Plus,

I don't know, with people here, I don't want, I don't want to like have like a wife or a girlfriend like sleeping in the kitchen or whatever. So that's part of the reason. So I'm really interested to hear this guy talk. No, I sleep with the machine. I sleep with the machine. I put oxygen. I take oxygen drops. I do so many things completely different than what I used to do. You have to do a sleep study, which they suck. Yeah, I heard you don't sleep at all. I don't sleep at all. You know, it's a night or not sleeping. They, they fuck with you. You know, they turn the machine down, you're grasping for air. And it's really weird. Like when I did the sleep study, I was at the point where my body would sleep anywhere. It just needed help.

Now my psychological, I can't fucking sleep. We can Columbus Saturday night. I fucking couldn't sleep. Oh yeah, you're horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible at night. Horrible. Now you would prefer to have the machine than do a surgery. Because to me, the machine seems like it would ruin fucking sleeping. Listen, anytime I could avoid going into a fucking hospital, anything's better than that. Okay. The machine is not that bad. Can you sleep on your stomach with it? I sleep on everything. My stomach, my sides, my shoulders are really big, so I can't sleep on my fucking stomach no more. Oh, okay. I can sleep like this. Yeah, if I have to. Yeah, you sleep on your stomach. I don't like sleeping on my back. I never fall asleep like it for some reason. I can fall asleep

on my side on all that shit. But you know, it's not even a sleep apnea that hurts you. It's all the other things that it fucks with. It fucks with your blood pressure. It fucks with your circulation. You know, they're saying now that if you have sleep apnea, you have higher chances of getting cancer because the oxygen can't go to those spots. So this is, you know, fat man alert, fat man alert. This is not about being fat. I don't like that. That's a joke. It's just about being healthy, guys. Sometimes, you know, we go in a bunch of directions with this podcast, but I gotta tell you something, guys, and I'm going to be as honest as I can with you. I don't give a fuck about nothing. Leo tested to that. The last five years, I've really been into my health. And one reason

is because I met my uncle. That was the reason? I hooked up with my uncle. And when I hooked up with my uncle, he was 72 years old and I couldn't believe he was in the shape he was in. And he told me about my uncles and my aunts and how they were all alive and they all have a great time in Cuba and the reason being because they take care of themselves. In this life, there's two way, you know, you have to be a better friend to yourself. There's little things we have to do to take care of ourselves, whether it's drinking water, you know, I fucking hate water. I was just thinking when I first went to Weight Watch and I had to switch from soda to diet soda and water, I lost 18 pounds in two weeks, just with the sodas, just with the fucking sodas. Wow. Guys,

I was addicted to Coca-Cola in a can and I would drink two a pop. So if I sit down three times, it's a six pack right there. What about when I go to the comedy club when I don't drink alcohol and I drink another fucking 19 fucking sodas? Just on sodas alone, I was doing 90 fucking points a day. Each can of Coke is six, you only get 40 fucking points. So five cans, six, seven cans, I'm good for the fucking day. And when people give you shit, like sometimes I see in like, even with Dolce, they say, oh, you shouldn't know soda and you should do all this Keen 1 stuff. If you didn't hear, listen to the last podcast and you talked about what you're eating before this. So to go from that to anything better. Yeah, that's why people don't fucking know. People don't know. That's

why everybody's made different. And every diet is different. And it's not really called a diet. It's a lifestyle change. You know, it's a lifestyle change. You know, like I've told you before, we've discussed before, we're two heavy guys. I love to give Olivia life on a diet. It sucks. It sucks. But a lifestyle change doesn't suck. What's a lifestyle change instead of three eggs? A box of cereal? Listen, I know one thing. I know that I used to eat a fucking 12 inch, you know, whatever, a foot long, whatever the fuck, a bag of chips, a side dish and three sodas. I know that I could make my lunch on a six inch, no chips and a soda. I know this for a fact. I know that that's all your body needs. That's a lifestyle change.

A lifestyle change is when I go home now, me and my wife are going to take a walk this morning for 30 minutes. That's a lifestyle change. A lifestyle change is instead of staying up to one to watch that fucking Stamikia, you know, Letterman or whatever, they don't change your fucking life at all. I'm not putting them down. I'm just saying this to you guys. Go to bed at 10, those two extra hours at the end of the week. You feel fucking better. You know, last night, I wanted to stay up and watch something. My wife went to bed with the baby at eight. We're going to call them in. Good morning. Joe with Andy. How are you? How are you, Dr. Wachtel? I'm good. We were just talking about sleep apnea and the friends that

I've had that I turned on to sleep apnea and told them to get sleep studies. And I just, I'm happy that you called and explained to some of these people what sleep apnea is from the beginning. Okay. Sure. I'm waiting on you, Doc. No, you want me to start talking? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So sleep apnea occurs when there's a blockage somewhere between the mouth of the nose and the vocal cords. And what happens when we go into the deepest stages of sleep is the muscles that keep the throat open and relax. And so when you actually fall into the deepest stages of sleep, they actually close up. Now, when they get narrow, you hear a loud snoring. But when you actually fall asleep, they close up and you stop breathing. So your, your chest will keep moving,

but no air will be going and it'll be very quiet. The brain in its incident wisdom would rather breathe than sleep. So it will always wake the patient with the apnea up. Now, maybe they won't wake you up to be conscious. Sometimes you wake up and you're gasping for breath, but most of the time you wake up to a lighter stage of sleep and you don't even know you're awake and then you start breathing again. But every time you get into the deepest stages of sleep, you stop breathing and you keep waking up. So because of that, patients will sleep apnea. You feel like they sleep all the time, but yet they're never refreshed and they're always falling asleep easily during the day. Now, sometimes when you wake up because of the closure of the throat, you can kind of wake

up gasping, but that's a little bit less usual. Bed partners will frequently say that their partner will be having a nice rhythmic snoring and then there'll be a very long pause where there's no noise and then a loud snort and that loud snort is where they start breathing again. So frequently, the bed partner can give you more information than the actual person with the sleep apnea. Now, we typically think of sleep apnea as occurring in overweight people and the more overweight you are, the higher the incidence is of sleep apnea, but it does also occur in thin people and in children. In children, it's often related to large tonsils and adenoids and in thin people, it can be related to just their intrinsic anatomy. So if you think about

Jay Leno with his large protuberant chin, if you have the exact opposite of that, where the chin is kind of recessed, what we call retro-nathia, that pushes the tongue and the structures of the throat all the way back and makes a much smaller opening in the throat and can cause sleep apnea even in thin people. So we do see a very strong family preponderance of sleep apnea. Doctor, when I first got it started off with snoring and then it got worse to snoring and then it got to the point where I was choking and then I was waking up grasping for air. Is that the evolution of it? That's what happened. Everybody's a little bit different, but it would be very unusual to have sleep apnea if you didn't snore. So most people do have snoring,

although most, you know, a lot of people that snore don't actually have sleep apnea. So it's very important that if you're going to have something done about snoring that you make sure that you have a sleep study first because the treatment for snoring, specifically the surgical treatments for snoring are very effective, 80% effective, but they're only about 20% effective for sleep apnea. So it would be important to know if to sleep apnea before you do anything. And the treatments for sleep apnea are 100% effective for snoring. So, you know, a lot of times it's the bed partner that brings the patient to the attention of the doctor. Doctor, I tell you, like a lot of Americans of myself, I was scared to come see you. I was scared

about the sleep study. Can you explain to people what happens during this sleep study that's completely painless? Yeah, during the sleep study patients come to the lab. Usually, you know, it's certainly in our lab, it's a very quiet private bedroom, private bath. We have a closed circuit TV, so you can watch television, a little snack. When you come, it's made, a room is made to be conducive to sleep with very quiet. And you have some monitors on your head so we can monitor your brain waves so we actually know when you're asleep. We have an oxygen meter and we measure the flow of air at the mouth. The patients are very comfortable and they can sleep on their back, whether sides or their stomach. They need to get up and go to

the restroom. It's not a problem. We have capabilities for significant others to spend the night, family member or a spouse or mother or father for children. So it's actually a very comfortable experience. And now we even have screening sleep studies that can actually be done in the home where we have little kits where the patients take them to their house and they can actually sleep in their own bed. It's kind of a screening test. And what are the three, when I was diagnosed with 10 years ago, we've been together that long doctor, there was three options. There's like a mouthpiece, the CPAP machine or the surgery. And each one was different. Right, so depending on the degree of sleep apnea, how many episodes per hour people stop breathing, the positions that

that occurs in, we can recommend the most common recommendation would be for the CPAP machine, which is a kind of a mask that you wear over your nose or your mouth that provides continuous pressure to the throat so that when you go to sleep, the pressure acts like a hydraulic splint in your airway. So it keeps your throat open and you don't snore. Over the 10 years, Joe, as you know, the masks have become much more comfortable. Patients actually like them much more now and they're very comfortable with the masks. The bed partner is like them because the snoring is gone. That's kind of the primary treatment. Secondary treatment would be for people with milder sleep apnea would be a dental device that would actually kind of like what you see football players wearing,

but would actually pose the lower jaw forward and makes a larger space in the back of the throat. The least effects treatment would be surgery. The surgeries are very expensive and tend to be not very effective. It's not only about 20 to 30% effective. And then for people with milder sleep apnea, we have a bit of a newer device, these little patches that go over the nose every night that have a little valve in the middle that actually act as a splint. This is something called ProVent that we've been using quite a bit in our patients with milder sleep apnea. Now, this isn't the stuff they saw at the pharmacy. Stress is doctor because I know I have friends that to avoid going to see you, they have gone on the CVS

and tried to pick up everything they can at CVS to avoid the, you know, the things you see at the supermarket. Those little strips of tape that go over the nose that you also see the athletes wearing those are not effective for sleep apnea. They may help the snoring, but they're not effective for sleep apnea. Now, after you have the machine doctor, is there anything we could do as patients to improve our numbers or? Right. So the newer machines have a computer chip, a secure digital card in them that records what happens while you're sleeping. And typically we would start you on the machine in our sleep center and then we would have you come back in two weeks to meet with our, to bring the machine back,

to meet with our mask specialist. And he can look at the data from the machine to see how you're doing, if there's a leak and how many hours a night you're using it and the pressure is effective and he can fit with the masks better. What I like to say is where the rubber hits the road is where the mask hits the face. Everybody wants the latest, greatest machine, but the real determining factor about the sleep apnea is where the mask and the face come together. And as I said, we can, our sleep technologists are excellent with getting the masks to be much more comfortable. You know, doctor, I've looked at pictures of myself from 10 years ago and it's amazing. I had bags under my eyes. I, you know, my neck was huge. I mean, it's just, and I've worked on the weight

and stuff and I'm sure I can't fall asleep now on the sleep studies doctor. I'm having a hard time, but is there anything else we can do to help it after we're treating it? Well, certainly for those people that are overweight, weight loss may totally reverse the problem. The ultimate solution in overweight patients would be to have significant weight loss and doesn't actually have to be a huge amount of weight to make a big difference with the sleep. Everybody's different. You know, I lost a hundred pounds, doctor, since our first meeting and now I still need the mask, but I'll tell you, I could fall asleep on a plane now. I could fall asleep on the couch, you know, if I'm breathing or with my feet up or something. So it has made a big difference. I wish

I didn't have to wear the mask, but I'm addicted to it at this point. You know, I enjoy sleeping with much better using it. Yeah, I feel, and like I said, I could fall asleep without the mask if I really had to. You know, some of the tricks I would go in a hotel room and turn the shower on and hot and just sleep with a pillow. That's what I would do before I discovered the machine, but now I can do it naturally, but I still feel confident. I want to get the full night's sleep. I'm addicted to it. And I also have the machine where it tells you how many hours you slept. Correct, it has a chip in it. The gentleman even told me, if I drink alcohol, like you get dry, he goes, they can even tell you by the dehydration or something. So these new machines,

doctor, the reason why I had your calls, I'm sure out of listeners, we have a lot, and I get emails twice a week on it. Doctor, it's amazing how many emails I get. Hey, I'm having a hard time breathing. Do I have sleep apnea? Full of a Christ, go to your doctor, but I'm happy. I talk about it enough that people are, is there a web page or anything they can go to, doctor? Well, we have our sleep center is called the Tower Sleep Medicine. Okay. And it would be Towersleepmedicine.com or they can just, they can give our office a call, the Sleep Medicine Office at 310-657-3792. And that's in the LA area? That's right in West Hollywood over by the Cedar

Medical Center. And we'd be happy to help out any of the listeners we can. Thank you. You know, doctor, it's like anything else. A lot of people in America hear about things, but they're scared to ask or they don't know who to ask or where to start. And when I thought of this, I thought of you and I'm very happy that you called this morning. I know you're a busy guy, doctor, and I will make an appointment to come see you in the next two weeks. All right, buddy. Oh, it's my pleasure, Joe. Thank you, doctor Wachtel. Have a great day. All right, bye. There you go, guys. There you go, guys. I mean, you know, we do a lot of things here about fucking around. Look, if I got an email or a tweet one

day, that one of you guys, something happened to you guys, you know what? It would break my fucking heart. It would break my fucking heart. If you know anything about me, please, if you got one of these things, you sleep apnea, whatever the fuck you got, just go get a check time. Your mother's got insurance. Somebody knows got insurance. I know you got fucking $35. You smoke weed, you fucking got your iPhone, you got Twitter. I know you got $35. Go down there. I was going to ask, but I was going to try to avoid the Jew joke. But for people, I know for me and a lot of people out there, money's an issue. Is this covered by most insurance? Do you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. Because it's the number one growing disease in men, guys. Is it really? It's

the number one growing disease in men. And the thing I was thinking about, because if I had a choice, I would do the surgery just because I don't want to have a mask, but sounds weird. But when I was thinking about it, and I've heard about people dying from it, I'm like, do I really want to, and what you just said, if something happens to someone, do you really want to die from something that's under your control? So fucking fast. It's not like cancer work could just happen. No. So the one thing I want to do when I call them is, since I work nights, I want to see if I can go during the day and just sleep during the day. But I think I'm going to call them because I don't want to have something happen.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, gentlemen and ladies, I know a lot of women who have it. I've gotten emails from women, a soldier hit me from Germany, a female soldier that she was embarrassed at some of the girls in the barracks or whatever. People get it, man. And it's not like getting AIDS or Chlamydia or getting something from eating a crack hole. This is, you know, it's, it's, it's fucking, and it fucks with you. Listen, man, fucking sleep apnea fucks with you in so many ways, because guess what? You're not sleeping. You realize the importance of sleep. One thing I never respected. That's why I goof with you all the time. In the Columbia Funny Bone, there was a kid, the Columbus Funny Bone, he was 22.

Okay. And he was telling me and the head chef how he wanted to go home and sleep. And the head chef was like, you're 22. You know, and I goof around that when I was that age, I didn't fucking sleep. You know, right now I'm writing, writing for this book for Omar. And it's so weird. I'm up to this chapter that I never talked about my life. It was like five months of my life that I was a fucking no man. That even hurts me to think about it, because I fucked everybody over. Like I just wanted a five month fucking up spree and it wasn't anybody. It was my family. It was where I just destroyed my, you know, everybody in this, listen to the podcast is one, one point in your life where you just went nuts for six months. You,

you, you crash your grandmother's car. You got a DUI in your father's car. You got quite using this credit card. You went through the garage door. You got fired. Everybody goes into one of those rough patches for me. It was 84 from August of 84 to like the first week of January before Lee. I lived like a fucking no man. And I took down, you know, people that I loved it and people that loved me. That had a lot of faith in me. It was writing about it now that fucking hurts to write, but it's amazing that what we talking about Lee, I'm fucking stoned. You were talking about the, the, you're writing about the time for your crazy, but it was a how fucking hard it is and how, how painful it is, you know. And one of the things in that that

I'm writing about is just checked. I used to, my mother was friends with and they used to always give me money and stuff when I was in a bind, how I stopped talking to her one day. I got so busy with the fucking drugs. I just stopped talking to her one day and I called her back like four months later and she goes, I've been sitting here waiting on you with a broken leg. And I was heart broken because she was always there for me that, but she fell on the stairs and I wasn't there for, I don't even know how I got on this. But what I'm trying to, the point I'm trying to make you fucking Lee is do me a favor. If somebody tells you you snore, you got a hard time fucking snoring or sleeping, go get a check down. You might not have it because you might not have it,

but it affects so many other things in your life. It just affects so many other things, affects your mood, it affects your temper, it affects your ability to work, it affects your ability to focus. So this is why I touched on it. You know, the year that Reggie White died, the sleep apnea main webpage got 25,000 hits that whole year. The day after Reggie White died, he got 25,000 hits. So do you follow me? Like people don't know about sleep apnea and it might be simple that I got this doctor to call the reason why I got it to cause, because I got emails about it. I guess Joe goes on his podcast and talks about how he had sleep apnea and I told him about it on a plane and shit like that. He told Gigliardi and Eddie Bravo. So a lot of people hit me the

fuck up. So that's why I got this doctor to call just to fucking simplify things. Lee, what music you got for me? It's fucking Wednesday. You're sitting there like a bump along. Give me a little fucking black Sabbath or something. I'm going to give some shout outs to some bad motherfuckers, friends of the podcast. Irish. I love you, cocksucker. Hit it. Oh shit. A little fucking snow blind. Even if you're not doing blow, you got to get Ozzy to remind you of what's out there. Lee, what's going on in your room? You want to dance? Sure, why not go a couple of blocks hit it, Lee? What? Oh shit, Lee.

Oh shit, Lee. You rockin' for this, Lee? Oh yeah. You're gonna wiggle for me, Uncle Joey, Lee. You don't wiggle no more, no. It's fucking Wednesday. You're not wiggling for your uncle Joey. Oh shit. It's a bad out fucking snow blind. There's all volume four. If you got any fucking problems, get it. Put on wheels of confusion and go write the fucking snow blind or rock your world. This is my favorite, right, Lee? Get up and salute the fucking flag of this, Billy. Look at you. You don't salute the flag of Israel. I think you throw dollar bills at it. You know what I'm saying? You just sit there like this, Lee. Just throw a bunch of dollar bills at the flag. That's how you used to look to Israeli

flag, you know what I'm saying? Hit it, Lee. Cock sucker. You wiggle and punk with Joey. Wake up, you maggots. Here you go, Lee. My eyes are blind, but I can see your problem. You with me, Lee, or what do you think? I'm with you. The snowflakes glisten on the trees. Tremendous. Tremendous. Oh, I don't want to shoot this video with you now. Tremendous. Joey Diaz sings the song. The sun no longer lets me free. Oh, shit. I feel the snowflakes treating me. What are you fucking nuts? You know how many lines of blow I did to this fucking jam in the cemetery? Walking around backwards. Hit it, Lee. All right, let's give my shout-out, Lee. To my main man, Irish, Chris Tainer, Matt Joyner,

NOL, not Joey Diaz. Do you see that guy that's a guy online? He's saying he's not Joey Diaz. Really? No, I didn't see that. Stow it. Matt Shave, Dan Freeman, Connor Hewan. I love you, cock sucker. Get well. You got your hips. You're throwing sidekicks for Jesus. Zufa Lifted the Rock, Mike Lupo, Sam Puentes, and my man, John Fetter. We ain't fucking around today, maybe. Fat man alert, motherfucker. Hit it, Lee. Turn that fucking thing off, Lee. What's the story? So, you forgot to come over and get your arm in stuff, Lee. See, you're slipping. You didn't tell me about it, huh? I told you the other day during the workout to come over and get your arm in stuff if you're going to go, because I want you to try it so you can tell the people how you're feeling

with the strong bone. Okay, yeah. So, this week, just do the bicycle, and the next week, do the bicycle and walk. And you're going to get your little fucking fat bones in your feet. They fucking hurt when you're a fat dude. Those little fat bones fucking hurt. So, you do the strong bone for money. You do a little new mood at night. You can sleep when you come home at six. Okay. You gotta smoke some weed with the new boot, Lee. You're slipping. It's like breast milk. If you ain't gonna smoke weed, don't touch the fucking breast milk. With babies a month old yesterday, fucking amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. We fucked around all day yesterday with the wife and the baby. We went here, took them to acupuncture. Today, we got to go to the doctor. I got to get

my head done. I got to go to the doctor at two for my fucking ear. Now, are she allowed to be out in public? I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? What am I going to do? I'm gonna leave her at home like she's, you know, no, I got to take the baby out because she's got to see some daylight. She ain't no fucking twilighter. Okay, no, I thought you can take babies out. They said 40 days. I've had that baby out since the second day, bro. Restaurants, the whole thing. The whole thing. I don't fuck around. How does she do in restaurants? Tremendous because on the car ride, she passes the fuck out. I blow a shotgun in her face and then by the time we get to the restaurant, she's good to go. She just sits there and looks around and says,

what the fuck, no steak for me? Nothing. No, she's great at restaurants. She's very good. I'm very fortunate. And my wife is very happy, but I'm gonna bring you the honor just so you can try, just so you can talk, just so you can see what you think. I know what I think about it. I had a protein shake this morning. I'm not farting. I'm used to it now. The chocolate's fucking, let me taste them. That's a protein shake that sometimes I get home and I'm like, should I make a sandwich or should I make a fucking protein shake? And the protein shake wins. It's like going to Carvel when I was a kid. A lot of people from the East Coast, these motherfuckers don't know about Carvel and shit. A little chocolate vanilla shake. Fuck, a white black shake. Black and white.

You like Carvel? I didn't have a Carvel by me, but we had like a little mini one and it's a black and white. That's my favorite. It's not chocolate. It's vanilla. It's kind of chocolate. Oh, these motherfuckers don't know. A couple of joints in the Carvel Mood Shake. You get yourself one of those baseball hats with the Carvel Sundays. When I was a kid, Tom Carvel would make commercials like a Super 8K. Hello. This is Tom Carvel. Oh, okay. And he'd make the fucking shit. One time I ate a whole cake, just smoked a reaper scratch and my fucking ball. Did your friendlies buy you in Jersey? Yeah, but I don't go to those fucking disgusting things. Oh, when I was a kid? Yeah, they don't have SwapServe. They don't? No, I don't think so. I don't

like fucking not SwapServe shit. When I was a kid, I wanted SwapServe ice cream. Oh, okay. I don't ask for much. What the fuck? When you were a kid, you wanted Swap. When I would go into a store, I'd have that hard shit at the fucking house. I had bribes at the house with the chocolate fucking dots in it. You know, a little vanilla ice cream with those little black dots. Chocolate chip? Oh, no, no, not chocolate chip. Vanilla ice cream, the pure vanilla, the vanilla bean always has little pieces of it. Oh, okay. Ooh, a little bribes ice cream with a can of Coca-Cola. You mix that motherfucker up, stop it. Jesus Christ. Oh, I wonder if you don't have diabetes. But speaking of on it, you put on Facebook something yesterday I want to actually

the testosterone. Yes. There's new testosterone. And I forgot to bring the link. I'll put it up on Twitter lately. I'll put it up on. They have a new testosterone. I forgot. I read about it last night, but it was fucked up right now. That's all right. We'll put it up for Monday because no, it's Friday when they're going to start whatever it. So maybe I should fuck it. I'll look forward. It's probably right on your page still. Yeah, it's on my page. It's on the Facebook page. It's a testosterone beta to lift your levels up. And if you register tonight, you get a free sample. So go on there and register. And it's been really good. And I tell you, I'm very happy with Aubrey. I'm very happy with the whole organization from Mr. Rios. I mean, they're

involved and that's more than I could ask. I've sponsored. Other people have sponsored me. They haven't been disinvolved. And it's involved with something else for you bad motherfucking stoners out there who I love to death. You ready for this one? This today, next Monday and Wednesday, because Valentine's Day and next Thursday. But listen, you don't even need for it to be Valentine's Day. You ever just wake up in the middle of the night? Like you ever get home at like 11 o'clock at nightly? What are you doing? You ever get home at 11 o'clock at nightly and you're in the mood to fuck for something to eat? And you ain't got dick. And low and on is on. There's usually something on TNT. The ultimate fight is on fucking fuel. Something's on. Something. And you got

nothing. You don't want a sandwich. Guess what? Right now, today, today, till the 14th, I think, Sherry's Berries is having a sale. For 1995 and up, you get fucking chocolate covered strawberries. Let me explain some to you motherfuckers here, because this is how I roll. I was going to bring a box today over here to work, but didn't send it out to me. But this is what I'm going to do for you motherfuckers. All right, Ted Cross, I love you too, cocksucker. Snowblind master, I love you. Damon, it's Bob Molly's birthday. How many fucking times are you going to tell me, all right? You want dreadlocks? Don't wash your fucking ball hairs. Here you go. Today, you go over the fucking 866 fruit zero dash two. You dial 866 fruit zero dash two. All

right? Or even better, fuck all that. You go to berries.com. I'm going to spell out berries for you, because a lot of dumb motherfuckers out there, berry, B-E-R-R-I-E-S, berries.com. You click on the microphone on top, happening. Okay? This is what you're going to do this, all right? To offer ends fucking next Wednesday before Valentine's Day. These are the best. When I was a kid, I used to go to Crouches up on Fairview Boulevard down Fridays. They'd be cars from here to fucking shit, Shangola. When people get in chocolate covered strawberries, they were just chocolate, dark chocolate. These motherfuckers got the white chocolate. They got the light chocolate. They got chocolate with fucking peanuts. They got chocolate. Oh, guys, listen, you get stoned.

Everybody wants a chocolate covered strawberries. I'm asking you for $19.99. That's 40% savings if you order today. You go to the microphone up on top and you press happening. Let me tell you how to spell happening, because I even know how to do that one too. H-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G. Happily. All right? Go to the fucking top box. $19.95. You get some beautiful chocolate covered strawberries that dipped in white chocolate, that dipped in milk chocolate, that dipped in dark chocolate. Lee, forget about it. You come home at 7 in the morning. You're getting hot. The news is on. You want to bang one out. How good would a fucking chocolate covered strawberry be? Oh, I love those. I like chocolate and nuts, so the strawberry under it.

Oh, and you like nuts too? You felt the animal look at you. I like strawberry and nuts. What's the matter with you? What? No, I like chocolate and nuts. Fucking... What's the mess? Yeah, it means you're like an asshole with little peanuts, huh? What would you do with this black chick? That's what we're going to do. We're going to get the black chick to put little crunched peanuts in your ass. No, we're not. And when she fights, that's the strap where you get chocolate covered peanuts in your fucking face. Who's better than you, Lee? Those are the kind of chocolate I want. Lee, get it together. Go to berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com. Put happening in the box. Get a nice order of chocolate covered strawberries for your girlfriend.

They'll have it there by Valentine's Day. You'll look like a hero. And guess what? Guess who gets his dick sucked on Valentine's Day? You do because you got to fucking cherries, berries. That's how I roll here. I don't fuck around people. I ain't got time for fucking funny games. Lee Syat, what do you got planned this weekend? Talk to your uncle, Joey. This weekend, I got nothing, man. Lee, you got to fucking do something. You got to start doing something. This is what I'm talking about. You sit here all weekend. Last week, you were sitting here. Sorry, I was trying to find, for people who want to go on Joey's page, I'm trying to find the link because when link pops up, it doesn't open correctly. But if you go to Joey's page and

Facebook. On Facebook, yeah. It's just on it, T's limited launch. And you can sign up to get some notifications for it. But yeah, man, I've just been working so much. And I do stuff on the weekends. I have fun on the weekends, but it's one of the things I'm jealous about you. I don't have anything planned or anything. It's just jealous. I don't have nothing planned. Well, you got gigs. You're going up to San Jose. I go to San Jose. It's been from them going to West Palm Beach. But I got to go to Dr. Ted. Just fucking, you know, it's an open. I don't go anywhere. You dropped me to San Jose. And Joe Rogan's gonna have to get me a helicopter. I know I can't even fucking fly. Oh, you can't fly with it. I don't know. I don't fucking know. They told me Monday

it could go down. And it hasn't opened yet. It looks like, it looks like fucking BJ Penn punched me in the ear 50 fucking times. Jesus. And I'm putting drops in there. They gave me an antibiotic. I got to eat fucking yogurt. Yeah. But no, it hurts brutally. I mean, it fucking hurts a lot. That's all. I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I going to do? People keep fucking texting me. What do you people call them before? It's fucking Wednesday. Get your shit together. I got nothing planned. I'm going to West Palm Beach. And then I'm here for the month. I'm trying to put together a testicle testaments. I'm trying to write, you know, like I said, I read that Stephen King book. And it always says that when you want to write something

to write, what gives you pain and right, something that bothers you to write. And that whole thing I was talking about, wow, Leah, when you put it, it's amazing when you walk around with something in your mind. But then it's really amazing when you put a thought down on paper, how it looks on paper. When I read the shit, I did that winter. It fucking, so I'm going to, my next testicle testament I'm going to do is about that winter. So you had a crazy two years because you did a testicle testament already that we haven't released, but it's the summer of 83. Well, that's, it ties into that. So that's what I'm saying. So you had the craziest summer of your life. And that blended in. The funniest thing is I've been talking to Stacy on the phone lately, Karini. Okay. The chick

I robbed December 18th, 1983. She's a yoga instructor. And I'm going to have her call until the show either next week or the week after. I'm also going to have Rock or a Beastie call the show next week. The director, I did a Jojo dance. Where's your life? But I'm going to have her call in and talk about, you know, how she for years for 30 years, she didn't know who robbed the house, but she always had an idea. It was me and this other fucking guy. I think he robbed the first and I robbed the second. But it's really weird because there's a point in our lives where we sabotage our own life. Not usually, you're a smart kid, you know, but there's a lot of people that sabotage themselves. Well, I think the food I eat is part of me sabotaging a little bit, but I didn't mean

to interrupt. Go ahead. No, no, no. You do good. I'm talking about sabotage yourself in life. Just when everything is going good, you don't show up to work because we're scared of success. We're scared of something. You know, when you're a young age, then one day you overcome that hurdle. What was I talking about? You sabotage yourself? Yeah, you sabotage yourself. You don't know what the fuck's going on. It's so weird how once you break out of that, you know, for years I sabotage myself. Every time I caught a fucking break, I would, you know, do something fucking stupid or something like that. And I don't even know what point we're trying to make. Well, up until five years ago or was it? Oh, it's 83. I was so fucking happy in Colorado. I was robbing people. I was

snorting coke. I was going to school. You know, I had a day job as an electrician. You know, I had a day job as a residential electrician. I was taking, I was taking courses at Colorado Mountain College. I was getting my dick sucked once a month. I really wasn't into that. I had a girl that I slept with upstairs once a month at whatever. She was a drunk and I was a coke fiend. You know, nobody knew about my coke problem and I had it great. But one day I woke up and I go, no, no, no, no. My life is too good. Let me complicate this and let me move back to fucking North Bergen, New Jersey. And the reason why I went to North Bergen, New Jersey is for the reason that anybody does with the fuck that is something stupid. Pussy. Once you grow pussy

involved in something, it fucks everything up because what the pussy is and what we see is two different fucking things. Okay. It's just a piece of pussy or a girl that wants to date you. We see a child and a kid. I wasn't looking at a piece of pussy. I was looking at this girl was going to salvate me. She was going to save me. She was going to get me into a house and stop me from doing dumb shit. And we all know you got to fucking save yourself. So I went on this tear. I mean, I went on this tear. I went to Miami and insulted my fucking family down there. I made a jerk out of my godfather. I mean, to this day the guy who baptized me in church wants to shoot me. He lives in the keys of Miami. He doesn't want any contact with me at all but to shoot me.

I just had a friend of mine look into him about a year ago and ask him. He don't even want me to call. He's that furious at me but fuck him. He slipped with me too. So fuck him. You know, I fucked over this lady who took good care of me for years. You know, it's funny. I was telling you last week that people always write in once a month. I always get some fucking comedian that says, Hey man, you made up your fucking past. Nobody can make up being a loser. I can see if I make up going to Mars or being a marine and shooting 25 Japs or something like that. But that's not it. I talk about stories about being a loser. So if you don't want to believe this shit, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Lili, you don't even look stone today.

What are you talking about? You got no one to. That's it, Lili. Edibles from now on because I can't have this. Every time I come here, you're slipping. You spilled the water the other day. I spilled the water. It's everybody you fucking every day. Fucking guy. The cherry tree pocket. I love it. I love that we're on fucking line with people. You know, it's six in the morning and we're talking to people. We're great in our own fucking universe. Yeah. And, you know, like I said the other day, I love you motherfuckers early in the morning. If I had to do a podcast in the afternoon for you guys, I'll do it, but I'd rather do

something in the mornings and get to you guys early. So you get out there. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Lee, what music you got for Young with Joey? Play me something, Lee. You know, it's Bob Marley's birthday. You don't want to roll no reefer. You don't want to do fucking good. You like Bob Marley? I don't. I mean, he's not one of my favorite. I mean, I like his music, but it's not one of the ones that it's not like I would ever sit down and listen to him. So you rather not smoke a joint with Young with Joey and listen to this fucking poor black guy with dreadlocks? No, I'd love to, but...

You'd rather go to some concert and see a bunch of Spanish people. What's the band with the fucking chopsticks? Infected Mushroom Israelis. Infected Mushroom Israelis. Look at you. Yeah. Here we go. Hit it. No woman, no cry. Oh shit, Lee. It's Wednesday, cock suckers. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get out there. Get out there, hit the floor with both hands. They're waiting for you. They're waiting for you. Go to school, sign up for a karate class. Who's up? Who gives a fuck? You can smoke a joint, go to karate. Italy. No woman, no cry. Yeah. What, Lee? It's a beautiful day. Yeah. Listen to this shit.

You don't like my Lee. That's your mom. Look at Simon. Lee, you're slipping. People don't see these fucking Jews with yarmulkes jumping up and down. We don't want to see this fucking poor black guy with dreadlocks dropping knowledge, believing in Josh shit. No, and people are gonna hate on me. I mean, it's not that it is what I hate on you, but I got to get your priorities set. All right. This is the backbone of the organization here. This is Bob Marley. He stopped taking showers for you. You follow me? He fucking dreadlocks. He stopped taking showers for fucking Lee, and this is how you treat him. I'm sorry, Bob. Good friends we lost along the way.

So what else? That's all you got for your uncle Joey this week. I'm going to go home. I'm going to write. I got to go to the doctor. I got to see the kids all weekend. I got to go to fucking West Palm Beach tomorrow night. San Jose, you know, San Jose is always crazy. Oh, this is a crazy fucking tomorrow night. Tweety's cousins will be there. You know, I've been trying to get Tweety on the phone. Tweety's the guy that I talked on the Joe Rogan podcast about that picture of the plane when the guy was throwing the bundles of coke off the plane and giving you that podcast. Yeah. And then two days later, his cousins showed up to one of the shows in San Jose that the Burbank Flappers. So he connected me with Tweety. He was like a cousin of mine. I was going to have

Tweety on the podcast one day last week. Lee Storm Perot from throwing the bales of coke at the fucking plane. So he really can't call and talk about it. So I'm sorry about that. But his cousins will be up there. Jamie Acosta will be up there. San Jose is one of those places. The number one place for these podcasts for Joe's mind is the Bay Area. San Jose, San Francisco, Sacramento. People go fucking nuts up there. People go fucking nuts up there. So I'm going to Sacramento March, March 20, 23. And I guess I'll be at San Jose tomorrow, bitches. Oh, Thursday night. I'm not bringing t-shirts. Go to Joey Coco Diaz.net. The new web page should be up. The new t-shirts are ready. We got hoodies. Oh shit, really? We got fucking, I don't know if

it's up today, but it should be up by next week. We got fucking Churchill, what's happening now, hoodie, a long sleeve, commemorable t-shirt, and a regular short t-shirt that's going to go up. I don't think he's got the new one up there. It's not up quite yet. They're waiting for me to send a fucking blog and I can't write a blog. It's been very hard to write. You know, I'm trying to write this one thing. You haven't put out a blog in a while. It's fucking since August. Since August. And I had something to write about. I went to eat with these people a couple of weeks ago, and the fucking kid at the end didn't say thank you. And it always dawned on me how that's the first thing my mother taught me as a fucking kid, is to say thank you to people.

How important it is to say thank you to people. And some people say thank you, you know, they're just saying thank you. My mother taught me to say thank you to people, so they felt like they did something for you. I had an issue with the girlfriend once and some girls have gotten mad at me, but the way I was brought up, I don't like girls paying for stuff. Like every once in a while, once you're dating for a while, but for the first while, I don't let girls pay for anything. So you're a sucker. I'm a nice guy. I know I'll let them pay for something, but like for dinners and stuff, I feel weird. You want to pay for condoms? No, I'll buy condoms. Who said I wear condoms? But anyway. You fucked straight, you felt the

angle? Sometimes. You ain't meat to meat. The whatnot when you say like that sounds gross, but anyways, what I was going to say was I had a girlfriend once and for the first like two months we dated, we went out and we would go out like every weekend or something more than that. And she like never wants to thank you. And like, I never thought about it before, but after going out like seven or eight times and never said it, it started eating at me. So I know what you're saying when people don't say thank you. It's the weirdest fucking thing. I never understood how, and I've noticed it about him a couple of times and this one day I really noticed it because there was a bunch of us. It was an expensive restaurant and you know,

listen, I don't give a fuck. You know, if I have the money, I don't give a fuck if you don't have the money to eat, I'll pay it. I don't even care about the thank you, but there was other people who paid. And he looked at me and just got up and I'd never ever seen anything like that in my life. And I felt like saying something to him like a week later and I go, who the fuck am I? No, I don't, I don't know who it is. But the one question I would have is, is he rich? Like, did he grow up rich? No. Oh, wow. He didn't grow up rich. So that's what I don't understand. That's surprising to me. That surprises to me that he's a working staff, you know, his parents, he was raised by two parents. But when was the stay home? You know,

he worked hard and his parents worked really hard growing up. And that's what I can't understand either, that he just has no, there's no common sense. I don't understand somebody who's very smart but has no common sense. I've never understood that. And it's not like you have to say it every time, but like, like we have to say it every time. If somebody takes the time out to do something nice for you, well, I have to say fucking thank you, bro. I mean, it's the least that you can do for somebody. You know, I remember being a kid and there was this family of Tristano on my block. And she would make like meatball sandwiches in the summer, like, you know, and cut them into, you know, and just give them to the kids in the afternoon when we're out there

playing. She'd give us lemonade or whatever the fuck we're doing. And it's so weird that one day I just took one. I just took one one day and turned my back with the napkin. And I heard Hos Antonio, my mother, you know, and I looked at her like, what? I mean, and she was like, come here. And I came over and I was finishing the sandwich and she said, do me a favor, go over to that woman and tell her fucking thank you. Just right now. And I go, I did. She goes, no, you didn't. You told the thank you, but you didn't look in her fucking eyes. She goes, you have no idea how hard she's cooked, you know, to make you those meatballs or the sandwich. I don't know what the fuck she yelled at me about. But she goes, go say thank you and look in the eye. Anytime a woman gives you

food, whether it's good or bad, say thank you, they took the time. And I remember saying going over and saying, thank you, being agitated on the walk there, but on the walk back, and when you know what, my mother had a point. How would I feel if I made a bunch of fucking sandwiches and nobody thanked me? And you know what, that's how I felt that day at the restaurant. I was like, fuck 35 fucking years later, it's more. I had to be like a kid, like eight or nine, you know, 40 years later, the lesson came back to bite me in the ass. How bad it seems. You don't say thank you or take the fucking time to even say thank you. I've never understood that problem. I never, there's so many fucking things that I don't understand anymore. And that's one of, you know, I, we were talking

about customer service on Monday. You and I were talking about customer service. I'm not going to say the spot. My shin guards broke, you know, for kickboxing. My shin guard broke. The top strap broke. I got big fat fucking calves. So I took it to him. Now, I'm going to be honest with you, when they took it to him, it was my responsibility. My cat's the fat one, my calf's the fat one. If they would have sold it and said to us, we'll snitch it back on and charge you, I wouldn't have gotten that. Not at all. Lee, not at all. I fucking, I'm responsible. I dropped it off. I said, when can I pick it up? They go, we'll stitch it back. It was Wednesday. They said, come back Thursday. I said, no, I'll be out of town. How about I just pick it up Monday, take your time.

Guy goes, okay. Now, the day I went to drop it off, the place that it opens at 10, I was outside till 10 fucking 20. Okay. And I gave him the thing and then I left. And the second time when I went to pick him up Monday, it was like at the end of the day, was on Laurel Canyon. So it was on my spot up. I pulled over. I got a park around the fucking building. I walked in 10 minutes for the guy to come in. He was out in his car talking to his friend. He comes in and as I go to him, do you have my knee braces? He takes his cell phone and he shows a picture to his friend like that to have a conversation. Yeah. And I look at the guy and the girl behind the counter goes, no, I didn't take him out of your car. So 20 minutes, I waited,

I waited all weekend, now I'm here 10 fucking minutes and you're going to tell me that you don't have my fucking knee pads. I go, where those knee pads? They go, no, they're not here yet. I looked at the guy, go, listen, I'll come back tomorrow, dog, have those fucking knee pads. I got to drive here from the other side of town. Yesterday I get there again. They couldn't find them. Couldn't find my fucking shin guards. I finally looked at the guy, go, guy, you're going to make me fucking come back. He goes, no, I'll just give you a new pair. It was four days. It was four hours out of my fucking time. Like not an hour. It's like 20 minutes. I got to drive over there. But do you understand what I say to people about customer service, bro? That's it. I'll never

go there again. Why would I go there again? It cost me my time. I'll pay you extra as long as you got my shit ready to rock when it's ready to rock. And he could have called you and said, listen, Mr. Diaz, we're having some problems. And then he would have been fine. But do they have you go there twice? At the fucking go up there? It's a nightmare. It's not like you pull up in front and go in. They got no parking. She got to pull around the corner. You know, I got the baby and the wife in the fucking car. I got to walk a half a mile and they tell you it's not there. This is what I'm talking about customer service. You know, again, the guy has a sign that says, open up. Have you noticed that Lee in California, everybody's late? Absolutely. Yeah. And what did

they tell you when they show up? Traffic. Do me a favor. Leave 10 minutes early. Yeah. If I told you I had a piece of pussy at 10 a.m. for you, you'd be here five to 10. You follow me? Have you watched that Vince Lombardi special on HBO? No. You know who Vince Lombardi is? Yeah. Okay. If you guys, for you guys are lacking fucking character, watch the Vince Lombardi special. Watch what this guy was selling. Is it like a 30 for 30 or something? Yeah. It's on HBO. It's a documentary on HBO. You don't have HBO? No. I have a free past. Okay. They just play at December 1st. I have it at the house. You will cry. When I first started comedy on my notebook, it had a thing that said, you know, at the greatest moment any man could achieve is lifting his head up on the field

and knowing that he put everything he had into this game. There's something that he said that was like that. 20 years ago, I had that in my comedy notebook, because I always knew that this, you know, people always say to me in the morning, Joey, your words, they inspire me. What the fuck? I'm talking about washing dick with, but you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, I'm telling you to be prepared to get out there, have your dick ready to go to fucking war, which means have your heart and your soul ready to go to war. And that's all Lombardi ever wanted from his players. You know, he had no color blinds. He didn't care whether you're a fucking yam, Chinese. He didn't give a fuck. He loved his fucking players. You got to watch the special,

but the thing he installed about his fucking players is that there's no second, there's no second best, bro. Only now, if you play football, if you kid plays football, at the end of the season, the whole team gets a fucking trophy. It's not about that. It's about fucking winning and getting out there and doing what the fuck you got to do. Watch that Lombardi special and email me your fucking thoughts. Beside that, February 7th, we're at San Jose Improd. February 27th, I'm at the Ice House with my man, Lisa Yat, doing the Testicle Testaments. What else we got going on? We got the documentary still on payloads and iTunes. We got Testicle Testaments for how I got the comedy on iTunes. Don't just fucking sit there. Don't forget, a week from today, you want to get your dick sucked in

your balls, Link. Cherries, motherfucking berries. All right. Go to cherries. What is it? It's berries.com. Berries.com. Spell berries. We'll just get some spelling wrong. B-E-R-R-I-E-S. Dot com. Go to berries.com. Look at the strawberries you want. The selection. Go up to the box. What are you presently? Happening. Spell happening for these fucking people. Oh shit. H-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G. Oh shit. And the prices started in 1995. If you're going to get into health, which is what we're talking about. You're going to eat these fucking strawberries, you got to burn them off. You got to do jumping jacks. You got to roll around the fucking dirt. You got to do whatever the fuck you got to do. Go to honet.com. Order the three pack,

put church in the fucking box, and you get yourself 15% off. Who's better than Uncle Joey? Tell him I sent you. You get like a T-shirt and an explosive to pull up your ass and alpha brain juice to rub on your fucking toes, whatever the fuck it is. Lee, hit me with a little snow blind to get these people going. A little black Sabbath and get these people going. You're just getting tied on me, Lee. I'm getting tired. From now on, we're eating edibles from now on. Yeah, right. And I'm going to have them make the strong, strong, strong banana bread. The ones she gives to the fucking Germans. I love you guys. Have a fucking great week. The ones she gives to the Germans.