Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #025 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT
Episode Date: December 28, 2020Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we set the record straight on a few things..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: ...JOEY Go to https://www.cbdlion.com and enter Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint
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what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday December 28th Santa got hit
by a car who gives a fuck it's a whole new week with a whole new set of rules
and I'm coming to you from the motherfucking heart of Jersey where draft
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goods like Judas Priest and fucking 80 let's do this shit I love you motherfuckers
what's happening you bad motherfuckers Monday the 28th December ready for another
fun-filled week happy belated Christmas to you if I didn't see you happy belated
Christmas to your families I hope you guys did great you know it was what it
was I had a great time I really did man LA Christmas and LA you know everybody
the last day of civilization and LA is usually that Friday before Christmas so
this year would have been the 18th the day of my original surgery and it's so
funny that you know people have a half-day and right from the fucking
office they go right to the airport they disappear and all Christmas spirit
disappears in my life you know like there's no Christmas spirit there's
nothing yeah there's some kids nobody sings in front of your house nobody does
nothing now the development type of guy that sang in front of houses get the
fuck out of here I'm singing in front of a house I never wanted none of that but
when you have a family you know things change and you're looking for different
things this is one of the best Christmas I had in years I mean it really did what
is it we're here Monday the 28th Christmas basically started on Wednesday
for us it started a Friday before you know people had little outdoor
gatherings with eaters and hot cocoa and fucking cakes and shit like that God
knows what I way I did to take good care of myself there was four places I went
in a day four parties they had pizza and I didn't eat a slice at all four of them
so how's that if you had one slice of pizza this week so I'm trying you know
I'm saying you gotta you gotta fucking if not this place will kill you you know
many fucking people knocked on this door to give us cookies and shit like
that Italian plate because half the neighborhood some Staten Island the best
the best so they knocked on the door with cookies and stuff every night look
at it was just it was everything I wanted to be it was everything I wanted
for my daughter to be it was everything I wanted for my wife to see I knew that
there was life outside LA and I'm fucking a static that it all went down we
went out for Christmas night we went to a friend's very low-key they sang
Christmas songs I think we were home by 9 30 10 got fucked up drank a bottle of
coquito last week some Cuban eggnog you know you gotta do what you gotta do but
I'm back I'm back on the fucking program now I worked out four days a week so it
was no big deal I still lifted yesterday Saturday and I just left there this
morning so we're back we're ready to roll in the car for the beginning of the
year that's it as far as I'm concerned 2020 is behind me 2021 is the major
concern we got the movie coming out we got stand-up coming back you know
whether it comes back with a vaccine or not I'll be back doing outdoor gigs in
April like a motherfucker I've got uncle Vinnie's the fifth and the sixth and I
got the surgery on the 8th say 10 20 days after that I'm back on stage working
new material and we're going after it with or without the COVID I'm going on
stage with COVID I put like a fucking stick man giving COVID and we'll go on
stage together like a two-man team what are you gonna do what are you gonna do
you're gonna stay in your house and hide because of fucking COVID another year
you can't do it I understand the people who gonna be working from home or not but
there's ways to tighten up your game you already did in nine months of it it's
getting old so maybe set up a schedule do an hour get up go for a walk and do
another hour get up call you make some calls you know now well now you're
getting better at it don't expect that now corporations and businesses aren't
seeing this and saying you know what we go from a fucking eight thousand a month
nut to two thousand a month and just give assignments out the world's gonna
change the job market's gonna change everything is gonna change which is
good we would do for a fucking change things are getting a little fucking
boring with the fucking the same shit all the time you know and it's good
to people who were burnt out doing old jobs and now doing new fucking jobs you
know I was burnt out on fucking stand-up I'm very happy now I gotta go down
there once a week and do it do you think I want to go back to two shows a week
every other week with a fucking theater and planes and shit I'm not ready for
that right now I feel funny again I feel happy again my family's good Mike's
good we're running smooth smoked and fucking tremendous reefer the
patreon's going great so I got no regrets I did my time and I'm ready to go we
got a subject to talk about this week which was very interesting how it fell
on my lap and I wrestled with it for a few days before I wanted to bring it to
podcast because I'm not here to cause any problems I'm just telling you how what
evolution of a bad situation came out and basically he was the first comic
that got canceled throughout this whole thing and he basically canceled
himself you know last week we were talking about Tom Cruise how he went off
on his job you know people didn't like it and some people criticize him a
motherfucker likes me a motherfucker like me who is a fan of Tom Cruise whatever
his religious preferences I don't give a fucking piece of Scientologist what are
you gonna do with the guys waiting for Martians that's his business that's what
he does on Sundays you know I'm saying who gives a fuck you know what I do on
Sundays I go to church and try to not get hypnotized by the fucking pedophile
smoke you sit there and you hold on to your bread so everybody's got their own
trials and tribulations on a Sunday you know I'm saying you know he went off
about COVID the movie and you know social distancing and some people took
offense to it and I loved it because most people did take offense to it
especially the people in LA especially the five people that quit that job now
I'm not saying that you you know I have stuck up for myself in those
situations I have stuck up to myself when I've been right and a director or
producer has been wrong and yelled at me I could tell you if you look at my
IMDB Joey Diaz I've been on a thousand fucking projects and I think I may in
fact let's just sum it up to three where I had problems on a project let's
just sum it up to three you know the one commercial I did for our bees where the
director was just being an asshole American gun I think that I was being
an asshole and so were they and I got the brunt of it that's what happens shit
falls downhill and the longest yard I was a shit towards the end you know
baseball I robbed them blind from their fucking roller skates fuck them they're
still on TV South Park they got they got more roller skates in the roller
skate company so I'm not worried about them but pretty much you know with
comedy and stuff I was always trying to be a gentleman I always tried to
encourage other people you know I see somebody on stage doing a great joke
bro I'll go up to them afterwards and say hey man that made me laugh you know
whatever I'm not gonna go up to you and tell you a bad joke it's a good joke I'm
not fake that's not what I do either I'm not gonna sit in the back and go haha
you know those fake comic laughs to let you know that I laugh if it's fucking
funny but there's people who get insulted if you say things to them they
take it the wrong fucking way and I've apologized to people because people have
said I you kind of said the wrong way no I said it the right way you used to get
the wrong way because you're a fucking pussy and you don't want to fucking
accept it and you don't want to you know somebody to call you the fuck out
well for me to tell you the story I tell you the story in the beginning and in
chunks and we're gonna take it from there I got a call about 10 days ago
from a friend of mine and he was saying that John Capurulo had just worked the
club you know about a month earlier three walks months earlier and he was
bitching and complaining and saying negative shit about the store fuck all
of the skies and it's gonna be a parking lot anyway that they're gonna knock it
down and you know I feel bad from when I heard there was more stuff but who
gives a fuck when I heard the stuff he said I took a minute I hung up the phone
and I gotta be honest I didn't feel good about what had happened because what
Capurulo is really mad about was that he wasn't putting a documentary and he
wasn't considered a piece of the church family and I'm here to tell you and this
is nobody's fault and I'm not blaming anybody or anything
Capurulo should have been in it but because his behavior he wasn't putting
so let's start on what he did why he shouldn't be in there and how this all
went down I knew Capurulo since day one he was a sweetheart of a kid very quiet
very introverted one day like everybody else at that comedy store from
Hazel's trail the common moralists to all the people after a while you start to
see him the girl that made the Saturday Night Live you start to see them and
after three six nine months they start to get a little confidence they've been
around comics they've they've gotten to go up on stage a few times you know it's
it's it's an easier place one night you walk him and you'll see him on stage
hosting and you're like fuck and Capurulo was a funny fucking guy you know
he was younger than me he was there with Bobby Lee and all those guys I gotta
tell you they were having a great time and because they were having a great
time they were making me have a great time and I still remember one night
Capurulo was a doorman and he asked me for advice he asked me about how you get
more spots and Duncan Trussell was the talent coordinated and Duncan was
walking through the building I called them over I go Duncan come here for a
second talk to John he wants to know how to get more spots and well like I don't
know if you know this you gotta pay for your spots and he's like what do you
gotta pay him like $15 that's that's absurd that's exactly what I get what are
you gonna do John you gotta pay you want three spots it's 45 hours a week I'm
here to collect every Friday for Duncan and me and Duncan are laughing he's like
that's absurd and we're like we're fucking with you John I mean that's how
long we know John okay sweetheart of a kid never had a problem knew him when he
was dating girls still a great guy and then what happens when you stick with
something success finally happens and he started getting a little successful you
know he started I think he went to Montreal and he got watched up there and
you know from being at the store his his act was fucking tremendous and he got a
deal from Fox and I still remember him coming in and saying that Fox gave a box
of shirts t-shirts because you know John used to wear white t-shirts and stuff
all the time and listen at that time was 2000 something I had already learned as
a comic and as a human being that you couldn't be jealous you have to be
happy for the people in your circle especially at the store because when one
person moves up the notch that means you're gonna move the notch so I was
happy from but I know there's something else over the following couple weeks
John Capron's head started to get big little things how he parked the car he
quit his doorman job he was walking around you know saying little things he
was still a happy-go-lucky John but you could see that the deal had changed a
little bit it didn't affect me I still loved him for everything that he was he
was funny as fuck you know and this went on for a while you know it was great
and Bob and John and all of us and John's getting deals and then he did
something for Comedy Central and I saw him one day and it was a different side
of John he was very upset his face was red and he was mad because he wanted to
give the check back to Comedy Central he didn't think the special was good
enough and that's the first time I noticed that there might be a problem with
this guy I'm like he's back here cursing you know you got a guy like me that
can't get a fucking special I'm so bad and he's got a special he's back here
yelling and screaming how he wants to give the money back and blah blah blah
blah in the meantime Rogan's catching momentum Rogan's a powerhouse and fear
factor you know you can't deny it that he's bringing in most of the people on
Fridays and Saturday nights into the club well that's you know gets a little
couple people pissed off not to mention they would give him a half hour since
so many people coming in to see him they would give him from 11 to 11 30 they
would put me up from a quarter to 11 to 11 and Harry from 10 30 to a quarter to
11 so we basically jacked the fucking original room lineup from whatever per
Rogan Rogan was like you're going in front of me Harry goes in front of him
everybody else has to suck your dick that's great but when you do that again
you create tensions and people there was little whisperings they wouldn't
say it to me they know better to say it to me but there was little whisperings
you know you heard little whisperings going around at that time I was deep
into my addiction so I didn't really give a fuck you to suck my dick anyway so
this one on and then again you're gonna have to fact check me on dates on this
Maxim did the men of comedy tour with Charlie Murphy and Joe Rogan and John
Heffron and while they were on the road I would still call in for spots down to
the store this has to be 2006 guys the beginning of 2007 maybe 2005 maybe no
2006 2007 because I was still doing coke I'm up there one night I'm about ready to
go up I'm not going up at no 1045 Joe wasn't there to take care of me I was
at like an 1130 spot maybe 1145 and John and Tommy come up to me and though I
came in and John had a hat on he had like his chest out okay I'm not listen I
was deep into the addiction I was deep into it was going on in my world my
world was getting really dark and you know something had to be done eventually
and I looked at these two guys and they're like when your daddy comes back
things are gonna change and I'm like whoa whoa what are you talking about guys
and they're like when Joe Rogan comes back it's not gonna be how it is and I
go listen I don't even know what you're telling me this for what the fuck you're
telling me this for tell him what are you telling me this shit for and they
said a bunch of other shit I did my spot I went home and it wasn't till I got
home like those guys just did a declaration of fucking war I mean like
I didn't pick it up at the time you ever you ever get into an argument or
something and you don't really know what happened till after it happened you
get in the car and you drive away that's why I felt I was like they just
declared war I mean they didn't even know if I hadn't had three bumps in me
already and I was in a scared junkie I'm only probably gone down there fight
them both but I said you know what I'll give them breathing who the fuck am I
I don't I don't give a fuck about this shit so that's exactly what I did I
didn't say nothing about it I avoided John you know I always make mental notes
he got away with this one the next one I'll fucking say something and Tommy he
could suck my dick through so time goes on you know maybe a month two months go
on I get a call it's Tommy and he's telling me that fucking Carlos Mancey
is coming in there and bumping people and he doesn't feel that Carlos should be
bumping people I tell him listen the last time I checked when you're a fucking
you have your own TV show you can bump whatever the fuck you want to bump so
bump your way off this phone call go fuck yourself what he was trying to do
is plant the seed to me to call Rogan to get Rogan on fire up that that wasn't
happening he wanted he was trying to tell me that Capurulo was funnier than
Carlos and that Carlos shouldn't be go be allowed to go in there and fucking do
his thing and I was totally against it I was like no you've been bumping all
along you got the wrong fucking guy so at that time I was getting the fat lump
or move from my neck I had my own dilemmas going and sure enough one night
I hear Rogan gets thrown out of there and you know Rogan gets into with Mike
Feynman I look at the video and then Rogan people were sticking up the Joe and
they said that they had to go to the store on Friday night to do like a
protest and people didn't go down there and I thought for me that was the end
of my career in my days at the comedy store I had a back Joe for years people
bother Joe about Carlos Mancia and that he's a joke thief finally Joe sticks up
and these comics folded like a bunch of fucking folding chairs you know and I
saw that and I and for years I thought I was part of something I thought I was
part of sons anarchy I thought I was part of Hell's Angels I thought I was
part of the mafia I thought I was part of something I wasn't even part of the
boys club of America those motherfuckers you know the Boy Scouts of America that
showed me comedy really had nothing as a brotherhood they have certain clicks
yes but as a brotherhood we do that night nobody stuck up for Joe so I knew
what path now now you know what this means you got to get two guns you just
can't have the gun in your holster you got to get one in your side piece now
because now we see how this game is played this game is not played by
awful one one for all this game is played of all you guys want to do that
like when you saw the document the the store documentary Jay Leno crossed the
line there's always one comic that's gonna do what he wants to do because
desperation is a motherfucker in this world I'm not saying Jay was desperate
but you know a spot's a spot's a spot people will do anything for a spot
they'll sell their mother for a spot yes they will suck your dick for a spot an
LA yes they will so you know I just stopped going down there and I focused
my energies on the thing you know Greg Garcia gave me a recurring role on my
name is Earl I had some other stuff going on but I still kept in touch with
a handful of people from the store and every time again I'm lying to you if I
said every time but every let's say every five conversations I had with
somebody from the store John Capurulo's name popped up like I said I had no
hatred for him I liked him I thought he was a funny comic I respect them I was a
little off kilter with him from his remarks that night and but now I was
starting to lose respect from the things I was hearing he was telling comics to
their faces that he sucked he was telling comics that they couldn't go up to
after him he had Tommy in his back pocket and they were you know just doing
shitty things together with the other comics and not the comics from the
improv or the laugh factory or the haha or fucking you know comics from other
sectors if you want to go to war that way I get that as a goof but you were
doing it to comics in the comic store we all work together we were all made by
Mitchie Shaw it was a commune it was a compound it was all these beautiful
fucking things and yeah I'm not here to fucking tell you I was Johnny perfect I
was in there snorting coke and getting my dick sucked and eating assholes and
doing drugs you know I was doing my thing too but at the same time I wasn't
up there putting down comics or torturing them or telling people who
could go up or who can't go up or you know whatever yeah I ran the fucking
open mic on Sunday nights and Mitchie Shaw you know comics would sign their
names up that were fucking not she what she didn't like them so they'd be there
all day sign their name and when I give it a list you go get them out of here get
them out again the people thought it was me it's not me it's Mitchie I would
never throw anybody this is an art you do what you do but throughout this
fucking I stayed out of the store from 2000 maybe seven to 2013 and I got to
tell you that every month I heard something else about this capital rule
guy saying this doing this him and Tommy doing this Tommy telling girls they
weren't funny I was just hearing about this this new place that I wasn't a part
of it was an ego place at the time Crystal Lee it was developing there you
know I don't I think capital rule I had a problem with him but you know things
had happened that on the Wild West tour it was capital rule and Brett
Ernest and Sebastian and I met I met I think I'm not sure don't quote me on
this and there was a problem there you know he was having a problem with Bobby
Lee John capital rule was having a problem with Rick Ingram John capital
rule was just becoming a problem at the store and I had I had no dog in the
fight it had nothing to do with me so I stayed out of it I get a call one day
that they called Tom they caught Tommy with his hands in the cookie jar you know
I was blown away because I always thought he was a trust-run kid and for him to be
stealing hundred dollar bills and again I'm a thief I'm not gonna judge him I'm
just telling you the facts just in case everybody anybody wants to come back and
going on other the facts they hired a guy to go in there were hundreds they put
the hundreds and they went they looked back the hundreds of gun Tommy was
behind the register they fired him he took the fucking firing he saw on some
island playing fucking what's like fucking dude's name he's yeah he's
singing Jimmy Buffett songs at a fucking bar right now wasted away and can
Marie Margarita Margarita now this leaves John Caparulo I get the call to go
down there I go down there when I got the call to go back to the store in 2014 I
said this is the chance to redeem myself for all the shit I had done down there
before I had met Terry you know I was on a complete tear I was on a complete
tears as an addict you know I was drinking I was I was a comic man I was
just being a young stupid fucking comic that's it and everything that goes down
with it and whatever was going on down there was going on down there you know
you guys have heard 20 stories and you have no idea what was going on down there
so for you to sit there and judge well for any of these girls today these
comics today to sit there and judge about what was going on 20 years ago they
have no fucking idea so they could all shut that mouth and go fuck themselves
97 98 2000 was a way different time at the economy story than what it was today
so I get the call to go back in 2013 again I don't expect nothing I don't make
no demands nothing I'm very happy doing comedy living the way I'm living I got
a chance to go back to the store you know I go back down there fucking great
night Tuesday night no problem I went down there like a Thursday I was going
down there for about a month my return to the economy store was in August I
remember because I had a colonoscopy like August something and Lee drove me down
to the thing and then that week I started going to the store I was at the
store maybe two months before I even saw caparulla my concerns were not
caparulla my concerns were personally myself going back down there after about
two months of me going down there I noticed that Joe Rogan started going
down there and the boys were back down there I was trying to go back down there
and all this shit okay I like I said I'm I got a daughter I I got a wife I got a
podcast I got a career on the road I'm not even thinking about John caparulla
and one night I pull up down there and I hear arguing and I see all this fucking
arguing and it's supposedly John caparulla had moved farther away from the
comedy store and he got caught in traffic and he couldn't make his spot so on
the way down they had to find other comedians to fill his spots and the only
comic that was there was Joe Rogan well John caparulla doesn't like firing fire
he doesn't like going up behind good comics he wants to be the best comic in
the room he wants it he does not want to fire follow heat at all by no means at
no fucking expense he is not as it is a fucking thing so he's calling them the
the front girl that I could get on the podcast and tell you the story and just
tell them now don't let them put Rogan on anybody else but Rogan anybody else
but Rogan don't let them put Rogan on I guess they put Rogan on he came in and
he either left or through a fit I think one time he left that they had put
somebody else up and one time he threw a fit I know about the fit for sure I
could fucking you could fact check me on the fit for sure whether he left or not
is something different but I think I could come down to the fact that he did
leave one night because he didn't follow what they don't want to follow he well
right away I'm like look at this motherfucker already starting fucking
problems so I think after the Rogan thing cuz the the Rogan thing happened
and he got really upset and then after he'd think the night he left he just
stopped going to the store so I went back to the store in August wrote Rogan
went back in October and Capurulo probably stopped coming in November so
that December 31st as we usually did every year I did the recap of the year
with Rogan on the JRE podcast and he goes man it's good to see you you killed
last night I mean everybody was killing we're having a great time I mean it was
it was way different than I remember the 98 97 you know we were doing well as
comics nobody was on the tonight show or not then nobody had Netflix specials but
it was great to see people from the bottom of your heart you were up there
cheering for Ari I was cheering for Duncan I was cheering for Bird I was
cheering for Tom I was cheering for Rick Ingram you know you were cheering for
the people in front of your Whitney Cummings Eliza Slashinger I'm up there
fucking dying a laughter and you know and then you got this fucking sleeping
pill just fucking capurulo guy who walks in you know tell this guy and then
fucking leaves you got Sebastian you got Bobby Lee you got all this love and
all this positivity and then you got this walking fucking hemorrhoid that
will go up there and you can see he was hot so he stopped coming up there so we're
sitting in the Rogan studios and Rogan's like man we've been having a great
time lately at the store I wonder what the fuck it is do you have any idea go
yeah Tommy and that fucking cunt capurulo a gun that's that's the truth
that's the dog it was the honest to God fucking truth you know two days later
my Twitter handle is blowing the fuck up with capurulo hate fuck you and you
know I'm young I'm a little you know not young but I'm buck wild I go at him
fuck you fuck that we start going back and forth I'm reading a book on
Roberto Durant at the time and when Roberto Durant fought Sugar Ray Leonard
they were up in Toronto for the first fight and Sugar Ray Leonard went to
introduce his wife to Roberto Durant he goes honey look who it is Roberto let's
go home and say hello to him so they walked over and said hello to bro Durant
Roberto Durant took a look at him and goes I can't wait the fucker in the
ass fucking Sugar Ray cracked he cracked so hard he ended up losing the fucking
fight I mean that's the psychological warfare of it so when he was going at me
I was going at him psychologically John I'm gonna fuck your wife in the ass I'm
saying all this shit on Twitter because I'm just a fucking animal I never met
his wife I heard she's a beautiful person and I should have been saying those
things but it's all fair and love and war and we're comedy store comics and
you've been a real fucking scumbag the comics for the last seven years and it's
ending fucking right now it's ending they're like it was ending so I just
fucking went off fuck you we threatened each other he's gonna fucking do this to
me I'm gonna do that to him so listen let's just eliminate the whole fucking
thing come on down to the store tonight bitch I'll be that eight o'clock and I
get down to the store and some people are hearing about it some people got their
eyes open and sure enough he pulls up with his E28 and he gets out and he
walks right towards me you know and he fucking stepped up I don't know and his
face was all red and stuff and before I could let him get set you know me dog
I'm Hudson County straight up straight up New York City straight up Hudson
County something's coming from somewhere I already got a brick that's loose but
all I gotta do is clap and the vibration will loosen it and they'll hit you in
the fucking head I'm one of those guys so as he went to turn right into me like
yeah before I could catch him and he could catch the leverage instead of
leg kicking him I did the second best thing the leg kick a spit to the face a
spit to the face is very tremendous because he didn't even hear it coming it
was already sitting in the gargoyles of my fucking throat and I got him half in
his mouth and half in his face and he started going like this it was the
funniest thing you ever seen because when he landed as his head landed it was
perfect it just went to and he's like and he went back and he's like how dare
you you know his his ego was so fucking big and he went to throw a punch at me
and thank God there was a an open mic comic there is sweeter another guy who's
mad at me and I'm mad I'm not mad at him anymore things got out of hand that
desperation you know everybody thinks that somebody could change your life and
and and hollywood they really can't you have to do the work yourself but this
poor nice sweetheart of an open mic before fucking John Capurillo could
turn he catches John Capurillo with a punch to the fucking head you couldn't
ruin this fucking thing and nobody said anything time just stopped Capurillo
looked around he ran into the main room and I guess he had a follow Marin and
Marin was up on stage and Marin said he brought him up and he was bringing him
up he kept wiping his eyes like what happened and he's like I'm not gonna
believe what happened so Marin waited for him and he got off he told Marin that
I spit in his face and blah blah blah and you know and then he went home and
we went back and forth to add it again and I just fucking told him I said
listen man your best bet is not to come down there you know you did a lot of bad
shit to a lot of good comics you had a lot of good comics feelings and one
thing about me I take one thing really fucking serious I take when people fuck
with people's dreams when people fuck with people's dreams you're a certain
type of fucking animal so he was fucking with people's dreams man he told a lot
of things a lot of bad people he told a lot of good people some bad things he
judged them he judged their comedy he judged their jokes there's a couple of
motherfuckers at the store that didn't want them following you like oh I'm not
gonna follow you there was a particular motherfucker he knows what a fuck it is
creators of shows and shit he'd be calling Adam don't let I don't want to
follow Joey and then he would come up to me before my shows and say like to try
to piss on my leg like oh are you gonna go rogue tonight or are you gonna be
organized and I would tell him I'm gonna fucking do what I do bitch but if you
want to you could sit down with me and teach me how to write comedy because you
could write all the comedy you want you'll never be as funny as I won't
writing jokes and being funny it's two different fucking things so you could
sit there and write all the Netflix specials you want that don't mean you're
fucking funny I could read the yellow pages blindfolded and fucking make you
fucking die a laughter so I don't even know where we were at you know John took
a breather he started going to the comedy magic club Adam from the store told
him to take a breather you know right away he went at Rogan he went at me he
went out a bunch of us saying that this is a conspiracy to get him out no it was
everybody wanted him out nobody wanted him there he had made that place a
living fucking hell and he knew it he started going down to the orange whatever
the comedy magic club fucked them too and he got thrown they hit him with a
fucking glass they threw a glass on some Trump hater or Trump later Trump
supported through a glass Adam and you know he must I saw that and I felt bad
I wasn't happy about that like he's getting beat up outside but then he did
the ultimate sin he did two things that cost him everything one he put out a
podcast after he got hit about you know he ran with the bullying and the whole
thing and nobody bullied him when him and Tommy were having a good time
bullying people you know everybody was jumping up and down now when it when the
tables turned he didn't like it he put out this whole podcast about getting
bullied and blah blah blah guess what everybody talked to each other nobody
said a word the podcast disappeared he fizzled into the night and then Mitchie
Shaw died they checked around they called him the town coordinator some of
the managers said you know what he did his time here he was a real man call him
up he was here during Mitzi I agreed Capurillo should be here everybody they
invited him to go down there he went down there he picked three fucking fights
he started three fights he started three arguments with three different comics
Ari Steve Run is easy and Bobby Lee so they gave him another chance and he went
down and he was a jerk off again you know he was a Joe jerk off again so you
know when this club owner told me that he was disgruntled that he was saying
the club was over anyway you know a 20 year ago Joe Diaz would have been very
happy with us and fuck him no I feel really bad for how this ended for John
that's why I wanted to tell this story you know I can't imagine him and his
wife watching that documentary and not seeing even three minutes of John but
hey there were a lot of other people that deserved to be in that documentary
that weren't in that documentary then my heart goes out to them but John no I'm
sorry you didn't get put in the documentary and you didn't deserve to
get put in the documentary for what you did you went against the people that
Mitchie Shaw was trying to rise up that's what you did you went against us
and you know what my police record is gonna live forever that I fucking got
arrested and I did time burglary whatever the fuck I did that documentary
from Showtime is gonna be up for fucking ever and I wasn't one of the stars
of that fucking documentary but I was in it and that that means I'm gonna be in
there forever and the sad thing about this is because of your fucking ego
because of your fucking ego and your inability to work as a team and to be a
part of a family listen I don't know I'm not part of no clubs I'm not part of
no affiliations you know I'm not with the rampers I'm not with a fucking biker
gang or whatever I'm a human being and I treated people like a human being yeah
at times I fucked up I made a guy get in the trunk with a machine gun I wasn't
all derried that wasn't all the perfect fucking thing but when I got to that
comedy store my first tenure there I was just a wild comic I didn't know what I
was doing but when I went back there as my second tenure I went back as a
mature adult comic and I had a lead by example and that's what I tried to do
and I tried to be a gentleman to the younger fucking comics and that's what
you didn't do you were a scumbag thumb and that's why now you're gonna be
miserable the rest of your life over not being on this documentary and being
treated like that from the people from the store I feel bad for you and I pray
for you and I light a candle for you that your life changes and that your
anger from this situation goes away because it's really gonna alter your
comedy and right now what you have to worry about is the mileage you have to
feed your house payment and your wife and your kid your beautiful wife your
beautiful child and your beautiful family John Caparulo I had nothing against
you what I had against you was your ego and your inability to fucking
apologize to be a fucking man and say yeah I did it who cares nobody would
care in a year you have been back at the store you've been rocking and rolling
and you would have been one of us family again you chose to be angry walk
around with a red face and go to the comedy fucking magic club and do magic
tricks with those fucking humps so if you're upset if I upset you in any way
I wasn't born to upset you what to cancel you all I wanted to do was to call
you out for what you had been doing to some of the comics at the store and the
attitude you came up to me up with with that night which you and Tommy I should
have taken his boat and lit his boat on fucking fire but I was too fucked up on
my cocaine and with all my problems and what everything else but today I'm the
man I want to be you know I'm very happy with who I am I'm very happy that I
did my tenure at the store I'm happy I did my tenure on the documentary and
I'm not happy that you're not on it I wish you would have been on it you deserve
to be on it what I'm not happy with is that you didn't apologize and I'm not
happy that you never came clean with us and looked us in the eye and told us
what you did and that's it and that's that I hope everybody learned a lesson
today about life and when somebody calls you out it may bother you for a few days
but you go you know what fucking I'm gonna fucking be a man up go in there
apologize do what I got to do and that's it and that's what this whole thing was
about I want him to get that anger out of his heart I'm gonna let a candle for
you I'm gonna pray for you I want this anger out of your heart because you don't
need it you're a young man the comedy store and everything that had to do it
was a long long time ago and I know a lot of people that have a beef with that
documentary and I'm not mad at the producers or listen there was just too
many people to cover you know there was too many people to cover and you know
maybe they forgot where you were but as far as John you didn't get to be on that
and you were a major part of that store but next time learn to be a little bit
more humble and if you're watching this and you're a young comic no matter how
big and bad and famous you get learn to be humble learn to compliment but also
learn to say you're sorry you know I'm saying I learned it worked for me thank
you very much for watching another fun filled Uncle Joey's joint on a Monday
let me see if we covered everything here because I don't ever want you to
fucking say that fucking Joey didn't give us everything he had to I want to
show you something these are the Patriot shirts that came in long sleeve just in
case you're a junkie you know me I do all my shirts long sleeve because I don't
want no problems sometimes people are junkies and they like Joey what the
fuck so I don't know what I'm doing next but I will be putting these online for
sale there's some hoodies left there's some church or what's happening now
hoodies left and that's it and that's that man it's been a beautiful fucking
week it's a beautiful Monday it's a beautiful day to be alive I'm excited
to watch kind of what's gonna happen new years it's Thursday night maybe on
Thursday on Wednesday's podcast we'll have a special announcement for you on
something to do on Thursday night and besides that that's it and that's that I
love you motherfuckers with all my heart I got no club dates except the fifth and
the sixth and Uncle Vinnie's and the eighth I'm having my surgery so there's
not much and we will try to do our podcast with the fucking cast on you
know I'm not gonna leave you in a lurch because I have a little fucking
surgery going on thank you very much thank you for enjoying Uncle Joey's
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you