Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #025 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we set the record straight on a few things..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: ...JOEY Go to https://www.cbdlion.com and enter Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

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Starting point is 00:00:00 what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday December 28th Santa got hit by a car who gives a fuck it's a whole new week with a whole new set of rules and I'm coming to you from the motherfucking heart of Jersey where draft Kings is fucking home and it's all about because while the holiday season may be winding down the sports calendar is in full fucking effect it's Monday night tonight you know what they're throwing at you they're throwing the bills against the fucking Patriots at you the bills of minus seven the Patriots need this the dolphins I mean this is a fucking big game tonight all right you got a total
Starting point is 00:00:43 you got a fucking over and under you got a parlay there a nickel fucking player which 25 on the house tonight can you beat that can you make more than that washing dishes or whatever the fuck that is you do when you're IT no so get the draft Kings right now there's no better place to get it on action than draft Kings America's top rated sportsbook if you haven't tried it yet you might as well stick ten bananas up your ass what the fuck are you waiting for to celebrate this year's college football playoffs you you ready draft Kings is giving all new users the chance to bet on any semi-final team to win the
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Starting point is 00:02:10 fucking podcast starts use promo code Joey when you're signing you get 100 to one odds on any semi-final team to win this whole fucking caboot getting caboodle that's called Joey Joey Joey Joey you cocksucker for new players to get the shot at $100 on this semi-final this week it starts this week but the party starts tonight who the fuck are you kidding all right you got the fucking bills you got the Patriots Tom Brady's get this dick sucked in Brazil don't worry about none it's time for you to make some fucking money a nickel plan tonight walks out a with 2,500 you got the game you got the time you got the
Starting point is 00:02:56 total forget about it we're gonna parlay we're gonna go fucking deep deep deep but it starts with you draft Kings sportsbook app now use promo code Joey and to limit the time only at draft Kings sportsbook and this is this is the part the lawyers make me say you got to be 21 old if you're under 21 go play fucking matchsticks or something go let your fucking little brother on fire I don't give a fuck New Jersey Indiana Pennsylvania Tennessee Colorado deposit bonus requires a 25-time play through restrictions do apply see draft Kings dot com slash sportsbook for details you got a gambler a problem this is a
Starting point is 00:03:44 serious problem I can't have you lurking around draft Kings if you have a gambler problem I know a lot of people are grabbing problems they're not good so do yourself a favor knock this shit off call 1-800 gambler GAM BLER or if you're in Indiana call 1-800 nine with it but if you're saying fuck gambler fuck my wife fuck the kids fuck the car payment draft Kings sports that is for you downloaded pressing Joey and let's make some fucking cash all right the joint is also brought to you by CBD lion who the fuck are you kidding when it comes to CBD they are the best who told you that Uncle Joey did how do I know because of
Starting point is 00:04:35 my fat fuck without dryness in my knees and I go to the gym four times a week and I walk and I ride a bike and I do everything I can and what helps me get through this is CBD lion I pop in a leaf from time to time if I tighten up a little bit too much but it's CBD lion that helps him from my information my pain helps my little low with the anxiety and it comes in 18 different ways to ingest it from the fucking back ball to the strawberry raspberry tropical throat gummies to the roll on for your shoulders and your knees and your joints to the thousand milligram tinctures they got a fucking tremendous
Starting point is 00:05:14 dark chocolate you can see I've already dipped into it you gotta eat dark chocolate it's good for you anyway but they give you they got dark chocolate milk chocolate CBD and they got vapor pens listen if they got it CBD lion has it that's that's it you're not dealing with some fucking Mulan Rouge at the fucking store that don't know dick he basically got out of seventh grade and you're asking him about terpenes you dumb fuck go to CBD lion read about CBN CBD terpenes and how it affects you what products help you the most what you can get out of CBD lion it starts today the fucking new year is Thursday you're
Starting point is 00:05:57 still pandering I want to exercise but my ankle CBD line you're fucked right now pressing call Joey church whatever the fuck you want to press in big dick McGeek and get 20% off sent to your house just tell him Joey sent you all right that said no more fucking complaining I'm gonna work out but my neck I sucked a thousand dicks when I was 13 well CBD lion is here to help you all right right now CBD lion calm there read up on the third party lab results and let's fucking do this all right I want to thank CBD lion I want to thank fucking draft Kings and welcome to the mind of Joey D is waiting to get those
Starting point is 00:06:42 shirts cock suckers go fuck yourself you want to sign up for the dollar tier go hang out with them now you fuck I tried to tell you Uncle Joe was delivering the goods like Judas Priest and fucking 80 let's do this shit I love you motherfuckers what's happening you bad motherfuckers Monday the 28th December ready for another fun-filled week happy belated Christmas to you if I didn't see you happy belated Christmas to your families I hope you guys did great you know it was what it was I had a great time I really did man LA Christmas and LA you know everybody the last day of civilization and LA is usually that Friday before Christmas so
Starting point is 00:08:10 this year would have been the 18th the day of my original surgery and it's so funny that you know people have a half-day and right from the fucking office they go right to the airport they disappear and all Christmas spirit disappears in my life you know like there's no Christmas spirit there's nothing yeah there's some kids nobody sings in front of your house nobody does nothing now the development type of guy that sang in front of houses get the fuck out of here I'm singing in front of a house I never wanted none of that but when you have a family you know things change and you're looking for different
Starting point is 00:08:48 things this is one of the best Christmas I had in years I mean it really did what is it we're here Monday the 28th Christmas basically started on Wednesday for us it started a Friday before you know people had little outdoor gatherings with eaters and hot cocoa and fucking cakes and shit like that God knows what I way I did to take good care of myself there was four places I went in a day four parties they had pizza and I didn't eat a slice at all four of them so how's that if you had one slice of pizza this week so I'm trying you know I'm saying you gotta you gotta fucking if not this place will kill you you know
Starting point is 00:09:33 many fucking people knocked on this door to give us cookies and shit like that Italian plate because half the neighborhood some Staten Island the best the best so they knocked on the door with cookies and stuff every night look at it was just it was everything I wanted to be it was everything I wanted for my daughter to be it was everything I wanted for my wife to see I knew that there was life outside LA and I'm fucking a static that it all went down we went out for Christmas night we went to a friend's very low-key they sang Christmas songs I think we were home by 9 30 10 got fucked up drank a bottle of
Starting point is 00:10:19 coquito last week some Cuban eggnog you know you gotta do what you gotta do but I'm back I'm back on the fucking program now I worked out four days a week so it was no big deal I still lifted yesterday Saturday and I just left there this morning so we're back we're ready to roll in the car for the beginning of the year that's it as far as I'm concerned 2020 is behind me 2021 is the major concern we got the movie coming out we got stand-up coming back you know whether it comes back with a vaccine or not I'll be back doing outdoor gigs in April like a motherfucker I've got uncle Vinnie's the fifth and the sixth and I
Starting point is 00:11:04 got the surgery on the 8th say 10 20 days after that I'm back on stage working new material and we're going after it with or without the COVID I'm going on stage with COVID I put like a fucking stick man giving COVID and we'll go on stage together like a two-man team what are you gonna do what are you gonna do you're gonna stay in your house and hide because of fucking COVID another year you can't do it I understand the people who gonna be working from home or not but there's ways to tighten up your game you already did in nine months of it it's getting old so maybe set up a schedule do an hour get up go for a walk and do
Starting point is 00:11:44 another hour get up call you make some calls you know now well now you're getting better at it don't expect that now corporations and businesses aren't seeing this and saying you know what we go from a fucking eight thousand a month nut to two thousand a month and just give assignments out the world's gonna change the job market's gonna change everything is gonna change which is good we would do for a fucking change things are getting a little fucking boring with the fucking the same shit all the time you know and it's good to people who were burnt out doing old jobs and now doing new fucking jobs you
Starting point is 00:12:24 know I was burnt out on fucking stand-up I'm very happy now I gotta go down there once a week and do it do you think I want to go back to two shows a week every other week with a fucking theater and planes and shit I'm not ready for that right now I feel funny again I feel happy again my family's good Mike's good we're running smooth smoked and fucking tremendous reefer the patreon's going great so I got no regrets I did my time and I'm ready to go we got a subject to talk about this week which was very interesting how it fell on my lap and I wrestled with it for a few days before I wanted to bring it to
Starting point is 00:13:05 podcast because I'm not here to cause any problems I'm just telling you how what evolution of a bad situation came out and basically he was the first comic that got canceled throughout this whole thing and he basically canceled himself you know last week we were talking about Tom Cruise how he went off on his job you know people didn't like it and some people criticize him a motherfucker likes me a motherfucker like me who is a fan of Tom Cruise whatever his religious preferences I don't give a fucking piece of Scientologist what are you gonna do with the guys waiting for Martians that's his business that's what
Starting point is 00:13:51 he does on Sundays you know I'm saying who gives a fuck you know what I do on Sundays I go to church and try to not get hypnotized by the fucking pedophile smoke you sit there and you hold on to your bread so everybody's got their own trials and tribulations on a Sunday you know I'm saying you know he went off about COVID the movie and you know social distancing and some people took offense to it and I loved it because most people did take offense to it especially the people in LA especially the five people that quit that job now I'm not saying that you you know I have stuck up for myself in those
Starting point is 00:14:34 situations I have stuck up to myself when I've been right and a director or producer has been wrong and yelled at me I could tell you if you look at my IMDB Joey Diaz I've been on a thousand fucking projects and I think I may in fact let's just sum it up to three where I had problems on a project let's just sum it up to three you know the one commercial I did for our bees where the director was just being an asshole American gun I think that I was being an asshole and so were they and I got the brunt of it that's what happens shit falls downhill and the longest yard I was a shit towards the end you know
Starting point is 00:15:31 baseball I robbed them blind from their fucking roller skates fuck them they're still on TV South Park they got they got more roller skates in the roller skate company so I'm not worried about them but pretty much you know with comedy and stuff I was always trying to be a gentleman I always tried to encourage other people you know I see somebody on stage doing a great joke bro I'll go up to them afterwards and say hey man that made me laugh you know whatever I'm not gonna go up to you and tell you a bad joke it's a good joke I'm not fake that's not what I do either I'm not gonna sit in the back and go haha
Starting point is 00:16:11 you know those fake comic laughs to let you know that I laugh if it's fucking funny but there's people who get insulted if you say things to them they take it the wrong fucking way and I've apologized to people because people have said I you kind of said the wrong way no I said it the right way you used to get the wrong way because you're a fucking pussy and you don't want to fucking accept it and you don't want to you know somebody to call you the fuck out well for me to tell you the story I tell you the story in the beginning and in chunks and we're gonna take it from there I got a call about 10 days ago
Starting point is 00:16:52 from a friend of mine and he was saying that John Capurulo had just worked the club you know about a month earlier three walks months earlier and he was bitching and complaining and saying negative shit about the store fuck all of the skies and it's gonna be a parking lot anyway that they're gonna knock it down and you know I feel bad from when I heard there was more stuff but who gives a fuck when I heard the stuff he said I took a minute I hung up the phone and I gotta be honest I didn't feel good about what had happened because what Capurulo is really mad about was that he wasn't putting a documentary and he
Starting point is 00:17:43 wasn't considered a piece of the church family and I'm here to tell you and this is nobody's fault and I'm not blaming anybody or anything Capurulo should have been in it but because his behavior he wasn't putting so let's start on what he did why he shouldn't be in there and how this all went down I knew Capurulo since day one he was a sweetheart of a kid very quiet very introverted one day like everybody else at that comedy store from Hazel's trail the common moralists to all the people after a while you start to see him the girl that made the Saturday Night Live you start to see them and
Starting point is 00:18:34 after three six nine months they start to get a little confidence they've been around comics they've they've gotten to go up on stage a few times you know it's it's it's an easier place one night you walk him and you'll see him on stage hosting and you're like fuck and Capurulo was a funny fucking guy you know he was younger than me he was there with Bobby Lee and all those guys I gotta tell you they were having a great time and because they were having a great time they were making me have a great time and I still remember one night Capurulo was a doorman and he asked me for advice he asked me about how you get
Starting point is 00:19:19 more spots and Duncan Trussell was the talent coordinated and Duncan was walking through the building I called them over I go Duncan come here for a second talk to John he wants to know how to get more spots and well like I don't know if you know this you gotta pay for your spots and he's like what do you gotta pay him like $15 that's that's absurd that's exactly what I get what are you gonna do John you gotta pay you want three spots it's 45 hours a week I'm here to collect every Friday for Duncan and me and Duncan are laughing he's like that's absurd and we're like we're fucking with you John I mean that's how
Starting point is 00:19:57 long we know John okay sweetheart of a kid never had a problem knew him when he was dating girls still a great guy and then what happens when you stick with something success finally happens and he started getting a little successful you know he started I think he went to Montreal and he got watched up there and you know from being at the store his his act was fucking tremendous and he got a deal from Fox and I still remember him coming in and saying that Fox gave a box of shirts t-shirts because you know John used to wear white t-shirts and stuff all the time and listen at that time was 2000 something I had already learned as
Starting point is 00:20:55 a comic and as a human being that you couldn't be jealous you have to be happy for the people in your circle especially at the store because when one person moves up the notch that means you're gonna move the notch so I was happy from but I know there's something else over the following couple weeks John Capron's head started to get big little things how he parked the car he quit his doorman job he was walking around you know saying little things he was still a happy-go-lucky John but you could see that the deal had changed a little bit it didn't affect me I still loved him for everything that he was he
Starting point is 00:21:39 was funny as fuck you know and this went on for a while you know it was great and Bob and John and all of us and John's getting deals and then he did something for Comedy Central and I saw him one day and it was a different side of John he was very upset his face was red and he was mad because he wanted to give the check back to Comedy Central he didn't think the special was good enough and that's the first time I noticed that there might be a problem with this guy I'm like he's back here cursing you know you got a guy like me that can't get a fucking special I'm so bad and he's got a special he's back here
Starting point is 00:22:22 yelling and screaming how he wants to give the money back and blah blah blah blah in the meantime Rogan's catching momentum Rogan's a powerhouse and fear factor you know you can't deny it that he's bringing in most of the people on Fridays and Saturday nights into the club well that's you know gets a little couple people pissed off not to mention they would give him a half hour since so many people coming in to see him they would give him from 11 to 11 30 they would put me up from a quarter to 11 to 11 and Harry from 10 30 to a quarter to 11 so we basically jacked the fucking original room lineup from whatever per
Starting point is 00:23:12 Rogan Rogan was like you're going in front of me Harry goes in front of him everybody else has to suck your dick that's great but when you do that again you create tensions and people there was little whisperings they wouldn't say it to me they know better to say it to me but there was little whisperings you know you heard little whisperings going around at that time I was deep into my addiction so I didn't really give a fuck you to suck my dick anyway so this one on and then again you're gonna have to fact check me on dates on this Maxim did the men of comedy tour with Charlie Murphy and Joe Rogan and John
Starting point is 00:24:01 Heffron and while they were on the road I would still call in for spots down to the store this has to be 2006 guys the beginning of 2007 maybe 2005 maybe no 2006 2007 because I was still doing coke I'm up there one night I'm about ready to go up I'm not going up at no 1045 Joe wasn't there to take care of me I was at like an 1130 spot maybe 1145 and John and Tommy come up to me and though I came in and John had a hat on he had like his chest out okay I'm not listen I was deep into the addiction I was deep into it was going on in my world my world was getting really dark and you know something had to be done eventually
Starting point is 00:25:01 and I looked at these two guys and they're like when your daddy comes back things are gonna change and I'm like whoa whoa what are you talking about guys and they're like when Joe Rogan comes back it's not gonna be how it is and I go listen I don't even know what you're telling me this for what the fuck you're telling me this for tell him what are you telling me this shit for and they said a bunch of other shit I did my spot I went home and it wasn't till I got home like those guys just did a declaration of fucking war I mean like I didn't pick it up at the time you ever you ever get into an argument or
Starting point is 00:25:44 something and you don't really know what happened till after it happened you get in the car and you drive away that's why I felt I was like they just declared war I mean they didn't even know if I hadn't had three bumps in me already and I was in a scared junkie I'm only probably gone down there fight them both but I said you know what I'll give them breathing who the fuck am I I don't I don't give a fuck about this shit so that's exactly what I did I didn't say nothing about it I avoided John you know I always make mental notes he got away with this one the next one I'll fucking say something and Tommy he
Starting point is 00:26:24 could suck my dick through so time goes on you know maybe a month two months go on I get a call it's Tommy and he's telling me that fucking Carlos Mancey is coming in there and bumping people and he doesn't feel that Carlos should be bumping people I tell him listen the last time I checked when you're a fucking you have your own TV show you can bump whatever the fuck you want to bump so bump your way off this phone call go fuck yourself what he was trying to do is plant the seed to me to call Rogan to get Rogan on fire up that that wasn't happening he wanted he was trying to tell me that Capurulo was funnier than
Starting point is 00:27:11 Carlos and that Carlos shouldn't be go be allowed to go in there and fucking do his thing and I was totally against it I was like no you've been bumping all along you got the wrong fucking guy so at that time I was getting the fat lump or move from my neck I had my own dilemmas going and sure enough one night I hear Rogan gets thrown out of there and you know Rogan gets into with Mike Feynman I look at the video and then Rogan people were sticking up the Joe and they said that they had to go to the store on Friday night to do like a protest and people didn't go down there and I thought for me that was the end
Starting point is 00:28:06 of my career in my days at the comedy store I had a back Joe for years people bother Joe about Carlos Mancia and that he's a joke thief finally Joe sticks up and these comics folded like a bunch of fucking folding chairs you know and I saw that and I and for years I thought I was part of something I thought I was part of sons anarchy I thought I was part of Hell's Angels I thought I was part of the mafia I thought I was part of something I wasn't even part of the boys club of America those motherfuckers you know the Boy Scouts of America that showed me comedy really had nothing as a brotherhood they have certain clicks
Starting point is 00:28:51 yes but as a brotherhood we do that night nobody stuck up for Joe so I knew what path now now you know what this means you got to get two guns you just can't have the gun in your holster you got to get one in your side piece now because now we see how this game is played this game is not played by awful one one for all this game is played of all you guys want to do that like when you saw the document the the store documentary Jay Leno crossed the line there's always one comic that's gonna do what he wants to do because desperation is a motherfucker in this world I'm not saying Jay was desperate
Starting point is 00:29:37 but you know a spot's a spot's a spot people will do anything for a spot they'll sell their mother for a spot yes they will suck your dick for a spot an LA yes they will so you know I just stopped going down there and I focused my energies on the thing you know Greg Garcia gave me a recurring role on my name is Earl I had some other stuff going on but I still kept in touch with a handful of people from the store and every time again I'm lying to you if I said every time but every let's say every five conversations I had with somebody from the store John Capurulo's name popped up like I said I had no
Starting point is 00:30:26 hatred for him I liked him I thought he was a funny comic I respect them I was a little off kilter with him from his remarks that night and but now I was starting to lose respect from the things I was hearing he was telling comics to their faces that he sucked he was telling comics that they couldn't go up to after him he had Tommy in his back pocket and they were you know just doing shitty things together with the other comics and not the comics from the improv or the laugh factory or the haha or fucking you know comics from other sectors if you want to go to war that way I get that as a goof but you were
Starting point is 00:31:21 doing it to comics in the comic store we all work together we were all made by Mitchie Shaw it was a commune it was a compound it was all these beautiful fucking things and yeah I'm not here to fucking tell you I was Johnny perfect I was in there snorting coke and getting my dick sucked and eating assholes and doing drugs you know I was doing my thing too but at the same time I wasn't up there putting down comics or torturing them or telling people who could go up or who can't go up or you know whatever yeah I ran the fucking open mic on Sunday nights and Mitchie Shaw you know comics would sign their
Starting point is 00:32:02 names up that were fucking not she what she didn't like them so they'd be there all day sign their name and when I give it a list you go get them out of here get them out again the people thought it was me it's not me it's Mitchie I would never throw anybody this is an art you do what you do but throughout this fucking I stayed out of the store from 2000 maybe seven to 2013 and I got to tell you that every month I heard something else about this capital rule guy saying this doing this him and Tommy doing this Tommy telling girls they weren't funny I was just hearing about this this new place that I wasn't a part
Starting point is 00:33:00 of it was an ego place at the time Crystal Lee it was developing there you know I don't I think capital rule I had a problem with him but you know things had happened that on the Wild West tour it was capital rule and Brett Ernest and Sebastian and I met I met I think I'm not sure don't quote me on this and there was a problem there you know he was having a problem with Bobby Lee John capital rule was having a problem with Rick Ingram John capital rule was just becoming a problem at the store and I had I had no dog in the fight it had nothing to do with me so I stayed out of it I get a call one day
Starting point is 00:33:54 that they called Tom they caught Tommy with his hands in the cookie jar you know I was blown away because I always thought he was a trust-run kid and for him to be stealing hundred dollar bills and again I'm a thief I'm not gonna judge him I'm just telling you the facts just in case everybody anybody wants to come back and going on other the facts they hired a guy to go in there were hundreds they put the hundreds and they went they looked back the hundreds of gun Tommy was behind the register they fired him he took the fucking firing he saw on some island playing fucking what's like fucking dude's name he's yeah he's
Starting point is 00:34:38 singing Jimmy Buffett songs at a fucking bar right now wasted away and can Marie Margarita Margarita now this leaves John Caparulo I get the call to go down there I go down there when I got the call to go back to the store in 2014 I said this is the chance to redeem myself for all the shit I had done down there before I had met Terry you know I was on a complete tear I was on a complete tears as an addict you know I was drinking I was I was a comic man I was just being a young stupid fucking comic that's it and everything that goes down with it and whatever was going on down there was going on down there you know
Starting point is 00:35:33 you guys have heard 20 stories and you have no idea what was going on down there so for you to sit there and judge well for any of these girls today these comics today to sit there and judge about what was going on 20 years ago they have no fucking idea so they could all shut that mouth and go fuck themselves 97 98 2000 was a way different time at the economy story than what it was today so I get the call to go back in 2013 again I don't expect nothing I don't make no demands nothing I'm very happy doing comedy living the way I'm living I got a chance to go back to the store you know I go back down there fucking great
Starting point is 00:36:23 night Tuesday night no problem I went down there like a Thursday I was going down there for about a month my return to the economy store was in August I remember because I had a colonoscopy like August something and Lee drove me down to the thing and then that week I started going to the store I was at the store maybe two months before I even saw caparulla my concerns were not caparulla my concerns were personally myself going back down there after about two months of me going down there I noticed that Joe Rogan started going down there and the boys were back down there I was trying to go back down there
Starting point is 00:37:07 and all this shit okay I like I said I'm I got a daughter I I got a wife I got a podcast I got a career on the road I'm not even thinking about John caparulla and one night I pull up down there and I hear arguing and I see all this fucking arguing and it's supposedly John caparulla had moved farther away from the comedy store and he got caught in traffic and he couldn't make his spot so on the way down they had to find other comedians to fill his spots and the only comic that was there was Joe Rogan well John caparulla doesn't like firing fire he doesn't like going up behind good comics he wants to be the best comic in
Starting point is 00:38:11 the room he wants it he does not want to fire follow heat at all by no means at no fucking expense he is not as it is a fucking thing so he's calling them the the front girl that I could get on the podcast and tell you the story and just tell them now don't let them put Rogan on anybody else but Rogan anybody else but Rogan don't let them put Rogan on I guess they put Rogan on he came in and he either left or through a fit I think one time he left that they had put somebody else up and one time he threw a fit I know about the fit for sure I could fucking you could fact check me on the fit for sure whether he left or not
Starting point is 00:39:04 is something different but I think I could come down to the fact that he did leave one night because he didn't follow what they don't want to follow he well right away I'm like look at this motherfucker already starting fucking problems so I think after the Rogan thing cuz the the Rogan thing happened and he got really upset and then after he'd think the night he left he just stopped going to the store so I went back to the store in August wrote Rogan went back in October and Capurulo probably stopped coming in November so that December 31st as we usually did every year I did the recap of the year
Starting point is 00:39:51 with Rogan on the JRE podcast and he goes man it's good to see you you killed last night I mean everybody was killing we're having a great time I mean it was it was way different than I remember the 98 97 you know we were doing well as comics nobody was on the tonight show or not then nobody had Netflix specials but it was great to see people from the bottom of your heart you were up there cheering for Ari I was cheering for Duncan I was cheering for Bird I was cheering for Tom I was cheering for Rick Ingram you know you were cheering for the people in front of your Whitney Cummings Eliza Slashinger I'm up there
Starting point is 00:40:36 fucking dying a laughter and you know and then you got this fucking sleeping pill just fucking capurulo guy who walks in you know tell this guy and then fucking leaves you got Sebastian you got Bobby Lee you got all this love and all this positivity and then you got this walking fucking hemorrhoid that will go up there and you can see he was hot so he stopped coming up there so we're sitting in the Rogan studios and Rogan's like man we've been having a great time lately at the store I wonder what the fuck it is do you have any idea go yeah Tommy and that fucking cunt capurulo a gun that's that's the truth
Starting point is 00:41:19 that's the dog it was the honest to God fucking truth you know two days later my Twitter handle is blowing the fuck up with capurulo hate fuck you and you know I'm young I'm a little you know not young but I'm buck wild I go at him fuck you fuck that we start going back and forth I'm reading a book on Roberto Durant at the time and when Roberto Durant fought Sugar Ray Leonard they were up in Toronto for the first fight and Sugar Ray Leonard went to introduce his wife to Roberto Durant he goes honey look who it is Roberto let's go home and say hello to him so they walked over and said hello to bro Durant
Starting point is 00:42:09 Roberto Durant took a look at him and goes I can't wait the fucker in the ass fucking Sugar Ray cracked he cracked so hard he ended up losing the fucking fight I mean that's the psychological warfare of it so when he was going at me I was going at him psychologically John I'm gonna fuck your wife in the ass I'm saying all this shit on Twitter because I'm just a fucking animal I never met his wife I heard she's a beautiful person and I should have been saying those things but it's all fair and love and war and we're comedy store comics and you've been a real fucking scumbag the comics for the last seven years and it's
Starting point is 00:42:46 ending fucking right now it's ending they're like it was ending so I just fucking went off fuck you we threatened each other he's gonna fucking do this to me I'm gonna do that to him so listen let's just eliminate the whole fucking thing come on down to the store tonight bitch I'll be that eight o'clock and I get down to the store and some people are hearing about it some people got their eyes open and sure enough he pulls up with his E28 and he gets out and he walks right towards me you know and he fucking stepped up I don't know and his face was all red and stuff and before I could let him get set you know me dog
Starting point is 00:43:26 I'm Hudson County straight up straight up New York City straight up Hudson County something's coming from somewhere I already got a brick that's loose but all I gotta do is clap and the vibration will loosen it and they'll hit you in the fucking head I'm one of those guys so as he went to turn right into me like yeah before I could catch him and he could catch the leverage instead of leg kicking him I did the second best thing the leg kick a spit to the face a spit to the face is very tremendous because he didn't even hear it coming it was already sitting in the gargoyles of my fucking throat and I got him half in
Starting point is 00:44:06 his mouth and half in his face and he started going like this it was the funniest thing you ever seen because when he landed as his head landed it was perfect it just went to and he's like and he went back and he's like how dare you you know his his ego was so fucking big and he went to throw a punch at me and thank God there was a an open mic comic there is sweeter another guy who's mad at me and I'm mad I'm not mad at him anymore things got out of hand that desperation you know everybody thinks that somebody could change your life and and and hollywood they really can't you have to do the work yourself but this
Starting point is 00:44:46 poor nice sweetheart of an open mic before fucking John Capurillo could turn he catches John Capurillo with a punch to the fucking head you couldn't ruin this fucking thing and nobody said anything time just stopped Capurillo looked around he ran into the main room and I guess he had a follow Marin and Marin was up on stage and Marin said he brought him up and he was bringing him up he kept wiping his eyes like what happened and he's like I'm not gonna believe what happened so Marin waited for him and he got off he told Marin that I spit in his face and blah blah blah and you know and then he went home and
Starting point is 00:45:34 we went back and forth to add it again and I just fucking told him I said listen man your best bet is not to come down there you know you did a lot of bad shit to a lot of good comics you had a lot of good comics feelings and one thing about me I take one thing really fucking serious I take when people fuck with people's dreams when people fuck with people's dreams you're a certain type of fucking animal so he was fucking with people's dreams man he told a lot of things a lot of bad people he told a lot of good people some bad things he judged them he judged their comedy he judged their jokes there's a couple of
Starting point is 00:46:23 motherfuckers at the store that didn't want them following you like oh I'm not gonna follow you there was a particular motherfucker he knows what a fuck it is creators of shows and shit he'd be calling Adam don't let I don't want to follow Joey and then he would come up to me before my shows and say like to try to piss on my leg like oh are you gonna go rogue tonight or are you gonna be organized and I would tell him I'm gonna fucking do what I do bitch but if you want to you could sit down with me and teach me how to write comedy because you could write all the comedy you want you'll never be as funny as I won't
Starting point is 00:47:03 writing jokes and being funny it's two different fucking things so you could sit there and write all the Netflix specials you want that don't mean you're fucking funny I could read the yellow pages blindfolded and fucking make you fucking die a laughter so I don't even know where we were at you know John took a breather he started going to the comedy magic club Adam from the store told him to take a breather you know right away he went at Rogan he went at me he went out a bunch of us saying that this is a conspiracy to get him out no it was everybody wanted him out nobody wanted him there he had made that place a
Starting point is 00:47:51 living fucking hell and he knew it he started going down to the orange whatever the comedy magic club fucked them too and he got thrown they hit him with a fucking glass they threw a glass on some Trump hater or Trump later Trump supported through a glass Adam and you know he must I saw that and I felt bad I wasn't happy about that like he's getting beat up outside but then he did the ultimate sin he did two things that cost him everything one he put out a podcast after he got hit about you know he ran with the bullying and the whole thing and nobody bullied him when him and Tommy were having a good time
Starting point is 00:48:38 bullying people you know everybody was jumping up and down now when it when the tables turned he didn't like it he put out this whole podcast about getting bullied and blah blah blah guess what everybody talked to each other nobody said a word the podcast disappeared he fizzled into the night and then Mitchie Shaw died they checked around they called him the town coordinator some of the managers said you know what he did his time here he was a real man call him up he was here during Mitzi I agreed Capurillo should be here everybody they invited him to go down there he went down there he picked three fucking fights
Starting point is 00:49:30 he started three fights he started three arguments with three different comics Ari Steve Run is easy and Bobby Lee so they gave him another chance and he went down and he was a jerk off again you know he was a Joe jerk off again so you know when this club owner told me that he was disgruntled that he was saying the club was over anyway you know a 20 year ago Joe Diaz would have been very happy with us and fuck him no I feel really bad for how this ended for John that's why I wanted to tell this story you know I can't imagine him and his wife watching that documentary and not seeing even three minutes of John but
Starting point is 00:50:17 hey there were a lot of other people that deserved to be in that documentary that weren't in that documentary then my heart goes out to them but John no I'm sorry you didn't get put in the documentary and you didn't deserve to get put in the documentary for what you did you went against the people that Mitchie Shaw was trying to rise up that's what you did you went against us and you know what my police record is gonna live forever that I fucking got arrested and I did time burglary whatever the fuck I did that documentary from Showtime is gonna be up for fucking ever and I wasn't one of the stars
Starting point is 00:51:04 of that fucking documentary but I was in it and that that means I'm gonna be in there forever and the sad thing about this is because of your fucking ego because of your fucking ego and your inability to work as a team and to be a part of a family listen I don't know I'm not part of no clubs I'm not part of no affiliations you know I'm not with the rampers I'm not with a fucking biker gang or whatever I'm a human being and I treated people like a human being yeah at times I fucked up I made a guy get in the trunk with a machine gun I wasn't all derried that wasn't all the perfect fucking thing but when I got to that
Starting point is 00:51:49 comedy store my first tenure there I was just a wild comic I didn't know what I was doing but when I went back there as my second tenure I went back as a mature adult comic and I had a lead by example and that's what I tried to do and I tried to be a gentleman to the younger fucking comics and that's what you didn't do you were a scumbag thumb and that's why now you're gonna be miserable the rest of your life over not being on this documentary and being treated like that from the people from the store I feel bad for you and I pray for you and I light a candle for you that your life changes and that your
Starting point is 00:52:29 anger from this situation goes away because it's really gonna alter your comedy and right now what you have to worry about is the mileage you have to feed your house payment and your wife and your kid your beautiful wife your beautiful child and your beautiful family John Caparulo I had nothing against you what I had against you was your ego and your inability to fucking apologize to be a fucking man and say yeah I did it who cares nobody would care in a year you have been back at the store you've been rocking and rolling and you would have been one of us family again you chose to be angry walk
Starting point is 00:53:12 around with a red face and go to the comedy fucking magic club and do magic tricks with those fucking humps so if you're upset if I upset you in any way I wasn't born to upset you what to cancel you all I wanted to do was to call you out for what you had been doing to some of the comics at the store and the attitude you came up to me up with with that night which you and Tommy I should have taken his boat and lit his boat on fucking fire but I was too fucked up on my cocaine and with all my problems and what everything else but today I'm the man I want to be you know I'm very happy with who I am I'm very happy that I
Starting point is 00:53:53 did my tenure at the store I'm happy I did my tenure on the documentary and I'm not happy that you're not on it I wish you would have been on it you deserve to be on it what I'm not happy with is that you didn't apologize and I'm not happy that you never came clean with us and looked us in the eye and told us what you did and that's it and that's that I hope everybody learned a lesson today about life and when somebody calls you out it may bother you for a few days but you go you know what fucking I'm gonna fucking be a man up go in there apologize do what I got to do and that's it and that's what this whole thing was
Starting point is 00:54:38 about I want him to get that anger out of his heart I'm gonna let a candle for you I'm gonna pray for you I want this anger out of your heart because you don't need it you're a young man the comedy store and everything that had to do it was a long long time ago and I know a lot of people that have a beef with that documentary and I'm not mad at the producers or listen there was just too many people to cover you know there was too many people to cover and you know maybe they forgot where you were but as far as John you didn't get to be on that and you were a major part of that store but next time learn to be a little bit
Starting point is 00:55:21 more humble and if you're watching this and you're a young comic no matter how big and bad and famous you get learn to be humble learn to compliment but also learn to say you're sorry you know I'm saying I learned it worked for me thank you very much for watching another fun filled Uncle Joey's joint on a Monday let me see if we covered everything here because I don't ever want you to fucking say that fucking Joey didn't give us everything he had to I want to show you something these are the Patriot shirts that came in long sleeve just in case you're a junkie you know me I do all my shirts long sleeve because I don't
Starting point is 00:56:12 want no problems sometimes people are junkies and they like Joey what the fuck so I don't know what I'm doing next but I will be putting these online for sale there's some hoodies left there's some church or what's happening now hoodies left and that's it and that's that man it's been a beautiful fucking week it's a beautiful Monday it's a beautiful day to be alive I'm excited to watch kind of what's gonna happen new years it's Thursday night maybe on Thursday on Wednesday's podcast we'll have a special announcement for you on something to do on Thursday night and besides that that's it and that's that I
Starting point is 00:56:57 love you motherfuckers with all my heart I got no club dates except the fifth and the sixth and Uncle Vinnie's and the eighth I'm having my surgery so there's not much and we will try to do our podcast with the fucking cast on you know I'm not gonna leave you in a lurch because I have a little fucking surgery going on thank you very much thank you for enjoying Uncle Joey's joint and now for a word for my motherfucking sponsor all right I want to thank you guys for listening on a beautiful Monday it's a whole new week Christmas is done I'm sorry you know you guys gonna take down your trees now
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Starting point is 00:59:45 fucking bullshit you got some fucking cards from Kmart and Walmart your grandmother worked hard I know somebody gave you a saving bond fuck that who gives the fuck it's gonna be worth a thousand ten years you don't need that money then you need it now cocksucker go to the post office cash it in and let's get Draft Kings on the phone fucking listen bills against the Patriots tonight what are you fucking getting me or what the bills of mine is fucking seven this is the way to fucking do it and it starts tonight download the top rated draft King sports book app now use promo code Joey when you sign up to get
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