Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 03/03/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #60

Episode Date: March 4, 2013

Juliana from Auntie Dolores calls back to the podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount. Sttreamed live on 03/03/2013

This podcast brought to you by on it bitches go to on it see what they got Put church in the box me a little discount coming your way I get a common issue for fun For a green card. I got a car in my real life I get a common issue for fun For a green card Oh shit, oh shit the church to what's happened now Sunday night Special edition you stream the flying you hit it. Huh wiggle dog

Fucking let's do this Sunday night. Oh Shit, oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Go Lee we go fuck with y'all. Give me a little crab. Give me a little crab What's a crab? Oh, you like this with your mother? Oh shit Lee motherfucking sciat Sunday night 12 midnight on the east coast nine Pacific you fucking savages Oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit The fuck's going on Lee sciat. What's happening? You played scarface with me. I like it for a fucking green car He's gonna carve you up real nice. See how lucky you fucking motherfuckers got green cards You're walking around some fucking crazy Cuban and seven hours about to chop somebody up for a fucking green card

So get out there. I mean it's late now. You got nowhere to fucking go unless you go mug somebody homeless and shit like that Oh, it's not bad. You ever take a home as fucking dude. No, I'm just telling but you know, yeah What the fuck I rolled the guy one like it had to be maybe freshman year I went out one night did some TAC crystal like aintel dust. Yeah with three other savages There's some guy asleep on the street and Kennedy Boulevard We started we went into his pockets and we was half it and we just started pulling them and dragging them down the fucking street It's horrible. I think all those terrible times. It was right in front of the board education

In North Bergen that that board education one time I was with this kid Joe Lucci did about two hits of fucking acid and we're walking on Kennedy Boulevard And he said hold on one second And he threw his hand through the glass at the board education and he got like 18 fucking stitches in his arm I started running so I wouldn't faint Me I don't need that aggravation. I faint when I'm not fucking, you know, but I'm not high You imagine when I'm high I fainted on my birthday before that. I've been good with fucking needles lately Yeah, but she had the ear infection last two times

I went the acupuncture this last week but the week before she needled around my ear Jesus fucking Christ and I take it like a man. The problem is when I'm high and you get the needle inside you that pain Escalates a little bit and it takes your mind away and that's what makes me faint So for the people who want to know what's up, you cock sucker Sunday night up I know you gotta get up and go to bed tomorrow and get up and go to work I'm gonna fuck it you start the week off a little fucking headache and that's it You go to work at least hang out with Uncle Joey on the Lord's Day late night. What's up with you? Not much I'm feeling I'm feeling good. I'm having in the middle of a rough work week

But other than that I worked out for the first time today, so I feel good I heard you walked from here to Mike's Jersey and got a sandwich and walked home. Is that oh Jersey Mike's I think I haven't seen I haven't been there, but no I walked a mile and a half on my lunch break and did you really yeah fucking you get new sneakers I did um come on. I did I got a parent new balance Look at you. What'd you drop from? Oh? Wait wise no much. Oh, I like 70 bucks. Did you go to one of the Marshall fuck that I do online I don't leave the house did you look at you go to Amazon.com. Did you click the fucking band of cock sucker? I didn't I didn't talk about people you don't even click the fuck how'd you get a new balance calm?

All right, I'm just they were they were cheaper than I want the new balance calm I like what they got went to Adidas calm. I like what they have didn't have a lot of They got a lot of two X stuff Adidas calm. I wasn't shocked Adidas has good shit, you know, I found these at that footlock of two X's. Yeah, that's not too fucking bad I have wide feet. So I have trouble going to the stores. So but they have them online New balance has everything. Yeah, I learned I used to buy new balance. I got a Hollywood shoes like those shoot shitty shoes outlet Yeah, they got a bunch of the 660s or whatever the fuck number it is And then somebody filled me in about a moment to Columbus

I gave the shout out to the guy last week that the salesman that sent me the card and all that stuff Yeah, so no, I'm happy my new I do the Dolce run on the treadmill with the with my new new balances the 990s and I fucking love I got no lower back pain. So, you know, if you look on the run Again, I ain't no fucking runner. All right, so I don't know nothing about fucking sneakers I just know my feet don't hurt. Yeah, that's the most important thing, you know, I went to see a friend's Kickboxing class the other day. Okay, we're gonna meet. He had a script idea or something for a script But you know web series, okay, it's very funny. Very fucking funny once I play garbage man like an acid type show You know, they pay he's got a financing. Nice. He just has to try to go through YouTube. I guess YouTube is doing original program

Oh, yeah, yeah So we went to meet over there and it was funny because I got there early and I got to watch a fill-in teacher Because the school was fighting somewhere like competing. Mm-hmm. So this is a fill-in teacher for the three o'clock class and I'm no fucking Joe Rogan. I'm no, you know, the other guy But I could tell a beginner and kickboxing a beginner in a certain martial art by the way He punches we kicks are we twist his legs or you know, he puts his hip into it and sure enough They asked, you know, who were the beginners and it was four beginners and one guy that was experienced

well, I'm watching this guy making these guys crawl on the floor and Like run and get up and do burpees and I'm seeing people hold on to their back And I'm looking at these people that you give your life to they they tell you their personal trainer And you go see them for three days and they're on this Nazi fucking Exercise workout that they read about, you know, they don't even think about that. You're 35 They don't even think about that. You've had knee surgery. They don't even fucking ask No, they just proceed to make you go on the floor and do fucking alligators and spinning back kicks And I'm sitting there watching this guy and the guy is a good fighter and he's very interesting

But he never you know as a personal trainer you'd go to see this guy two times and you'd go home because you got you know Like I told you with the strong bone the thing I liked the most about the strong bone was when you first start working out of it Whether you jump rope or whatever the fuck your feet hurt your bones in your feet hurt You're supporting three four fucking hundred pounds 250 whatever the fuck it is your feet hurt And if you feed her you're not gonna do nothing and that's the whole thing The biggest thing or at least for me is especially when you're first starting is you're looking for any excuse to quit Honestly, you really are so so if you go if you bring that up

If you go to a class and the fucking assholes treating you like you're in the advanced class and you're training for an MMA fight You're like fuck this. I'm gonna go home and have a burger and be happy. It's amazing. How are when I was trying to quit coke I was always looking for an excuse and I wouldn't say no But it's just a person excuse like holy fuck. I gotta hang now. I can't tell you how many times I was said I was gonna start a diet and then I Had fucking like they had Like everyone at work was going out for burgers. I'm like, oh well the today is ruined So I can't have I have good meals for the rest of the day

I'll just have a bad food for dinner and then I'll start tomorrow and then I'll be like, oh well the week's ruined So I'll go I'll start next week Eight thousand times. No, we all do it's just not dealing with what's in front of you. That's all that is Listen, the fucking country is not I was listening to some speech by the president's wife online or something about one of every kids Is a little fat fuck And you sit there and go how does a kid become a fat fuck. Yeah, I didn't become a fat fuck So I was about nine once I got out of Catholic school for a while there because in Catholic school You were moderated you didn't play you know saying I didn't know from from from second grade to fifth grade

I played in the fucking schoolyard every day. We crossed the street with that ice cream like once or twice a week But it's like when you're home when you're ten I was a fucking wild man. Do you got a Chinese restaurant down the corner once I got thrown out of the Catholic school? I went back to Jersey. I Gained weight, but then when I became 13, I you know once you start working on jerking off and liking girls You I kept it off till I was I mean there's a picture that girl Stan. Hope as remember I was 37 when I moved here when I moved here. I was 225 pounds really yeah when I moved to LA Stan. Hope still has the picture somewhere. I think he gave it to Rogan. I

Was 235 maybe 230 because I remember being Getting up to like 245 when I got locked up for a while in Seattle during that whole crime spree Seattle I weighed myself and I was like 243 and I remember that I wanted to I didn't know anything about dieting I did but not like breaking it down. I went on a water being broke tuna diet Yeah, you know, I ate tuna. I love I always know that when you need to lose weight you tune out of fucking can you lose weight? It's as gross, but it comes to remind you after three or four days. It's like juicing you just get used to it Yeah, flip that motherfucker over you get a few apples you eat tuna and a few crackers and some apples and After a while you go for the you go for broke or whatever the fuck you do, you know, so yeah

But it's like anything anything you want to do even with writing for ten years. I lived here and I procrastinated writing You know, how lucky are we that we got together? We go to work like I go to work and you know that I go to work There's no, uh, you know, when I fucking sick my teachings or something we go to work. There's no fucking around. No well this week I'm sick, you know It's amazing how many things that become part of and how many things dissolve on their own without me even saying anything So I got a call a couple weeks ago for a pilot Yeah, hey, man. How you doing? I'm a friend of a friend. I want to call you I went and I go, you know what man if it's it's only a couple lines

Like I was like just call me when you're ready like a week away. I forgot what about this guy called me in October He called me last week. Oh, man. We're ready now. Oh, I gotta go to New Orleans, but it's amazing how They were shooting for network and there was all this, you know fucking What's this, you know, they weren't a rush. Yeah, and I told by October 8th They weren't a rush and now you're getting back to me fucking February 26 last Tuesday You got back to me and that's these people, you know, they Something else came up. So fuck everybody. I had talked to about the project now. I'm ready. Really you fucking Jamal Now you're fucking ready. What's up, Blake? You're staring at me like, you know, you're thinking about a fucking cheeseburger

Look at you. I can tell no, I'm doing Look at that mean you're going like if anybody I could talk Joey into driving Look at you. I could tell it's all right. I love you no matter what. Well, I don't want you to eat a cheese I want you to do this juice and then be healthy and live your life and sling some dick You got Rosie and Boston wait for you to come with that little flying Jew dick across the country and put in a little fucking P-hole, you know I'm saying don't you don't be taking this out of the podcast, you know, you love that a little freak What I'm crying in the car the other day Rosie watching fucking will be watching by yourself the notebook The notebook. No, I don't know. I'm trying to play along

What I was thinking about though, and I forgot how good it is to walk around because where I work It's very industrial and I work I walked around and I like you notice things You don't notice when you're driving like I walk by and there's a sports memorabilia place and I ended up being shitty But like it was cool. I got went in and I looked at some old baseball cards and it's just It's a for people who because a lot of people I do the YouTube videos and a lot of people say I'm gonna start Just walking around like your city is a cool way to go. You can go into a store and it was a lot of fun You know, I don't know if you know this don't cause you don't money to walk Caution money to join a jam

Caution money goes from the caution money for food, but don't caution on money for walk So you're fucking stories. You can't run them by Uncle Joe. You know, you any music for me over there concern? Yeah, sure I'm over here sparking solo Fuck this joy. I'm gonna like the bat of death the one that Lee likes every time I smoke is Lee What do you call me an hour later and tell me no my fucking for some reason only my lower half like it's high My head never gets high on that shit. I don't know what gets high on this my legs just your legs That's it just from your little ways down. Yeah, next time we smoke Let's go for a walk from here to Bangkok and come back. Talk suck it Jesus Christ

That's what I used to do. You know, that's a listen the easiest way to lose weight for me is to smoke some fucking reef and go to YMCA You know, you forget you even there next thing. You know, you're on the treadmill. You've gone there for 35 Yeah, to wrap Because look at this fucking monster So the thank you very much the improv was a lot of fun last night in Braille was great Brad listen when I was when I started this little comedy venture They contacted me that guy Dan from Brad contacted me four years ago

Because you know what people always ask about you and Brad come on down to brand start a Wednesday Nobody will come out Lee. I give away 40 tickets. That's it. Nobody will come out pack was that motherfucker. It was bad like we I've been there a couple times with you now and Usually it's like it's full, but there's like a little back area that maybe not be I don't think there was an empty seat in the house No, no and testicle test which was fun. Oh, yeah, and that was a testicle testament leader I've been writing for the last two months. I didn't think I could pull it out of my ass No, that was a bunch of people said it was one of the better ones and I think it was Testimid five it fucking cuz I sat there for two months cried. Yeah, I cried a lot man when I wrote that one because it was about

I don't know. It was like and now let me tell you about what's going on now Lee I talked a lot about my uncle in that. Yeah, that was September 20th of 84 I came on here tried to rob my uncle at gunpoint. We got into it and it was basically about feelings It wasn't about nothing me and my uncle were always Titans. I was a little kid. I used to come out here So Wednesday night I go down to the ice house and I tell Lee and I tell everybody else that showed up Which is another packed house about this fucking Uncle that told me I would never amount to nothing that my jeans were bad and I took it personal

So I tried to rob the motherfucker they show him and he caught me and we didn't talk and we hailed each other And I would call him from jail and fucking tell him I was gonna fucking kill him And I would prank call me never figured out was me and I Went to do it on addition a couple years ago, and I was a Malibu and I remember pulling over to the beach and putting two Together this is Malibu. Wow. This is Malibu and also I'm like I used to come here as a kid with my uncle I finally went on information and I called my uncle and I he answered and we talked and we're friends today You know and we've been tight. We go to breakfast lunch at Langers on Mondays and yeah, this Cuban place and he's the one you went to a Dodgers game like a game with I bought the tickets at Costco

Which Dodger season is coming again right off the fucking corner break out your fucking hockey helmets? So, uh, I like my uncle. He gave me a second chance and we've had beefs in the last year I said something when they they got pissed at me for like four months But I got a call from my cousin Thursday on the drive to Brad That has you have you spoken to him? I don't know and they go, you know what? He's sick. He ain't gonna tell you. He's really sick like really sick. He could die And he's he's been going to hospital visits lately. He hasn't been filling me in And I've been thinking about him

I kind of broke down the last two days, you know, and I called him we were gonna do breakfast today But I fell asleep up to the farmers market And then we're gonna do dinner and he was going to some fucking place Some barbecue place. So I gotta see him and I invited him to go to New Orleans with me maybe. Oh nice and You know, I don't know what his fucking gig is, but it's amazing that I had a hatred for him for 20 years Because he told me the truth Sometimes people he told me I was a piece of shit and I knew I knew it

I knew the direction I was going. He even told me I'm surprised you're walking around He even been shot ended up in prison. I took offense to that and I Tried to strike back like a fucking underboss piece of shit that I was instead of taking a high road of green with him and getting my Life together. I finally did so it's I want to do something with him or I'm like when I come back I'm gonna take him to Dodgers down in Arizona. Oh Spring training. That's that should be nice I wanted to be proud of me You know I'm saying I want him to go to whatever fucking planet

He's gonna go to next and tell him, you know what the kid didn't turn out that fucking bad You know, you know, he had some problems early on he pulled the 22 on me or 38 whatever the fuck it was or both of them I Wasn't that bad. So that's what I'm very thankful about So that's it. I just want to let people know I love my uncle. We all have a relative that we love to death and he's That relative me and him related as a kid, you know, when you have an uncle, you know, I was growing up in Jersey So to me having an uncle in California was like a dream come true. I would brag about him to people Yeah, I mean it was always that escape. I always knew growing up even before my parents died if something was to happen

I always had an out in California. I don't know why I Don't know why I always had that thought so for years after my mom California but them and things I get Harry is I'm thinking about moving to California. He's like, I don't want you here now. I Don't need you. I got my own fucking dilemmas. You come here now. What are you gonna do? Yeah, you're shipping me with you It's right. That's all I was gonna do for me I All my grandparents passed away when I was very young so I had this aunt and uncle who Were my a little bit older than my mom's age and they turned into like my pseudo grandparents and your parents came from Cuba

So you obviously didn't have a grandparents. Was he the kind of like your grandfather sort of thing? No, you know fucking grandfather I know he's not that much older than you but like kind of taking that role. No, no, I don't think so Grandpa's a grandpa. No, it was an uncle, you know An uncle's an uncle and grandpa's a grandpa you fuck you go fishing with your uncle You don't go don't talk to you buddy young your grandpa don't talk to you about eating some chick snatch But your uncle will if you have a grandson, you'll do that Yeah, pull him aside and say that chick you brought over you guys take your tongue up a little fucking queef So we've been discussing the whole plan with the chick the chick and we saw this girl and she's cuter than fuck now

The next step is that yeah, she wants to front Lee's face But she wants to pee on his face little mouth open Lee's cracking on me like I want to do it I'm not cracking now. You call me at work. You're like, all right. Here's the deal. She just wants to piss you No, no, you open with she wants this shit on your chest. Yeah as a joke, but then she don't want to show you She's got too much class. She wants to pee in your mouth Just one time a little squirt and you over there having fucking can it fit some crying and telling me Fucking milk not a pee back like like I peed on that fag and fucking New York that time of the fucking In the

Yeah, not like that like I peed on him like a whole gallon of fucking light beer Until I'm about a couple drops from a little noodle right in your mouth. No, come on The mouth is the worst part to get that in Lee you eat pussy, right? Yes. I mean you eat piss What's the fucking no little piss they have a little pee coating on that fucking click a coating is different than getting its Sean at you. What's the difference? She's not gonna shoot at you. How about she pisses on the sponge and just squeezes on your face? No, so join shit. That's an old trick. They didn't Bangkok in 78 Come here I just smoked smoke some more with the music Lee you fucking slip and cut second. Oh

Shit a little bit the fucking who here. Oh shit. Oh shit I'll start with you. Look at you. You look big. You're looking like Simon boss sinister. You don't sign in Boston is this We go we go we infinite blow that out Oh What the fuck it's good you're juicing your fuck. This is good for the juice Read about it marijuana juice never whole fucking chapter. They even want you to put the refa in the fucking juice You know how good you'll be in shape You'll be a flying marijuana

Fuck yeah, twit Lee sciat at least I had a feature put a little button this fucking juice tonight And we'll put it and you still gotta make a juice tonight, right? Yeah, we'll put a little button How's that? Yeah, fucking no cocksucker You won't let the chick pee on you in the mouth a little bit. You won't What the fuck they get it together Yes, I'm gonna watch this cocksucker And it we we don't get fooled again Oh

What the fuck wait you smoke somewhere. Yes, I want you to get your shit together because you're slipping So, uh, yeah, it was nice. We had a nice fucking weekend. Nothing's going on in news I give a fuck about you know this basketball much madness. I don't know the teams yet I get hooked up like one about a week and a half and we'll talk about my man. He didn't Vandal a silver knocked out Brian Stan. I was nervous for you Was that part of the fight before that where the guy had a bloody nose and I just looking I was looking at you No, I was alive and kicking, you know, okay like the lumbar

Lost the decision to you can use an old you can oh comey. Whatever his fucking name is You should get on top. Yeah, whatever the fuck he was on top of you should not do nothing That's the way this thing and he got on top of a guy do something him in the ball by them in the neck Do something we say yeah, what else what was it that fight where the guy fought the Hawaiian dude Mark Hunt. No, that's definitely true. Okay, seven foot guy against Mark Hunter. Why he broke his fucking jaw And he broke his head. Do you see that he tweeted a picture today of his x-ray his fucking skull has a crack in it Yes, he does imagine getting hit that fucking hard in the jaw. Would you keep that's it? That's why I call the tennis camp Excuse me. What is your next enrollment? I?

Become a fucking ballerina. I'm not need that. Listen, man I'm gonna tell you something guys. Let's get this shit out of the way I got beat up early on Like one time at 15 by John Bender. He broke my fucking nose And one time I got beat up in Hudson County Park And I tried to mug that fucking pedophile slash fag whatever I'm not getting trouble for that I should have called him a pedophile. He was really a sand dusk. He was He was no fucking like a flame or nothing like that. There was no flamers in 1980

I came across the park was all the distorted fucking people He threw a beat on me and one time I got a beat in Colorado. I got choked in Colorado I almost got stabbed in Colorado. So I understand and I didn't like it. Nobody likes getting hit No, but there's a certain I could just do who the fuck likes doing stand-up You know, I know that somebody said to you why don't you go up on stays last line? You like in front of 300 people fuck you so I understand it There's there's fighters that are like Joey. Are you fucking crazy? I wouldn't go up there and talk I would never that's the worst thing in the world for me

But they'll take 22 fucking punches to the face and the knee to the head me you need me I'm done. Even if I don't even if I don't get knocked out Even if I'm knocked out I'm knocked out. I'm going down. There's no reason to stand up there and slug it out I'm 50 fucking years old when I was 20, maybe I jumped out a window and he was a stick or something Yeah, the worst for me is getting punched in the face. The body I can handle I Got fucking hit with a whiff of all that But I hit a dude with a whiff of all that one night those sting all those fun You have no fucking idea especially when you put socks in those things

You put socks and make them heavier. You know, so what you do is you cut the fucking bottom off and you put rocks in there Fill up with socks and you push it down like a fucking q-tip in a cannon and it becomes that top becomes top top Top heavy. Yeah, fuck the motherfucker in the head with momentum and all they see is a light and pop pop pop They go to fuck down. I had this buddy one night Tommy Russo good fucking good fucking White dude, I grew up with you know had his problems, you know, his father the mother whatever the fuck But one of the night I knew them growing up and one of the nights we became friends. I Was walking home all coped up couple ludes and me me and this Louis Castellito and

Kurt DeLorens on down in Miami right now doing what the fuck they're doing and we saw this guy and did he can tarot Mm-hmm. Just do did he can tell they call the man chop And we saw this guy Tommy Russo and he's walking around with his shirt ripped And we were like, bro, what happened? He's like this guy jumped me And I've told the story before on some part because this guy jumped me or whatever And we went we found the fucking whiffleball bat And we just stuffed it with fucking rocks and shit and the guy was at a bar drinking And we called the bar and told the bartender to tell him to come outside of his ride was waiting

when he came out and I hit him with that fucking whiffleball back cuz I like Tommy I just and I forget what the guy's name was and he did it like a hot chick in my hometown I like Tommy and Then Tommy proceeded to hit him with a fucking right hook to the fucking head of right straight And this guy went down his eyes on the back of his head I thought the guy died and I ran like a little fucking pussy though. I thought he was dead I didn't know that's the first time in my life

I see somebody go down like that and just his eyes go in the back when he stopped breathing his mouth open And he gave that last The dog I ran like a fucking mother for the next day They say he was alive and he wanted to see us and he was like, I'm sorry for hitting your buddy Oh, you know, we get a little you hit somebody with a whiffleball bat. I just changed their fucking like I got hit a lot man Just a plain whiffleball bat would hurt I got hit with a new chuck One time and the real

The kind of ones the four-sided ones that whatever Why are you playing around with it? No, I'm in the city trying to get coke and some guy tries to mug you some guy chasers I got hit the fucking back With a thing I've got clocked a mugger a mugger had none talks Bro, listen when they're crack-o's and they're trying to get coke or whatever. They'll hit you with everything They're fucking God, you know, you're fighting these motherfuckers. Who knows what they you know, they start off with a knife They come home with a fucking Well, I don't know what a yo-yo. I don't fucking don't leave. I don't fucking know

You know, you never know people desperate that people do desperate fucking things when I went to kidnap Bella I had a machine gun. What what the fuck and all I needed was a fucking a backhand I could a bitch like me kidnapped him. You follow me. Yeah, people show up with a fucking a little marksman repeat and some people show up With a fucking bazooka to you. I mean, what what am I gonna tell you? Jesus you want to smoke some more? No, what the fuck it Sunday? I have to be up in fucking 10 hours You're 24 years old 10 hours And we're gonna be doing this for the hour

You could go bar fuck it you eat her ass Come home either again bang or again throw out sleep three hours and be a soldier at 24 Stop you're juicing supposed to give you more energy You're supposed to be doing jumping jacks and fucking flying around like the the px 90 and shit Lookie you sit. Did you make a tape today? I'm doing after this. You're doing it after this. What were you doing at work today? Were you working? Yeah fucking it's uh, yeah working for the entire 12 hours Did you gut shit? It's a

More it's more of like a maintenance sort of thing I gotta watch it all along the way Braille was nice and then next is New Orleans New Orleans is next Friday the next Sunday That's it. I come home again. That's Sacramento. I gotta go to Nashville, you know And that kills me. I gotta leave my wife for a week, but her sister's coming out of there coming Yeah, we got the whole fucking Yang Yang family coming out I'll catch them for two days when I fly out the next week. So it's not she's not alone

I don't have to worry about it. She's got a little help. You know, she's been the trooper with the baby Baby sleeps, you know, it's amazing that I've been home playing family. I've never had this opportunity. Yeah And you've been home. You know where you've gone you went to Florida and then you ever say I went to Columbus That's it. I've been home since December 1st bitches I've been home, you know, and do I like it? Yeah, I do a lot when I'm fucking home. Well, you know, Lee I put it together because I'm not like most guys will sit there. I really enjoy going out But you know, you're not gonna go to fucking Maine in

In February, no 10 degrees. I can't go up there. These guys went to Columbus I think I had great shows up there in Columbus Joe Rogan and Red Band and Triple-A and they went to Cincinnati, but they were sweating it. They were sweating the fucking weather for a few days It's cold out there right now. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck that. We got some good guests today. We got the chick calling back from my Auntie Dolores, oh sweet She's you know, cuz I had some questions a lot, you know, sometimes it's funny You have somebody call in and you asking questions and I'm no fucking interviewer people I never claimed to be so relax, but you guys have great questions and you'll send me back and you help me out

So a couple people want to know about gluten-free and that they have sugar random and The allergic to them we spoke the other day. She was coming to town. So I said fucking just go on Sunday night We'll ask you some questions gotta be a quick podcast. We got to get this fucking beauty sleeves I guess toes rubbed I'm working a hundred hours this week. Oh Stop your for the stuff I do with this now What do you do you got a climb you really got to get a fucking trench No, I'm sitting there looking at kids flying and fucking some dog

Spinning around in circles, then you put a two edits in and you send it back to the bus Then you get up and you go get a fucking donut. You talk to your buddies about Captain Kirk What are the fuck you cocksuckers talk about then you go back you sit down again? You do two or three more tapes, which I understand you're a hard-working. I love you to death But the whole time you're sitting there, you know, I'm saying it's like you're doing jumping jacks or holding a torch And you know, you're mugging somebody at gunpoint. You're sitting there. It's nice. You got air conditioning on right? Yeah, your feet up your shoes are off. No, I come on. I mean, I'm in six different bays at once I got to keep walking around you put pulling on your bang when I

You speak dirty to you make those little jerk off. No, you make those little stony kid. No, he's it He's a little fucking June always I love you cocksucker. Are you kidding here? You have to work ten hours. It's like a father. It's like a part-time gig How much smoke there was in here? It's like Chong's fucking bathroom, what is wrong with you dog? What is how much did you smoke in Italy today? What can I say? Oh, it's a terrible thing. I ever have it. I can't I can't help myself Do you get higher work? No, what the fuck this one top America? You don't bring a number so you didn't bring a little to toots. I'm constantly around people. What am I gonna do?

You spray a fucking number then you put some bonac on you No Did you give more information? I did Told them was a Spanish person in my complex. I didn't like it. You got some freaks out there today You're a little Filipino freaking father fucking place Jesus Christ. I'm being surrounded No, no, no, I'm serious. I'm serious. You had some nice fucking people out there Oh, nice. You had some hot chicks in the building. I don't know what you're doing with your life I don't know either. You got to get a leak cocksucker. What time you gonna make we're gonna put this bud you people

But at least I had hit him up if you want to see Lee put a little bud in his fucking shake People are doing it. I don't like it. He sleeps like a baby. He'll sleep like a fucking baby This fucking guy is the biggest resistance in the world. All I've ever done is try to help this little car He's thinks like I'm trying. I want to check the peel. I'm not good. That is for your skin. It's not listen in 1990 I had this Puerto Rican chick piss. I mean a greyhound bus. It's the best thing that ever happened. They didn't my foot fungus went away It was tremendous. Hey fucking bullshit. She was leaving. Listen. It was on the way from Rochester Buffalo She had a little health issue. She had like crabs a gonorrhea some nobody fucking did you work through that with some penicillin He's the stuff that your body's like, no, I don't want this stuff. This is bad

What? No, it's not fucking Vegeta drinks his own piss a chick dropping three pistols out of a little pussy into your Mount would change your life. No one would change your fucking room. I'd end up in a padded room rocking back and forth saying fuck Joe ideas Joe ideas loves you more than life and fucking self. You understand me? You taking a ride of your fucking life But thank God I don't do heroin and blow and get you in a con ticket of Vegas for a weekend. She's fucked that dude Get him to the fucking what's that dude Jonah Hill that fucking Irishman. What's it? I'll get him to the Greek. I would make that look like get get the fuck out of here I'd have black chicks farting on your face. You beat nice. They'd be like your foot on fire

You'd be fucking Chevrolet. What would you do? You'd be shooting a little snort a little heroin I never make you shoot him a little bump just to get the party started we shave your beard we strap explosives on Fucking at this point. This is a church of what's happened. What music got me Lee? Why are you torturing me? You went through all the music. No, you didn't I play fucking two songs. You didn't lick me up tonight. What happened here? What can I say you didn't have the whole ready for me to come back at the hotel? Yes, that's it. That's all the music you got. That's all that's all I was given No, I gave you like 18 fucking songs wave. I got here now before the jam and shit. What's going on with you Lee? I can't smoke dopey, you know, do you have any shout outs for us? I got no shot

I was gonna give you a shut up, but now you want to shout out lick my balls That's a shout out your fucking get cock sucker. You have to get me upset, you know my blood pressure side They got me a little steroid. Oh Jesus. Yeah, I got one more day. It was a five-day package for this ear shit Oh, those kind okay, so they got me on steroids and they got me on Antibiotics, let me tell you something. I think it was yes I People you have to show them the camera look at the fucking smoke in that this is a podcast lady This is how we do it free. We live it free. Listen people have contacted me

Can you put it into a radio format and pitch it? I don't want to fucking be a radio station I want me if right now I want to take let's say Lee wasn't here right now. Do you think I'd be dressed up? I'd be fucking I'd have a shirt on that be under his scratching my fucking nuts You're still doing that one man. I got pants on Lee. What the fuck's wrong with you? I can't dig deep Like the helmet you can scratch the top here like right now. I got an it's deep in my ass under one of the creases I can't get to that fucking thing right now I'm sorry. You're a chubby dude, but we got creases enough Well, you get going for that's it no more reason for what can I say I'm gonna smoke this by myself

What are you gonna do? What else is in your future? Nothing right now. I want to know what you're thinking about for the movie. I Really want to shoot some with my uncle. I really Okay, what my uncle to talk about? What I saw it with a child, you know, one of the reasons my uncle and I fought that time Was be he was trying to explain to me his his disagreements how my mother raised me You know, but meanwhile he's got a wife. He's got a mistress He's got a mistress another mistress and he gets her pregnant He's got two original kids, but he's telling me this shit in 84 and this is what's pissing me off

He's telling me about how my mother raised me wrong. They showed me this and How I was a loser that it was just mind-boggling that this was I could see if this was that a street person Yeah, this was my uncle And even though it pissed me off years later when I found myself in prison I realized he wasn't lying Which is one of the hardest things to ever face when somebody's telling you the fucking truth and people do it all the time in Our lives and we don't want to fucking hear it. You know, there's some guy hit me fuck you your fat fuck You're out there giving fucking fat health diet tips, but you're a fat fuck. Listen, I might be a fat fuck

I lost 100 pounds. I got a little wordage here. I'm still at three fucking 07 now So I look I'm like you I lost some fucking water weight. I'm gonna tell you something guys if I inspire one person to take a walk Then my fatness helped somebody you follow me cock sucker. So suck my dick and call me short. I was born in 1940 Drop it Lee Lee. You didn't set up. No music for me. Oh, you're looking at me like Oh, you're 55 remember me to take 18 fucking heads off a joint and you matter me for not looking for music Jesus Christ, wait a week. Wait till I show you the kale edible. I brought you from Divine one is they gave me this edible. Okay. I'm a little super fly. I'm gonna move for super. I was last time Probably the last time we played it. I don't know when you play that last week. Yeah, I get your shit together

There we go Oh shit Oh Shit Lee it's that time all the fuck It's that time in the nightly. I'm happy we could do it tonight Lee me too because I was depressed when you called me up first because I Didn't know what was going on you follow me I just couldn't leave for two for a week and not call up brother calling. I'm waiting on you. I

Did text you this afternoon I Believe Unbelievable This is why you don't do fucking shit in your mind your business. Oh I Something happened to me the other day to work and I'm fucking really pissed me off talking so um, I Have I have an iPhone and I have about 18 of those chargers from different versions of shit

And I bring it to work because my phone dies and I couldn't find it And I'm at work the other day and I'm asking around for one and this girl takes one Oh, I have one you can borrow and it's mine And I know it's mine because I had wrapped tape around it and she sat there and lied like look to me and like fucking Lied to me and fucking it made me so angry and I First I didn't say anything like I was like I'm not gonna fucking I'm not gonna fucking say you stole it or anything cuz I couldn't prove it But then I stole it back and it's just I can't buy people who would look at like look you in the eye

I said I didn't steal something and just it fucking pissed me off Talking today's way listen. I can't say that I haven't done it people come to me said you robbed my house Are you fucking kidding me your family? I could I can't say I haven't done it But at the same token I understand that you get it back. I stole a back from her. Yeah, I didn't what the fucking crying about you You gotta steal it back. What are you gonna walk around like Abe Lincoln? I'm trying. I'm trying to come up with with something to talk about I don't know. I just right no, no, no, I'm happy that you know Hey, what are you gonna do people gonna steal your fucking shit people gonna do weird stuff for you? Yeah There's while people out there all the goddamn time. How was that person when I was younger, you know

But I never stole like a car stair like that ruins your fucking day. Yeah, I just robbed your coke through a couple hundred You know, I never understood the reasoning of Breaking into somebody's car There's a you know, Ford and Chrysler and all those cars have a radio in it that once it's disconnected from the car You can't use it. Really? Yeah, it shuts down. Well, they did 20 years ago. Jesus. I never understood robbing a car They catch you in the car. He's got nowhere to fucking go. I

Was in a stolen car one time and it was the creepiest feeling not that you felt creepy But you felt bad because you know That if you get pulled over You're going to jail and what a dumb way what a dumb reason to go to jail for yeah You're in the fucking car if you chase me, I got a gun on me and I get all I need is 30 yards to get rid of the gun The sewer or something that'll swarm the fuck down. They need 24 hours to press charges on me I put in the fucking sewers or whatever you got time But in the car, you got nowhere to fucking go. I never understood that new people listen. I'm like Joe

We never robbed the car. Yes, we did. Everybody robs a fucking car or relative fucking car in one point another Yeah, I just never understood the magic of it at that young age to rob a car Will you show up? You got no music tonight. We got no reefer We have plenty of reefer. How do you know? Cuz he reads my two joints. You want to smoke another one? No Hmm, this is what fucking talking about Terrible, but the ear infections down the steroids are making me retain water. I hate fucking doing them It was five days. They give you a package You have to take five the fourth first day for the second day three the first day such the weirdest thing cuz you got to take one for breakfast

one before lunch One after dinner and two before you go to bed the first naysayers. Oh, by the way, you're gonna get side effects One of the side effects. You can't fucking sleep at night. She's so I'm gonna be as honest I can't with you. It's like sleeping on blow you sleep, but not really like the lights aren't turned off It seems like you're asleep at the lights. Yeah, you can't fucking that's what it feels like So for the last couple like last night I slept and that ride back from Bray is a mother fuck Oh, and I did it three nights in a row. I used to do it for used to be you believe calmly at one time Used to be Tuesday through Sunday Jesus

Mondays off. That's it. And those are the days you flew. Those are the days you're fucking flew You know, there's a couple guys Blanking on his name right now who just they don't even have apartments. They just live on the road Tom Rhodes Who I heard about recently that's that must be crazy I'm living on the road. I did it for five years I did it for five years just going from now Does he pay for part of his hotel or that he just tells the club like I'll come in the whole week All right, here's the deal most clubs have a hotel room for stars like Joe Rogan

You know Kanye West no Kanye West, but like Kevin Hart and Bill Burr and shit like that. They also have a condo. Yeah, all right the condos have What do you call that shit? It's just a regular condo with a TV in a refrigerator stuff like that So what you do is you headline the week And if the club all likes you you could ask him could I stay the extra two days and pay the maid Okay, and you pay the maid and let's say the maid wants 40 bucks It's a lot better than doing you know saying then fucking paying her then paying the hotel room. Yeah, I did it Lee I used to leave for eight months at a time a year and a half at a time and I did it could be done

You know, it's funny you brought this up today something really weird has been happening lately. What's going on? We doubled the emails. Yeah, I don't mind. I fucking hit even every email back tonight. I must have sent 60 of them I don't mind. I still got like 60 to send. Okay, but something's been going on lately I'll tell you what is could Rogan said something to me first about and then I started getting and I was like wow That's fucking weird that he said something to me and all of a sudden now I'm getting these things left and right. Okay. When I started doing comedy. I Started doing comedy Really into it like I started doing comedy and you're iffy for two years like you started to die

Somebody will ruin you like I'm gonna do comedy then I would do it. I started as a comic I would do it once a month. Mm-hmm, and then I would tell people I'm a comedian and I would do it once a month That's it And I would do like these big shows or whatever and I would get like, you know Whatever dumb hacky fucking laughs and I would get up stage and then be a headliner and I talk shit like last month I did a show with the flying Jew You're following me Yeah, so then that people supposed to be fucking impressed by you but the whole time I was missing the beauty of it

I was missing the work part of it the work ethic part of it Well, you have to get on stage and like went to New York I learned it when I went back to Colorado 94. I Applied it and I knew a couple things. I learned a couple things in New York. Hey It's stand-up comedy, right? Yeah, it's you in a microphone, right? Yeah by yourself, right? Mm-hmm Understand that and learn from that it's you by yourself. You're not in the fucking part of a band. You're not part of a fucking Heal band, you're not part any of that shit. You're part you by yourself We get confused as comics we especially myself

I always would heard that was very funny So I thought that I was gonna do that one performance and have somebody see me and change my life That's what you have in the back of your mind. Yeah back in my night You're doing blow you're racking up your credit card bills and you're thinking to yourself. Hey Some one person's gonna see me and I'm gonna become a fucking star and Then you you get into a local club and now you start working with you know for me I started working with Paul Rodriguez and and Steve McGrew and and

Anthony Clark and I would do guess sets at the comedy works before I got thrown out of there and you get to meet these comics But in the back of your mind, you don't really want to meet them for them You want to meet them because doing a set in front of them is gonna change your whole life And when you realize that these comics live in LA and they have their own dilemmas and whatever You kind of get disappointed and you like fuck that dude, you know something because he didn't help me So that he can't help you. He's trying to help himself. Yeah, but it comes a point and stand up I mean even even in life in any part of life where you're fighting a addiction or weight whatever fuck you're doing that You realize that nobody's gonna help you you get online you read about it and you act on it the same way you did with the juicing

You follow me. Yeah, all the fucking film you got inspired and you do it the same way with stand up Well, I always get two popular questions on Facebook on the Gmail account of Joey Diaz done that the most popular is I'm getting at the stand up Do you have any tips and I try to explain the abridged thing like What are they saying when you when you do a term paper you you get to fuck? Oh, yeah, that's Park notes. Yeah, just notes This is the notes. I'm gonna give you the fucking line of note. Okay, that's it I'm gonna give you a line of note right every day and get on stage every fucking night I don't give a fuck if it's a if it's a court court

Poetry reading or karaoke my first year in comedy and Boulder I did poetry readings and Lee they would help me hate me These are people where they wouldn't put fucking the other one on. What do you poetry or do you do comedy? Oh, yeah Yeah, I go up there and read poetry. You should I stab you right now. I go up and do comedy But I knew that by that time 94 I knew it was about stage time and it's like joining kickboxing for me You know or joining jiu-jitsu for somebody even then it required after the more you go the easier it gets Yeah, so once I put that in my head in 94, I would go to the poetry readings as a number

You know that the more auditions you go to the higher the percentages like anything else in life It's just throwing spaghetti against the wall, but with comedy you have to get on stage You have to get on stage every five minutes counts And you have to log it your first five or six years in the business You have to log it into the fucking notebook What night you go on stage and how you did what material you didn't and whatever I didn't tape every set But I know when I bomb or I do okay. Yeah, you know the phone like last night. I didn't do okay the second show I did mediocre. I didn't take them where I really want them to take them for a late show

They should have been easier than fuck last night. I didn't take them there. I wasn't prepared mentally Well, I wasn't prepared joke-wise. I went somewhere off the track that I had Okay, once I go off the path. It's very hard for me to get it back. I was high. It was the last show I was tired, but It's weird that I You have to keep getting on stage. It's like to become a good editor I don't get out early by reading about anything. No, yeah, how long did you become an edit? How long did you fucking edit since freshman year high school? So I'm at fucking year like year 12 now

Seriously, no, you're 10. Yeah, how long does it take you to become a professional fucking editor? Well, I'm not even there yet. I It's weird. It's I have probably Fucking another two or three years before I start getting like TV gigs Like like I'm an assistant editor right now So it takes about five or six years, but there's people who've been doing assistant editing for like 10 So like my next gig or two in like that. I'm gonna start looking for it But people ask me a lot of time like how did you get that and it's just There's so somewhere I heard that it's like you have to do it for 10,000 hours for like that's what like the hacky thing to say

but it's just Like there's a lot of people think they're funny or something and I mean I tell jokes in my head and I make it laugh But I introduced you at the ice house the other night and I got on stage And I don't know if it was the ice house or if it was every stage But those fucking lights are brighter shit rather than shit that right there is like a listen There's a big difference between the funniest guy in your block and getting on stage Yeah, and people really have to it's a hard lesson to teach people

Yeah, and it's very hard when they're at the office and they're talking about their wives and they're committed to it And they really know it's like what Joe Rogan talks about with the UFC You know, you can be a great fighter your first fight the UFC It could be tough to lights to people you're not used to that your mind's not used to that Your mind's not used to taking a punch and people cheering on Yelling used to fight behind the fucking McDonald's and smack some guy three times They're gonna you run to your car before the cops get there. You know, these are things and Like I don't like when people don't respect the stand-up

People like I did it one time, you know, I got laughs and you're like, no, you didn't you got lucky Laughs is when you make a fucking living doing it laughs is when you're doing it And I see a lot of guys that are making a great living and whatever I didn't make a living until 10 years ago doing it 15 years ago, but that's not the thing that's revolving lately I mean getting hit up for people Try to do a shortcut. Oh Everyone wants a shortcut, but it's amazing how I've been doing a podcast I've been podcasting with you for half a year

I did a Felicia for two years and I do it with everybody else for about six So I've been podcasting for two and a half years I've been getting the Facebook's about it my space is about, you know, different situations different conversations Now obviously you get Facebook messages and we've got the Gmail account So now I get the answer, you know, like I said, but now I'm getting hit up for Can I what do we need to do to open for you in these towns? Now, I know when somebody has been doing the work. I Know and when somebody is doing a shortcut, you're like Joey

How do you know did you had a conversation with him last night myself and silent Bob? Oh, what brother? Yeah, but his brother His brother was gonna be the original flying juke His brother came up here. We shot a video between you and I. He was horrendously bad First he took head shots first. He kept telling me was a photographer. Oh, you told me about him We did the head shot, but this is hollywood. Yeah, and you always want to give the underground guy a shot So I said sure I'll take head shots with you. I'd rather give you 200 than some fucking scumbag He did these head shots leave that I had basically take him and rip him up. I never said none to him about

I ate the 200. I never had the balls to say they were terrible Because sometimes that 200 to him meant the world. Yeah, do you follow me? So what was I gonna do 200 hours? I'm gonna cry about he came up. He had the equipment Lee You would have died And he kept telling me he knew what they were. That's why I got so furious, but I didn't say nothing Then he kept telling me he wanted to do film. He had gone editing course You know, I thought he went to school. Finally. I found that it was online. You know, you make videos He never caught the video

He kept shooting it and then turn it off and starting up again. That was Again, we put the video up I didn't have the heart to say nothing. He disappeared on his own. Yeah, because he lived 45 minutes or what? I love the kid. I still call them once a week He calls him one day. He tells me he's got a job making 18 bucks an hour guys $18 a fucking hour that's 60 hours a week young man. This is three years ago guys. Okay. How long did I meet you? Three years ago? Yeah Uh, he gets the first job putting fields down for football fields The sod down. Yeah. So during the all season the company would take you to new england

For three weeks and you put the whole fucking thing down when you do the baseball one I don't know how it works. Not from there. You go to st. Louis for three weeks. So you're on the road So but the first this company since they're out of here. They do san francisco San jose college anything football related from cali the crew he got on Yeah, so he didn't have to leave so they had him up at Fresno For three weeks or something some went down and he quit 18 bucks an hour he quit didn't his friend got him another job at a

Manufacturing plant again union job. Didn't you hear me this brother telling the stories every job he got was 20 bucks an hour Wow, this guy doesn't get like fucking regular jobs He gets union jobs and every job he's there for three fucking weeks and there's a problem So he calls me one day. He goes, I'm a I'm gonna be in hollywood because I meet with you So I met what I told him what we needed. I go listen. I need some guy to make some videos And after a while, let's start shooting shorts The same way you and I did. Yeah And I said this one needs to be done. I got a camera from Gabriel. I swear to god

It was two or three weeks before you or maybe maybe two months before you when the we woke up september Yes, I'm like that. Yeah, we I got the camera june. So I hooked up with him in july Bought him lunch did the whole thing same spiel. I gave you this is what we'll do Never heard from him yet Never heard from him again for 18 months And then one day he called me and I go, what's up? He said, hey, I sure you have a documentary, bro I go, yeah, who'd you do that way? I go my friend And before he could say something I just I'm leased on

I said, here you go, motherfucker Fuck you, you know, you had the opportunity you never called back. No, bro. I was busy Don't fuck you you had 10 opportunities and not to mention you've had 10 jobs that are all tremendous jobs That you quit what you want is somebody to give it to you Again, how do I know I was that guy when I was 21 I wanted to snort coke on somebody else's account and dance and he pussy and go out every night But I don't want to do the fucking work One day you realize you gotta do the fucking work, you know, and that's what these people think that they even even if you do

Let's say I let you open up for me in in fucking Chicago. How's your life going to change? If you're not doing the work, it's not going to change for you You know, it's so funny. I feel like the big thing in months comics. I swear to god The last two weeks everybody wants to be on the Joe Rogan podcast But it's hysterical because everybody thinks by appearing on there one time That life's gonna change and it's not what you do on that podcast is what you do afterward That makes the difference in how you react to the light that that podcast gives you and your doors that get open for you But people don't know that

Yeah, because I I've On him or another podcast if I like a guest I'll check them out And I put up a listen to one podcast and it's shit. I won't listen again And the and the reason why why this has worked is Yeah, you started on there But they finally went to you on facebook and twitter and you do the music and stuff and they like it. So they stay It's uh, I don't know what the term is But like when when you're selling something you don't want a person to come back once and buy something

That's why you're not like an asshole to them. You want them to keep coming back and keep coming back So if if if you do a good job, it's like with jobs out here jobs in my industry They never ask for college degrees. They never ask for for anything like that. They never ask what your gpa was They ask for references And you have to have good references and you have to do a good job and that's all that matters Don't ask for gpa's don't ask for your school scripts or nothing. What do you call those not scripts reels None of your school uh transcript transcript. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sniffing my boogie somebody complained to me Yeah, they'll stop fucking coughing and shit. What do you want me to do? I got a fucking puk in my ear

It's a little checkie grades nothing. No, I've always said that school is not about grades. It's about the commitment You're there for five years now. They know that you'll do something for five fucking years They you know a flake but it's amazing how that kid never spoke to me after we made the documentary really I've always asked his brother time to call me He won't call me because he feels that I fucked him because I made it with you and we did the videos and we do the He had me hustle. He also was tight with Gabriel. He did something for Gabriel. Gabriel loved it But he went up to Gabriel. He goes, bro. I've been doing this for eight weeks. I want like a thousand dollars a week And Gabriel goes, here's the 500. Have a nice fucking life. Yeah, you stepped up the grave. You're the fucking wrong way

Gabriel has 19 people on staff. Gabriel pays. Jesus. Do you see do you see his picture you put up? Like 30,000 people. Oh, please. Did you see his video? No the Harlem. What is the Harlem whatever? Oh, the Harlem shake. What is that? Can you bring it down? I don't even know what the fucking is there's youtube feds It's that's how old I am. I don't even know play it for me. Can you play? What does it sound like? I'll play the music for you. You can't see it Someone did one and it's this one this one guy and then the song breaks and then they all dance around I'll play the music because I seen something on the news the other day when they were underwater And somebody fucking played underwater, but I heard the music and I'm like somebody said Gabriel had one

Somebody else had one somebody else had a Harlem shake. What the Miami that Miami? So like right now like you guys just like kind of doing this Oh, shit This is what the country's going crazy about Yeah, and now there's like a group of people like dressed up weird doing nothing But it was funny. There's you know, why don't we play it and we'll smoke fucking dope over it How about that? You know, man, we'll jump up and down like these fucking momos. We could do one. This is it Yeah, listen to this shit

Oh, oh no, this is a different one. It's just this is another group of it But um, it's funny because there's a youtube video of Harlem reacts to it and apparently Harlem shake is like this or something like let me see let me see People Harlem do it. Let me see. Did you did you repeat this? No, someone posted it But apparently it's like a dance they do and they're they're pissed in Harlem because it's like it's like all these videos are a bunch of White kids just doing it in the offices and shit. So speaking of which that squad Harlem got to get out there The fucking El Dominicano has got to get out there and inflict some fucking pain

Don't be doing the Harlem shuffle if you're living fucking Canoga Park, you know, no, yeah, they get pissed about some shout outs to these cocksuckers They were good people this week here the savages of East, New York You understand my man Garcia the Puerto Ricans Mexican whatever the fuck it is up there Rageo Death Squad Toronto D Wiggles J. R. Steiner selling shirts like a motherfucker on Joey Diaz not net for you people don't know He's also in charge of Brodie Steven shirts. The less the shirts go to jr designs. I don't know exactly what the fucking thing

On but he's on Twitter. He's a good man. He's my brother. I love that black motherfucker Trevor Demarra Alex Stone the bro with swag Jim Pitt singer Stefan Sloan alpha mind Mike and my man Mark And Charles they came to the show in Braille last night sitting there getting his D machine on I love you guys Thanks for coming to all my Orange County shows and supporting like a motherfucker the Harlem shuffle Unbelievable. I didn't know what it was. It's nothing. I don't fucking listen dog. I mean, uh, I can't I can't I'm too busy to listen to music. I listen to some shit today

That one I want you to find okay, okay And this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna start doing this because I totally I want you to find Eric Clapton I said to the blind I want you to play that real quick I said to the blind And quick I want to give a shout out. Uh, Al Vega. He was very nice. He talked to me after the show Al Vega is a good fucking man. So, uh Uh, the very weird thing is that I always talk about the 70s having great music If you get a minute people, uh, I played the who tonight because I was watching the hoodie and that was nice and stoned

Doing homework for you people trying to look for fun stuff and I found this video play it Lee and it's Eric Clapton. I watch this movie as a kid Listen to this shit and you gotta watch what we're gonna do is we're all gonna line up next week And I'll tell you what at the end of the podcast We're gonna put this video on and play it and all watch this together and smoke dog This is Eric Clapton and the fucking who Mick Flea would in a church Roger Daltrey They're all dry. This is craziness Lee but

Oh shit Lee look at Lee's fucking Talk about Joe woman I wish you could see She brings eyesight to the blind Lee this is so fucked up Why this thing just when they said go a little deeper go until a little deeper once they start walking down the pews It's a church That character walking around like a Maryland man a Maryland Monroe

Statue it's a man and then they start drinking and they show you the picture of Marilyn Monroe to heal you It's a bunch of people going there to get healed and Marilyn Monroe's a goddess and she This is and look at all the suits they have on now. You want to go with Pink Floyd? Is this a movie or a movie? This is a movie called Tommy was a musical without John playing the pinball wizards Just tremendous. Don't listen I could be some blow hard and tell you oh my god, it's what you're listening It's a movie that if you last passed a fucking hour, you might as well get a hundred hours from the producers

It's so fucking bad. I mean, it's not bad. It's slow. It's a rock opera. Yeah, not, you know today We can't we got to watch it. We got three minute fucking videos This takes an hour But to watch the mind of whoever fucking put this together these are musicians do And I was watching this going You know what man? Wow, they should do something with this America can't deal with this type of shit. This is the shit came out in 74 I forgot. I didn't forget about it. That's one of my all-time favorite songs watching Clapton

That's when he was still on heroin. Look at his face. He was all fucked up. Oh shit. What? Nothing, but um Yeah, I mean thank you. Did you ever go and see that that Chinese uh 21 and 21 movie? No, I've been busy all week. I didn't see it. I only made nine million bucks this weekend. You know twa Identity theft was number two. Yeah, and the number one movie was jack the giant giant. I didn't really kill him That looks so bad. Listen guys. This is america Who would to see that fucking movie if you want to see jack the giant slayer? Fuck I don't know what to tell you

You might as well drink the kool-aid with the rat poison in it because you're killing yourself to live worse than fucking sabon I hate but killing yourself to live on by black. I've had I got a smoke that movie is all green screen I can't stand it and I don't know how if 21 over was good. What'd you hear? What was the review? I didn't see I didn't hear the reviews. I know you got you have a college buddy who went with his little hat with the propeller on What would the fucking review? I'll look for it. Why when I'm playing I tell you I'm starving right now Me too You know, I got a house. What Chinese apples or Chinese apples Apples it's just fruit. Okay

I went to the farmers market today. Tremendous. My buddy ordered Chinese food last night. He was just texting me. He told me the order Fuck What do you get fucking orange chicken? What's your favorite Chinese dish? General general guys are general so's I like uh Dumplings like egg rolls, but know what I really like. What's that those bonus spare ribs that get like a little bit crispy or like a burn Got that sweet sauce. Oh, yeah, so you like all that sweet sauce. I had a spare rib on my birthday from p.m. Chang who was Italy

How was it? Oh shit Yeah Let's put it this way 21 and over on rotten tomatoes got a 31 percent which means what? I was in a movie that got zero. I wasn't fucking uh Oh movie. I got what so 31 percent can't be that fucking look you put it this way jack the giant slayer I know it was terrible. I'm a new tenant that got a 52 How do they wait I know a chick that works from a great drink I think she works for rotten tomatoes. I used to do her podcast a movie podcast. Okay

Well, uh, let's see A good day to die hard got 16. Fuck that was better than fucking Uh, did you see die hard? Yeah, I heard you really loved it. I love it. I mean, it's fucking what number six Is that number six or seven? It was a good action movie. Do you want jumping up and down? No, I saw it was cool though I saw it in an i max and it was fucking I don't like 3d, but i max is good if you can see it in i max without 3d. That's a good way to watch a movie But um

Yeah, I can't stand those fucking Fucking green screen movies are fake and I I don't know. I don't like fucking those I I thought people could tell people can't do it that shit I could barely deal with like if you knew the chinese connection When brucey goes into kung fu soon, he swings around and he grows you can tell it's like a japanese doll We're fucking fucked up. We're gonna have you know, that pisses me off But what you're not you're not bullshitting me, you know, I don't want to see a fucking 3d movie or something made for man I I can't no more. I can't it breaks my heart to

I'm depressed about 21 and over whatever I thought it was gonna do good or at least be like the comedy fucking movie of the year I'm waiting for four fucking no names To take comedy where it belongs on in a movie. That's what i'm waiting on You know, how many fucking times can we go see jonah hell who I love With the other guy and the other guy and they make a fucking movie by neighborhood watch I was watching at the end. How bad is that? Oh, I haven't seen that You know, it's just and it's supposed to be comedies. I remember like something about mario was a comic comedy

I spit the fucking popcorn out of you You know, I laughed at something about mario's gaze you motherfuckers might think but that's what a comedy is to me It's not two people smiling at each other like fucking paul rudd. I can't take him no more I can't take another fucking paul rudd movie. I was watching one the other this guy's kissed everybody too He's ate everybody's ass jennifer aniston. Yeah, he's done movies with all of them. I don't get it Where's the fucking humor in that shit league? I'm kind of this I'm kind of sad about it But I think this next anchor man is going to be the end of will ferrell Because anchor man one was great. It was awesome. And like that was the first time they introduced to him

I didn't see him on snl. But you never saw him on snl. I was too young. I love it. I love he's great But fucking no, he's got some great his last couple movies have just been so bad Well, they put listen first of all. Oh, we got Auntie Dolores calling What's happening you sexy savage? How's it going man? Good. How are you? I'm great. I'm great. What's been going on really good It's had a nice weekend, you know, the weather was really nice. I went to a baby shower today

You know regular weekend stuff now. Are you in southern california? No, I'm north. Okay. When are you coming down? I'm going to be down there next week. Wednesday next Wednesday Thursday Friday. So what are the dates this wednesday coming? Yeah, okay. I won't I won't see you but arie's out of town And arie wanted you to do his podcast. I thought you were coming in the following week like that monday But we'll put it together. No worries. I really do want to do that. Um, I just Something came up and I got to get down. No, no, no worries. We'll do it next time. Yeah But I was telling these guys for sure

I'm going to be coming down there more often now because um, you know, I got the right people in place and stuff and um I'm just uh for a few months there. It's been so so busy and we've been a bit understaffed and um, now it's going to start getting a little slower. So It gives us a time to breathe a little bit. Okay No, the reason why I was I was telling these guys that uh When you have a guest on sometimes you forget questions and then they get off and you're like shit and then people email you And it was the weirdest thing like three people emailed me about you last week Oh, really? And all of a sudden boom there you were and I'm like, oh my god

How funny is this and there's a friend I have uh mb leaps girl She lives in Canada and she thought if she went to Maine She could get your products And I'm like what gives you the impression you could do that and she's like well because I have the license I'm like, I don't think you could do that And it's I want to specify with these people What they can and can't do off your web page because I know you got hit Up by a lot of people after you did the podcast and they were probably yes

Send this weed to oklahoma and you're like, are you fucking retarded? You know, are you a fucking mutt? What is wrong with you? You can't even believe that they have the goal like you're like really guy No, you know, it's just um people are misinformed and the laws around all this stuff I mean they vary from state to state and we've only got 19 states on board. So People from canada sure don't know how it all works. Um, so But and every state's different which i'm finding out now because we do want to branch out into other states But there's really strict laws around how it can be done

And so we just want to make sure we're following all the right steps Now are there any animals in canada allowed at all? Do you know? In canada, I have actually no idea about canada. I don't think so. I don't think it's uh, I don't think canada is legal there in any way There are other countries that do have it. I think fein is one Um and israel israel is leading a lot of research too. I mean there's there's other countries out there that are on board You know, it's amazing that uh people hit me up. Hey, i live in miami. Can we go to anti delores website? And you sit there and go and even if they had the license, so this is basically

I wish I could but there's no Interstate commerce in this industry because that's a federal crime. It would have to be Recognized uh federally as medicine. They'd have to reschedule and all that before they can allow Interstate commerce. I mean that's never probably ever going to be allowed I mean it is someday great, but I don't think that's in the cards, you know Now the other question I had for you is some Another uh follower on twitter or somebody who listens to subscriber. I should say uh hit me up and said that Uh, he was out here and he got the license and he was very concerned about either gluten-free or

What's the other one these these guys concerned themselves with what products you had that were gluten-free? So I asked uh, yeah the popcorn. I think right Yeah, the popcorn gluten-free and the peanuts are gluten-free right, okay By nature those foods don't have gluten in them Um, but we might see making another gluten-free product soon. We're working on something now Now my man lee over here is on a juice diet and he can't eat nothing. What what can he juice? You got anything over there you could send over to this fucking guy could put in his juicy juice To get him flowing. He's all uptight

Well, we you have a lower tolerance than uh, your buddy joey, right? Uh, yeah, that's putting it lightly Okay, yeah, you might want to stay away from our products, but you might you know Oh, no, he gave me always give him everything. I give him everything I hook him up I I put this fucking guy in a different dimension. He calls me back puking and crying I'll tell you what's really good your pretzels are fucking amazing You got them down some you got them down front of 27 milligrams of thc I think there's a couple more milligrams in there. I was loaded the other night driving the fucking brand I was in an ho v lane with one hand over one eye one of those fucking nights

Oh, I was fucked up on the pretzels cutting off motherfuckers You know what so great about those pretzels is we have people that enjoy them for that reason and believe it or not We've got lots of cancer patients that are using it for pain and nausea I mean they love the pretzels that can stay off the sugar You only need to see you at a time. I mean each one has four milligrams. You could eat four You could eat eight. You can eat the whole bag. It's just um I eat half a bag before I leave And then I eat another half a bag when I get in the house about 10 30 by fucking 12 15

Are you kidding me or what it's back to the hotel? I'm fucking seeing colors I got up last night at three. I was so high. I had alley was under the covers my one chubby cat That's I mean And I had gray above the covers in between my legs like she just cornered me And I was so fucking high. I had a pee. I got up. I looked around the room. I couldn't move It was like the cats had kidnapped me and tied me up. I went right back to bed I dreamed in color till about six. I was so fucking if you eat like your edibles at night and fall asleep You wake up in the middle of the night to pee everything's fucking beautiful in life

You pee on the toilet seat. You pee on the carpet. You pee on the cat. Fuck them Don't you have a newborn baby? So you're telling me that you wake up in the middle of the night and everything's beautiful I got it. Let me tell you something It is amazing that little girl goes to bed at 8 30 I hear them. I hear them once a week Maybe at an off time But the word on this treat is because I don't hear dick I don't hear shit the word on this treat is she wakes up at three

So she sleeps six and a half hours She gets up my wife changes and puts a tip back in the mouth And she goes straight till seven when I get up at like six She's still in the room sleeping. My wife is making breakfast So she sleeps till six 30 quarter seven. We're very lucky. Uh Yeah, we're very lucky. So that's really uh help things and uh, she was on fire today and It's really weird because every day You see something new in your child every fucking day

Especially if you get hard like me I'm stoned. Like did she just say something to me? You know what I'm saying? Like I get that fucking highly Does she just say Christopher columbus or something? I have to realize I ate some of your carmel corn. I eat your reddibles like four times a week I've slowed down on the smoking for athletic reasons And I've eaten more reddibles like to tomorrow night. I'll eat edibles Tuesday. I'll get fucked up Because I gotta go to bed. I gotta get up early at nine and fly out. So uh But I'm happy that you're still doing your thing anything you're adding to the lineup for the spring collection talk to me

Uh, yeah, I want to tell you about that, but I have a question for you actually is it just occurred to me Do you um medicaid before you perform? Before what? Before you do your stand-up. Oh, please. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Here's the thing though. Let's say like I couldn't eat You have like let's just for the people at home. You have a one cookie. That's a black rapper. I don't know what how much Yeah, it's um It's a your highest cookie and then you have a 100 milligram small bite And then you have a couple smaller bites after that. I could probably eat the 112

And a couple pretzels and get up there and rock the fucking room Rocket like you're doing different level in your head And then drive home go on stage go home and eat the other half a bag and drink coffee Drink fucking coffee and I start writing jokes about 12 30 and that's when I call Lee And torture Lee about chicks pissing in his mouth and how he's gonna make a million dollars. That's how high I get Lee knows Tell her Lee. How fucking high am I? I have three or four friends are like dog. I'll fucking hire you right now Yeah, he he I know when he calls me like between 12 and 1 that nothing good's happening because

He if it if it's two he's just getting off a stage or something But between between 12 and 1 is the night he didn't do comedy or not He did an early spot and he's just up like listening to music and smoking or flying like I'm just looking for no All I need it, you know, there's nights Listen, uh, I love I love the effects of medicating and I always have since a young man Especially when it comes to music Yeah, there's nothing like uh going through youtube and finding shit you haven't heard in a while like old Beatles and You know right there. It's time for a pretzel. You follow me. I find us

I find I found the Beatles on the roof the other day. I forgot that one I had like three five pretzels at three in the morning. I don't give a fuck. I'll eat those for breakfast Lee knows I'll kill those animals from so what's new in the world of uh, Anthony Dolores hit me. What's the spring collection? Well, we're we're trying to develop a candy actually I don't want to talk too much about it because it's really right right as early development stages But we're we're trying to do a candy that's going to be real high potency and really tasty Rather small and possibly if we can do it sugar-free and gluten-free and all that we will too

Um, but the main reason we're developing it is because we want to develop a cvd rich edible that's you know, fairly healthy and um Really packed with the good stuff because nobody's um Nobody's got the cvd rich Products out there like like we think that they should be out there There should be more of them. So and we haven't done that yet. So that's probably our next our next product Me, you know, I'm a fucking bull and I love marijuana smoking it. I love everything

You know, I get anxiety. I love it and I love eating it and not smoking it for a while and flying and getting fucked up on a plane And right now like a guy like myself or Lee we're looking to lose some weight We love your stuff and I know that you're I looked at the caloric intake Some of your stuff is two three points weight watcher style. It's really low. I was really in shock. Yeah Yeah, well there's because there's so much medicine packed in such a small amount of food. There's really Because sometimes people look at the nutrition facts. That's the whole bag You're really not supposed to eat the whole bag at once like the whole bag of Caramel corn or whole bag of pretzels. That's a lot of sodium or but it's not meant to be eaten like that

And the brownie bites are so small that there's not a ton of calories and the fat content's pretty low So, I mean we try to It's hard to balance all this stuff out. We want the the products to be Additionally potent, right and then we also want them to taste good And we want it to be healthy and it's hard to get all those elements in one product, you know, let alone a line and so we're Uh, we won't put out a product unless we can achieve all three of those at least to a certain degree, you know I know that you're up in northern california and I Between you and I I love living in southern california. I love what's going on down here with the movement

But somewhere in my heart, I feel that it's a little stronger up there Like people being more innovative up there as far as different edibles and different things And I was at the sands. I am probably a few weeks ago and somebody brought me a fucking little um You know, uh, what are those jolly ranchers? Not really a jolly ranch. It was uh, what's the chocolate ones? Oh, uh, I think that 175 fucking milligrams

Is it that she bet you I thought what I don't know what it was. It was a little What are the chiba chews their little boxes or something like that square things? Yeah, and they're very potent very potent. My god, you're talking about fucking potent You know, I didn't look at the caloric intake. I like to look at it so we could talk about it But that's what you're always I mean, we're all looking for like your cheese cracker. That's a fucking big bang for you Know that's big bang people want some people could could handle the smaller dough stuff. Lee doesn't like More than 50 milligrams. He gets fucking, you know Well, I have a question for you the last time I ate one of the things one of your things that joy gave me

um I hadn't eaten and it really it really went fast. What What what like what do you recommend like as far as eating because like it like I hadn't not eaten before that really It hit me fast and it hit me hard Well, what did you have exactly? Uh, you have to ask joy what I had. I know it's chocolate something I gave him uh, yeah the 112 I chopped it three ways Me him and his father and we they they were fucked up when I left here

His father hugged me and his central nervous system was No, no, no, let me explain something to you his central nervous system. Oh, I'm sorry. You're there Um, yeah, I'll let that and I haven't had a no his hold on one sec. Go ahead. Is it on your end or no? No, no, we haven't moved we haven't moved so Okay I can hear you know It's funny because I chopped it up and I chopped it up at a quarter to six By the time I left at 7 25 him and his dad were fucking gone

But the father went to hug me and I could feel his central nervous system was hugging me It wasn't even his hands. I could feel like his veins grabbing onto me and he goes. I'm sorry He even knew it. He fucking knew it. He's like dog. I'm in trouble I left him a box of Girl Scout cookies his father ate the whole fucking box. You understand me They were supposed to go to some steakhouse or some and we were supposed to go to the track I called the 11 and I knew Lee was on it. You know when you talk to somebody there on their stomach And they got their head in the pillow and they got water next to them and they pick up the phone They look at it and they're like, oh no, I got to talk to this guy

That's what it was when I called them. That's how fucking high he was and I knew it. I knew he was that Yeah, that's that's a lot of medicine if you got a Low tolerance and getting sick is no fun either Oh, that's a COD is tremendous. I think there was a little bit my phone for I took a swig of water and for some reason this is it hit my stomach. It just I uh, it just went up Well, one thing that's um, I don't know if you guys know it but a cvd can act as um Kind of like an antidote when you have a too much tc going in your system and you're you've got anxiety and you just

Feel really bad. What works as an antidote Smoke smoke cvd smoke like harlequin You know one of these cvd rich strains or or either cvd edible, you know, because that actually will balance it out What's a cvd fucking edible? Yeah Well, it would be an edible that was made with um, an oil extract or butter extract that is You know using a cvd rich strain like harlequin or one of these other strains That have you know that particular cannabinoid is is richer

Listen after we laugh do you eat a fucking edible from me and you're there sitting there in the room spinning and you're puking Do you think I could talk you into taking anything else from me ever again? It's not gonna happen It's not like you're doing blow and you eat the fucking orange peel and you come down Remember in the 80s if you did two lines of coke They said you want to come down get an orange and suck the peel fuck you that don't work That works once or twice and you're back to looking out a fucking window The fuck out of here. Okay. Well, I'll send you some medical journals on

We need some anecdotes like when Like when I killed yoshi and he was driving around in circles when I gave him like 80 of fucking cookies And he was driving around in circles right out was we did an anecdote to save you then because carls jr. Didn't work When carls jr. Don't fucking work when that don't take you know what works, but I'll tell you one time I OD'd on thc and I drank a bunch of water And I puked it out and the water was green and I went home and I was sick for two hours after that It was fucking green. I had sweat. I had sweat in my titties It was coming everywhere. I had to take all my clothes off in the car

I was down to my underwear and party socks I had the windows wide open and the air blasted and I oh my god. It was fucking horrible I even had to drive on channelless. Nobody would see me but fucking somebody saw me Well, yeah, I the hard part is when you're You're starting to lose the mating and You're feeling sick and all that I don't I don't like that I mean it's happened it happens all the time in the kitchen especially when we're developing new products because you're constantly taste testing things and you're You're working on the potency. You really don't know how strong you get this finished product tested and before you know it

You're like high off your ass and you're trying to like Develop these recipes and you can't even like see straight I'm gonna suddenly up there for a week on this vacation Oh, no To just go by you every day and be the taste tester Every day he'll sit there and see what he looks like in the beginning when he walks in And what he looks like when he walks out for five days, he's got to do it. That's his christmas present When am I gonna see you then if I don't see you on this trip? When will I see you?

Well, I was looking at your twist schedule. So I could like figure it out and get down there when you're around and I guess I could um, well, maybe maybe you and Your buddy can get together and tell me what what's a good time to come down and I'll try to shoot for that You know, you know what I'll talk to arie and I'll see if you could come down and we'll do a We'll have you on arie's live and the septic tank and we'll fuck around and we'll eat Get high right there on this spot. You know what I'm saying? It'll be like a beginning and end type stuff. How's that sound my love sounds fantastic

All right, tell these guys what web page to go on and only in california the rest of you cocksuckers just mind your business cover years What's the web page and only california and um, we certainly love getting new members But there's there's tons of dispensaries carrying our stuff. So if you ever have questions you can email info at onto the loris dot com and you can visit us at uh, onto the loris dot com Well follow us on twitter facebook all that stuff. Um, i'm gonna follow you on twitter I don't even know you on twitter anti the loris and if we ever End up in another state. We'll let you know Well, um, it'll be you know to be on twitter and everything but we'll let folks out there know because you did get a lot of emails after that last

That last talk we had. Yeah, no, no, no. I know because people were emailing me They love, you know, they love your stuff and there was a lot of people that had hit me saying they had tried your stuff And they liked it harry turned me on To the popcorn. So harry's a big fan. He gets it in hollywood somewhere. So You got fans down here you sexy savages. Don't forget about us I won't forget. I can't wait to see you next time. I'm down there. Okay. All right. Love you. Have a good weekend Thank you for calling me too. Take care. Bye All right, lisa how many um requests we have let's go make the milkshake

We're gonna put a little nice but this weed is strong Yeah, i love you. I know you're working tough and i know you i'm happy you took the time out To fucking do the podcast tonight. We want to do it tomorrow or tuesday night. You want to get some rest? Yeah, one We'll let them know tomorrow. See how you feel you're gonna take a little nap. They don't wash your pussy. Yeah They'll trim your little beard. You don't drink your little fucking green shake No, i have to i have to make it for tomorrow, but i haven't i've made it already had mine You're gonna have one before you leave the house tomorrow morning just a little bit

No, i fucking i get up and i like i have a first thing in the morning. You do I have a first thing when i get to work. Yeah I'm proud of you and i know the whole fucking uh church community is proud of you now when i get back I'm gonna do my thing. I'm gonna give you that commitment. All right. I'll let you try the juice tomorrow No, i don't want to try my own fucking juice. All right. I got my own problem I love you guys. I love you guys for watching us on sunday night to know we're ill prepared tonight a little bit But i'm stoned. I'm sucking. Sorry. It happens sometimes. All right We got my girl to call from anti the law school anti the law is calm

And see what's going on tomorrow night. We got a few people calling into the sharp motherfuckers A comedy writer. It's one of the best comedy writers i've met in this town So please uh nine o'clock again tomorrow night And then that's it for like six days. You won't see you cocksucker. So you know that right? Oh, yeah, I know Yeah, so i won't be seeing you guys, but we'll figure something out. I'm gonna surprise you motherfuckers We'll figure something out. That's it. We want to tell these cocksuckers Uh, check out my youtube videos. I i missed yesterday because i was out until like one in the morning But uh, I do the youtube videos for the uh, what were you till one?

I uh, well, no, I had to drive back to my work and then I got back here Get together cocksucker. What can I say? She came here first done the video then gone to bray. That's how you do things How how how many how many go from Beverly Hills? It's up here down to bray because you've made a commitment to these people. So you gotta fucking I'm gonna i'm doing one time. I'll be up early tomorrow. Don't forget go to brown paper tickets new Orleans Don't fuck around. There's only 160 when I call Lydia they leave We don't have like 42 left or somebody that don't fuck around Don't make me cry to me and say joey. I didn't know what the fuck you knew

You knew my man dan ceviche over at the firehouse. They were all waiting I got some people waiting. They got heavy duty artillery. We got alligators. We got Puerto rican chicks We got the whole fucking thing happening down there at the lot new it either You can buy it on your phone. You're listening to this. That's right. I'm brown paper tickets dot com lot new it theater march 8th and 10 at 10 o'clock and march 10th Eight o'clock. That's how we do it a friday and a fucking sunday show because i'm off to set on monday morning That's it. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm saying. I love you guys league What music you got funk with joey tonight? Do you want to listen to killing yourself deliver again? Sure put a little sabbaton

Get this motherfucking party started late night. If you're on the east coast, I love you for staying up You know i'm saying fuck it Fuck it. You're up. You might as well smoke a number and go down to the cocktail bar What time is it's one o'clock in the moon? It's early tonight. It's just getting started if you're in arizona like jr Whatever don't forget if you need shirts hoodies the fucking long sleeve shirts the commemorative flying jude going like hotcakes Go on joey dears dot net get yourself a little shirt supports the podcast of flying jude Don't forget if you're starting an exercise program before you do anything go to the doctor If you're over like 28 and you've been doing blow and eating ass for the last 10 years

You just woke up and you want to get healthy go to the doctor first do a blood test then Go to onyx.com. See what they got on there. What works for you the hand protein with the high fiber delicious The fucking uh immune the shroom tech tremendous and then get sick again I'm back on it and the uh the bone tech was strong. I gave it I gave it a rest for 30 days and now when I come back I'll go right back on it because I was on it for 60 straight That's how I like to mess them around just for you. It's like tryptophan You don't no matter how much tryptophan you put them eventually you'll stop sleeping because your body stocks up on it Yeah, so thank you very much cocksucker. That's how we wrote here the special edition of the church of what's happening now

My friend couldn't call it 10 o'clock, but fuck it next time I want to give a shout out to all you guys For backing me up all the time in my little flying jude buddy here. At least say we love you. Stay black You You