Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #031 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint.... Today, we talk about accusations This episode is brought to you DraftKings, ExpressVPN...... Go to https://www.draftkings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.expressvpn.com/joey And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint

Greetings from podcastville. It's Monday the 18th of January. Uncle Joey's joint is brought to you by motherfucking DraftKings. If there's a week to place a bet, this is the week. You got my man Dustin Poirier against the Irish fucking mallet of debt. Connor McGregor, they stepped back into the ring Saturday night. Now, if you want a piece of history, go to DraftKings. Why? Because they're the official betting partner of the UFC. And this weekend, they got a deal that no one else could match. Are you ready for this? Just for UFC 257. Don't get carried away. It's your shot at turning one dollar into 257 dollars. That's right. You're like, Joey, how can I pick up the 257? Here we go. You bet a dollar McGregor to win by knockout in the first round. And if he does, you're cashing in 257. You bet a little,

you win a lot. You know how we do it at DraftKings. But don't get distracted. Don't get distracted. Don't get distracted because we're still in the middle of NBA playoffs next weekend, and NBA basketball at night. So head to DraftKings right now. Today, it's Monday. Let's get the party started, right? You already fucked up three Mondays in January. You're not going to fuck up this Monday. Go to DraftKings and download the sportsbook app right now. Use promo code Joey. This is what you're going to do. You're going to sign up to turn one dollar into 257 dollars if McGregor wins by first round knockout. Place your bet, watch the fight, put up your feet, smoke a number, have mama lick your balls. But like I said, you got NBA and you got the NFL

playoffs next weekend. I can walk you through how you can fucking walk away. You got that 257 and you got four NFL games. Who's better than you? Four or two? Two, four? Who gives a fuck? You're making money, cocksucker. So if you haven't tried DraftKings yet, today's your lucky day. Download the DraftKings sports app now. Use promo code Joey when you sign up for 157 dollars to win if McGregor wins by first round knockout. Place your bet, watch the fight, relax. That's code Joey for new players to get 257 dollars if McGregor wins by first round knockout. For a limited time only at DraftKings. But hey, the party starts tonight, Monday night. TNT got three fucking games on tonight. One of them's got a line that's so fucking soft, anybody can see through it. Before you

download the app, do me a favor. This is the part the lawyers make me say. You got to be 21, cocksucker. Go draw a picture. Indiana, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Colorado, restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash sportsbook for details. You got a gambling problem? Let's take care that there's help call 1-800-GAMBLER and if you're in Indiana call 1-809 with it. But if you got no fucking problems, let's go cocksuckers. It's time to download this DraftKings sports app. Use code Joey and cash in on this deal and this is Saturday. I'm going to make you a G-note before fucking Saturday and it starts tonight with three games on TNT. The joint is also brought to you by ExpressVPN. Listen, I think by now you've already seen everything on fucking Netflix,

even the Spanish shit. But with ExpressVPN, you can trick the computer into thinking you're in a different country and you'll be able to watch just about anything in the fucking world. I think it's called the dark web. You already know of VPN will protect your privacy online, but it's taken my TV watching game to the next level. My wife uses it all the fucking time. She likes all those English movies, unlock movies and TV shows that are only available in other countries. And if it works on any service in over 100 countries, Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, BBC, you name it. Listen, like I said, my wife watches all those international shows. She fucking lives with VPN. She loves it. ExpressVPN is ridiculously fast. It streams in HD. There's no fucking buffering. What else

do you need here? Use my special link right now. The joint expressvpn.com slash joey. Again, expressvpn.com slash joey. And you get an entire three months for free. An extra three months for free. Support the joint, watch what you want and protect your privacy, which is the most important thing at expressvpn.com slash joey. So right now, you just download the DraftKings app. Now go download the expressvpn.com slash joey and watch fucking horror movies, watch fucking midgets getting their fingers cut off. You can watch whatever the fuck you watch. Want to watch? Go to expressvpn.com slash joey. I want to thank ExpressVPN and I want to thank DraftKings. Let's get this party started, you bad motherfuckers. It's Monday morning, a beautiful day to be alive.

Hey, look who it is. What's happening? Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Monday morning, Uncle Joey here, feeling tip top. Magoo, thank you for all the well wishes and everybody checking in on their knee. It's doing great, man. I'm way ahead of schedule. I actually walked up steps. I got a 90 degree angle on my bend. I've been having PT, you know, every night I get a call. Hello, is this Mr. Diaz? We will be over tomorrow at 10 o'clock. They come over, they walk me, they beat me to death. I'm doing really well on the medication guys between CBD lion, the Tylenol 650 milligrams, and the oxys they gave me. I fucking alternate them around.

And you know what? I was a little panicking because I was running out of them because they told me to take two every fucking six hours. But I was getting too fucked up. And I was, I was getting too fucked up that they lower my blood pressure, those things. Tuesday morning, thank God, my wife came down the middle of the night to check on me. She fucking woke me up, just like you're sweating up a storm. I had to take off my sweatshirt, take off my t-shirt, and she checked my blood pressure. She had to give me like fucking salted daffy to bring me back up again. So I was like, you know what, they get, they sent me new prescriptions and I've been using, the only time I really use the oxys, you know what you need them for at night,

because you don't want to wake up at four in the morning to pee and be in that type of pain. You'll never fucking fall asleep again. So I've been all, like I said, I've been doing it. I've been doing my own pain management. So I rub some CBD on, I take some CBD gummies in the daytime. I had two boxes of them. I might as well start eating those motherfuckers. They're 10 calories a piece. They've been great in the daytime. Then at night, I use the tincture, which gives me a little bit more. I could pump in 5,000 milligrams under the tongue. I got some great play with tincture. That fucking tastes great. So that was my main concern going into the surgery. I know everybody's concerned. Is he going to go off the fucking reservation with the pain medication?

Thank God I'm not a fan. And I knew that. I pretty much tape it off. I started taping off on Friday. So it's fucking Monday. I feel great that irkiness you get from Norcos, like all that little weird feeling if you're living in the Twilight Zone. No, I'm not agitated. Yeah, you could tell I'm not agitated. I've been fucking great. I've been, listen, man, I'm 58. I don't expect, what expect to be tap dancing the next fucking day? I don't expect that at all. It's going to be some hard fucking work. I got, today's my last fucking home therapy session this afternoon. This afternoon, I get my stitches taken out. And Wednesday, I started my buddy's fucking physical therapy place. So I'm going away from one place right to the other. You know, I didn't Google this surgery. I

usually Google everything, you know, I'm a half a fag. But I learned the hard way when my wife was having a baby. I Googled women having babies at 43. And holy fuck, it was the worst pregnancy of my life, because I basically thought she was going to fucking die on the table. So I said, you know what, if I read anything about this knee surgery, before I fucking have the surgery, guess what's going to happen? I'm going to fucking cancel it because I'll get too scared. So I think Tuesday, Wednesday, I started Googling, and I went to WebMD, what to expect from me in knee surgery, recovery time, exercises, and I've been taken to fucking seriously. So right now, in my mind, like in my mind, I still have a little pain, I still walk funny, I need to fucking stroll a little walk,

the whole thing, the crutches, but in like every in their mind, I'm fucking way ahead of schedule. So that makes me feel fucking great. So for you guys wondering, thank you for all your support with the knee stuff. Last week, we talked about accusations about what it takes to accuse somebody and what it feels like when you get accused. I really, really thought about it all week. It's been something that's been on my mind for almost a year. So it's all this shit started. How does an accusation start? You know, how do you get it confirmed? You know, with somebody, you know, I called my girlfriend when I got home, that's not good enough. You know, that's just not fucking good enough. You know,

that's just so many fucking things. When the other, dear friend that comes over here a lot and sits with me at night and watches football, I mean, when I talk about what dear friends, I'm talking about, let's say I go back with him when I'm 13. And in fact, he gave me Led Zeppelin the same with the Oldman Brothers Live and the Film War on A-Track, like it was all. It was somebody's different A-Track and he recorded two albums over it, you know, like two albums over the A-Track. So he gave me that when I was like 13. So, you know, for years I would see him and go, you're the motherfucker. But he, him and I were tight, tight friends. When I was 13, he would, you know, he was, I think he's 60 now. So we started hanging out when I was about 13.

You know, he had two younger brothers and I hung up by his house. And as I got older, he got his driver's license and he was always a clean guy, you know, he always was going to be a fucking cop. But he had a friend that dealt with, he wasn't one of those guys that was you know, uptight about being a cop. He just, he just wanted to obey the law, you know. And he turned me on to a guy that me and him ended up being good friends and selling weed for years and whatever. That doesn't matter. But the other night, Rao came over and as he was leaving, he picked up a picture of Anthony Balzano. I don't know if you guys, I do the album of the week on Patreon. And I did a segment about Kiss and I actually showed

a picture of a friend of mine who had died in the eighth grade. I had gotten this picture from his dad before his dad died about five years ago. And I got the picture about 20 years ago. And I, at first, I started using it in my wallet because he was my best friend. And I figured if I had my best friend that close to me, but I didn't want to lose my wallet. And I'd lose that picture and I never knew. So I just left it at home. And I did like an altar for him and all my other buddies. And the other night I had the picture of him out and Joe Rao was leaving and his wife was here and my wife was downstairs in the basement. And Joe Rao picked up the picture of Anthony and he looks at my wife and he goes, look how good looking your husband was in the eighth grade. And I go,

sorry, but that's Anthony. He goes, that's amazing. I forgot how much you guys looked alike. Like, we were like fucking twins when we were kids. They called us both pep and nose, you know, because we both had big noses and we were skinny. He would lose his mind when you call them pep and nose. Me, I didn't even give a fuck. They had been calling me spik for two years prior. Pep and nose was a fucking break, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, who gives a fuck about pep and nose? You just been calling me spik for two years. So I didn't give a fuck. Him and I were really good friends. And, you know, he died in the eighth grade. It really took a chunk out of who I was till this day. I still think a lot about Anthony, 40 fucking eighth grade, you know,

May of 78, this fucking kid died. But one thing Joe said to my wife, you know, Joe was like, wow, now I remember how much you guys look alike. And one thing Joe was saying, he goes, one thing I remember about you guys, you guys were fucking tight. Like he goes, you guys had a fucking huge crew down there. Guys, when I, I thought when I lived on 48th street, I had like a rolling tough crew. When I moved North Bergen in 73, it took me a couple years to go out. But once I went out, I attracted a crew that we were some hard hitting little fucking kids who weren't bad kids. Big difference. We were just hard hitting kids. We played everything. We played in the woods. We played, we just did everything there was to do. We hustled. We went down to the train tracks

this is before the metal ends was even built. And we used to cut fucking punks and selling door to door punks of sticks that you light on fire and it gets rid of mosquitoes and shit. It's like that mosquito spray only got a lot of them on fire and shit. I mean, we just did crazy things, you know, we were robbing trains. That was a year there. Why didn't even know what the fuck I was. I just went to martial arts and hung out with these kids. But the one thing did stand. I don't know how many of us there were just off the top of my head. Myself, Dominic Speciale, Michael Speciale, Valentin Farrell. This was just on my block. Then on Charles Court, you had Sabatino, Dean Altman. You had the four brothers that the Balzanos beat up the first time with the sister.

You had Prongay, the two guys, the two kids who the father was the Iceman's assistant. You had Alona Mertens. You had the fucking Arezes. I mean, you had so many kids. I forget what this Italian kid's name was. I thought he was a fucking psychic and my mother wanted me to kill him because he gave my mother the wrong information on the basketball game one time. You know, you just had so many fucking kids and we lived and died for one another. We were out there all day playing. And those girls, Iceman and those girls, we were all tight. In fact, till today, it's night this we're talking about running with somebody in 76-75. Today, I still talk to Lisa, Gina, Marjorie, Grace Savoyer. I still talk to so many girls from that area because we were so tight that

Joanne Kelly. There was no sex. We were kids. We were kids. The other thing we did that was wrong was we played Buck Buck. I don't know if you guys know what Buck Buck is. Buck Buck is some guy gets against a wall and then some guy holds on to his waist with his head going that way and then everybody holds each other's waist and you create like a human chain. So let's say you have eight people bent over like they're going to take it in the ass. I don't know if you've ever seen this game. So it's eight people bent over like they're going to take it in the ass holding on to each other with a guy standing on the wall. He's called the pillow. And then let's say you have six people on a team. They have a team of seven. Okay. So it's seven people against six bent

over because the seventh guy is the pillow. He's holding and he's coaching. He's telling you, hold on, Mike. Don't bust your fuck because what people usually do. So what you do is you take a running jump. You come running like 20 fucking like 20 feet. You take a running jump and then there's one guy bent over. You push off of him and you fly into the air until you land on somebody. So let's say our goal is to land on Mike. We know Mike has bad knees. Our plan is listen. Everybody land on Mike. Mike can't hold all this up. So then boom, boom, we land on Mike. The next guy goes, he lands on me. Now I got like three guys on top of me. I'm punching Mike. I'm squeezing Mike's ears. Mike's like, I don't mind people on top of me. But why are people poking

my eyes out and all this shit? We were kids who were really poking each other's eyes out. We were just like smacking each other and shit like there's no big fucking deal. So this is the only thing we did. Then the girls got involved. Once the girls were like, we want to play. Well, like girls, I hope you know what we're going into because your tits are going to be squeezed all that shit. And like, as long as you're not rough with us, we don't give a fuck. I think the girls played with us like two or three times and one day they got together and said, fuck you guys. You guys, I think we ripped off a girl's tip. We almost ripped off a tip because you have to land on that. They also had a, so here are these girls playing buck buck. And now they're bent over,

holding on to another girl and men are landing on top of them and we have to break the chain. So all we would do, the worst thing we would do to those girls in those days was like pull their hair and they'd be like, who's the fucking faggot that's pulling my hair? When I get out of this, I'm going to fucking kill you fucking queer and all that. We were just, you know, we were just, that's the worst thing we did to those girls. If we bought a four pack of wine coolers, they got beers. If we bought beers, they got beers. If we had weed, wait, do you think I would still talk to Lisa, Gina, Marjorie and Grace? If we weren't tight with those girls growing up, we were super tight with them. Whatever we did at man, when we went over like the Hill, the Union

City and Western York, we would always take us, take them with them and we'd watch their fucking back. We had a girl, Kathy, God rest her soul. I was tight with, I mean, we were all fucking tight. Okay. I moved to McKinley in 73. I go to Sacred Heart School for boys, but I don't actually go to McKinley until sixth grade comes. Now, I don't have to tell you how I felt first day of school. I knew some people, but most importantly, I knew Anthony already. So I knew nobody was going to fuck with me. Anthony was in the class, I was in the sixth grade, Anthony was in the fifth grade. Anthony had a brother who wasn't a sixth grade named Jimmy. I was tight with him too, and he had a brother in the eighth grade named political Pete.

I was tight with him too, but I was, and he had a brother older than him, Big Frank. I was tight with him too, but my main dog was Anthony. Me and Anthony were together every day. Me and Anthony were all doing, already doing like little scams, like betting. We would like, I don't know, we didn't do nothing big time. We'd rob like a bag of concrete. We were just kids. We were just too faggy fucking kids. I loved him daily. He loved me. And brother, we were together every day. It was two things. When I walked home from school, he lived the block still north from me. We had two options. Either I would go to his house, or I would wait at the bottom of my corner, and he would walk towards me, and we would go to Charles Court or Liberty Avenue,

or wherever we were going to fucking play, or 38th Street Court. 38th Street Court already was dominated by older kids. There was like 12 of us, 10 of us, but we didn't want to mess with the kids at the park. Because they were older, they were drinking already, they would fucking, they wouldn't bully us. They would just torture us, make us fucking play basketball with them and foul us and all this shit. No big fucking deal. All right, to make a long story short, I, in the seventh grade, I finished my sixth grade year, and I go to the seventh grade, and I had a teacher named Earl Kingwell. Earl Kingwell was a very, very good teacher. He was a scumbag, but looking at Earl Kingwell today, the reason I like reading is because Earl. Earl was a little heavy with his hands,

he smacked a few students, and he got beat up for it. There's a thousand stories I can talk about Earl, but this ain't about Earl today. Earl was rough on me in the seventh grade. I don't know what it was. I'm not saying he was, I think he was heavy with me because he saw the potential in me. He saw I wasn't a stupid kid. And going into the seventh grade, I had no problems with school at all. Never had a problem with school. But then something happened. It's little boys in the seventh and eighth grade. I fell in love. I fell in love with this girl. I mean, I, I mean, just, I don't know how it happened. I never had interesting girls. I mean, I thought girls were always beautiful. I thought about the day I would like go on a date and you know, shit like that. But at that time,

I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or nothing. I hung out with this kid. His name was Albie. We were both speed demons. You know, our connection was we rode bicycles and you know, we rode motorcycles. And at night, we'd all walk up the hill. Eddie Lomenka, Mario Arias, Albie, just all of us went to motorcycles. We were just innocent stupid kids. Anthony, Frankie, Pete Balzano, we were into motorcycles. And every night we'd walk up 38. That's how we ended our night. After all the basketball, all the football, all the fucking, you know, running up and down hills at night, we'd meet and instead of getting high those days, we'd walk up 38th street to Carvel. And we get a cone or a chocolate shake. I'm talking about 10, 12 of us. And then we go

to a Kawasaki dealer. That was a Kawasaki dealer. I'm 39th and Kenny Boulevard. And then we basically go to the jerk off all over each other. You know what I'm saying? Like, someday I'm going to have that bike, you know, we're not going to get shit. None of us are going to buy shit. I had the ability to buy shit because that would just make money at my mother's bar. At the time, I probably had like a YZ80, not Kawasaki, I think Zazuki made a YZ80. Don't quote me on this or tweet me if you do know the exact ones. It doesn't matter. Again, we were all very tight. And then one thing happened one day. Boom. I go to Albie's house and he's got the cutest sister in the world. She's in the seventh grade. She's in the other class. And I don't know. I don't know. I just,

I think like maybe January or February, we saw Gorola skating on Sundays. Like a bunch of fags at the Paramus Mall. We would all get together and go roller skating. Kids, I did it all. You know, I don't want you to think that I did it all. 10, 12, 15 of us, a parent, two, three cars, you know, one parent had a station wagon or whatever. And I just kind of took a liking to her. And I drew up the fucking mustard. You know, I drew up, I got like flowers one day. And I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. And she said she had to talk to her family. I was like, what the fuck did I get myself involved into? She talked to her family. Her family said, yes, you could be her boyfriend. You could start by doing little things, going to the movie theaters

and taking the grandmother, which I've talked about how much I fucking hate it to this day. It was the only time I did it with, it was the only woman I did it with. And I felt just fucking like a fag. But it was old Cuban tradition. So I took a, I don't know, I wish I remembered what stupid war went to see. And the grandmother came, I think I took it to like two or three movies and the grandmother came. And then since I was friends with the brother, I was allowed to go over to the house. And the deal was this, we were going to just kiss and make out no sex. And then June before the eighth grade announced that we were a couple. You know, right away, I don't know, I felt something weird. Why do we have to hide and all

this shit? You know, you already went to your family and told them they kind of like giggled at us. We were too young. You know, she was into Donnie and Marie. And on Friday nights, I would go over there and watch Donnie and Marie. And then I smartened up and I'm like, fuck you, Donnie and Marie. I'm staying at home and watching Red Fox, Sanford and Son and fucking the show with pretty friends. I forget what the name is. Chico and the man, you know. Anyway, none of this really matters. I'm just giving you background on what happened. So June of whatever year that was comes and she comes to me and says, you know, I've been thinking about it. I don't think I'm ready to have a boyfriend yet. And I'm heartbroken. I was hard. I was

never in love with a girl before. I'm fucking heartbroken. I fucking, you know, fall to pieces like Velvet Revolver. I just, you know, I don't know how to take it. But what had also happened throughout the year was that I had fallen in love with her so much that I had just, I didn't do anything else. I didn't go to karate. I didn't work on my math. I didn't work on my geography. I didn't work on a lot of things. I barely read. I was in love. I was in love, head over heels. What do you want, man? I was a stupid romantic. And in the meantime, my grades slipped. My mom didn't know. Not only did she not, wasn't going to date me, but I also had to go to the summer school. That didn't stop me. If you guys know anything about me, that didn't stop me.

I, you know, got on my hands and knees and prayed to her that she would fucking, you know, please Greek and Sydupian, my girlfriend, blah, blah, blah. And we still messed around. Not, we had never had sex. Let's get that straight. We kissed and I sucked the titties maybe. And that was it. One day she really looked at me and said, look, I don't, because we got caught playing hooky and my mother went off on her. And it was just a lot for both families. She didn't like my mother called her a whore and shit in Spanish. My mother called our mother a whore. It was just not bueno for everybody here. So we decided just to break up. We're like, listen, this is causing too much problem. I immediately was heartbroken. I think I stayed home for a week. And I had to

reprioritize. Not only that, I failed summer school. I didn't fail summer school. I played hooky from summer school to be with her. And I thought that Carmine could cover it up and help me out. I ended up getting fucking left back. You have no idea how bad I feel. Listen to all these words I'm telling you, because you're going to have to make a decision at the end of this. I got left back. So now I got left back. I got no girlfriend. My friends are laughing at me behind my back. Not Anthony. I had tight friends and I was like, hey, man, that happens. Fuck that shit. You give another girlfriend. And I'm like, I don't want no other girlfriend. I want Nicky. I'm a fucking half a fag. I'm a Catholic kid.

At that time, I hadn't been in a couple fights, but I really believed I would never ever do anything. At that time, I just didn't have it. I didn't have any anger in my heart or anything like that. So I sucked it up, guys. I went to summer school. I got thrown out for attendance. And then I realized that I was going to get left back anyway. I took my lumps. I avoided going to Charles Court. You know, I said that said I can't go to Charles Court for a while, because I'm too in love with it. I want to get over and I dove into basketball, dove into basketball, head fucking first, going into seventh grade, my seventh grade, my second time. That's all I had. I wanted to play basketball. I love going to karate. I redove myself into karate. And I fucking

rededicated myself to the books. I was back. I had this lotion, the eighth grade. You know, I went in there and talked to her. She spoke to me and told me, you know, that we'll be watching you if you fall behind and have any problems. This doesn't have nothing to do with it. But I'm fine. I get over her. I'm playing basketball. I'm back in the groove of things. Don't get me wrong. It must have taken me 90 days to get over, you know. Maybe let's say October, November, I'm over. I see her every day at school. You know, we kind of talk. And I was friends with her brother. So you know what, man? I had to push it aside. At that early age, in the seventh grade, the second time, I had to learn that,

you know, this is part of breaking up with people. You have to move on. And that's it. So we immediately became friends. You know, she was a cheerleader on the basketball team. There was no getting away from her. You know, we just became friends again. And this time we were just friends. She was becoming a beautiful girl in the eighth grade. In the seventh grade, I still wasn't really dating. That had taken the fucking wind out of myself. I did become a fan of like, you know, classic love songs, you know. Baby, come back. Any kind of fool could see there was something or that type of pop or that shit I became a fan of. And I dedicated her. But somewhere along the line, I just got over her. I got so involved in basketball. You know, I wanted our

teams to be so good. I got so involved with hanging out with Anthony and this family and Dominic Special. You know what, Nicky went away, like whatever. So the winter came. The winter came and went and then the spring came, right? What comes after the winter? The spring, right? So the spring comes. At this time, I'm still a speed demon. You know, I got a motorcycle. I've got a 10 speed. I've got one of those bikes that just you go like this, the sissy bar, whatever the fuck, and the high thing. And I'll be right around like those fucking dudes you see on like all the gang movies and shit. Like my Debo bike. I had like a Debo bike, right? Debo died, right? Debo, the guy from Friday. Let me get a bike. I had a couple

different bikes. Turns out the kid next door to me, Valentin Ferro, was a tremendous. And I mean, again, another nice, sweet kid. He didn't even know what he was doing, but he just like working on bikes. You could bring him a bicycle and he would fucking take the whole thing apart. I mean, he was brilliant. He knew shit that I didn't even think and know and he could take the insides of a fucking rim apart and tell you where the fucking ball bearings were slipping. And I mean, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? But just learning with him and sitting with him, I learned little things. He would say, I'm not just going to do it to you for free. You're going to have to meet him with the same fucking age. He would be fucking way ahead of me, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he would fix up these bicycles between you and me, the gizzies, Doug Jimenez, all these kids were stealing bicycles, and they would bring them to give an address. And we'd buy them, you know, three, four hours, $10, $5. And then our goal was for Valentin to do work on them. And we'd take them up to Union City and sell them. That was our little scam at the side, me, Anthony, Valentin, all of us. That was our little scam. So I think Charlie Gizzie and Doug Jimenez brought us three bikes a week. And we'd redo, you know, I'd go buy a can of primer spray paint. You had to take the vid number off the bicycle. So you either had a, we had a fucking, oh my God, it's guys, you know, it didn't, it wasn't a vid number, it was like a 10-digit identification number. Like when you

first bought a bicycle those days, if you were a decent kid, you used to have to go down to a police station and get the bicycle registered. I don't know if you know this. If you got a view, back when people were decent and things were decent, as soon as you got a bicycle, you were instructed to go to the police station. Now fucking much times have changed. You were instructed to go to the police station and fucking register your name and they would give you like a sticker. Don't steal this bike. Fuck you. Those are the first ones you stole, you know, because people felt secure with the sticker. Like it was like a restraining order. Like it's, he's not going to hit me. Next thing you know, your OJ's wife on the concrete floor, right? No, it's the truth because people

think, oh, I got a restraining order. I'm safe. Yeah. See how many people have died with restraining orders? Don't believe that. But all these kids believed that they had the fucking if they had this little gold sticker from North Bergen police department or West New York police department or whatever police department your bike wasn't going to get stolen. You were done. We had the fucking stuff to take the fucking sticker off and then we, Valentin figured out some chemical to take the adhesive off so you wouldn't still see the sticker. Then he would sand it down and then there was a kid next to him, Clemens. That family had fleas. Like they all had, what do you call that shit? When everybody has to have a crew cut? Lice? Lice. They all had lice. So you

had to like fucking stay, we got a social distance from him 50 fucking years ago. I swear to kid that Clemens, everybody had lice. It was well known in the neighborhood. In fact, the white kids would tell the other white kids, Hey, Clemito, que te pillo. That means that he's got bugs. Even the white kids learn how to speak Spanish to code other white kids about the Clemens's. And the Clemens's were a nice family. But Michael Clemens was the shit when it came to a bicycle. And so was Valentin Farrell. So they could whip up a bicycle within two fucking days. A bicycle, wouldn't it? You could bring it. You could bring a fucking microscope. I don't give a fuck. You still couldn't tell that was your fucking bicycle. That's how good these two fucking morons were at doing bicycles.

So I lived right next door to them. I was neighbors with Valentin Farrell. And next to Valentin Farrell was Michael Clemens. So every time my garage door would open, I'm exaggerating here. Three days a week, I would have either Michael Clemens or Valentin. They would already be outside with the bicycle upside down. You ever see those guys with bicycles upside down, and they're spinning it and they're putting fucking oil on the thing. Dog, every time I went out of the house, let's fucking just for the chase, just for the clarity. Let's just assume they did it four times a week. So every time I would go out, I'd go, wow, you got a new bike, and he would fucking be going, look at these rims. And you would hear it spinning

and his shirt would have oil on it, because you put oil like three in one oil. And when you spin it, the shirt would, he would have like a street go from the bicycle, from the fucking, all his shirts had the same fucking streak on it from the oil. So, you know, every time I go out, he'd go, Cokes, what are you doing? I go nothing, he'd go, Cokes, take this bike for a ride. When he, when they tell you to take a bike for a ride, that didn't mean to go to the top of the fucking hill and come all the way down 90 miles an hour. That was to ride sitting down, right under control, to ride the bike sitting down just to see how it felt. And then you stood up, and you pedaled, you know, and then you brought the bike back and you go down and it felt pretty

good. And then he'd have like three of us try it. Like he was, you know, me, Michael and Dominic, Anthony, he'd have three of us try the fucking bicycle. I got on the bicycle one day, and I come out one day, and he's got a bicycle, he's got a 10 speed, a regular silver 10 speed. He had just finished painting it. It was silver with black tape on the handlebars. It was like an English racer, like the long thing like that, something that we had never seen before. At that time, we were still into these fucking things, you know. He had an English racer and it was a black, nice seat with black electrical tape on the handlebars. He put silver caps at the end. I mean, Valentino was a bad motherfucking, and he spray painted the bike silver. I didn't think twice of

it. I come out, Valentino, what's happening? Mr. Otino was out there. What's going on? Otino, Puerto Rican Charlie, whatever, the Puerto Rican fag, I told you, the Puerto Rican Nelson was out there. I come out, and I'm not thinking anything. He goes, Joey, Coco, you want to take I already, I was taking my bike out. He goes, no, no, no, no, I want you to take this bike out, see what you think. I take the fucking bike, and I go for a ride. I come back, he goes, what do you think? I go, I dig the fucking bike, but I think there's something wrong with the handlebars. He gets the big wrench, and he fucking whatever. He goes, take it again. I go, okay, I take the ride, I go downhill, and I make a left this time, and I can see again that when

I made the left, there was some hesitation in the steering. So I go, let me keep going. I go, I go, it was 38th Street Park, given that terrace, Charles Court, then Liberty Avenue. All the action was on Charles Court. Liberty had a little bit of action for kids, Vantage X, Phillips, Vinnie Neglia, Vinnie Warhead, not really, the Cannellas, but everybody would meet in the middle in Charles Court. So I take my bike, I go to Charles Court, again, I need to do another left. When I make the fucking left up that block again, I see there's something wrong with the bike. I hear kids playing, I go to the top of the block, it's Charles Court, there's 16 kids out there, girls, you know, and they always were doing something, you know, fucking stickball or

buck buck or hide the fucking kick the can, they were always doing something. So I put the bike down without thinking anything of it. And now Charles Court is a culter sack with a middle, in the middle is an island that has two houses on it, one facing that way and one facing the other way. No big deal. I go up the corner here and I'm on this side, let's pretend this is the island, it comes all the way down, and then this is where it leads off back to the streets to, and you go over to either the park or whatever, but it was basically a culter sack with a little island. And it was such a big block that three sets of kids could be playing on it, and nobody would know. I can have a set of kids at three o'clock, which was usually the case, the dopsons,

the ropsons lived at one o'clock, Sabatino lived at 12 o'clock, there was kids that lived next to him, I said them before, the ones that were the Iceman's friend's son, and then there was Alona Mertens and the Arezes that went down this block here. Okay, so you could have 20 kids playing at once. Nikki was the girl that I dated that I was in love with, that now I was over with, like I was, she had gone her way, and I had gone my way. We were still dear friends, her brother was still part of our little bike crew. I don't think her brother was there that day, I think her brother was riding motorcycles with Frank, and we were on the black because Albie was a year or two older than me. I was the same age as Nikki, now that we have gotten that back, we were still the

same age, she was just in the eighth grade, now in the seventh grade. We had a cool relationship, obviously we played basketball, I played basketball, she was my cheerleader, nothing bad happened. We got along, we went to the movies together, we got slices of pizza together, our seventh grade year, obviously we went 0 and 7, it was the worst season of our school's fucking life, so boom, no big fucking deal, everything was cool, we're playing, it's gotta be April, March, April around there, because it was still beautiful, it was a beautiful day out, and I don't know what we're playing, you know, I love the lighting, I don't know what we're playing, and I, somebody else, Cokes were going for a bike ride, Nikki's taking your bike, so I'm on the other side, I'm on by

Sabatino, and I go, what the fuck are you saying, and he goes, we're going for a bike ride, Nikki's taking your bike, I go, no, because the bike, the handlebar was loose, so instead of me chasing them that way, I tried to cut them off the long way, the, no, it wasn't even along the way, it was the same distance, I tried to cut them off at the bottom before they got to Union Turnbike, that's the main street to go back and forth, my job was to, I was gonna cut her off and go, Nikki, be careful, all I wanted to do was to tell her that the bike was off, okay, that's it, just before you get on that bike, Mike, the fucking steering wheel is off, don't come crying to me, you know, I know how to handle it, I know I've been riding these fucked up bikes forever,

but I don't know what she's thinking, you know, we all rode bikes together, but still, let's just be, what, let's just be safe and sorry, as I'm running for them, they think that, you know how people run away from you when you're a kid, like, oh, he's coming again, boo, and whatever, so I'm running towards her and Sabatino and whoever else is on the bike, and as I run towards her, she looks up at me and sure enough, she's gonna make a right, the thing gets stuck and right, well feet from me, I see the bike twist, and I just see her go over the handlebar and I see the bike land on top of her, guys, she fucking goes over the handlebar, the bike lands on top of her, she actually gets up and looks around and we're like, are you okay,

and then after she said, yeah, we kind of fucking giggled, we're kids, we're like, that was a tremendous fall, you know how kids would, this is what kids would do, that's a great fall, holy shit, are you okay, so we picked her up, we got her up, we, you know, she was fine, she got back on the bike, I wasn't chasing you to not let you know, I was chasing you to tell you that the handlebar was fucked up, this is what I was chasing you for, I wasn't chasing because I didn't want you riding the bike, I don't give a fuck if you ride the bike, nothing happened, everybody witnessed what I witnessed, everybody that was on those bikes, let's say at that time there were six kids on that bike, Nikki was number seven, I was number eight, eight of us witnessed what happened, as a matter of fact,

after she fell and the bike landed on top of her was when all of us got there with the bikes, we all missed the fall by five seconds, and we're like, are you okay, she was looking around and then we're like, what the fuck Nikki, and that's when everybody started giggling in the circle, we picked her up, took her home, I never thought nothing of it, I never thought nothing of it, next day I go to fucking school, I fucking get into my seventh grade fucking classroom that I got left back in Barone was my teacher, as a matter of fact, she was in the eighth grade, I was in the seventh grade, and Mr. Brown pulls me out of the hallway and he goes, did you hear about your girlfriend, and I go, no, I don't have a girlfriend, he goes, you know what I'm talking about,

Nikki Arisa, did you hear about it, and I go, no, what happened, and she goes, she's in critical condition in the hospital, she had a blood clot in the middle of the night, they had a ticket to the hospital, emergency blood clot, and she's on life support, she's gonna fucking die, and everything in me fucking stopped, I mean, I love that girl, I was over her, but I loved her the same way I love Kate Quigley today, the same way I love Felicia, I learned at an early age that you can't fuck everybody, that's why I still talk to Gina, that's why I still talk to Lisa Messina, that's why I still talk to all those girls, because at an early age I realized that you can't fuck everybody, you gotta have females as your friends, they enhance

your life, I felt really bad about the Nikki thing when they told me in school that morning, so right from school, I went right to the fucking house, knocked on the door, my mother was there, they asked me what had happened, I told her what happened, you know, we were all there, other kids are coming to check, like a bunch of us went over to see what the hell had happened to New York, we all told her what happened, she didn't remember, you know, she was in a coma, so we waited for a couple days, and she came out of a coma, and then they actually, I think they allowed, they didn't allow us to see us, she didn't want nobody to see us, her in the hospital, because they had a shave ahead, so, you know, I'm not thinking anything of it guys, I'm just

feeling bad about this girl, you know, she's in a coma, she's coming home, when she comes home, we all go over there, I went out of my way, I bought a box of exotic fucking fish, you know, those, you know, the nice red ones, I didn't just buy, yeah, in those days before COVID and shit, you went up to the Chinese store, you stuck your hand in the thing, in a bag, you counted out, I bought 25 fish, and you paid them 25 cents, whatever, I went and above and beyond, I bought a roses, I bought her a case of the goldfish, you know, we all chipped in and got her a card, the whole fucking thing, and I went over there and the mother was cool, the brotherly was cool, you know, we all talked, I'm sorry, she had the bandage on, and then the mother took me again

down upstairs and said, so tell me what happened again, and she goes, listen, she got on the fucking bike, the bike was around, you know, the steering wheels weren't working right, and we chased her to tell her that the steering wheel wasn't working right, she thought we were chasing her to get her off the bike, and she went over the bike, and that was it, it ended at that guys, that was it, you know, like fucking three days later, I go to fucking school, and one of the teachers pulls me aside, and he goes, we need to talk, and he goes, this kid came in, and he goes, he didn't see it, but from his angle, he thought that you might have pushed her or whatever, and I go, that wasn't the case, because we were never there, we all saw the thing, he

goes, whoa, whoa, he says, from where he was watching, I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got there, as she had landed already, and the bike had fallen on top of her, and that was it, I didn't, I go, no, nobody pushed her, that's a lie, nobody could even push her, nobody was close to her, what about, then the room started to get now, Coco must have pushed her, Coco must have pushed her, Coco must have pushed the guys through this day, I'm telling you, I didn't push her, I went to, actually, I even went to Nikki, and I go, Nikki, let me ask you a question, did I push you, and she goes, you couldn't have pushed me, because you were 10 feet away from me, all right, she goes, the last thing I remember is looking at you and flying in the air,

boom, that's it, I graduate, I go to the eighth grade, she goes to the freshman year, now let me tell you how good looking this girl is freshman year in high school, she wins homecoming queen with no hair, that's how beautiful this girl was, I love this girl with all my fucking heart, love her with all my heart, wanted to sleep with her, wanted her to be my first girlfriend, the whole thing, brother, it just didn't happen, okay, so we're friends, I get to high school, I see her in high school every day, we talk, we share weed, we share money, the whole thing, what I'm telling you now is the jokey side of it, that you don't think it's a joke that I told on Joe Rogan, when she recovered from that surgery, before the surgery she was just a skinny 13 year

old girl, when she recovered from the surgery, the bad part of that surgery was whatever part hit her brain made her tits grow, I wish this was a joke, I wish this was a joke, and I mean not make a tits grow to nice tits, I mean they were triple D, and then on the flip side she became, what's the word, when you become kind of a whore, she started sleeping with a lot of guys, the promiscuous, the reputation on the sleep, the word got out that she started sleeping with a lot of guys, okay, so my mother dies, we're still friends, my mother dies in 79, this all went down in 77, 76, my mother dies in 79, I move in with the benders in 1980, I'm supposed to graduate high school in 82, she's supposed to graduate in 81, hear me out, I'm sitting at the benders

watching football one night and the door knocks, and Mr. Bender goes, there's a broad waiting for you at the door, I'm like are you fucking kidding me, no girl has ever called for me, I thought this was on the stake, when I go for the door it's tricky-nicky, with big tits on, a mini skirt, fucking looking tremendous, I go what's happening, and she goes come we talk for a minute, and she tells me this guy that she was dating, was gonna take it to the prom, if I could take it to the prom instead, I was between me and you guys, I was so, like this had to be 81, right, I was on drugs, you know, I was on acid every day, I was still living with the benders, so it was before I got thrown out of the benders, April of 81, so I was still living with the benders

obviously, and she's like would you take me to the prom and all this stuff, she goes if you take me to the prom, I will fuck you to death, and I'm like like guys I was scared, I'm not gonna lie to you guys, she was way advanced, like you know, like I could tell she had just gone out for me, she was a woman, she was fucking men already, like that was her thing, that she wasn't dating high school guys, she was fucking men, that's why she said that the guy she was supposed to take it to the prom, couldn't take her because fucking, I don't know, fucking wife, I don't know, so I'm like yeah, you're gonna fucking my brains on, I mean oh my god she's telling me all this stuff, she's gonna suck my dick, at that time I had never gotten a blowjob or nothing like that,

I'm like wow, she scared me so much that I hid from her, like I hid from her, like I'm like you know what, after further consideration, I'm not fucking messing around with this chick, this is not gonna happen, so I told her some excuse about fucking why I couldn't take it to the prom, but it just wasn't for me, I didn't even went to my own prom, so I'm gonna take some girl to fucking prom, I told her I couldn't go and I didn't go to the prom and that was it, never saw her again, maybe saw her a year after that, I saw her in the neighborhood, Facebook fucking, my space opens up one day and you know like we all did, we all went on my space and we saw people and one day who do I see, but Nikki in a ninja fucking suit on right,

with like only her eyes and she's like doing karate things and I'm like is that who I think it is, like I read the profile and sure enough I look in the pictures and it's her and I don't know what we did in Facebook and my space on those days, if we friended people, followed them or whatever, I followed them, I think a week later I got this fucking huge note from her saying that I ruined her life, you know that her life was never the same, she could never hold a relationship with a fucking man because of what I did to her and all this and I'm like what the fuck, I'm thinking this is like a girl from Boulder, like maybe I dated a girl from Boulder and she got it wrong and maybe no, this is who this was, so I immediately you know hey man, I don't know what the fuck is

your problem, but I loved you, I mean what is your fucking problem and she goes well, I thought about it throughout the years and I felt that maybe you did push me and I'm like no you didn't say that, so fucking the next day, you know me dog, listen they're gonna shoot accusations at you every day, right, you could do two things, if they're real you could address them if they're fake, whatever me, the ones that piss me off are the ones that are completely fake, if I did something I'll cop to it, you know me, if I did something I'll cop to it, I don't give a Frenchman's fuck, what are you gonna do now, I'm 58 years old, what were you gonna do back then, I mean I was one of those guys, when I was 28 I already had it, but I already knew that if I,

you're not gonna accuse me of something, you're just not gonna fucking accuse me and none of you guys, nobody knew about this, nobody knew about this, this is just so, before you read an accusation next time or you read it with this type of mind, an open fucking mind, because this is what happens to people, dog I lived it, I have fucking lived it, so I had to call a friend of mine the next day from that neighborhood and go hey do you still talk to her, call her up and see if we could have changed numbers and talk, my girlfriend called me, my girlfriend, that girl called me a week later and she goes, I took her out to coffee, blah blah blah, she feels that you were chasing her, I don't know what the fuck she felt, you know, but her life has never been the same

and she put that fucking accusation on you and I go can I ask you a question, you were there that day and she goes yes I was, I remember how hard that bike landed on her, I go do you in your heart, did you see me push her and she goes from where I was standing, none of us, nobody was close to her, nobody was close to her, not even by a fucking long shot were they close to her, so she goes I want you to do me a favor, I don't want you to ever think about this again, this is why till today I am so, I understand accusations but I don't like them and I don't like downtime because it lets you think of those stories, like I thought about that story 10 million times and I still had to check my heart to check to see if I could do something

like that, there was no way, there was no way but in her mind her life had become such a shit bowl that it retracted back to me in 75 with a bike fucking incident and you know what I got so crazy about that situation, I interviewed like six people, like I recall people, talked to them a little bit and then said hey man I gotta talk to you about something, do you remember when she fell off the bike and they were like yep we were all there, I go did you, all of them, anybody who was there, I think I conjured up four witnesses, five witnesses, three of them were girls, they were like nobody was even close to her, when she landed we all swooped up on her and picked her up, we were all that got there on the same time, today she doesn't want to be my friend whatever

it hurts my feelings, it does because we were so tight growing up but in the other on the other hand it just lets you know about accusations, what I can you know fuck, I fucking hate them, I fucking hate them and it's not just towards me, it's towards anybody because I understand what you're feeling when you didn't do something and you got falsely accused, people who sit in fucking, what about people who sit in fucking prisons for 30 years until some poor little white dude comes up with a stitch of DNA, you ever see it, it's always a black dude who's in jail and it's always a white dude who gets a piece of DNA to save his fucking life, think of something like that happened to you, so that's why when it comes to accusations guys, at any level

whether it be he sent me a text message, did he did this, did he touch me, any of those accusations I react to because it sucks being falsely accused of something, until this day it hurts my fucking feelings and till this day I'm like maybe I have something coming back to be karmically because of that, but I could look you in the fucking eye and tell you that nobody touched that chick and in fact if anybody would have saw me touch her, anybody in that neighborhood, they would have raised their hand because that's the type of neighborhood we're from, we'll tell you the fucking truth, so when I talk to you people on accusations, next time you read an accusation about something that happened 30 fucking years ago, think of two things, there's an, I don't know if

you've ever read the Sammy the Bull book, Sammy the Bull has an interesting fucking book, the one that he sold, they made the money from, he has an interesting chapter in that book and it's about after he joined the Gambino's, he went and had to be somebody's understudy, he had to be this guy's understudy, every day the guy made him report to him, the guy was an older Italian guy and all the guy cared about in those days was fucking fruit and growing vegetables, I forget what the guy's name is in the book, he had this fucking cigar and he had his fegos, whenever you went to see him he'd have his feet rolled up, his pants rolled up in the mud, this is why I'm using this story, just so this is how I look at things, he said that he got to become

a gangster under him because this Tato Aurelio, that was the guy's name was Tato, Tato taught him two things, Tato taught him one thing that was very important that I learned growing up, okay, he said that while he was there every day somebody would come in with a beef, like Mike would come in and go fucking, Joey took me on the road, he was supposed to give me 500 but instead he gave me 400 dollars, you know, he fucking ripped me off and then Tato would go right Mike, go home, let me talk to Joey the next day and see what Joey has to say, you know, without Mike's knowledge Joey would come the next day and Tato would ask him what happened, why is Mike mad at you and he goes, I took him on the road and I paid him, he said that

you said you were going to give him 500 but you ended up giving him 400, I go no, ask him again, I told him that if I sold out the shows I'd give him 500, I didn't sell out the shows, that's why I gave him the 400 but I still paid him his dough, I still paid for all his dinners and I still took great care of him, the next day Tato sends for Mike and he goes, I had Joey here yesterday, he enjoyed your company, he loved you to death, he said everything went great, he said that he said to you, yes he'll pay you 500 dollars if he sold out and then the guy will go, oh I didn't fucking hear that part and he goes, you know, from sitting there all those years and watching that I started doing something extra and that's listening, listening, listening to two sides

and see where the, bro there's two sides to every fucking story, okay, I don't know if you guys watched last week, there was a big thing going on with Carlos on Bobby Lee, guys I fucking love Carlos, I love Carlos, Carlos in the very very beginning helped me out a lot, I don't like, and you know how I feel about Bobby, I love Bobby to fucking death, I don't like, you know, it's a beat and record, it happened 20 years ago, move on with your life, what I don't like about it is that still after 20 years Carlos is still like weaving, he's chucking and jiving, Carlos we love you, it's been 20 years, just say yes, I stole the joke and move on, I watched that, you know somebody called me and said you watch

Carlos on Bobby Lee, at least Bobby Lee had the balls to fucking confront him, I go, I tried to confront him during the warm-ups of, you know, like when somebody comes through a podcast and you're setting up the lights and you're asking him where am I sitting, I confront him and then I go, let's talk about the joke stealing, and he looked at me and he's like, what joke stealing are you talking about, and I was like, I'm not even gonna go there, like, after all these years, if you're still fucking banging your head, saying to yourself, I was not involved in it, I can't they even did a documentary and put you on it and called you a joke thief or whatever, I'm not mad at Carlos, I don't care about Carlos, Carlos is a nice guy, he worked it out, you know, whatever,

he still goes out and does comedy, he's a fucking road warrior, I don't care, but even the other day listening to it, you know, they hated me because Mitzi gave me the name Ned, oh, I started running the light because Dice and Mooney were running the light, well, where I came from, you don't do what everybody else does, you do what you do, so they go along with you, like I could walk off here and you could contact the store, ask them, in 23 years I ever run the fucking light, one time, by mistake, I ran the light, I got involved in a joke, I ran the light, I got off stage, I apologized to the comic and when the comic got off stage, I apologized to him again, I apologized to the fucking, the chicken the boot, I apologized to Jeff, I apologized to

everybody, when you run the light, it's very disrespectful, but that's not what we're here for, we're here talking about accusations, if you got a cue or something, you got two options, you could either fucking lie or you could say yes, this is how I did it, this is why I did it, let's move the fuck on and life is done, but for you to sit there and stuff all these years, for me with the nicky thing, it makes me want to cry, like why don't, I almost broke down and cried before when I was telling you the story, because I cared for that much, that, I cared for that much, that much, if she was just a girl and I fucked or whatever, no, I cared about it that much and I cared for her more after I dated her because I realized how much a fucking jerk off

I was for falling in love, I was too young for falling in love, but the point of all this is accusations, accusations fucking suck, but here's, let's go for the main course of this whole thing was where there's smoke, there's fire, so also remember that, now if we were sitting here having the conversation of three chicks flying through bikes around me, it's pretty tough to Joey to get himself out of that one, not that I'm getting myself out of anything, I'm just explaining to you how it goes, when I got accused in 85 of robbing Joanne Ligio's house, a very dear friend of mine, again, what year is it right now? 2021, this is 1985, that means we're gonna go on 36 years ago, it was robbed during the night of a fucking football dinner or some shit, which they'd usually

do in January or February, I was accused of it, I lived in Crestkill, New Jersey, I called the Cop, North Bergen police the next day when they accused me, I said I got a fucking alibi, I don't know what time they stole it, but I couldn't have robbed it because there's three different fucking people looking to kill me in North Bergen, I'm not going on North Bergen, especially Robber family, I know, but they had the balls to say I robbed them, they made the accusation, some people believed them, some people didn't, but guess what, I never got mad at the people that believed them, I never got mad at the people who took their chance, who took their back, why do you think? Because with this smoke, there's fire, I'm a fucking thief,

so yes, I robbed Michaels, I robbed a couple things, now I got no leg to stand on, do you understand what I'm saying to you? So where there's smoke, there's fire, so next time an accusation comes out about an actor, a comic, a fireman, somebody close to you, I don't give a fuck, it's true, use logic first before you make your final fucking, before you go in there with your words, I see people condemning people online, and this is what pisses me off, I want you, before you agree with that accusation, or disagree with that accusation, I want you to think about both fucking sides, think of both sides, think of the accuser and the chick or the man accusing them, think of how the fuck they feel, maybe they didn't do it, maybe there was a chance

that they didn't do it, did you ever think of that? I always, before I fucking dive into something, I always like to look around, check on, except when I found out about Ron Jeremy, that I rip him off my wall, although I didn't have my warming on the podcast, no, I talked to two different porno producers who told me horrible stories, that I did not know about, that you didn't know about, that nobody knew about, that gave me the power to rip that picture down of Ron Jeremy, but I didn't rip it down before that, just because once they arrested him, you're coming down, once I hear stories and they get confirmed, then I make my fucking hypothesis, which basically is an educated guess and I attack, so when they try, even when they tried to go after me this year,

if you look at that video, there's so many things you could attack, what are you attacking? What are you attacking? Was it Joe Rogan laughing? Was it 20 women? Was it sucking my dick before the joke? Yeah, you didn't even know what you were attacking, you didn't even know what you were accusing, ah, I'm accusing him of laughing, I want you to think about it, nine months later, that they were accusing poor Joe of laughing, of laughing, that's how bad of a time we got, and he addressed it, I don't give a fuck, I laugh, so what, who gives a fucking, they move the fuck on, and that's what the problem is today, you get accused of something, you didn't fucking do it, you fucking stand up and you fight for yourself, the same way I've done for years, I've done a

thousand things, if you come at me right now and accuse me of kidnapping, can't, well you can't, I've never been accused of kidnapping, I've been accused of kidnapping, but not convicted of kidnapping, that's a big motherfucking story, I've been convicted of burglary, big fucking story, so if you accuse me on a burglary, if you say to me right now, Joey, my house got robbed across the street right here in Jersey, yeah, I could be a suspect, because robbery was in my fucking circle, you understand me, but no, don't accuse me of something that I wasn't, like a tree jumper, or something like that, that sucks being accused of a tree jumper rape and all that shit, that shit sucks, so the next time you buy into one of those things, before you buy into it, do all the

fucking research you can, okay, in my case, I did research for all these guys that you couldn't do, because I'm actually, I was living in LA at the time and I could ask around and I could see, you people are just going off assumptions and videos and whatnot, get the full story, next time a comic comes to your town, go to that show, pay for a ticket, invite them out to dinner, talk to them, get his opinion on it, and see what the fuck went down and what didn't go down, this is why I don't like accusations and I don't believe them, and that's the fucking podcast, it's Monday, the 18th of January, it's Martin Luther King Day, one of the greatest men of all fucking time, he set us fucking free, he straightened this out, until fucking whatever, but why anyway,

who gives a fuck about all that shit, I just want to bring you to church today on a Monday, let you know I'm doing great, I'm feeling great, and that's a story you didn't know about me, a lot of people didn't know about me, that till today, it bothers me, and the bother that was that it was a false claim, if it was true, fuck it, it's true, it doesn't bother me, there's a lot of things I've been accused of that I didn't do, and that I was so far off the path of doing that it didn't even make sense, again, if somebody robs you or something's missing in your house, I'm a suspect, I can't get myself out of that one, that's the fucking facts, I love you cocksuckers, have a great fucking Monday, have a great week, want Patreon if you want to see the album of the

week, last week, I don't know what the fuck it was, I don't know what it's going to be this week, but we're just having a good time over there motherfuckers, I don't know my next stand-up date is, we're just trying to get off all through all this fucking COVID, all I know is I'm going to try hard this week, and finish my first chapter, I'm maybe a paragraph or two away, it took me three weeks to finish a chapter, I should be ashamed of myself, but dog, I did it thanks to you guys, so if you're writing a book maybe we can write this together, we're all in the same doghouse, we all bleed when we get cut, I love you guys, we're all in my heart, welcome to week three of January and I will let you know, I will post it exactly when I'm finished with the

first chapter, but here's the sad thing about it, as I looked at the book last night, there's like 18 more chapters, I'm in fucking hell, I'm never going to finish this, but anyway I love you guys with all my heart, I'm going to stick to this, this is my goal for 2021 and this is a goal we'll be sharing together, if you want to tweet me and let me know your goals, be more than welcome, if not go fuck yourself, have a great week, Uncle Joey loves you and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, all right you cop suckers, I want to thank you again for listening to the church, we had a good time, I got to talk to you some shit that nobody's ever heard before, but you heard it today, hey anyway, before I get out of here, the joint has been brought to you

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slash sportsbook for details, now if you got a gambling problem, that's a different story, there's help, you gotta call 1-800-GAMBLER and if you're in Indiana, call 1-800-9 with it, I don't want you lurking around here with a fucking kiss of death problem, but if you're all clear, fuck it, download the DraftKings sports book app, use code Joey and let's make some fucking cash the third week of January, I want to thank DraftKings, I want to thank ExpressVPN, but most importantly I want to thank you motherfuckers for always having my back, stay black, have a good fucking week and I'll see you Wednesday morning, tip top motherfucking magoo, there you go, what the fuck you think you're dealing with?

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