Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 03/15/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #62

Episode Date: March 16, 2013

Joeys friend Greg calls in. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use promo code CHURCH for a discount at check out. Streamed live on 03/15/2013

oh shit oh shit my brother Lisa at Friday the church were back bitches like herpes like herpes in a month it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive happy st. Patty's day before it even fucking happens get an attorney before you get that DUI cocksucker the church what's happening now kick that motherfucker Lee oh shit we came to get down that's how we show up on the church you're not gonna show up with fucking one gun and no bullets you're showing up to get down cocksuckers it's Friday get your shit together I've been gone for eight days you're slipping Lee's drinking fucking carrots and shit jump around what's

happening motherfuckers are beautiful day to be alive Friday March what is it 14 15 who the fuck who gives a friend fuck the month is half gone what have you done cocksucker I'm here at my co-host the main dog Lee Syat looking skinny the fucking every stone look like a carrot from behind you know I'm trying buddy 52 pounds 52 fucking pounds you know what part of the church is just trying just showing up with a fucking gun and going to show that what are you gonna do beautiful fucking day what's happening Lee this podcast is brought to you by on it don't fuck around go on it calm get your shit together go to the

box press in church get your little fucking discount and get your life started a lot of shit been going on we haven't talked but I'm back bitches what's happening Lee say I'm feeling great but I'm more interested how is New Orleans New Orleans is a beautiful fucking Catholic fucking city it is it really is you think it's it's Catholic church is fucking everywhere so does that one church everywhere underground underground they got them every on fucking boats they don't give a fuck I walked around Sunday and the Lord's dad called like two different church services it was just amazing man got a cookie got

cleansed met some fucking cool people line they would be there my Friday night show was a little slippy Sunday night we rocked the fucking house together I want to give some shout outs down there to New Orleans the special fucking people my man Dan the fireman brought me two sweatshirts a t-shirt I got one for Lisa yeah from Jefferson parish I love you I feel bad I didn't get to see you guys Monday Tuesday Wednesday I was on the set and Saturday and Sunday had family down there Lee oh really yeah the people from bold away we'll get to the fucking chef whatever the fuck is chef Ron Rob whatever I love this fucking

guy the smile on the warmth in these people's faces you know Jake came up to me I didn't get to see him I smoked some fucking tremendous reefer oh chef Rob gave me some fucking reef I took it back every I because you break you have California we begin the California weed is very good and it's exceptional we've been smoking that same that same guy grows that year round yeah that's what it seems like these guys brought me some blue dream and something else I was fucking stoned the first two days I ain't gonna lie to you people I'm over points fucking I'm so fucking gone fucking what's his name you know don't

shake can't even help me he's all fucked up I went down to New Orleans listen if you're a fat fuck don't go to New Orleans okay if you're a fat fucking you like food don't go to New Orleans there was a subway sandwich shop that motherfucker was deserted people wouldn't even go in there I was gonna shoot somebody like Kelly from who the fuck would go to subway sandwiches when you live in New Orleans yeah you call me what you call me like the first night you're like I'm just sitting outside watching it hoping someone goes in so I can beat them up because across the street there's a place that has gumbo for 499 so

go fuck yourself with your five-hour fucking sandwich because even a bad gumbo is a six up here like a bad restaurant New Orleans is a fucking eight up here you tonight both know that we got okay food up here in California it's passive so we get the suns out the birds are chirping and there's fucking weeds so we accept it but it's not the fucking shit I had New Orleans I had a steak at mr. John steakhouse with a fucking crab cake and a salad god damn Lee now you have to tell me because I've been telling people since I've been on this I think of more about food than I do about sex did you have a shrimp oh boy

three of them first night and I got a shrimp oh boy I bit into it I'm like what the fuck is this it's shrimp unbred with lettuce and the tomato who invented and then something the motherfucking sauce they put on it grabs it it's like a finger in the air she's sucking your pipe but also she pops the thing you don't know what feels good you know if it's a fucking blowjob or the finger in the air so awesome when she takes a mouth off your pipe and you're leaking everywhere you're like goddamn that thing in the ass is a bad mother shut your mouth it's Friday bitches I had a just an amazing like I could say

that means no I shouldn't say that shit it was a good time in New Orleans it was really cool it really opened my eyes I wasn't aware of the beauty down there mm-hmm like Josh Wolf had been telling me for years and a couple people but when I went down there it was fucking scary all right and I'm not scared of those fucking towns like that but I was scared that night I took my cocaine and we're right back to fucking Houston and it was just differently it was a real nice experience of people were really nice you know they don't they don't know I'm fucking nuts and stuff the line Louis Theta was off the fucking chain

oh that sucked about a lot more theater that's at the end we were smoking dope outside and the people like you gotta go inside the bar you can the neighbors gonna complain that's the only bad thing I had about that neighborhood excuse me but then I realized that you can't have weed down there they'll fucking throw you don't throw you under the fucking jail with Bourbon Street there they care about weed yeah that's what I heard people like don't fuck around down here with weed okay don't know you under the fucking jail Jesus so I was careful after that but as far as the other shit the movie Lee goddamn I'm a lucky motherfucker really

if people only knew you know like you see this if people only knew how lucky like you are but the luck comes from trying yeah that's what people don't know that you can you make your own luck but you gotta really hang in there you know this movie here I auditioned bad for it they told me when I got there they like the first tape what were you thinking they go when you came back the second time you brought backs of me and then you said you know you're funny like when you talk so we brought you and we had worked with you before so for starters I didn't go in and steal the roll from anybody was mine to lose yeah it was my

role to lose that must be a new experience what's that that like cuz you were used to fighting and now now you're like people are doing that with you in mind and they want you was my role to lose you know and I'm very fortunate that when you see that movie you'll go fucking Joey no I knew people you know I had worked with the guy before was a working experience before but what was really crazy I got this really weird thing down there now I get down there Friday yeah do a lot of wet sadly my family comes up and then I had this kid Mike Geacona that I grew up with the North Bergen at Lizard and

Jackson Mississippi and he came up I haven't seen that motherfucking 30 years last time I saw him he was accusing me of robbing this house so when I saw him the first thing I said to him was dog I didn't fucking rob the house which I really didn't that's the first thing he said yeah cuz 30 years ago every time somebody's house got robbed after a while was me yeah in the neighborhood I was Joey no wasn't fucking Joey all right you people are civilians I was robbing drug dealers big fucking difference but if you're a civilian that deals drugs then I'd rob you too but you got no problems so that's the first

thing I addressed I got him right he goes you know I thought about it years later blah blah blah blah but he told me an interesting story when we had grown up Mike was a year or two younger than us okay and Mike wasn't the sharpest tool to shit great-looking guy sweetheart big kid but when we were younger you know he had problems at the house and stuff his mom and the dad was cool and the sister is my love I grew up with the sisters this is one of my best friends in life and Mike his house got robbed he hung out with those crazy white dudes that I grew up with downtown Mike the Domic Spachial who died on the THC and

Sabatino and Carlos Perez who I just saw in Miami when I lived downtown by giving up terraces are crazy bunch of motherfuckers yeah so I mean these guys were fucking crazy he brought me a hemp bag okay those coffee bags yeah don't open it till you get back to your room I want you to think about this hemp bag and you know I've never had one of those things but I remember when I was a kid towards the end of my mom's life she was running out of money we had sold the bar okay and we were up a way station for weed for somebody I don't know it was one of my mother's friends from the old days so you mean like they'd leave it in

your basement and then come and get it come get it like a week later okay left it in hemp bags okay I mean I had one point I had like three of those things in this little room when you went into my garage and went upstairs in those days if you look down there was a walkway that went down the stairs and my mother had set up a bar down there with a refrigerator for meat okay that's why I practiced karate when I was a kid upstairs and I had like a little punch in bag and I had a makiwara against the wall and I would punch and I had all these little things on there but in there was a little boiler room okay that

they had wrapped up and under the boiler this is the weirdest thing about giving that Terry's a lot of people to know under the boiler if you pushed it over a little bit a person could fit through there and they would take you under the street where I took you Jesus Christ where I took you and you could walk up the fucking street underneath because that was all an orphanage and the 20 Lee it's fucking crazy and I should have talked about the documentary and I didn't that under that street there's like a fucking walkway for a kid like the hallways from the orphanage do they sneak out or you know

I don't know I don't I never really thought about it but our houses that pipe whatever that that walkway was like a small walkway you could connect with the other houses you can break in if you had to I guess the other that leads into the other it's crazy shit anyway in that little closet was where she had the bales of wheat okay one time you know I was tight with Dominic especially out very tight with the football camp together and one day I went down my mother came up says she goes one of the bells is missing did you take it I go no I was stealing from the top and selling it but I wouldn't take a whole

fucking bail yeah and it was this weed that the dealers did not know this is the funniest thing these were the dumbest weed dealers in the world when I found out about this two ways a the first of two or three weeds they had were good then after that they started getting this weed that the people who processed it grinded the seeds into it and left the seeds in the weed for weight okay so when you sparked it in a pipe it would blow up oh see the seeds blow up so we called it explosive seed so let's say weed was $25 in those days for a little bag I would sell it for 20 or 15 because it was explosive weed it would

blow up while you were smoking you were smoking a joint you couldn't smoke in a joint it would keep turning off oh it's a fucking nightmare so the weed was ruined okay and the second batch of weed another we do they got that got you fucked up to taste it like salt and what happened was they must have gotten this is Colombian weed they were bringing it up at the blow in those days these people she knew because they had cocaine down there too then the weed became cocaine later on but that summer of 79 it was weed and somebody robbed my house I mean I was heartbroken and I found out that Dominic had something to

do with Dominic Spasio and I was really heartbroken and Sabatino came to me told me who it was the people responsible but there was a kid they lied to me about they said he was involved he's on Facebook now I remember I got him by the pool and I called him it was like a 12 it was like a ring like a small ring okay when you walk into a business to have an outer thing with glass and you open up a second door I caught him in the first one okay and I fucked him up in that first fucking little ring there he couldn't get out of there so how old are you I had to be 15 Jesus okay so now they found out it was Dominic Spasio and Joe rail

this other there were the rail brothers one became a cop and the young ones the two twins one was a decent motherfucker the other was crazy in fact he murdered somebody went to jail for 20 years now he came out and he's still fucking crazy because I talked with his older brother no this is some crazy fucking neighbors this is white kids that were fucking crazy so he said he told me an interesting story you know and when I told him about that I didn't rob his house he goes let me tell you my story he goes after Dominic drowned on the THC crystal you know he was eating the angel dust yeah he goes I went to his

house a year later to give my apologies to his mother because we were all kids it's like if I hung out with you since we were kids and all of a sudden your mother nobody wanted to go over there because every time you went over there the mother broke down oh yeah I don't want to come to your house if you're gonna break down on me but we didn't understand we were fucking kids yeah it was 16 so I avoided the mother he went over to the house like I seen the mother at the funeral whatever a few days later but I would never fall into the clutches of the house that's where they got you of course so we went over there

and he said he went over to visit with the mother and the mother said to him do you want to see Dominic's a room and they went upstairs when you open the door the stereo he had robbed from Michael G. Conan can you imagine going to see somebody and the dead fucking kid that is dead you went to pay Rob your fucking house what did he do he said he didn't know what the fuck to do he was never so hurt in all his life this is the fucking environment I was down there with these little what you know the THC's and the fucking crystals and that shit took over that little fucking minds man so it was just crazy if Michael

showed up after 30 years and I got to give him a hug all this fucking New Orleans but Monday so Sunday I hung out with Michael and then there's other family the coaches from Boulder the coaches are family okay when I smacked my ex-husband's boyfriend yeah I wasn't allowed to pick up my daughter okay I had to send somebody so I just have to send the coaches in Boulder Joe Koch and his wife Mary Joe is a bad motherfucking skinny dude from Mississippi that owns a bagel shop down there he went back after boldly's and he's done well he's my brother I love him with all my heart his wife is from Michigan Mary and I love

her too with all my I mean solid fucking people from Boulder I've kept in touch with since the early 90s I'm friends of these people and they lost the daughter I don't know if you ever heard me tell that story that they had two daughters Emma and I forgot the older one and she called me on a Friday to ask me my address the old one because she was graduating high school they were doing a formal okay in Mississippi Julia I still got the card on my wall though so she goes I need your your card your address to send you a card for my formal when you put a $100 or $200 on the envelope and you send it back it's

my wedding invitation so Monday I'm laying I'm sitting outside Chico I got to call Friday I got to call Saturday Saturday afternoon I talked to the daughter Julia and then I talked to Joe Koch okay and they said they were gonna send me a card or Friday one of those let's just say it was one of those weekend nights and Monday I'm sitting in my yard and I got a call from an old friend of mine and Boulder that said to me that I heard from Joe Koch and I go no he was I have bad news for you Julia died in a car accident that night and that next Tuesday morning I went to the mailbox and I got the card I never

opened up the car yeah fucking but they showed up you know they weren't mentioned Julia I mean it's been about four or five years now and I know it was tough on her at first I couldn't imagine losing a fucking child no hey you know they showed up they were tough we had a fucking great time and that was it but New Orleans was fucking tremendous yeah and the movie set you know I got to tell you guys a story because this is it guys it's just to tell you how fucking life turns out in time so Monday I have to go on the set so I basically work Monday Tuesday Wednesday okay I go in at 12 but my

my called my my sets nice scenes not gonna be till about four okay it's just me and DeNiro oh shit okay now I had already gone to set watch DeNiro and LL Cool J and all this shit going down right and John Bernanthal from Walking Dead oh cool okay so he's in it he plays the son to DeNiro and the little kid is adorable so I see this Lee you know I see this I inhale it DeNiro walks past he says hello they introduced him I'm playing Mike they introduced me to LL Cool J Todd this is real name okay so they call him Todd or LL Cool J yeah they call him Todd okay so everybody was very nice you know I mean listen when you meet somebody

gonna say oh he was a douchebag from the first meeting everybody was very nice and then I went back to my trailer and I started thinking about the scene Lee and all of a sudden I started getting anxiety really which is called no no anxiety is called don't be such a fucking pussy it's called you're a fucking pussy disease and most people have it everyone we all have to stop being a little fucking put but I got it badly I mean I was ready to pack my clothes oh Lee that's how fucking bad I get it so for you people out there that think you have problems and shit listen man you never overcome it that's the battle is doing is

getting out there Lee for 35 minutes I was sweating profusely out of my armpits and my neck I even got the little dirt on your neck you know when you get that little dirt on your neck I call it like four or five friends of mine it's called don't be a pussy fucking syndrome bro it's not anxiety you know it's called you're a fucking pussy and you got to get it together you know you work hard to get this you know I'm saying like we work hard or this is the next step in my life it can happen when you're gonna go on a diet when you anything any big change in your life you're gonna get this you always get that little doubt and

if that doubt fucking beat you you're a dead man you know yeah you know you used to say you know this is the last day I'm gonna go on a diet and the next thing you know you're a fucking Burger King you know once all I'm never gonna lose weight we get the fucking you know the way we hex ourselves yeah and man I still got it 20 years I still got it but what kept me alive was thinking what if I walked out of here I'm gonna tell these motherfuckers oh yeah I'm a pussy what am I gonna tell the church guys if I didn't have these guys I would have probably walked out yeah that's the entire I for people who don't I do a

little YouTube videos and then we get a couple hundred videos I think ones up to 500 but I do it because I know if I didn't do it for a day they'd start yelling at me and it's it's really helped oh no you guys are bad you guys always say oh well Joe you inspire me will listen motherfuckers you inspire me because I tell you what I had anxiety bad that's why I started going to acupuncture I took the pills they gave me they suck if the doctor gives you a pills for anxiety just get rid of them that's hydro fucking chlorotron shit from Japan to the water in Russia that just goes to kill you I should that's

Chernobyl pills throw that shit away go to acupuncture run smoke a little bit of weed and write down what comes to your mind and what your fucking fears are because that's what I had to do I had to write down why am I scared of going in there doing the scene with this fucking the real guy who the fuck is this guy you know I'm saying who the fuck is this guy I ran with Lee I run with two fucking savages you know I'm saying I had to get myself and then I start thinking about the fuck we said I run with age RJ Straco and fucking Jill Himitsu and I run with MB in the podcast pit and Greg Spears look at these fucking

shit look at these people I got in my life I got Travis I got Ricky Park I got Dylan Rankin I got Alec Pace Kyle Gore we got some real motherfuckers dog we got Timmy Marcello making his fucking debut in the MMA we got Connor Hamilton and kind of fucking he went so sometimes yeah bro the anxiety takes a whole deal and you and you start thinking of your life and what a piece of shit you are but then you go fuck it they got to suck my dick wearing this together and I went in that dog and when the narrow came I just huffed and puffed and when I had to do my lines with him I just said the lines and after I said the first

fucking line it was like fucking stealing Lee yeah it was like stealing bug and it was stupid fucking lines and he called me a fat bastard or something like that because I sit there reading the magazine and I said like nice you know but once I said it Lee all the fear was gone the fucking the life saver the life vest came off I took my dick out in the pool and fisting it motherfucker let's hit some fucking music there what do you got for me Lee I got some king of rock but oh shit let's kick the bleep you smoking dope or let's break out the bat of life we smoked it with 18 joints all right who gives a fuck look at that

smoke that smoked his last lip dick here oh shit and I even told the devils of me his soul and knock knock doors and when we're on the tape we're fresh out the box oh shit Lisa yeah look at them juicing up the storm eating carrots like a mother fucker oh shit it's friday get up come look at watch that fucking snatch move this other dnc on rock and roll the fuck is wrong with this joint this shit I had in my drawer for like a week oh yeah this is

radioactive yeah don't worry I'll make it work I have a cut just want a couple shoutouts uh Scott Pellegrino sj Pellegrino he helped me out this week what he do what he do he uh he sent my resume over to me I got my new job started in a couple weeks Lee's got more jobs than the fucking Jamaican you understand me people again for you motherfucker I can't win the job this motherfucker's popping out job after he's working midnight daylights he don't give a fuck he's worse than black people I'm trying but the I was thought about something on the way home this morning that you talked about I went and I thought about it when

you were talking about where you were just talking about some lady gonna talk fuck you man um it's friday morning we have to get the party started saying valentine's day what is it um baddies day yeah so you always talk about like how when you look in your wallet you see the the sad card you can't really believe it and I was thinking about it today the next job I have is going to be my fourth production company I've worked on some pretty big shows and and I've done the stuff with you and it's uh it's crazy to think that like just a few years ago it would have blown my mind and it's just at like it kind of and I

don't want to say boring but it's like it's normal now for me and it's uh like I had like a moment of like oh holy shit what's happening I wasn't scared or anything but it's like you look down and you're in you're in sag and you're in a movie with thin arrow and it's just uh listen man if you commit what's what's that expression no good deed goes unpunished no how can a good deed be punished no good deed goes something and I really believe it in my heart if you would have told me that when I was 27 or 30 years old I would have told you to suck my dick and sniff my helmet follow me like no good deed goes whatever and I

tell you this as as as an uncle you mother fuckers as a brother as a friend if you put the time in sincerely in your fucking heart shit starts to happen the beauty is once you see it unfold in front of you and you're like sitting there going holy fuck I went from there to this step you know people think that I just met Joe Rogan one day and he put me on the podcast and we started rocking and rolling no I've been fighting banging this out since 91 yeah I've done triple runs where you fucking up in the Pacific Northwest and you have to drive eight hours in between gigs slept on floors

when on Greyhound buses I told you I got a blowjob from a chicken from Buffalo to Syracuse she was looting not the law but the health department nobody's ever got a fuck together with a girl that was looting the health department she had fleas a gang of virus or something fucking mouth I don't give a fuck when you're on Greyhound you take a blowjob from anything you follow me so did you be there slogan Greyhound get your dick sucked you do I'm telling you what you're bored in your life you lonely take a fucking Greyhound take a Greyhound dog and keep an open

fucking mind you will meet some interesting goddamn people I know I did holy shit I can't even imagine I met people at the bus days took me to the house and fed me shit hung out didn't want to fuck me in the ass it was amazing yeah did you hear about the the Chinese one and from Boston to New York that got shut down they have one it starts in Boston but it goes both ways and it's like 10 bucks so it's it's crazy it goes from China town to China town and they recently shut it down because like the buses were like cracked

underneath and like falling apart and like what it rolled over and like that's the Chinese community those motherfuckers are gangsters oh yeah for people people have been on and they've been chickens on the bus and it's fucking they don't give a shit they transport anything heroines Chinese people sandals spare ribs they don't give a fuck that's how to make a living you know what I'm saying I'm DJ run I rock and rule it's not a trick or treat and it's not an April fool I ate some pretzels this morning when I got up some anti fucking

oh shit here he comes up to me these are vegan pretzels they're not vegan it says it right on it you want me to show you there are weed pretzels that might be vegan but you know you don't open up with vegan vegan right there you want to read it top sucker I believe you no no no no you're gonna try to embarrass me in front of these people read this shit no I'm not embarrassing you with the glasses I can't tell but this is why that poor flat attendance is probably out of a job because you said oh these are vegan

and they're not vegan they're weed who have it happens to be vegan hey I didn't lie give us the movie review yeah a real movie review yeah oh I have something to tell you but yeah you ever hear about them yeah how they do the movie reviews okay so let's say somebody reviews the church what's happening now I mean the church what's happening now is a shitty fucking podcast it has Lisa Yad an editor who plays a fucking mook to another fucking mook Joe Diaz the vulgar language

but it sends out a positive energy and they just take that part yeah don't just take that part yeah you follow me so they're not lying it's vegan I didn't lie I didn't oh it's got weed big fucking deal it's vegan you're a vegan Jesus Christ speaking of movies uh I had an interview Friday and then before work I was gonna go see a movie and I went and saw that 21 and over one but in the middle like 20 minutes in the other company called I had to leave it was so bad no it was so awful I'm like I've only walked out from one movie

before my life and I didn't mind walking out of this one it was just no it was so awful I mean maybe it could have gotten better but I would have paid the eight bucks to see little Chinese guy do the robot I didn't even make it that far no it was bad yeah I mean I can't make a good fucking movie no they can't try nothing nothing the other night I got stuck somewhere I couldn't sleep and I got up and I had weird channels when I was in New Orleans I had weird channels and the porkies was on oh cool it was the scene where he puts his dick in the fucking shower

yeah and she pulls the fucking dick I had to watch watch the whole scene I don't know if your motherfuckers know what I'm talking about he puts his dick in the shower hole and uh the the gym instructor sees it so she sees the dick and she walks over and she grabs the dick and starts fucking pulling the helmet I got you and he's y'all know his friend she's got my dick she's got my dick so the next scene they show the teacher the gym teacher and the principal's office with another teacher explain about what happened you never seen that

I know I've seen probably you've never seen them he's sitting there and this lady's telling the principal about what happened okay and she's like so and the principal's sitting there with his assistant with a fucking grin on his face like going so the pattywhacker and she's like I grabbed it and they're fucking dying they can't control themselves the woman is stern she's fucking angry yeah you know like so you've seen the dick and then what do you want us to do and the one guy goes how about we draw a sketch

you know on the bottom put have you seen this prick and I'm sitting there fucking dying like a 13 year old because I was 13 the first time I saw that fucking movie no I was probably 18 or 19 I was living in Colorado I was dying to laugh that those little high school movies are supposed to be fucking filthy and stupid you know that's what they're supposed to be was it filthy I mean I like that by looking at it it had no stars no so I thought why not these are five kids that are fucking hungry

maybe we bump into a fucking good wait where's the weed you spoke to do it all the fucking weed when I got here 19 fucking joints now I got none that's what happens when you bring joe ideas over but no I mean maybe it picked up but I didn't I didn't feel bad about having to leave it but uh I told you I watched the the original odd couple the other night and that's a funny fucking movie you know it's tough it's a tough sell when you told me I was very surprised that you even mentioned it to me you know it's a tough sell for the podcast

because I have a lot of young guys on here and I do listen guys when I was fucking young I tell you what I hate more than if I tell you people don't get mad at me black and white movies yeah those are tough yeah when I was a kid and I saw a black and white move and like get that old shit out of there so I could imagine when I tell you guys to put the mechanic on I could just imagine like joey we love you but fuck you in this old movie I could just imagine yeah so it's a very tough so I try to pick something mid-range for these guys that's very uh

it has some history to it okay because if not they'll look at me it's like music sometimes I put on I'll put you two's first out mom these motherfuckers will boo me really it's a brilliant fucking album war war I think it's either the first or the second I'll put some brilliant movement because it's too old yeah it's out of their fucking price range and I don't and I don't blame you like I told you you know when I was a kid you put on black and white get the fuck out of here all that Chuck Berry shit when I was a kid get the fuck out of here Elvis when I was a kid you put Elvis on around me I

fucking stab you today I hear Elvis I lose my mind because I understand the brilliance of it I tell you what I fucking hate as a kid who the Beatles no you did hate him was because they're because I know you I know you like you hated SNL because other people liked it wasn't that or no SNL I just you know I bumped into this guy the guy that was training Stallone and uh DeNiro for boxing uh-huh it's from Madeline New Jersey might call in Monday he's a trainer and he specializes in weight loss and stuff I was

gonna have him call him today but he's promoting a fight okay on a different radio station or something he couldn't make both calls and at one point I was talking about channel 20 what's channel we here okay and have old shows Gunsmoke and scores Bonanza they have the odd couple and I watch it from time to time but they have all those old shows that I used to look at and laugh at as a kid like I would you know come uh it's just all those black ones like when I was a kid there was no law and order there was Perry Mason

yeah Perry Mason's a bad motherfucker with whatever his name is but I didn't like it till I got out there when I was a fucking kid bro I hated to beat those something about it's just something about him I grew up on that old-style comedy The Money Mooners the Jackie Gleason yeah and when I told that kid about that his eyes lit up and we started telling lines to each other about when they went to the doctor's office annoying dressed up as a doctor and he walked in he kept telling the guy um don't touch me I'm sterile you know and they had two writers for that show

there was two writers and Jackie Gleason and they improvised the rest yeah and I look at the end of Sinai Live you got 30 fucking writers yeah last week I was thinking about you this last week I watched Sinai Live yeah and they've had to bring back all these old guys and Justin Timberlake to liven it up and shit to get the ratings back and for people really I mean it's kind of cute but I see right to fuck through it because these are the people that are eating my food for the last 20 fucking years oh my god they're so funny they ain't that fucking funny

yeah it's not that fucking funny you watch the first half hour Sinai Live it gets you a little bit after that it's a fucking brutal last fucking hour after the first musical guest yeah it's brutal for me it always has been and it's crazy especially now because I've never really watched it but there's always they they have certain sketches that are funny but now you don't have to watch the whole hour because if when you were a kid if you didn't watch the hour you'd miss it now anything that's funny is on youtube within 20 minutes and you can watch the sketches that are funny

so that the show's like that that's gonna have to go away soon so you know I like that style of comedy the honeymoon is why I'm here today with you the reason why I became a comic it inspired me that much and when I was sharing the stories with this guy he's from modern one New Jersey we talked about WPIX and how in 1030 on WLR was Benny Hill we never missed Benny Hill and at 11 o'clock you switch to channel 11 and you watch the honeymooners the odd couple Samson's son and the Twilight Zone that was it I don't give a fuck of your first class that's 730

you didn't fucking miss that and when I was in the seventh grade and sixth grade I would get on the phone with Whitey O'Donnell in my mother's room or I would get on the phone with fucking uh with uh somebody else on their fucking room and we would talk about what was going on well I would play Ralph and he would play Norton huh you follow me that's why a couple weeks ago I'm a lot I got the baby in my arms I'm about to go out to do comedy my wife is getting ready I see the odd couples on I put the fucking odd couple on and it's an episode that we used to

goof around with his name when he went to Jamaica and Oscar Oscar Oscar and all this crazy shit and next thing you know I started bawling I started fucking bawling like a little girl holy shit because that's the fucking reason why I'm here that's the reason why I became a comic why I thought in my mind every night I know that beginning to the odd couple you know on November 10th Mattis's wife had thrown him out requesting that he never return can two divorced men share an apartment

without driving each other crazy we used to do when we got on the number one bus that's how we got the ride going oh really that's how we started the fucking ride and then we do every episode of the honeymoon is verbatim six guys in the back of a bus fucking uh you know my friend sure you know my friend how Harvey's even bigger than you even bigger than me I got a friend surely that's fucking bigger than you all those fucking lines from the honeymoon is you know there's a scene the honeymoon is where they're gonna inherit

three million dollars okay it's one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life okay and he lends Norton lends him it's like if I come to you I go listen I need $20 but you've already heard every story yeah you've already heard every fucking story and you're like come on Joey and I'm like listen how would you like to be part of a corporation and you're like what and I'm like a corporation you know I got I got this money it's coming in what is it 20% for $20 I give you 20% of the corporation

so after a month goes by Norton knocks in the door when they go say rough you told me every time you spun around I'd make money so far you haven't been no fucking top all right where's my money right so they start talking and somebody knocks in the door and it's uh like a lawyer and he's like I'm a lawyer from Miss Monaghan I'm here to uh inform you that she died Constantine I love you cocksucker she died and that uh she left you something in the will you have to go to the reading tomorrow okay so right away they look

at the paper and she was worth 30 million dollars so Rob is like we inherited 30 million dollars she's got a nephew she hates him so we inherited 30 million and the whole time he says I'm harry 30 million dollars Norton goes 20% stockholders right I'm dying every time he says I inherited 30 million dollars Norton would go and 20% goes to the stockholders so now it's the day they have to wake up to go to this meeting yeah fucking Norton shows up with a briefcase

with a suitcase puts it on the table Rob looks at him and goes what's the suitcase where he goes 30 million dollars how you gonna bring it home Jesus Rob looks at him and he knows he wants to argue with him like he's like you know you're a real fucking idiot but you're my buddy he goes why don't you go upstairs and cut 30 million dollars and see if it even fits in there Norton looks at them opens up the suitcase takes out the phony money and slams the thing he goes the small details that's brilliant to me

then they go down there listen to the writing listen to the fucking writing they kept saying she had a fortune okay they walk into this fucking mansion and there's a fucking statue of Enos de Milo yeah with no arms and no legs in front of the butler Norton hits Rob and he goes look at that guy he must have a rotten barber they walk into the thing they sit down the nephews there they start goofing on the nephew because he's a gambler and she leaves the nephew a dollar oh no

a dollar and they're like you better bet it on the winner and all this shit they just torment and they're clapping in between you know he left the May 30,000 they started clapping Norton's clapping and all of a sudden everybody looks at him he goes a little habit i picked up from the quiz shows but here's what gets ugly she goes into my favorite bus driver to a simple i leave my fortune they both get up they're clapping they're hugging each other we're rich we're rich and he's in the back 30%

goes to the stock and finally he goes come on bring in the fortune it's a fucking bird oh no the name of it was fortune that's comedy fucking writing 101 yeah that's comedy they took us one way and they took us another there's an episode when they go on a train and he handcuffs him and he goes put the handcuffs on one two three both and that's it the handcuffs come off and they both got locked up with the handcuffs okay and he kept saying to him Ralph can you get me water and they get they have to go back in the bunk

Ralph can you take my jacket off it's hot they have to come off the bank and take the jacket off then he's hanging there with a handcuff and finally fucking he goes Ralph can i get a cigarette Ralph is furious he gets up he goes get down get down you want any water no you want any any no no you want this no you need this no because i just need a cigarette all right get up there he goes up there two minutes into he goes Ralph you forgot to ask me if i needed a match they got up and they found the train is going a different fucking direction

that's comedy yeah they were taking you somewhere and that's the shit we don't see today that's the shit we don't see today watch i love lucy give i love lucy a chance if you get stoned fucking just give me five minutes of your time and put on i love lucy i call him i love lucy that was dying when he breaks out in spanish it was 1955 people there were no specs there were no specs in 1951 or 55 cut it out you know what that man did you have any fucking idea what he did you know and you know i told you the story he went his parents got rid of him out of Cuba

okay that kid was on his own like they just threw him out of Cuba his father was part of some Batista regime i don't know what the whole story was but they sent them to they sent to a catholic school in Miami okay by himself it's like me sending you to school in israel by yourself no cousins no nothing fuck just send you there and give you enough loot and while he was there one christmas he was by himself and some kids said you want to come home with me jesus gonna sit here by yourself was Al Capone's son

Al Capone's son took him back to Chicago Al Capone fell in love with this fucking speck it was fucking amazing that's his story it was fucking amazing listen put on a little hector levo tolo tiene su final from like the fucking three-minute part we got to give a shout out to some fucking spanish people this week taking over the fucking Vatican nick Diaz is fighting Carlos conduit's fucking fighting we got some specs happen making things happen uncle joey's here with my main man we got to give a shout out to spanish people is who the fuck are you thinking

dealing with here uh what um i'm about that's gonna be 10 seconds but what do you think of chavis did you have any comment like because i mean it's another dictator sort of because of fucking nothing nothing all right kami cocksucker that thought he was fucking crazy well you know you give those fucking momos like he's done yeah but they're he's gonna be uh on display permanently like they're like mummifying him so we can go looking at him keep going mummify we're gonna go see him and touch his fucking dead foot no keep going keep going

keep going he goes nuts keep going keep going oh shit oh shit little hector all the Puerto Ricans up there dead squad new york city dead squad Harlem raise your fucking hands cocksucker speed it up a little bit now until he goes fucking this is the this is the musics keep going right there is good i hear you lea here we go a little fucking maracas for you get up cocksuckers it's friday if pussy your ass or cock in your future wash that monkey because it's friday you know what i'm saying you want to make a

good impression saying patties is fucking sunday take your honor immune if you're gonna go out and party so we can take that immunity you're gonna eat some bad ass you never know when you get some ass it's got fucking cranberries in it whatever dingle berries who the fuck knows and there you are coughing at work with a weird breath and you gotta take some some fucking antibiotics so get it together st patty's day and be careful out there some crazy fucking irish people me i don't give a fuck i'm down with the

fucking irish you know i'm saying the battle of the boy we'll keep working hard and you haven't wiggled for me i want to see you wiggle in 52 pounds later because you wiggle you know you wiggle when you are behemoth of a man now look at you you bad motherfucker you sound like Tony Soprano the offseason with the beard hit it lee all right it's friday you bad motherfuckers little hector levo out of respect for the argentinian pope i know he's a

town get the fuck out of there hit it you oh shit oh shit let me see you wiggle oh little fucking specks singing this morning for you motherfuckers oh there you go i'll teach you some spanish what does that mean what is he saying about

you slipped my fucking helmet that's what i mean i don't know what it means what you bothered me for saying it in meanings is one of my dictionary in spanish yes you speak spanish you better go together you better you're gonna become a jew that fucking speaks Spanish it's just another weapon you're fucking maybe it's only at uh at a yum yum donut that you speak spanish who speaks spanish yum yum donuts you when do i speak spanish you yum yum donuts you dirty bastard every time we go in

you like you shoot it like he's your cousin back there and and now you say you don't know what todo's tinnitus you phenomenon oh todo tinnitus means everything comes to a fucking n cock sucker like your eyeball i'm gonna stick this fake cigarette in your fucking eyeball you'll be walking around with a patch and one eye waiting for the other eye to get farted in which i got the chicks you've been calling me you know she wants to fight for an all-advance i told whatever fuck you i'm like what the fuck this is done

we're just getting what is she getting five hundred dollars for to fart in your face to stick to a particular diet you want to the juice i don't want to blow you know i don't want to keep the i don't want to throw an apple in your eye and it throws your diet off you follow me if she's gonna fart in your face you're gonna be juicing fine do i don't you don't really have any perks when you're juicing so that's fine well then i'll have a eat a big ball of fucking peanut butter so with chunks in it one of those chunky peanut butter you're gonna

peanut in the eyeball no you're never eating the asshole you don't know what it is to bump into a peanut by mistake you're not exactly selling it who wants a peanut in the eyeball why not it's coming out of the asshole a little one like a crunched one already once that's the intestines crunched a little bit you got like snapple oh good so your body can't even break it down but it's coming out of the asshole and bodies don't break bomb peanut and corn that's why you always there's always little things that come that's

why every time you go to Boston market don't eat the corn oh i love corn oh i love it too cream and fucking the other thing um on it have you ever had i've never had it but i've seen it around to your lot like corn on the cob and they put like some spanish cheese on it is that good i don't know about the spanish cheese i get the shit with the seasonings at the farmers market on sundays delicious yeah delicious the corn you're not gonna eat ever again you're gonna know i am in a few weeks no you ain't eating that's it you already got a

beat fuck it why go back to eating that i have to eat fuck that you don't need i'm going fucking banana soldier you're like rambo of the diet world look at you i'm next i'm gonna tell you some people this what happened i have some juicy water fuck i wouldn't drink that shit unless you gave it to me intravenously you better knock me out to put the needle in because it's not worth the aggravation i'm going to wait watches today i'm going back to counting my points oh cool you know what when i booked this i read the

signs and when i talked to the cash director she was like you know what pete expected you to be a little bigger really yeah because he worked with me last time in the longest yard so he didn't fucking know when i shut up he's like you lost some fucking weight didn't you i go yeah i lost somebody's like no we wanted your gut to be the old gut we didn't know if you had shrunk it a little bit but i still got a fucking gut who are you getting beaten it looks bigger i'm camera that's 10

pounds yeah they can put a small shirt on you and stuff yeah but it wasn't to say it didn't have the patois the old gut the old gut had the lumps in it the cellulite you know this you can see like a little striations like my obliques are trying to make it come back no no no i'm gonna hire a trainer for this next uh for the special and stuff nice it's not the baby i don't want the baby to be one i can't walk around but my cardio's good everything's good i'm going to kickboxing family to work out tomorrow and then i got five days and it's up to

sacramento with my man diagostino thursday friday saturday then after that i'm a little hiatus for a few weeks and i'm going to go to fucking miami did you see that i might bring you that one lisa i'm not it's the miami comedy festival and pete holmes is there too oh cool yeah he's in the small theater also later on that night and isn't but i think bill burr is there too bill burr salvo silverman so if you're in miami for loud there west pond beach do me a favor here's the deal if i sell out friday night which is 204 seats don't give me saturday for four point i'm gonna get the banana

bridge ship down i'm gonna get everything i'm gonna get some posters from the longest show i showed you the ones that they kept me they're gonna be limited edition oh cool when the longest shot first came out they put me in the poster but then when wb whatever gave christ rock the show they put the black dude in the post and they put his head over my fucking body i still got the original posters we found them when we were moving the office oh cool you know you find some shit that you forget about so i'm gonna bring some of those down i'm gonna sign those giving away some people so i'm gonna

have a good time to miami you know some cuban people down there i haven't seen some people i grew up with so i'm gonna have my own fucking festival down there and is that can you buy tickets at joeydia.net or is that on ticketmaster what is it i think it's on ticketmaster and it's 20 dollars and the nine dollar festival fucking fee it's a south beach so my apologies to everybody you know i'm not a mutt like that the nine dollars has nothing to do with me i don't like making my tickets over 18 dollars i try to be fair with everybody i want you

know the way i always look at it if you can't afford you know if you go to a movie and it's sold out you might as well come see joeydia's i don't want you to really kill yourself but the clubs have a certain fucking quota you know you guys support me in every way you support me so the nine nine dollar service charge is not mine it's required for you to fucking go and i don't know what to tell you i like to sell both of these out it's 404 i'm sorry i'm burping this morning i had a protein shake between the pexels and lee making me nervous cocksucker

we don't have a call to s635 i have a call at 710 my buddy greg schmidt's gonna call uh you know he invited me last night i'll tell you is what he called but uh i noticed i got on the scale was like 315 after fucking new allie oh of course you were down there for like five days but let me tell you something let me tell you something they put me up at this hotel okay that was very rustic i guess well that's where they cut the deal for new england for uh the the saints when the saints first came this was the hotel in the 60s this was a

very rustic hotel okay and part of the deal at this hotel is that you could eat there for 10 bucks nice so you know me dog i'm a fucking glutton for punishment i started walking and i walked to the one side one day looking i got some pizza down there was very good at a place called slice i guess bro i got some good food down there yeah now the first day for breakfast i went to some place and i hate fucking eggs on saturday and i had like an omelet and i fucking hate eggs yeah sometimes i just so

that sunday morning i found out somebody said to me they have great breakfast at the hotel so i went to the hotel and i got two eggs to toast two slices of bacon and i got now 10 bucks gets you a seven course breakfast seven course lunch or seven course i'm dead serious people this is this hotel holy shit so i got the uh the oatmeal okay now the best oatmeal in the country and i don't want to know about it you go all over the fucking country is the mandalay bay oatmeal

it's 795 and they make it with cream and you can't eat enough of it but you go right upstairs and shit just like you eat 20 apples it's healthy for you and you eat it straight with maybe a piece of toast and some fucking uh water you know and it's delicious i always eat it when i can't wait to go to vegas to eat oatmeal yeah at this particular place now i don't know if it's the mandalay bay or the other one or the other casino but i think it's the mandalay bay the ruffles i think that's the name of the little hotel thing that they have great fucking oatmeal

this place in new orleans had better oatmeal oh shit i had to get another fucking bowl even the eggs were delicious there were country eggs you could taste the fucking yoke oh nice i didn't eat the butter the fucking bread you know the bread everything then the one day i went in there for some shrimp creole with a salad delicious the flavor delicious uh i had the tuna in there the tuna pan seared tuna nice with the spinach yeah fucking deliciously one night they had the

spaghetti for dinner i swear to god i thought i had valium in it i had called i had called uh chef rom and i had called dan at the firehouse tuesday morning or monday morning go listen depending on the week depending on the the night what time we get out of there i'll come home and wash my post he can give you guys a call and we get together and smoke some dope whatever the one guy's a fireman he can't smoke dope who i love i love that i love dan i love looking at his face you can tell he'll light your fucking house on fire they shut off 20 minutes later

and i meant the way to switch it this morning just left in a fucking rush because i was running late this morning with lee and it's kind of warm yeah it is 90 degrees already i didn't have to bring a jacket or nothing yeah i did bring a jacket it's fucking hotter than hell and uh was i talking about lee lee lee the food you ate in tuesday when you're tuesday i went back to the room one night and i was gonna walk to this place and i was gonna call the chef because chef had barbecue for me oh nice and i got out of the thing at seven o'clock at night

and as i was walking into the hotel the lady was there real cute girl she goes you gotta try the spaghetti tonight she was this black chick that was very cute and i go how good is it and she goes man it's off the fucking chain and i went and i go you know what i'm not even gonna take a shower let me eat the spaghetti and i go upstairs add because the restaurant closes at eight and i was fucking starving yeah it was one of the first movies i had been on that the craft services wasn't that good the crafty was better so craft services

comes in at eight twelve and six for dinner yeah crafty who's there all day making protein shakes and soups and he made a philadelphia cheese steak soup that almost fucking died everything was from scratch this guy was badass he was a cajun mother badass i gotta give props to fucking food all right you know this is the weirdest podcast because it's a fat man alert podcast but we love fucking food we love food we love food and we love good fucking food oh yeah did you have the like the donut things the beignets or whatever that is

oh i tried to watch it you know leon the fat dude that understands i keep it down to proportions like the pasta i ate yeah it definitely put sleeping pills in it but it was a little bold and i had a salad with it you know i'm trying to do like yesterday american airlines whatever delta they come over to basket and they asked me what i wanted they had chips and then i took the out banana yeah we have to try halfway we could still have a little bit of both worlds you follow me i think we're the same way because i've been craving food i don't crave the sweet things i crave

the actual food food i don't crave sweet things at all was that was that the night you called me at like i think it was two or three in the morning our time and you're like i fell asleep at eight thirty yeah i fell asleep i was drooling when i woke up no sleep apnea mask i got up at like two and i went right to bed with my clothes and i put the sleep apnea mask and i woke up at four because of the shirt yeah i was sweating fucking profusiously i could feel the sweat in my fucking back when they changed those sheets or like this guy was sweating

this fucking bed fat man sweat you know a fat man sweat smells different of course it smells like potato chips and fucking salsa and ice cream and taco bell and uh unfucking believable no it's great to be back home i tell you i called my wife the other day and she was telling me that the baby was great everything was great but the cats were acting up cats know timing they know timing okay cats eat at the same time every day cats know when you walk in you know my wife used to work

at about five o'clock demmy's already lurking because he knows he's 30 minutes away he's getting ready for his mom to come on that's funny yeah he starts licking harry they get ready for their mom to come home they're very good with timing and they used to me leaving on thursday and coming back sunday morning i don't lie to people they don't like me out past three nights so thursday friday saturday i threw him off with friday but they were all fucking throwing off like where's he going it's friday there's no work now he can't go nowhere now

by sunday night my wife called she's like they know you're not coming back i go how they know they go because they peed oh shit you know they peed in your room they pissed at you you know so monday night we were talking to me and she goes no no they've been fighting all fucking day because you're not here you're their whole you know i'm with them all i love those animals you know that yeah especially since fucking finney died now fidel it's like the guy it's like the gambino's in 85 when they killed uh when they killed

fucking uh castellano you had john godley's faction and you had you know other factions but since he killed castellano there was no argument but when the uh when the original boss died of the gambino's the the the little guy whatever his fucking name was you know you had the the poor castellano faction and you had the other faction the guy from downtime the uh the lacroche and they didn't know what to do so they had to have a meeting and that's what's going on in my house right now it's between fidel

and it's between sissy really yeah because sissy's been there longer but she's a female so i don't know how it's gonna go down so there's gonna be a war any fucking day in my house that's funny i don't know who's gonna side with who because sissy's always been a loner she's never very popular she's a great cat she's just not popular with the other one she doesn't really play with the other one yeah i i just assumed it would be fidel because he like i always thought he was like i i wasn't there for like i was there for a little bit and fidel's always walking around and meowing

but it's funny how he said like uh he'd let uh finny like attack him and like his finny was like the king so now he's trying to be finny so he's attacking cats wow you follow me so now he's being finny he's not hurting anybody he's just attacking him the way finny used to finny used to fuck fidel up and he was capped to size it was amazing to watch he'd take him down fidel'd be looking at me like i'm like are you fucking crazy you could turn over it's like kane fighting like george rupe it's like some heavyweight fighting like a 145

but that's what it looked like you know him really was talking about fucking cats really fighting what the fuck it's his podcast coming to you know what's happening you're happy to be back you know pretzels vegan i can't eat but uh we fucked up today i think i'm looking at cars today i think what looking at cars today look at you because uh yeah i might i bought this car when i didn't have any credit and i have like five or six percent uh interest or whatever and i've had this car for almost three years and i might not buy anything but i'm thinking about trying to get like a smaller car get better gas mileage get

a little jetta who knows jetta i heard they did good safety rating i don't know i'm gonna look at your ear no i guess i showed you but um i've been looking at it and then i'm also later this week um this week or next week i'm doing that reporter kid speaks did you yeah he contacted me on twitter so it's a good man let me blow my nose here all this shit i took one of those allergy tests you know for like 180 fucking dollars that they tested not with the pins and shit that's uh oh no not with the pins okay they did the blood test okay quest whatever god damn i got a lot of allergies i didn't know about

so i gotta get these drops and the shot and pills i'm allergic to eight million fucking things like i'm allergic to wheat like that's part of the reason why when i whenever i do these diets like i feel better because i'm i i got tested i'm allergic to like wheat tomatoes like nothing really happens except i gain weight and i like get tired and their bags into my eyes but uh allergies suck like i don't really have them here because it's so dry but every time i go back east it destroys me i'm watching yelling you know i'm saying i'm studying you're a fucking savage

i try all right what else what do you got for me you got any music today yeah let's do some uh what do you got for good joy let's do some death leopard oh shit it's friday bitches so miami april 19th next week the 27th of march we're doing a special ice house instead of testicle testments we're doing a live podcast with vinnie fucking curdo oh it's gonna be me you vinnie curdo for an hour and a half talking shit up at the ice house we will put the podcast up we're not charging for it none of that shit it'll still be free it'll be like an extra fucking podcast for you motherfuckers yeah so what you do is you

eat some fucking alpha brain you snort some fucking thc and you listen to the podcast all right and for people who might not remember vinnie curdo is the boxing guy who was on beauty and the beast and it was one of the best podcasts i've ever been involved in yeah like tears we had to stop during the fucking podcast and cry like vinnie curdo is a boxer that's been in movies he sold a few scripts in fact one denero was gonna do play angelo dundee because he was managed by angelo dundee this guy okay vinnie curdo is the real fucking deal in a sweetheart and i got a lot of

respect from one of the best beauty and the beast episodes he did was with him yeah was with him one of we did was with him he was uh he took you into fucking long waters i got tons of emails after that saying hey man you can't have that guy in a fucking show while i'm at work i was crying in my cubicle holy shit so we're gonna do a live one with vinnie fucking curdo and uh i hope you guys come out lease i asked him to do his debut that night no pressurly get your shit together lee by that time you're like 90 pounds fucking lighter i'm hoping you'll be sitting on a leaf

pretty soon you'll be slinging dickly what are you gonna do with your new fucking looks look at you i don't know that's a little jewish you know what i'm trying he's gonna wear the yarmulke with dollar signs in it big big pimping once you got a bmw be one of those crazy jews i can't afford a bmw yes you can you got more money than god i gotta hit under the couch why don't we sell this check on the couch like 20 000 black mark just sell her i like that she's a cute fucking girl yeah she's nice she's very cute very personal how's the job going good she says she she's uh doing good just looking for an apartment and i

believe you woke her up when you licked a little monkey one night i can't do that just the front instead of my gosh that's the best that's your friends you know go over there and pick up a fucking leg and just lick a little monkey nice and soft when she's sleeping right through the underwear just lick that little fucking thong just licking you'll see the monkey open up right in front of you like one of those 3d flowers you know that you'll see how little the first wing will pop out and the thong will be right on that fucking wing you'll see the wing coming to life by itself

then you lick the other wing and the other wing pops out of the thigh and you gotta me you know what i'm saying why do you want me to go to jail i don't understand i want you to go to jail i want you to have a good time i want you to have a good time like i said she's a cutie she likes you she wouldn't be on the couch and she didn't really wasn't gonna pop that fucking jew helmet in her little muffler one night by mistake jesus christ i love getting all wrapped up so this chick's been calling me let's give her the 500 so the podcast ends this time

i'm gonna give her the nickel so she could pee on you you gotta have to a little pee on your forehead listen they just do a special fucking study and filling for you bald guys you rub pee on your head and your follicles open up let this girl pee on your head you have a fucking justin pee by head dude i'd rather be i'd rather be completely handle it with no eyebrows i'm telling you dog let me let this chick let's try it what if she pees on you you start growing here you're like a fucking beetle i'll let you get peed off first

i got a ton of hair i just want you to let me i don't care i'm a married man i can't let no woman pee on me why but you gotta do listen part of this whole fucking night with the fart in the face is her just a squirt a little squirt in your fucking head it's not okay you know to pee on your foot by mistake i probably have but it's my pee that's totally okay same thing you never had pee on your hands and eat a piece of chicken with your pee on your hands yes you did because you're a nasty motherfucker taco

you never pee that work didn't shake your helmet right you had left a little pee on the outside of your finger and you drive the jack in the box and eat three of those fucking sandwiches you never grabbed your no i never grabbed the sandwich with dick hands no no i i i don't eat with pee on my hands i'm not saying that you rob your fucking hands and pee and then take your dick on purpose i'm saying unconsciously you let a little fucking jupy on your finger then you go eat a taco from the taco bell you eat your own pee radioactively what does jupy smell like i don't

fucking know what was i at a jupy bat house you know what i'm saying i'm jumping up and down listening to fucking harry christin music with a bunch of juice peeing on me what do you think i am i don't know i'm a fucking catholic get it together cocksucker i've never had pee on me i pissed on a guy you know what i'm saying i had a fucking disco one time because he wanted that one of those free cows this is what the fuck but this is a woman cut it out yeah you're always so fucking judgmental about that's woman i'm not judging she can pee on anyone she wants

smoke some pond talk about come here take a hit of this shit i don't want to talk about it i don't want to get peed on me i got to shit the argentinian poke smoke when he took the job just listen a little pee on your forehead we'll rub it into the fucking hairdo and you're ready to go what the fuck i won't be ready to go i'll be stuck in a mental asylum going back and forth being like i don't like you don't like you told me a month ago that you want to live you want to start living at the times you feel like you're missing shit you're not going to standard peeing isn't living right

that's a story it's a story i'd rather not have a story sure you want to be sitting around with your sons one day and they're talking about dad what are you doing he but you know let me tell you one time me and my buddy joey jeez he got some fucking black chick to pee on my face wait what why isn't farting enough i think farting is pretty good farting is that's what they do in europe you know what i'm saying people take flights to the face it's so nonchalant but a little peter chrome dome when we rub it in forget about it lee lee what you got put some fucking music on

jeez i don't fucking believe what i gotta deal with i gotta argue with a guy about can you believe this shit oh shit oh shit lee where's the reefer lee you're holding that i mean no we didn't fucking smoke at all you smoked it all weed weed i smoked it all i think the size of this fucking thing here take like two hits and so anyway lee we got a big weekend this weekend let's talk about this okay what's this weekend all the fight this is a good fucking card this weekend

everybody knows everybody's waiting for this fight i love gsp i like everything about he is for the sport he's an ambassador he's great he's a great athlete deez on the other hand is this fucking animal i love it i love it i love it and i'll tell you what uh you have carlos conduit against johnny handrax i'm mad rory's out that that would have been a good fight and you have uh i think rory would have had his fucking hands full with carlos conduit and you've got a nape marquardt against uh

let me look it up ellen burger jake ellen burger who's a great guy and he's got great power in his hands you know i could sit here and give you picks i'm not gonna give you picks i'm just gonna give you fucking psychological shit here what's going on i mean i'm watching deez and all his interviews the interviews the last couple weeks and i gotta say something he's just a guy that wants to fight yeah and you know what some of the shit he was saying i understand because i go through it i went through it he's 29 years old that's how i felt at 29 years old if i

would have been a comic at 29 years old i just want to get on stage i didn't want to write you know you're just a renegade you're just a fucking renegade either you have that in your blood or you don't have that in your blood he taunts you he gets into you do i agree with it yeah i like all that shit yeah i keep my mouth shut now because i'm a pussy i keep my mouth shut 90 percent of the times because i'm a pussy sometimes i let go i'm you know it yeah but for the most part i shut my

fucking mouth because i'm a pussy because i know that these people can't handle it uh in this town that we live in los angeles or in this society we live in even if somebody's fucking up and they know it and you call them you're a negative and you're a bad person yeah you can't say what the fuck you feel or whatever and people don't want some people don't really want to hear the truth you know i listen i've been around for 20 years nobody knows who i am there's a lot of people who don't like me and i like that you

don't like me because it lets me know what the fuck you are i don't fucking like you either because i fucking know that you get bored easily and you like fake shit you don't want to face the fucking truth i don't want you to fuck around me i don't give a fuck yeah i really never ever worried about that you know i wasn't a plane yesterday it was funny i wasn't a plane with this coach this boxing coach and the guys in the movie was behind me that worked on stunts behind me and at the end of the fucking flight some chick comes on like this asian chick

and yet she was a six okay fake tits the whole walk the big diana raw sunglasses thinking that she you know she did some so she sits behind me and she starts that fucking shit that la shit that she's a fucking artist that she travels to all these festivals and you know she lives in LA and northridge but she's thinking of buying a house and nola and you know new orleans and and uh she was headed to san francisco to an artist thing because she's a performance artist and she works this poll like

circus de soleil and all this and i'm looking at this chick and she's an actress you know she's been in this and by the way she's talking i'm looking at this bitch going this bitch has a 60-year-old boyfriend that she's sucking his balls and he's paying for all these playing things that you just see it they've been around those already that they talk a big game and they got some 60-year-old nuts that nobody would touch and they're sucking their balls getting their rent paid and i ain't mad at you for that because you're making it happen

but don't make believe you're fucking something else yeah so she's talking talking talking talking and all of a sudden the guy next to me gets involved in the fucking conversation right and he's talking and he knows what he feels what i feel like this chick's a fucking stroke and she looks at me and she goes i know you from somewhere that's the typical shit i'm like how are you my love and i look astray and i go you know what you're a fucking animal aren't you the dog was like it was like i took her fucking money away

she just froze i don't know what the fuck you were talking about but we all know here you're a fucking savage i go alright i go you're so fucking i go that monkey so fucking strong they're flying you went and she just looked at me and i go you're japanese and she goes no i'm vietnamese i go with that fucking napalm pussy i told her right to her face and that was the end of the conversation she didn't say a word the rest of the fucking flight and the guy next to me was like i love it he goes that's why

you get along with justin fortune this australian guy that's mutual friends he goes because you guys cut right through the fucking chase listen if i had 500 in my pocket i would have told miss vietnam to suck my dick right there in the fucking third row and she would have fucking sucked it that's the freak she was she's trying to be something else a circus desole you know what turn up to some fucking college kid that don't fucking know a frequently sees what fucking momo's making believe i hate that word artist i always have because yeah i write and do comedy whatever i'm no

fucking artist i'm an ex-fallow man i talk shit i'm a fucking artist these people that call themselves fucking artists you better give yourself a fucking breather all right take that picture of the pigeon you drove looking at the moon and break it over your head you're no fucking artist all right the fuck out of here i got a studio in soho listen listen get your shit together all right tell your dad to stop writing checks what would you be doing you'd be selling that little asshole on 42nd feet for $50 a pop and for an extra 10 they sniff it get it together cocksucker

stop faking the funk you fucking momos it's america you bad motherfuckers get up it's friday lisa lost 52 fucking pounds for you motherfuckers at home i can't do it lisa i had drinking fucking carrot juice and kale yeah it's fucking i'd rather be in isolation by myself talking to the fucking wall after day five it's not bad after the kids it's the tough first five days but then now i'm i'm fine i love you and i'm very proud of you thank you buddy

let me too and we got a coke man oh shit what's up buddy it's my little brother greggy what's happening buddy not a whole lot they're making a making a cup of green tea all right look at you you don't drink the coffee you just drink the green tea well you know i i gotta stay away from the coffee the blood pressure is a little high so when you drink coffee it raises your blood pressure that's what the doctor's found me really he's saying everything right

nothing he's no good no salt no coffee you know my blood pressure has been off the chain the last three months and even though i go to the acupuncture i take the medication i do everything for it i try to exercise i didn't know the coffee was because i like my coffee in the morning but i just drink one cup it's not like i'm drinking fucking 92 cups i don't have it every day but um my daughter drinks a lot of tea and um i'm on the medication pill but it's it was helping in the beginning and now it's not helping i gotta go back next week and see what the hell is going

on no i uh i'm scared of it but i'm not i'm you know i'm latin so my blood pressure is always running fucking high since i was a kid you know when i first got diagnosed with blood pressure when i went to the can when i got locked up that's the first time i've ever heard about blood pressure they put me on something in there and whatever but it wasn't really high now i'm like at the one fucking eighties over 120s when but i also have white collar whatever the fuck so once they take my blood pressure you wait

20 minutes in the doctor's office and once i get talking they check my blood pressure and i'm fucking back to like 140 over 90 or something so how you doing greggy what's going on not a whole lot my daughter just my youngest just left the school how old is she uh uh she'll be 18 in like two weeks okay yeah she's a senior in high school she's graduating and then my oldest is i told her is graduating usc uh in may so you know i've known greg for 40 years you know uh we grew up

together he's cousins to another caller on the show danie b uh that's how that's how tight we are well that much connected in this town and uh greg uh invited me to his daughter's graduation she's graduating from usc with double mages and he's very proud and he should be but it was funny greg and i were talking last night in the middle of conversation he says he wanted to call and do the podcast and i go call tomorrow because we're gonna talk about something i knew greg 35 years ago 35 years ago right now i was just

bringing you back to the base in the Bronx with three other gorillas in the car doing our last line before before we dropped you off and and did you ever think that at that time there was any way that we would be having this conversation 30 years from now no no not at all do you think when i was in that car 30 years ago i'd be saying to you do you think 30 years ago when you were getting out of that car i'd be saying to you hey man after this line i'm gonna get it together i'm gonna have a movie and shoot a movie with deniro in 30 years did you ever think that

that's where i was you know greggy i was in new orleans i played deniro's boxing coach did you know that greg i thought he was down there doing a couple of shows i didn't know you were doing a movie no i did a couple shows but i did a movie called grudge match with solvestist alone robert deniro l l cool j kevin hart and you know what i'm very proud because i worked with the two best guineas ever now i just gotta get al Pacino in there and i worked with the fucking trio now i gotta start working with the jews again i got sandler allen arkand now i gotta get some other people but 30 years ago i didn't think i was gonna say as

we did that you know when you do coke you talk all that garbage man yeah after tonight i'm never gonna do it again i'm gonna go to acting class and i'm gonna do something with my life i never said that to you i never said that to you i told you i was probably gonna get my life together and move to colorado but it's just really weird when we're in our lives right now what we're doing and where we were and i want you to tell these people that we had belief brother yeah i'm i'm so excited for you i'm telling you i am i i love telling people i went to school with that guy

it's like when i went to see up at ontario tonight i found those two nice ladies out there and uh you always find nice ladies greg yeah yeah 50 years old i still got it he still got it but uh i was like hey you want to you guys want to go to the show i know the guy i went to school with him like shut up i'm like no come on and and then uh you called me and we went in the back door i would have taken him home but they're they're my daughter's age

felt like a dirty old bastard oh you are dirty old bastard but it's just weird the things we saw greg did you ever i mean greg i gotta be honest with you i after i got off the phone with you i started thinking at that time if i would have killed myself would blow i think i would have been happy like i i gotta be honest with you at that time in my life and we were doing we're talking about 84 83 yeah 85 when cocaine was still cocaine and i had that fucking pain from my mother and the pain of not knowing not knowing you're 20 years old and you didn't we didn't know we didn't know what our next

fucking step was and i thought about after going off the phone a lot of us i got really caught up in it bad was because of uh some type of pain in our lives that was just buried so that was our escape you know getting getting all banged up but fucking all of us i mean you know kanthi always had that pain about his dad leaving yep you know fernie i mean it was just a hollow way you know it was just so many of us that were involved in that and i tell you man at that time it was like i was just snorting to die like i thought i would have an od and

just die and that would be the end of it i'd be with my mother and father and have never have to worry about it i never thought about 30 years i never thought about being in a union i mean after you got out of all that did you have belief greg i mean what kept you going why aren't you snort coke today why aren't we snorting coke with tattoos on telling stories till eight in the morning why aren't we doing that today you know i just got sick of it i mean i didn't need any rehab or anything like that it was actually when my ex-wife was pregnant with my first

daughter and i i was out on a binge for a few days and then i just looked at myself in the mirror and i said what the fuck am i doing i got a kid coming into this world it was like that's when i stopped being irresponsible when uh she was probably about six months pregnant and then i it was after that i looked in the mirror and i just said i'm done and that was it and i never went back never never not once no rehab no hugs no meetings no bongo drums

no fucking people crying you just made a decision and you stuck to it and you know uh it's so weird man when i fucking make it you know they say that people from northern italy have hard heads germans have hard heads let me tell you something when i make a fucking decision it's done there ain't no fucking coming back a lot of little in or and uh it's just amazing that you talk to people i talk to people now that i've been in rehab eight times and they're still drinking my friend called me the other day three in the afternoon

uh uh new awliens time which is one o'clock at late time ham it ham it meanwhile she's in an outpatient program i don't get it i don't get i don't get you know the rehabs are a bunch of shit dude they don't even work there's less than a five percent success rate with the rehabs you know it it's all about they they fuck what you had they tell you you have this disease and you have it for the rest of your life and it's bullshit it there's no disease concept it's a you know you wake up you make a fucking

choice every day either gonna make a choice i'm gonna get loaded or i'm not you know i'm gonna suck dick or my i'm gonna get my dick sucked that's all it is to me no hey listen man i went to a rehab when i was in prison when they had me in the halfway house i was still selling blow and i talked them into fucking putting me in an outpatient which i was selling blow and getting my dick sucked at the outpatient the girl's name was patrice twiney and i would look at her she would look at

me and we'd go outside and she sucked my dick and we'd go right back into the group meeting she'd have that sperm breath and we'd talk about whatever the fuck pain she had in the heart with that sperm breath and i was a joke to me it was a fucking all that shit was a joke to me when i divorced my wife they made me take p-test i got to the fucking guy who got p-test and said listen test me for everything except blow and reefer and he went for it i would you know it never ended eight balls looking under counters when i was in bolder my drug disease was

horrible and i took it to seattle and then once i came here it hit an all time fucking high and i couldn't wait to do comedy and get the fuck out it was like i had a firecracker in my ass i would get on stage and right from the stage go to the car i would stop by the fucking dude's house and right to the house to snort and that was my life and it was like in the back every time you do it it seems like yeah i want to fucking die that's what it is you want to die you're putting yourself in that death range

so i don't know greg we're lucky to be here my friend yes we are there's so many so many close stories we could tell i mean i could tell you you probably got a lot more than i do but so many so many and when you say we're lucky to be alive you're not kidding dude you really are not kidding and if it wasn't if it wasn't to blow that little he's going to kill us it was the lifestyle we were living you know we could have got shots they have anything you know

i remember robin a guy in westerner over on answer down avenue bro i remember jumping the rules when the fucking dea stomped one of the crack houses i was in with the angelo and chris costa we were getting a quarter ounce and they just fucking stormed in the fucking building and we went up to the roof and just started hopping the roofs and we made it out of that believe it or not no no one of many stories i told this on stage at the testicle testament the story about gabi lan my godfather who i fronted two ounces four ounces six

ounces of blow on halloween night and took at the askelis's basement and we did i snorted till fucking wednesday greg from saturday to like wednesday i was in the hotel room just sleeping for fucking two days and i finally got up to tiktok on tunley avenue the tip top with the jacuzzi at the hindu zoned and i walked up that hill and he started chasing me with a motorcycle and i had to go through the bushes at our lady of fatima and i had the rose bushes out there and i ripped

all my skin up and i went to hashways and they came in the hashways to get me this guy and he was yelling and screaming he was crazy human guy and he told me he was going to shoot me and then pete leib called me one day like three months later he's like dog i was at a party and they were these cute yeah this is three months later thinking about it i was going to ask you about him last night at the head of pete leib and my little mcguire no man i had to stop talking to them well this is what happened i was very tight with

pete leib and uh i got into work for hashways i borrowed 200 bucks from mariela mcguire from my daughter she was my original daughter's godmother mariela mcguire and pete leib did you know that they were jackalins godparents they came out the ball to baptize the child we were always friends and when i was in a hole i asked mariela for 200 bucks like uh february of 90 i asked for 200 bucks february of 92 i asked for 200 bucks for the baby she goes do you need anything for the party i go if you could

send 200 so i could cater the party for the baby it'd be fun she was the godmother then in 94 when i was working on hashways doing comedy when i went back to jersey she approached me one day and she goes you still owe me 200 hours from the whatever and i was like i thought it was a gift and i paid her the money i didn't say none then when i got into the beef with hashway they took hashway side and called my ex-wife and said i was snorting coke so i never talked to them again ever again the

peri-vigiano story let me tell you something about that fucking douchebag i always hated him when we were kids me and runny were talking about you know runny called the podcast about a month ago which one steve of mic mic i've had my call steve is retired i'm trying to get him out here do set security but uh one night uh peri peri got into a fucking fight out here peri got into a fight at hudson county park with some guy rocko that owned uh rocky that owned a diner in fair view by hudson county park one night and the guy beat the shit out of him and it was

over that girl peggy ass if it was over his girlfriend and peggy and he started that girl and he wanted me to jump in against this guy and i'm all fucked up and i'm like i'm not jumping this is your beef so he told people i was a pussy and i always got pissed off about that i'm like i was in a fight for you peri you fucking fucking piece of shit he was like a rich kid his dad was a gangster and he started selling blow in 84 and one night he saw me some blow and it was fucking cut you know like really bad like you know

when you did blow in 84 it was fucking tremendous what we were doing it was all like nasitol and i told him and he told me to fuck off so i robbed him you know in those days if you told me to fuck off and you were a drug dealer i went over there in the morning you know his aunt lived in the house uh well she was like sick and she lived in the house i walked in the house with the aunt there that's how lightfooted i was went all the way to the attic took like an eight wall or half ounce that he had and walked out he lived in the attic and about an hour later i went i did it

right because it was right down the corner from hashways so i stole his blow he had cash there i walked up to the hashways i told hashway i was broke i needed money to to go home that was the setup right there because that's where perry would go first he would go there looking for me to ask if i was around so i went to hashways and borrowed money that was a psychology i got on the fucking i had a ride home i lived on 43rd street then bison sulo and george ketter in those guys downtown yeah he had a

helene ketter just passed away bro who did george sista helene what did she die of i don't know they um she went to the hospital like a week ago and uh she passed away you know who told me carry vial anix told me bro that's where you know i used to date helene ketter yeah today today is the week at reverie at reverie at reverie funeral home in north bergen that's where they had my mother reverie funeral home why was she why she had the speck fucking funeral parlor i don't know

everybody goes to the nearest i didn't know what george put out on the facebook oh my god i feel so bad i dated her in the eighth grade that's who that's the first girl that gave me 11 when my mother died she came over to house that that week we were tight me and helene ketter she was beautiful she had blue eyes but she was troubled and she started doing drugs and when i last saw her she didn't look good at all like 20 years ago she had gone from a to c and i talked her on facebook and uh you know she was still friendly to me and stuff i'm really sad i'm not

to send george ketter was a good fucking dude we played a lot of basketball together good basketball so fucking perry i take the eight ball and i give some to runny so i got protection right right off the bat i go run because runny hated perry vigiano he beat him up once in 51st street park so i waited for perry by my house i left the window open and perry i heard the motorcycle pull up and i hear that it was like i had his i knew exactly how he thought he was such a fucking moron

and he went to my house and i left the window open he stuck his foot in right greg and when he put his head in the in the window when his head popped up i came up and i punched him right in the fucking face and he's like you're going up to see my aunt she's going to let me know if you were the one that robbed my house she said she saw you from behind and when i went up there the aunt goes no it wasn't him so till this day perry and i don't give a fuck i'll sit in the podcast what's he gonna do beat me up i'll fucking stab in the neck man what's he gonna fucking do to me i don't give a

fuck fucking douche bag that he was he was a fucking cocksucker then he's probably a cocksucker now so greg we had a lot of fucking good times and shit man and at least we're still living i mean uh kurt dilorenzo was fucking you know he's got one foot in the grave one a banana peel half of those guys down there in miami had done and uh i'm really proud of you greg it's what he was doing but a digger digger sent me a text a while back and he said uh

i guess you you had done a show there it was a while ago not the one that you just did but he said that he went to see you and had a good time yeah kurt's doing better now that's what he told me in a text message well he's not drinking he's not doing heroin you know he's eating pills he's drinking i mean when you see kurt it's like a life thrown away when you see kurt dilorenzo you understand how lucky you are because when we were kids kurt was the best-looking kid around he was in shape he had money

he had a family he was like fucking all rocked out he was such in good shape and you know one of the best wrestlers in the high school and he you know he was so like he would never fuck around you couldn't even get up to drink a beer and if you see him now you can't even believe he's kurt last time i saw him in i heard that the fucking wind blows he'll fall over you can't even believe it when i went to his house i could not but this kid used to be the cleanest kid in the world he didn't have a shower curtain he didn't

have a kitchen he had sold all the appliances out of the kitchen all it was was a refrigerator and beer bottles it's uh so listen man i had you calling today just to show where we started and where we got to because we're fucking lucky greg we're fucking lucky man you know that guy that used to own john marries was a loan shark a big-time mob loan shark with another friend of ours i owe that guy like 40 000 dollars oh george yeah george of the jungle yeah he used to give me loans and a check and

i would have to take him to a certain bank cash him and the bank guy would take his piece out this is how connected george of the jungle fucking was so if he'd give me a check for 500 i'd get 450 because the guy at the bank would take his 50 dollars off the top of cash and a check for you at the bank and then he's supposed to cash and i had to pay 750 on five you know how many times i went to him and said listen greg schmidt got tasia pregnant and she needs an abortion and she's ashamed to borrow the 500

lend me the five give me a commission and i'll give it to tasia under my name and he would keep giving it to me me and kanthi had george at like maybe 25 000 a piece i remember a cop coming in there one night i think you were there one night for john kelly's birthday one of those and an undercover cop came in and he flashed his badge they bought us an ice cream cake but there was eight balls of coke so nobody was eating at the end of the night the ice cream cake was fucking melted nobody had touched it

i remember she had the dog lila we used to piss on the dog was there that night runny was there everybody was fucking there and this cop came in and he got all fucking crazy and he like fucking come kiss me that night let me tell you something i seen runny throw a beer bottle one night at the busamante's and a bunch of people in there one night it was fucking classic he ripped up his sheet i seen some great shit go down in there but this one night i see an undercover cop flashed fucking george and george goes let me see the badge and what your name is on it and the guy put

it close in bed george spit on the fucking badge he goes you better go back to your priest and ask him around who the fuck you're showing the badge then walked on the guy i saw it one time i was leaving joan mary's and you know we went to school with this guy and he wound up staying on the force remember john sanford john no john sanford no i don't became a cop with all you've done to joey rail and all of them and canella no yeah he was in my fucking home no i don't remember i don't remember

i don't remember them at all i remember the other guys you might we were just talking about the rail brothers and yeah but uh yeah i was coming out of joey mary's one time and he like fucking started harassing me and shit like fucking did it like a little pat down in a search and i'm like john really come on bro all of a sudden you're a cop now and you're fucking that you know anyway he kind of let me go when he said you better watch this place is going down that place never went down the place is still there

it's a Spanish place now jose and maries used to be joan mary's now it's jose and maries and it used to be it used to be next to one of the chicken joints john collin used to work in that he bring buckets of fucking chickens in the night that was the best bar in the world do you remember the fucking undercover cop that started going up there and giving us blow and he would take us back to his house and show us the jewelry he was looking for us to rob him and like a year later somebody killed them so they started hanging out at joe mary's because they thought they killed

them then that's when i left that's basic when i left his black guy that would take us up to fort lee and i think i was already gone i had already left i left in 87 oh i left in 84 and then came back in 80 i left in 83 came back in 84 kept the party alive till new years and then left in june of 85 and the last day i left i was leaving a people's express and i took a bus to white castle and i was going to take a bus from white castle to jersey city to roger hollow it was taking me to the airport and as i was standing right

there's how lucky i am to be alive i'm standing by the white castle and gabby the guy i fronted the fucking coke from a year early october for halloween that threatened to kill me that peat lead told me that some people were talking about part of some cuban guys looking for cocoa that was the cuban guy i'm standing there on the corner waiting for the bus and his motorcycle pulls up next to me he flashes his face up and he goes you never gave me that fucking money did you and it was my godfather and he goes the next time i see him i'll put a bullet in your fucking leg and i thought he went home to get

the gun right there because i had luggage i figured he knew i had time i had luggage next to me i was leaving i was going back to colorado and i was never fucking coming back but greg i'm happy you call thing i'm very proud of you and i'm very proud that uh i love you at all my fucking heart and i'm happy you uh you have two daughters and everything changed for you and uh here we are i'll actually be in north bergen on the uh we're leaving my just being my oldest we're going for a week

uh we'll be there on the fourth of may i'm going to go visit dandy b and see some family we're just a gay man just to hit these motherfuckers with some things the new president of the cia is from north bergen grew up in north bergen went to school at st joe's or west new york william freach who was the investigator on the pain state thing who was also in charge of the fbi is also from north bergen also went to st joe's or west new york so not all bad my brother went to taint joe's and not all fucking savages came from st joe's oh please

st joe's is the stuff my father got thrown out of high school for what's that dealing condoms bro this was in the 50th he was a condom dealer he was selling condoms in fucking high school and catholic high school and they expelled him we want to get a piece of pussy in that we got to call greg's father i love you cocksucker give jay more hug i will i will and i'll see you before the 17th man i'm proud of you stay black all right coco love you buddy i love you buddy all right bye bye that's a crazy motherfucker i'm very sad about that helene cating girl

see that's what i'm saying that's crazy she was two years younger than me three years younger than me i met her at a john bendis pool and we were always tight with each other we always kissed and shit like that so she was uh quite the whatever unbelievable good podcast today i'm happy you're a part of it today thanks it's great to be back here and be with you people monday we go back to the same rotation monday and wednesday i'm in sacramento next thursday friday saturday get your motherfucking tickets miami april 19th the ice house chronicles live uh ice house uh testicle testament is lee myself and vini curto a live podcast bam and remember what i told you just because

it's march fucking 15th like me i'm starting today today i'm going to kickboxing and water i'm back that's it it's over but it's never too late go to on it you want to lose some weight you want to keep fucking your bones in shape your fat fuck get the hemp protein start off with that start off like just start off with the strong bone give that three weeks and just walk around for three weeks if it don't work say joey you're a sack of shit but it's gonna work you're gonna feel better about yourself get out there walk breathe it's beautiful i know it's cold joe get the fuck out there cock suckers hit me with some music i love you man thank you very much for supporting the fucking podcast all my fucking shout outs i love you motherfuckers new allines

you are gentlemen's dan fucking chef rob i love you knowla jake i'll catch you down there next time but not that i was avoiding you guys it's just i was shooting a movie and nobody knew where the fucking hours were but i love you guys lee keep juicing you're looking good you're healthy i'm proud of you cock sucker you make you're stuck to it and that's what it's all about it we talked about it i put the same fucking videos up but i do it every day little commitments become big commitments get out there tell somebody to suck your dick today it's a beautiful day to be alive stay black hit it lee since i've been loving you my life's even changed cock sucker hit it you