Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 03/20/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #64

Episode Date: March 21, 2013

MMA fighter and all around great guy Conor Heun calls in to the podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Streamed live on 03/20/2013

oh shit oh my fucking god it's Wednesday March 20th March 20th motherfuckers not June 2nd not fucking January 8th it's March fucking 20th what have you done so far this fucking year 2013 here we are motherfuckers the church what's happening now it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive I got my little brother Lisa I add over there 55 fucking pounds lighter 58 get it right I'm drinking water fucking carrots and a blender like a fucking on a Molly but he's making it happen look at his smallest back you don't have those bags under his eyes looking like fucking young Frankenstein kick that motherfucker Lee

little scorpions there little animal magnetism are you kidding me or what break out the quail loose oh my god love me till I die you fucking kidding me or what yeah heavy way to start the day we ain't fucking around here today it's Wednesday you got no time to fuck around most people it's the middle of the week get the fuck out of here it's Wednesday just another day to go out and stab a motherfucker oh shit kick that motherfucker Lee you know how they have people who record the GPS is for cars I want you to record a alarm clock they'll play a song and say something like that whatever

you want me to do they don't really put this e-cigarette in your eyeball listen to this shit this is the real fucking scorpions I think it's not Michael Shanklin the guitar it's Rudolph Shanklin I think the brother and the other guy clouds whatever that bunch of fucking Germans I love it are you fucking get turn that shit off I might stab somebody what's happening brother not much been feeling great thinking about you feeling good what's happening out there and fucking podcastville we're back bitches we're back that's right we never fucking left Joey Diaz his main fucking partner in crime Lee Sayada the Jewish

descent that's how I like them everybody all right everybody beautiful today get up jerk off wash your ass do some jumping jacks they're waiting for you out there's an asshole waiting for you to fuck suck well throw a tic-tac in something you know what's up Lisa yeah talk to me how's the juice and go it's going great but I had a something weird having last night I felt I felt bad about it like I felt I don't really feel guilty that much but I felt guilty what I'm taking a trip in a couple weeks and I'm taking a trip just Vegas for the weekend but I'm leaving right after work and I'm gonna drive there and I was like

oh I'll stop and get food and I got really excited about stopping at McDonald's and getting food and I don't want I know I'm not supposed to be bad but like I got I was like I was looking forward to it it's over you're not doing it no more and then but like an hour and like I've been thinking about this for like a week because I'm like doing nothing but craving food but last night I was sitting there was like if I just went to Ralph's or anywhere and got some turkey and made some turkey sandwiches and even even if I had a bag of chips that would take a lot that just as much time be cheaper and it'd be easier and like I felt guilty

for wanting like for wanting it like it's I mean you lost all the way that I did the McDonald's yeah no more McDonald's that's out of your mindset it's like me with cocaine it's out of your life yeah but you you I mean we with cocaine with what you did with weight too I mean you must have like the cravings and it's just I felt guilty for having them I was hungry last night fucking starving when I stay home and I don't do comedy on those type of nights like last night could have done comedy but the problem is I get home at 12 1231 then it takes me an hour to fall asleep then I gotta come back here at five yeah

I don't want to do that to the people I don't want to do it to myself and I'm running all fucked up all day so I stopped doing comedy on Tuesday so last night I was home and again Lee I had two fucking apples and a knife of peanut butter and I went to bed yeah I have cravings every night and but I tell you how I take care of my cravings you ready for this yeah nothing's gonna be worth it nothing's really gonna be that's why I say I don't understand when you put like I always say the when I was in Jersey I would go to the Berkshire dining get a steak sandwich deluxe which is chop steak on two pieces of toast mildly toasted

with butter yeah so the gravy goes into the fucking steak and the french fries that's what I want to eat at 12 o'clock and then our burger ain't gonna cut it for me yeah I mean now ain't gonna cut it for me I don't really like those fries I don't like any of those fucking fries anybody gives you I do like five guys fries oh yeah you can't get those at midnight or 11 o'clock now on the tool what's really important is you know who's got the best fries and fucking all of California you know that dirty fucking dingy store on on microchip up the block from the haha it's like a little hut have you ever eaten in there I think

I know what you're talking about yeah they have a little steak sandwich and they have a chicken teriyaki for lunch I mean the chicken teriyaki you take your life in your own hands with you there's a lot of colors that I've never seen on the chicken unless this fucking chicken grew up in the Bahamas or something like that yeah but their steak sandwich is delicious but their fries are off the road I don't mean to throw you off what I'm trying to say to you is nothing is worth it and that's what I thought about with the turkey no chips you know that that's no chips that's weight watches two pieces of whole grain toast or bread

a little turkey a piece of Swiss little mayonnaise and that's it you eat half of it you put the other half down you eat an apple or pear or Chinese apple you put that down then you eat the other half yeah you know a subway I fucking hate subway I fucking hate subway but if you're starting a diet subway is good because you you will usually eat a foot long yeah I could do a foot long and a half of course you know I'm saying I mean I ain't got a bullshit but I'll do a six inch with a half a bag of chips and a Diet Coke because I can't eat a fucking sandwich like that with water I'll fucking hang myself hang myself and I

hate Diet Coke but you drink what you drink yeah and I feel bad talking about it because I don't want to be boring but I mean the reason the way I liked podcasts years before I did this one is I like what people are honest and it's it's what I'm thinking about and it's just I never really feel guilty but I felt guilty for like an hour yesterday thinking about it you have to but there's nothing wrong with thinking yeah there's nothing wrong with dreaming and I rather you say to me Joey on the way out of fucking town I want to stop at the garlic restaurant take a meal to go yeah you know like I told you yesterday and

I'm the and I'm the most guilty of this but I find this out when I travel last week I was in New Orleans yeah I would love to go get fucking redfish a piece of red snapper with two eggs that look at that and the only sausage oh yeah pieces of toast I sell it for the oatmeal I had the fucking oatmeal that's a sacrifice yeah and I made that oatmeal tastes like pussy I mean it tastes like a good piece of ass I mean it tastes like a T-bone steak you follow me so don't ever worry about that there's always substitutes that's what I never knew either I never knew there was options either when you're a fat fuck like we

are we don't want options no now we went to Rouse but we couldn't find a parking spot you kidding there's always a parking spot at the supermarket you know saying yeah so don't ever feel ashamed of that man I listen I dream of fucking steaks oh yeah I dream of a T-bone steak and a big fucking potato but I'll tell you what when I was a kid people would say to me hey Joey wait till you get old and you metabolize them oh fuck you dog your metabolism slows down only when you don't you know let me tell you something I do everything I can I do everything I can I walk the baby in the daytime I tell you what I've been doing

lately I've never did before the lip lip the epileptical oh elliptical yeah the electrical fucking machine you know somebody said didn't Joe had always told me it doesn't put that much pain on your knees I have a little pain on my knees I've been eating the strong bone again since I'm not I started doing the epileptical a week before I left for for no no no I started in New Orleans okay at the hotel they had a one and it's funny how I was always there's a guy at the YMCA in Hollywood that this motherfucker is always on but he goes into like a trance and he's he's redone his body wow like his body was a body

built his body big on top he's lost 60 70 pounds he's a dormant he's a dormant studio city at one of the bars the cheese little bars on on a Ventura there yeah and whenever I drive by my my wife I see him he's a white dude he used to be in male porn like he used to be a porn guy and then he changed his life around and he's the one that's always talked to me at the Y about the epileptical and I tell you what my arms are fucking hurting the middle of my back hurts you know I started on there for five minutes Lee went on there five fucking minutes I was huffing and puffing I was dizzy I was cursing everybody out now I'm up to 30

minutes yesterday 30 minutes I want my wife yesterday to a mommy and me thing at the watch that's awesome so she went to mommy and me and I went over to the fucking to the elliptical well I did the bite for 20 yeah I did the dolce dive for 20 to run mm-hmm two minute walk and 30 second run and I did the dirty on the political not always fucking done yeah I went home my wife made fucking scallops with shrimp around oh nice my big salad I've been in the day with a salad you know I don't know why I wake up in the morning take a nice shit it comes out in the apples last night I woke up this morning at 430

basically this shit I heard Fidel go meow look at the clock I go you know what I got a half hour to sleep and I go fuck it and I could feel it in my stomach and those are those two apples oh I didn't get on the scale you cuz I'm gonna scale on Sunday let's see what the fuck happens you know let's see what the fuck you got to try guys you got to try at home that's it no more fuck you know the country's going through this obesity shit that I've never really understood because we're eating shitty food they just voted that down in New York right the big soda tax let me tell you that is the worst fucking thing I've

ever heard in my life then voting it down no it's just a whole fucking idea yeah just a whole fucking syndrome of the that you blame it a big and this guy comes out with something to every fucking day now it's a cigarette in New York but if you know anything about Bloomberg he's done a great job in New York he really does he's cleaned it up but hey man I grew up in New York in the fucking mid 70s when I showed you pictures there was garbage on the fucking streets it was everything yeah if you want to watch a really good movie to see how dirty New York was watch our Latin thing by the funny all-stars it's on

YouTube they broke it up into nine fucking pieces and look at the street scenes that it's filthy New York is a miracle now compared to it but you charging big money for big fucking things the soda is ridiculous all those soda does kill you I mean the guy's got a point you know when I was a kid my mother had the bar yeah so we would just buy all the soda from the bar and bring it home of course we would should build it to the bar and have my refrigerator upstairs you should have seen it it had coke seven up cans back all the way like 35 of each yeah coke seven up my dad but which is a Cuban

soda okay don't bet which is I am be another Cuban soda and that ran deep and after that was just Heineken's yeah my house my mother was a Heineken drink and then she had 20 of them in the freezer and she'd pop them open mix them with fucking tomato juice so whatever the fuck that oh I grew up on soda oh yeah fuck lemonade my mother made lemonade nice tea from time to time if you wanted iced tea it came in a container in a paper container that you opened up like milk container oh you know that in the old days before Snapple and shit it came in a little thing there was like a missing fat kid on there have you seen

this missing fat fuck last scene going to McDonald's or whatever where's the reefer Lee cocksucker where do you hold that on me I'm the one holding out yeah I don't know what happens to that joint we roll you smoked it no no I roll two of them Lee don't people you always try to trick me cocksucker where is it I don't know Lee don't mess with me today my emotions I got shit to do unless that the thing went into the keyboard or whatever no I don't think it's that small what's up oh this joint was gigantic look at the sizes fucking bat and I brought the bubblegum today THC bubblegum yeah I puked when you had me when I was

eating and I'm not eating that he's coming he's like you have two pieces of this just one little piece of bubblegum one little piece of bubblegum I'll pass out what you need you're gonna take a nap I'll leave anyway I won't make it to the nap the fuck you go on this fucking eating trees and now you want you don't eat a piece of fucking TAC will come with Uncle Joey what the fuck what's the world coming time it's horrible hmm I smoke some part of it huh huh it's the morning why you acting like this you didn't drink no coffee here I don't drink oh you can't smoke and I know you

said what the fuck you think I'm talking about I don't know I don't know it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive cocksuckers for you fat fat man alert fat man alert you go to New York and drink soda like it's a fucking or you could drink bar that guys don't want to go to New York now because they can't drink so there's a fuck well let me ask you this what they said was one of the reasons why they turned it down or one of the reasons when they were talking about it was that it wouldn't you you could still buy like two or three sodas you just couldn't buy anything bigger what would a band stop you when

you just get a couple more sodas if you wanted it you know man sometimes you figure out where these fucking people get their thoughts wrong yeah cocaine was 100 a gram it didn't stop nobody no didn't stop anybody there's a town in Massachusetts that banned bottled water good for them good for fucking them finally somebody's these the real scam and fucking life is ridiculous I like on the test bottle water and see how clean that fucking water is I'm sure it's not even see what swamps they get it from and what I want to see the fucking glacier I want to see the fucking glacier they get this water from I don't

believe this shit either but the water is filthy the way in three years won't be able to drink the fucking water from the ocean they tell you now what they put in it what have they been putting in it for the last three thousand fucking years oh yeah well look I could read the there's a ingredients on isn't there oh there should be Ralph's doesn't put it on there so water business they're on the fucking water business now you go to the dentist he's in the water business absolutely dentists in the fucking water but the dental bottles have his name he gets the water from some fucking faucet give us

see that bullshit with ten ten a pelt pen and teller no I had an episode of bullshit where they actually went to a water bar in Beverly Hills oh yeah and they did in the back out of a tub or something I heard about that I don't fucking know and these idiots believe you know you but you know what if you're gonna act like an idiot we're gonna keep treating you like an idiot whether it's buying iPhones every four months whether it's fucking buying remastered and redigitalized movies for the eighth time yeah you know they keep reselling beetle albums and these idiots keep fucking by the way I will tell you

something just we got a little baked I was trying to write that love Omar okay trying to redo my body on a bunch of shit and I was listening to fucking the Beatles sergeant Peppers lonely hearts club man are you fucking kidding me when you put the Beatles on now today people if you if you're not a beetle friend listen I don't give a fuck I'm not gonna get mad at you if you think I got posters of fucking Ringo and John on my wall you're mistaken if you think I grew up with posters of Ringo and John on my wall you're fucking mistaken also but do me a favor today in your spare time either put revolver on Abbey Rhodes or

let it be put on one of those fucking albums and see what these guys really were about because you're gonna listen to me go Joey what the fuck you talking about I want you to think it was 1966 it was 30 years ago today what are you fucking kidding me I mean that's sergeant Peppers was so good and see a lot of people know the history at that time they will listen to this shit they were lying to people oh shit listen to this shit are you fucking kidding me it was 30 years ago today 20 years ago today whatever who the fuck knows I've been smoking dope for 545 what have you done with your life

listen to that rawness it's 1966 789 this is 40 something fucking years old these guys revolutionized music and when you listen to this you're gonna say to yourself oh my god I thought fucking tool and then no I don't paint Floyd no the fucking Beatles and meant that all these shit all these shit noises everything they weren't fucking around so do me a favor you're not doing nothing today put the one out revolver Abbey Rhodes I don't give a fuck what I'm to listen to your history everybody wants to read about history let's see who laid it

down in music these are the guys right there did you ever see that movie they did it was like a long hard night or whatever that was a great movie the hell you know now you're watching you know what the fuck was I think I was like watching the monkeys that's that's a weird scam I we a bunch of this stuff I watched in school is about the 70s and stuff like that about film history and the monkeys was a made-up band that went crazy like popular like I don't even understand how that's pop how that's possible you know and studios to them friends with a guy that I think the drummer Mickey Dolan's okay his friends

with so every time the guy would do something that fucking knucklehead would show up with his little fucking hat on like he thought he was the drummer he thought he was like fucking John Bonham he drives me crazy and every time I the guy calls me for a meeting for something I was we're putting this together we're gonna have Mickey from that what the fuck are you doing and then when they they wouldn't play together who the fuck knows they did a reunion thing who gives a fuck I was a green one fan of fucking to be those the monkeys oh geez you're gonna smoke some of this to me I just did smoke you got me over your solo

burns and calories come over here with your uncle Joey it's a beautiful day to fucking be alive is that your plan just this game to get me to work out walking back and forth why not you're gonna have to go to the work out eventually I know you can't do this drink a fucking pineapples and plume trees eventually you're gonna have to go see the bitch I know you don't want to do it you don't like it you know you think women might take it in the ass no but they do it because I got to pay the rent luckily I don't have to pay the rent by working out oh eventually you will because

you need to pay the to pay the rent you need to work out because you need to be healthy yeah it keeps your diabetes are you a diabetes in your family I don't think so I definitely have heart issues and I'll have diabetes though luckily that that's one of the main reasons I drug issues of my fucking family hard issues was fucking junkies it's really what happened buddy I'm sorry no no no I was just saying like the diabetes is one of the main reasons why I decided to do this do you believe in any type of religion at all no you think there's a higher power do you think there's somebody

who guides you in particular when I was younger I would have said absolutely not just I had a bad experience with it because Judaism is a weird religion when you're not I was reformed which is like the lowest end and if you're not orthodox it's kind of a weird thing because you don't speak Hebrew so you're just sitting there and doing stuff that they tell you and you don't understand anything so I don't believe in God just because it doesn't make sense to me I don't want to say that there's no higher power just because no it kind of to me that kind of sound stupid if you say absolutely not that's just me but I

don't I don't think so but then again it I mean it just I think the I more believe in like karma and stuff like that I definitely believe in that more than something that's like a guide you at times I mean you think back to your 25 years I mean you don't remember anything before your 10 you think to your 15 years you think you lucked out at times you think luck was made by you know opportunity and what people say luck is opportunity and whatever together I mean I believe more in fate than I do in higher power fate it's funny a friend of mine's and I got a call Monday night that I find them and I knew I had low

cancer he had that son to son cancer melanoma in his head and went to one of his lymph nodes fuck he's a great I mean you know I'm very lucky because yes I had an orthodox childhood and for some people it's they'd feel sorry they go my god how'd you do it I did it because God took my family I've said this a thousand times I want people to think about this God took my family but he gave me something else he gave me the gift of friendship yeah people have no idea people will live their whole life and not know what the gift of friendship is because don't run with people and they just live their lives when you really

think about your life and the people around you you know that that Jesus Christ this guy was my friend for these particular reasons or whatever and as you know my childhood a lot of people tend to run away the people that stayed around I said I love him with all my heart because I know what was going on that time and it was very easy to fucking run in life it's very easy to run it's very hard to stay and especially with friends you know and sometimes there's a guy that you know is your friend but he has a bad fucking month and everybody runs from him and if you stay together you're strong you know and

then I never ran out of friends I really never did I I never really tried to unless the chances you got to tap out there comes a day but it was weird out in 83 I didn't know where I was going I was just a lost fucking kid you know I was 21 years old and I was 20 I had no direction I get emails from people I had no direction guys no direction I was my own disciplinary okay and I know and I know one thing about that time that I think back about it it was February of 83 and I will tell you something if I didn't leave New York at that time I wouldn't have made the holidays wow I do know this I do know with all the

repercussions that I did in 1982 from all this shit I was doing that eventually it was when we go to somebody by that time I hadn't beat my godfather yet for the money and I hadn't really gone to war my stepfather but I had gone to war with other people and I knew that something bad was gonna happen doesn't take a genius to know you're gonna go into the city got a bag of coke you're gonna get out of a car you're gonna walk into somebody having a beef and you're gonna catch a bullet yeah something was gonna happen to me and it's funny growing up in high school there was this family the Burkles and the one that

was my age we didn't get along we never got along this is what adds worse to the story we never got along he was a little group called the boys or something like that with a bunch of good guys but I had a party and they were invited and I disrespected them at the party and they got pissed off at me because I didn't pay attention to them they took I had just invited them to the party at my house I invited everybody they didn't like who was upstairs and they left I don't give a fuck I was 30 years ago I still talk to them now we were adults and and there was a lot of those guys that went with me that dissolved nobody ever said

nothing to them because they didn't want to go to war it just happened but Birkel was one kid when I was a sophomore junior I went up to get weed one night or something and he was with four of his buddies and he thought he was tough and he came over to me and we kind of wrestled and they broke it up and we just left it at that we never really talked or communicated and do I have little feelings from whatever you know I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire but but he had three brothers he had one brother that went to Brown he had another brother that was fucking gone he wasn't out yet another brother that went

to the Air Force Academy and I had never known him I knew that they had were just tough kids they were tough German kids big kids they're very intelligent the mother was a principal these guys were oh like Ron Ron the one I didn't get along with was a fucking dunce if you look at him okay but school wise fucking cow is off the level a's these guys drank every night and smoked pot and did ass and listened to music and lifted weights they were all power lifters of sorts and one time in this Joe Marry's bar like I said I have no way to go in my life I'm just sitting in this bar eating quail who's doing blow doing crimes and no

direction he walked in and it was like we started talking about something and next thing you know he started pushing Colorado on me if I wanted to go and we chipped on the car together we bought a car together and then I had to go I don't know if you know this story he had to come back to Colorado but I was about to rob this drug dealer so I kept saying him dog give me two more weeks but it's like anything else it's it seemed like I didn't want to go yeah like I was stalling him so he left without me and I went to a the travel agent bought a ticket and I was gonna have him pick me up an aspen and all of a sudden three

days late I see him at the bar and I go what happened and he goes the transmission blew I had to get towed back and right there that was my sign from who to this day I don't know because of that transmission wouldn't have broke I would have never gone out there yeah but that transmission broke and made him come back and when he came back to he got I left for sure I left whether or not I robbed I think I robbed somebody else and just left just out of fucking principle what that kid's been really sick you know he had the cancer he came out here and we hooked up and he's another guy that's a church of

what's happening now he called in Jimmy Birkel yeah and he said that up you know he found out he had the cancer when he got a little better to go back to work he said I'm not going back to work he goes if I'm gonna die in three years I'm gonna die on my turn I'm gonna fish so he became a professional fisherman for two years and he had to some contest and he took 80th in some Baja fishing thing so I really admire him but I got to call you and he was on his deathbed oh no if I said I didn't say goodbye to him this week I would miss him so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go to Sacramento Thursday yeah and I haven't heard

nothing so it's Wednesday even if he dies tomorrow the wake won't probably be it's a big family the funeral won't be till Monday at least fly home fly out Monday take a nap and wake up and go to the funeral and come back Monday and either Tuesday morning is he still in San Diego or is he back no no they're in Jersey okay they're in Jersey with their wife and stuff but it it's just really weird that I thought about I didn't know who brought him into my life I mean I didn't grow up on him he was three four years older than I was and it's so weird I who brought him in was it a spirit who brought this guy at at this time it

wasn't karma because the only karma I had coming to me was bad fucking karma there was nothing good about my life we got to call command what's up buddy hey how you doing hey good morning mr. hewn how are you caught on you on the phone today ladies and gentlemen thank you very much for calling brother yeah thanks for having me man I appreciate it I yeah you know I'm a big fan of the show I used it to you know listen to one of mine the treadmill and not the treadmill the the exercise bike okay I'm in the gym and you know it always makes me laugh like I'll be on the on the bike over there riding and people look over at me

laughing my head off like who's this asshole on the phone with you know I got my headphones in on the iPhone but now it's great man good to hear you could you so you've had both your surgeries how many surgeries have you had in my life or just recently no no just recently for wow so this all this last injury you got was against Ryan Couture correct yeah and what exactly happened well I've got I've got torn labrums and I had torn labrums in both the hip you know people are familiar with the labrum in the shoulder as being like sort of a a ring of tissue that surrounds that joint we got labrums in your hips too and

basically they they create a seal between the ball of the femur and socket of the pelvis and if that rips like when it's sealed up it keeps some fluid and some like lubricant in that joint but when that rips you know either from from trauma from overuse from throwing you know 500 kicks a day on the heavy bag whatever it is when that rips out then that lubricant drains out so so the joint isn't as cushioned isn't as lubricated and then you get your your early onset osteoarthritis you get all these these issues from from that you know that tissue breaking down and so yeah after that after that fight with

with Ryan I went in and got checked out and the docs basically said that that both of my hips were were shot that I had torn labrums on both sides and that you know that you know the joints were all messed up basically and they wanted to go in a bunch of these doctors in LA wanted to go in and just give me a double hip replacement you know chop off the top of both my legs and hammer a metal rod down in there and you know and say okay here you go dude you got you got two metal metal legs and and I told him you know my dad's got you know a dual hip replacement like that and he's you know he's still out there he sees

snowboarding he's doing jiu-jitsu and he's doing this thing but you know he had them put in I don't know 20 years ago so he was he was probably now wasn't even 20 years ago maybe 15 years ago so 10 years ago or something like that but he was like you know 50 when they did this I was I'm 33 at the time you know and they they're like you know you're you're pretty damn young to have double metal hips so luckily my mom sent me a letter a newspaper clipping she knew I was dealing with it after the surgery getting looked at going to all these different doctors getting different opinions and she sent me a newspaper

clipping of this doctor that had just moved to Boulder Colorado and how he was sort of a hip guru this hip specialist you know one of the top doctors in the world and he had this new procedure so I flew out to Colorado or actually drove out to Colorado to see him and you know get his opinion and he basically said yeah I can you know I'll make your hips better than they've ever been and I'll get you back 100% we'll get you back in the cage and you know get you ready to go so then I said let's do it you know I did my research on him and then August 3rd they went in and spoke my right hip they went in and

repaired the labrum cleaned up cleaned up the sort of the shrapnel and the joint from from that fight you know or just everything leading up to that you know basically my life and it cleaned that out and then 10 days later they went back in or 12 days later they went back in and did what's called a PAO which you know it's this cutting-edge surgery basically they said that part of the issue part of the reason that my labrum tore in the fight was due to the shape of my hip like I was born with a slightly displaced hip you know you hear about hip dysplasia with you know dogs raw wires that's where I heard about it

before but apparently people get it too and I had a mild case of hip dysplasia on the right side that the doctor looked at everything he said okay I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna repair the damage from this fight I'm gonna I'm gonna repair the the labrums that you tore but the but it may happen again you know if you're gonna go out there and a kid gets the hooks on you and flattened you out and this is drinking on your you know you get caught one of these submissions just because of the way your your body is shaped you're sort of at a greater risk for this to happen again so instead of just repairing

this tissue and hoping that everything's gonna be all good I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna perform this paracetibular osteotomy which is this fancy hip surgery where they go in and they basically cut the pelvis and rotate it to give you a different connection you know between the socket of the pelvis and the ball of the femur and they they go in they cut my pelvis in three places twisted it forward basically gave me a whole new basically you know a whole new pelvis whole new hips whole new shapes down there and you know they tell me I'm gonna be able to frickin you know head kick everybody and then put my

ankles by my head and and do all sorts of shenanigans once I'm out of here but you know so I'm just sort of waiting it out you know taking it slow and then you know going through the process trying to learn the lessons or whatever what was really interesting last night is when we spoke you basically said that that's it you're not fighting anymore and I was blown the fuck away on how you told me and how you spoke about your future and what you're gonna be doing and opening up a gym like most guys would be cracked you know I'd be fucking cracked you're a young man you still have five or six years left yes you know it's it's it's

you know at some point it's difficult you know I guess making the decision announcing the decision to retire I announced it back in January two days after my mother's birthday a little little late birthday present for her because she was she called me crying when she heard she heard about it my dad put it on the internet and she was you know she was oh thank you that's a greatest gift anybody could ever give a mother never having to you know know that their son's going out there to battle but you know yeah it was it was sort of hard to to give it up but you know I feel like I got into fighting for

certain reasons I got into fighting to to overcome fear and I've done that and you know I'm no longer afraid I no longer you know other people no longer have the ability to make me fair marginalized or fear for my physical well-being and that's a tremendous gift that I've gained through this whole process and and I sort of feel like I've proved you know I've proved everything I really need to prove you know there's there's a million guys out there training and you know a bunch of bad motherfuckers you know and and to know that I was in there at one point you know sure my goal was always to be the

champion and and it's hard to give up on those goals but one of the things you know that I've sort of realized through this process is that you have to grow you have to evolve and you know I'm sort of looking to go from from a soldier you know that soldier mentality grinds push for hard work never give up to to a general mentality where a man can can look at the situation and say well I'm I might lose this battle to win this war and and can make executive decisions and not really marching forward like a soldier just blindly going forward to scrap you know I've already proved that I can scrap that I can fight through

adversity and it's it's time for me to take the lessons that I've learned on my journey towards sort of this place of self-acceptance and teach those to other people you know nothing nothing beats you know seeing the look on a kid's face when he gets his first win and you know in a wrestling match or you know when he lands his first combo and spar and that you taught him and he's like oh man this shit works you know when you can when you can take a little kid who doesn't believe in himself you know a 12 year old kid and and give him some some techniques and some tools so that he feels confident about who he is

and he doesn't feel that other people can marginalize him you know you're you're changing the world you know you're you're giving a kid who could have been bullied and then become a bully given somebody the the opportunity to live as their most authentic self and and that's you know that's beautiful that's fucking beautiful and I hope you motherfuckers at home are taking notes that's that really is beautiful one big question I have for you is when you went into fighting to overcome your fear what were you scared of what was the really what was the fear that you really had because I we're all fucking scared

kind of or something I go to acupuncture to fight my fear of needles believe it or not yeah yeah I mean that's that's that's what it's all about I think you know doing doing the thing it's hard to do you know I feel like fear is is a teacher for us and it points out areas where where we may be deficient you know and by by confronting that fear and by looking looking at fear in the face you saying hey you know yeah I'm gonna go in here and I'm worried about needles I'm gonna go get some acupuncture and hope that you know hope that it helps me deal with my anxiety well just the act of of taking action

is incredibly empowering you know and that's one of the things that's great about fear is that it can inspire us to action you know they talk about that fear response that late response and in humans it's fight flight or freeze and they talk about how a lot of people they're you know encounter these difficult situations or traumatic situations and they freeze and they don't ever shake off that negative you know that negative vibe like a deer you know the gear runs out in front of your car it freezes and then it does that little boom and shakes itself off and runs off into the woods and it's cool

but humans don't really do that you know a lot of times they get they get frozen in these moments and they don't move in that residual you know traumatic you know negative energy or stressed out fear energy gets stored in the body so learning to you know to process that and to move through that or to take action learning that okay when I'm when I'm scared running is fine and fighting is fine but but take action so what was it that had me scared I was scared to get and beat up which is which is ridiculous but you know it's it's something that stems from stuff you know a real little kid that I thought I've come to

understand you know I I've been in probably not a lot of 165 170 street fights and I've never lost but I'm still terrified you know right not not anymore but I would say probably up until five years ago I'd be terrified and I remember you know sitting in high school in Spanish class and I had some kid I was supposed to meet at the flagpole at three o'clock and I remember getting up to go to the bathroom and puking because I was so nervous and you know at that time I was I probably a hundred you know I guess not yeah probably a hundred and some wins in wrestling I've been on you know the world team I'd wrestled in

France and and I was still terrified to go fight and you know when I got to Eddie Bravo's at 10th Planet and I met Jason Chambers and Amir Renovati and those guys there were some guys there Tate Fletcher who were already pro fighters and they you know saw that I had some potential and they you know suggest it and the idea was like man I was I was puking you know that kid told me at noon that I was gonna fight him at three and I was puking and fucked up and I just hated how that made me feel so I was like awesome guys up in three months like alright well that's that's fucking scary fail so sign me up you know it's

amazing how I still get scared 22 years later before I go on stage and I get more scared at the little things yeah I get scared when I'm with Joan with a 3000 seat arena that scares the shit out of me but if I go to the ha ha on a Tuesday night and there's a 14 people that scares me even more yeah it's my biggest fear and people have no idea how you get this fear you know five four minutes before you do something and you you all sudden your body starts to break down you got a pee you got a shit your stomach hurts your eye twitches it's amazing how your own mind plays tricks on you and then two minutes

before I hear my name called fear inside of me tells something and my balls inside of me tell fear to suck my dick and they get into an argument and I hear this argument inside my head like fuck you bitch fuck you I'm scared why you keep doing this to I always thought that when you attacked your fear that you were like a masochist like I always thought like even for acupuncture I would sit there in the beginning go why am I going through this nobody would do this because they're scared of needles they just avoid needles and now yeah six years later I go acupuncture every fucking Tuesday you know so it's that's

fucking beautiful what you said today I mean your attitude and how you you said you're gonna go work where were you you getting certified to become a personal training you're gonna open up your own I mean you inspired me at fucking nine o'clock last night I was like Jesus I go fucking do something had surgery today and he's fucking guys opening gyms and now you're from my favorite favorite favorite place in the world in fact I spoke to four people from both the yes I spoke to Antonio Ladizio the old man from the restaurant who's gonna call the podcast next week sure my buddy of mine actually built

was building a boat with him you know a friend I grew up skateboarding with Ladizio was was building this boat and he had a friend of mine named Carson Warren working with him on it very I don't like these alternative school programs out here you know so I had a buddy in high school getting getting school credit for fucking building a boat that's pretty rad it's amazing that a lot of people have no idea about Colorado and they have no idea about bold because yes there's so damn beautiful here you know you think you lived here you know they they say it's not a watch curse once you've lived in the Boulder Valley you've seen the

Boulder Valley it'll be forced to return to it it's scary because I spoke to those people yesterday put me together because my biggest complaint is the airport that's it kind of that's my biggest complaint is if I got a gig in Kentucky you know in April you get a fucking feet of snow in Boulder or in Colorado it could snow at a whim in April or May I think when I lived in an aspirin shit they used to see this they used to say the snowiest months were April yeah well that's before this global woman Joey you're safe out here now fucking doesn't snow at all come on come on we've I mean come on we've

literally we've we've never had you know I live up in the mountains just outside of Boulder up Lee Hill you know I'm up I used to live a 2085 Lee Hill Road yeah yeah that way right by the bus stop there in fact I was telling yeah I was telling Lee that when I lived in Boulder you know Lee had never been my co-host here the flying Jew had never been to a strip club and I said that when I know that I heard him yeah yeah man that guy's gotta live he's leading up he's doing the juice that oh he's a fucking separate road to him yeah he's got to get out there and see his life by the balls I'm gonna try thanks Boulder so the bus

stop was the strip was the only strip club when I lived in Boulder now you put something nitros in there correct yeah yeah nitro hoping up the the first time I ever went to nitro was right after I'd made my debut on showtime I thought this kid Marlon Matias and he broke my jaw like a minute into the first round he was from the shoebox Academy crazy motherfucker switch and stance dropped out of out of South Park into regular through a backhand with his left hand and overhand right that I ducked right into a knee and busted my jaw shut so I was wired up and I came home after that fight after I got my

jaw wired and nitro had just opened up so I had just gotten my wind bonus I went on TV despite the broken jaw and I was down there acting the fool trying to talk to strippers through wired shut teeth and throwing my wind bonus at everybody you know but yeah the bus stop that was the original and then you know they're owned by a church or they were do you know that yeah yeah that they they got it sold out or bought out and then that they were left to the church or something and the and then the church hire some got to run it right that's it no but something that some some stripper freak went in there liked it

so much he lead died he left it to the fucking church how crazy yeah there's something you know kind of I tell this story to a lot of people because it was very you know first off I'm from Jersey and I grew up in New York but I grew up in New York when they would shoot you in Harlem when they would share a white kid in Harlem and you know because of that I had credentials just for being there just for being there but let me tell you something my friend I never met the people I've met ever then in Colorado and let me tell you let's take that a little deeper there's some people in Boulder I'll slit your fucking throat

and take you into the mountains and I want people to know that I stress it in Boulder when you know in LA when you're driving and you give your finger to some Mexican gangbanger and he chases you with your lowrider and calls you hey I say that's something completely different in Boulder I will tell you this I had a friend in Boulder who took me to his home once and he lived in one of those basements in the hill he was like yeah I had to be 20 something and he had to be maybe 30 and this guy was one of the baddest soldiers in the world in 1968 and he had retired to Boulder and I go with him to the VA and he we talk and he

was a normal guy but every once in a while and when I had my problems with my ex-wife this guy came to me and offered me his services and I said to him we can't just kill this guy and I remember him looking me this is going this is exactly the same he goes this is Boulder we don't need a gun to kill a motherfucker and I got like an Eddie Bravo student oh my god I go so how are we gonna do this he goes we're gonna take him into the weeds we're gonna smack him around a little bit I got a tree we're gonna tie him up to the tree and we're gonna put maple syrup on him and we're gonna leave him out there overnight and

come back in the morning he goes they won't be a fucking bone left they'll be like an elbow and a tooth and I looked at this guy like he goes we'll just rub him down with the maple syrup I'm telling you we'll come back there won't be nothing fucking left and he was as serious as fucking disco and he had a buddy who is just as crazy who somebody had thrown acid atom in Vietnam he was one of those guys that hung up on the hill with the Pachugi Juson yeah do you know those dudes and now he was a hippie but he was a dangerous fucking hippie like I learned some fucking wild lessons in Boulder I got beat up in Boulder

broke my rib and Boulder the cops don't fuck around in Boulder did you know that I smacked the guy out here man I fucking smacked the guy once for calling me a speck and I had two felonies in Boulder and I thought I was going back to jail for life or so and Judge Bellapani one of the best judges he's the one that sentenced me to prison threw it out of jail because in the city limits of Boulder you can't use a racial slur did you know that kind of young they have a lot of a lot of pretty progressive laws out here if I call you a white fuck and you smack me it gets done I'm cool it's cool

you gotta love that's a wild last right do you know why JJ Flanagan in 94 93 he smacked a woman up on the hill cuz she called him a nigga do you remember what all the you were too young when to see you football team with Sal and that's good and coaching they were good when they were fucking really good when they have fucking really sound salon and Darien Hagan and Darien Hagan oh my god yeah you remember those guys fuck yeah I still remember the Stones plan where see you place I remember hearing the field house I remember hearing the rolling stones you know I used to I don't know if I was telling you last night that I

know my my dad he my dad actually both my folks are from Jersey my dad's from Glen Rock my mom's from Asbury Park oh yeah yeah my dad actually was working at Altamont he was working security at Altamont for that stone show where where the Hell of Angels were the and he wrote a college dissertation about you know it was ironic that you know as Mick launched into under my thumb that they lost complete control but yeah Jersey boy and a stone fan from you know from growing up that's three fighting man's one of my dad's favorite song always played out for us you know and I went to Boulder recently and I couldn't believe

how much it grew and it's ridiculous man I gotta pay for parking I got the credit card things I mean I guess it's just you know coming into the no 21st century or whatever but yeah it's it's way different you know 29th Street mall Crossroads mall was gone there's this whole new business development over there you know they basically eliminated the nightlife up on the hill you know the homeowners association up there yes is powerful and you know putting a lot of pressure on the city for zoning stuff so like wow is China is pretty much the only bar that's survived up there and you got the Pearl Street mall here's the

beauty of it I tell you what the best thing about Boulder is you're gonna laugh your ass off you're probably gonna hang up on me but I used to go all the time to the Roper Institute I learned more about life at the fucking the Roper Institute I would take the seminars there my buddy went to work there for a guy who had HIV at in the in the restaurant there like they have like a vegan restaurant name is Lenny Martinelli well the guy found out he had a couple months to live he just gave the business to Lenny Martinelli today Lenny still owns the kitchen and owns restaurants around Boulder from that donation from that

guy there but I used to go and take the seminars I went and took a walk in meditation a great school fucking unbelievable and people when I tell them that they're looking me like Joey you used to go to the rope I'm like dog whatever man people people people's consciousness level is outside of this town you know sure we're they call it the People's Republic of Boulder people that's why there's Colorado and there's the People's Republic of fucking Boulder you know 20 square miles surrounded by reality you know it's crazy that the cop that arrested me and shit that hated me is still a fucking cop there his name is

detective Dave Seaper he's still a fucking cop there and it's amazing that you know what I tell you what kind of I love that you call into there loved it there's one of the best calls I've had in a long fucking time I hope that you young guys take some fucking notes from this general as he called himself I loved it the whole fucking thing yeah thanks buddy so well what's your next move what's that what's the next move you know right now I'm I got a great job teaching MMA at Define Defense martial arts just off of 11th Street it's like between it's just off Pearl Street between like Walnut and Canyon up this

little alley there's a little book teaching in there where I teach Monday Wednesday Friday and just doing that I'm you know I'm studying for the nest of personal training museum I take that test on the 30th and then I'll start over 24-hour fitness as you know professional fitness trainer over there and basically want to learn you know all their their business operation stuff client retention you know sales process all these things because of the most profitable fitness company in America and then you know keep keep training keep study make it up tell everyone from field up to train with Eddie working for

that black belt and I continue to train at Mauricio Zincanos and Burnfield that's my key jujitsu coach out here so you know keep teaching keep learning keep training and and then in two years basically looking to open up my own martial arts school with my best friend from high school Tim Shirley he's a key jujitsu guy he's out in Pennsylvania right now he's you know been slaughtered it on the the G circuit you know he's a Pan Am champ he's he's a bad motherfucker and so we're gonna open up our gym and it should be you know it'll be the first time that a traditional key jujitsu black belt and then Eddie

Bravo 10 planets jujitsu black belt have teamed up with both wrestlers so we have that you know that grind that work ethic and then of course you know I've been fighting and the big lead since you know ISL lead XE and so I think that that combination you know combined with you know the knowledge that I need to gain in the next two years working you know in Boulder 24-hour fitness coach and my own thing here that you know hopefully we'll be ready to take over start building you know building an army where you're the light is the fighter fun still open to people or no you know I shut that down I mean the you know

everybody everybody was super generous with that man that was really a humbling experience for me the that whole fun the fighter campaign they you know they really stepped up to give me a platform to sort of get my message out initially Zufa wasn't paying for the surgery then you know I got on the social media and started talking about it and people seem to be kind of outraged you know a couple articles are written and they realized that you know okay you know a couple thousand dollars or a couple hundred thousand dollars actually for for surgeries here and there probably wasn't going to be worth

the PR nightmare you know if having somebody in the sport you you know sort of veteran and you know pretty well respected in the game you know getting getting sort of done dirty like that so you know Zufa stepped up when they stepped up to cover the surgery you know I I felt okay you know everything sort of taken its course they're not covering any of the rehab so that's really what the fund was for and luckily I got a gangster ass doctor I went in yesterday and he looked at some things and basically said all you need another surgery and he knows that that Zufas know you know their coverage is dropped

off so he just went gorilla style yesterday you know he doesn't even want me to say his name I wish I could be blowing him up because he's such a dope doctor but yeah he went in gorilla style yesterday and just said okay basically I'm gonna perform surgery right here in the office because you're a tough guy and I want to get you back in your feet and get you chasing your dreams again so yeah super blessed man that that whole fund a fighter thing having to reach out like having to really humble myself you know that was a mental battle for me you know it's like I'm a you know I'm the type of dude

where you know I sort of came up you know not not not as not as hard as you at it but I sort of got I got real disenfranchised when I lost in the state finals my senior year and basically I've been doing everything right up into that point in time I've been you know studying I've been going to school I didn't drink I never smoked pot I was a virgin I had all these ideas in my head like if I do all this good shit then then I'll win the state title and when that didn't happen I sort of just swung the other way and I was like all right fucking I'm gonna take it you know I'll get whatever I want it's like whatever

all right I learned how to be a boss following these these rules and guidelines that I believe we're gonna bring me you know this this goal which is ridiculous I realize now but so so I sort of swung the other end and it was like all right I'm gonna get money I'm gonna make money I'm gonna take money and I always said you know I'll be I'll be in jail or dead before I'm broke well that's a young stupid man statement you know and I realize that I'd be you know it's better to be morally rich and financially bankrupt than the other way around so that having to you know having that to reach out and ask you know I

used to I used to hustle and do some things and you know there's always that temptation to sort of move back into that lifestyle and with this you know I came back to my hometown I had the surgery I was laid up and I was in a position where I could make moves the way that I used to or I could humble myself and I could reach out to the MMA community and it was a very very hard decision but one that I'm very happy with you know I feel you know blessed that I had that opportunity and that you know when I reach out and I said hey I'm broken you know I've been I've been out of work I've been laid up for you know

for what is it a year you know over a year now since my last my last fight and you know it was a long time before I could even get up on my feet with all the you know all the surgeries I art and you know I had I just started teaching probably I don't know less than a month ago but so for me to go from like okay I'm in this town like alright I'm angry I'm pissed off that I'm hurt I could go you know go hard and then do some some things that I was going to regret or I could humble myself and and really you know throw myself on the mercy of the fans and you know the mercy of just everybody out there who you know who

might have seen me fight and got some motivation from it and I chose to do that rather than you know going back to the streets and the blessing and then really what it did in my heart to see the outpouring of love from everybody really just touched me and it just you know reconfirmed this belief that I have that you know you walk the path with heart in the universe will provide and it was like I was down to you know my last you know I probably had a hundred bucks in my wallet when the fund a fighter guys you know contacted me and that all happened and you know so it did it really like this whole process has

just sort of reconfirmed it's like you do the thing that's hard to do in the power comes you keep walking forward you keep your head up you keep getting up and you try and live a righteous life you know a moral life and you'll be provided for and I've just been showing time and time again you know I'm I'm broke is a joke but the guy to deer run out in front of my car and clips in my car and I clip the deer or whatever the other day and you know apparently that's not that's not collision it's a comprehensive so and the damage wasn't too bad I could you know I just popped the hood out and it's a little broken

gorilla whatever but I got a check from the insurance company for eight to hundred bucks to keep me grinding you know I've just I've just learned that you know walk the path that's hard in the universe provides you don't get what you want but you get what you need brother yep and you're a good dude and you're a gentleman and when I saw that that's why you know you're a good fucking dude Connor you're always been a gentleman to me at the events and you give me a hug and I can't even snow I don't even know you're a fighter sometimes I think who the fuck is this guy well that's that's good man I'm

trying to evolve you know I'm trying to leave that angry little kid behind no no but I at first I didn't even know sometimes I would go Eddie who's this fucking guy he goes that's kind of oh my god I had him confused I thought he was just some nice gym guy or something and you know you're a fucking great guy and I knew that sometimes it takes something bad for something good to happen yeah and you saw it right in front of you and it's and if I would have told you this two years ago you will go fuck yourself but sometimes it takes a little bit yeah sometimes it takes something bad for something good to come out man so I'm

happy you woke up early and gave us a call and I want you to call back in about a month and let me know how you're doing I'll talk to you before then brother sounds good I appreciate it Joe thank you kind of wrong you know we love you keep up keep up the juice guy and tell me you're you're doing big things I know that's not that's not easy to do the type of sacrifice you're making but I want you know you're inspiring people with your YouTube and then talking about it and showing anybody that you know hey I'm gonna get out here and I can grind this you know he said yesterday or something the first

five days are bad and you're doing you guys are doing good things so keep doing it thank you brother that means a lot have a good day my man stay black hi buddy I'll talk to you later always I hope you guys listen to what this motherfucker had to say because I talked to him on the phone he knocked me off my chair yesterday I had a different guest lined up okay and I went with him after talking to him no he's a great guy yeah I saw a few weeks ago that he followed me on Twitter or something and I looked him up and that was that was great to listen to he had the fun to fight a thing and I spoke about it I spoke about

it on these podcasts and I spoke about it on this one and that's what we do that's what we do sometimes we help people out with what music you got from you haven't played a song cocks I guess I have that's a little biggie on a Wednesday pick up that fucking bong hit that motherfucker eight times it's Wednesday you gotta go out deep like I'm a ring with metal oh shit whoa whoa oh that's a funny thing that people don't talk about a lot and you know from comedy it's kind of the same thing it seemed every profession but and in

sports you always think people are making millions of dollars and everyone's Anderson Selva driving the fancy cars with endorsements but Connor he he fought and he was still professional fighter but he was still in the lower level and then he got hurt and Doofah wasn't gonna pay for anything and he can't make money and he he he needs the the insurance check to get by and it's it's inspiring to hear people because it would have been easy for him to go back it's like me trying to go and back at any McDonald's him doing something he wouldn't be proud of it's something you don't think about when you think a

professional fighter is always gonna be me be rich so that was inspiring to look at you you know they people see on TV yeah and they assume you're rich they don't know that Fox Sports pays shit you know after these Fox companies pay shit you know you think like the TV is the thing like oh they're doing your favors an announcer I don't even want to tell you what Fox pays to without some fucking fights or games on a lower level fucking so I just like listen man one of the biggest things that holds us back as human beings is fear fear will fuck with you when anything in the world you know I've been doing stand up for 22

years I try to write a joke every fucking day I try to perform four or five times a week that's 25 sets a month and I'm telling you guys that on the drive there I talk myself out of this business never mind comedy I talk myself out of the fucking business I'm gonna get a job selling shoes at foot walker you know it's ridiculous what if you let fear fuck with you it'll fuck with you it will fuck you up the ass and make you stay in a goddamn house in the pressure will set in and all these things come with it but it all starts with that I'm telling you that fear grows like a fucking weed do not let it

fuck with you if you see something you want to do tell fear to suck you did fear is the guy that puts a negative shit in you what listen man when you want to do something the odds are you doing it with the people around you it's tough enough yeah even with the juice and I broke your balls maybe your mom said don't do it anything you want to do you want to cross the street people will say why not to cross that street of course you know if you want to cross that street you don't fucking cross it do not let fear stop you email me at joeycocodeas.net let's talk about it go for it dieting a career whatever the

fuck you want to do you know I have fear every fucking day every fucking day I have to go to meetings I have fear it would kill me it would kill me if I swear to godly I'm the most scared guy I've said it once I've said a thousand fucking times how scared a life I was as a kid but I had no choice then my mother died oh my god then I had no fucking choice to take life by the fucking bull horns and knee it in the face what are you gonna do yeah what are you gonna do I hear people say a lot that when you're not scared to do something it's tired to do something else yeah so yeah that's pretty rough the

fuck I brought love for you I love fighting with my love it on a daily bed no I'm not gonna eat this pot cookie it's 8 in the morning you lose that fight every day I love you motherfucker it's Wednesday morning let me tell you something it was as I got there on the epiliptical whatever the fuck you call it I tell you what man my back and my shoulders have been a little sore so I went back on the strong bone because I usually you know I don't take everything every day I'm on the hemp protein I'm on the fucking I got the T finally in the mail the testosterone booster I'm gonna try that with you guys and let you know

about that but I would go to fucking I'll tell you what when I go to that webpage and read what they have I get so enthused about this shit and I remember why I like their product so much yeah you know what else I forgot about that we go on I took him on the road new mood oh yeah that helps fucking amazing so please if you having a problem with sleeping you got the new mood you got the fucking immune sport and you got the fucking alpha brain if not get the strong bone get your exercise technique go and get your mind going you know the idea wasn't a bad mood it was just going on over to the

why so I went to kickboxing Monday yes that went to fucking I did the other thing and tomorrow today I go to kickboxing tomorrow get up early and go over and do the immune the epiliptical and I'm on my way to fucking Sacramento bitches also next week we're at the ice house doing a live church of what's happening on my man Vinnie Curdo did you hear that bitches live the fucking savage the main man the flying Jew will be there again what was that live bitches six to six five seven seven eighteen ninety four get your tickets now ten dollars the cheapest fucking live podcast you'll ever see in

your life have some drinks it's Wednesday night what are you gonna do watch Andy Dick on Dancing with the Stars and fucking maggot motherfuckers then we got the Miami the South Beach Comedy Festival let me tell you something I need that to sell I need to go to my Miami peeps let me tell you in Spanish oh yeah for the fucking South Beach Comedy Festival I'm there the 19th they're gonna add the 20th if we do a show on Miami on the 20 let me tell you we're gonna do outside the film wall we're gonna burn that motherfucker down with reefer ash you understand me that's how I'm gonna smoke pot we got the banana

bread lady I'm some people traveling with the acupuncture isn't it training I traveled with the banana bread lady that's how I fucking roll so I can make banana bread in any fucking city she's going on tour with us lead so you might as well put a budget in for her banana bread lady write it down she's going on tour with us that's a legally right the tax refund and but what thanks we find oh well I did want to talk about with some interesting for you fucking morons that Nick Diaz is going to jail let me tell you something my wife is an accountant okay so as soon as I moved in with my wife she started

making some changes in my personal life and she wrote a list for me like these are things you have to take care of it take care of this child support and lower it you have to do this and every month we would take tackle things you know what the hardest thing was what you know I started dating my wife in 1998 or 99 okay and by 2002 she had talked me into two years to do this I'm gonna tell you guys what it is and you're gonna fall off your seat not and I'm not gonna go to jail because I took care of it paying my taxes she talked you into it you know I didn't pay my taxes from 1998 to like 2002 did you guys know that because

you know after after my divorce and I got into comedy and I read the Lenny Bruce book I really really wanted to be a fucking comic like a renegade comic like I wanted life to forget about me and me to forget about life I wanted to be the road warrior I didn't want to pay taxes I was gonna drop off the face of the earth that was my plan I wasn't gonna pay shit the old child support the old credit cards I wasn't gonna do nothing but it wasn't that I was scared of my responsibilities is that I was scared of getting the ball rolling like how they would browbeat me when I went down there yeah you know I am like I am here to

join ring watches you really now you fat fuck where were you for 20 you know so little by little I we made different moves like my wife got my child support lowered and that was painless you know they say I owed a certain amount my wife went over to the check cash in place and got all the money orders that had gotten for child support and gotten the receipts so that lowered it by $40,000 and my wife just did a bunch of shit but one of the things that when I went to the IRS I hadn't paid taxes I used to take my tax receipts and rip them up and throw away like the 1099 so I wouldn't put a 1099 in there for nothing and guys the

easiest thing in the world for me was to cut a deal with the government if you if you owe taxes first of all they're only gonna charge you for the seven years back so let's say you stop paying taxes in 2000 it's 2013 correct yeah they're only gonna take it today if you went in there today and there's no line I want you were you signing your name being hose ideas you go up what's happened what happened you didn't pay your taxes in 2001 no worries what year is it 2013 we're only going back to 2006 so you're only responsible for seven years wow all the other shit gets forgotten yeah so you go you do a

paperwork you set up a fucking payment plan and you pay no my payment was 150 a month for like fucking 80 years no for like five or six years I doubled up on them and I paid them I went to the state board same thing I think my payment $10,000 I think my payment was $96 a month so for 250 month everybody wants to settle everybody wants to get paid cuz you can't pay with your jail you can't pay when you're in jail so if you owe taxes or you're scared of something again man fear used to be my best friend because I let it beat my ass I was scared of getting browbeat go down and take care of this for people who read that

thing that Nick Diaz is going to jail he's just gonna say look I've been smoking dope for 18 years I'm an MMA fighter you get punched in the head 15 times you tend to forget shit okay taxes is not number one on your list when you get hit in the head fucking 18 times so that's what happens you go down IRS you make an appointment you walk in you tell him the truth and that's it I'm done with my taxes done like I'm fucking legit if Joey Diaz is legit we didn't pay taxes for 12 fucking years can you be legit people please this is fucking easy this is easy why get these you know you don't pay your taxes

they throw you they threw a blade in jail I was gonna say when he's fucking fucked up Pete and biting white women and shit they threw his black ass in jail they don't fuck around yeah but they the difference is they gave him a chance to pay and he's like he didn't he say like I'm not gonna pay it or and he owed millions of dollars you tell the fucking government you're not gonna pay him to see what they do listen listen let's say I don't know if you guys know this let's say you're on fucking let's say you robbed somebody let's say you wrote checks okay and you sent out 20,000 checks and you do 10 years for that when

you get out of prison you gotta pay those residuals let's say you gotta pay five dollars a month you will stay on parole till you pay that off no so the quicker you pay that off the quicker you'll be on parole they don't fuck around yeah how much your own restitution 40 we're not gonna let you go so you're gonna end up in jail because you don't want to pay the fucking 40,000 yeah they will take everything is all about paper today but as long as they get their paper they won't be mad at your people that's a legit fucking statement so please if you hold that shit when I read that yes they go to control in jail

then throw me in jail and I walked in there when I was fucking 39 or something walked in there I hadn't paid taxes in years Pat and pay tax on child support and pay shit but I went in there and don't know I don't want you people it's like old Joe you know I didn't step up to my responsibilities I have a woman fucking talking down there my wife was a solid American talking into going down there and now I understand I understand it's not worth to go into jail it's not worth to fuck around with those but you know how fucked up the correspondences for those people and let me tell you something they go

right for you back to count oh yeah of course they don't play you go to eat they don't ask permission you don't even get a note from the bank you know how you get a note from the bank how we're taking 1800 a fuck no you wake up you go to the ATM you go to a restaurant you just bought the Japanese chicken drink down the corner send that bitch a drink send that bitch a drink and your car comes back decline that's a long fucking day for you oh no that'd be terrible and that's it what else can I fucking tell you it's a beautiful day to be someone knocking the door yeah come on in here beautiful the fuck is

this you forgot what kind of shit is this this is Lee's beautiful roommate what's her name what's her name Ashley Ashley cuz I thought I was gonna say Cassandra but I keep thinking that Cassandra what's happening Ashley with a fucking flower when you had over here say hello in front of the camera so I hear the fucking voice say hello come over and say hello and shit yeah come on over say hello you fuck say hi where am I had this word that's it that's Lee's Lee Lee Lee Lee's roommate the one I've been talking them into attacking in the middle of the night she's a cutie I say rip that fucking flower off her head

look at Lee's turning red now look at that Lee look at those sexy fucking bras she wears look at that leopard bra what would you do if you rip that motherfucker off I caught him sniffing one of your bras the other night this little pervert you talk suck it it's what you sniff your underwears today I'm sure she does see Lee and you got those cute underwears you still wear those leopard underwear Lee with the fucking flowers you know you know but the fucking Israeli star by the dick that's what we got to make Lee underwear with the Israeli star and the Pee Ho comes round out of fucking star in the middle oh my

god beautiful what do you think about that see that's a fucking idea you call me up he wants to make juice shoes now I did a joke about juice shoes he wants to be in charge of juice shoes those juice shoes they talked about the ones that's your idea long I like your alarm clock you like the star the star and David and your dick comes out they won't let me come they won't be back in Israel I guess they won't let you in as long as you have your cash listen you sell you know how many millions on the way you could sell what your dick sticking out of the store yeah to fucking Palestinians who want to burn them no

one fuck the Palestinians you're gonna swing dick with that you take the dick out of your fucking star Dave and you take a picture of a playboy are you kidding me you know how many fucking Jews are by those on the way that's it I gotta go hang out with real Jews you're not thinking you're not thinking it's a beautiful day to be alive cock suckers get out there I love you guys with all my heart thank you very much for paying attention to the podcast today and for listening and for supporting Lee on this fucking juice weight loss you've been shitting lately you're right not much man what happens when you work when you

bang out what comes out of your little pick yeah same stuff it's a still thick and she doesn't it's not green but it's not like celery a little pick you expert I don't like I said I don't taste it I don't smell it look at this guy you're not on the wall look at this guy look at that fucking beer one of my complexes like 80 million years old good they serve breakfast or anything no it's a fucking proper complex don't forget Sacramento this weekend we ain't fucking around don't forget to go to honor calm put in your order for either strong bone try out the shroom tech for your immune system put church in the

box CH you are CH in the box get your little discount you put on the mailing list and on top of that they'll send your email alerts whenever they have sales or send out t-shirts we'll get a chick to do alpha brain and suck it the other chicks are getting dick on alpha brain she's focused anyway that do shots out about Chris Boyce how about my man art skier how about my man James Angler how about my man Pellegrino how about metal Brad 420 where you been cock sucker how about my band Brandon Cardi I love you fucking people you understand me get your shit together we're part of the church here it's a family I don't even

know what I'm saying I'm so fucking hot at bubble gum fuck me up it went right into my system what he got to end the day with me Lee I got some and don't forget he got new hoodies he got new long sleeve shirts support the podcast everybody always calls me up want to donate three dollars I'm gonna take your fucking dollars put three dollars together ten times get a fucking t-shirt we'll get this party started right have a great fucking week I love you guys God bless you remember next week is holy week we're gonna have a priest call in and a fucking rabbi on next week to explain I'm serious oh cool you don't you don't

fuck around I love you people have a great day stay black oh shit lady enough to feed the need, no need to be greedy, I got mad friends with Benz, they see notes by the lay of the truth