Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #049 - GREG FITZSIMMONS - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... Monday, March 22nd..... Today, we zoom with our friend Greg Fitzsimmons..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, CBD Lion & BlueChew.com...... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.CBDLion.com and enter Code: JOEY or CHURCH Go to https://www.BlueChew.com and enter Code: JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #GregFitzsimmons Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday the 22nd I don't know what the fuck it is the 21st all I know is spring is finally fucking here I got over my first winter in New Jersey I'm not going fucking anyway was one of the mildest winners I have ever experienced I mean knock on wood it ain't over yet but it was supposed to snow Friday and it didn't and I'm fucking happy about it we had a great weekend Friday night I mean listen man it's it's been a whole different life like I told you guys I've been to Jersey I got a social life again I'm doing shit I haven't done in fucking 30 fucking goddamn

years and it feels great man what did I do this weekend let me see Friday night I went to my friends I mean I know hustles I was you guys remember when I told you I hit on a milf when I was 14 like 15 I fucking hidden the bushes and I was on a tackler in the park and all this it was her birthday like she's like 70 now and she's tight with my daughter out of all people my daughter loves this woman because remember she was my friend's mother-in-law so now I hang out with my friend you know he's 16 now I'm 58 and he has his mother-in-law living with him the hot one and I told them that I hit on and I was gonna tackle her

and fucking suck a titties and shit and now she's like 78 and hey how fucking crazy is that that my daughter and her get along great her name is Fay and my daughter is 8 and my daughter goes down and she plays with the dogs and then she disappears and her and Fay go in the living room and they watch the Disney Channel and my daughter explains everything to Fay like Fay this is this this is that and I'll just sit there with my wife and just touch my wife or Bobby Bender I'll touch them and I'll go listen to these fucking two in the back they're just it's like two peas in a pod it's fucking tremendous but that's the

only thing she's got is a grandmother here so it's kind of nice to see when they fucking get together Saturday we had the date night you know we uh oh we went out we fucking because she's playing softball now this is my new life now today starts softball and she's on a fucking traveling team guys so I'm part of a fucking travel fucking combination now which I'm excited about listen I moved here for that for her to experience a different life and different things and it's working it's working my knee is three quarter there you know I'm saying I think they'll release me from PT in about two weeks from physical

therapy so thank you for all the well wishes and the fucking get well joey trust me I had a couple of rough fucking nights there but I'm happy I did it now now in hindsight I'm happy I did it it's like if you ever think of doing it I always remember that you know just keep putting the work in and every four or five days I see a little something I see a little bit more improvement more April 8th will be three months so I'm at the two and a half month mark so you know I'm good man but I wouldn't have done it without you guys CBD lion you know Mike helped me my wife thank you guys for all the fucking support and

whatnot and there was something else I want to tell you before we cracked into what we're doing but not really I'll tell you what we got today I'm doing like I told you guys Wednesday's is me and you guys having a chit chat Monday's is a zoom meeting just to venture out and let this podcast grow a little bit and let it become what it's gonna become but right now I want to bring you one of my fucking best buddies I missed them so much I had to call them up one of the funniest podcasts I ever did was with them we have great chemistry together so he's the guest on the show this week I hope you enjoy this who's a fucking

guest mr. Greg Fitzsimmons fuck what your cock suckers enjoy Greg I'll see you after what's up kid well just chilling in my office you know my little home away from home I got this have you ever been in this office probably not never never five minutes from my house I got a fucking lazy boy flat-screen TV coffee maker it's all I need that's what I'm gonna get soon pretty soon I'm gonna get one of those up north in North Bergen and see caucus yeah nice little office again put some pictures up you know the whole fucking deal yeah right it's a place to it's a place to masturbate but you also do podcast there

there's a lot lots of options I did a lot of things in that office I never masturbated in that fucking office shut up are you serious god no that's disgusting I always feel like there's cameras on me you know I'm saying like in a hotel room you don't want to jerk off I don't trust nobody Vegas you don't do nothing you got a fucking cover the shower in Vegas because you know they're watching in Vegas oh fuck yeah I got a coke in closets in Vegas did you know that I used to smoke coke in a closet because they're watching right to assume they're watching in Las Vegas dude when I was in Vegas one time I was hosting the

porn awards it was the 25th anniversary of the porn awards and we're at the Venetian hotel and the tabletops it's on showtime there's 7,000 coked up porn horrors out there and they got instead of flowers at the table center they got a basket with flashlights and dildos so me and my buddies are there of course every fucking guy I've ever met it's like hey man I'm coming out I'm coming out so I rented a house I rented a house with five rooms in it and we fucking packed people in we all grabbed the flashlights we go out to the strip clubs I'm the host so they give me the fucking VIP table we're hanging out with Jenna

Jamison and Tito Ortiz everybody so then I go back to my room and I got a flashlight and here's the thing about a flashlight you laugh about it but then when you're alone in a hotel room with it it starts looking at you it's like you're gonna fuck me and you're like I'm not gonna fuck you 20 minutes later I got my dick in the flesh light I'm jerking off into it I finish and now it's the next morning and I'm and I'm packing to leave and I'm like all right what do what am I gonna do here I got I got a dirty flesh light do I do I put it in my bag and take it home fuck no it's got jizz in it do I throw it in the

trash can I don't want to horrify some maid so what do I do I slide it into the pocket of the bathroom in the closet perfect perfect some poor bastard over there with his jizz hand and get all fucked up let me tell you so when those flashlights came out like 2010 when the Morgan was really pushing them yeah a friend of mine actually got one I went to his house he's like look look what I got I got I'm like he goes you don't have one listen I've done some disgusting fucking things I have jerked off on the street in a car I laid down and like whack off on coke that type of shit but I got to be honest to you I

think if I fuck this things that you do and you feel terrible about afterwards oh yeah yeah my saying nobody I couldn't look somebody in the eye if I fucked the flashlight and then had a look at my jizzy cocaine come in the fucking thing it water hits it's gonna be like fucking chicken soup but you can all slick on the type like Galveston like fucking you know there's just some things that you do it's like the first time I yeah I fucking hate handjobs really I was in Michigan 1995 my shoulders bothering me I'm naive as and the Michigan is the state the state of the handjob it's shaped like a fucking

hand I was naive to fucking these pulled places you know and I saw a massage and I actually pulled over and I went in and the Chinese girl that greeted me or the Asian woman that greeted me was fucking harder than fuck I had no you know misconception I didn't have but that was paid 450 for the week then yeah right was a feature acts 450 and 200 was already gone it's gonna cost me a hundred and gas to get home there was no I didn't go in there to fuck nobody yeah I just went in together like a 30 hour 40 hour massage yeah lady tells me to strip down right away I know there's a problem listen you're not rubbing my

hips yeah you're just rubbing my shoulders what what's the full strip stripped down she came in and then they played the switch and bait you know when I got there it was whatever her name is it was Ali Wong when I got you know it was a girl like as beautiful as Ali Wong is what I'm trying to say she was beautiful like Ali Wong right but then they said like her grandmother and dressed in like fucking drag she had to be 80 years old yeah and she rubbed my shoulder but like two minutes in my not even two minutes and she's like $40 and I was so fucking embarrassed and so humiliated I didn't get the handjob yeah

didn't get the handjob but I always thought about how you would feel yeah just a handjob and yeah but the old lady hands here's the thing about the old lady hands you ever touch the skin on the hands of an old person it's not really fucking it's like a baby lamb it's soft yeah like my fingers but I still don't want my hands on my dick it's disgusting like it's just disgusting there's just some things that yeah you do and you feel so fucking disgusting afterward especially when it comes to sex like getting a blowjob from an awkward chick on the road on one of those triple runs yeah like the potato run one or two you

know yeah and that you don't even get the belt off she just jams it down your fucking pants did just things that are just so disgusting I remember one night just talking with Lee we were coming back from a gig and I was telling them about beginning comedy those first couple road gigs what you bump into what you learn and and it's just disgusting it's just yeah that's one thing I missed out on because I've been I've been married for so many years and I never fucked around on the road as I never dealt with any of that fucking shame for me it was always just like I go out on the road to work I don't I don't come

back with the Bobby Lee stories and the Joey Diaz stories listen from you got to remember from you know to 91 to 2000 there were the craziness drugs yeah sex stories fingering a girl on the dance floor and Idaho Falls and she had a infection my hands smell like yogurt I mean I got a thousand of those I got a thousand of those all Greek yogurt after 2000 when I hooked up with Terry I was like you know what I can't disrespect around the road but yeah I could still do drugs and all that shit yeah and the drugs I did things on drugs that were so fucking embarrassing like you know jerking off waiting for the dealer you

know you jerk off in between I remember one weekend freezing Kelly LaBrock's movie the woman in red there's a scene when Gene Wilder beeps to horn and she gets out of the bed and they show her bush and I remember freezing it just at that rank like that just and just sitting there and trying to jerk off you coked up dick and your dick is an inch big and you're trying to jerk it off and you're fucking Tarantella and you you're doing this to it you're doing a Cappuccino it's just yeah you know I think of all those things not I'm like I'm gonna push that out of my mind because nobody needs to know about that

disgust those type of things I did yeah that type of stuff was just enough for me to and the flashlight there was no way I was gonna fuck the flashlight you know why because I know yeah I'm gonna know you know I'm gonna know that's all that needs it doesn't matter nobody needs to know but I'm gonna fucking know that I fucked the flashlight and then I'm gonna go to church one day because I usually don't go to church but when I do I look at the 12 stations of the cross and I think about all the creepy shit I did Irish you know I'm saying as Catholics we get beat up by our own fucking guilt oh yeah and that's when you think about

when you see Jesus getting beat up next you know I see myself jerking off the flashlight and I feel depressed I don't eat the cookie now I feel like a real fucking sinner so the psychological effects of Catholicism fucking stop me from being a fucking animal all the way you can't eat the cookie man it's all about the cookie you got it you got to stay clean you got to pray you got to show up on time otherwise you don't get that cookie it was so weird how when I was doing all my craziness like I was a sinner I'm still a sinner but I forgave some sins and some sins okay like I was such a hypocrite about sins you know I

was okay about doing drugs I was okay about fucking stealing you know like it was okay yeah there was so many things but like you know cheating on your girl for it all right right like I had so many different I was so contradicted by the fucking drugs you know but one thing I mean what is a you know a moral person a truly moral person comes up with the things they believe in and that they'll live by and that's their credo and they stick to those if you're somebody that just goes oh you're showing me the 10 rules and I'm gonna follow them what does that show me that shows me that you're obedient it shows

me that you're docile that doesn't show me that you're actively figuring out what your relationship to the universe is and what you think is right and wrong you come up with your own 10 commandments it's no wasn't right you know when I was doing drugs like I think of little things like I think about robbing a cookie place you know one of those little huts that you see yeah like I was that sick yeah I thought I was walking the streets one night and saw the cookie shop and the windows were open I'm like I gotta go in there and go in there and getting $38 and walking home and like on what is wrong with you wait

you walked into the shop and stole it while they were open no no no no it was closed I was going for a walk I was walking home yeah and I saw this cookie place I'm not gonna say where cuz it's embarrassing it's a little town and it's got like a little mall you know on the street and this was part of the mall it's like a kiosk yeah kiosk right and I saw that whoever ran the cookie shop left the windows open like with a screen like just a screen yeah and I just pop the window one in there and I remember like stealing the register it was like $38 yeah it was like 38 fucking dollars and I stole a couple cookies and I'm

gonna walk home I'm like what and here's the crazy thing I had ten grand in the bank you know I'm saying like why would I rob $38 like shit like that that still till today like I go Jesus Christ what type of lowlife was I I didn't know because cocaine would tell you there's cocaine in that house like I would drive by a house and go I don't know I think they got like 20 keys in there and then I would bust in there was like an old person's home that the garage filled with newspapers there were orders or something like that I'm like there's no cocaine here and I would take something just to make it be worthwhile yeah and

you come to drive home you're like this is so embarrassing it's like stealing a car like I never robbed the car in my life because you're in the fucking thing once they pull you over there's no getting out of it yeah oh I got into the wrong car no there's no getting out of it I never stole a car stereo like I never broke a window my neighbor I live when I grew up I lived on top of the hill and I had a neighbor Terrence Mahoney he lived in my backyard his parents were Eucharistic ministers super Catholic and they were you know they had like 11 kids and one of the kids Terrence had a little bicycle and I'd be late I'd be late

going to school in the morning and I'd go in the garage I'd grab Terrence's bicycle and I'd go flying down the hill and I get to the bottom of the hill I throw it in the bushes and then they had a police blotter in the local paper and it used to say Terrence Mahoney 34 Suncliffe Drive had his bicycle stolen again yesterday and they'd take it up the hill they give it back to Terrence I get up in the morning I go in the garage I take it I go down the hill again low-level crime that's not like stealing 20 kilos of coke from a guy's house no that was my petty crime I never fought late yeah and I were watching the show on

crack my wife there was a show on Netflix about drugs in the 80s oh yeah I saw that right and she put it on I'm sitting here watching it and I looked at and I go I gotta tell you something this is all I'll tell you I'm very happy that my friend is dead and that my secrets went with him to the grave from this time like from 80 to 85 and even 93 I did a couple things with him that were fucking creepy like drug things you know no nothing like we weren't into that craziness these are just ripping off drug dealers that would just it was just creepiness but yeah it was part of the game in 93 when I did it like I got

you know before 87 88 I was a fucking savage I got locked up and when I came out I said I'm gonna stay under a certain radar I'm still gonna be a savage I know how to sling coke correctly you know I know I'm not gonna sell to a cop there were things I was gonna do and there were things I weren't gonna do I was never gonna kidnap somebody again that was a big fucking mistake live and learn right but yeah but I was still gonna do drug rips if the opportunity presented itself if I see some guy that's getting into the business and he's not prepared boom you hit these weak you know they and that's what they were

talking about they were talking about weaknesses that it got to the point in New York where drug dealers wouldn't even smile you couldn't even laugh at a joke because other drug dealers saw you that as a weakness and that's what I did I looked for weaknesses you know these new guys would get into it they buy an ounce didn't make $2,000 and then like give me a pound and you sell them a pound and you just rob them back the fucking pound I mean it was creepy shit but there was some really really creepy outlandish shit that he took to the grave with him yeah I bumped into him in 99 and we had a talk at a coffee shop he

was one of my brothers growing up but he was very violent he was he didn't give a fuck and you know there was things that happened that I'm not proud of but I'm happy he took those secrets to the grave with nobody I was find out yeah I want experience I want experience selling drugs when I was in high school I used to sell mescaline me too purple mescaline for this kid named Andre I'm not gonna say his last name me although I'm pretty sure he's in jail for life and this kid was he was the blackest human being I've ever seen in my life I mean it was like America he was African American he was and he was tough and he had cousins

in town and like you didn't fuck with them you didn't fuck with these cousins they were they were they kind of like you know we had projects downtown and they kind of like ran them and so I start selling mescaline for him because then I would I'd sell it to all the white kids they're all going to grateful dead concerts and going to the park and you know on a Saturday so I come home one day and it's a Saturday afternoon I walk in the house and I look in my living room and my mom is sitting at the dining room table having tea with Andre green I just said his last name so I walk in and I'm like what I'm fucking like

my eyes are what I'm like what is going on here and there's a killer sitting at the table with my mom drinking tea and so she went inside he goes hey man you got my money I go dude I told you I pay you on Tuesday what are you doing in my house say well I need the money kind of early I go I go here's the money we're done my days of slinging mescaline are over that was it that was it I just I don't need on I don't need Andre green coming Andre coming to the house yeah I stopped selling mescaline because I graduated to cocaine yeah like quail foods and cocaine a lot of money in mescaline 80 cents a piece my mother

profit what happened to that what happened to that nice boy Andre where where's Andre he's doing 20 to life ma I'm not I'm not sure I haven't checked in with him I was like Andre growing up like when I went to kids houses yeah they were like there he is the fucking kiss of debt I wonder what he's gonna get my son involved into you know there's a kid I hang out with now still yeah that he got arrested years ago he got arrested about 15 years ago was an ugly type of arrest and his mother blames me till this day which is true I'm the one that did coke with him the first time we did coke together he was a genius but he

continued to go and he fucked himself up I'm still tight with him I talked to him yesterday I talked to him Tuesday you know but it I feel guilty about him because he was destined to be a fucking star like an engineer he went to MIT no shit yeah and he just fell off to the wayside and you know I help him so it sounds like he so he was doing coke at a young age but he kept it together enough to get into MIT and graduate he was one of those people that I was jealous of growing up because we took the same classes and I had to work really hard to get a fucking B mm-hmm and he would just show up and get an A if you

put effort in he got an A plus which is how he got into MIT hmm and I asked him once how are you so smart give me the secret and he goes listen take notes and review all your information every night he goes that's what I do I review it I review it I review it so when the finals come I know it in and out he goes so just to work on it for an hour every night and it was so weird that I started doing what he was doing and my grades went up mm-hmm I ended up quitting high school because I was a fucking loser not because I was stupid I love that I love that you're sharing this like groundbreaking underground secret of

how to do well in school you listen and you study so he was like broken down for me I had no idea like I was doing all this reading and all this extra shit to try to be smart and he just cut it down for me like pay it keep your eyes on her yeah listen to what she's saying and just take certain notes yeah because the thing is teachers write the tests so they're writing down what they told you if you read the book you're reading a bunch of extraneous information that that teach is not that that is not gonna include so he taught me how to narrow it down so I went from sitting to doing homework and study hall for 45 minutes

to 15 minutes yeah and I was getting like bees you know I was in a genius like him yeah you know I mean he was taking like trig his sophomore year that type of shit you know right and he got into MIT we tried coke maybe three weeks before my mother died in 79 like a whole bunch of 79 and somebody had given it to me and I was holding on to it for months I'm like I'm never gonna do this I would sell it from time to time like somebody would give it to me and I would sell it I would get my hands on it and sell it but I would never do it I swore I would never do it in one day I had to go let me bring it with me just in case somebody

wants to do it we robbed the beer truck we ended up at his house and I told him like you want to go upstairs there was like ten of us that's the first time ever so we were scared at first we were little pussies we made vodka with a not gin peppermint schnapps oh yeah I did down the ice cubes you call them snowballs so we sprinkled cocaine on top nice we drank them first I'm like you feel anything now do you feel anything now you sure now yeah and we finally like took a little bit and put it on our gums and yeah I can feel the numbness like let's go for it let's just snort it and we snorted like three lines and then went

back downstairs and everybody was asking us why are you guys acting weird I'm like nothing what I'm doing nothing another time he had a wrestling he had a wrestling finals he was like in the state semi-finals of course genius and the rest he was a fucking wrestler and sure enough I give him a line of THC aka angel dust he's wrestling with the guy and he ended up biting him and that night he calls me he's like you motherfucker I fucking bit the guy in my head it was a street fight so I bit him and I got disqualified cuz of you you know how you passed it you know how you pass fucking your papers up like when

the teacher goes past up his he sat in the end row of my row I was in the front so when I would get his answers I'd erase his answers and shit and he'd come back to me how do I get up 72 I don't understand I wrote that answer down somebody erased it you were the reverse curve oh my god I used to fuck with him that's great he asked to move to a different row I mean it's just and we're still tight now he you know I talked to him every other day basically and one day last week when when we when I switched over I called him up and I do patreon and I was gonna ask him to help me with the patreon I go do you want to

help me with the pay but I know that he's he's who bots you know I'm saying like he's he's selling coke to this one he's making drug deals he showed up here a week ago with a case full of sneakers I mean it's fucking hilarious he just called me out of the blue and he's like I got a present for you because he sounds like Lee that's why I love Lee for all those years because he reminds me of this guy right and I think it was either Sunday or Saturday called me and he's like I'm in the area did you mind if I stop by got a present for you and I'm like I'll meet you outside you can't come in my wife the COVID he pulled up

with a mask on you know the last guy expected with a mask on you just got his teeth in he got new teeth and helped him out with the teeth yeah and he brought me something like he brought me a pineapple like this is no shit he brought me a pineapple like he brings me like the most craziest shit you know a case of sneakers a pineapple sneakers that didn't fit for my daughter that they fit my daughter she's like who gave him to my god your uncle Jimmy and then she goes where is he I want to meet him I go he don't know Jimmy don't play that shit you know I'm saying Jimmy don't want to come in Jimmy like just take him he

showed up like with the weirdest stuff and then he showed me he goes look what I got and he showed me like a vial of coke he goes I'm making a delivery I just came by to tell you I love you and give you some fruit apples he brought some tangerines you know and stolen sneakers I mean tremendous where else do you have friends like that this is why I'm back here back to Jersey I called him he called me the other day he goes I need a favor can you throw me some dough I am gonna get I sent it to him and he sent me the dough back yesterday and I called him back last night let me tell you something it has been an honor to have

you in my life I just want you to know that you were one of the reasons I moved back here because you put so much pleasure he's always come through he's always one of those kids that when I was a kid and I was in a mess if I was in the hotel room away from the night before and then the Hindu was calling me we need the $44 for the next night and I wouldn't have it I'd have to call him and he wouldn't just bring me $44 he bring me two chicken cutlets a valium two joints a pineapple you know I'm saying like it was always a bag I my mom made roast beef like so much that today I can't turn my back on him no

matter what like this time you'll call me he's in a pinch I'll give it to you next week I don't hear from him do I get mad no because he basically saved my life when I was a kid never told anybody what he did for me you know how when people give you money like I had to give cocoa 200 he never repeated what he did for me as a child yeah he was just my friend right he had a Volkswagen that wouldn't go in reverse so he used to have to open up his door and push his foot backwards he shot me in the dick with a BB gun one day I was coming out of my backyard he beat the horn and when I come around the backyard I see him with a

rifle pointed at me like Lee Harvey Oswald I'm like what's going on also I felt like he shot me with a pellet gun right on my dick I didn't even get mad at him like you know you would say to somebody what the fuck is wrong with you I laughed my ass off because only he would think I shoot me in the dick cuz he told me if you show me a dick I'm gonna shoot it and I remember one day put it on his car he's like that's it I'm gonna shoot it sure enough I come out of the side of the house and there he is staring at me with the Volkswagen with a BB rifle when he shot me riding the fucking dick though I got in this car we

went to the city cop the bag of dope and we laughed the whole way through like jingle bells fucking craziness did somebody was stupid enough I never shot a gun so my friends from Texas Gale and she goes and she buys me a BB gun for my 50th birthday a pump you know a pump gun and so I go out in the backyard and I got my nephew there and my nephew is like a he was like a Navy Seal and so he's very he's very into guns he's got a Glock he's got all these fucking Israeli 12 gauge fucking handguns and so we're in the backyard with it with the gun and we're shooting each other we're seeing who can take more pumps shoot each other

in the ass and then he starts going let's shoot cans so he's throwing cans in the air and we're trying to shoot the coke can before it hits the ground so anyway we do this all day and then the next day I get a text from my next door neighbor who's got two little kids and they they text me a picture of their blown-out window with BBs in it their kids room she goes do you have a BB gun it took me about 12 minutes to muster this rates are right yes I do I had to go over that could have shot her fucking kids eye out I'm 54 years old Joey what am I doing just having a good time this is trying to have a good time hey how you

doing in the COVID man I mean I how you hanging in you got a you got places you can go that you feel safe absolutely you know I have kept it light yeah really really really have kept it light you got your comedy night once once a week at that one gig and by the way for people wonder what I put in my mouth there was Lucy gum before the rumors start right here this is what was making all that noise I've been okay I got Vinnie's on Wednesday nights right I got two more weeks now I'm taking the summer off Greg there you go I think we did a lot the last 10 years yep I think that I didn't realize what we had done the last 10

years it blew my fucking wig off when I watched the comedy store documentary it really hit me of who I was and who I become and how much I've changed during this pandemic you know yeah we become family men now more than ever I mean I know you've always loved your boys and you you've talked to spoken to me about your boys but this has made you tighter with them yeah by now if your wife hasn't killed you or you killed your wife that means you've gotten tighter tighter I feel absolutely close to my wife I feel closer to my wife now yeah this situation has really I was fucked up when I got here mm-hmm I was just

fucked up mentally you know physically the whole LA move it just fucked me up and doing the patreon and doing the podcast brought me back a little bit little by little the podcast were brutal in the beginning I went Bill Burstyle and I must have lost a big chunk of my audience and that's fine because this is a lesson for everybody that you have to start over again yeah gained the public's trust again and then it didn't help the 2,000 people started new podcast everybody was out of work so now they started a new podcast right so things change the podcast format has changed in the world but I'm still very

happy yeah I'm a little disenchanted would stand up but that's okay that's funny you know because I I've been me you and I talked about this we talked on the phone last week and we were talking about that of like not feel like the honeymoon the honeymoon period's kind of over it's over but that but then I went out last night we did this show because you know I do that st. Patrick's Day show at the improv you've done for me a million times I put it on every year and so so none of the clubs are open in LA so there's a golf course up the street from my house and they've got this outdoor cafe and they got picnic tables

and I and I found a little fucking like a what do you call those wood things that are on the ground a pellet I guess a little they said that's a stage go go run to the music store and get a couple lights we got a microphone I got Jackie Flint Kevin Flynn we got what same anyway we got a bunch of comics and we packed a place everybody fucking showed up was outside everybody wore their masks my daughter came out she's 17 she's never seen me do stand-up before so I went up there and I'm nervous you know because first of all I haven't been doing stand-up so I'm nervous on top of that and on top of that this is the first time

my daughter who's been sitting across from me from the dinner table for 17 years I crack her up every night I do bits with her every night she sleeps with the dog in her bed and every night I take the dog and I do something funny with the dog when I bring it into her room it's the last thing that happens at the end of the day I make her laugh sometimes I take the dog I put tinfoil on his head and I say that he's getting transmissions from space sometimes I put him in a roller bag and I zip it up and I pull it into the room I put fucking masks on him every night it's a different bit and she left but she's never

seen me do stand-up and I'm thinking to myself like this is gonna be a formative moment for her to see what dad does for a living this is my identity this is my love she's always known that I did it but she's never seen it so I went up there Joey I ripped the tits off that place I gave it and I do my my all these new bits I've been writing during quarantine and and doing shit fucking around people in the crowd shit not people and I got off and she gave me a big hug and she goes dad I'm so proud of you that was such a beautiful moment well I can't show my daughter my stand-up yet for reasons unknown well the first thing

I said on stage was my daughter's in the audience tonight which is gonna make this tricky cuz half my jokes are about fucking her mother I can't my daughter's eighth she just gave me a day she goes I heard you say the effort I was like I know I won't say it anymore yeah no I've said it before but I think she finally learned what it was it's cool yeah something right you know everybody curses in New Jersey you know yeah right she had no choice the other day I called her mother an unconscionable ball buster and her mother went upstairs and she goes did you hear the conversation she goes yeah I heard that call you an

unconscionable ball she didn't hear buster she just heard ball cuz my wife I was sitting and I'm trying to watch something she's telling me some story but something I go stop stop yeah you have been an unconscionable ball buster during this fucking pandemic busting my balls when I'm trying to watch something now you want to tell me this fucking story it's like that girlfriend that tells you she got uncle molested during halftime you're trying to watch a game and during halftime she times to deflate you like your team is losing you're not covering the spread also your uncle molested you really I need this now in

my fucking life you couldn't tell me this on Valentine's night when we're eating fucking spamoni or some shit you just you know my wife will talk about something at the wrong fucking time I'm sitting here in pain I just gave up the pain meds I got a split fucking headache you know I had surgery so it's a fucking major surgery and I'm sitting here fighting off pain at night just sitting here like a fucking water dell waiting for my leg because you know when you have replaced surgery you have nightmares that you're gonna walk and yeah your leg behind you like that's my biggest fear that my leg is just gonna

fall off from the fucking knee down yeah I'm gonna be standing there like a putz and all of a sudden there's an ankle and I'm gonna fucking faint so I choose taller than the other one you're that guy no it's fucking it has been and the pain pills with a different journey that's a different psychological journey and until you go you know what it's either pain or this feeling this creepy feeling I'll deal with the fucking pain I got CBD lying I got fucking yeah you know the arthritis cream I've got you know the CBD under the tongue really works oh yeah I tell you it takes away the pain by have you tried to roll on or

the gels because I got some of that that omax cryo freeze that shit I got listen I got CBD line roll on yeah I do the whole process like rolling on I let it sink into the knee I let it air dry and then I put the tens on and I'm pretty much electrocute myself and then I forget I got the tens on and I go for soda and the soda hits me in the finger and I get like fucking a little jolt like a little electrocution myself I feel like fucking that guy and escape from Alcatraz like every night when I have the tens on I go tonight tonight I electrocute myself I've added so I had such a rough fucking pandemic people yeah

do not understand that from March to fucking May of June I was pretty much knocking myself out every night with drugs what kind of drugs you name it whatever would put me to fuck down you know yeah for 12 years I went to a doctor and every nine months every 90 days he refilled the prescription for asthma prime the babies annexed the white ones I had a 12-year supply that I never touched never when the fuck do I you know I get a little bit of anxiety before I go on stage so I started putting footballs their footballs white footballs I would put them in my top pocket and I forget to take it when I

got to the store I would only take them back you know sometimes I would go to the store walk up the stairs to the original room yeah and since they blacked out the window I would get anxiety yeah cuz I couldn't see the outside and then I never touched them really but 12 fucking 13 years I didn't touch him I think I took five or six of them when I had that feeling you know yeah during the pandemic I was eating fucking ten of those things at night yeah plus a thousand milligrams available damn plus reefer all fucking day plus would you have a drink I drank the first time on Rogan's podcast I had a

shot of whiskey because I was I was doing the between the pills and the edibles I think the alcohol would have killed me yeah I was gonna say you can't lie to the alcohol when you're taking all that stuff and that's the thing about me like during this when I left the hospital after the knee surgery they gave me 13 fucking prescriptions muscle relaxers you know so right away I went on a fucking I got them in the refrigerator the little shit the little yogurts you drink for your stomach the coat your stomach and right I tried everything you know there were pills I

don't need to take like they tried to put me on like an anxiety medications all after one of those that you just don't need one minute you're taking them jumping up and down the next minute you're hanging from a tree like Chris Cornell yeah right I don't want to hang those no disrespect to Chris Cornell no I know believe me I know a lot of people that have died taking I don't want to take none of that shit yeah you know and one day I finally woke up out of the fucking pill craze the little white footballs and I was like these things aren't making me feel well mm-hmm and the edibles weren't helping so what

I did was when I came here I changed everything like I changed everything I changed my diet stopped butter meat on certain days I focused on sleep a lot more sleep and I focused on switching my time change which was a fucking nightmare really I was yeah I was going to bed at one in LA that means I was going to bed at four here yeah so for the first two weeks I was sleeping four to eight and walking around like a Zombo and like looking at me I was so petrified from World News tonight yeah that fucking David Muir he was like fucking my my fucking exorcist I just scared the fuck out of me I would be

home every day at 3 30 pinned to the TV counting the debts and I come here and nobody's got mask on and people having barbecues in their backyard first couple weeks it was fucking brutal to sit around like I would be dying inside but I said fuck it I'm gonna switch so I stopped eating edibles and I you know yeah that's it I use them just to go to sleep at night how many milligrams you take to go to sleep that you don't want to know that's a personal secret a thousand I take them the syringe form they come in a fucking syringe it's a thousand and I put it in the tea I drink a special two milligram tea called

yeah that has CBD and CBN and I will throw a whole fucking thousand milligrams in the fucking tea and then 200 milligram capsules of ABX no oh yeah and then I fucking now I read so I turn the TV off I read until I feel a little fucking no bots and I go upstairs and I dream in purple everything's in purple dude my dreams like a thousand milligrams a thousand to switch I got these you're gonna laugh but I got these little mints at the at the store because I don't I'm not a big pot guy but I got these two and a half milligram tremendous I got dude they just I come home sometimes and I pop one if I'm stressed out all

sudden I'm looking the wife in the eye I got time for everybody I'm doing paint by numbers reading a book it just takes the edge off it's fantastic it's fantastic thousand I can't imagine a thousand I'm fucking changing this game I'm gonna fucking go to God I'm gonna go to Congress and tell them that it's so weird how these edibles and this marijuana you don't need pills and I proved it to myself with the surgery with the pain pills like listen the first two weeks I needed the Oxycontin after that I didn't need it no more the feeling was horrible and I kept having to take him and I finally he switched me

off him I was trying to wean off him myself and I'm so proud I threw the magic number away I threw 13 of them away were you taking those hard shits you're taking those coral people it's like a piece of coral coming out of your ass once you're on that for a few weeks it was like listen the surgery shit was five days before I took a shit and when it hurt it felt like I was getting gang raped by 20 fucking Puerto Ricans in my asshole because it was like yeah the shit was skinny on the way out but then it opened up like a ball of constrictors and hard hard it was hard as a rock yeah I can't describe the pain of the first

two shits but they gave me a medication that was like a bomb like they told you to take it after dinner at 7 30 and you would actually feel it yeah and they would just clean out your intestines I had to take a shit during a podcast one day I did a podcast with Ryan Sickle came out Monday watched the podcast on zoom I had to take it into the bathroom and shit cuz when you got to go now you got to go there's no holding back wait did you did you continue the podcast I'm gonna call time out that this for pussies yeah you gotta commit you gotta commit yeah I gotta watch that oh my god it was a tremendous three logs there

was sitting and one block in the other one if it was the Indians it was like Indians made it was perfect when I had a flush twice and then I got up to pee he gave me shit cuz I don't put my dick in the toilet could never since I'm like for I'm like what is your dick when you're shit you're supposed to pee in the toilet yeah up to pee I don't wait so where's your penis while you're taking a dump in my hand I hold my my nuts act I don't want let me tell you something the third night is like driving a stick shift and I got that ball sack that's gigantic let me tell you the third or fourth night of the

surgery I want to take a shit like to try I had a fart like a twisted fart stuck to one of your little chubby ribs yeah and I went in the bathroom to shit and I had my pants down and when I went to bend down I had a whole down my balls picked up the toilet seat and I sat on my balls and I couldn't get up you don't know what pain and confusion is it was either between my balls or my knees I didn't know what hurt more that through 300 pounds on your fucking ball sack and they didn't do nothing not even bruised they're beautiful my ball sacks are made of fucking steel that's how I know I'm a

fucking ball is I am balls all the way to the end I sat on my nuts and I remember sitting there feeling like my nuts were stretched out yeah like the skin like I thought I was gonna and I'm like ah and I just fucking had to like wiggle my way back up and I had to stand there for like four minutes and say God I don't know what I did to deserve this but this is a fucking karma killer right here this is I'm good now for a couple months I sat on my own nut sack how I didn't go to the hospital or I mean I don't I don't even if that happened to me that would be the night I took the thousand milligrams that would be that

night I don't even know man oh my god it has been it has been but on the other hand I miss you guys I miss the comedy store I miss you man it's hard not having you around man he always warm me up when I see you please I missed who I was you know because I've changed like a feeling like when I drive now I'm like I'm a fucking suburban dad yeah right I drive around a dead deer every fucking day like I live in the sticks and I'm like my life has changed so much I don't even know who the fuck I am but lately it's been coming back to me you know and that's why I'm enjoying the zooms with all my old friends because yeah I didn't

want to go to zoom I was bill burning until the pandemic is over and then I was just gonna have live guests but Bill Burr is Bill Burr for a fucking reason he's a fucking animal he's to pull off that hour podcast by himself I was having a hard time I'm getting it now I'm getting a lot better at it but I'm not Bill Burr you know I'm saying so yeah I want to mix it up a little bit plus I wanted to see you guys I wanted to see you I want to look into your eyes there's something I got to tell you the first one of the first things I did when I got here was I bumped into the kid that owned the house that Puerto Rican

Nelson the pervert in our neighborhood lived in yeah I told you that story first yeah yeah right about the pedophile my neighborhood yep and it's so funny that Jimmy Florentine told me a fucking hilarious story about growing up in Jersey that there was a wrestler a guy that was a wrestling photographer that would take pictures and sell them to kids outside the garden but he was really a pedophile he would tell you that he had two ringside seats and to come down but then when you got down you had to sit on his lap and he would nibble on you you're watching only at one seat and I'm sitting there going Jimmy isn't it funny

like in New Jersey we all knew who the pedophile was and we fucked with him like other kids like I got molested by you let him molest you we tormented Puerto Rican Nelson we we tell him come play football with us he come out with the robe with no underwear on you know he thought he was gonna get some ass but we'd always shut him down we knew he was a fucking pedophile to this day you know the ice cream we let him buy an ice cream and then he go we're all going back to my house look at the globe right yeah yeah yeah fuck you yeah cuz he had a globe he wanted to show us all the places he'd been to go fuck yourself

don't see no fucking globe but are you an English teacher the fuck out of your you know who the pedophiles is and you fuck with him in Jersey like you know until one day you get pissed off you like 13 just fuck him up like Nelson didn't last that long for us to fuck him up right now you go to the Midwest everybody just gets molested everybody gets molested and they leave it there you know yeah I'm a big dog I fucking vividly remember wanting to be a Cub Scout like a little fag like I went and bought the patches and I was trying to like fires by myself with sticks and I'm like fuck that I gotta join the Boy Scouts I still

remember where I went it was a church and the Boy Scouts were meeting the back once a week in the church and I remember going there and I wasn't I was never an altar boy but I worked the bingo hall and I never got a funny feeling from the priest I could always admit that I never got molested by a priest nothing like that but I remember going to that fucking Cub Scout we blow meeting and you blow and I didn't like the word off the bat like we blow yeah right and then I thought the guy was creepy I thought the guy like I went twice maybe and I was like you know what something right here and then now it's all over television

you know if you got molested by a Boy Scout call this number oh more than the Catholic priests are saying yeah incidents with the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts and the Catholic priests and I know a lot of people who are good Cub Scouts is like everything else there's good cops there's bad cops there's good Cubans there's bad Cubans right there's good Irish and there's bad Irish how is your St. Patty's Day beside the comedy eat some corned beef I ate it well I told you about that comedy show so I told the people at the cafe I said you guys are making corned beef and cabbage I want you to order about 16

cases of Guinness and then I baked I baked a couple of Irish soda breads my it's my grandmother's recipe I bought a couple sticks of that Irish butter and I sliced it up for I cooked it so it was still hot when I got there and then I listen to fucking Clancy Brothers all they fight in songs guys singing about four green fields you know they stole my four green fields but my sons have sons and you know I'm fucking jigging around the house I had I love it I miss it I miss New York City because we used to march every year since I was five years old I marched in the parade with my grandfather he was with the ancient

order of hibernians from the Bronx he came to this country when he was fucking 16 years old he worked for the electric company and he raised he raised six kids in the Bronx on no fucking money and and he used to walk proud he put on his suit with the sash chin up in the air and you know all these kids from Long Island and Jersey are throwing up and taking a piss on a mailbox he didn't look at that he looked straight ahead marching like he was in the IRA when he was in Ireland he ran messages for the for the IRA from town to town when he was like 13 14 years old what an interesting fucking race the Irish

what an interesting race and what I've gotten from them is nothing but balls yeah like I've gotten balls from Irish people I met like I'm like man yeah when I was a kid there was a kid Chuckie McBreen he's the head coach of the Ramapole men's basketball team we still talk I love that motherfucker with all my heart because he was tiny but the balls on him till the end and he would argue with you till the end even if you were bigger than him and you know what he wouldn't fight you that wasn't his style but he was such a classy guy I loved him and now you know his season that didn't have a budget for the COVID this

year so he got canceled but it's so weird all the Irish kids I grew up with they were very similar to Cuban kids were very hard-headed we go and head first without thinking you know yeah yeah we swing first yeah and it's also like the Irish you know we never had you look at some European countries the French or the Italians we never had that clothing style we dressed like fucking pigs big big wool sweaters and you know shit kicker boots and the food's terrible everything's boiled and and all that but but when it came to loyalty when it came to storytelling people that could hold your attention they

respected that you were paying attention to them so they gave you a good story and a good laugh and yeah and the loyalty and the fighting spirit the independence you know this I go over that we're supposed to go to Ireland last summer but we couldn't go because of COVID but we're supposed to go to Cuba remember I was gonna go to Cuba in the spring and then we were going to Ireland in the summer both both trips got canceled but as soon as the COVID dies down we're going to both places both fucking highly Catholic countries that's right well it's a Catholic Island you know it's really a fucking island but

highly yeah Catholic would everybody I respect you in a lot of ways you're staying you're gonna hunker down and fucking stay in LA you know I I don't live in LA I live in Venice Beach and that's a big difference Venice Beach is a neighborhood you know I know every one of my neighbors for two blocks in every direction people have open yards no fences dogs kids everybody's walking back and forth I'm a mile from the beach I I do fucking yoga on the beach on Sunday mornings we play volley Sam volleyball on the beach on the weekends we got poker nights you know is a lot of good-looking young people a lot of hot

young girls walking around the neighborhood it's the greatest I love it so you're good down there where am I gonna go where am I gonna go this better than that to me it's about like it's about being able to socialize without getting in my car in Los Angeles I walk down the street we have dinner with some friends at their house you know it's easy are you getting vaccinated when it's your turn I got one I got to get the second one yeah and you're gonna do comedy inside you feel great the whole thing you're yeah I got some I get well let me mention my dates I got a couple coming up I'm gonna be in next weekend

I don't know when this airs but I'm gonna be in where am I going hold on I'm going to Raleigh North Carolina you know good nights right I'll be there March 25th through the 27th and then I'll be at Philly and helium the 22nd through the 25th of April and then I got Kansas City coming up after that maybe San Francisco I'm not sure if they're gonna open the club so you're doing your thing you're hanging in there no homeless by you down there oh we got homeless we got a lot of homeless yeah it's a big issue man it's like you know people are pitching in though you know we we help out at this soup kitchen the people

concerned we go out there buy some groceries drop it off on Sundays and you know you try to throw some money on the street talk to them like they're human beings don't walk past them that's what I did when I was in North Hollywood but towards the end it got a little even I like personal protection I had a big black homeless dude that was fucking six from four what do you want to do oh yeah fuck it yeah and I would see him and throw him 20s yeah I would see him and pull over and have my daughter give him a 20 I go you see my daughter get into a jam you jump in there gee that's nice no worries I'm killing motherfucker for you

D yeah you know he called me D all the time he was great I had a couple guys I had another guy that wouldn't let me help him give him food we let me give him clothes and shit like that yeah yeah would bring him vitamins you know yeah this is you helping your community that's the best you could do you can't help everybody yeah but you do now look here's the bottom line we live in Los Angeles it's got the best weather of anywhere in the country anywhere in the country it doesn't get too hot in the summer it doesn't get too cold in the winter so people everybody wants to say oh look at the California's look at you

now you got all these homeless yeah where do you think they came from they came from your shit state you know when they couldn't afford to live there anymore because they're on the streets you think they're gonna stay on the streets in Ohio or fucking deep in Texas no they're coming out to California it's not our problem it's all of our problems and so you know people have a reaction to it and they say well fuck this I'm leaving town I don't want to be around these homeless people well how about you stay home and you fix your home that's no offense to you I know you didn't leave because of the homeless you

know no no I see a lot of people they leave LA and then they want to shit on it on the way out it's like you know I didn't shit on the way out I felt bad to be honest to you I felt yeah very bad but I always knew like I didn't buy I never bought for a reason I looked right at Woollen Hills and it just didn't rub me the right way when I went looking I think we went right after we had the baby yeah and I was like let's just see where we end up you know I was thinking about moving to Tennessee I mean I had always been thinking it was he's gonna be Tennessee close to my wife's family Jersey or back to Colorado I just I

couldn't go back to Boulder I disrespected Boulder enough I really did time there I didn't want to go back to Boulder I didn't deserve it you know I was gonna go to like Telluride or something oh yeah that's nice there but I've realized one thing that even with you Rogan all my friends you know comedy-wise I was missing something there was something missing I was I feel that I had been gone long enough I wanted my daughter experienced White Castleburgers you know I wanted her Monday night she had a bad night and I took it a carvel and on the way there I go what are you gonna have and she goes

I'm gonna have a chocolate ice cream soda yeah I go when it was the last time you had one of those she goes well I tasted your vanilla one it was that good to sit across from my daughter eating a carvel chocolate ice cream like for her to and as soon as she got it she didn't say two words she started sipping it she drank it all the way to the fucking bottom I had tears in my eyes yeah Saturday night is date night here we all sit home and watch the honeymoon is at 9 30 oh no shit right she bunker last week he said chink and my daughter's like what's that and don't worry about it he said chink on TV like 2021 they WP IX said

fuck it we don't give a fuck we're not gonna edit them followed by him threatening his wife with domestic violence for five minutes no man then we watch you know then you watch the honeymoon is he's gonna knock her out to the moon and you but when she said when she said what's a chink me and my wife nearly shit off fucking pants cuz what do you tell him you know like what that was the TV in the fucking 70s and well let daddy tell you about a story that happened up at a massage parlor in Michigan yeah no but I would never I don't use racial epithets in front now one thing I don't because you learn

racism at home she doesn't she has African-American friend and Chinese friends and yeah best friend is a Jewish little girl and she loves saying her name you know the whole thing so that's all been great but I do miss you guys yeah I think when the comedy store opens it's gonna really affect me a little bit right it was parts of me I wanted it not to open up so I wouldn't feel so bad you know yeah yeah but I think once it opens up eventually we'll have a little reunion out there fucking must your spirit your spirits always gonna be in that back hallway Joey yeah we're gonna feel you there no yes it is man and I

I think that's the way to take it I came to terms that once it opens up we'll give it some time and we'll get all the band together broken yourself Burr who's ever allowed in there you never know anymore you know right right there's no shows yeah there's a few no shows and we'll do the best we can until that time you and I'll keep talking every other week yep we'll continue to be Irish Catholic Cuban brothers and hopefully you can make it the Cuban meet my aunt and because my aunt was gonna hook you up you know I bring you over and cook for you yeah I need that I need that experience in my

life that that meet my sister maybe you know you would have I haven't seen my sister in 50 years you would have got to meet my sister yeah bad what I was there was she was planning on giving you an envelope for me like pictures and shit like that huh I think you're probably gonna send me down with an envelope to yeah I probably know I was thinking about sending you down with an envelope a little cash to give them cuz you send money the fucking communists take 30 40% it's like having 10 fucking agents you send the hundred bucks you only get 20 yeah right the fuck is that so every time I send money that's an

extra money because the fucking it the Cubans take it so but I miss your brother and I'm happy you took the time on a Monday morning to talk to me of course of course any day congratulations on your daughter watching you do comedy yeah wait yeah till I could take my daughter to see me and for her to go dad what the fuck was that you know yeah I won't have that high energy I'll be too old by that time but I'll give it fucking hell you know I'm saying yeah yeah you'll give it the best that you've ever given it fits I love you at all my heart thank you very much for coming on the joint and we'll talk like we usually

do brother I'll be alright buddy I love you too thank you very much for doing this you got it stay black alright take care we're back cock suckers I hope you enjoyed it Greg Fitzsimmons is one of my all-time fucking favorites you know I had to tell him about Puerto Rico Nelson that I looked them up when I got back here to see if we could find them and then we couldn't find them blah blah so it all worked out man but now what do we do what we're doing on Mondays from now on is I'm contacting all the comics that I miss and we're gonna do a little podcastio and in time you'll see all your favorites some you might like some you

might not but I'm just getting this zoom thing going because listen guys I don't know how far this is gonna go and I'm sick and tired of sitting here and expecting you to pay attention to me for a fucking hour I don't want to do that either I don't want to listen to me for a fucking hour either so we had to integrate some guests in here just to fucking give you a different taste and a different look see you know I'm saying I hope you people are enjoying it you know I love Greg you could tell in our little fucking chitchat that we both needed to see each other this is what it's been guys if you're feeling a little weird a

little out of sorts right now amen it's alright we're all feeling weird out of sorts but your friendships are still there and they shouldn't feel weird and out of sorts reach out they might make your day look at my day it's getting I'm getting better every time you fucking guys see me and it's because I'm taking the right steps I eliminate those fucking edibles from my daytime life and now I'm a normal fucking dad I'm just a normal person I'm out of that LA bullshit I'm happy to be out of that type you know that little tax toxic type environment that everybody is needy and everybody needs to have Instagram friends

and all this shit I'm out of that now I'm just a regular suburban fucking dad I'm not looking for nothing I didn't get the Ray Romano movie did I fucking cry I was like no so what who cares really you're not upset no it wasn't meant to be God didn't put it in the fucking path they meant to be you move on and they're shooting in Queens anyway so you know what the fucking radio transmission is like four point fucking nine over there you sneeze if you sneeze you get fucking COVID over there if you push out you get COVID so everything happens for a reason this I do have to accept things guys sometimes listen it wasn't gonna

change my life but I just wanted to work a little bit I never met Ray Romano I like to be in his day directorial debut but it didn't work out that way and that's this is what life is about it's adjusting you gotta have to take a couple of nose before you get to a yes and that's it every once in a while you know no no no nobody wants me okay there's gonna be one person who's gonna want you and that's that's been the truth of me all my life so hang in there I know we're going through two tough times but we're almost out of fucking weeds there's still a little shit it's gonna drop but that still means we can still

make progress and still push forward every week and still get fucking what we need I will get the vaccine in time I promise you guys right now I'm not doing nothing fucking spectacular to do it I mean I'm sorry about Uncle Vinnie's last week that they had a canceled there's a rumor going around that I have COVID I took three fucking tests I ain't got no fucking COVID so I don't know where the fuck that got that came around like 10 people call me you got COVID not really the club I don't know I don't know what happened so I'm on my business I don't know nothing and I advise you to do the fucking same I love

you motherfuckers I'm happy you're enjoying the joint I'm happy you enjoyed this episode I'm having a great time Mike's having a great time and we're just trying to put this motherfucker together for you every Monday and Wednesday that's all we're doing no explosives no lights no bullshit just straight up fucking coming at you and every week we're gonna get better and better and this is what life is about it's getting just a little better every week I don't need to be number one listen I'm getting a little better every week I know you guys are too so thank you very much for supporting us thank you for

watching and I'll see you motherfuckers Wednesday morning tip top motherfucking my goop now for a word from our sponsors I love you cocksuckers stay black all right cocksuckers I want to thank you guys for listening I want to thank great for Simmons for being a gentleman there's always always a piss of having them on always a piss of seeing them guys I'm getting a lot out of these zooms this is really helping me a lot it's a it's a different podcast and it's a you know what I sometimes you got to surrender and I'm making you guys even happy and that's all that matters to me is that you guys are happy before

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from my heart draft this shit is fucking fun I took a beating on Saturday night I fucking was making fun of the Grand Canyon and they fucking covered those cocksuckers so be careful anyway download the top graded draft Kings sportsbook app right now use promo code Joey when you sign up to turn a dollar into $100 of you the college basketball team are you choosing pulls off the win that's code Joey to turn a dollar into $100 that's 100 to one odds guys come on give yourself a break and this for a limited time only at draft Kings sportsbook app here's the fine print you got to be 21 all the New Jersey

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want to thank Greg Fitzsimmons I want to thank you guys I want to thank patreon I love all you cocksuckers stay black not only is the joint coming out today on YouTube but we have a lot of Scott got a Spanish podcast that comes out on patreon three dollars five and ten knock yourselves the fuck out I love you motherfuckers stay black have a great week Uncle Joey loves you you