Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #050 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... Wednesday, March 24th..... Today, we talked about current events..... This episode is brought to you by Express VPN, ONNIT & DraftKings...... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com and enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.Onnit.com and enter Code: CHURCH Go to https://www.ExpressVPN.com/JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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I got my happy blue shirt on because what else are you gonna fucking wear? You got to be happy, you know I'm saying Blue makes me feel better makes you feel better. I'm not coming with a black shirt The whole fucking thing especially when I wake up the fucking weird. Listen We're living in a world that you never know what you're gonna wake up to anymore. I woke up this morning I got my coffee, you know, I kissed my daughter. I talked to her for a few minutes And you go downstairs and what the fuck you open up the computer and I got a read the fucking What's that chicks name from threes company? Not Sally

Susan Susan whatever is 73 as she's having fucking Sex fucking four times a day. I need to know that I need to know that that I'm happy for you Whatever your fucking name is what's the name? Summers Suzanne Summers is having sex three times a day by lunchtime first of all Listen, do you I'm like you I'm 58 and I have a hard time looking at my dick cuz I'm getting old I can't imagine what a 70 year old twat smells and smells and tastes like at this point in the game Suzanne you're good-looking, but you're fucking 74 step back

I mean, this is what you got to wake up to a 74 year old telling you she's having fucking sex You know, that's great. What's your pussy smell like panty liners and fucking piss and whatever. Are you fucking crazy, Suzanne? Summers I woke up and I thought about that image on the computer. I'm like what the fuck is going on with the world Every fucking day is something crazy. Suzanne Summers. What else fucking happened something else happened that fucking I sat there And I couldn't believe it. Oh, oh crispy cream is giving you a fucking donut if you get the vaccine. Whoa Fuck I'm running down there now T one of those old donors they throw away to the homeless people at night That's what you're gonna get. Can you imagine stick like what fucking incentive is that that crispy cream is gonna give you a fucking

Donut you wanted to send it to me. Give me a fucking lobster tail How about a ball lick if you get the cold the test to have like fucking Suzanne Summers in a 74 year old pussy Giving you a fucking ball lick or something like this. What the fuck is going on every time you open up the computer It's something fucking different in the morning. You're like, but I just read what I just fucking read Am I just fucking going crazy? Was it black Sabbath has a song am I going insane? Tell me people am I going insane? I gotta tell you something. That's how I feel sometimes by the shit. I'm reading Suzanne fucking Summers Unfucking believable. I have sex three times by lunchtime. He's company good for you. Good for you Suzanne 74 years old

You're fucking saggy titties and you're saggy fucking pussy. Your clit hangs down low and shit. It's a fucking nightmare. I just Who would have fucking would say that in this time like that's gonna make my mental health a bit better I'm happy for you Suzanne Summers, but now to get to the fucking thick and the heavy man Monday blew my fucking mind. I Was having a great day. I was busy as fuck and I got bad news from two fucking fronts The first front I got bad news from is my daughter started softball. It was fucking tremendous She started her first fucking practice Monday night

Guys, you don't know what it's like when your life comes full circle and some days You'll all be in my position when you're older and you get to look at back at what you've done and what you haven't done and How your life is gone and It's just great that that God gave me a second chance and we picked up another girl from a team and we drove her and They broke them into three fucking You know three little fucking Areas and some girls batted some girls Fucking ran bases some girls got you know learn how to feel the some girls learn how to cab it was just

Tremendous, but in the middle of this the first call I got was that there was a shooting in Boulder, you know, I Was so enthralled in the moment the sunshine My daughter talking to other parents that when my friend called me he was like, you know, it was George My brother he was like it was the the King Supers That we used to go to and I'm like really and I didn't like I said guys I was so in the moment That I didn't think about what was going on afterward my daughter

We dropped the girl off Nicole and me and my daughter went we got some I got a vegetarian burrito It doesn't really matter what happened. We came home and then Last night I got a chance, you know, just for some fucking Reason against my best interest. I turned on that fucking CNN and I was watching what was going on and I Was heartbroken I was just fucking heartbroken. I told you guys eight months ago that COVID wasn't the only problem we have right now The problem that we have right now in this country is mental health Mental health has gone to shit. How do I how do we know?

How do I know this? Because I suffered through it. I went through a fucking mental mental breakdown March April May if you watch The first five episodes of this podcast. I was stuttering still. I wasn't myself. This is a man. It just happens this Isolation changing careers This puts a strain on people, you know relationships people, you know, people are really getting to think this gives you a time to think So I knew things were gonna happen, you know, this thing up in fucking Minneapolis is a shame the COVID the amount of people dying

You know, this country is just going through a period of we're unsettled still, you know, we've been locked in a cage for a year You know, some people have no unemployment some people Just it's just everybody has a different way of handling things for me it was fucking going to fucking Pills and fucking edibles and smoking pot all day and I knew that wasn't the fucking answer I had to deal with what was in front of me, but this bolder thing last night Really fucking made me fucking think because that supermarket Was a special place to me as dumb as the sound and you know guys

I tell you how I feel from the bottom of my heart on every fucking episode last night when I was looking at first of all that King Supers was just a Supermarket and then if you went Passed down. There was a little tiny strip mall and there was a bar They had a couple things I really don't remember I knew they had a bar because they had a dinner special and every night they had like a early dinner like five to seven You get like for $9 you got and they made a tremendous Trout almond Dean and I would go there twice or three times a week You know that King Supers

I lived in that area from September of 87 To April of 88 that is where I lived South Boulder when I Kidnapped Vella. I lived across the street from that supermarket. That's the supermarket I still remember all the shit that happened in that supermarket. I used to You know, I used to shop there So I would shop every kind of every other day

Let's say I would go for something to eat fresh and I remember one Sunday hung over I You know crossed the street. I didn't go to the yellow light to the corner. I in the middle I just cut across the street jaywalking what they call it and Well, I was jaywalking. I heard a Tire hit something and it hit a wallet that was on the floor and I remember like hitting the corner and going Somebody threw a wall out of a car. Let me go see what's in there and I just felt a curiosity I went over picked up the wallet. They took the credit cards. They cleaned out everything But there was a little secret compartment and I opened it up and there was $200 bills

I was never so happy in my fucking life. That's one of my pleasant fucking memories about that but that King Supers used to put their bags of dog food outside and I had a dog then Hercules and I would just go shopping and Then on the way out, I would just pick up a bag of dog food and walk home. I wouldn't even pay for it I mean, I'm so fucking ashamed to tell you these stories. There's nothing to do with What happened? I'm just telling you my connection to this place They had a seafood department in there and the guy with some new Orleans the smoothest coolest black dude You've ever been in your life. He loved me in George and he would make his cures

He would make swordfish and mahi mahi and shrimp and peppers and More shrimp and he would put it in skewers and marinated in this fucking new Orleans fucking shit And we were going there every day get swordfish steaks kebabs and just walk out of the store Like I would go when are they gonna find out that we're not we're not paying for this fucking seafood Me and George were eating like fucking kings. That's the apartment that I had the house I had where fucking the cops came to get me That's where I lived when the mailman sprayed my fucking dog and I pushed him and the feds came to my house

dog I got memories from that fucking neighborhood, so You got to understand that that hit me fucking just last night. I was like all this shit kept flashing up I just I called a friend of mine Manny Tamino who was my friend in Boulder who lives in Belmont, New Jersey. I'm gonna go visit him pretty soon and We talked about Boulder and he was like which one what King Supers was it because we live when I lived with Manny That's why I moved April of 88 before I got sentenced. He was my brother man. He still is He lived on the main Boulder He lived in North Boulder Manny and there was a King Supers on a wrap-a-hole Boulevard a wrap-a-hole road

And that was my King Supers That's why I used to go and get the Gouda cheese with the fresh orange sweet juice at night after I do comedy and I would drive to a wrap-a-hole and 55th and there was an Acura dealer there on the dealer and I would just sit in my beat-up fucking jalopy Dreaming about the day that someday I could afford a fucking Acura 30 something years old that I had a beat-up fucking car piece of shit but I Told Manny this I go. I remember all those King Supers, but the one and table Mesa that one where the shooting was Let me tell you what my

Biggest memory was from that. That's where I found out. I was going to fucking prison. I Would shop there like I said every other day. I would go over there whatever, you know Hamburgers shit like that But one day actually one in there and on my kidnapping. That's why I lived when I kidnapped Bella That's why I live when I got out and that's why I lived when I started getting my life together a little bit before I went to prison Up to this point like I got out in December and up to that point. I was like I'm gonna beat this case It had to be like April of 88 and I walked into this King Supers and

I was just walking around the hall, you know, I was looking for whatever the fuck it is I was looking for and I looked up and I saw the district attorney in my case And I had already been writing letters you guys know, I'm a letter writer I started writing them letters as soon as I got out of fucking county, you know, I got this fucking address And I started writing them letters about what happened and I Wasn't saying how sorry I was I wasn't that was my big problem. I was just writing war was me letters, you know Fucking typical junkie shit that that's why I was then, you know, it wasn't my fault It was a bad day, but nowhere would I cop to it, you know

And I'll never forget that I said this is my chance to go Fucking talk to this guy, you know face-to-face with no attorneys Or nothing like this and between you me guys. He was a good guy. He I mean you you guys don't want me to say It was a scumbag. He was gonna throw me in prison. He was doing his job He was a good guy and I approached him like a man and I said I forget what his name is now I said, excuse me gonna have a word with you and he goes You know because of our situations We can't really talk, but

I'll give you two minutes and I said to him, you know Listen, I I did what I did You know, I just played the same broken Joey Diaz record from You know what I was doing in those days. It was always everybody else's fault. It was the world's fault It was that my mom died. It was this it was that we just fucking excuses that I give myself that we all give ourselves After prison, I stopped doing that excuse and I copped to whatever the fuck I do if you do it You did it and copped them and who gives a fuck who would they to judge you anyway? You know, but I was dumb at the time. I was 25 fucking years old. It was 1988

And I went up to him and I went up with my fucking thing. They looked at me and he goes listen, man I appreciate what you're doing. I Appreciate that you're trying to get into college. I appreciate that you got your GED He goes, I appreciate that you're doing these things, but you also have to consider that you did a crime And it was a crime that they could have been up potential for violence a Bullet could have gone on for a neighbor could have been shot Something it could have been a potential for violence. You have to face the fucking music

Nothing has ever cut my stomach like those words when he said it to me. This was way before comedy This was way before people were calling me out You know, I lived the life where nobody would call me out because I was fucking nuts I was fucking nuts, you know, they didn't know what I was gonna do to him Oh, I was gonna react but this guy said shit to me that he wasn't lying He goes listen, man, I looked over your folder. I looked over the investigator reports And I looked over who the fuck you've been for the last whatever years He goes

You've been chucking on jiving He goes, that's your gift and I appreciate it that you have that and I appreciate it that You're doing all these things, but you've been chucking and jiving. It's time for you to pay the fucking piper And I'm sorry to have to be the person to do that. I'm really sorry and I apologize to you And in time, it'll make you a better person. I looked I'm like how is jail gonna make me a better person When I have options of actually going to college. I didn't understand where he was coming from. I needed to fucking change He read me that and I remember we were about a throat like the the frozen out food You know what the shit that you pick like to have my corn dogs and frozen egg rolls and shit like that

There's no windows. I I still remember that he was looking through shit He was telling me this make an eye contact, but when he told me the chucking jive would be lying Like I nearly fucking died because he wasn't lying He told me the fucking truth. He was like listen, man It's time for you to fucking pay the piper You've been fucking chucking and jiving moving along all your life. He goes. I read the reports out of San Francisco You had police contact up there. You had police contact in New Jersey at police contact in New York And I've read all these fucking files and it's time for you to pay for some of your things

I shook his hand. I said, thank you for your time. He shook my hand He told me thank you for understanding and I walked out of there I think George came to me to we slayed and said he wanted to move back to New York But he had gotten an opportunity in framing and that gave me time to think about what that man said to me but that's why this Thing in Boulder is just mind-boggling to me. It is something that It's gonna continue to happen now. I think there was another there's the first time in American history that there was two mass shootings

In one week, you know the other one I think was Asian. It was more of Asians in Florida I don't know what happened. Like I said, I'm not up on the news anymore Because of how down it brought me, you know, I tried to avoid yahoo with the fucking plague You know, I tried to avoid Facebook and the Twitter page, you know, I post and I get the fuck out of there You know, like I said this morning, I seen the Suzanne Summers thing and at least broke the you know I laughed I giggled I giggled at the fucking, you know, whatever But then there's the reality of things, you know numbers are going back up You know, whatever's going on in South Beach with people jumping up and down. I mean, but what do you expect?

What do fucking people expect? You've had us in a cage for a year You've fucking fucked to this about unemployment. You fucked to this about race. You fucked to this I mean, you know telling us numbers that just don't make sense telling us things that don't make fucking sense I'm sitting here the other night with my fucking wife and she's watching New Jersey 12 for the fucking weather And I swear to God we tried to catch it like because it starts every half hour on the hour So you could try to catch the end but for some reason we let it run into the 10 o'clock fucking hour We were doing something. I was at my desk and we were downstairs in the basement and the guy goes Fucking there's a new variant in Brooklyn. You know, it's all around Brooklyn, but

We're opening up restaurants 75% in New York. So yeah People are walking around like what do I believe and what don't I believe? Mental health guys is that an all-time fucking high all-time fucking high We could turn our backs on it and we can make believe you know Half of you instead of watching this fucking podcast or listen to the podcast I have feeling have our feeling things that you've never felt before I Am I am I can't you if you listen if you want me to sit here and tell you fucking that my world is fucking Tremendous, I'll lie to you and tell you that my wife is healthy. I'm healthy

My daughter is healthy. They're back in school. I love what I'm doing down here But I got to be honest with you The days are long Your mind seems to go into different places because the day is so long and You're not doing what you used used to be doing in living I mean my life is a little better than what it was than when I got here. You could see it in my face I'm happier. I'm healthier. You know everything around that is working, but for most Americans It's not a fucking party right now. It's not a fucking party

We're learning how to zoom we're learning how to work at home We're learning how to deal with our kids not being in school. We're learning how to we're learning so many fucking different things That it's all the fucking well-being right now, you know, the Well, what vaccine do I take? I mean, we're all trying to do the right thing We're all trying to do the right thing. We're all trying to fucking to decide what vaccine to take but every two days That's tech. That's tech. It's gonna give you blood clots. This one is giving you this. This one is giving you that Why can't we just focus on one fucking thing? But every day is a fucking different so Americans. Yes, we are having a hard time

Australia's a lockdown, you know, the UK is having their fucking bombs The world is in a weird fucking spot, but never In 2000 fucking listen, there's things that have blown my mind completely I never ever ever thought I would ever get in the movie boy. Was I wrong? I never ever ever thought I was gonna get married again. Boy. Was I wrong? I never ever wanted another child of the pain that comes with Losing a child like I did, you know, I never thought that would happen, but never in my fucking life

That I think that somebody would go into a supermarket and boulder the land of sandals People have Birkenstocks. They don't even want to fucking run if there's a shooter Never in my life What I think that somebody would take 10 lives and bold on a Monday Fucking afternoon in March never never I saw one guy. This is when I turned off the tv last night and started practicing the guitar They interviewed one guy. He was on a street corner and he goes he was crying He was a 30 year old man crying saying

That he thought He was in the safest place in the world That he never thought he would lose his life over getting a fucking soda I mean and This is the same way. I feel listen crime went up 61% now. Like you're gonna hear about shootings there, you know Minneapolis is just waiting to blow You know, st. Louis is a is a racial hotbed right now

You know, Miami. I mean we have all these spots I expect that, you know Texas is the land of guns. I love Texas. I you know, it's the land of guns Colorado's the land of guns to have and make my day law Which I love myself. I live by until this day if I see your leg come through my window I just sit there with a gun and aim up and shoot at you, you know I mean, I love all these laws and stuff like that, but I don't like people taking 10 fucking lives

Of people were just shopping. There were people getting covid test People online getting a fucking covid test waiting to get a fucking covid test So I hate it to come at this gloom with you, but it's there I have to address this elephant in the room and tell you how I feel about it Because it did hit me fucking hard, you know, listen, man When that fucking kid got shot The lady gaga kid. I don't know him I have no I I don't know him. I've never met him. I've never met lady gaga

I've never met lady gaga's dogs, you know, it's not like I know these people But dawg, I didn't feel good that week. Why I walked those streets I used to walk those streets in Boulder With josh wolf and Ralphie and Doug Stanhope and Mitch Sure, it's gonna affect me that could that could have been only one of us I mean god, no none of us lived in on more Ralphie's dead Mitch's dead Duggers and fucking, uh, you know, Arizona. I'm here. It doesn't matter It has to affect me in a certain way. I lived there. I walked those streets. Those were my neighbors

You know, that was my 7-Eleven. That was my liquor store. That was my gym there That was where Justin Fortune's gym was with Nakafoli and all my friends there. Sure. I'm gonna react a certain way, but this You know this and la they're shooting people for a fucking watch in Beverly Hills. I understand But boulder the home of the ropa institute half the people there are buddhist Half the people there are fucking and I hate to say this because they just had a tragedy, but they're like fake hippies But it's a land of love. It's like it really is that they're they're trust-run hippies They got beards and and things and they don't cut their fingernails and they

They wear dirty clothes, but then you see them hide their outie. They're 80 thousand dollar outie You're like, how the fuck are you a hippie and they hate corporate american? They hate all this shit They're just rich kids that are confused, but still not confused enough to shoot 10 people at a fucking supermarket. They're just you know, little fucking hippie kids, man. It just uh Sucks the fucking energy out of me I mean, I I even thought about calling my ex-wife and checking in just because And I know that they don't live in south bolder. They're not even close to it, but brother this

This is no bueno for a guy like me. This is uh Like I said, I called my friend my man mike robuck I called manny and the last guy called after the guitar lessons was george george was working And we spoke last night about it like how What the fuck is going on, you know But hey, it's life today It's why I come on here once a week to break up them twice a week To break up the fucking monotony and just talk to you about life and the stupid things we fucking encounter, you know

But this is what's going on today guys, and I hope that if you're feeling If you're feeling weird on any way reach out Reach out to somebody. I'm sick of telling you people this You don't have to feel this way. You don't deserve to feel this way This you know, you have friends I don't care if you have to you know now you I love to tell you You have friends you go to the supermarket, but you can't even do that anymore I mean, you don't know what is going to pop off

What areas going to pop off and that's what's got me all fucked up, you know Like I said, I hate to bring this up during a podcast today and whatnot, especially after the great time We have with greg fit Simmons. I'm happy you people enjoyed that you could actually see You know, I watched 10 or 15 minutes of that podcast and uh I'm happy you're enjoying these things and whatnot and they help you But I'm also looking at me and these things Every day, you know, Mike posted an old clip from the church

And he posted a clip from whatever and I look at both clips And I see the change I don't I I'm not talking about the losing the weight I'm not talking about the bags around my eyes. I'm not talking about my hair getting grayer I'm not talking about that stuff. I can actually see The interchange that I the weight that fell off my fucking shoulders I could feel all the I was in a toxic environment and I didn't fucking even know it And I wasn't in a like

Like it wasn't a toxic environment in my marriage It wasn't a toxic environment in my friends. It wasn't a toxic environment And what I was doing it was just a whole big picture of comedy Of what was going on and the fucking deals that were getting cut and what comics were worried about and what I was worried about And what I I should have been doing in the first place, you know When I moved I I didn't know it was gonna happen. I didn't know I was going I wasn't at this deep I didn't find out till I landed here How bad my head was in the shape I was in emotionally and mentally and uh

This has just worked out for me 150 fucking percent, you know, and I'm here To add levity to your lives, you know, I try to be funny on some episodes Some episodes I come here and we just talk, you know, that's all we could do And maybe just this hour will be something that you've been thinking about that I touch on and yes you know, it's uh It's just a scary time for us Now I got to tell you about the second batch of bad news I got yesterday So I went off the fucking pain pills. I threw away the fucking oxycodons

They hit me with vicarins I didn't touch the vicarins for two days I started getting a little pain on that wednesday And then I took like vicarins for two days and that was it. I fought off the pain I gotta tell you something guys last week For some reason like one of the days mic was here. I had unusual pain Did I take a pain pill? No, I took some of the leaves and I rub cbd line on my leg and fucking

You know, I put ice on my leg. I got a fucking, you know, the other thing I've been using towards this is a company that Nate uh Nate ellenberger is part of like a voltage He sent me the gun two years ago when he did the podcast He sent me a knee brace that heats up and vibrates You know, I've been doing that for the pain. I did everything I could But I knew that something wasn't right with my knee

When I would take a shower I take two showers a day when I take a shower I dry off because fuck the other dad took off my knee braces and I smelled them Oh I didn't know my knees stunk that fucking bad because it's so fucking dry here That the skin my skin comes off when I pull So if I'm gonna do like a something like if I'm gonna have like a long day of walking around I actually put knee braces on my right leg and my left leg I got the advice from tom segura. Thank god and the doctor told me

I had to do the same. So whenever I take off my fucking Knee braces I bought two pair I don't know. I smell them. Just, you know, I don't know the same way I smell my underwear I don't fucking know, you know, you got to smell your odors to know that you're a fucking disgusting animal So I smell my fucking knee brace and they smell bad. So what I do is I rub cream I rub uh, I get like a healthy cream and I rub it on and then I have cbd line I rub a 1000 milligrams On both knees and I let it air dry

The part of my underwear and whatnot. So whenever I rub last week when I was rubbing my knee I saw that there was a little bruising Mike you're gonna shit when I tell you I saw that there was a little bruising So what did I do last week? I called the doctor last week because when I wake up in the morning I feel that my leg isn't like a little baby L like it just feels a little crooked when I wake up in the morning. It's tight Uh-huh When I get up, I walk around a little bit. I make my coffee and then I come down and I throw ice on it And my first 15 minutes where I clean my head out

I just open the back door. I look out if it's sunny out I go outside and I put the ice on my leg and I just clear out my mind to you know To see what I'm gonna do for the day and then once the 20 minutes of the ice I get my notebook and I journal and I fucking go into it So I called the fucking the one day it was just getting worse in the mornings. I'm like what the fuck is this that my leg I mean if straightens out remember I told you last week I went to pt They fucking straightened it. They twist it. They found no problems with it

But there was a little pain and when I came home again, no pain pills leave and fucking The bullshit so I asked my doctor last week two days in a row for a drug that I cannot pronounce Corticosm. It's a muscle relaxer. It's like uh If anybody knows the name of it correct me like I said, I'm not a pharmacist I'm not here to tell you the correct names of shit It's a pill they gave me in the beginning in the hospital and I asked him and he goes Make sure you take this along with the pain medication. It's not a pain medication. You're not gonna get high But it's like a muscle relaxer. It'll loosen up your area and blah blah blah

So I kept calling them last week because I ran out of it and I thought that's what it was So I called them. I called them. I called them nothing. This motherfucker doesn't send me the prescription He sends me an appointment. He goes come back and see me monday So I go to fucking doctor monday. They do all these x-rays They clear me But then the assistant knocked on the fucking door and she comes in she goes. I want you to look at something Does your leg hurt here here and they started poking at my leg and he poked somewhere and I'm like, ah And he goes, okay

They looked at the x-rays And then they said you might have tore something Can we do another x-ray to see so I went back in the fucking room And they fucking did another x-ray from a different angle and the guy goes listen This is what happened. Your knee is fine Your knee is a hundred percent Knock on wood you did all the right things But somewhere along the line

You ripped like a small tendon in there That contributes to that pain to that leg Being fucking uh, whatever so Tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. It's just a two hour procedure It's like putting a camera up your ass that same colonoscopy If they use that same anesthesia, it's not gonna be I'll listen. I'll be home by fucking 10 10 30 11 o'clock. It's just a little slit just

They're gonna zip it up And they're gonna send me home. I don't need any opiates afterward But I won't be able to fucking stand for more than like 10 minutes 15 minutes at a time For maybe two or three weeks. That's what's been hurting me on the side So because of that I'm pushing the uncle Vinnie shows I am fucking Sorry about this. This is out of my control Last week they were closed because somebody

Went in there with fucking COVID and they were scared. So Vinnie wanted a dino the owner Who's a great guy wanted to protect everybody. So We closed it last week This week we got more bad news my fucking knee So I'll be out of commission for a few weeks. We're still gonna be doing the podcast But it's just sometime It's the tea something, you know years ago I don't know if you guys know of a guy named mark denafio

Mark denafio was a great football player. He's a lot little he's 10 years younger than me But I grew up with his older brother mark was a great football player got drafted by green bay Started as a linebacker got a signing bonus big deal the whole fucking thing And he ripped Not your groin muscle But a certain muscle in his groin area. This is the fucking weirdest thing And I this is what it made me think of he ripped this muscle That only water skiers could rip

Only people who water ski rip this muscle. It's like a little tiny fucking muscle That no it's like uh-uh the fucking chances of you ripping this muscle are like a thousand the fucking one Mark denafio ripped the fucking muscle a year off. It was that much of that You had to go deep in there Mended and then it was he had to learn how to walk again the whole fucking thing and guess what happened He went to fucking play the next season and he ripped the exact same muscle on the other fucking side People have deficiencies who the fuck knows You know, I'm not a muscle terror

I tore my hamstring last year when I slipped at the comedy store And now this fucking thing. So what we're gonna do is this We're gonna push back the shows for a few weeks see how the leg feels and uh I'm also gonna get vaccinated in the meantime Yes, I'm probably gonna take a johnson and johnson because I'm a pussy But you gotta give me credit to the least I'm trying

And then we will go out a hundred percent. I think I'll feel a little better and going back to vinnies doing a little uh What do you call that what I was doing before every wednesday just working out just every fucking week Just working out. I think it's time and that said I'll just keep it simple But I'm very sorry if you had plans this week and next week and if you had plans last week It's fucking coveted and you know This is why I tell people I'm living my life day to fucking day. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow You know, I'm out of fucking fortune balls. Whatever the fuck they call what fortune cookies

No, not fortune cookies magic e-balls. No, just the regular fucking balls that you know tell you the future I'm out of them And I don't know nobody who's working on there is either so It's a day-to-day thing this life. That's why when people call me down like hey Can you bro? It's a day-to-day fucking thing. Who the fuck knows, you know, I call you to set something up in there I've had so many fucking things fall apart lately You know because of stupid things not just and I don't get mad at them guys You cannot get mad at people for getting coveted. You can't get mad at a school because a student

You know, I stopped getting mad Let's get through this let now there's a variant Let's get through the fucking variant and we can move forward like fucking normal people But until this happens, I don't know what to tell you You know, I see all these schedules I see all these people with big plans fucking, you know arenas and opening back up Tours again in an ounce, but you're telling me on one hand all this shit's happening But on the other hand you're telling me we're only going to be a 50% of these fucking big arenas this summer

So I don't know if these bands are going to fly out. I know for a fact Somebody told me that that death leopard motley group thing is on Oh, really? Yeah, it's on in florida april This is what I heard. I do not know do not quote me. I'm not a fucking concert promoter I'm just letting you know that nobody knows nothing. Nobody knows nothing It's a day-to-day fucking world right now. This is what you gotta live with Um, I'm sorry if you had plans, you know, I had plans too

If you think I'm excited About fucking going in there tomorrow and going through this shit again You're fucking wrong. You know, I talked to Patrick from the stand we were talking he was talking about a situation where He had a friend that did the surgery and they had to go back a year later Because your knee gets infected. I don't know. I've tried to avoid everything. I can't I've tried to work out I've tried to eat clean. I'm drinking water like a motherfucker. I'm taking my fucking supplements I'm cutting down on a weed 50% as hard as that seems you could tell look at my eyeballs

They're fucking clean guys. I'm I'm I'm trying my fucking artist here Because I knew that if I kept with the edibles and the fucking band-aids I wasn't gonna make any progress and that wasn't gonna help you guys And that's not gonna help me guy. I want you to Listen to my words on what I'm telling you right now clear your head If you feel that your mind is controlling you Or taking you into a different place Do a restart get to that notebook get that notebook out

Get a restart talk to somebody call people that you love call people that you trust Do a zoom I can't tell you listen. I fucking hate zoom More than I hate hummus. You understand me I hate zoom. All right. All right. I'm lying I'm sorry, Mike I'm sorry Fucking

I hate zoom, but I'll tell you what I fall in love with zoom because I get to see my friends again Yes, so it has been it had that has brought a fucking smile to my face, you know so all these things have Changed this but in a way for the better like we've all changed We've had to make adjustments Some of us have made them, you know, I if you thought I wanted to end the church. I never wanted to end the church, but I had no choice. It was time to move forward. There was so many little things

That it was time to regroup and move the fuck forward. We've all had to go through things. So Listen, man, right, you know, I say that the end of my Draft Kings read and I fucking mean it If you have a gaming problem Call 1-800 get help. It sounds like a joke And I make it a joke just to alleviate it, but I'm not If you guys in your heart feel That you need to talk to somebody

Pick up that call There's no stigma attached Dog I've had a call a thousand people To get to the root of my fucking problem. I didn't know what it was, but I knew by rapping I could fucking figure this out. I had to get to the root of this I wanted to know why I was feeling the way I was. What was making me take anxiety pills? What was making me fucking eat a thousand milligrams of thc by fucking lunchtime? What was making me do all these things? What was making me take fucking

You know a thousand those pills to fall asleep at night. I had knocked myself out. I'm not like most people I want to know the answers I looked so I look within you have to look within You have to blame yourself look within and go. What the fuck am I doing to myself? Why is this happening? You know, I've been getting emails from people Joey Almond couple guys. I'm quitting smoking pot I do not blame you I do not blame you. I want you to get in touch with yourself I want you to get in touch with your true feelings. I'm getting emails from people that they quit and booze

I'm not blaming you Give it a chance Get to know the real you Just for one week get to know the real you For me, listen, I smoke in the morning for appetite, but for obstruction purposes. I'm not smoking. I'm working out. I'm going on walks I'm working on the guitar. I talk on the phone with Erica. We're putting the book together. Thank god the fucking Proposal is ready These are all little achievements that a little achievements, but they're big to me

And they make me go one more day Do things that i'm gonna make you go one more day What could make me go one more day if it's talking to this person on the phone? I don't care if you pull up to the house and talk to them social distance 10 feet away The weather is warming up now. You could do that, but there's no reason that you should be feeling What you should be feeling I am not the type of guy that would ever tell you To go see a therapist, but after this year from what I've seen And what i've heard in people's voices and what i've read on the internet and the messages i'm getting from you

I'll tell you I see these things online these uh zoom Psychiatrists that you could talk to Guys that's an option If you think i'm in the city and call you a fucking momo because you talk to somebody to get help I might goof on you a little bit, but i'm not meaning that from my heart I want you to feel the best that you could feel You have to feel the best that you could feel right now I'm doing everything I can in my power to to

Loosen up that I mean my house is great knock on wood Listen, I love my wife more than I've ever loved her. Thank god because some people aren't that lucky I looked at her and I knew that We could either go to fucking blows Or we could work together and and and make this house the best that it can be I'm not talking about my big screen TVs. I'm not talking about my furniture or swimming pools or a butler That's not what i'm talking about I'm talking about the inside. This is what I said in the beginning of this thing

This is going to give you everybody a chance to take you You have to act Proper on the outside, but most importantly the same way you act inside your home Inside your home has to be fucking tipped off magoo Or everything else's background fucking music. I always work. I grew up in a house. That was shit So I know what it is to feel shitty because your house is shitty your mom's shitty Your dad and your mom don't talk, you know, all that I went through all that

We've never gotten into those conversations yet because We never had to but in the book I've been writing and I've been thinking about it That's why I knew what family I wanted You know, my mother dine gave me a chance to live with different families And see different families and different family dynamics I knew what I wanted my family to be happy. I didn't want a house that There was anger. I don't want my daughter growing up around that at all I didn't want a house where my daughter grows up

And sees the mother and father fighting all the time over stupid shit. I don't want that type of house That's not what I want. I want a loving home And I want to feel that and extend that to you guys So please if you're feeling something that you Feel awkward, you know, I mean listen those uh Therapy things like 35 bucks. I've seen them really fucking cheap, you know online I think it's time for some people to actually talk to people and secure too. It's through telehealth not zoom It's like a totally different thing guys. I'm telling you, you know, uh

People going through things. There's no stigma I read these emails. I I'm not a therapist. I try to give you love and push you in the right direction, but It's time to take care of ourselves. It really is. I'm not talking about Jumping jacks and whatever I'm talking about your mind Because mental health is on an all-time fucking rise. So if it's listening to me if it's Me emailing back and forth with you if there's anything I could do to help, you know

I'm here to talk, you know, I answer emails on facebook I answer twitter emails If you think you want a little bit more personalized and you want to join patreon We're covered there, but uh I just want you to really take care of yourselves this time of the year right now Don't think the party's over. Don't think that this is it. We're done. It's spring. Let's go out and fucking jump up and down Not don't get too fucking excited yet. We're not out of the fucking weeds yet. Let's let this summer pass by

Let's keep an eye on the fucking prize Let's see what goes on this summer and then you could start doing whatever you want. You know me I'm covered. I'm gonna be here every monday and wednesday Now I got no choice now with my leg down. I'm gonna fucking be down So i'm gonna work harder on this. I'm gonna try to get some great guests for you guys I've been reaching out to people, you know, I like to To zoom fucking experience for you guys. I like the balance We're giving you a hybrid podcast right now. This is what it is

You got a guest you get me one day if you don't like me Jerry go fuck yourself. We're only gonna listen on monday. That's fine too. You know me my feelings have been hurt You can't that sticks and stones will break my bones words will never help her Hurt me at this point in the fucking game. So Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I'm throwing you a hybrid podcast And we're gonna keep growing right before your eyes A lot of the scottagapodcast is up to episode three on patreon It is what it is

My spanish is good this week. We spoke about bugarrones Which is those guys that uh That mess with gay guys They let gay guys suck their dick and they fuck gay guys in the ass But they don't suck dick and they don't get fucked in the ass It's just a certain thing that happened. Yeah, it's a Cuban thing that goes back to the prisons I don't get involved and I know nothing about it I just talked about it on the fucking another scottagap cause we were listening to music

And I was telling stories about san francisco in 85 and whatnot But i'm here for you guys and uh I know what I went through and it wasn't fun and I was open about it with you guys as much as I could I hope you guys are as open with somebody take one thing from me Listen, I'm just a loser fucking dirty comic. I'm not a celebrity. I'm not a movie star I'm not anything but I will tell you one thing I used my friends For what?

They're there for To talk you have friends you have family Don't be shy. Don't worry Talk to them Let them know what you're feeling Let them know what you're going through We're here for you, man. We're here for one another

Especially these tough times and you as a human being like I told you it's not about money. It's not about fame It's not about being cool. It's about making somebody's fucking day Taking two minutes away from somebody Maybe a smile, you know what a smile could do for somebody Just a simple fucking smile just like how the fuck are you doing? Just a smile to help somebody That's that's the hand we're playing right now We're taking care of ourselves

And we're making somebody's day beyond that. I don't know what else to tell you Thank you for watching today Thank you for following. I hope you enjoyed the great fit Simmons one I did I laughed my balls off? uh The fucking story about my daughter With the fucking archie bunk with the chink is true. I'm sorry if I offended anybody I didn't mean to offend anybody that was the humor back in the 70s

And that's just the way it goes but listen guys. I love you guys. Uh, I do not have covid If you're uh, if you hear that rumor, I do not have covid And i'm just getting this thing done to my leg tomorrow morning and uh, we're gonna move forward Thank you very much for listening. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting And now for a word from my mother fucking sponsored by the way Boulder god bless you Thank you There was a reason why I never went back to bold and that's because

I acted like a shit and I always felt guilty last time I was in boulder was in 98 when uh, my wife didn't show up with my daughter and just I got to walk around boulder and uh See what I had done and even all my trips to denver I never went back to boulder because I was ashamed of what I did So I just want to tell the residents of boulder

The universe of boulder and the mountains of boulder. I'm very sorry for my behavior And that someday when I feel that I've gone through my uh My probationary period of not being allowed back in boulder. I will go back and uh Say i'm sorry to the mountains personally. I love you boulder colorado. I'm very sorry you went through this for everybody else have a great weekend And I'll see you Monday the 29th Fucking uh east of week whatever the fuck it is next week. So it's a good week for catholics

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