Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 05/06/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #77

Episode Date: May 7, 2013

Comedian and film buff Rick Ramos calls in. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at checkout for a discount. Streamed live on 05/06/2013

oh shit oh shit it's that fucking day today is the fucking day Monday May 6 single a mile to suck my dick that was yesterday today's a whole different day take the tequila take the sweet and sour out and drink it straight pour it on your fucking cock it's gonna be that type of Monday the church or what's happening now motherfucker Lisa Yacht in the house kick at least let them get this shit in their veins oh shit how many more times are you gonna get kicked in the ass by that fucking boss how many more times is a chick of the fucking line here before you stab her in

the fucking forehead how many more fucking times have to kick in the ass before you take what belongs to you and tell all these motherfuckers they could suck your big black cock the beautiful day to be alive I'm definitely gonna get done of my whole shit please there's a black family that lives with me the get up to your black fucks jumping jacks with the afro zone what's up baby now much man how's Austin beautiful fucking Iron Man over here what the fucking heart I saw Iron Man with friends they wanted to see Iron Man I went to see Iron Man it was fun yeah relax your fucking reefer I already

smoke he's my shirt in the end little red shirt anything that's fun you gotta what you go to the fucking movies what you have dinner what no no he was in movies with two chicks instead of one like he was supposed to it's hard enough for him with the one he has to go with her friend to instead of saying no who's this fucking chick get the fuck out of here I'm trying to sling some dick you follow me that's all I'm trying to do I might tell him I'm making out of the movies again sure that's where it starts and the fucking you know you go to a movie to see that shit yeah fucking 24 years old you really are the Iron Man

flying around get it together it was a good movie you can't get mad about everything movie Jesus Christ no what I got toughening you up over you like ice cream fuck you I love ice you don't need ice cream you eat a lot of I can really tell you I love ice cream I just say you're supposed to be banging this chick a month ago and you're still going to movies with her in the girl that's all I'm trying to say an Iron Man you gotta take it as something romantic if you want to finger bang on the movie theater she's a boyfriend right now I can't do that there's one thing this might deal with people every fucking day

of my life I got sons I got soldiers this fucking good over here whatever the fuck he is you just make up for it but I'm proud of you you fucking swan that's like I did I was like a Jewish MOOC I go look that's like a Jew MOOC yeah I did it's actually cuz you were in Austin and you were on the on it podcast and you brought me up you didn't say my name but you just said like I have a pool in the gym I do and we were talking last week and he said you did he swim and I said no and it's it's it's not because of my joints or anything it's honestly I hate using the term lazy cuz I work hard at other things but I've always hated

working out so it's a kind of laziness and I like I was sitting here watching I was like I should go swim and I was like a hundred degrees I was hot this fucking hot it's hot out there the water is nice to jump in it's kind of nice and I did a I did six laps but I would do a length and I have to take a break yeah I haven't swam for fucking ten years but I know how to swim because I've taken swimming lessons I know I don't know I just want to use a run across oh no I don't fucking run across that's a fucking nightmare to that really fuck well it's a deep end and I'm fucking five foot four so I have halfway through I

sink so I had to swim but no I didn't it was actually it was a it was a good time and I I couldn't do it yesterday because it was a little too cold but I'm I'm gonna keep doing it because it was a it was fun get some sun you'll be a little dark-skinned you oh shit you know from the northern hills of Jerusalem so you know nothing wrong with that and people understand like swimming is the easiest fucking thing like if you put a belt on I'll get you about you go to sports a Laurel Canyon yeah and more park you buy a swimming belt oh like for weights no no keeps you afloat so you can float and you ride your bike like in

your mind he's pushing your bike okay in the deep end 15 fucking minutes you have no pain it's not like listen this is the misnomer that they have with fat guys that we go to a gym and all they got is jumping on a box doing px 90 you know that's great at fucking first but you all those guys at the px they didn't start them they didn't show them in the fucking beginning they show them fat in the fucking picture yeah they didn't show them jumping up and fucking down the beginning like that no they fucking didn't okay because any fucking fat guy without warming up properly is gonna get fucking hurt yeah and then you know

px 90s you gonna go to not too many fucking px 90s it's like px 3 3 fucking px and you're fucking done so all I'm trying to do is look out for a motherfucker because I know I started out that fucking pool when I was 415 pounds they put me on a treadmill and the guy goes who doesn't put you on a treadmill it's fucking retarded because you're gonna hurt your feet your joints are gonna hurt unless you do it to supplement what you're doing like a day or two and then you swim three days or something yeah I don't want you so I don't want you thinking about it I want it to be fun and by it being fun what happens is you

go in the pool right you go in the pool you go in the pool you're going to fucking pool you get sucked you're going to fucking pool and one day there's a fat chick or a hot chick in the pool or this kid in the pool and you can't get out of the pool the usual way so you get out the other way and you have to walk past the fucking gym and you say to yourself while I'm out here I might as well go and then do a bench press because that's how it starts and you do a couple curls then one night you take a shower you wash your little fucking pushing as you're putting powder in your fucking face on your balls you see a

vein in your arm yeah you go you know what the 20 minutes of swimming I'm doing and the 10 minutes I'm doing the gym it's making a fucking difference I got a vein in there I'm gonna go online and read about this and get involved in it and next thing you know that's how to start a way and now you have no pain you're doing it because you want to do it yeah like we always say little commitments become big commitments listen bro nobody wants you run tell me you receive me fucking running around with a bicycle helmet on in the heat fuck you but I'll jump in a pool and walk for 30 minutes or run and you know

what who gives a fuck if you're not mr. Olympia at least you're doing something yeah nobody's gonna be jackal mine bro but it's a lot better than sitting there watching the Celtics get beat for the 80s anything's better than that and I thought of you because there's a bunch of kids in this complex and I went like Saturday afternoon at like 3 30 and I actually I even looked out my windows like if there's a thousand kids in there I'm not gonna go and there is no one no one if I had a pool in my yard when I was a kid nobody ever thinks of swimming their own pool yeah there was gonna some of these barbecue or whatever but I

guarantee once it's supposed to kick in here like 2000 fucking degrees okay so let's see what happened that's how it starts Lee and you know whatever people I know people know that when my heart is when I say you jumping that fucking pool because that's the easiest way to quit the solution that you're juicing you on the day stay sex I can be not making videos I can know I'm starting them my name is Lee I haven't eaten in four three fucking day last week as always as fucking Christ but I was having another hard to look at those did you still have my archive yeah look at the third one for the third oh

yeah you want to fucking shoot yourself hi my name is Lee you were bummed out you were from the shooter from the side holy shit I was like this motherfucker's gonna find a man and with the juicer under him you know I'm saying but everything's all right you got the carrots you got the ginger yeah I have to go I have to go take a shit yeah I had popcorn last night no I didn't call right now but uh don't lie to me I was I didn't eat shit you ate something I can't eat shit what are you talking about but I was having a tough night last night I wanted to talk to you about it because you you talk about coke but we haven't

really ever talked about it well then about it look at the or the weight loss or anything you've been through you we talk about how like you've done it but like last night I was kind of feeling like I don't really want to do this like you you've you tried to quit coke and you tried to lose weight more times before you finally did it so like can you like I was it I was thinking or quick that when I started with the diet both either of them but just like like you always go through it and like you start and you stop you start and you stop and you don't want to do it like we you know you haven't really talked about that

before and I'm sure well when I look I stopped coke when I stopped something I stopped something when I put it in my head so you never tried to quit over those 30 years yeah I tried to quit maybe early on like 88 I came before comedy yeah and then I came to the conclusion was part of who I was the addiction made me lie to myself that who is who I was and then once I got to LA I thought about quitting but people said once you quit you won't be funny no more so that scared the shit out of me it wasn't that I was doing on stage it was that I was I'm the type of person that I don't want to disappoint myself and we

always do yeah disappoint ourselves so I don't really want I didn't want to be one of those people that went into 18 rehabs that's fucking embarrassing yeah that's fucking embarrassing okay after two or three you got to make a fucking decision and be honest with yourself yeah you stop wasting fucking people's time and giving people full fucking hope why are you doing that you know you're gonna keep snorting why are you lying to people and you know as they're talking to you you know that's why I tell people people how do you know second you see a USC fighter he's like yeah I'm gonna go in there I'm in the best fight condition

he goes in there you don't throw a fucking punch you just talk you just lying to your fucking self you ensure yourself and that's who half these people are I didn't want I didn't want well that's that because I was thinking about it because you just said like you can't and you kind of have to do it for yourself because honestly when I feel like honestly like and it's just now okay I was never doing it for myself before because like I grew up and I've always been happy or happy-ish but like I never really had that much self-confidence and it's kind of I was at a party last night a few nights ago and someone said

to me like you seem very confident and no one's ever ever said that to me ever in my life and like I finally feel like things are kind of trying to change and like even when I first tried to lose weight I was doing it because like oh girls like skinnier guys but that's not even really for me so like it's kind of weird that you kind of have to do it for you like you have to actually do it because you want to do it and it's but it was like it was tough last night and I had to rewatch the movie last night that I got the juicing from to like get motivated but it's weird it's like everybody does shit when you go in a

positive direction we all have to do shit that we don't want to do you know why it takes us out of our comfort zone yeah our comfort zone is the most important thing to us you know since for 20 years I'd love to be pushed out of my comfort zone because it inspires you yeah when I push out of your comfort zone it's gonna make you know my kid right now my little daughter yeah I sit her up you know and she falls and my wife picks her back up when she falls I give her a couple minutes to try to figure out what the fuck just happened and the other dad was watching how she pulled the leg over she pulled the other

leg over and she spun and she was pissed and she cried but she did it yeah so by me pushing and she's fucking rolling more now off the boom position you follow me yeah she falls to the right hand side she falls to the left she knows now to kick her leg over we excel when we were taking out of our fucking comfort zone and if I can't I have to personally take myself out of my comfort zone you know how I start the day by going out of my comfort zone but I ain't inedible that's quite a way to know why you're not gonna believe this boy I'm the type of guy that I always want to be in control that's why I don't drink I don't drink

because I'm on anti a a or anti whatever in 1983 I saw my friend get his ear bit off by Danny B they went I call say Danny B wins yeah and ever since that night I couldn't help him and I felt so bad for being drunk that it fucked with me and that's how it fucked with me okay I always want to have one leg going when I'm giggling at that joke when we were giggling that day at the fucking at the when you cracked me the fuck up at the at the coffee shop that day oh it's really laughing I lost fucking control I don't like it right got up and left yeah I don't like not losing so when I use an edible it's to

make me lose control to push me on that thing because I know great things are gonna happen listen man for me it's an edible for somebody else it might be something else yeah but you have to push yourself out of the comfort zone on a daily basis for you to get anywhere in this fucking life you think I like coffee and puffin thinking I'm gonna fucking die with two pair underwear on the fucking gym yeah fuck no but I know that there's an earthquake how can I save my family not by walking you got to grab those two bitches and start fucking running so you know it's it's on the couch nothing good happens and I

know we all lazy we all have a great time I love putting my feet up and watching a fucking old movie too but in the middle of that movie I know I got to be doing something even if I get up for 10 minutes and do it it's done when I fucking work out in the daytime my day is done I know that I made myself do something I'm not getting paid for nothing but I know that the payment is me living an extra day or if I go to a hospital my blood pressure not being high that day that's the payment so please every day take yourself out of your comfort zone a little fucking way every fucking day I you know when I go on the

road I can't sleep but by not sleeping it makes me write a fucking joke so I wrote three new fucking jokes this week already yeah so go out of your fucking cup by the way I had a great time in Austin Texas this weekend I came home a little sick oh yeah a little cold but let me tell you know what makes Austin the people oh really you told me it was the pact and then we'll say hi but the people of Austin have always made a difference because they're free spirits you don't move to Austin because you just move to fucking Austin and around it the place is a little uptight they'll arrest you for weed they'll throw you in fucking

jail and put you under the fucking jail throw away the key but Austin has a certain perception of people the people that lived there are very laid back they're very anti organization anti not anti Texas but anti rules and they want to make their own little fucking thing that's like Boulder it's like Asheville North Carolina it's like so many little artists slash communities you know and the people and listen the people show up with 22 fucking pounds of weed we smoked 82 fucking joints every night outside the fucking showroom you know people shut up with edibles they had cheap cheaper bars oh sure that

chocolate bar some guy gave me a chocolate bar Friday night had the best out of my fucking life Friday night I was so fucking high it was amazing I will try to go to Austin from now on two or three times a year because I forgot how happy my life was when I was going through Texas yeah and all you it was a fucking salad I had a I had barbecue one night oh you did have it okay cuz I was in the picture the list the bartender's brought I went to Papa Dose yeah Papa Dose is a restaurant that I cannot even describe to you I've been eating Papa Dose since Houston in 1998 mm-hmm and I went I already ate all the

fried shit I already had the oysters I've already had everything they've had to offer on the killer fat man menu okay they have a fucking sensational if you really want to just eat fish I had to halibut with dirty rice one day I can't even describe it to you with the lemon on top of the fuck and I got this big tomato salad with a couple boot cheese crumbles but for the only other every other time I went in there went in there all three days and I really fuck yeah and I had the same thing at the seafood gumbo with the sausage a fucking cup I didn't eat the bread to watch my weight I didn't have to bread and butter

because the bread and butter is fucking delicious and they got a banana pudding that the cum will come out of your asshole and drips with little chunks of banana in there and I didn't have that but I because I've eaten there for 20 fucking years is what I'm telling you so I know that you get you could be huge listen I can go to Papa does and have an appetizer bread they have the lobster the lobster soup okay to have that cream lobster with the brot lobster bis so I would open up with the lobster bis that I would get something fried with french fries you know the fried filet basket with french fries with a mixed

grill and then I would get the cheesecake and then close up with a double espresso or real fucking cane sugar oh no no no I could eat fucking 200 points but you gotta figure out how to go to Papa does and how to make it work for you so I have a little cup of the end you only fucking sausage with the gumbo shrimp which is delicious my assholes on fire right now and then I would have the seafood chop salad which is little these tremendous prawns with some crab meat with some lettuce with some cucumbers with some tomato a couple avocados yeah I still look good some fucking Texas bacon smoked apple wood

fucking bacon are you kidding me or what and I got a half order on the bacon like I said cut it in half so you don't get the full bacon cut the avocado in half a little blue cheese dressing in that motherfucking I mix it up boom boom pull it I want to be around Tony Bennett's Monday the fucking May the 6th get your shit together motherfuckers get out of your comfort zone today and go rock your own motherfucking world huh look at these fucking bazooka joints I got today we're gonna smoke on these there's like eight of them here you don't smoke them you're gonna smoke on weed and iron man last

no I'll smoke your weed that's your weed that's our weed I don't want to fucking mobile there's a hundred and one thousand hits on this you Tony Bennett video fifty thousand of them have to be us listen to this listen to that are you fucking kidding me you're gonna come in on Wednesday and say what the fuck the all the weeds gone check the fuck let me put this upbeat on your ass

oh speak we were talking about the party in it we got drunk so we were talking about that and people like oh I never like I don't like when people like my ass and you're never there when people are on my side for the looking the ass thing so I gotta start recording it because more people are on my side than I know what type you went to party with a bunch of fucking fruitcakes anyway who was at the party Ashley and her brother and all those people yeah yeah okay some fucking guy that goes to Red Lobster waits 45 minutes for his gay friend to fucking show up that's the people you ask if they want that time please I know

the source are the women hot in Austin bro Texas is what pussy was invented really I've never been that's why you were an iron man jumping up and down with with two girls did you invite me to Austin no you could have said Joey I'm coming to Austin with you yeah that's all you had to say your family you're fine I'm coming to Phoenix or whatever you ain't coming no I can't say yeah stay home mind your business 624 your mother's a hawk get up wash your pussy something good might happen

today ladies so I'm good wash that fucking good they're tough out there now not that you're gonna give it up or something you never know you might bump into a fucking nice cock and he's ready for you guys it's fucking Monday things happen on Monday they do it's nice Texas is very nice I like Colorado I like Boulder but I really there's something about you know I really like Texas why cuz they understand me I never really bombed in Texas even though pass on I never really bummed they've taken the ride with me it seems like I can't but I can't I love that because nobody would fucking believe when you see these

when you see these fucking people that company shows you won't believe they laugh at me that's why that's why I love it so much the only other I think it was Amarillo what's it look the very top it's it only takes like a couple hours to get through at the very top I think it's Amarillo when I drove through and I love I like I didn't know it because I haven't really been it but I love the south everyone's just kind of cool and it seems like they're kind of like you like they're just like crazy that fucking crazy fashion let me tell you what happened all right I told I told you guys in the show I like Doug Dynasty

that's my shit and then I went home my cousin my niece turned me on to it I love my little niece so whatever she tells me I fucking do you're my wife goes that girl has you in the palm of your fucking kills me so she about I don't know a year ago she's like you want Doug dynasty uncle Joey so she's watching and I told that she goes who's your favorite kind and I go sigh you know she goes that's my favorite guy too cuz he reminds me of you he's fucking crazy I've never seen oh he's fucking crazy so give me shit about Iron Man and you're watching reality TV oh Doug dynasty is real Iron Man some fucking guy that was

doing coke 10 years ago in a room in Palm Springs with a chick dressed like Captain America give me a fucking break all right so I guess one of the associate producers listens to the show oh cool and he heard it and he fucking sent us an email saying he likes the show and thank you for the mention no I've always lied bro I'm a closet you know there's closet fags I'm a closet redneck I would love to be a redneck because I would talk some big-ass shit and it would just seem that's it I'm a redneck if you really think about they have no filter they don't give a fuck what you think they really don't that's me I'm

country yeah that's why I need so it says your country uncle Joe country accent there at the end oh fuck yeah I'm country dog I love it that's what I'm telling you I gotta get out of here I gotta get I gotta get to the south of actually and go down and just end it down there that's what I need that's we want to be yeah yeah that was my that's the light that's the end you know do Texas you're gonna go back to Tennessee everything like that I think I'm gonna build a tunnel like Mexicans go from Tennessee to Texas up through Mississippi I just like it I just like it I had a great time in New Orleans I

just like it man I like I understand and they understand me and if we got a gun you know I feel when I'm with somebody and they have a gun like in the east coast I get nervous when I'm gonna redneck and I gotta go I don't get nervous cuz I know he knows what he's doing with it you know I'm saying he's gonna shoot a fucking deer something's getting shot somebody what's up that makes me nervous what now let me do some shout outs real quick before we get this party started so I got some good Scottish Paulie got an office in fucking Orange County you know I love you who's this oh Andy fucking G it's

a friend Tonya that squad the fuck you laughing my crazy man James Malia G you know who I is Gio Justin fucking drum dirty Sanchez I love you Charles Garland and Kate oh Kristen I met this cute girl from Maine her sister she's a fucking massage therapist Caitlyn I want to give you a shout out she fucking hit me up this morning I would talk about she's a massage fucking therapist Calabrese is some shit I like her she had a cute sister and they had a nice cute other massage therapist where she was six foot two I thought of you she would fucking break your back Lee I'm sure I don't know if you were high when

you wrote that or if you're high now but you get surprised but what you're reading that's what I'm like oh shit I tell you what else I did when I was an honest I went to the new studios oh yeah you know I met Aubrey years ago and I always thought he was a fucking party guy and whatever but he was a type of guy that he confused me because he was a party guy but he had his shit together you know he's talking about chemicals and vitamins and you know him and Joe put together fucking you know alpha brain and all this stuff and I took the alpha brain now the the shroom tech and blah blah blah and you know listen to

people I know one thing when I used to smoke cigarettes and I used to smoke pot full time I get a cold 12 times a year especially when you travel your resistance is low when you fly you know you get sick you know I'm getting sick now I'm getting sick twice a year no fever maybe a little sniffle for a couple days and that's because I'm taking care of myself you know I'm drinking a lot a lot more water a lot more water like I've got even my wife said she goes I haven't been buying that much so you're not drinking that much you don't have it anymore when I go no that's it I've been drinking a lot of

water because don't you when I wake up in the morning first I do is drink water even if I hurt my stomach to clean out my track and put the bad breath fucking powder in my stomach so I could shit it out my shit smells like shit and bad breath now so it's fucked up but but on it and you know so I'm taking the shroom tech I'm taking the immune and I'm getting better at you know acupuncture it all helps out but the fucking on it has really helped me especially the strong bone to have protein how I have the protein in the morning and it rides with me the rest you know it rides with me for a few fucking hours yeah didn't

they give you like bars or something yeah so I'm gonna show them now it's so funny how I when I went to college I took a nutrition in health class and I used to pick his brain all the time I had Michael Pritchett and they had a bunch of football players in that class and I would pick the guy's brain and he would talk to me about oatmeal I don't point oatmeal in the morning because it goes a long way oatmeal I've abused it's like eating melatonin melatonin is good to help you fall asleep after two weeks you're back to square one yeah your body builds a resistance to it and then you got to take a month off and go back

to it that's why I say just take two hits off the fucking joint that shit don't wear off so we went down on it and we spoke it and you know what like I said today that I live by the strong bone I live by the head protein yeah now I'm on the website to see what new stuff they had and they got fucking chocolate bars right I ate these yesterday before I flew usually I need a breakfast these are hemp force have protein bars fucking seven grams of fiber ten grams of protein vanilla chai amazing fucking amazing oh shit so yesterday I ate one before the plane because my plane was at 620 yeah you just have to eat at the airport fuck

no they got these these help me and I ate on the plane I had like granola and yogurt on the fucking plane so it was good I saved myself some fucking time with it and you know what you go around and you buy these protein bars I don't know what you're spending for these at least you know these got the good stuff in them they don't have like fucking sugar and all this I know that are we put love into these fucking things go on on it website go to the hemp protein they get the hemp protein the chocolate or go to the bars I'll leave you a couple leaving you put them in the fucking juicer and I'll tell you what

else they got no time I really like I like the alpha brain sometimes it gets intense with the fucking alpha brain and you got to do what you got to do so they made alpha brain now and these little things that you put in mortar really yeah and I'll tell you what it helped me with yesterday they called the turnaround this is for like let's say you got a call that's coming on because not only does it have the alpha brain in it but it's got all the other shit that like some of the shroom tech some of the good things of strong bones let's say you're flying and you want to get a jet lag boom jet lag let's say you got one

I and got fucked up last night and you needed for a hangover boom this is or do it and let's say you just having a fucked up day because I got the best components a new mood in here to give this a fucking shot alpha brain little packages you put them in with fucking the amount of water you want you shake it up doesn't have the amount of alpha brain as a tablet but it'll get your fucking party started how do I know because I did one fucking yesterday before I got in the fucking plane I'm telling you I try this shit I don't give a fuck plus oh I ate that edible that edible fucking up bro thank I'm telling

you they gave me a cookie and fucking Austin a homemade cookie he said he put hash in there a little valium some fucking THC some gorilla biscuits his girlfriend's pubic as this thing set me off and fucking I was high for 18 god damn I was no you were yes I was no I got home last night I ate a bang bar why because I wanted to see the devil last night I had to write some jokes had to keep up I had a I wrote some shit on stage and I had to map bow I don't need no fucking bulletproof vest bitch not when you I got a fucking lease I had I just make him walk in front of me good thing I'm sure I'll just shit I gotta

chiropractor something my back my back is fucked up up in the top I've always had like a problem with shoulders when I felt when I was a kid I crunched up my shoulders I have like a ball under here at times so I gotta get like a fat little Chinese woman to walk on my back you know saying that's short because I can't have a fall off be fucking close and he thought it'd be you know whatever the gravitation pulls it down well the wall your acupuncture help with that tomorrow I know I might not have to go to acupuncture tomorrow I may take the day off and take a private lesson fucking do some jiu-jitsu oh shit fly

through the air you know I'm trying to put it together though I gotta lose I gotta lose this gut before the baby starts fucking she's already half grown is she really you're always gone a little weekend so I haven't seen her for a few months oh she's big they fucking grow fast and every time you come back they got a new trick to her oh really she gets big every time I leave when I come back three days later it's it's really something to see but you know this is gonna be for years so why fuck every time you do this yeah fucking do this so what else you goodly we're gonna have you want to see Iron Man what you

think everyone hated on it I thought it was a good action movie here's what's going on Lisa you know when we started the podcast I would put up a movie or two and we'd talk about it yeah and I do a good job with it but here's the problem I'm an old fuck Lee so all I got to all of these kids are old fucking movies and I'm embarrassed I get embarrassed in times because they say Joey what the fuck you're my uncle you're not giving me something new I don't have time to go see new shit but it's very weird that now that have access to computer and shit like that sometimes the movies coming out and I just read the

review yeah I go to a good reviewer I'm not gonna mention his name then I go to Rotten Tomatoes they shit on everybody yeah so if they like something it's got to be something there's something to the film I have some friends that work at Rotten Tomatoes now okay so I understand them a little more so like this week the Ice Man movie came out I read the book listen I was back there when he was doing his shit I seen the interviews then I read the book by Richard Carlo I think that's his name Rob Carlo Richard Carlo something called Phil Carlo he's a pretty good offer you also wrote he writes about like killers and

okay we gotta come in all right there's my little brother you know me it's fucking Rick Ramos on the father just telling these guys Rick that I'm very good with movies but the problem is I don't go to see a lot of new movies and since I'm fucking 50 I don't want these new guys to look at me and say Joey what the fuck you sound like my father you said there's no new movies I'm sure that they're making good new movies they're just not making them and the strength that they made them when I was fucking 10 or 11 with you know the longest yards and the Tommy's and the shit like that no the stuff that when

we were younger when we were kids it comes back to us it sticks with us now there are films from that time period they mean a lot to us because those were you know those are the formative years that's when we learned how to be men we were watching shit that was just unbelievable that's it you know Charles Bronson Lee Marvin stuff like that I was catching up on this stuff because I was lucky enough to have an old man that would show me move he sure my old man didn't do a whole hell of a lot for me as far as like interaction but she told me good movies to watch and I think you know you pick up on that kind of stuff

these are the ones that we that we grew up on man they formed us they they they told us who we were gonna eventually be that's what that's what I love about movies the fucking enforcer was on last week I was digging like the enforcer was on Clint Eastwood was great fucking movie he abuses the girl from Cagney and Lacey remember I remember God remember they're in the meeting that's one of the funniest lines he ever said in his life they're interviewing candidates him the one guy and the other guy and she comes in and they're like so Callahan you have any questions for the candidate he's goes how fast can you run the 40 fucking

Callahan was a bad motherfucker you know it's great about those movies you go back if you watch those old movies Eastwood had no problem of hitting anybody man woman he didn't give us he didn't care he even punched the ape he even beat the fucking ape up oh yeah I didn't care it was the best I want to say what's up with a flying Jew is he sitting right there yeah he's right hey Rick how you doing I've heard a lot about yeah and speaking about old movies well I saw a new one but it's by old guy Robert Redford came out with movie this year the company you keep because the company you keep it was fucking it was fucking good yeah a guy

one side of the art at the arc that is fucking good yeah I'll tell you what I did see our fucking Saturday Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford were sitting on some channel CNN one of those talking about all the presidents man oh and how it went down fucking amazing and Robert Redford still a gorgeous motherfucker you know that's one of the dudes that got me into acting when I saw this thing I'm like god damn god damn the fucking sting is good you know that's that's the craziest thing is that would move to what may I will put us on this pack you know he talked about Robert Redford I had the same thing when I was young and I

saw certain actors I remember I was telling my buddy Mike like about this I'm telling black you remember that scene in the untouchable where Sean Connery gets shot up and then he's crawling through the house yes I used to do that as a kid I would pretend I was Sean Connery I would get shot at my front door and then I would crawl through the living room into the kitchen gurgling up blood because I imagine that that's how crazy I was as a kid that I wanted to be that guy you know I wanted I didn't want to be me I wanted to be Sean Connery I wanted to be you know my first idol was said hey listen bro your

first idol should be 007 if not you might be fucking gay you might be taking on all fours if your first idol first time you've seen Sean Connery you were like that's the motherfucker I want us I remember what I still remember watching the saint when I was a kid thinking to myself that guy would make a good James Bond I swear to God I got no reason to lie to you when it was a when I was a kid it used to come on channel 5 not WPX not W door not WR but the other one in Jersey of New York it used to come on I used to think to myself that's that's the next fucking Jay he would make a good James Bond but

you're correct you know I saw last night Rick for five fucking minutes and I gotta tell you something Rick at this point in my life I really like to see people doing the best thing that they could do if you're a plumber and you come to my house with like 2013 technology I'll probably sit there watch you do it because you're an artist in your own sense you know I was scrolling across Mystic River last night the beginning oh which listen short pen I there's so many faces of Sean Penn one thing about Sean Penn is that white boy could act and when that white boy and then that movie Sean Penn I mean

everybody Lawrence Fishburn was brilliant yeah the other guy was brilliant who I love the guy from what's being sleepers also Kim Robert no Kevin Kevin Bacon no he wasn't asleep Kevin Bacon Kevin Bacon was fucking awesome in that the two guerrilla brothers that would come out with Sean Penn they were awesome the guy everybody's fucking a killer in that movie the wife the wife's friend the milk man the little kid everybody's a fucking after killer but Sean Penn when they finally find their daughter and they're all at the park and he tells the guerrilla

brothers to get the bulk cutters and they go in there fighting the 20 fucking Boston cops and you see if they're holding the one guerrilla brother down he's like get the fuck off me I've been in those situations we got 10 cops on you they're holding you down yeah I get the fuck off but when Sean Penn is yelling for his daughter is that oh yeah little girl listen dog I mean even if you lost a parakeet if you don't feel his pain in that scene then you got to go psychiatrist and all shoot yourself either or because he's brilliant met whatever short that's a great thing about movies is that when it touches you like

that when he grabs a hold of you it doesn't want to let you go I mean that camera the boom it's right on top of them and then it just lifts up it's like going into the heavens and they're holding on to Sean Penn Sean Penn was like you know what five cops ain't gonna be enough he told Clint Eastwood you get 15 cops they're gonna hold me down because I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind that's a great scene I remember seeing that yeah yeah my goddamn mind oh you know you don't kill me though but I it was like an audible gas I freaked out when they go into the old gross into the liquor store and who's the old Jew

behind the counter Eli Wallach yeah come on now you go back baby this is what I'm talking to you fucking young kids you got a lit Eli fucking Wallach I can't even understand them you know what he's really good you know what he's really good and dog what's up one of the worst movies that ever came out is the last godfather oh yeah but he was brilliant in it he was he's sitting there like like yeah he was in his yeah he must have been in the late 60s then 70s maybe you got a watch what is it Godfather 3 Godfather 4 what is it Godfather 3 that was 89 or something like that Christmas day Christmas day 89 Christmas

day it came out that's right 98 I'm spoken don't break it somebody like that who commands the screen and you're watching it you're thinking that that's the greatest Jew to ever play a Mexican ever ever Eli Wallach forever he's still alive he's 97 God fucking bless God bless one thing about me and Rick were both fucking his fan and we're both fucking not Lee Marvin who played Ernie the Ernest Borgman me and Rick understood the beauty and I loved him and so this day I really don't watch Poseidon adventure because I don't want to cry no more I don't know what where's

more tears in the fucking tank with a six with a boat sank whenever I watch fucking him in that movie there's a couple movies he's done again the youth of America don't know her in his Borgman you just they don't know they don't know they look at this fat ugly guy and they think they write him off because why would I why would he do a movie that I would be interested in and that's a bullshit because there's a story there I was watching the wild bunch yesterday you said they're like please I get you know what I'm so screwed up I'm so messed up in my friendship in my relationship because I expect I expect

my friends to go into the fire with me like where you're holding an earnest boy you know what I mean I expect that I expect a friend to be there like that guy like Ernie's born I know we're gonna get killed let's do it anyway it doesn't mean shit to me let's go and and you want something like that you watch Ernest Borgman and you're looking at a guy yeah it's almost like what the hell else was he gonna do you know he was either gonna act or he was gonna be on a line somewhere you know building cars or something that's I mean he was real and Hollywood wasn't afraid of putting somebody that looked like your dad or

your uncle or your grandfather on screen they embraced it they live like this is a real guy how many times have you been watching a movie you watch one of those old movies and you're like alright this is gonna be okay and then you see one actor that you love and you're like oh shit it's over at this point now I'm just waiting for this guy to come on screen Streuther Martin Ernest Borgman guys like that was just like shit it's like no no how about the the trainer and you love and I love too and we're we oh my god Rick the guy in hard times the cut man but Stother Martin Stother Martin oh my god he's fucking good oh my god he

delivers that he delivers that that southern gentleman these men ain't refined street it's just like oh my god you know it's funny line every line is American I got it I went to a Vanna Chubbock's acting school you know a Vanna Chubbock is like the high-end acting school that the black girl from Monsters ball that fucks the white dude yeah sure with Charlize Duran she had three Oscar winners in a row she does she does really well with women because she breaks her down but she had a coach there named Chris Holder who was very good and one of the first scenes he gave me was Ernie the butcher right is that

it what's the name of the movie Ernest Borgman Marty Marty I'm so sorry kept Ernie Marty yeah and he gave me the scenes from Marty and it was funny because I had seen it again when I was a kid after I saw Poseidon Adventure I tried to watch everything he was in you know yeah and I watched Marty and I think he showed it to me not for me to do the scene as much as to give me confidence because he was a fat ugly dude you know yeah so I remember watching it going if that motherfucker do it I could do it really doesn't matter what you look like you can still go fucking after and you know so in a lot of ways

I said Ernest Borgman because he opened up doors for me in my mind he opened up doors for me in my mind that let me know I could do whatever the fuck I want to do because he ain't no fucking you know I'll tell you what to be honest with you Rick I gotta I gotta interrupt you here I gotta interrupt myself I watch I watch some good movies this weekend you know I once in my hotel room the other day no country for old men and the other day and then Friday I watched the boxing movie with Clint Eastwood with the chick you know and he has to kill her yeah I watched some great movies lately just you know

off the cuff what am I saying I just Rick I'm upset with myself because I don't have a chance to go to new movies and now me and my wife were trying to catch a movie every other month we'd force ourselves because they opened up a new Lemley by my house but the movies were so bad everything started off good that went somewhere else I think the last good movie I saw was the playbook the playbook with the narrow so that's it you know I really and I'm really interested in one thing I knew Iron Man was out this weekend but I also know that the the fucking Iceman was out this week and you and I you and I have

discussed the Iceman for 10 years we both read the book by Philip Carlo we're both fans and I disagree with the casting so I was I was pissed about the casting what didn't you like but then I read the fucking reviews and nobody really bashed it is there a review up real quick wanted for nobody really fucking shit on it like they gave it a life but I know when I spoke to went to watch it either like I talked to Felipe he was in Utah I talked to a couple of people over the weekend I go you watch it now nobody watching so you know again when the fuck do I have time to go to a movie theater I was gonna ask Lee if you

want to go last night but I didn't know where it was by Ron tomatoes gave it 67 and that's pretty good for that's really good for rotten tomatoes cuz rotten tomatoes hates everything so let's see who's in I didn't know I don't know who's in it change Franco is playing my friend's father the prong guys okay yeah the writer of the unknowing wife and Ray Leuda as the crime boss the new guy that's playing him I can't remember his name but I haven't seen him in a lot of stuff yeah he's in the fucking whatever the move the thing on HBO Michael Shannon he's on that show Broadwalk Empire oh yeah but you know

this is the thing it's like it's you know when you say that you don't get a chance to go see movies it's because there are so many bad movies out there and it's like you got to be kind of a glutton for punishment because everything I see maybe I'm a little bit interested here or a little bit interested there for the most part at this point all I can hope for usually it's a good it's a good couple of scenes or a good performance I went and saw pain and gain a couple of weeks ago horrible movie but the rock is good the rock delivers in this fucking I heard it's funny I heard the movie is funny the

movie has moments but it still feels like like a Michael Bay he doesn't know how to pull back Michael Bay doesn't know how to make a smaller film it's all transform is for him you know but that movie was the rock for me it was the rock you know and that's the thing I don't think you have the patience for that kind of thing because it's like you know what this too this too few hours in the day because your wife you got your kids you got shows to do you got everything it's like when you go to a movie it's like you're investing two hours of your life that you're never gonna get back two hours 20 minutes of

previews you got to drive there you got to drive back that's a three and a half hour stick yeah but I got to Lemley they got the popcorn with the powder on it the blue fucking cheese you got the fucking iced tea you got that it's nice I tell you what my problem is Rick when I sit there in the daytime 40 minutes in I got a kick to the head going you could be writing a joke right now exactly and then the phone lines that your agent you could have nothing going on in one matinee I look at you and go Rick let's go fucking to see a matinee and the minute I sit on my agent calls me goes I just sent you sides for nine pages of

fucking dinner or movie so I'm trying to focus on this movie knowing there's sides on my computer for a fucking dinner on movie you know I'm saying so it's always very hard to sit I like to go on Sundays again on Sundays you got to find the perfect time I like to go to 11 11 30 and get the fuck out of there so I'm thinking of renting a movie that got bashed by the critics bashed by the critics but I ran into a couple fucking dudes of the solid never like dog it wasn't a bad movie now for me for you to bash Brad Pitt it kills me because in my eyes Brad Pitt don't do nothing wrong from snatched to fucking the one with

the fucking with Hannibal Lecter to one with the with the outside with the brothers the legends of the fall legends of the fall I mean Brad Pitt's a bad motherfucker what I suck is that with a couple cocktails in me at this point who gives a fuck I may lick his nuts or whatever that's a bad-ass dude you might get to eat some good pussy just from DNA with that motherfucker but I heard softly wasn't that good you told me something different I like this see this is the thing is people don't like it because they're used to a faster quicker let's get to the point kind of a movie they want to see some shit going

down they want to see it now this movie doesn't do that this movie is slow and deliberate and I was watching I would do it some reading on it it's based on a book called Cogan's bluff which was written by a guy I can't remember the guy's name but the guy also wrote a movie called the Friends of Eddie Coyle I know this he did it man and it's slow I remember you remember how slow and deliberate that is yes you're just sitting there and you're like yes sometimes you gotta be willing to just sit there and absorb a movie just let it let it become you and killing them softly is that kind of movie if you're

going in thinking it's gonna be a lot of shoot them up and killing and and Tarantino bullshit it's not it's nothing like that it's a slow hit it's the kind of movie that you sit back you have a beer you smoke the joint you watch the sink and you let it take over your life for that two hours and it's got great performances by everybody the two junky idiots who robbed the card game those guys are great on Gandolfini comes in for a couple of scenes and he's just he's just this degenerate beat-up broken down old hired killer and you see you see what happens to you in that life the speech that he gives and it's not

self-conscious he's deliberate like he is that guy like he's at the end of his line and like he's got nowhere else to go everything I think this movie last year I saw four movies that really knocked me on my ass one was Flight with Denzel the other one was a dammit Silverline's playbook I liked a lot mostly because DeNiro was actually busting his ass to get it but it made me feel good Liam Neeson in the gray and this movie four movies I must have 150 200 because you know I go to the movies I go to at least a movie a week you're the real deal I tell people Rick I listen to other podcasts and listen to

those other people that they're hiring for CNN they cannot touch you Rick I've been around for 50 years I don't know I hope you people understand I'm getting nothing for promoting Rick I'm just telling you that through experience when you sit down with Rick and he breaks a movie down for you you have to write from there you run right to the blockbuster if there's still one open or you go to Netflix and you better have some cheese and crackers because you're you're sitting there thinking about what Rick told you it's amazing Rick you really fucking dynamite and I can't wait till you get a podcast going or you get

your fucking web page because I'm gonna be a number one support starting up my own thing in about in about two or three weeks I'll put it together right now it's just gonna be me talking about movies I just want to talk about something that you know what it's not even like I was telling somebody this it's not even how it's not the Jews it's not what the movie actually is about it's what the movie means to you and that's why you talk about it was such passion you know that's why would you know when everything clicks and you're watching at something and it's taking you enough to

another world another place people's lives and you're absorbed in it that's a beautiful thing hold on one second what I am and do for you you fuck it was you feel like I am man I didn't go for that round cock sucker Jesus huh I wanted to ask I I never saw flight but I wanted to be yes break it down Rick flight because I love Denzel but yeah it was from the from you go into this movie and you expect it's gonna be one thing this hero story about landing a plane and maybe he's got some problems and then it becomes something completely different he's not a likable guy it's a testament to how good Denzel Washington is because

he's charismatic he's he's this guy that you want a root for even though he's a scumbag he's a scumbag throughout the whole movie he's a drunk he's a co-caid he's he's using all the time he doesn't give a shit about his wife and his kid and it's all about taking responsibility for what he has done about getting coked up and drunk for like a three-day bender and flying these planes and granted what he does in the movie he lands this plane and saves 97 lives six people die but now he's accountable for that and it's just the the ego that this guy has and the way she's running from his demons because I don't care who you

are if you've ever had something in your life that that just brought that you know like an addiction of some kind where the drinking was out of control or the father or the coke was out of control you can identify with this guy and it's the way she's the way she's doing a line just to get straight after being drunk for a weekend my god and it doesn't shy away from it he doesn't try to make this guy likeable he doesn't try to make him a nice guy the guy has charisma but he's still a scumbag if you don't see it see that movie goddamn it was it was great to see Robert to make a making a live-action movie again he hasn't done

it in 10 years and I used to love the guy the guy used to be great I watched yesterday when I got home and let the TV on after walking on the baby guess what was on Rick the last 40 minutes of man on fire did you happen to watch on AMC it's been on the last three Saturdays or Sundays in a row AMC finally said you know what Joe D is a fucking idiot but he's got us on this one they play it I caught the last 40 minutes when he makes Hector fucking shoot himself yeah from there on in that movie does not play when he goes to that Mexican house and he starts to who's Rosa Sanchez yeah and he shoots the little brother remember the

brother gets hit by a truck and he goes out in the fucking art he goes out there with a fucking shotgun yeah and he pulls the brother you know I've been in no situation thought well you're just running on fear you're on fear now you're just on fear and that's it I'm gonna go out there with this fucking thing and I'm gonna take my chances awesome the crowd turns on a little Mexican dude and he brings him upstairs and he calls the guy and before he puts him on the phone with his brother he shoots his fucking hand off are you kidding me yeah the scene that got me was a scene with the guy in the bomb and he sticks the bomb and then

and then the other thing where I can't believe I'm forgetting his name but where he goes uh every person has his masterpiece and Chris is about to paint his master like that whole Christopher Walker it's one of the greatest more I'm telling you listen I I what's the movie that was supposed to win the Oscar last year that Barbara Streisand my favorite Jew of all time walked out and sank his ship I'm a day as well as that fucking movie last year that came out that it was supposed to win they spent 800 million dollars on this movie the guys are genius the cartoon with the chick the purple fucking chick

oh are you talking about uh yeah like a couple years ago yeah what's the what the fuck is the name of that movie avatar avatar you know it's like all that shit is great yeah you know what man as far as the movie is concerned I tell you I like it's like you say Rick it's not even about the movie no more as long as the movie fucking moves you when you watch Goodwill Hunting if you don't feel like getting off the couch when Ben Affleck makes that speech then I don't know what the fuck Ben Affleck is becoming a fucking savage he's a kid that we got to talk about this kid's becoming that Argo was great

but I'm still fucking stuck on that movie when he robs banks in Boston oh yeah I'm still stuck on that yeah I'm still stuck on that movie him and that chick I would eat that big chick's pussy everybody wrote him off everybody thought he was a pretty boy and he made shit movies god damn but bam when you come back and you hold on to something that you care about and you put it on that screen you know what there's a reason all those actors wanted to work with them because the kid delivers man he's and I saw him at the Egyptian theater when he was promoting the town

I saw what was the town and gone baby gone the nicest guy you could imagine answered the questions talked to people he you know what he's real he's an honest guy he's not some Hollywood bullshit asshole he's up there he wants people to really understand and see his movies because he cares you could see that you could see that compared to somebody who was just there collecting the paycheck I just do it because he asked him because who do you think he asked this guy cares and and it comes out in the film man comes out talking about comedies I watched office space also

last week one of my fucking that's my shit dog that's my shit I would never see what oh that little hindu and the fucking redneck neighbor and that's my world the little kid that works as the waiter at the restaurant yeah I like listen I want to be entertained you know I watch porkies and I get entertained porkies was on I gotta watch the part when you know the dick in the shower that's brilliant as far as I'm concerned because it's so stupid that it makes you go back and back you know I want that's the thing it doesn't have to be

intelligent it doesn't have to be high-prout it just has to be good doesn't make you laugh if it makes you laugh then shut your goddamn mouth and start laughing that's it don't talk to me about high-end comedy or you don't like fart jokes or any of it or they're skimming the bottom funny it's funny well I have a question for you Rick I was I'm looking at Denzel's IMDb because I like a man on fire was my best friend and his favorite movie for a few years and then uh fucking uh what's the training day

was a mate was it I even almost like that better than man on fire it's close to it but uh then he did like American gangster I was so excited for it and it kind of felt flat and then he did like taking a Pelham one two three and it's like him actors kind of fall into roles and like he he falls into like the older black man teaching some guy in like the twist and even even with bad comedies I loved Anchorman but ever since Anchorman every movie while Farrell does is that movie and you get sick of it why do actors do that like they they find one role that works

and they beat it to death until no one's not the actor it's the studio it's the studio it's the studio I come to you with 20 million listen if it was up to Paramount then they would have done a thousand gangster movies they don't give a fuck they don't give a fuck you know with Will Farrell it's the same character every fucking movie you know after like uh Anchorman which I was I was Anchorman too hasn't come out yet but it's gonna be awful how do you know because it's it's gonna it's his last try but it's gonna be awful you know I gotta tell

you something American gangster was a movie that I tried to get in I got hired in the movie then they recasted the movie and I watched that movie and I have it on my DVR I don't think it's a fucking great movie yeah it's in my DVR and I have it in a box and I'll tell you why because of what Rick says in every movie he shines somewhere he's so good he really is really fucking good but in that movie when his mother when he's going to shoot the cop yeah and his mother stops him in the hallway

and she tells him can I talk to you he's chewing that gum and he's not listening you know that reminded me of my mother when she would chew that gum like that that gum that meant something was gonna go down like she was making a phone call she was about to do something and I that scene always destroys me she sits him down and says let me talk to you let me talk to you but even me a beat-up old woman knows there's no business she tells him about the brothers coming up here if you'd have been a baseball player they would have been basically remember

and then she goes one thing it's bad business for cops and he goes to walk away and she fucking smacks him watch that scene again Denzel shines in every movie he does something that's worth 20 million dollars because he does the work guys every day he goes through every emotion you could go through he cries he laughs he's a brilliant fucking actor yeah that is he really is and nobody gives him shit and it was weird when I seen him nominated for that movie he got nominated this year for an Oscar for that did he not

for best man yeah so I got away and I'm thinking to myself why didn't I see that I just thought it was the scully story so I didn't really want to watch it I thought it was a story about the white guy that put the plane down at the Hudson because I heard he was fucked no no okay yeah no I was excited I'm glad he liked it and you like the gray I would never have guessed you like the good it just seemed like it like I didn't see it but it just seemed great I'll tell you when I walked out of it did you see the gray no it was weird the gray is about

Liam Neeson is a guy who lost his wife recently and he works for the um he works for the oil companies up in Alaska shooting wolves he shoots timber wolves to keep them from attacking the the workers out in the that are working on the pipeline they get on a plane to fly home the plane crashes so now they have to survive the elements and these wolves that are attacking them and I'm sitting and it's it's primal it's very basic there's not a lot going on this movie

but it's an all-male cast and it's how they're getting on each other's nerves and killing each other and the machismo and there's a guy named Frank Grillo in this thing who does an amazing job and the fact that they didn't nominate him for a for a best supporting actor it's a crime it was criminal because that guy was unbelievable he plays this badass hardcore Mexican that that that is that thinks he's tougher than he is Liam Neeson puts him in his place and they have to survive this world

and there's a scene near the end where the wolves are chasing him and they're beating up and broken down where Grillo to sit down and looks off into into into the forest into this river and the speech he gives god damn it touches you it makes you it just it gives you I had chills I was just sitting there like this movie when I got out of this movie I called my old man and I said dad have you seen the great he said no I said go see it tomorrow whatever you're doing go see it tomorrow and then call me

and we talked he called me afterwards and we talked for like two hours because this is a man's movie you don't you don't get that too often anymore you don't get men being men anymore that that that everything everything is this this half half queer shit where it's a bromance or guys are they're trying to gain men up so these are men if they had made this movie 25 years ago it would have been Charles Bronson in the wilderness it would have been Lee Marvin you know it was like death watch in a weird way because it's like

it's just about surviving seeing how far you could go I'm not giving up and it was beautiful this movie really kicked the hell out of my soul I love this movie it was the last thing that I've seen that just knocked me out and one other thing about Rick one other thing about you Rick that you know like Rick even knows what movies are coming out like Rick will say dog in November I'm taking after lunch into a movie you're like Rick it's fucking May oh yeah Rick knows it Rick turned me on to the wrestler

me and Rick went to see the wrestler uh what else did we go watch you turn me on to like we went to see the wrestler the Clint Eastwood movie they went to like three movies in three days or something we saw a lot of stuff we took Edwin San Juan to that movie with Clint Eastwood where they were insulting Asians we're sitting there throughout the whole fucking movie with Edwin San Juan and they're calling chink and fucking gook and fucking and he's living and he's howling he's fucking howling at the thing and I feel I'm

I'm so embarrassed but I love Edwin San Juan you know well any movies that you're looking forward to the coming up oh god there's nothing right now until god what is coming up that I'm thinking of I got you know what because it's just like I I don't like to get my hopes up too much because things are usually so bad but god damn um what the hell is being made right now Scorsese is going back these two you know what the one thing that I'm looking forward to um that it's gonna sound weird but I really am

that HBO movie about liberal artsy yeah yeah Michael Michael if anybody can do that it's Michael Douglas Michael Douglas yeah you're right I saw the commercials for it yeah me too me too it's gonna be very fucking interesting very interesting you're right I forgot you know that's the movie I'm looking forward I thought you'd be looking forward to grudge match with your boy De Niro in it you know what I heard about this I I wasn't sure what to think I was like you know what if they do it right and they and they do it with heart

it's gonna be great because I think De Niro's got great films left in him and the last Rocky Rocky Balboa really it touched me it was good it came back after that shit that was Rocky five Balboa Balboa made me cry a couple of times it was it was like you know he lost his wife he's got nothing else boom and and just the idea of De Niro back in the ring fighting Stallone and I've got to admit you know when you were calling me about it I was just like you sounded like a little kid talking about working on that movie I was like a kid listening to you I was

like your little brother just oh we were we were because you're the only person Rick you're the only person who understands you're the only person yeah we had late night talks at the fucking comedy store and we took acting classes together and we talked and you know it's not even about the movie it's not I don't think it's gonna be a an Academy Award winning movie Stallone's gonna be great and Kevin Hart I'm looking forward to seeing him and you know I'm always looking forward to seeing these movies you're always uh for me it meant something else

you know I'm saying for me being on that movie I'm gonna even excited about the movie coming out because I already did my job I stood there toe-to-toe with a guy that uh I never thought I'd even get to meet I saw him and analyzed too but I wouldn't even breathe as fucking air bro yeah and now I was forced to breathe as that oh you know right after right after you talked to me I called my mom right after you talked about I was like ma joey's working with denaro and she was like really and I was like ma

you don't even know how it was like I was so thrilled I was I was like a kid I was kidding I was so excited I was like I can't wait to see this because it's like it's somebody that I know sharing the same you're not you're not you're not like in one room and he's in another room you're sharing a scene you're sharing a few scenes with with one of a great rick and I gotta be honest with you rick I'm gonna tell you a confession that I've never told nobody I'm a saint on the podcast what's the move I did a movie called Boilermaker what's the guy in that movie

press up Boilermaker he was the guy that was in deer hunter George Tezonza no no oh John Savage John Savage when I did deer when I did Boilermaker and I did the scene with Savage I always knew right there is when I knew in my heart that I had gotten somewhere in my acting I cannot lie to you as who boxes John sat John Savage by the way people is a fucking sweetheart and just a I mean this guy works constantly guys oh constantly bad movies big movies and when you work

aside him you learn so much because he gives every movie a hundred percent but just to be stand next to this guy that did deer hunter right there at that coffee table when they call cut I knew but if I got I was good enough to work with Savage eventually I'm gonna bump into the narrow I never told nobody that and you know what else happened during Boilermaker that's when Marilyn died that's what that movie changed my life that was uh that was when Marilyn told me to quit doing coke I got that movie with the AA guys Montoya got me that movie because he knew

the writer it was such a weird movie but me meeting John Savage in that movie at that coffee table and doing the scene with him I mean I worked on for 18 fucking days I knew right there that I was in a cross paths with fucking De Niro right there I never repeated it to nobody I never told my wife I just knew it that if I was good enough to be in a room with Savage De Niro was fucking next and it took uh you know eight years but I finally fucking worked at the man and now you know you can't put that on your resume that's not for your resume that's for nothing that's

just for you knowing you know I'm saying that's just you know and you know what Rick if I did it you're gonna do it next and we're both gonna fucking laugh about this someday that's the dream you know that's the and you gotta make you you gotta have something that you're holding on to and making it worthwhile and you know what you there are very few people that I can actually say inspire me I was listening to the podcast I was listening to religiously now I have some things that came into my life that I got that I got derailed now I'm listening to it again you are doing you the two of you were

doing a hell of a good thing for a lot of people you're showing them the world you're showing them how to deal it's like it's like don't make the mistakes that I've made understand what the options are and you know what it's a beautiful thing it really is what you do for an hour hour 15 hour 20 minutes every every Monday or it's a man and Rick I gotta tell you some people uh the flying juice said to me he was listening to a podcast I was on and that they were saying you know they're blowing smoke up my ass about uh you inspire and I felt like shit he knows

I hate all that stuff because he doesn't what these guys don't understand Rick is that we love them for giving us an hour for doing this you have no idea how happy I am that people actually listen to this shit that me and this fucking Jew across from me talk about which is stupid in disgust but they get the main thing of what we're telling motherfuckers is that if we could do anything you guys could do this you know what I yell at this fucking guy told him to get in the pool Rick Rick by the way me and Rick walked into the walls of Weight Watchers together oh yeah we lost all the weight together we went

to the meetings and we used to destroy those fucking meetings we used to destroy those chicks we used to torture they thought they loved them they fucking loved the 930 meeting was the hot meeting in that Jew neighborhood down there and it's the toughest weight watcher because right across the street there's the best bagel place in LA the best they have the two different types of salmon and all that shit I mean do you see the dredge going there the dig on their wraparise really flagged this is the real bagel place I'm Beverly and my lion babily off LeBrea is it oh you're telling

that's Juville dog we'd have to walk out there and fucking put blinders on not to go in that bagel place so I don't want to hear it when you're fucking juicing my man I ran with the real Jews down there they'd stand by the door and watch it like I bought you weight watches are you serious we fucking killed Jesus in Nazareth and you're fucking worried about a few pounds you dumb fat fucks good fucking times Rick we're gonna have you call in once every two weeks even if it's in the late call just to talk about uh what movie you're seeing what's

your plans I love you at all my heart I'm happy you were able to do this today I love you I really wanted to get you on this I had a couple shots and I kept saying how do we build this for Rick I want to get this over and like I said the door is open if you get a wall bug up your ass and you just want to get in the car Thursday morning and drive to Arizona to meet me and the other Jew at the stand-up live at Phoenix we'd love to have you brother that sounds like a good time my midway can make that happen we'll see what we I love you buddy thank you and thank you for your family and everything for

being a fucking knowledge Rick Ramos where they follow you on twitter they call me gondoramos all right I'm gondo g-o-n-d-o-r-a-m-o-s and do me a favor gondoramos put your movie pick of the week on there even if it's an old movie and I'll retweet it so these motherfuckers know so they get off my back movie pick of the week but you gotta do it every week started this started tomorrow on twitter that's what I'm saying to you all right I love you I'll put it out there and I'll I'll send people up to my blog okay all right now retweeting me so the people see it I love you thank you I love you thank you thank you guys so much

we'll talk soon stay black cock suckers all right thank you brother thank you that's knowledge for you cock suckers right there Rick Ramos is a bad motherfucker all these guys I make believe compared to this kind of Taylors and Saley they make believe we know about they know nothing this guy was walking into fucking Omar Sharif last night went to see uh whatever that movie last night that's what he was doing well then from there he went to see those low boys for Cinco de Mayo Rick don't fuck around Rick works hard so he could party hard he went to see uh Lawrence Arabia at the fucking Egyptian theater or some shit

yeah this kid don't fuck around we went to we go to double features I mean I just can't go to the amount of movies he goes to because my mind will sizzle good podcast today I had a good time it's now what you want to fucking Monday we got the motherfucking party started and that's all you could uh watch you know I'm saying on a fucking Monday morning did you don't need let me see three jumping jacks let's go you do fucking jumping I'll go bitch the fuck you think I'm gonna scare us in jumping jacks yeah I do let's see there it is Mr. Wards alive for this people oh shit oh shit it looks like four five bitch you better do six and while you're doing that throw the knife like shit and shit hurry up you fuck look at you one two three four five six there you go

seven look at you eight nine ten look at looking jumping up and down look at the flying Jew flying oh shit so beautiful motherfucking Monday two fat guys winded I love you all my heart like I told you earlier on it is doing some great things and I can't tell you them about them enough go to honet.com take the package get the alpha force fucking protein bar get the hemp force and remember the hemp force bars are not chocolate they want to do a vanilla chai which is fucking delicious the chocolate is in the in the in the powder powder for the milkshakes that's good and you mix it with some almond fucking milk and you put a little coconut on that motherfucker stop it with a banana a la Einstein and so go to honet put on the fucking box church

c-h-u-r-c-h and get you a little discount to put you on a mailing list they got t-shirts that what are you doing over there with your hand styling that c-h-u-r-c-h you what you know somebody is deaf no I took and call it did you really yeah for it that's what you spend that's what you write fucking checks you took a loan out for when fucking sign language I had to take a language this is what I'm dealing with people so you learn sign language I'm like Israeli or Spanish I took Hebrew but I'm bad at it what'd you get in Hebrew fucking like a bee I took it in when I was in Israel but I'm awful at it and I like sign language you better go back on alpha brain you're acting a little fucking new box you better put it in a little milkshake you're

because then when I took two semesters of sign language three years ago some message of sign language three years ago you're fucking I'm gonna stab you before the week's over I feel I feel a felony what you have eggs what the fuck you have an eggs for if you're not at this deli in New Jersey every everything but anything I do you better swim today too I don't give a fuck about clouds and thunder you don't eat this cream cheese unless you know the cow what the fuck I'm gonna pick you up at two o'clock to go swim in the fucking pool you're not gonna do no you're gonna have a fucking other edible when you get home you're gonna call me really do that passed out I got shit to do today I got to kick till fucking nine I gotta make a move at 10 I got

shit cracking I'm doing Greg Fitzsimmons tonight oh cool at seven o'clock I can't wait to do that I gotta go to dentist Wednesday tomorrow I got some I got shit going on cops oh Sam I'm Thursday I'm gonna stand up live in Phoenix so if you're down the Phoenix area Scottsdale Yuma where the fuck you're at we're rocking the house Thursday night eight o'clock stand up live Phoenix come on down Jaguars the strip club they're fucking come on down Yolanda Cano that sexy little Mexican she's coming down with a bunch of freaks from Jaguar come on down the following week I'm a governor's in Long Island I think I'm a governor's one night and the other club the other night get your tickets those are gonna go fast I'm gonna have a good time we got some savages up there

they're showing up with a pound of fucking weed they're rolling two joints a day till they get you think I'm kidding you every day on Twitter they send me a fucking picture they're rolling three fucking joints a day till they get to up to like 800 fucking joints for the weekend they say they ain't fucking around so I suggest you get your plane ticket now because I can fly in Jew and you'll really be the flying Jew we'll get you on Egyptian Airlines and and we're at and then in June Utah I'm coming to Wise Guys I'm going to Lexington Kentucky and I'm coming back to San Jose with my main man fucking Alcatraz Lee Lee Lee Syat ocean what else we got going on what if you're gonna juice this week yeah I'm gonna start doing the videos yeah

so yeah and I want to uh there's one guy who's doing it with me it's uh I think Albert let me go go check Jackson Roy Lewis Jr. I don't know why I thought I was Albert uh so yeah it's but we're on day six today so and you feel good I'm gonna pound you a little so far like down like 10 pounds let me see you let me see good good crap yeah and uh I think I I think I might want to do more than 30 I want to get down because I lost 66 last time and I gained about 10 15 back Mike Dolce call next week I can't wait to talk to him but you got to go over to that little gym because the more muscle you build it helps you burn fat and helps you burn more calories no yeah we're not teasing you no no yeah listen to me dog I'm gonna tell you this when I was your age

people would tell me the same shit I didn't listen ended up being a fat fucking now I work hard every day I try a little something every fucking day you know I'm saying yeah so but you're in the right track and I'm proud of you try to swim a couple days a week you don't swim I don't like I got some sun good for you know like I said I went for a blood test and the doctor laughs he goes you have the same problem everybody else has in LA a low fucking deep how do you how do we have a low D deficiency in the sunlight because we don't jump in the pool we don't walk out there without a hat on walk the sun's bad for you if you fucking go out there all day and you know put that brown sauce on you and sit out there and bake like a fucking muck but if you just go out there

and get a taste of it appreciate and give it love it'll give you love back and they're gonna give you no fucking cancer that's it as far as we're concerned today this podcast is over if you want to go get some t-shirts you want to see my tour dates you want to see what's cracking lacking go to joeyds.net get your commemorative church of what's happening now long sleeve t-shirt or hoodie the hoodie ain't gonna work for you because it's fucking summertime except in Colorado the fucking the penguins are moving back up there so it's still fucking snowing we got t-shirts we got tour dates we got everything yarmulkes you slip them with the coffee cups and you didn't make the demo real that's where you fucked up i wrote it down now when i get on the podcast with the scene

you know the give me the fucking days one there's no swimming today you have to get it right oh and testicle testing is coming out soon oh shit testicle testament five this is a good one i heard it's coming out may 28th okay i didn't do this one somebody lip synced it for me somebody loves things so uh it's gonna be a good one and then we got a lot of shit going on we got the live show on the 26th or something at the ice house okay and these tickets are gonna go this is off the chain i'm already got people saying we got tickets already so if they already got tickets and it's not even fucking may last week it's gonna go so don't fuck around we're gonna get a good guest and we're gonna rock your live i'm gonna eat edibles and fucking get fucked up so i can talk

shit on david spade and everybody else i love you guys since we're talking about love hit them with some real fucking love today and cut it out this is as good as it gets i love you coxsuck it's leaking my kiss there you go you need i'm gonna give you my you've been honey you need i'm gonna give you my