Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #052 - MICHAEL RAPAPORT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... Wednesday, March 31st..... Today, we talked to an old friend, MICHAEL RAPAPORT..... This episode is brought to you by BluBlox & ZipRecruiter...... Go to https://www....BluBlox.com/Joey Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #MichaelRapaport Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada visuals@benjamintelford.com Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings from podcast value cocksuckers. It's Wednesday, March 31st. Listen, fucking where the hell did the ego was just fucking New Year's Eve and we're jumping up and down. Anyway, the joint is welcoming blue box to the podcast. This is a great new sponsor. Blue blocks makes the best sleep mass known to mankind. Let me explain something. Ever since I moved to Jersey, I had to switch my time zones. A couple of years ago, I read a book, Rogan had a guy on there talking about a book about sleep. The book was fucking tremendous. I cannot find it. I don't know what the hell happened to. I think I lent it out. Sleep is fucking important. It's important is edit. I could tell when I gain weight, it's because I'm not sleeping
Starting point is 00:00:43 a full eight hours. Blue blocks sent me this mask about three weeks ago. They sent me three of them. My daughter uses it. My wife uses it and I use one. And I'll tell you what, it's tremendous. Why? Because any amount of light can keep you awake. But the blue block sleep mass, it blacks out everything. Total darkness. Once you go black, you'll never sleep with anything else again. It cups your eyes and it makes your world go away. And it helps you drift off to sleep. Seriously, you need darkness around you when you're sleeping. If you work nights, take the butcher paper off the window. If you're a crack head, get the aluminum foil on the off the window and get this proven to increase REM and deep sleep. The adjustable head strap doesn't wear out and its
Starting point is 00:01:28 control sides allowed for you side and belly sleepers. There's no slipping. I mean, I wear it over my sleep apnea mask. It's comfortable and it doesn't squeeze your face like a grape. Plus, it's made with lightweight, breathable fabric to keep you cool all night long. I mean, these guys thought about everything. You understand me? So do me a favor. Support blue blocks because they support the joint. Get yours today. Sleeping is one part of health that not a lot of people take seriously. I didn't for a long time. And now this is why I'm looking the way I'm looking because I'm sleeping. So do me a favor. Go right now to blue blocks.com slash Joey again. That's blue box.com slash Joey get 20% off when you press in. So go to blue block blue blocks dot com B L U B L O X
Starting point is 00:02:22 dot com slash Joey and use promo code Joey for 20% off night night cocksuckers. You're going to hit me up and go Joey. I'm sleeping like a doctor because of you. Thank you. You're welcome. Anyway, the joint is also brought to you by zip recruiter. Are you hiring right now? This is the time of the year when things start to open up. The vaccine is rolling out. What kind of piece of people are you looking for? Do you need somebody to wear a lot of hats? What do you need? Finding that person is hard. It's like trying to find a needle in the haystack. That's where zip recruiter comes in. You find quality candidates fast and I'm going to give it to you for free. You can try it for free at zip recruiter dot com slash Joey. Whether you need to hire a cook and collar bosses,
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Starting point is 00:03:59 zip recruiter is the way to go. It saves your time, energy and effort. And you get to try for free just by going to zip recruiter dot com slash Joey zip recruiter, the smart way to hire. Let's get this party started. It's Wednesday. It's the last day of the month. And we got a lot to talk about. Hey, how you doing? Come on in. Yeah, Joey's in the back. Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Where you been? It's a beautiful Wednesday morning. It's the last day of the month. We fucking did it. Listen, I don't know about you. It was just fucking New Year's Eve. It was just December 31st.
Starting point is 00:05:32 You were running to your buddy's house. You had to park around the corner so the cops don't know you're at the friend's house. They couldn't have more than eight people. And look at this now. We're ending fucking March 31st. We're rolling into fucking April and we're rocking and rolling. We got a new look. Everybody's happy. Everybody's having a good fucking time. I had a weird week. Let me tell you what's going on. My daughter, listen, let me talk to you. People buy something from the heart, right? I never sat down and watched none. A couple years ago, I went over to a friend's house when I'm my friend. It's my father-in-law and he was watching Girl Softball. He's 70 years old. I'm like, this is the creepiest fucking thing in the world. You're watching Girl Softball.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Who watches fucking Girl Softball? I got nothing against girls and I got nothing against Softball. But when you're a guy my age, you just don't watch Girl Softball. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you're like, what the fuck is this? So now my daughter gets into Softball, right? So I'm like, you know, I got to sit there during the practices. And I'm sitting there looking, and I feel like Johnny Petafile. It's all a bunch of moms. And it's me in the fucking, on the bleacher by myself. You know, all I need is a rainjack and the copper pullover. And I feel like that. So the first week I felt like, shit, I'm like, I got to figure something out because I never really watched. In 2006, when I was still doing
Starting point is 00:06:52 coke, I went to see my niece play. My niece was a great basketball player. And I went to see her play in Tennessee. And that was a girl's high school game. And I had a good time. But I really didn't think about it. But now with all the shit that's going on, you know, you feel fucking guilty watching anything. You know, so I'm watching this. Last week, I'm watching the girls practice. They're all eight years old. And I'm like, look at the moms. They're looking, even though I'm sitting there, my wife is next to me. I'm like, they're looking at me like, I'm a fucking Petafile and shit, watching girls fucking softball. I left there walking like fuck, any minute now, the cops are going to put the handcuffs on me. Then I went to the second practice and there was another dad there.
Starting point is 00:07:30 So I didn't feel that bad. But again, I felt a little creepy. But then I'm a 60 minute guy. So I watched 60 minutes on Sunday night. And if you watch 60 minutes, it was about an old guy that fucking is in the writers hall of fame. This guy wrote a book about Muhammad Ali. He fucking interviewed Muhammad Ali. I don't know how many fucking times he wrote. He wrote a book about his relationship with Ali and cosel. He's just a great writer wrote articles of sports illustrated a couple of weeks ago, when Tiger Woods got into the accent, they went out to him for him to write the article. And when as he got older and got into retirement, he started going, I guess his granddaughter or somebody played for basketball, girls basketball. So he started going all these
Starting point is 00:08:12 girls basketball games. And he said, what am I doing myself? I should start writing about him. So he created like a column about the girls basketball team and what they were going through, just to give the girls light and whatnot. And I tell you, when I watched that, it made me feel a little bit better. Like I'm like, all right, I'm not a fucking Petafile sitting over here watching these fucking girls fucking do their thing. So yeah. So now I feel a lot more fucking comfortable, you know, at the games and not well, they haven't played yet, but they're still like in practice to have a clinic today. They got a clinic tomorrow, which I'm going to go to today. I can go obviously I'm here with you cocksuckers. But thank you very much for sticking
Starting point is 00:08:55 it out with me over the last couple of months. I have a great habit. God bless me with something good. I like to check them with my friends. I love to check in with them and see how they're doing. And especially during this pandemic, what I did was I made a list of my single friends and I would call them first to let them know I had that back. And then I would call my married friends, but I would call my comic friends and just to see how they were doing, you know, I'm married. I have a support system here. I have great friends. I have great family members in Jersey. A lot of guys stayed in LA. A lot of guys moved. And I know the guys that moved are confused as much as I am, you know, they're getting adjusted to new areas. But it was funny. While I was talking to these
Starting point is 00:09:42 guys on the phone, I was going, these fucking phone calls, a podcast. These are podcasts. These are decisions that we're not promoting an album. We're not promoting a CD. We're not promoting dates. We're just having phone calls about our deepest, most intimate fucking things here, like what we're going through. This is a podcast. So this is why I started reaching out to all my comedy buddies just to check in. I'm happy you guys are enjoying it and I'm happy you guys are feeling it because you could feel that we actually missed each other like these guys and I were tight. We were all tight at one time. We would see each other once or twice a week. We would give advice to each other on different comedy clubs or whatever. And then one day the carpet got pulled
Starting point is 00:10:31 from us. So I figured these conversations that I have on the phone could be great podcasts. And that's where zoom came in. And I'm happy you guys are enjoying it. And the zooms are so special. Like I hate to explain this to people and I hate coming off like this. But if you're not, if you don't have a prior relationship with somebody, I feel the zooms don't come off right. And I've done four zooms since I've been here and three out of the four of them were shitty. And one person I actually knew, the other two podcasts I did, I kind of knew the people, but not really. And the zoom didn't work with the zooms I'm giving you. It's people that I actually love and I have a relationship with. And that's why they seem to work and I haven't seen them.
Starting point is 00:11:21 So you're listening to not an interview like in a regular podcast. You're listening to an extended phone call of two old friends not seeing each other for seven months. Today we have another extended phone call. He's a dear friend of mine. I met him when I got off the plane in LA when he was at his hottest as an actor. And his mom introduced him to me at the improv. And I never forgot how much of a gentleman he was to me at that time. And then years later, we reconnected through standup and we became friends. And I love him to death as crazy as he is. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Michael Rappaport. Enjoy cockzuckers. What's happened, you bad motherfucker? Are we rolling, Joey? We're rolling, Jack. What's happening? Everything is good. Hold on. I want to
Starting point is 00:12:13 make sure everything is good. I got the good mic out for you, Joe. I'm not playing games here with these fucking guys. Good, good, good. I'm happy. Great to see you. Good to see you, Joe. Bless you. What is happening? Shit, man. I mean, there's a lot of nothing. I'm in Los Angeles. I'll give you a Joey Coco Diaz exclusive because I haven't I haven't said this publicly. But I'm actually moving back to New York in May. I've always had a place in New York. I've kept a place in New York through my bicoast on this. But it more so than moving back to New York. I don't have a place in Los Angeles for the first time since, you know, my $325 apartment, which then I moved into when I started doing the movie True Romance, because I thought I was rich. I moved into an
Starting point is 00:13:07 $850 a month apartment. And then, you know, then, you know, progressively, you know, moved up. But when I came to Los Angeles in 1989, I was 19, I was living in this apartment. Did you ever live in the apartment or hear about the the the comedians apartment over there on Carlton Way in Hollywood? No. It was it was it was a trip because I mean, I was literally 19 years old. You think about how fucking stupid you are when you were 19? But I lived in this $325 a month studio apartment. It was nice. It was clean. The building was clean. But you know, it was a fucked up neighborhood over there on Carlton Way off a gower, right in Hollywood. And a bunch of comedians lived there, a bunch of different comedians came in and out of there throughout the years. And
Starting point is 00:13:56 but yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, giving up my crib here in LA, and I'll be, you know, for the first time, not have any crib in in in Los Angeles, you know, and, you know, and I'll be in New York, I don't know what I'm going to do. I might wind up getting another place here. I might wind up getting a place out by you. I might become your neighbor. But I'm excited about it. And, you know, to be honest with you, when you called me, I can't remember when, but it was, you know, in the fucking pandemic. And I was talking to you. And you were like, I moved, I moved to Jersey. I think I had heard it, but I don't think I was sure because, you know, you start hearing this one's moving, that one's moving, but I was like, you know, that conversation definitely was, you
Starting point is 00:14:40 know, we were already sort of set to do it. But when you told me I'm out, I'm in fucking Jersey, I was like, I had told my wife, and she was like, fuck, Joey left. And I was like, yeah, fucking Coco Diaz went back fucking to Jersey. So, you know, you know, a lot of people that come to LA, they go, I hate LA. I don't hate LA. I like a lot of things about LA. And like I said, I'm an actor. There's always going to be part of the fucking year where I'm out here, doing something. And, and, you know, I wouldn't be mad if I came back out here, you know, for work or whatever. But for right now, I'm just not happy where I live in LA. And, you know, and we've been wanting to move, you know, full time to New York. And, you know, when we go to
Starting point is 00:15:29 New York, we've been trying to do it for the last two years, but just, you have to do it to do it. So we're kind of doing it backwards, but I'm excited about it. So that's a Coco Diaz exclusive. You sell the house already? Done. How fast? Less than less than 24 hours. How fucking crazy is that? Yo, how crazy is that? We said we were going to sell the house. We had the fucking photographer come over. The guy with the drone come over the next morning. Before it was listed. The broker told another broker, you know, they all know each other. They said, we want to have somebody come over at 10am. I was like 10am. All right, fine. They said, all right, you know, they'll be over for half hour. These motherfuckers were there for two hours, which means they're
Starting point is 00:16:19 somewhat interested. I mean, it's a fucking house. Two hours. Not like I live on some palatial estate with, you know, mountains and shit. They said they're interested. They said, can they come back at three o'clock? I said, all right, they come back at fucking three o'clock. You know, they better be doing something. They said, no, they're really interested. They came back at three o'clock. You know, they said, it's going to be an hour. I call them. I said, they done. They go, no, they're still here. So me and my wife are driving around. You can't go to eat. So we could we normally we'd go to eat. This was like when shit was closed. I call a guy. Yo, can we come back? Can you give us another half? We're driving around fucking Laurel Canyon. We
Starting point is 00:16:58 go up to look out mountain. We're trying to make out with my wife and the hills up there. Two and a half hours we come back. They go, they're really interested. I go, listen, these motherfuckers displaced me for six fucking hours in one day. They better fucking do something. They made an offer before the house went on the market. Boom. I was shocked. Yeah, that's how fast it's going. So the the the photos and the fucking the drone shit was I mean, it went that quick. And then you're like, oh, shit, you have that moment where like, oh, shit, you know, and the offer was great and the money was great. And it was the first person. And and you know, and boom, we're done. We're getting the fuck out of here. And I'm excited
Starting point is 00:17:39 about it. And like I said, I'm not one of these New Yorkers is like LA sucks anybody from New York, Jersey. How could you think LA sucks? You might think the people sucks. The weather's ridiculous. You know, the beach is great. There's great food. I mean, there's a lot of things that suck about LA. And to be honest with you, since those fucking riots last year, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sunset, Beverly Third, all of in the area in the Laugh Factory improv area, I guess that's LA Hollywood-ish. It's a it's like a fucking bomb went off. It's starting to get a little better. But that, um, you know, my area, not my actuals, my area. And you know, we've had homeless cocksuckers, no disrespect, but you know, I had homeless cocksuckers across the street from my house.
Starting point is 00:18:33 And they were harassing neighbors. And one of these motherfuckers was was there was a neighbor from around the corner, they got into a little argument or something. One of these cocksuckers, Joey, this woman, she pulled her pants down and shat in her hands and threw it at my neighbor. I said, if that had been my fucking wife and this animal threw shit at my wife. So I took all the, because what they've been doing in Los Angeles, and listen, people are this, that, whatever, what they've been doing is they know the rules and all that stuff. So the next day I took, cause so they were, they were in a place where the cops couldn't tell them to move cause they know how to park their shit on the street. And, and, and I,
Starting point is 00:19:16 I took their shit. I took a fucking stick. I took all their shit after they threw the woman shitting in her hands and threw shit at the neighbor. I took all their, their shit. I threw it in the fucking street. Then I called the cops cause they were blocking traffic. Cause these cocksuckers are blocking traffic and they got the fuck out of there. But when, when, when you throw shit at people, it's time to go. You can't be throwing human shitted people, Joe. I don't know what happened and you just blew me away. You're a, you're the last of the real New Yorkers and you saw it. You saw what I saw. Like I just saw something that was not beautiful anymore. It was going to be problematic somewhere along the line. I'm too old to be
Starting point is 00:20:05 carrying a fucking gun. Right. You know, I'm too old. My, my Charles Bronson days are over with it. Right. Uh, it was just a scary place. Right. You know, the kids, you have grown up kids, your kids have grown college. I have an eight year old. The park is bombarded with homeless and again, you know, it's mental health and whatnot, but it was just time to go. I had done my 23 years. You've been there 10 years longer than me. You're there 30 something years. You know, you did everything you could there now. And now it's time to move back to fucking New York and shoeing your wife moving to New York. Me and my wife, my kids are one of my kids is actually in New York college. The other ones here. But yeah, I mean, you know, I'm getting the fuck out of
Starting point is 00:20:55 here. I'm excited about it. You know, my kids are fine. They love New York. They come back before that's, you know, and they're older. So they travel by themselves. Hopefully, you know, they could continue a, you know, the, you know, with the health and all that shit. But yeah, they were getting the fuck out of here. You know, and I'm excited about it. You know, it's like, you know, we talk about changing and packing. I'm sure you went through it, you know, the fucking packing and the moving and the boxing. There's a great thing about moving when you're done with it. Because one thing that I've, we haven't even officially moved yet, but getting rid of the amount of shit. Oh my God. Are you, are you like, have you,
Starting point is 00:21:36 you must accumulate all sorts of shit. You have no fucking idea. And you have to make the hard decisions and go, do I need this fucking, it's gonna go picture. Do I need every goddamn fucking photo, every goddamn book, every chotsky, every piece of fucking, every cord, every fucking wire. I haven't worn this sweatshirt in a year. Oh, I like it. Bye. I've been at, I was just at the, when I hit you this morning, I was at the Goodwill. They know my fucking name there. It's like, cheers for me. In the last month, I'm like fucking, I'm like Woody Harrelson. And when I left, the Goodwill was closed. What'd you do with all your shit? I just dropped it off in front of Goodwill. Oh, right. I kept dropping off bags. I took the books to a fucking place by my daughter's
Starting point is 00:22:27 school. They had a school thing. I put books in there and growing weed. I put books of fucking Russian rules of life. There was books that I had that I had read 15 fucking years ago. Why do we keep this shit? Because it's not that I'm not a hoarder by no means. Trust me when I'm telling you, you put stuff away and you, you know, you get off the, you go, then you become a comedian and then you do a podcast and you get things sent to you by sponsors. People who think they're going to come on the show and then they look at your show and they'll, you know, I threw away, there was two closets, Michael Rappaport. You could not believe what was in there. I mean, from fucking guitar speakers to fucking micro wallets. How many fucking speakers
Starting point is 00:23:19 does one person need? How many mini speakers, mid-sized speakers? Oh my God. I had pictures, you know, people on the road are very generous. I love them to death. I find I found something that has to be a collector's item that's got to be worth thousands. Somebody gave me a honey moona's dish. The honey moona's a Ralph with the sweater dancing, the huckle buff. I just found that last week. I got to bring it down here. You know, you find shit that you don't even remember you have. We threw away boxes, boxes of stuff. It's good. It's liberating and it gives me a lesson. Going forward, I'm not keeping any fucking. No, now people are like, do you have a P.O. box? No, I have nothing. Don't send me anything. I don't send anything because I've got our
Starting point is 00:24:10 shed out there still. I don't need it. If you're gonna send me another black t-shirt, don't send it, please. I don't want your fucking black t-shirt. Oh my God. I don't want your fucking you're starting an underwear line. You got boxer shorts with a picture of Bugs Bunny or fucking Donald Duck or me or you I don't want any of it. I don't want the boxes. I don't want your fucking scented candles that are organic that comes from the the honey of a B that I don't want any of this fucking shit. I don't want your experimental toothpaste. I mean, I know it was it was ridiculous what I had in that clock. I had a company started sending me jujitsu geez because I'm a fat fuck and they were for oversized fat fucks. They would send me two geez a week.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Why? I had I only went to jujitsu twice a week and I had 30 fucking geez. For what? From this company. One company was great. This other company. What do they think that you or any person wants that many geez for? I had to go to three different jujitsu school and go here you go. Next time a fat fuck joins up, don't charge them for it. And even then they didn't want all the fucking geez. They were like what are we gonna do with this? I had fucking those things those sweatshirts that you wear underneath. I had fucking stuff vitamins, minerals, CBD oils. I had rocks. I had it was like no, that's it. And it was just we couldn't get a dumpster. No, nothing. When we left in August, I couldn't get anything. We found out we found out July 12. We found out this is this was
Starting point is 00:25:52 our journey. We found out July 12 that there was no school. I told my wife let's make a move. I we called a person. He said he could probably help us. He didn't know. I called Jimmy Florentine. He hooked me up with his sister-in-law. We put an offer in on one house. It went. We saw this house. And right away we wrote her a letter. We seen the inside. I sent my brother down here. Oh, wait, you you you you sent your brother. You didn't physically see it yourself. No, wow. But you had somebody check it and you saw the my brother's a house inspector up north. That's what he said. This is what it's like. And he's showing you pictures and all that. He came down here with a fucking zoom. We zoomed everything. He inspected the gates, the dirt, the trees,
Starting point is 00:26:44 everything. He goes, go. We put an offer in. We wrote her a letter. And I knew when my wife fucking walked in the door, just a look on her face. I knew we had the house. Dope. We probably had the house 10 days later. And we started throwing shit out. Fucking right away. And it was mind boggling. Yeah, it's good. But the thing was like a lot of people don't know this. When I came back to shoot the Sopranos, I made up my mind that I was moving back. It was when I was going to pull the trigger. I knew she wasn't going to start the second grade in California. Right. COVID just helped the process move along. Right. And that was the truth. I was moving all along. I knew when I after I came back here to shoot that movie and I spent three weeks,
Starting point is 00:27:33 I said to myself, what the fuck am I doing? I'm out there alone. I have no family out here. We spend Christmases alone. We spend New Year's alone. You know, I'm working with comics. I want a normal life. I just want to live in a community where I could drive and get a fucking salami sandwich. And people don't talk about Instagram all day. And, you know, how many fucking can you come on my part? It was just it was so overwhelming. And I didn't know it till I got off the fucking plane and I landed here. Are you so you love your house and you've been there like shit, what nine months? I've been here. It'll be officially eight months, April 19. So how do you feel being back in Jersey? Like, you know, with a dope crib that you're happy with,
Starting point is 00:28:21 you know, like, how does it feel at this point in your life being back? What part of Jersey? Can you say what part of Jersey? South Jersey, South Jersey, 50 minutes away from New York City. So how does it feel so far? How does it feel so far? It took me about two months to realize what I had done. This has been like in layers. Like it's been like really a mental fucking away. It's been like layers. Like it was two months of greatness. Then it was two months of doubt. You have doubt that I make the right mistake. That I make a mistake. You know, for me, it was about my daughter and my wife. Oh, you made the right decision for them. Yeah, it wasn't a comedy career.
Starting point is 00:29:02 No, for them, it's great. No, because for them, it's great. Listen, they're out right now. My daughter and my wife are out right now with three other moms. They're at a fucking rock climbing place. You know, Friday, they went to Long Branch just to get pizza and they went, you know, they got a group of moms here that give a fuck. You know, they try closing the schools here. Good luck. These fucking parents said everything they could to those fucking board of education people. I mean, I listened to it on Zoom and I couldn't believe what they were saying. Were they going off? Going off. You're not going to keep these motherfucking parents. Where I live, it's 74% of people in this town have two kids on their 18 living in their house.
Starting point is 00:29:50 So it's a very family oriented community. My wife said one night, you have to hear the Zoom meeting. They went after the superintendent of schools. They were like, fuck you. Were they calling them a cocksucker? Oh my God. They were like, you're just worried about your contract. If this continues, we'll veto it. We'll shut you down. We'll shut you down, you miserable motherfucker. In LA, the parents didn't do dick. Like it was like they accepted it. That's it. We're going to just lay down over here. These fucking parents, oh my God, every fucking day they send an emails, they call my wife to send an email. They got the principal, the vice principal, the state, all this area down South Jersey, the schools are wide open, wide open, five days a week,
Starting point is 00:30:37 four days a week, one day virtual. It's up North where everything's still shut. My hometown, they're not even thinking about going back to school. They might go back towards the end of fucking April. There's going to be some dumb fucking kids, Joey. Let me tell you something. These fuck, there's kids that last year that got passed that you know, shouldn't have passed. There's kids that are graduating that are like a year and a half. I mean, I think about like, you know, I see these things on Zoom classes. If I was a student on Zoom, first of all, they'd kick me. They'd be like, you're not, after two days, they'd be like, where you got to do something. They'd kick me out. But I would run these fucking teachers into the ground. And in the way I was,
Starting point is 00:31:27 the fucking disruptive fucking pain in the ass, I would be, I'd make these miserable fucking teachers. If I was a student, I'd have them, they wouldn't sleep if they had me during a pandemic as a kid. I was a fucking pain in the fucking ass. But I didn't want to be there anyway. Is Zoom class? Pfft. Come on, man. They're passing fucking people that have no business being passed because what are they going to do? Leave behind 12 kids, like C and D students. They're like, just, I don't want to deal with them again. Because if you hold them back, you got to deal with these little fucks. So it's, it's good. It's going to be, it's going to be a fallout from this shit. And then in 10 years, these kids are going to be like, well, the trauma from the pandemic,
Starting point is 00:32:15 because I had to take Zoom class and it was so traumatic to fuck out of here with that bullshit. Oh, AA meetings are going to be packed with these Zoom kids. These fucking Zoomers are going to be in there fucking. The Zoom generation. I drink because of Zoom, you know, fucking, I can't see a Zoom, nothing. His last name starts with a Z. So I get flagged. I relapsed. The Zoom generation. Let me tell you something. I saw what was happening to my daughter. I'm not a fucking scholar. I'm not a psychiatrist. The parents were, you know, we were at the beginning of the pandemic and nobody knew what to think. And there was a certain fear. They told you kids won't have it. Let's meet at the park, we'll social distance, let the kids play with mask on. You couldn't get parents to do that.
Starting point is 00:33:01 And I could see my little girl going backwards. And when we got here and started, they told us that she was having a little problem. And then they went back on Thanksgiving. You know, school started here, September 4th, like nothing happened. Right. And then in November is when they shut us down. A teacher got it and these fucking parents went to work, Jack. They were like, fuck you. We'll put them in a fucking Catholic school because Catholic schools are wide open. See, COVID don't attack Catholic people. Why not? I don't know. The Catholic schools are wide open. They got no mask on. Nuns are fucking shaking their titties. Everything's fine in the Catholic schools. The public schools are fucking locked the fuck down. So how can, you know, Christian
Starting point is 00:33:47 brothers, I think is closed down a couple of schools, but the trauma that's going to be done to those California kids and kids across the country. One year of no social activity fucked up here. I send my door. If it's sunny, you better get the fuck out of this house and talk to kids. I there's a guy across the street from Staten Island. He's got two kids. I got the Hindus next door. I got the cops on down the corner. The Hindus don't go out. It hit India so hard that the Indian kids in the area and the Asian kids do not go to school here. Wow. I mean, these kids do not even leave their house. They don't fuck around, huh? No, my friend has an Indian family next to him. He says, I guess who I saw the other day. The Indians finally came out.
Starting point is 00:34:32 I haven't seen him since November because it hit India so hard that they got news over here. How bad it was. And they're fucking petrified. Are you, are you, um, have you been doing comedy yet? Have you started doing it? Like, what's your deal with doing comedy and doing shows and moving around? Are you doing local shit? What are you doing? Here it is. First of all, I have guilt. I have guilt that if I do a 300 seat show and somebody brings it home, I got to live with their fucking grandmother's debt or grandmother getting sick on my debt. Number two, I got to be honest with you, Michael Rappaport, you saw what was going on at the store. You saw we were living as comics. I had been doing it since that, like that steady since 2010. It's time for a fucking breather.
Starting point is 00:35:21 You need a break. Everybody needed a break. Good. We were all caught on the Ferris wheel. What's Netflix going to do? What Netflix isn't going to do? Showtime. You got to get there Thursday. They added an extra show. I mean, listen, we did things that I'm very proud of, but we, I think a lot of people stepped back now and they're going, hmm, I think we were going a little bit too hard. For me to answer your question, I had been doing stand up to about 10 days ago and there was a situation. I do it at Uncle Vinny's down in Point Pleasant, fucking great club. Dino's a great guy. If you're ever in the area, call them up and do the weekend. That's an easy weekend. The problem I had was the one
Starting point is 00:36:06 week a customer went in there and had COVID. So they closed it down. They were panicked. And then another week. And then I just put it in God's hands. I had knee research. I got a new knee January 8th. I got a new like bionic knee. Yeah. Like I got a fucking whole new knee. Like I got a whole new when did it? I couldn't do it in the fucking pain no more. And I don't know where the fuck we were going with this. No, you were saying about the shows about the shows. I did the surgery January 8th. I worked hard. Rappaport. I got off the pain pills. I went to PT. I fucking started lifting in mid-February. I started walking without the thing. I did everything perfect. No problems at all. The knee came along fine. And all of a sudden,
Starting point is 00:36:55 about 10 days ago, I'm getting a swelling on the side of my knee. I don't know what it is. It's not my knee. It's something on the side. And when I went for my checkup, I kept calling the doctor going, I need muscle relaxers. I'm getting like a big lump on the side and he must relax. Fucking guy wouldn't give it to me. Like I'm going to go snort muscle relaxers or some shit. I can see if I was axing, axing, axing him for oxycodone or pain pills. I was just axing him for like muscle relaxers. And that's like a 1200 milligram fucking a leaf. One of those. Oh, yeah, the higher the high aspirin. He wouldn't fucking give him to me. So he goes, no, come back for an appointment. I went down. They did an x-ray and then the
Starting point is 00:37:39 chick said, no, there is something wrong. Let me do an x-ray from a different angle. And they found that the IT muscle, something had like a little tear and whatever. So they just Oh shit. But you know what? I'm walking all right. I'm fine. What I'm going to do is this. I got sick and tired of taking COVID tests every other fucking week, three tests, you got to take the rapid to fucking one and then one five days later. Yeah, I'm done. The other night I stayed up and I put my name on 20 lists for the Johnson and Johnson. So I'm just waiting for the call. He just announced 55 Verova, New Jersey. You're allowed. So I put in for Johnson and Johnson. Why Johnson, the one shot? Yeah, I'm scared of fucking needles.
Starting point is 00:38:23 So are you? Yeah, big time. Big time. I faint. Take a little poke. One poke. You'll be fine. They give you a little poke. Last time in the ass. I don't have a problem with needles. Last time I got a needle in the ass. I fainted at the fucking table. One of those fucking stupid fucking shots. When I give blood, I get dizzy. My palms start sweating like yeah. It's mental, right? Yeah, it's all mental. I do not like it. You could tell if I'm going for a needle. If I tell you, as soon as they call me and go, you have a shot next Tuesday at 1245. Come over here on Monday and watch me all day. I'm a bumbling, stumbling fucking jerk off. I bump into things. I'm scared. Excessive pissing. It just fucks with my insides. I just don't like needles. I'm going to do this because
Starting point is 00:39:11 I want to do comedy eventually. I want to go back into big rooms and do comedy. I don't want to get COVID because I perform for 41 fucking people. If I'm going to perform, let's fucking perform. Let's do it for 100 fucking people. So let me do this. Let me take some time off. I just got back to Jersey. It's been 30 years since I've been down to Jersey Shore. I signed her up for camp. I'm going to go to different fucking shores every week and explore. I'm 58 years old and I did a complete fucking circle and I'm back here. I left here a fucking bit thief. I left here a two-bit fucking thief, you know, homeless. The only option I had when I left here was prison. I ended up in prison.
Starting point is 00:40:02 I turned my life around. I moved to LA. Things happened the way they did. I don't control them. And at one point I was like, I think I shot, after I shot the Netflix special, I was done in 2016. I was like, what is this all about? It's time. And then I got the soprano movie and I got to spend three weeks here. When the fuck is that thing coming out? September 24th. They had to. I'm not mad at them. You cannot be, you're in the movie business. There's a big investment. You got to get your money back. The movies they did release. And it's ever green anyway. It doesn't change. It's not like it's. So what we're going to do is this. We're going to fucking, you figure by July 1st, you know, 50% of us will be vaccinated. The other half. So
Starting point is 00:40:50 hopefully I think by July, August, we open up movie theaters. Right. And we could all see movies the way they're supposed to be seen. Right. You know, I saw the new Jared Leto movie with Denzel Washington. Yeah. I thought it was men's immortal on TV because I watched it on TV. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The effect of a movie theater is fucking huge on a movie. Yeah. People have no idea. I I know the difference when I watch a movie at home, when I watch a movie in a movie theater, when I watch a movie on a plane. Yeah, it's different. When I watch a movie at home, you're in no danger. I'm looking at the wall. I'm looking at my toes. I'm sniffing my armpits. I'm scratching my nuts. When I'm at the movie theater, I'm there. You know, you're there.
Starting point is 00:41:33 You're feeling it. Your speakers. So I think they were going to release it March 14th. I think David Chase said, what am I going to do? I want to release it at home. I worked hard on this. Let them wait. Nobody's I'm not pissed. Me neither. I want people to watch the shit the right way. Yeah. Yeah. It's like stand up. I want people to be in a room that they're happy to be in. Yeah. You know, I'm not fucking scared to death. Let me put this one. Have you done any of these? You know, it's been good in Los Angeles. I'll tell you one thing that's been fucking great. These little mini outdoor shows. They're tremendous. And they're tremendous here. Thank God. When I got here, they were just perfecting
Starting point is 00:42:14 them now. They got it down now. They really got it down and they're going to just do outdoor venues. Tons of them here. Yeah. Like I said, Mike, I want to give this a breather. I want to fall in love with comedy again all over again. I want to fall in love with it like I was in 1998. You know, I think the numbers and selling tickets and everything got in the way of what was just a hobby for me. I got you. It was something that was supposed to be fun. And now it wasn't fun anymore. It gets too much of a grind and they sell out and all this shit. They sell out who the fuck. No, they took this money for this. You know what? It was 10 years straight. I'm very happy about my accomplishments. I was not supposed to be here. I was supposed to
Starting point is 00:43:00 go to prison and get caught up in the prison system. Someway God twisted that. I'll take it and I'll fucking leave. And when I want to come back, if it's a year, if it's six months, the door is always open. Good for you. Good. Hey, did you see speaking of prison system? Did you see this shit yesterday in Oklahoma City, this prison ride in Oklahoma City? No. Holy fuck. Uh, yo, they had these fucking, they took over the fucking prison. They had this guy, one of the CEOs, they had him fucking, it was on video. They had, um, they had the fucking guy strung up. They were going nuts. And then apparently the cops came in, they shot one of the people and it was, you got to see this. Look up Oklahoma City prison.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Shit. It was Michael. People that are free are going crazy. There's people that are not in prison. And mental health is at an all time high. Could you imagine just for two minutes, anybody who's listening to this podcast or watching, close your eyes, close your eyes and let me and Joey take you into jail real quick and think of being in prison. Think of being in prison and right now and just, just think them out the fucking talk. Walk them through the cell, Joe. They're in the cell or we're getting to the cell. Walk them through. Listen, they probably got to wear a mask if they got another guy in the cell with them. And you're in the cell with a guy from Oklahoma City. You know, when he shits, you smell it. And he, he, he shits good. You got to smell
Starting point is 00:44:35 that good shit that he's shitting. How many prisoners aren't getting money sent in because their families are not working and they're suffering in there. So now they, and listen, they got to prison, fuck them. They made a mistaken life and now they got to deal with it. And I understand that I was there when I was in prison. Nobody fucking felt sorry for me, but I'm telling you right now that if you think people are going off and they're just walking the streets, think of what inmates are going through. Right. They're probably not letting them watch TV in a, in a, in a circle no more. They probably got to watch TV in their fucking cells. God knows. I don't know. I don't know. It's been 30 years since I was in a fucking prison cell.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Thank God. But I can't imagine what it's like in there. More prisoners should be fucking. This is not the first prison thing you're going to hear about this year. So don't think this is, you know, prison's got to be going crazy. But here's the funny thing. Here in New Jersey, every prisoner got vaccinated. They got vaccinated before school teachers. There are guys doing life in prison, in state prison here in Raleigh, and they got vaccinated before teachers. Joey, are you fucking serious? I'm being dead serious. You're not to pick a fucking scab or anything. But this is the reality of this pandemic. These are the things that are happening. You cannot put your finger on it. All you could do every day is wake up, look at your computer,
Starting point is 00:46:05 and go, God help me before I open this computer to see what the fuck I'm going to read today. Is it Suzanne Somersd having sex three times a day before lunchtime? Or is it fucking some fucking guy went into a supermarket and shot 10 people? Is it going to be a lady through shit at a human being? What are we doing in a piece of shit like that? You know, they're not even pieces of shit. It's mental health. This is destroying kids. I know, I know kids that went from having AIDS that are fucking not even opening up the fucking computer in Florida. This is, you know, we look at each other. I look at Mike, I look at you. And I said, I look at Florence, you know, look at these people and I go, we don't really know what the struggle is right now. We don't know
Starting point is 00:46:51 what it is. What if right now you were living in LA, you lost your job, you're a decent person, and you're living in your car. There's a lot of guys like you and me, Mike, that were actors that are living in their fucking cars right now, going to a place that lets them take a shower once a day, go to all your parks. It's just not, when you look at the homeless situation in LA, 50% of it is mental health, bro. They light their skin on fire. They do all that crazy shit. I'll tell you what, right now in the next fucking year, the number from these eviction shits and all this, that people getting evicted. I read a story the other day. Here's the best thing I read Thursday, Thursday or Friday. I read a family in California sold their house in Riverside.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Are you ready for this? Go ahead. They sold their house in Riverside. The people paid for the house. Now they refuse to leave the house and they're protected through the loophole, through the eviction moratorium. I heard about this. Did you hear about this? Yes. These people now have to sue these people to move into a house that they paid for because there's a loophole in the fucking system that lets them stay in the house even though the people paid them for the fucking money. They paid them. They paid the people that are now not leaving. Right. And the people are fucking going to stay in the fucking house. And now the people that bought that house fucking have to take them to court. So you made my fucking day and I'm not, again,
Starting point is 00:48:30 I'm not one of those, you never heard me go, I fucking hate that lady. There's no bagels. The fucking pizza. I was never one of those New Yorkers. I was never one of those New Yorkers. Right. The fucking debate. I miss the fucking bagels. You should stay. You should be happier away from New York to fat fuck off the bagels and the pizza and the donuts. No one wants to hear. They got great bagels in LA. They got everything you fucking need out here. They got nothing. I've never been one of those guys, but I will tell you that I did see the tide change in people in LA. If you don't think when, if you don't think when Lady Gaga's dog Walker got shot, that didn't bother me. I come from a place that nothing bothers me. Like,
Starting point is 00:49:11 I don't give a fuck. Why did it bother you? Because I walked those streets. I walked those streets thousands of times. I walked those streets. I walked from, you know, many times I walked from Schrader to the comedy store to in the fucking morning. How many times I walked up Sierra Bonita to go to run. I got you. I walked those streets. I seem to feel that somebody got shot walking a fucking dog in LA and they took three dogs and it breaks my heart. I'm hearing things that are happening in the valley. I hear North Hollywood goes off once it gets dark, you know. Yo, Joe, these cocksuckers, the other night, I'm not exaggerating. There was a chase in my neighborhood. I live in Hancock Park, which is a good neighborhood. Very good neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:50:00 These cocksuckers were chasing this motherfucker for five hours in my neighborhood. Up my street, down the street, up La Brea, Detroit. Finally, this motherfucker, he in a U-Haul, five hours from one to six in the morning. I'm not exaggerating. Helicopters over my house, the fucking house. My wife said, you slept through three and a half hours of it because I knew if I looked at my phone, I would. I had to go to work in the morning. I knew if I got up and looked at my phone, I was just like, just go to sleep, just go to sleep, just go back to sleep. This cocksucker wouldn't come out of a U-Haul. He stole a U-Haul. Five fucking hours of the fucking helicopters and all this shit. Finally, this prick comes out. They
Starting point is 00:50:44 arrested this dumb fuck. I don't need this in my life. I got to get fucking sleep. I got to get up at fucking six in the morning. I'm shooting a fucking show. I don't want you riding up and down my street with the cops in the U-Haul. Who needs that shit? This is supposed to be like this pristine place. I don't need that. Let me tell you something. I don't know how to put this. I'm like being here for two weeks and looking at my wife and going, I don't feel like Henry Hill no more. I don't hear helicopters every day because every day I was hearing fucking helicopters. I felt like Henry Hill. Everywhere I went, there was a fucking helicopter. I have not heard a helicopter in seven or eight months. Mike, I got to be honest with you. You made my day by telling me,
Starting point is 00:51:33 I don't want people to leave LA for the wrong reason. I think, and for you, I don't know where your head is at. I don't know if there's any doubt or anything. Brother, you did everything there was to do in LA. I come back. We're doing a podcast over Zoom. You're in Jersey. I'm in LA. If they need me, I got work. I have no problem coming back. Who knows? I might wind up getting in a place in Los Angeles. I don't fucking know, but I don't need to be here. I need to be more in New York than in LA. Because of my kids, obviously, that's a big factor, but because they're older and because of all this shit with the pandemic, I'm like, I've done my fucking... There's too much technology. You don't need to be here all the time. I don't want to be here all the time.
Starting point is 00:52:25 I don't get anything from Los Angeles. I don't get any... Not to say that New York is perfect, or Jersey is perfect, or Philly's perfect, or any of these other places are perfect, but LA, it doesn't lend to me. The biggest thing that I miss about New York is going out and finding the day. In New York, you could go out and just find the day. You might stop in the park. You might stop here and get a slice. You might stop there and get a coffee. You might run into your friend. Yo, where are you going? I'm going down to 23rd. I'll walk with you. Oh, okay, cool. Oh, I'll meet up with my wife. We'll go do this. We'll go shopping. Just go. The museum's open. We'll go into the fucking museum. And then at the end,
Starting point is 00:53:11 like six, seven o'clock, you're like, I had no idea what I was going to do, but I found the fucking day. That's a perfect situation, but I just driving everywhere, the shit that we mentioned already. We're animals. Human beings are animals. You're from a certain climate and a certain habitat. We need to be in that habitat to survive. I prefer New York City. That's what I am. Manhattan. That's where I'm born and fucking raised. I prefer it. I love it. I adore it. I know the weather gets fucked up. What am I going to do? It's fine. So I'm excited about it. I'm happy about it. And so much good shit happens when you change. Obviously, what we did is extreme and not everybody could afford the luxury of making a change or being able to
Starting point is 00:54:04 change and all that stuff. And our lifestyles are different, but change is good. It's scary, but change is fucking good. And so many things before we haven't even gotten to New York, just from the changing it and the getting rid of all the old shit and the toothpaste and the fucking geese. But aside from that, so many positive things have already happened from this change that hasn't even occurred yet. So I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait. Why New York, Mike? Why didn't you... It's where I'm from, but why didn't you... I'm born and raised in Manhattan. I'm born and raised in Manhattan. I'm born and raised in Texas, Florida. We had so many options. What am I going to do in Texas? Maybe one day, maybe I will get a place in Florida. I
Starting point is 00:54:42 don't know, but what the fuck am I going to do in Texas? I know a lot of people went to Austin. I've been to Austin one time for three days. I don't know anything about Austin. What am I going to go there? Because a bunch of comics are going there. Joe Rogan, that's Joe Rogan. He's doing his shit, but I'm not... I'm 50 fucking one years old. I don't follow no man. I'm married. You know what I mean? What the fuck am I going to do for the young kids? That's cool. They might think that's dope. They don't have families and all that shit. But what the fuck am I going to do in fucking Texas? Oh, they got bars. There's our... What the... I'm going to New York City. We got every fucking thing. Everything. Every fucking thing. This is... You don't get any better.
Starting point is 00:55:27 So you're Austin. There's some town, Tulsa, Nashville. I'm going to New York. The fuck are you going to tell me about anything? It's New York. I don't care if it's Cuomo, Diplazio, Crimes Up, Crimes Down, the fucking subway's working. The subway's not a garbage. It's New York City. You're going home, brother. Fucking Manhattan. That's where I'm from. You're going home. No. Hey, listen. I had options. I thought about Telluride. I thought about Boulder. I thought about Austin. And I knew where I would be the happiest. I wanted my daughter to see what I saw growing up. Right. I am ecstatic when my daughter says she wants me to take her to White Castle. My fucking heart bleeds. Last night we got home and we got home last night at 10 to 9.
Starting point is 00:56:19 And I go, Mercy, don't even fucking blink. Go in the shower because we're going to miss the 930 honeymooners. Every Saturday we have a date. We watched the Archie Bunker and then we watched the Honeymooners. You know, she was ready to go. My wife got a second shot yesterday. So as soon as we got back, she went right to the fucking crib. I don't know how she's up and out today. She's doing, she took it to the fucking game zone. I did this because it was time to come home. Gotta come home and you'll be back in LA. LA ain't going anywhere. You got shit to do. LA's not going nowhere. I think I'll be in Austin in September. You got this job, that job. It's, you know, that I just, uh, I got a little acting agent in New York
Starting point is 00:57:03 to start getting me little acting gigs, you know, right? If you're fucking Joey Coco Diaz, if I don't want to do them, I don't do them. If I want to do them, I do them. And I'll tell you, you made my day because now I got somebody to visit when I go over there. Fuck you. We can go to an acting class together. We can slice a pizza together. Yep. Whatever. You just made my fucking week, man. Hey, uh, I'm telling you, when you called me, it was a Saturday. I think the fights were on her before the fight. I remember I was, and I was like, Oh, shit, this fucking, fucking Coco left. And my wife was like, he fucking left. I was like, fucking Coco, fucking left. And she was like, we need to get the fuck out of here. I swear to God.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I'm not bullshitting you. We were already thinking about it, but she was like, fucking, we, it was just kind of like, get the fuck out. I did. Like I said, it wasn't a comedy thing for me. It was, listen, I was coming no matter what, and the COVID fucked it up and they canceled the Soprano shoot and that stopped me from buying a house in Bergen County. I was going to move to Bergen County. I ended up moving down to Monmouth County, but I really wanted to go up closer to where I was from, but COVID had fucked that area up. So I was like, fuck it. I'll just move down south and I'm very happy I'm here and I'm very happy that you're getting the fuck out of there. And it's a tough decision. If you have any doubts, I'm sure you don't. You're a strong,
Starting point is 00:58:25 fucking minded dude. And you're going to do just great. This is, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Bro, you've been watching all of what you say you were born, you know, what Glenn Fry has that song, you belong in the city. Bro, I heard it the other night on one of the Miami Vice episodes. It's not 11 o'clock here. And I was like, you know what, this song hits them the head, man. You belong to the city and it's, you got to come back at some point. And I love New Yorkers. I've always loved New Yorkers and New Yorkers love me. I fucking adore New Yorkers. And there's not as many as there used to be, but I love motherfuckers that are from the five fucking boroughs. And we don't even, I run into mother, you get the same thing because
Starting point is 00:59:11 we have the same sort of people that, you know, in the East Coast that, that, that fuck with you. They talk, I'm like, a lot of times I'm like, do I know this fucking guy? Because they're just like, Mike Rapp, what's up? Did you watch a game last night? And I'm like, do I know, I'm talking to the guy. And then I'm like, I don't even know the fuck I'm talking to you. But New Yorkers know a New Yorker and I know a New Yorker. And I just, I love walking the streets of New York. I'm gonna fuck of its hot, cold, snowing, raining. I get honked at, I get fucking people screaming at me from across street, Mike Rapp. It's my father's there. He's 87. He hasn't gotten COVID. He fucked cold. Joey, my father fucked COVID in the asshole. He fucked COVID right up the ass. He's 87. He's a
Starting point is 00:59:56 Jewish dinosaur. He bent COVID over and banged COVID right up the ass. He's good. And what about moms? Great to Mark and Joanne Gray, everybody's and we're, we've been lucky so far. Well, man, I will be here waiting for you. You made my fucking week by telling me you're coming here in May. It's hard to believe that you're leaving LA, but you, that's it. You did what you had to do, man. And five fucks. And you made it happen. I'm fucking, I love you, Mike, you know, love you too. I'm happy you got that. I'm happy you made time for me today. Of course. And a happy Passover to you and your family. Thank you. And we'll talk when you fucking get that light, please. Anytime, Joe. As soon as you hit New York, just give me a call. I don't, I got you. You're gonna
Starting point is 01:00:41 be busy for three months unpacking. Trust me, these motherfuckers. But I got rid of a lot of shit though. I got, I was in two fucking bags full this morning at the, at the, at the Goodwill. Two fuck. They know me. They say, what's up? How you doing, Mike? More stuff? Yep. Two bags was the least of mine. And even the big black fucking garbage bag, the big fucks, not the little, not the little shit you use in the kitchen. I'm talking about the big, like you could put a hefty, hefty, hefty wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. You got the hefty, hefty, hefty. The big industrial size dog. I was, I threw away 20 of those books. I was taking clothes, karate clothes to different schools. I had protein powders. I had fucking watches. I had so much
Starting point is 01:01:27 shit. But listen, thank you for coming on the joint. I love you. Anything you need, you know, you can find me. Hopefully when you move, I can get on your podcast and just go over there. For sure. And we'll do a fucking studio gig or something. For sure. Thank you for coming on the joint. Love you, Coco. Coco fucking Diaz. Stay black, cocksucker. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Power. Happy Passover. All right. What'd you think, cocksuckers, right? When two old friends get together, it's just a conversation. It's not a podcast no more. This is what him and I would be saying to each other on the phone. I feel happy that he's leaving, you know, not because of, you know, I think LA crime went up 61%. I know that they cut a million dollars from their budget
Starting point is 01:02:13 and now they had to put another 40 million in because they're expecting a heavy duty fucking summer of, uh, marches and whatever the fuck they call them, peaceful parades and gatherings. But I think it was, you know, people changed. I mean, that was a, he's a hardcore actor. He has a lot, but way better credits than I do on it. It's time to change. And I call this in March that people are going to look at their lives and go, what the fuck am I doing here? For him, it was seeing some homeless lady throw a piece of shit. That's what I've always said. Once somebody throws a piece of shit, it's time to fucking pack up your bags and fucking leave. And with that, I will leave you until next fucking Monday. I hope you enjoyed the podcast this week.
Starting point is 01:02:56 I hope you're enjoying what I'm doing. I hope you enjoy the growth. It hasn't just been me. Mike has been fucking 90% of this with the sound and the lights and we're really fucking trying for you guys to put something together, what we got. We didn't have all the tools when we started and we could give you, I still remember when we did the rich boss podcast and they were fucking hot of us and shit. And I loved it because, uh, it just goes to show you that you got to try things. If not, you're never going to know where they're going to go. You got to try and sometimes you fall on your ass and sometimes you do good, but you're never going to know till you try. I love you cocksuckers. Thank you for listening and now for a word from my mother fucking sponsors,
Starting point is 01:03:37 Jack. All right, you bad motherfuckers. Thank you very much for listening. I want to thank Michael Rappaport. I want to thank you guys. I also want to thank life for being beautiful, but before we get the hell out of here, I want to talk to you about something. Listen, uh, for years, I didn't sleep when I got up to 418 pounds. I was sleeping maybe four hours a night. You could jump up and down. You could do all the exercise and you can, but if you don't sleep properly and get deep REM sleep, it's not going to work out for you. That's why I love blue blocks. Blue blocks makes the best sleep mask known to man. They sent them to me a couple of weeks ago. I took a look at it. I go, what the hell? Let me give it a shot. Let me tell you something. The
Starting point is 01:04:22 first night I slept like a baby and I got to sleep at me a mask on. This fits right over the mask. I looked like a pilot to Bombardier. I was finally pilot to Bombardier. So if you have an hard time sleeping because you have any light in the room, get rid of the light because any amount of light will keep you up. Go with blue block sleep mask because it blocks out everything. Total darkness. Once you go black, you'll never sleep with anything else. Listen, the thing I like about it the most is it cups your eyes and it makes the world go away. It helps you drift off to sleep. I put my pair on. I hit the bed. I say in our father, I say, hell, Marion, I go, what is that going to do for me? And next thing, you know, it clears my mind and
Starting point is 01:05:01 I fall asleep. Why? Because I just, it just drips away. The adjustable head strap won't wear out and it's contoured sides allow for side and belly sleepers. There's going to be no slipping involved. When I wake up in the morning, I wake up the total darkness. I remember what the, I wake up like, what the hell's going on? Oh, that's right. I got my sleep goggles on. Let me take them off. Remini made a great sleep mask. They really hit it out of the park. It's comfortable. It doesn't squeeze your face like a grape. Plus it's made with lightweight, breathable fabric to keep you cool all night long. They thought of everything. I applaud them. I love it. My daughter, my daughter, my eight year old daughter wears these things. She puts on a
Starting point is 01:05:42 com app and then she puts these on. I go in there to kiss her and I'm like, who am I kissing? Who are you? The pilot from, from Never Say Die. So do me a favor right now. Support Blue Blocks right now. Get yours today. Get 20% off with Code Joey at Blue Blocks. B-L-U-B-L-O-X.com slash Joey. That's Blue Blocks. B-L-U-B-L-O-X.com slash Joey for 20% off. Blue Blocks.com slash Joey. Use promo code Joey. What else can I tell you? Night night cocksuckers. The joint is also brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Listen to me. Whether you got four employees or 500 employees, you don't have time to go through a bunch of resumes right now. There's a lot going on. You know, you're trying to find the right person. You need somebody to wear a lot of hats. Listen,
Starting point is 01:06:37 finding that person is hard. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It ends today. Why? Because I'm going to let you try ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey for free. Free. Free. Even if you have a simple position to fill that takes forever to find the great fit, that's over. That's where Zip Recruiter comes in and it finds the qualified candidates fast. Whether you're looking to hire a cook in Nebraska, a mascot in Missouri, you know, a doctor in Arkansas, Zip Recruiter's matching technology will hook you up with the people who have the skills and experience that you're looking to get. And then it actively invites them to apply for the job. Get quality candidates fast. In fact, Zip Recruiter is so effective that four out of five
Starting point is 01:07:26 employees who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day from accounting to zoologist and everything in between. Zip Recruiter makes hiring that much easier. So right now, just for the for the joint listeners, you can try Zip Recruiter for free. Free. Free. Free. That's right. Zip Recruiter for free by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey. Try it for free. I get credit by sending you there and it's a great product and you're going to enjoy it. You're going to need it. Why? Time and energy and effort to get the best that's out there. That's if Zip Recruiter has to offer you. So go to ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey and give it a zip for free. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. I want to thank Zip Recruiter.
Starting point is 01:08:16 I want to thank Blue Blocks. I want to thank DraftKings. Do not forget this weekend. They're running major specials. I think it's down to eight teams, four teams, the final four. You cannot miss out on this. You fucked up last week. Now don't do it again this week. Go to DraftKings, download the app and press and Joey. I want to thank CBD Lion. I want to thank Honor. Anybody who's got my back, I got your back. But most importantly, I want to thank the people who watched the show and who stuck it out with us. We've had some burps and some bumps, but fuck that. We're going for it. I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great week. I'll see you Monday. It'll be April 6th to 5th and we'll be through. We'll take another fucking month down. You understand me?
Starting point is 01:09:01 I love you, cocksuckers. Have a great weekend. Stay black. Here you go. The candle is unlit, cocksuckers.

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