Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #054 - BERT KREISCHER - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT
Episode Date: April 7, 2021Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It's Wednesday, April 7th..... Today, we talked to The Machine himself, BERT KREISCHER..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, CBD Lion & LUCY Nicotine Gu...m...... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com PROMO CODE: JOEY Go to https://www.CBDLion.com PROMO CODE: JOEY or CHURCH Go to https://www.Lucy.co PROMO CODE: JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #BertKreischer Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada visuals@benjamintelford.com Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals Â
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Hey, how you doing? Come on in.
Yeah, Joey's in the back.
Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
Greetings from Podcastville. What's happening you bad motherfucker?
Uncle Joey on a Wednesday feeling good.
Looking good.
Got my Covid shot.
I'm not even gonna tell you what happened until next week cuz fuck it if that needs a whole different fucking podcast to tell you the story
But I did it. I got it over with I'm fucking happy. It's Wednesday. It's a beautiful day to be alive and I
Hope you enjoyed the podcast Monday with Eddie trunk good dude. You know I'm saying good motherfucker
So now I'm part of the fucking heavy metal family down here in Jersey with him Jamison and my man Jimmy Florentine
but this last week I
Listen man if I
miss I
Missed things about California
and
But I'm pretty much settled here as you guys could see by the smile on my face and my comfortability and my you know
But I do miss what it was. I do miss what it was what I was
I don't miss the condition I was in last year with you know the last
Eight years with the edibles and all that shit
But I do miss pieces of that life if I didn't tell you I didn't miss pieces of that life. I'd be a fucking liar. I
Missed a lot of the guys a little I miss a lot of camaraderie
You know one of the reasons I left LA one of the reasons I came back to Jersey
Let's get this out of the way was I wanted to be closer to my family
In reality, I have no blood family. I was talking about the guys that I grew up with and
You know how they treated me when I was growing up and I just wanted to be closer to them just in case we
This country did go into a hard time something happened
I wanted to be people around people that I could trust and not that I didn't trust people in LA, but
And I'll lay you're out there by yourself. I wanted you guys to understand what
And I'm not complaining. It was me my wife and
Mercy and yes, we had Lee and we had our own little clique Steve Simone and all those guys
But as far as comedians like big-timers
They were always on the move. So our only time to see each other
Was at the comedy store and a comedy function or nothing
It was very rarely that we did anything out of line once I moved
out of Hollywood in
2010 I think we moved into
North Hollywood first in studio city
Up there a lot of a lot of comics lived up there in that area
It was more, you know, I would bump into comics in Hollywood at coffee shops or if I went on Hollywood
Boulevard to get something or something a weed store or something, but
When I went to the Valley the comics that were up in the Valley were more family oriented to the comics
You know, I would bump into different guys to 7-eleven and whatnot
The one I was in shock that I lived three blocks away from was Burt Christia
I did not know this when I moved into that area. I lived basically close to Burt Christia
And then in time I even moved closer to Burt Christia because I wanted
My daughter to go to that school Burt was the one that
Told me to get into that area that the school was a better area for my daughter
so in in in
sense, it was you know, I went moved to
Where I lived because of Burt and I was closer to Burt and at first, you know, when my first moved into that area
I think it was 2016. I did that tour for
live nation
I was really closer with Burt, you know, we were doing the bird cast every day. We were over there more
You know, the legendary Ralphie story
happened and it was a lot more fun than our schedules got busier and that's what made me sad about LA that I
Really wasn't seeing Joe. I really wasn't seeing Eddie
I really wasn't seeing bird or Tom or any of my other friends unless it was at the store
You know for the holidays were all over the place
For different, you know events were all over the place
But there was one holiday that I saw somebody
For like the last four years I was up in LA and that was Burt Christia. We go to his house and my fucking
He had these Chinese friends. I love him. We would just talk about Chinese food being her and you know
Burt's wife is great and the girls and I remember our last Christmas there
it was kind of cool out and Burt had just put the pool in and
He was daring people to jump in the fucking pool and whatnot and my daughter's like
I'll jump in the pool and the people are like what and she's like I'll jump in the pool
They're like mercy mercy mercy and Mercy's looking on like she's like, okay
I'm jumping the pool and she had all her clothes on and she started running towards the pool right before she wanted to pull
She goes stop
She goes mommy hold my ring and she gives her mom her ring out all the fucking things you could hold my sneakers my socks
No, take my ring. I wanted to get wet. We fucking died
Burt jumped in my daughter jumped in and that was the highlight of the night
I'm daddy mommy hold my ring and we fucking till this day whenever Burt saw mercy go mercy hold my ring and mercy
We just shake ahead so
Burt was kind of family, you know mercy called the Uncle Burt and
When I found out he was leaving for three months, I kind of got sad then I heard he's coming back
And he's leaving for two more months. So what I did this week was I did a little conversation with a little chat and
It was great. There was great seeing him. He looks great and
You see it for yourself and enjoy meeting Burt cock suckers
What's up kid
It's a great-looking studio Joey, this is the fucking bar. This is the
The zoom room
We fucking call it because this was the bar, you know, it's just you should have moved in here
There's a great fucking bar. That's why I called the podcast uncle Joey's join at first
Because we were gonna do it from the bar, but then we couldn't get cameras and shit like that. You look good
So wait, is that that's not the bar your mom your mom owned is it? No, no, no, this is a bar in my basement
That's in your basement. Yes
We're gonna yank this out though soon
You know, we had a bar we we bought a new house and we had an old bar in it
I wanted to keep the old bar and
It just it was too much of a pain in the ass to keep the old bar like the fucking
The to get back you had to lift up part of the bar to get under it
And I guess it had lost the spring so the first time I lived in it
You know, she lifts it like this and it fucking drops and she looks holds up her fingers
That was a close call and so Leanne's like we're getting rid of the fucking bar that broke your fucking heart
How's the house? We haven't moved in yet. We're still building
The podcast studio is done the gym is done Leanne's podcast studio is done, but we're still we're gonna be
Building that thing forever. I feel like
How you feeling you look great. I
Feel great Joey. I gotta be honest with you. I feel better than I've ever felt. I'm working out twice a day
and
I'm not drinking a ton. I'm but you know, I'm having a couple glasses of wine at night
But I try to keep it I keep it under a bottle and I'm fine. You know, I can get up or early and work out
I feel great. Um, I'm probably the happiest I've ever been
I just bummed that like I can't get on stage it or none of you guys are around
Like getting podcast guests as hard as fucking shit now like to find people that'll do it in studio
And you got to like hope people come out to LA and no one has a reason to come out to LNA LA
No, it's nightmare. I had this listen when we started this I
Said fuck it. I'll do it. I'll a bill Burr. Yeah, you know do Bill Burr once a week and try to get a guest and I
Getting a live guest is too rough
Even for me listen stand up is rough for me because I'm putting 200 people in a room
Even 41 people in the room. I don't want nobody to get this
Whether it's light whether it's just a mild cough. I don't want this associated with me at any fucking
Point so we had a resume to zoom and
I think that people like you and I could zoom because we have a prior relationship
It's interviewing people that you really don't know
On zoom that doesn't work well for me like I said on the podcast
I've had some bad ones. I've had some horrible fucking zooms and it's because there's nothing there
We have a culture, you know, we know each other 10 15 years
It makes a big difference on the zoom and I think that still comes through at first
I was a little hesitant about the zoom. I didn't like it, but Mike got it to work fucking perfect. It looks great
It sounds great. So it's about a good setup, too
You got a good setup like like some people do it. I did one
I'm not gonna call it names, but I've done a couple where they do it on their phone and you're like, hey, man
Step up your game a little bit like and but you can't you you can't say anything to them because you're not sending them over
Their equipment and they don't get it like I had one person do one from his car
Like did it from his car on his phone and I was like, I just didn't use it
I was like I cut it short at 30 minutes and I was like, I appreciate your time. I was like, I'm fucking
It was very tough and I hope that people at home understand
The effort that we're putting in like it's tough, you know, what happens if you got a call from Tom did what you did and
He had COVID you couldn't do the podcast. Oh Joey, I did so I did
I mean, I don't know how much of this I've shared or not shared but I get a call from Tom and I go
Now Leanne and I both did
Christina's your mom. Where's your mom's at on like Friday, right? We get a call. We both do it Friday afternoon
Leanne does it for an hour and a half. I do it for an hour and a half
I talked to Tom on Sunday and I'm like
What's up, he's like I got COVID I said shut up you got COVID he's like, yeah
And I was like, where did you get it? He was like in the in the rehab facility we have to and I go shut up
I go to push get it. He's like, yeah push got it too. And I was like, when did she get it?
He was like what she started showing symptoms like Saturday. I'm like, I was with her fucking Friday Leanne was with her Friday
Now we're sitting with my parents in a big circle having wine and cigars and I'm going mother fucker
So he's like, you know, I think he would have shown symptoms by now
It's been three days four days whatever so then I got look at Leanne and I go out as a close call the next week
I'm with dr. Drew dr. Drew for an hour and a half
He tests positive and I'm like mother fuck and then I just I stopped man. I stopped and I'll be honest with you Joey
I'm not good with people right now. I'm not good being around people like I'm very short. I want I like want distance
we went to right at the other day and
And I all of a sudden people start getting in line like it's like it's 1987
They're like up on your back and I just got out of line and walked outside
I'm like, I can't have motherfuckers near me like I haven't gotten comfortable yet. I'm happy you're saying all this
But you're the fucking guy
That last March 10th. Yeah when COVID was on a spread
You were at the garden drinking beers with 20 motherfuckers and didn't get it that weekend. I'm like, he's dead
He's dead. I saw you all summer on a boat
Doing theater tours. Listen the Mickey mantle gene theory is fucking alive and kicking in my world
Don't let them tell you anything else. You have the Mickey mantle gene and the Godzilla gene the Japanese gene
They didn't get you didn't get it like how many how many COVID tests did you take? I've taken probably a hundred fifty
Me too me every time you know, I bought I bought fucking I bought a hundred COVID tests for myself
I bought them. I got them on the rap test. Yeah, the rapid. Yeah
It was just you know, I got sick and tired of doing comedy and getting a call
There's 41 people in the fucking room and I got two calls two times and I'm like, you know what I'm not doing shit
But but to go back to the original I
Do not feel comfortable either. I
Feel comfortable with Mike. I feel comfortable if I know where you do at night
Yeah, I feel very comfortable people who are going still to bars and restaurants. I
Just
No, not really, you know
I'm doing a lot of kid stuff that you already did your daughters are grown. You know, I'm coaching. I'm not coaching Jesus Christ
She's playing softball
So I go to softball. She just got a green belt, you know, you're going there with masks the softball is outside
But I can't even imagine going on the road
Like it is the farthest fucking thing from my mind
Going to an airport
Getting on a plane going in a hotel
Having somebody asked me if I want to take a picture now
Just burns my insides. It's fucking COVID season guy. There ain't no pictures put that fucking camera away
Put that fucking camera away when I get vaccinated if I get vaccinated when the time comes today
I got on the phone with somebody about a vaccination because I'm trying to get to Johnson and Johnson
It's one shot. I'll faint one time
I'll sweat my asshole. I shit my blood, you know, it's just a nightmare for me to get a needle
Let me get the Johnson job, but Joey, it only covers you 85. I don't give a fuck
I don't give a fuck just as long as I can get that card because in a year
We're not gonna be able to do anything without that card. No, they're gonna
Communize us. We're not gonna fucking be able to do dick without the fucking card
And if you just get one Moderna, it's not gonna be in charge of it though proud
My god is if we have to do this every year
If we got to do this every year that I'm not gonna fucking do it
I'm just gonna take my chance when you're gonna see people flood if this is an every year thing people start leaving out
Like quick as shit in New York. No, no to the suburbs
If I have to now, do you take a flu shot every year? No, I refuse to get flu shot
I've never taken a flu shot in my fucking life because I listen I owe the doctor
I'm happy I moved from LA because I had a Chinese doctor and they're fucking serious with their shit doctor
I had an original guy, but he retired before the pandemic and he didn't give a fuck about
Whether I took the shingles shot or the tetanus shot this Jimmy Wu guy was torturing me
He was calling me at home and shit
When are you coming down for your shingles shot? And I'm like and also the pandemic hit me stop calling
I'm like, thank fucking God. They stopped bothering with these needles. Now. You got to take another fucking COVID test. I just
COVID needle, I just don't even know there's so much information that floods you every day
That's what another reason why I put stand up aside
Yeah, because I got so much on my plate to make fucking decisions
Now I got to worry about stand up when I wake up in the mornings. I have to go do stand up as I'm pissing
I'm like fuck. I can't believe I got involved in this
and then there was two weeks in a row where they closed the place down like I said because
Customers had it and I was like, that's it. I'm not I'm not going through this anymore
So we did we did that first run. We did that first run and they were like
They're like, you know those the drive-ins don't pay really great, you know
Because you got to have a you got to bring your own stage. You got to bring a crew of 12 people
With you everywhere to set up the stage set up the gear
You got to have a tour bus for those 12 people like it's just it's very it's not cost-effective those drive-in tours
It's fun. You end up making a little bit of money, but they had to in order to do that first run
we had to put
We had to do stand-up shows in clubs and and our first one was stand-up live and Cal and a shop had just gotten COVID there
And I was like, I was like, listen, we're gonna be really safe
We enter through the back go into the green room. We don't leave the green room. We do our show
We go out no one goes in the green room
We get it in the green room and there's like nine people in the green. No
Green and we're like mother fucker the fuck out and then and then and and I don't know the numbers
I think the numbers they did like half capacity. It seemed a little more, but that's a big fucking club
The next place we go to is fucking jam-packed and it's like no one's wearing masks
Everyone's just partying and you're on stage going like, okay, like I I I get it
You know, this is Texas
We go to fucking Oklahoma City and it is wall-to-wall and they've got they've got
They've got fans on the stage blowing air to me because it's hot and I go turn those fucking fans around blow the disease that way
I don't want to blow it to me. You had your fucking minds and then I was like I called off
The last one it was Salt Lake City. That was perfect. He was he ran it. He ran it perfectly
that was like perfect and and I just as like no more clubs
I can't do any more clubs because look they were taking temperatures
They were being safe, but like my my brain wasn't right
Like I was I'm up cuz you know what really fucked me up about this disease that is fucking four or five days
You got to wait till you showed symptoms
I'm like, come on man. Like give it to me that day. I want it the next morning
Fucking wait there and wait till I die
It's like oh, I felt like you're in the zombie apocalypse and you're the last motherfucker in the barn
And they're all around the barn and you're just like fucking I'm just gonna run into the guy there's the one
You wake up in the morning. You drink coffee like oh, I got a sore throat
I got high with Rogan was so so
January like that my special comes out January 17th shit gets crazy
Joe's like yo, can we do the podcast like?
24th right now the the pandemic is in it is kicked in no one's leaving their house
No one's on the 405 no one's on the 101. I make it to Joe's podcast studio in like seven minutes, right?
I'm there early Joe's there early
Where he does you know what's crazy is he doesn't give me a hug
You know whenever you see Joe he gives you that rash you up in that big hug
Yeah, doesn't give me a hug just stands off like he's mad at you right and you're like oh shit
And then he goes
He's like, you know, how you feeling how you doing? I said good handle at the house like cool
We go in he's like you have I can use a cocktail and I was like me too and then he gives me
My own joint right so I got my own joint. He's got his own joint
Start smoking and then all of a sudden I start getting paranoid. I'm like I'm like
Get a little shortness of breath. You're like, oh shit. I got the covid my my throats
I could feel my throat really intensely and I'm like I gotta get the I gotta fucking
I just ended up murdering alcohol to get rid of the covid
I have not
Since I've got here when I first got here the first month of august I smoked with three hands
I kept I continued living like I was living in LA
When I moved into the house September 1st
We had an earthquake here
What like five nights after I move into this house
I am fucking hammered. I am in my kitchen stuffing my face with chicken cutlets and fucking popcorn and apples
And there's an earthquake and I'm so fucking high
That I go, you know what I'll deal with this tomorrow
And I just went to bed and I got up and the next day people like fuck you joey
You brought earthquakes to jersey with you. It was right in the freehold like 15 minutes from where I'm living now
And I was like, you know what I I gotta stop
I was up that two three in the morning, you know, my time zone had shifted
So what I did Burt was I said fuck it
No more edibles. I stopped doing edibles for a month
And then I started taking edibles to fall asleep
So at a quarter to 11 I drink my tea and I put two edibles in the tea
capsules abx
Yeah, the fucking syringes whatever I have
And I watched Miami Vice and by fucking 10 to 12
Papa's done
Really done. I walk upstairs. I barely make it upstairs. I fucking stumble into bed
And I get my fucking eight hours, but I swear to god like today. I have not smoked yet
Really and you could hear it in my voice. There's no whistle
There's no whistle. That's it. That's done. That's done if I smoke three times a day now. It's a lot
Wow, you know when I spoke to you and you told me you were going away for three months and then two months
And that you were going to spend time with the girls
I asked myself what happened to fucking Burt. This was a guy that
Could not function
Unless he was out. This was part of who he was and all of a sudden he's told me
I'm gone for five months. I'm gonna stay with the girls for seven months. I'm like, what the fuck
I knew there was more to the fucking story. You're like, I'm done
And the and what people don't understand is like the last 10 years
We've been busting our fucking humps
And then there was 10 years before that that we were bumped busting our humps in a different way
So it's like for me
I remember when they first closed everything. I'm like, okay. I could breathe march in april
Yeah, I'm like, I hope they cancel may and I hope they cancel fucking june too
You know, I did not want to go to a casino in cleveland. I wanted to stay at nix
You know in hilarities. I was like, I don't want to fucking play a deed. I just want to do nix nix is such a great club
It's easy fucking the hotel. You got the chocolate shake downstairs and the fucking
The food's amazing chocolate bar. Yeah, the fucking you get you stay up late night hanging out hang out and have a conversation with nick
Just fuck. Oh my god. I love it. Nick's got great food over there at hilarities
You know people don't understand them that yes, I missed that. You know, I missed the guy from was uh
He's a great guy from fucking salt lake city
Keith really fucking tried I had to leave I kind of cancelled his room
Because I was leaving august 19th
And I was supposed to be in his room like september 4th. It broke my heart that I had a cancer
But I wasn't ready to do a weekend. I hadn't been on stage in seven fucking months
I don't want people to see me in that condition. I don't want people to see me rusty. I hate that shit. Yeah
Yeah, I I uh
I pulled out everything and then and and you know, look i'm
I'm I was it when we first started it and it was it was like I gotta be really honest
I was driving I was in the bus. We were driving from dc to new york
And we were gonna spend that week in new york and and everyone was talking about covet
But no one knew about it, but I was partying hard as fuck
Hard as hard as fuck and we stayed
A week in new york just to party like just to party we parked the bus outside in jersey
All got hotels and soho and just partied every fucking night when the pandemic is raging, right raging
I saw you the one night at the garden
Then the next night I saw a clip of you with 200 people around you at fucking
You know j big j show big j and louis gomez. Oh, yeah, that's right
And i'm like if this motherfucker don't have covet now, he's never gonna fucking get it
Dude when we were when we were at the garden with I did this
Twice right so we're at the garden twice once is for basketball game once once for a hockey game
And so when we go to we're at the basketball game
They got they come up and they're like hey burt. We're gonna put you on the big screen
I was like, fuck. Yeah, and they're like, hey, is it cool if you kill a beer?
Would you have a beer to kill and I go shit? I don't I don't have one. Let me go get one
They go the winter on time
We're gonna be on like pouring beers
Everyone started pouring their beers in my beer. I'm like mother fucker
I'm like he's gonna die how you get coveted this motherfucker and meanwhile on the other side of town
Michael yo's getting coveted at the Gotham
Yeah, so it was so weird that you're on you're at the garden at 48th street
Michael yo's on 20th street with big ball frankie and jeffie gurion
And three out of four of them get fucking coveted in the room. They're in the green room
The owner didn't get it christmas illy didn't get it christ didn't get it
So there was four of them in the room in the green room talking
Three out of four of them went down with michael yo going down the hardest
Lisa lamp and ellie's ex had his fucking heart. He called his family and told him goodbye
Really on the phone? Yeah
So think about how fucking lucky you are that while you were at the garden jumping up and down drinking coveted beer
Fucking michael yo is over there at Gotham getting poor coveted and a fucking pneumonia
To the point where he made a tape. He lost weight. So you're a lucky fucking dude
So I was and then we did the exact same thing the next night at the fucking garden again
And then partied all the way up through wilkesbury all the way back down schenectady and then hit up
Hit up did the beacon did two shoes hung out with james dolin who had covet james dolin test covet test positive for coveted the next week
We i'm day in shirtless pictures with him and his family backstage at the beacon
Go to dc and now now the covet's like everyone's talking about it and I remember joey i remember
I remember in that it we're in the uh constitution hall right and
I hear someone cough
And everyone turned and looked and I went oh this I went I got backstage
I go guys this is gonna get real serious real quickly like if if
If someone shows up into one of these theaters with covet
They're giving it to everyone like it's gonna spread like this
And then next week we're in deep we're in norlands once again fly in on the red eye
We party all night. We're walking through bourbon street. We're stopping in bars. We're having drinks. We take a general meeting
I mean joey. I'm everywhere. I'm everywhere. We're getting getting kube
Uh, uh, vietnamese sandwiches like just fucking driving. We're driving around no one's got a mask on
And I remember seeing people with gloves on and going like what fucking lunatics
and and then they come into the bus and they're like
hey, uh
I think they're gonna cancel the show tonight and I was like no
And they're like yeah walk inside and I look and all
The and this is when they start telling us, you know
People that are really affected are people over like 70 and all of the ushers
All of them are over 70 years old every single one and I was like, all right. Yeah, I go cancel the show
And then they're like, I think they're gonna cancel atlanta and alabama. They're gonna cancel texas. They're gonna cancel this
I think the cancel in the two next weeks. I think you need to go home
And I was just like and that's when I got scared. I was like, all right
We stay in the bus. We take the bus home. We put no one leaves the bus
We drink all the booze that we have in the bus until we get home and by the time we got home
We're stopping in new mexico at the walmart getting supplies because everything's empty in la
We're getting like because no one in new mexico believed it. I got invited to a house party. They're like
They're like, it's not this virus isn't real. It's not gonna hit new mexico
But yeah, we loaded up
And I was like god and I remember saying joey
I remember saying to god in the back of the tour bus leaving from dc to new york to party for a week
I was like, all right god
Like I need a break. I need like I need something
I can't because this tour was at that point. It was going every week until like june
And I was like, I just need I think I'm gonna end up dying if I don't get like a little break
Like just something to some breathing room like give me a tv show or or like a something where I can work
And I'm not partying like this because I go I can't do this
I'm I because you you know when you you know when you get it
You know when you're you partying and you're you're taking it so far
That there's no bringing it back
There's no like you're only going to that level every night
And then you need that night that week home where you go. All right. I'm not drinking tonight
And then you stop and then you can reset things and then you go. Okay. Now. We're back to normal
I was at that like pushing it. We're you know two shows
I have a drink on the second show all of a sudden you're driving to
Through the night you're partying there you're partying through the night you wake up
Everyone has cocktails you pass out you work out like and I was like I just need fucking
I need I need like one week just to reset things and then be careful what you wish for next you know
I'm not drinking for 60 days. I'm sitting in the house with Leanne and Georgia every night going
What do you guys want to watch on tv tonight, huh?
How are you adjusting now?
I'm great. I'm really good now right now. I'm in the sweet spot. The girls just went back to school
So they're like all of a sudden all the anxiety that they've had all the depression
They've had because it's been fucking really hard on them. It was very hard on the kids
It was hard on my daughter last June. She was a different fucking kid
Yeah, and it ate me alive because I couldn't help it. Nothing bothers you more than when you see your kids
Are having a hard time and you can't help them. There was no play dates
No, nothing
There was a homeless was starting to go to that park that we used me
You know the parade we used to do and end up at the park there
There's homeless now over there like there's little gaps over there and uh
You know parents wouldn't so we were with mercy from nine in the morning
We would go to that church on co on cofax and uh
Whatever the fuck there's like a church with the parking lot. We would go there play basketball
We were just looking for in search of parking lots. Yeah, it was it was just
Fucking in search of parking lots every day
Riding her bike. Then we started having play dates towards the end, but the damage had been done
When we got to jersey the first couple weeks
We were staying in corporate housing and we had a pool and she was great
And then we started we moved in and she started
Meeting the kids from the neighborhood then my brother's wife died and they had like a little celebration from right when I got here
It was horrible
And we all had to go there and it was like 30 fucking kids and we're all outside. It was cool. We're outside
We all had mask on and I gave half my family those edibles those capsules
And they were fucked up two of my brothers had to disappear and go sleep in the car
But she had like a little anxiety attack because she hadn't been around so many people
Like she had she was playing with nine or ten kids that'd been the first time
In seven months that she had played with nine or ten kids
We were like where's mercy and we went looking for her. She was two houses down in the backyard just with a head in the hand crying
Because she's like I can't take the kids that they're moving too quick. I'm not used to this
And that's when I was like
Thank god we got out of LA because she was just she was falling apart to be honest with you
I love I had a rough run of it at the beginning because she just
She was like, you know, this is what I like
I'm not leaving my room and then she got she started saying to me
I'm really covid conscious
So I don't like I don't want to be around anyone like I don't I'm good
And we were like, yo, you got to get outside
She was like no I don't because george was riding bikes with friends and going like going on
Social distance like hang out at the park
She'd go on bike rides and isla didn't do shit and last yesterday they went back to school for I mean even taking
I took a little school for the first time she like an orientation like two weeks ago
And she was a mess joey like just a mess like like she hadn't been around people before
And then yesterday they went
And she came home. She's like, I made six friends today
And we were like really she's like, yeah
She's like dad that was awesome and I was like really and then georgia comes in and she goes
I forgot I was kind of popular
And I was like I was like really and she's like I have like a lot of friends
I haven't talked to anybody and I'm just like they're they're there today and then they start spring break
tomorrow
So, um, what the fuck is that two days then spring break. We've just been on a fucking year break
What fucking spring fucking break?
Well, they did the same thing here. They took off fucking chinese holidays and jewish holidays. Look at the fucking holiday. No holidays
Not now we've been out of school for a fucking year and you want to celebrate the year of the tiger
I'm not not not this fucking year. Forget about this. Everybody gets a past this year. Martin Luther king. What the fuck?
We're on we're on spring break this week. But they they've been they've been back in school
You know school started here four days a week with no hitch
They were dying to close it
They were dying anything and they closed it two days before thanksgiving
And let me tell you something these fucking parents
went fucking ballistic
Do you understand me if you think they were gonna lay down like those pussies where we lived in cofax
These parents attacked the superintendent
They fucking did a background check on them. They knew he was negotiating this contract
They brought it up at the board of ed meetings
And guess what my daughter's in fucking school next week five days a week that starts
Well, that's what's crazy is like is like la follows all these rules
And then you look at florida who's been raw dogging at the entire time and their covid cases are the same as ours
And we're the highest in the country right now
Jersey is the number one for fucking covid
Right now and you know what they're doing. It's the restaurants
It's the fucking restaurants that are fucking
Putting in you know 90,000 people in there
You go to a restaurant on friday and saturday in new jersey. It's an hour fucking late during the week. There's nobody in
So if I take my wife out it's during the week if I go to dinner with
A friend it's during the week friday and saturday. Fuck you
They got you three feet next to the next fucking guy coughing and sneezing. So no real
Yeah, and they're not rolling out the vaccines how they say they're doing them. I don't know what the
You don't you don't know. I'm one of my fouchie. All I know is what you read
I don't watch the news. I don't believe what fucking they come out in the new
You know last time my wife turned on the news. I was at the computer
and the fucking opening line was that
Queens and
Fucking brooklyn had a transmission rate of 4.5 something
And queens was four point something and new york cities was 2.7 and then they go. Oh
The next story is a good one
New york is opening 75 capacity. So wait a second
How the fuck are you opening? You just told me right now the fucking numbers are the worst
So you don't I mean my wife looked at each other like did you hear that one minute?
They're telling you that the numbers are the worst and the next minute they're telling you that opening up the restaurants are 75 percent
You know what?
I'm gonna mind my business. I didn't want to get the vaccine
I think I'm gonna have to get it like just the johnson and johnson. I'm in new jersey
Johnson and johnson is made in new jersey. Do you know nobody's got it in new jersey?
For real? Yeah, I can't get a johnson and johnson in new jersey
Is that the one to get this johnson johnson's want to get huh?
It's a one-shot deal and you get 80 percent. I think fucking, you know from the whatever
But it's 99.95 percent that you're gonna live. So, you know, you just want to get it if you have
Existing whatever I don't want to keep getting these calls bird
I don't want to do something have a good time and then two days later get a call that
The waitress had covet and now I got to go take a fucking test
And now I already have plans with mike to go to dinner and his family
And I got to fucking sit there and tell him mike. I had covet so
Sit on the other side of the table. We got to talk with a can and a string in between because fucking
I got fucking covet, you know, I gotta get that's what you got to do
That's the only way you're not gonna get covet is if you get a can with a fucking string
And talk to your guy 10 fucking feet away one daddy tell you socially distance is three feet
The next day they tell you it's six feet. You don't know who to fucking believe anymore
Dude, I'm just I'm you know, I I not that I'm not worried about me getting it and me getting sick
You know, I'm overweight if I don't I don't smoke I run
I think my lungs are healthy and I don't get
Super sick when I do get sick like it
I've I've never gotten pneumonia
I had I had swine flu once that h1n1. I had that that was the worst
I've ever been in my entire life, but I kind of was like
It's not me that I'm concerned about because I figure I can get through it. I've been sick before I can do it
It's lian. I'm worried about lianx when lian gets sick
She gets
Fucking sick like lian
Is like a bull if but if she gets sick that woman shuts down and I was like and that's who I was that's
Like my big concern is
You know, you'd go on the road
You'd be on the road doing it like a two-week tour and I'd get a call going mom's sick
And you're like fuck
That's when I was like to lian
I was like we got to get you vaccinated fucking immediately like you're just not did you got it vaccinated?
Yeah, lian's got lian got her first shot
Terry got a second shot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and she's feeling a little shitty. She's better today. She got it Saturday
I don't think I don't know when lian gets her. She just got her first shot. I don't know when she gets her second shot
She did the she's she's she's a savage like she
I I get I get anxiety about it. Joey. I get anxiety about like
Getting in line and and trying to get the extra shot and fall as shit. I just kind of like I don't know. I don't know
Are you gonna get the shot? I'm just gonna register republican
I register felon
So I'm even worse
But are you gonna get the shot? I got it. I got a I got an appointment with my doctor
Uh in like a week. I'm gonna see what I can do
I mean you're going away, right? You're going away for three months overseas
They're gonna probably make you get one anyway. I think so for the crew
It's a lot easier if you get it so they don't shut down your production, you know
Are you excited about shooting this movie? Is it something I haven't talked about?
I haven't talked about it. No one knows what it is. So don't tell anyone what it is. I don't know what it is
I don't know. Yeah, I'm really excited. It's gonna be a fucking blast. Everyone thinks I'm going to rehab
really
Is that what you're telling people you're gonna? I'm telling everyone I'm going to rehab
Have you but you've toned down your drinking a little you look great bird. I feel great, Joey
You know, I like to have I love to have a glass of wine with liam when we start making dinner
I love to have like we're doing a podcast in the new studio
I love to have a glass of bottle of wine share a bottle of wine with someone
It makes a conversational flow a little better what I'm not doing is
Which which I was a big I was very guilty of is you know, have that bottle of wine and then
Open a second bottle of wine or have a cocktail or have a beer or or have three beers and watch tv
I just don't do that. So like what I do is last night's perfect example
I did a podcast with Krista Stefano. We opened a bottle of rosé had a bottle of rosé
Head home. I had got a ride home and then
Leanne and I opened a bottle. So I had like me and chris and and uh, don
Don, um,
What's his name chris the pettus on don de peda Jesus christ don de peda
Fuck i'm an idiot
We split a bottle of rosé and then I I had a bottle of wine with liam
And we split that and so I had like probably around a bottle of wine and then I just go to the I go over to the uh
To recliner and I just start murdering waters
And I just drink as much water as I can. That's good water from my
Nebraska, awesome. Yeah, it's great. I have it in the back. I love it
I just murder water and then go to bed
No day drinking and it doesn't it doesn't hurt. It doesn't it doesn't
It helps out that i'm working out as much as I am so i'm like
I don't want to get fucked up
You know because I gotta i'm run in the morning or run five miles in the morning
And then i'm working out with a trainer in the afternoon. No day drinking
No, I haven't no, no, no, I take that back. I did it. Uh, saturday
But one day a week. Yeah, it's not listen. It's
Six days that kills you. Yeah. Yeah, sadly a little day drinking ain't gonna kill nobody
It's saturday saturday. We do this saturday
We do this workout with our girls and the and our trainer and like some friends will come like the hay slip
Sandy will come over and we'll do this like kind of family workout and then
And then it ends around four and that's we open a bottle of tequila for the rocks tequila and we did polar plunges
We're doing three minute polar points. I love it. What did you think about ron white kid and quitting drinking ron white quit drinking
ron white quit drinking
What are you serious listen doing this pandemic
People are gonna look within like even you didn't you cut your drinking by 70% it sounds oh
It's I've come I've been drinking by so much, but I cut my weed intake by 70%
You know, it's crazy that people just went up that some people just started drinking more
That's the truth a lot of people gonna go to rehab a lot of people are fucking eating pills like they're going out of style
Listen when this thing started
I had 12 years
You know how they send you every 90 days you get your prescriptions from scripts
Express scripts when you're sag you get prescription sent to you every 90 days
Whether you need them or not. They just send them to you. So they were sending me those little footballs
Yeah, you know how many times I took those like in the 12 years they sent them to me
I would take them on the road in case I couldn't sleep
Shit like that. I never really had that anxiety that
I started getting I would get anxiety once in a while you go to the store. You got to follow somebody
You get a little bit of anxiety, but no today. They announced this thing and what happened
I started eating those fucking pills between the pills the edibles the reefer
I was going to I was just passing out in the living room, you know
So when before I moved
I started tapering off the fucking pills
The anxiety medication I got here. I went to a doctor. They gave me a different anxiety medication
I said go fuck yourself. That's the one people are killing themselves that other shit
I just said I'm just gonna go raw dog it breathe it out
Work out and don't think about it. And the more I talk to people
I would go to lunch at rich farce. I would go to lunch with jimmy florentine
And then I would talk to you guys on the phone and see how you're doing you theo joe
Eddie this one that one and through time my anxiety started to lower
You know
Once I started doing comedy my anxiety went up because the guilt kicked in
What if I'm here being stupid? I'm not even writing new material. I got no new material
I mean up here wearing these people out
What if one person comes in here with covet?
Do I need this in my life and then somebody came through with covet twice they closed for a week
That guy, you know, I got replacement knee surgery
So it's fine. I'm done with the pt. I went through it. I'm off the pain pills
But I ripped my it muscle just a little bit so they had to go in and
Just repair it just so it heals right and shit
I can't mean my leg feels like a like a hard dick. You know when your dick is hard
That's how my knee around it just feels fucking hard and fuck
So until everything goes down I get vaccinated then we'll talk about comedy for right now
I'm gonna focus on the podcasting my daughter's softball. She got a green belt in jujitsu
She's a little savage. We just joined the swim club
We're gonna I'm gonna take it to a different beach every wednesday
You know new jerseys got 18 fucking beaches. Oh, yeah
So every every fucking Wednesday, we're going to a different fucking beach
We're gonna eat breakfast here, but eat lunch and dinner down the beach
Oh, and I'm gonna enjoy it. We took that's the best
That's the best is the little trips one morning
You know isla cannot wake up in the mornings and one morning isla one night. It's like 10 o'clock at night and isla says
It just rained really hard. She goes
Hey, can we go up to mount baldy and see snow tomorrow morning?
And I was like, yeah, but if you if we do that because we had stuff going on during the day
I said if we do that, we got to get up at like four in the morning
Get up there at six a.m. So the sun's coming up
We'll go see snow and then we'll just hang out for like 30 minutes an hour and then we got to drive homes
We had to do shit at 10 and she's like I'll be up
Joey I had so much fun with the girls in the car at four in the morning. Isla was like a jabber job
She had she had a she had a rock star energy drink
And she had never had one and she's just next to me like like she's on coke and we're going to buy concert tickets
She's like this is gonna be the greatest day ever like just going off
We had so much fun and and then the girls would get rallyed. They'd be like dad
Socially distant because I was I was really strict about it
Because they're like so should this let's go to the beach watch the sunset and I was like fuck it
Let's go and so we'd all get in the car. Leanne never went with us. Leanne always like you guys go
Get in the car go down see the go down on the beach. Have a fucking blast drive home. I do
I gotta be honest with you, Joey. I'm
You know how much I've been gone
This my career like I'm I'm a road guy like I go on the road. I'm cool with it. That's I get that's my job
That's what I do
But man being able to spend time with the girls at this age when they this was the last year
They were gonna be gone out the fucking door. This is it man
Just one extra year just one year
I got one year to spend with them and it wasn't even the whole year but god it feels like it
Every night at eight o'clock. I sit there. We meet upstairs about 10 to eight. We watched jesse bunked
And big city greens
And I sit there and I asked myself when do I put a gun in my fucking mouth?
And then I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
The problem this is what normal people do
Yeah, we haven't been normal for
29 years. I haven't acted normal. I didn't go to a wedding
I didn't do a thousand things. I was supposed to do in the name of fucking comedy
And now I sit there every night from eighth from 7 45
To 9 30 watching disney channel ready to blow my fucking brains out, but I go, you know what in four years
I'm not gonna have this
She's gonna be one. She's not gonna want to hang out with me. She's gonna want to watch tv by herself
She's gonna be 12 13
So for me this and for guys like you this was a blessing in disguise
There was a fucking yes, uh silver cloud to this because we got to spend time
With the people who needed us the most how many times did we fucking book a date?
And then your wife tells you that on that date there's something for the kids
And you do it and you feel like a fucking jerk off. That's what people don't understand
We sacrificed, you know, you're in your hotel room on a Saturday recovering from a hangover
And you call home to check in with your wife and the girls are having a great time
Their friends are around and here you are in some fucking bumfuck town in some hotel room going
You know what man where I belong is there. This is my job
But this is where I belong, you know, so it's kind of like you're a walking contradiction
And that's what it started to become for me. I was a walking contradiction
I'd actually look at the calendar and go all right that week. I can't go out
You know how many times I booked the fucking week of what's that shit they do at cofax
The war the world's fair world fair. I was gone like two other fucking four
You know, it just wasn't fair to them. So for me
Fuck it. I'm gonna take some time off
I'm gonna hang with the fucking girls. I'm gonna podcast my balls off
And I'm gonna have a good time. You know what the money who gives a fuck about it
Who gives a fuck about it? You can't replace what we're doing right now
You can't put a dollar sign on what we're doing right now, which is spending time
with our girls
In a year, maybe in 2022. I'll feel a lot better and I'll start hitting that road like
I'll I burp christian till they put me in a fucking casket. But for right now
I don't want to go fist fight nobody for a half capacity
And 10 people might have coveted. Look what happened in bolder last week. That could happen anywhere
That could happen anywhere, you know, somebody walks into a comedy club with a fucking gun
And a fucking anxiety pill in their fucking head and all of a sudden two people get shot. So, you know what?
I'm gonna mind my business. I'm gonna get healthy
Yeah, I'm gonna get my family healthy. Not that they're not fucking they're great
I mean my wife has friends that just care about her
You know, everybody that we were meeting always
Can you run a script by your husband? Uh, here we go. We don't have that here. Nobody talks to you about instagram
Nobody talks to you about a script they want to do a short film that that shit sailed, you know
But I do miss you mother fuckers with all my heart
What are you gonna do while you're in a way? How you gonna do two bears in a cave?
So we we backlogged a bunch of them, but
Tom's just gonna have guest hosts and then and then, you know
I'm gonna guest host some so that we can just have a bunch in the bank
But uh, and then bill burton. I bill and I just do ours on on
On uh zoom anyways zoom anyways, and I don't think we'll ever go back to not doing zoom because it's so easy for both of us
You know, he's got two babies
And i'm on the road and bills, you know bill when bill does the road he kind of shuts down
He's not like a multitask kind of guy. He's like focused on the road
And so I'm on the road. I can do it. I fucking work up until the show and then
um
yeah, and then and I backlogged a bunch of bird cast we got a new studio and uh
And I think I'm just gonna I think I'll probably
Ta I think this year probably saved my life. I'll probably tap off a booze
During that time away and then and then for the other thing too. I think I'll be off a booze for that
Although one of the guys that I were doing it with uh, it's a big
weed guy, so maybe I don't know
But uh, but I don't meant I'm part of me is like
I look, you know, I also had that instance where I watched Tommy break his knee and break his arm
And that fucked me up like little things joey like me and you were sensitive to little things
Like little things will flip us where we're like god damn it and the thing that fucked me up joey was that
They walked in
You know Tommy's in the most pain I've ever seen him in his entire life
And the nurse comes in and she goes, uh, I'm gonna take your blood pressure
Do you drink and he was like no she's like do you smoke and he's like no
She's like do you use drugs and he was like edibles to sleep
And all I thought joey is if this was me
I my blood pressure would be up
My I drink all the time. I don't know what pills you can put me on. I was drinking when we did it
I don't like all that shit. I just was like
Fuck man. I gotta get I gotta get like legit healthy like lower my blood pressure
Getting shape. I'm we were playing basketball. I was like 257 the fattest. I've ever been 257. I look like I'm pregnant
And it should have been me that got hurt, you know, I look at Tommy. He's in good shape
He's 235 at the time and then he's the one that got hurt and I had to take him
I had to take him I had to get him out of his car into the downstairs
I had to get him comfortable in on a sofa. We had to set up a sofa before he got to us
I had to show up the next morning of the wheelchair and and a walker and get him off that sofa
into a wheelchair into a medical
Transport and then drive with him in a medical transport in a fucking pandemic
Go to an orthopedist then go from the orthopedist to the doctor at cedar sinai get him checked into the emergency room
I spent the fucking five hours with him in the emergency room
I mean it was like it was such an event
that it made me realize how fragile life is and like
If you're not prepared for the worst to happen physically, then you're fucked. You're fucked
And I I just was like I have no muscle. I don't lift I don't lift weights
Um, I run but I'm but my running is like I drink a bottle of wine on the treadmill, you know, like I'm not
I'm just making sure I enjoy it
And I just I woke up the next day. I called joe. I apologize to joe
I was like joe you always told me to watch out for my knees
I didn't know what that meant and he started laughing. He goes. What do you mean? I go
I just thought you didn't know how knees worked
Like I thought you were like I go how the fuck was I gonna hurt my knee and then I go Tommy blew out his knee
I didn't understand. You knew what you're talking about. I go joe's told me so much
Shit where I just blew him off where I was like the fuck you talking about lifting weights
Why do I need to lift fucking weights? What a what's a kettlebell swing gonna do for me?
I'm gonna get on the treadmill open a box of wine. Have a good time. I'm fine. I'm fine
And I I was like I was like I changed everything. I got a trainer immediately
Uh got fucking started running aggressively on the treadmill and running outdoors and uh
And it's like I mean, I'm talking like legit like workout for 55 minutes lifting weights
I've got today at like uh two o'clock my time
I'm I go I'm with my trainer will work out for an hour and then I'm gonna do recovery ice bath
Do a sauna do a podcast at four with chris
Porter have a couple glasses of wine roll home murder some water sleep good read a book and fucking and I'm telling you
Joey, I really think
I think when I look at this year so many weird things happened and lined up and I witnessed
You know, whether it's being on the road and seeing the way people behave during a pandemic or
Or going into the small comedy clubs and getting scared and then and then adjusting my behavior
Or whether it's being home for the first three months and not touching booze or drugs and just going like I'm gonna be clean
I'm gonna be healthy
and and or if it's just like
Hey, not every night has to be me chasing
spots at the club
Maybe at night when your girls are home, you got a chance to go. Hey, let's let's watch
Let's watch a like a series together
Let's all get into a series and watch all that series and we'll watch two episodes a night like little changes like that
Joey, that's what I did. We all had to do it. Yeah, we all had to adjust
I started playing the guitar my man Mike gave me a fucking guitar
I've taken five lessons already
I find myself practicing. I started with 10 minutes now. I'm up to 45 minutes last night
I turned the tv off at night once my Terry goes to bed. I turned the tv off
That's it. There's no I've already seen everything. What a new fucking show. I can't sit there and focus on a new show
I can't even comprehend it. So let me just practice the fucking guitar. I'm up to my second song. I'm playing
I'm learning, you know
so it's like
This was a blessing in disguise. We all needed to get off
We were on a ferris wheel that we couldn't get off. No, there was no there was no hop it off
There was no there was no I mean I I said I set my tour
This is my year went like this. We we did the cabin in in whatever january, but that or no, no
We shot the cabin in november, didn't we?
I don't know. I thought oh, no, no, we shot it in january. We shot it in january shot it in january and
I was like it was like, all right
You shoot your special in november
You're gonna work every week in december to write a new hour because you're shooting the cabin in january
You start your tour at the end of january
And then you go from january to june and then we're gonna take a couple months off to maybe do something
And then you're going back on the road. I mean it was like you're right when you talk about a ferris wheel
It was it was going fast as fuck faster than fuck
Faster and I didn't realize it till after I got off it
three months four months five months now we've been off it for a year
And you go what the fuck was that what the fuck was I living what the fuck was I doing?
And it was all fine. You know, we were great. It was a great fucking time
The store was great. I mean but dude like it's almost like it's almost like we got a little period
You know, I'm not like look things change things change and things changed
You know that period of life I got to live
Where it was all of us in la we were all starting podcasts
We were all loving doing podcasts
Just going in getting high getting drunk talking reckless
Just making each other laugh fucking as hard as we could and getting those people that found that
Because we've started it and people found it at the same time
And you go in and do fucking the ice house chronicles where it was all of us
Just tag team and doing spots and getting fucking wasted having so much fun
And then go into the store and like the lineups just being like the most insane line
That you've ever seen in your entire life
That is that that is a slice in comedy. I I hate to say things have changed, but they have you know
I think it's changed for
Changed for the better for a lot of things. I think it'll be fun to go down
Like me and you were talking about going down to austin and getting to experience that world
That's going to be fun spend an old there
September I will meet you in austin
I'm going to do uh jre. I think hopefully hopefully with uh
The creator the sopranos david chase to promote the movie that comes out september 24th. So that's what I'm hoping
So I love to see you down there. I'd love to see you when you come back from uh, where the fuck you're going
And I got I'm gonna I'm gonna be going. I'm gonna be once everything opens up
I'm gonna be traveling a lot and going
Go out to new york and spend time in new york, you know
Like and go all right. I want to I want to see big j
I want to I want to spend some time at the in the city doing spots
I want to go out and see you and terry and mercy. I want to come
I'm gonna you know go out to where all you guys are have dinner with everyone
Like voss and florentine and you and like go like I really want to
because I think you know
Go to austin and stay there for like I was telling joe. I was like, you know
I'm gonna be there for a week every month to do two bears one cave
and
I go I plan on
being a regular
In austin and you know and being a regular in la and just looking at things and the way that things work now with zoom
You can live wherever the fuck you want if you want to travel. Yeah, if you want to travel you can travel
Bird I I miss you I miss your family. I miss you so much, man
I don't know what you're gonna do once tom leaves that's your other support half over there
It's just me and whitney
We had like and burt and bill, you know bill is like on nowhere, you know, uh, Sebastian
Sebastian still stayed
Yeah, has anybody talked to him?
Yeah, I did I did I'm he's doing a podcast. We're doing a podcast in a week
Um, I just did is I just did one of his shows with him. He's great. He's I mean
It's a small group that's staying out here
But I think you got you know, you guys will come out for you know for at times to shoot stuff and do stuff and
Maybe the stories
I'm gonna let this blow over
I'm gonna fall in love with stand up again. Yeah
And then uh, we'll see each other
But if not just plan on september and austin for sure september and austin let's make it a date
Date it's done. I love you. I love you joey. I'm happy you took the time today to do this because I was just dying to see
I was telling
People that you know, we talk that's great. You talk on the phone. You say hello
But to see somebody and to see him a year later and to see how we've progressed and that was still here and that
Our podcast is still good and we're trying it's it's just fucking great bird
I miss you. I'm gonna miss you when you're away
If you could text me from time to time and just say what's happening motherfucker
I don't think I could I don't think my text will reach half around the world but uh
Just keep me posted say hello everybody and keep loving those girls because I know
I think that's what happened here also our house got so much stronger
There were two things that were gonna happen for guys like you and me
Either we were gonna divorce leon
And or terry or our love was gonna get stronger
Either they realized how much of a loser we were when we were around full time
Because you and I were type of guys that we're around full time. We're big
You know what i'm saying? There's booze. There's reefer. There's smoke coming out of the fucking rooms
and uh
What's the story on netflix? They renewing your show. What have you heard? I don't know. I don't know
I'm I'm kind of just playing it by ear. I got so much other shit going on. I'm like
I want it. I love working for netflix, man
Netflix was the greatest goddamn partner that i've ever had during this pandemic because that was a great fucking show
A special on the cab and both come out during a pandemic and everyone's got netflix
I could not thank those group of people enough enough for the opportunities they've given me
I will do whatever they want to do in the future. I will do it for whatever they want to pay me. I don't give a fuck
They fucking I had so many people come up to me and compliment me on the cabin
Oh, dude, you murdered the cab because I forgot all about it. That's how fucked up
The the pandemic took me all away from it. Then I saw a trailer for it
And i'm like fuck they cut me from the fucking from it killed it did it was like the number one
um
Unscripted series on netflix for like a few weeks
Like uh, it was like trending it was trending
You like when you if you can get trending that's fucking
That's big numbers and it it murdered it was I got a call from netflix right when it
Right when it's dropped and they were like they were like enjoy your success
Enjoy your smash it and I went holy shit. Now. I know what an emu is. I never knew what an emu was before that
Now I know what the fuck we did that all before cancel culture was big we did everything
And you were telling us don't do it. Don't do it. I don't want to be in this
I just uh, my daughter, you know, she's getting older. So
She's thrown away. She's getting rid of some toys and in the garage when I pulled in today
You know, I knew I was gonna talk to you today
But for some reason I looked at you know, she's got her Barbie doll houses
Downstairs and she goes, I'm gonna get rid of them dad and today I looked at him and I thought about
The night raffi fell on your doll houses
If I don't think about that once a week, I'm lying to you
I think about I wish I had video of that
I wish I had do it was doing video on the podcast because my favorite was me and you raffi's sitting right there
You're sitting right there. I'm sitting right there and you're telling me a story and raffi falls asleep
And you don't stop telling the story
You just look at me raise your eyes point to him and go
And you just keep telling your story and we can hear him going
And he kept saying play at his vape is too strong
He kept hitting the vapor pen
He kept saying play at this vape is too strong. But when he fell in the doll house
I remember you and I wanted to laugh and we couldn't and I remember he had me outside and I could not fucking laugh in this face
I'm like raffi. I gotta go when I got in that car
I just broke down. I remember I went around the corner
I passed the starbucks and I had to pull over off the laurel canyon and laugh
And call you and you were still laughing so
Every week you're in my thoughts when I think of raffi falling into that fucking doll house
I love you cocksucker. Thank you very much for coming on today my best
To your family and we'll talk when you get back, but I'll see you in austin in september
Awesome joey send the girls my love. I'll talk to you brother. Love you brother. Stay black you too
All right. I hope you enjoyed it as you can tell the love is still there between us
Nothing ever ended
I wish him all the best. I love that you guys love him
I love that he became berg christian. I love that he's the fucking party animal that he is
And uh, you guys saw what I saw when I looked at that
Thank you very much for watching
Thank you very much for your support. Thank you for your support on patreon and all across the board. Listen when it comes to this podcast
It's all i'm doing right now. So i'm gonna give you 100 percent of my heart into it. All right
Thank you very much for watching and now
For a word from my motherfucking sponsors
All right, I want to thank you guys for listening and on a wednesday morning. Bert was great, uh
You could tell by our conversation that we really dig each other. I still miss him. I miss him as fuck
I'm gonna miss him when he leaves for fucking three months. Who am I gonna call? Who am I gonna bother ghost buses?
But i'm happy you guys got to see him
And i'm happy we got to do the podcast but before we go
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I want to thank everybody. Thank you for hanging. Thank you for watching
And uh, have a great weekend. I'll see you motherfuckers monday
Tip top magoo with another podcast. Thank you
For supporting the fucking joint and patreon everything else you do. Love you motherfuckers
You