Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #059 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It’s Monday, April 26th..... Today, it’s Uncle Joey gives it to you straight..... This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter & CBD Lion...... Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY Go to https://www.CBDLion.com and Enter Promo Code: JOEY or CHURCH And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, April 26th. The joint is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Are you hiring right now? Let me ask you something. What kind of person are you looking for? Maybe you need somebody who wears a lot of hats. Finding that person is hard.

It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, or even if you have a simple position afield, it could take forever to find the great fit. That's where Zip Recruiter comes in. You find qualified candidates fast. Try Zip Recruiter for free right now. Free, free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Joy. Whether you need to hire a cook in Calabascas,

an attorney at Arkansas, or a mascot in Missouri, Zip Recruiter's matching technology hooks you up with people who have the skills and experience that you need. And then it actively invites them to apply for your job. In fact, Zip Recruiter is so effective that four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.

So right now, just for my listeners, that's it. You can try Zip Recruiter for free. Joy, what are you talking about? You can try Zip Recruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Joy, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Joy. Try it for free. I get credit for sending you there. Once again, you're looking for an employee.

Listen to me, Zip Recruiter will find the best person available for you. Try it for free just by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash Joy. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. The joint is also brought to you by an introducing CBD lion. They've just come out with a new hemp flower and they've come out with a new melatonin CBD gummy. I have not tried it yet.

I will try them tonight and let you know because you don't mean I switch my stuff every night. Some night I do the kick them all. Some night I do the melatonin from on it. Tonight I'm gonna try the melatonin CBD lion gummies. Listen, when it comes to CBD, CBD lion is fucking making waves. Why? Because they explain it to you.

They let you know exactly what's going on. Go to CBD lion.com. Read the third party lab results and while you're there, register to win a PlayStation five. I think the contest runs till April 29th. Registered, no purchase required and they're still running their 420 sale, I think, which they were giving away up to 35% discounts.

But listen, whether they are or they're not, go to CBD lion right now and do me a favor. I don't want you to buy nothing. I want you to read. I want you to read and learn what's available to you. Whether you have insomnia, whether you have aches and pains, whatever you have, CBD lion has a solution. But it starts by you going to CBD lion.com, reading,

comparing and finding what works for you. Is it gonna be the back balls? Is it gonna be smoking it through your lungs? Is it gonna be the pills? Is it gonna be the CBD cream? Is it gonna be the roll on? Is it gonna be the tape? This is why it's important

that you go to CBD lion.com right now. Read and if you find something you like, press in Joey or church and get 10% off sent right to your fucking house. No more buying CBD at a liquor store, at a shoe store, from some fucking guy that can't even fucking, they didn't even get his fucking high school diploma. Needed to die, but I know my fucking reefer.

That's all that matters. So do me a favor, go to CBD lion.com right now, press in Joey or church and get 10% or 20% off. I don't know what they're doing. Every week is different with them. They just take care. And if you spend over 75 hours, you get a free gift and don't forget to register for the PlayStation five.

No purchase required. Press in Joey to get your discount. Now, without further ado, let's get this motherfucking party started. Cause it's a Monday and I know you cocksuckers you're gonna wait for me all goddamn day. Candles are lit. It's seven o'clock cocksuckers.

Hey, how you doing? Come on in. Okay, one, two, welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, April 26th. We're almost out of the motherfucking weeds. Another month down. Let's start off by talking about the,

listen, I don't like talking about the UFC cause it's Rogan Stings. He's the master of this shit. I don't have MMA people on here, nothing like that. But I do want to talk about what happened Saturday night cause it was a tremendous fucking card. I don't watch all the cards. Like I didn't watch the steep A card.

I didn't watch that fight. I didn't watch the fight before. I got shit going on now and I'm a little busy. But this week's card, I got a hand at the Dana White. You know what I mean, dog? I talked shit, but that fucking card was pure heat. And I go, what the fuck? I was looking forward to the card all goddamn week.

And I knew I was in a place of bet. I started looking like around Tuesday, but I got to make a confession to you guys today about how I gamble just so you know. It's this easy and this is a secret and it's been winning for me lately. I just don't say nothing about it, but let's start on how I do it.

First of all, I got introduced to gambling as a child. I enjoyed sports gambling, but I hated paying the fucking bookie. Okay? Big fucking, big problem there. You can't fucking gamble and hate paying the fucking bookie. So I said, if it's either between gambling or snorting coke, both of them are vices,

which vice am I going to go with? I picked behind what was curtain number two. I went with the cocaine because at least I'm looking out windows and I'm crawling and I'm looking and carpeting and I got a jerk off and you got dead dick. There's challenges. Why am I going to gamble?

It's easy. I'm just going to give some place a bet and I'm going to fucking lose because I'm a loser. I didn't know how to read fucking lines. But then I went to work for a sports betting service. Okay? And I'm going to give you guys a big secret. One of the things of a sports betting service

when they call you and they go, Mike, how you doing? Pete Pitello here, fucking Johnny Steele. I got a fucking parlay for you that's going to knock your mother's pamphlet out of the fucking hair socket. And you're going, you're a degenerate gambler. So you're going to fall for it.

You're going to go a fucking parlay, holy shit. That's, that's what I'm looking for. What's it going to cost me? Well, it's going to cost you 300 to make a $3,000. Fuck you, John Steele. I don't know if I want to fucking do that. You're a phony. Okay.

What I do, what you usually do as a sports betting salesman, as you go, okay, fine. I'll tell you what, you don't want to fucking sign up with me, fucking great. Have it your way. I'm not going to sit here and argue with you over $300. But you know what? I'm the type of guy, I'm a Christian.

Let me help you out a little bit. What are you betting? And they'll tell you, don't go. I have Jessica Andrade and I have Uriah Fabe, Uriah Hall. Okay. Automatically, my response is to say to them, even though I don't know Dick, I know nothing about nothing.

I don't know about training camps. I don't know about fighters. My response to fuck with their head is to automatically say, listen, one of your sides is right, but one of yours is opposite, but we'll give it out tonight. So you're going to lose. You don't tell them what the team is.

You just keep him fucking. You just fuck with that person. And it fucks with their head. All night they're going, fucking Johnny Steele, tell me I'm again. When Johnny, you know what your chances are when in that ballet, slim and fucking none. So the next day I'm going to call you as Johnny Steele

and go, Johnny Steele here. Didn't I fucking tell you? You had the wrong side with Jessica Androd, Cocksucker. Jessica Androd's a great fucking fighter, but you don't know what, you know, you don't know which one's going to show up. Last night she had the other monster head, dude. You know, she showed up with the fucking

Martin Moreno look about a year ago and she threw Rose McGonis on a fucking head. You don't know what she's going to show up with. So there was so many fucking different great cards to fight last night. So I looked at the Usman against George Mazdabal fight. There was too much emotion in that fight. Plus I'm friends with George.

This is why when you live in Jersey, you don't bet the Giants or the Jets because you get emotional. They are your teams, you grew up with them. The Nets, you don't do what I was growing up was the Nets and the fucking Giants. Rule number one, my friends would say, don't bet them because you're betting with your heart,

not with your head. So I stayed away from the fucking Mazdabal fight. I liked Valentina and I liked the other girl. The Rose? No, the other girl, but I wasn't sure. Valentina is a fucking hard hitter, but I didn't know if this girl was going to pick her up and body slammer.

When she did it against Rose, I didn't think it was going to happen. The Anthony Johnson against the Australian AC DC came out the highway the hell I liked it. I didn't know anything about him. I know Anthony Johnson's a killer, so I couldn't just bet that one on a roll. And I kind of liked your Ryan Hall,

but I liked Chris Wildman. He's a good guy. I didn't want to bet against him, so I was left in a fucking pickle. So now I'm left with fucking Thug Rose and Yen, the girl, the Chinese girl, who I fucking think is tremendous, right? So I'm looking at this thing and I'm going,

just so you guys know what I do. So you guys know what I'm doing in that. I'm telling you one of my secrets. The most people don't tell you your secrets, I tell you everything. Here you go. So the only thing I had left was Thug Rose and the Chinese fight.

So I looked at it and Thug Rose was an underdog. You got to jump on that all day long, unless you're fucking retarded, unless there's something wrong with you. How can Thug Rose an underdog? You got to jump on that, blah! It takes you back to a couple of weeks ago when Stipe fought Ngaio, whatever his fucking Ngaio,

whatever his name is, the big African guy, not from Nigeria, from the other place. But remember he was a fuck, Stipe was an underdog? How many people bet Stipe that night? A lot of motherfuckers bet Stipe that night. I didn't, even though I'm a big Stipe male, oh, Jake Fang, because I saw the fix was in. He's an underdog.

They want you to bet that. They want you to say, how can he be a fucking underdog? So I said, fuck, I don't want to bet Rose just in case. I think Rose could take her, but I don't know. But then, thank God, the Draft Kings, they have the over and under on the fights and they have the boost.

So what do I do? Even with the dirty screen, I put, when I put those things up at night, like I loves Ion Williamson. I love betting New Orleans. They always cover for me. But I always put, when I'm gonna bet New Orleans up, listen, when I bet during the week on the NBA,

it's 25 bucks, guys. I'm not getting rich here. I'm just doing it because I'm having a great time. With Draft Kings, and I get to watch the game for a quarter. You know, it's on TNT or something like that. I watch the game while Mercy's in the bathtub or something, the game starts at 7.15.

And I watch it just to see how Zianna's doing. But when I put that up on Twitter and Instagram, it's not to fucking promote it. It's to see what you guys say. Because if you guys come back to me and go, if I, even though I'm, let's say, I love Anthony Johnson last night, right? Even though I love Anthony Johnson,

I knew he's gonna win. I'm gonna put it on there, and I'm gonna see how many people are gonna go with Anthony Johnson. If I see too many of you knuckleheads like Anthony Johnson, I stay away from Anthony Johnson because it's, you have to go against the fucking crowd to win in book making.

So when you look at someone, everybody fucking likes them, like everybody likes them, you gotta fucking be careful. So what I'd usually do at night is when I tweet those things or I Instagram them, I do it to see your reaction. All he has said rose last night,

not one he has said when. So I was like, fuck, now I can't bet rose, but none he has made a comment about the over and under. Not one he has looked at, it was 4.5. That means it gotta go five fucking rounds. Both of them, Trevor Whitman trains fucking Doug Rose and what Bruce Lee's uncle trains, the girl from China, dead both very technical strikers.

I knew somebody was gonna get knocked out. So 4.5 rounds, that was my best bet of the fucking night right there. That's why I went with that. So when you see I put those things up at night for DraftKings, I'm just trying to get a reaction out of you motherfuckers, cause you'll tell me who to bet.

If I see that too many years like New Orleans, fuck it, I'll stay away from New Orleans and sure enough, they'll fucking lose because all of you guys like them. And I'm not saying you guys are the kids of the debt. I'm just saying that it's just a statistic. It's just a statistic to go against the fucking whatever. Like last night, once I placed that bet, Lee called me.

You think I pick up that phone when Lee, when I got a bet going, I don't pick up the phone with Lee, why? Cause he's the kids of debt. My fucking luck will run the fuck out with Lee. I know when it comes to gambling, you don't want to Lee around. Trust me when I'm telling you,

you might get hit in the head with a bolt of fucking lightning. You never know. So when his name came up last night on the phone, before the fight, I was like, fuck no, I'm not going to take a chance by fucking taking this thing from Lee, whatever, no. I'll just watch my little,

and I got to tell you something, the fight was fucking tremendous. I got up in between the Valentina fight. I went upstairs, I made my little Michael Jackson tea blend last night, my little fentanyl blend. I don't even have fentanyl. I just call it my little happy new new blend.

I came downstairs, I drank it during the fucking Thug Rose fight, which lasted one fucking round. I finished in the middle of the fucking Usman, whatever, dog. When that fight finished, and my heart goes out to Mazvedal. You guys know I'm a big fan of his,

and I love him to death. Usman is just, was a little better last night. That's it. And it happens. Hey, listen, man, what goes up must come down. You could only go up so far, and then, you know, and I knew this going in and it happens with comedy,

it happens with everything. You know what I'm saying? You have a window to fucking do what you need to do in this life, and you want to make the best of it. And that's it. But that's my gambling secret that I wanted to tell you. That's why I post shit during the week.

If I'm going to gamble at night, I chest it out on you guys on Twitter. You didn't know Uncle Joy was a sneaky fuck, did you? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now to the heart of the matter, what happened last week, guys? I didn't see you guys a lot last week, and I'm very sorry.

I'm very sorry about 420. I woke up Tuesday morning to a fucking missed call from my sister that the lady who raised me died Mrs. Runny, rest in peace. It was fucking 420. 420, out of all the fucking days. What is the weirdest thing on everything that I moved in with them?

Like the week that Reagan got there, we're gonna try and assassinate him. It was the week of April 21st, 1981. Life has a weird way of fucking working things out, man. And I saw it this fucking week. So I wake up Tuesday morning, ready to smoke pot. I was gonna break my own rule and do an edible fucking by one o'clock.

I had 200 milligrams picked out. I was gonna eat them, the whole fucking thing. I get the call at 8.40, you know, that she passed. As soon as I looked down, I was like, fuck. I saw who was calling, I answered, and they told me she passed, and they were gonna do the wake on Thursday and Friday and whatnot, and I just sat there for a few minutes. Listen, guys, I wasn't as upset as you thought I was,

because I had made my peace with it. I had been expecting it. I felt bad about my brothers and sisters. I felt bad about my brother. They lost a wife and a mom in a year. He had a barrier wife and a mom. So that's what I felt fucking bad about. So I didn't hang up the phone with him.

I wasn't off the phone 10 minutes. I went upstairs, I had breakfast with my wife. I put my daughter on the fucking bus. The whole thing, I went in the shower. I got out of the shower, I got another miss call. Another friend of mine, his mom was having a hard time going to the bathroom, and she had stomach pain, and she had to get rushed to the hospital,

and this is her baby. This is, he's one of my best friends in life, and I could hear his vulnerability on the phone. I mean, he was fucking in shock. Like the last person he has left in his life is his mom. So I could feel it in his voice. How bad he felt, you know? He was like, I had to get to the hospital.

I don't know, they found the lump in his stomach. They're gonna do emergency surgery. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start. I said, wait 10, 10 minutes. Let me fucking wash my pussy. I'll get in the car and I'll come up, and I'll hang out with you, and I'll help you out.

Whatever the fuck you need. He's my brother, what do you want me to do? So I killed like 18 birds in one stone. I got a couple bags of weed, like Goody bags. I flew up there, I sat with him. I took him out to lunch while his mom went to surgery. I made him laugh, I made him giggle a little bit. You know, I needed to get the fuck out of here anyway.

I went up there, I sat with him. Once he thought his mother was gonna get taken out of surgery, we went back to the fucking hospital. I gave him a big hug. I stopped by Rose's deli, I saw my nephew, Nicky A. I saw Mikey Chick, I dropped off a fucking bone on them, and I fucking shot back down here, and you know, it was just one of those fucking days.

By the time I got home, it was seven o'clock, it took me an hour to fucking, you know, I can't see a fucking night when I drive. In fact, I'm getting my glasses. I had to go to the optometrist last week to get new fucking glasses, real glasses, because I use reading glasses. They fuck up my eyes, and I fucking use,

I got no night glasses when I drive, so I can't fucking drive at night, so I gotta shoot down. I was gonna hang out with all those guys up there. And then Thursday, you know, sure enough, like I told you guys, I don't wanna commit anything right now. I do not wanna commit this shit right now. This summer's about my family.

I don't wanna tell you, I'm gonna be there June 21st, and then I gotta call that June 21st, my daughter has a softball game and I'll cancel. So before I do this, I don't wanna do nothing. I put some audition on tape three weeks ago. When do they fucking call? Tuesday, that's when they call. 420 in the middle of this whole fucking thing,

they call Tuesday to see if I can do a scene on Thursday. I'm like, God, this is what I'm fucking talking about. I gotta wake on fucking Thursday, but now instead of the fucking wake, I gotta shoot this goddamn thing. What do I tell the fucking family, you know what I'm saying? And they wanted me to do the COVID test, even though I had the fucking vaccine

and the whole goddamn thing. So I'm like, all right, fuck it. You know what, I need to do a little work. I need to, you know, I got this shot. What did I get this shoot for? They're sitting in my fucking house in fear. So I said, fuck it, let me go up there, work a day. I think I work a day next week.

Then I work two days at the beginning of May and I'm out of this fucking thing. And it's not a bad little movie. It's not a bad little role. So I shot up there fucking Thursday nice and early. Wednesday night, they did the fucking swab. I shot a few hours and I shot back the fuck down here. I was done, it felt great.

It felt great to act again, two fucking lines. I felt like an asshole, but I did it. And then Friday morning, I gotta tell you what happened. So Friday morning, the wake is at nine. They're gonna do like a little mass at 9.30. And then they're gonna take it to the cemetery and do all that stuff, okay? I said, I'll go up there for that.

That's even better. You know, I'll meet them at that veneer. He said, nine, the funeral parlor. And then it's so funny that I grew up in that funeral parlor. Like I grew up with that fucking dude. I love him with all my heart. He's like a brother to me. So we're all friends with a guy that owns the funeral parlor.

That's only like a fucking, that's a fucking like a TV show. Like nobody knows anybody who embalms people for a living. I know somebody who embalms people for a living. He's never told me what consistency in bombing they gotta take a secret when they get the license and shit like that. But I have a fucking idea of what they do to you. But anyway, they're not for the hero there.

So, you know, I live in fucking South Jersey. All you hear about is route nine is gonna be a motherfucker up to New York. It's a fucking heavy duty, whatever. I got up to six p.m. in the morning. I said, let me get up early. Eat some breakfast with my family. See my daughter before she goes to school.

And then I shoot up there. I'll be up there by nine. I'll do the fucking funeral, the whole thing. I'll go to the after party with the family. And I'll complete my commitment. I did what I had to do. I don't feel as bad. Listen, I don't feel as bad about this

because I've been there for 40 years. I've stayed and I kept in touch with them and I acted like a man. Like how my mother wanted me to act. I did all the things I had to do. I stayed in touch with them over the years. Mike visited me in Colorado. Mike was my best man for the wedding.

You know, when I came back here in 93, I actually stayed with Mike and his wife as Mike, his wife bailed me out of my fucking hole, helped me out financially with money. What happens 15 years later, their youngest daughter gets cancer. I have an opportunity to help them out. And I go in full swing.

I put up to go fund me, the whole fucking thing. We help out. You know, I move here. I get off the plane. I'm not even off a plane a month. His wife died. I could have came up with a thousand stories. I drove to fucking Delaware,

even though I was fucking petrified of COVID and I had to eat those fucking little footballs the whole way. It was September 7th and I was still eating those fucking Prasaman, whatever the fuck they are. Those footballs, I must eat and eat footballs just to walk into that fucking funeral. But I did because my brother needed me

and that's what a man does. I didn't know this when I was a young kid. I thought there was all about something different. No, it's about being there. I didn't know this shit. When I got up here, they told me they were gonna have a get together. I showed up to the get together.

I brought my family. When they told me she was sick, they were gonna have a few get-togethers to go down there. I fulfilled all my obligations. And for the funeral, I fulfilled all my obligations. So I didn't feel as bad at all as you guys might think. I left here nice and early. I looked at the fucking waves thing.

I gotta take waves. I don't know where the fuck I'm going. Waves, waves, I don't know what the fuck it is. I pressed that in. I pressed in the fucking address to a different place because I cut through North, I cut through Cliffside Park into North Bergen because if you go into North Bergen to Route 3,

it's fucking traffic out the fucking ass. So I said, fuck it. What I'll do is I'll hit it from this angle. But you know what? I got on the thing and I said, I would get to up by there by 8.12. I was in fucking shock. I go, 8.12.

What am I gonna fucking do for 45 fucking minutes? So in fact, I went up my old way. I said, fucking, I'm not even gonna go through Cliffside. It made me go up to Route 3, right through. I get to see my grandma school, McKinley. I got to see fucking where I used to walk behind every day. I got to see my old neighborhood. So I said, fuck it.

Let me exit Kennedy Boulevard, hook a left. I'll shoot down. I'll go, you know what I'll do? I'll go by my mother's cemetery. Say hello. I got to the fucking cemetery. The gate was fucking closed. Only me.

So I went the long way. I just went on the corner and I fucking yelled at it from outside, ma, I love you through the fucking gate. Only Uncle Joey could think of that. If you make a fucking left, if you make a right onto whatever that street is, it's Carmine Balzano's house. There's a little place there where you could pull over

and I can't really see it with my eyes, but I kind of know the area she's in. So I go, ma, I love you. Te quiero, te traño, you know, in Spanish. Some lady was walking that dog. She's like, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? I couldn't get into the cemetery. The top thing was closed and the back gate was closed.

So I fucking hooked down a tunnely avenue, straight up, shot up fucking 64th Street, 76th Street, what's 64th Street? 76th Street, I hooked it right down there and I sailed right into fucking Venere's like I own the joint. I get there and it's fucking 812. I look around, I go, there's nobody fucking here. What am I gonna do? So I call Mike and they go, we're over here eating breakfast

right around the corner. So I went over there. I got to sit with three of the brothers and the sister Joan, we ate breakfast, we bullshit. I gave them all that little joint for fucking afterward because I got a little ranch drone at me that day. That Thursday night, I got a call. You ready for this one?

I got the screen, the soprano flick, the many saints in Newark. I'm not gonna tell you anything about it. All I can tell you is I saw it. Get the fucking hint, you understand me? That's all I can tell you. Look, I saw it, tremendous, okay? Those eyebrows are a good thing.

So they told me the screening was at 11. So I go, fuck, I can't go to the fucking burial, but that's fine, we'll work it out. All I need to do is hug my brother, hug them, let them know I was there for them, bullshit with them. We had breakfast, the whole thing, but then there was more fun to be had. Then I went over to Venere's

because we had to be over there at nine so they're like, are you driving? What are you gonna do? I'm driving, try it around the corner. I mean, I could've walked over there. It wasn't even worth the drive, but I couldn't leave my car there on where I was because they give you tickets every two fucking hours.

Ah, so I fucking go up to Venere's, I park in Venere's funeral parlor there, and my buddy Tommy Sharp comes down and he's like, hey man, are you gonna stay for the funeral? I go, no, I gotta fucking go into the city, but I'll come back at like two and pick up the fucking car. He goes, just turn it around and point it that way

so we know that you're part of the funeral thing. I go, all right, no worry, I turn it around. I walk into Venere's funeral parlor. Like I said, I've known Anthony for fucking 40 years, 45 years, I've been friends with Anthony. We were fucking kids. That funeral parlor, I used to work there as a kid, I would open the door for people,

we used to pick up bodies. I did everything for them, you know what I'm saying? I mean, he's my brother. How many times do we go to Kennedy Airport to pick up a body, Newark Airport to pick up a body? So I know the parameters of the place. I know it's creepy, but what do you wanna do? It is what it is.

When I was 17, 18, I had to do whatever I needed to do to pick up the small 40. You know, he paid me 40 bucks to take a ride to pick up my body, 40, 50 bucks. You know, he gave me like 35 hours of funeral, I had to open up the door for people, I'm sorry. You know, you don't know what it's like to open up the door for people and look at them and go,

I'm sorry, it's a fucking nightmare, but that's what I did. I was just, yeah, I used to have a nice shirt, my jacket, I'm sorry, and they would walk the fucking. So I walk into the funeral parlor. I don't even, I see a bunch of people mingling, I look into the office and I see that the office is completely empty. My buddy Anthony, I don't know what a fucking Anthony is.

Now, when I was a kid, me, Anthony, and another kid, Roger, got arrested, so our total relationship was based on busting each other's balls. So we would call Venere's and the father would go, hi, Venere's funeral parlor, we would go, I wanna rock, rock, and we would hang up on them. And Anthony would tell them, who the fuck calls up there and says, I wanna rock and all this shit, you know.

Shit like that, you know, we used to run over, whenever there was a cemetery, whenever there was a funeral, there were a little orange, what do you call those orange things they put out? So you don't run, you know, cones, they used to be orange cones, and me and Roger used to run them over at night, we used to run them over while he was standing in front of the thing for a funeral

with the family standing outside, while they were waiting to put the body into the fucking car, there'd be little yellow cones, orange cones, and me and my buddy Roger and Stinky would run right over him in front of him. He would just close his eyes and shake his fucking head, so we'd been busting his balls in the funeral capacity for years, so I see that he's not sitting in his chair,

nothing bothers him more than when somebody sits in his chair, so what do I do? I go, I sit in his chair, and I wait for him to come back, he comes out with a bagel and cough, he's like, what the fuck is going on? I go, Doug, sit over there, it's different, change it up for once, I could tell he wasn't too fucking happy, but I didn't even think about it,

you know, I went into the parlor, I saw the rest of the runny family, the cousins, fucking the grandkids, the nieces, the nephews, it was fucking tremendous, I saw a little baby, my niece Kelly, had a little fucking baby, I got to see her, her husband, it was, that was the best part about it. Then I walked into the fucking, you know, where they have the casket and stuff,

and there was an open casket, old school, and there was a bunch of pictures, and I looked at the pictures, you know, and I was like, wow, you know, I put my glasses on, I was like, this is fucking crazy, you know, they had pictures of me in the living room, and 40 fucking years, you know, and I went, I knelt down, you know,

and right away, the fucking comedian in me has to come out, you know, I say my little fucking prayer, but I don't know about you guys, I don't know if you've ever been to a wake, I don't know if you go to wakes, I don't know if you're practicing waker, there's people like going to wakes, I don't like going to wakes,

and I'm gonna tell you, one of the things that bothers me the most at the wake is that you have to go up to the body, and if you're Catholic, they usually have a little place where you kneel down, and you're saying, oh, father, or hell, marry, or whatever the fuck is it that you're gonna say, you know, I'm Catholic dog, I, you know, I know they're pedophiles and shit,

whatever, but I gotta stick to the rules for right now, I'm 58, you guys are 20, you got plenty of time to make good with God, I'm 58, I go on any day, I gotta stay on this good side right now, so I can't be talking shit right now, so I go in, I kneel down, I don't know about you, motherfucker, when I kneel down, when you kneel down, you're supposed to put your hands like this,

like praying hands, put your head down and close your eyes, listen, whenever I pray, I close my eyes, but when I pray in front of a dead body, I always got one eye open, I don't give a fuck if it's my mother, I don't give a fuck if it's my uncle, I don't give a fuck who it is, I don't give a fuck if it's an enemy or it's a loved one, I got my eye open, looking at that fucking hand,

do you understand me, dog, I could tell you how many wrinkles they have in their fingers, even without the glasses, when I go to a fucking wake, I'm praying, but I'm praying when one eye closed, dog, I got one eye on that body in case that motherfucker pops up, I got to jump on that motherfucker, I watch the walking dead and it's uncomfortable, I don't like none of that shit,

part of the embalming thing is breaking spines and a lot of shit, and bombing, and because I heard about stories, like that arms could pop up, like if an arm pops up, yeah, if rigor mortis sets in, you got to break the fucking arm, and then, can you imagine being at a fucking funeral and your grandmother's arm pops up,

and next thing you know, they got to come with a hacksaw, like the guy in Snatch, when they cut off Patricia Dottaro's hand, you got to cut off their fucking hand, listen, I don't know anything about it, I don't want to see it, when I fucking go to one of those goddamn things, I keep one eye shut and one eye on that fucking dead body,

because if that motherfucker squiggles a little bit, you're never gonna see me, dog, you're gonna see my fat ass, I'll run up against anybody in the Olympics, bring the Chinese, bring the Iranians, I'll outrun any of those motherfuckers, when I laid down, I kept my eye open, I said my prayer, I thanked her again for taking me in,

I told her to say hello to my mother, don't forget to say hello to my mom, she's gonna thank you for taking me in, say hello to Rob for me, her husband, Mr. Runny, and I got up and I fucking hung out with the boys for another 30, 40 minutes, we bullshitted, just what a family does, I'm part of the fucking family, man,

and I got in a car, the guy texted me and said, I'm out of here to pick you up, to take you into the city to see the Soprano movie, I left my car and I went into the fucking city, and you know what, man, I sat there and I watched that movie, I didn't feel guilty, I didn't feel anything, I enjoyed myself because I did what I had to do, and I fulfilled my commitment for 40 of being friends,

being involved with the Runnies for 40 fucking years, I mean, for a guy like me and for a guy to know the type of person I am, the piece of shit that I was, for me to keep in touch with these people for 40 years for what they did, I look at it as a feather in my cap and I'm very proud of myself,

so with that, you know what I'm saying, I mean, that was the fucking week I had, but I'm very, very sorry, I didn't make a 420 video for you motherfuckers, you know what, I got 800 podcasts, go look at them, there's me smoking dope in all those motherfuckers and heavy duty fucking reefer, not what I'm gonna do now,

right now, listen, the other day I cheated on you motherfuckers, I didn't smoke till 222, that's how bad I'm getting, that's how bad I'm getting, I could tell that, I could tell that this, you know, I just had to bring down the numbers guys, I'm smoking reefer, that's 35 fucking percent, I'm smoking reefer, I smoke with people, I look at them and they're like fucking,

you know, and I don't basically get high, so I'm like, you know what, let's give my lungs a break, I've been getting a lot of messages lately of people saying, this pandemic, I smoked a lot, I realized that I really started smoking a quarter a week, a half ounce a week, I'm giving it a fucking break, there's nothing else to do, it's like people were drinking alcohol,

I just got off the phone with a dear friend of mine, who said that he got together with another dear friend of mine, and he goes, I don't know if you've talked to him lately, but his alcohol problem has fucking tripled, and I'm like, Doug, what did you expect during the pandemic? What did you expect during the pandemic? This was the time, listen man, I went off the fucking chains from April to September,

I was part of the fucking problem myself, you know, I told my wife yesterday, I'm the kind of person, don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to do, and I'm gonna tell you why, I'm not telling you in a threatening way, I'm not telling you as a bad guy, I don't want you to tell me what to do, I'm the type of guy, I don't want you to tell me what I have to do, I wanna figure it out on my own,

I know what I have to do, let me figure it out on my own, when I'm ready, when I'm good and fucking ready, I'll adjust to it, I don't like when somebody has to tell me something, I've made up my life, that's one of my life goals, not let somebody, like I didn't want somebody to tell me, hey bro, it's time for you to leave the company store, look at you, you got white hair,

you got wrinkles on your face, you're a fucking embarrassment, you're a fucking old man, get the fuck out of here, not that I'm saying that's the point, but I'm just saying to you, I don't need, you know, people saying to me things, I told my wife yesterday, you know, last night we were talking and I go, we went out to dinner, I didn't tell you guys this, that watch the podcast, I tell you everything,

so I'll tell you this, when I got here with my wife August, you know, I was going through fucking, whatever the fuck I was going through, the anxiety was high level, and little by little it came down, but every time I was around the public, I was really melting, the only thing that kept me together was eating those 30 milligram hashtags and the fucking, you know, A-B-X and fucking

the little footballs, the fucking Zalapram, the footballs, I didn't know what else to do, I was falling apart and I decided I'm not going to lie to you guys, and one night we went out to dinner, me, Florentine's child, my child, Jim and his sister and my wife, and the next day at breakfast, not with my daughter there, my wife was like, hey man, last night at dinner, you were a little fucked up,

than usual, you were nodding and shit like that, and I go, I know, I got to get something together and within one week I put my plan together on how I was going to get off the benzos and how I was going to get off edibles and how I was going to switch the edibles so I could start going to bed at fucking 11 o'clock at night, you know, I did this on my own, I felt bad

that my wife had to say something to me, but I knew eventually I had to fucking stop this, I had to stop the way I was living, even though I had insane fucking anxiety, this wasn't going to work, this was not going to fucking work, I knew when I came and I got on the scale and I was 316 that Jesus Christ, I put on 20 pounds and I haven't even been here a fucking month yet,

so I knew all the things that had to go down, you know, and you know what, look, I look a lot better, I feel a lot better, I sound a lot better, when I switched to whatever, you know, my daughter walks in at four and she walks into the fucking downstairs, and then when I was having the surgery, you know, I was downstairs half the time,

she would come downstairs and check on me, you know, my daughter's like I was when I was her age, I knew what was going on, I just didn't say nothing, you know, she's not a stupid kid, she smells like marijuana, she's never physically seen me smoke, she doesn't see any of the pipes, she's never seen a bong, nothing,

but she does smell it. Has she ever said anything to me? No, because she knows, and she's known since I lived in California, because when I lived in California, I had a back bathroom behind my office that led to the outside, so I could open the door and go outside

and smoke the bong and lock the door to the bathroom, do you know how many fucking times I came out of that bathroom and she was sitting on the computer waiting for me, and I'm fresh, I mean, yeah, I gargled with listerine, I washed my hands, but you could still smell it in your fucking clothes, she's not stupid, but yesterday,

I smoked in the fucking house, or was it yesterday, maybe Saturday or Friday, I smoked in the house, she wasn't home, it was in the afternoon, she's in school, I went upstairs and when I came down the stairs, it wasn't like I smelt it downstairs, I smelt it by the front door, and I was like, thank God my wife isn't home,

because any day now, I'm not gonna be able to allow her to smoke in the house, I think this is the last week, I think this is it from now on, I'm gonna smoke outside when I do smoke, because this is what you need to do, this is what needs to be done, I don't want her to catch me, you know,

it's, listen, if I wanna smoke a joint at night, why don't I roll a joint and just go down the corner, there's a parking lot, there's restaurants, there's pizza places, and you go over there and smoke, it's no big deal, as a kid, I went for a ride and smoked, I don't wanna smoke in my car, I'll go to a destination that's close to here, smoke a joint and then drive back,

it's a fucking half a block away, the chances of a cop pulling me over or me, hitting a pedestrian or something, a fucking slim and none, I mean, trust me, it's like two-tenths of a fucking mile to where I go smoke, and if I make a ride, I got a spot, and if I make a left, I got a spot, so these are what I have to do,

I don't want my wife to have to come tell me and go, hey dog, she's getting to that age where you can't fucking spark in the house anymore, but what I'm getting to is, I gotta be honest with you, that's why I didn't do, I was happy in a way, there was, listen, they all contacted me, they contacted me to do some big 420 thing and charge you guys 20 bucks and sit here

and for a fucking New York minute, I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I thought about renting Uncle Vinny's, I thought about getting Jesse May Paluso and Lee and Mike and going down to Uncle Vinny's on Tuesday at 420 and doing a fucking $10 ticket and smoking dope and introducing new products and you know what, this is my final conclusion,

number one, I would be lying to you because I'm not Johnny 420 no more, I'm not smoking the amount of dope or eating the amount of edibles to justify this thing to you. When I put the pictures up on Twitter and fucking whatever, it's to help out my friends over at the ice cream shop and they send me that stuff so I go to sleep at night, but I'm not popping that shit in the daytime,

look at my eyeballs, look at me, I'm not popping that shit in the daytime, so I'm not Captain 420 no more, I wish I was, I wish I was and I had the balls, I woulda charged you all $20, $15, I woulda got Jesse May paid, Mike paid, everybody woulda got paid and we woulda smoked some dope and whatever,

but that's not who I am anymore, I wish I fucking was, I really wish. You gotta hydrate cocksuckers, but that's the reason why I didn't do all that stuff, you know, I'm not the same guy I was, I wish I was, you know, I got some fucking, I got some great fucking reefer, I got some great fucking anibals,

but it's just not working for me no more, so when it does, I'll be back with type of person, would I be if I went out on there and just smoked a half a joint, oh, I'm Captain 420, the fuck outta here, I was Captain 420 at one time, don't get me wrong, I could outsmart all those motherfuckers, you guys know it and you guys saw it,

they couldn't deal with Uncle Joey, but we all grow up eventually, it's like some guy last week, I wanna do a fucking Zoom without smoking, who cares, go jump up and down, go get your skateboard and go down the hill, you know what I'm saying, and what are you bothering me for, fucking people,

yeah, one of my 10 with a hat with a propeller, I'm an old man, I'm lucky I'm fucking walking around, you know what I'm saying, but that was my week, man, and this weekend, listen, I'm adjusting to a normal life, I have not had a normal life, this is day one, guys, my mother was a bar owner, I saw my stepfather shoot a guy, you know,

my mother died, I never really had a family, guys, this shit is all new to me at 58, I mean, what I'm doing on the weekends now, I'm thinking of switching the podcast to Tuesdays and Thursdays, because my weekends, my cast kids, I got kids, it's not what it used to fucking be, I got a kid, you know, and a Saturday's on par

or something, Saturdays, I mean, this Saturday, we fucking, you know what I'm gonna believe, last week we were sitting upstairs, and we got this smell in the house, we're like, what the fuck is burning? So three nights in a row, we could smell fucking rubber, it was something to do with the goddamn generator, so Friday we had a fucking, when I came back,

or a Saturday, the generator fucking guy came, and he's like, yeah, there's something, I gotta come back Saturday and replace the fucking thing, so I didn't want Mike to come up, we're gonna shoot a video and show you, Mike, no, forget it, because, and thank God, the fucking, I knew it, I knew that it was gonna be a bad day, when I woke up I knew it,

because I heard the fucking guy down the corner was cutting 1,000 to 50,000 fucking trees, we had like 80,000 fucking Mexicans out there, with sores and helicopters and fucking, another guy with, I swear to God, they had something that was just trimming off little fucking trims, like what do you call those things that fly in the air?

A drone? Like a drone, it was the weirdest thing what they were doing, so I'm like, it would have came right through the fucking microphone, so thank God, between them drilling, this fucking guy drilling, I was like enough, I had enough fucking drills, I had to make a new hole for the,

but you know, on Saturdays, I'm part of something, guys, I'm part of a five family traveling fucking parents, and what we do is we meet, each of them have a game, we all meet at one of those games, and then we go and we support the other kids' games, and then after that's done, we all fucking pick a place and we go eat dinner, so last night, a Saturday night,

it was fucking 10 of us in a fucking pizza parlor, with the kids and the parents, it had to be 10 of us, 12 of us, something like that, it was like five kids, so that's what I'm part of now, I'm sitting there going, holy shit, what the fuck is happening with my life? You know, what the fuck are these people, they're talking about shit

that I've never spoken about before, and also I gotta catch myself and go, time out, this is what normal people do, you're the normal one here, you're the one that on Saturdays is in a hotel room getting ready to do a comedy show, I mean, I told them last night at the table, I go, guys, it's 8.30 at night,

and right now I'd be getting ready to fucking go do a comedy, like right now I would have had to leave you guys, I'd give my wife a kiss, I wouldn't need to be here, or I would have had to give my wife a kiss at seven, and kiss her and the baby and go, I gotta leave, you just gotta go do a comedy show, and I would miss all this,

I don't wanna miss this shit no more, like if I do comedy, if I go back to comedy, it's gonna be up during the week, it's not gonna be on Saturdays, because I can't, I don't have fucking time, unless I do it in the winter, I don't have fucking time during the summer, I don't wanna miss this, I don't wanna miss this,

I feel bad, there was a game on Wednesday night, or guys, it was the coldest I was all winter, do you understand me? It was 47 degrees with the wind, it was like 39, I had my knee braces on, and thank God I wore them to keep my knees fucking warm, I had knee braces on, jeans, long sweat socks, sneakers, I had a fucking thermal shirt, a sweatshirt,

a vest, that blue vest I wear, the thermal vest, and a hooded sweatshirt and a blanket, and I was still freezing my fucking ass off, I felt like I was in San Francisco in September, I had a fucking football game, me and my wife were huddled up, and she had her own blanket, and I had my own blanket,

she's like, we should have brought coffee, I go fuck you for what, every time we would have picked up the coffee, I would have froze to death, what am I gonna bring up fucking coffee, think well, coffee don't do dick in that cold weather, but we sat there and we watched four innings, a girl's baseball this week,

I mean, listen, all right, the game started at five and it goes till 6.30, it's like four innings, by five after six I had to run to the car and get fucking warm and I had a pee, I had a fucking pee like a motherfucker, so I went by the car, I took my dick out, I may believe I was moving bats around and shit,

and I just, there was a fucking dog I peed, it was a circle, this fucking big, and then I peed, so it was gonna be like when my daughter stepped in the car, so I just moved the car up, right, I moved the car to the space up, so I could watch my daughter more, and I didn't even move the car up,

and some guy moves up behind me, some guy moves him behind me, him and his wife and their kids and they get out, and they stepped in right into the fucking puddle of piss, I'm like, and the guy's looking around, looking at the piss, he knew exactly what it was, he didn't know it was me, he couldn't figure it out, so I sat there for like five minutes,

just got warmed up, and then I walked back to the field, I sat with my wife, and it was so fucking cold, my wife's like, fuck this, I went back, there was a handicap spot right up front, and I pulled the fucking car into the handicap spot, I said, you know what, I don't have a fake stick or nothing like that, I'll just pay the $400 ticket, it was that fucking cold,

it was just gonna be for 15 minutes, and if a cop pulls in here now, and he wants to give me a ticket for 15 minutes for $400, I'll take it like a man, I'll suck 10 dicks and pay it, but I am not sitting in those fucking bleachers freezing, there was one grandmother who said, fuck this, this is too cold, I'm going in a car,

so I sat in there, and then when my daughter got off the fucking basis, when the game ended, we got out, we greeted her, she didn't make it, she didn't know, and nobody fucking lost their mind, but that's my new life, that is my new normal. Again, on the way home, I told my wife, aren't you happy at seven o'clock? I didn't have to nudge you to tell you,

I gotta go do a fucking stupid show somewhere or something, so I'm having a great time doing what I'm doing right now, for me, this is what's working, I'm just trying to get back to normal, I'm trying to live a little bit of a life so I can have something to write about when I go out there and entertain you cocksuckers, like I'm planning on doing,

and this was Monday, April 26th, this is the podcast for today, I'm happy you guys watched it, I'm sorry about 420, but hey, it was a good week either way, you guys still got stoned, you guys had a great time, and that's all that fucking mattered. The NFTs are coming soon, I'll break it down to you, what we're gonna be doing on Patreon

and whatever we are with them, we got one of me and Lee coming, a commemorative church of what's happening now, fucking NFT, so I'll keep you motherfuckers posted, right now at a certain time I got no dates, all I got is hopes and aspirations, I'm getting better on the guitar, I'm no fucking prince, but you know what, that's not what fucking matters,

I'm not looking to join a band, I'm not looking to be famous, I'm not looking to do anything, I'm just looking to strengthen my mind, every time I sit down and play that fucking thing, like last week, I had a bad week playing it, you know, the Rudy lesson killed me, but me and Rudy are gonna do another lesson this week,

we were gonna do one Saturday at nine, but again, I had to tell him too, it's 12, there's gonna be fucking noise, the compressor guy got my daughter, it's better if we do it during the week, so we're gonna do another lesson, and hopefully one of these days we'll just zoom one, and you guys will get to see it,

but you gotta give me some time, I'm not ready for you guys to call me a fucking fat jerk off guitar player yet, and all this shit, so with that in mind, that's it, and that's that, it's a beautiful Monday, go out there and do your thing, I got fucking two podcasts this week, I got La La Scarga on Patreon,

the Spanish podcast that comes on Monday, I got the Joe Ideas project, I got a softball game Thursday night with my daughter, I got a game Saturday night, I got a fucking Kentucky Derby party Saturday, guys, we're living our lives, last Friday night we went to a Leonard's Kinnin' live at Nebworth party at Dan Florentine's house,

I wanna thank you for inviting me, it was fucking tremendous, just I laughed my ass off, what a great fucking family, you don't know how lucky I am that they accepted me, my wife and my daughter, my daughter was fucking, it was 50 degrees, my daughter went into the jacuzzi, the jacuzzi was 100 degrees, and the pool was 50,

and my daughter was going in and out of the pool like a fucking savage, I looked at my wife, I go, what'd I tell you? Don't worry about that, because my wife's like, I don't like her outside when it rains, who gives a fuck, water ain't gonna kill her, she's like, I'm trying to raise a Jersey girl here, my daughter was jumping into the pool 54 degrees,

as cold as it was the night fucking before, put that in your fucking pipe and smoke it, so guys, just work with me, I'm having a great time, I'm just getting healthy, and when I'm ready, you motherfuckers are gonna know it, if you thought I was throwing heat before on stage, when I come back, I got a funny feeling, I'm gonna fuck you motherfuckers up for real,

I'm gonna make it like my last tour, just to sizzle you motherfuckers, that's it, and that's that, I love you guys, thank you for watching The Joint, have a great fucking couple days, we'll be back Wednesday with a Zoom, I know, go fuck yourselves, what do you expect? I can't be doing this, no, you never know, you never know what's gonna happen,

I love you cocksuckers, stay black, and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, what's happened you bad motherfuckers, I'm happy you enjoyed my little diet tribe today, obviously you don't like the fucking Zooms, you want Uncle Joey to talk to you, so I'll try to talk to you more than ever now, that I know, but before we go, real quick,

The Joint is brought to you by CBD Lion, when it comes to CBD, CBD Lion is the best, how do I know, because I've tried them all, and I've been working with this company for years, and I reached out to them, that product was so good, they're introducing two new products, maybe three new products, I don't even know what they're doing,

they're doing so many good things over there, CBD Lion, they sent me the CBD hemp flower, it comes in joints, and flower, and they've also sent me the CBD Lion, melatonin gummy bears, 1500 milligrams of CBD, and 25 milligrams of melatonin, are you fucking kidding me, or not, you're gonna sleep like a fucking baby,

if you're looking for CBD, CBD Lion is the way to go, there's not no liquor store fucking clerk, or some fucking guy from Kenya, trying to sell your shit from a, you know, go to CBDlion.com right now, read, read the third party lab results, and read how, learn how they could support whatever the hell's going on with you,

from pain, to anxiety, to insomnia, CBD Lion has the answer, whether it's smoking it, rubbing it, rolling on it, the pills, the bat ball, CBD Lion has the answer, do me a favor, go to CBD Lion, and when you check out, press in Code Joey, a church, and get 20% off to live it to your house, it was 10 at the beginning of the show, fuck it,

I changed my mind by the end of the show, it's fucking 20, all right, that's how we're doing it today, so go to CBD Lion, and tell them Uncle Joey sent you, don't forget to register for the PlayStation 5, no purchase required, you know how hard those things are to get, fucking CBD Lion has them, so once you order, you register, everybody fucking wins, go to CBDLion.com right now, pressing Joey,

and get 10% off, all right, the joint is also brought to you by one of my favorite companies ever, Zip Recruiter, why? Because they save you time, money, and fucking energy, are you hiring right now? Yeah, what kind of person are you looking for? Maybe you need someone to wear a lot of hats, stop right there, Zip Recruiter's got you,

finding that person's heart, it's like trying to find a fucking ant in one of those things, you're never gonna do it unless you got a magnifying glass, then you gotta melt them, anyway, even if you have a simple position to fill, it can take forever to find a great fit, that's where Zip Recruiter comes in, find qualified candidates fast,

try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey, whether you're looking for a cooking collar bosses, a nurse in Nebraska, an attorney in Arkansas, Zip Recruiter's matching technology, hooks you up with people who have the skills and experience you need, which saves you time, money, and fucking energy, and headache, remember the word peace of mind,

that's what Zip Recruiter brings you, then it actively invites them to apply for the job, get qualified candidates fast, in fact, Zip Recruiter is so effective that four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day, from an accountant to a zoologist and everything in between,

Zip Recruiter makes hiring easier, and right now, today, Monday, just for my listeners, you can try Zip Recruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey, again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey, try it for free, I get credit for sending you, and Zip Recruiter will help your business, whether you need one employer, 10,

Zip Recruiter will bail you out, so try it for free, just by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey, again, ZipRecruiter.com slash Joey, Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire, I wanna thank you guys again, I wanna thank Zip Recruiter, I wanna thank CBD Lion, but most importantly, I wanna thank you Savages for always supporting the podcast on Mondays and Wednesdays,

you know who you are, thank you for being here, thank you for giving me the opportunity, and I'll see you cocksuckers Wednesday morning, tip top Magoo, stay black and have a great fuckin' day, I love you.