Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #063 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It’s Monday, May 10th..... Happy Mother's Day..... This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew & ZipRecruiter..... Go to https://www.BlueChew.com PROMO CODE: JOEY Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint  Produced by: Michael Klein on IG: www.instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Twitter: www.instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

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Zip Recruiter, our smartest way to hire. Well, we might not be lying in the candle this morning because the liar went down. But fuck it. Here we go. Candles are lit. Yeah. And let's start this little podcast up. This little Bluetooth envelope for you. Kick this motherfucker, Mikey. Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, made a tent. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. We'll hear in Jersey. Jersey is the only fucking place that the weeks are beautiful. And the weekends is when it fucking rains. Wednesday, it's 80 degrees. People are out

jumping up and down. You can't go. Everybody's working. But fucking Saturday and Sunday, cloudy is fuck raining, raining on Mother's Day. But it didn't matter. It was a great fucking weekend. You know, Mercy's fucking softball game got rained out. That means we got to make it up some other time, which is great. Sunday, I fucking finally busted out and went to church after fucking years of not going to church as a family. My wife found the Catholic Church, even though she's whatever the fuck she is. And we went and had a great fucking time and a great Mother's Day. So it was a great weekend. The mystery I want to talk to you motherfuckers about today is the seven days that I have not smoked weed for. That is a fucking just miracle. Okay. Because

I'm not trying. You know, when you're not trying to do something and it happens, you're like, what the fuck just happened last Sunday? I did the album of the week for Patreon. And that was the last time I took two hits of a fucking number. And it was like, it had been like for the last three months. I noticed that I had been smoking once a month. And I noticed that I wasn't smoking in the mornings no more for my appetite. I usually get high about probably 45 minutes after I get up to eat something. And I noticed that that's it. I don't need, you know, I'm not, I'm not hungry even if I get high. So I'm smoking this 30 fucking percent weed that people are fucking dying over. And I'm not getting high. I'm not getting hungry. I'm not doing nothing. I would walk into the gym.

You know, God knows if I reek the reefer. So one day I said, fuck it. I'm not going to smoke before I'm not hungry anyway. And that's how it started. And I started, then I started not breaking the fucking church rule. You got to get high by two o'clock or go fuck your mother. So at least I would get high by 115, 140, 1250. I was doing that type of shit. Then I found myself not getting high till four o'clock. That went on for about two or three weeks. Like four o'clock, I'm like, fuck, I haven't smoked pot yet. Like I've been busy all day. I haven't run around. I'm doing this and this. And then I'm like, wait a second. If I get high at four, then I got to go to a kickboxing class or a baseball practice or a softball practice or whatever the fuck I do at

night reeking a fucking reefer. So I said, fuck it. You know what? I'll smoke when I get back from everything. And she goes in the shower and then I was going outside at night and hitting the pipe. Once the weather started churning, I go, let me go outside and I was just smoking a pipe full. That's it. So it went from just doing one pipe full a day to, and I'll tell you what, all right. So here we go. We move here. I have all this fucking anxiety, you know, like I've never had before. And this is, you know, this is what would bothers me about people that nobody knows you better than you. Like nobody knows you better than you. You know what you do when you're alone. You jerk off, you don't wipe your, you know, you do your picky nose, your fucking toenails. We all do have fucking

secrets and we know what we can and what we can't do and what we won't do. I mean, some of us have that, you know, where you're like, you know what, that thing right there, I'm not going to do that no more. Like I'm not doing that anymore. I don't care what they pay me. I don't care what they don't pay me. I'm not doing that anymore. And then there's things that you're like, I have to do that. You know, everybody has a threshold, you know. So for me, I never, listen, I wanted to get off the fucking drugs, the cocaine. I wanted to always get off the pills. I always wanted to get off the booze, but nowhere, nowhere in my manifesto did it say anything about me getting off weed. And I'll tell you why, because I found out at an early age, weed kept me together. I don't know what it had in

it. I don't know. You're half a year's late. No, Joey, Joey, you're just a junkie for weed. No, weed did something to me. We did something to me that most people, you know how today they put kids on pills? They didn't put me on pills as a young kid that would not even work in the fucking seventies. I discovered when nobody told me to smoke weed, nobody told me to do anything. I smoked weed and said, wait a second. This controls the shit that I can't control. Like my mind, you know, it was just so, I don't know what it was. It was a fixer upper. That's what it was. It helped me feel a lot better. It helped me self medicate. As Americans call it, he's self medicating. Okay. Is he bothering you? Is he jumping off windows?

Is he shooting people? Let himself medicate. That's what it takes to smoke two little pipefuls. But, you know, I was watching this Michael Vick thing a couple of weeks ago on 30 for 30. And it was after he got caught, you know, his explanation of it. And I understood it. I'm not here. I wasn't mad at Michael Vick or anything like that. What I'm trying to say was his explanation of it was, it was in this culture. Like it was a part of his culture, you know, being from Virginia to South African American, you know, in those rural neighborhoods, those urban neighborhoods, rural neighborhoods, those urban neighborhoods, that he was a part of that. And he was a victim of it or whatever. And I understand it because I came from a marijuana culture.

I really, really did come from a marijuana culture. You know, my idol, one of my favorite people in the world, Smoke Pot, which was my godfather. And at an early age, I was like, whatever they talk about, smoking weed that it makes you put on a towel and jump out the window and all this shit. That's, I don't see that with my godfather. I see a guy that smokes it and goes to the movie theaters and he giggles and then we leave here and he eats an extra fucking cheeseburger on the way out. I don't see that as a fucking, he's not doing anything criminally or nothing is wrong here. So as a young man, I already had taken in the effects of marijuana. My mother smoked marijuana, but she did it with drinking and God knows what else. So I didn't judge it on that. I didn't like

my mom smoking pot. It was my godfather that I'd watched. I watched them like, this isn't as bad as a drug as people are fucking saying it is. You know, in the seventies, this is way before the fucking egg. This is your mind on drugs and all this shit way before that. Yeah. This was like, when I was growing up, it was, it was like a, you know, it was like this fucking thing that you had to do behind fucking closed doors in the seventies. And I had somebody in my life that did it and I could see that it didn't affect him. He went to work. He was a good guy. He was good to me or it made him do his fucking laugh, different giggle. And like I said, he's an extra cheeseburger. And then, you know, I came from that culture and then I got into the fucking music culture

and the music culture, you fucking get high. That's what you do. You smoke fucking weed, animal gold, whatever, red, you know, that's what we did as fucking kids to smoke weed. And I could tell even in my cocaine days and my twenties and all that shit, there was a part of when I, what do you think? When I was doing coke, I was smoking weed. No, I wasn't. It was two different eyes. I wouldn't even try to fucking drink on a red-bowed vodka. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. So it was the same train of fucking thought. Like when I did coke, I did coke. When I got, I got high when I woke up the next morning and I was depressed and know whatever the fuck it takes from your mind. When you're sitting there going,

I'm not going to smoke coke again or snort coke again. I would smoke a joint that pick, kind of pick me up and make me think and give me a little clarity and whatever. So for me, marijuana was always a clarity drug. When I went to prison, let me tell you something, if you want me to be honest with you, I wasn't scared of going to prison at all. If you were, if you think I was worried about little snort toes and gangs, I wasn't worried about anything. My biggest concern was not smoking weed and not being able to sleep because for years, I was sold on the idea that if I didn't smoke weed, I couldn't fall asleep at night. And dog, if I didn't have weed, I could not fall asleep at night. So are you seeing what I'm getting to?

So here's the fucking deal. So I always smoked weed. It took me about 10 days when I got to prison. And you know, I was telling, I don't know, on the early podcast, I think one with Bert and one with Felicia, I said a joke that if you think people talk, if you think black people talk in the movie theater, go to prison. That makes, I mean, black people yell at movie theaters, African-Americans, if you go to prison, they talk all fucking night. How did I know that? Because my first two weeks in prison, I didn't sleep because I had no marijuana. So I would just lay there on my 10 fucking bed all night and hear Jerome, what's going on? Nothing. What's happening with you, brother? Nothing. You know, it was constant all

night long. They're yelling from the third floor down to the first floor. If I had weed, I wouldn't have heard that shit. So, but I didn't have any weed. So that was the first whatever that I had. So as soon as I got to prison, you know, one of the roughest things for me was being in the halfway house and not being able to smoke weed. And once the switch went off and I said, I realized that I tested positive for touching the coke and I realized that I tested positive because I was a junkie. I couldn't stop snorting. Once I did get it all on the control in the halfway house, don't get me wrong. I would roll a joint. I would roll the skinniest fucking joint you could imagine. And I had a punching bag and I had weights. I had like a regular, you know,

incline bench, cheap Kmart little fucking thing. I think I paid 35 bucks a month rent for the garage in Boulder. And even when I was at BCTC, the halfway house, and even when I was on community corrections, I found a way to go to that gym. I would light the joint and just go and take one hit off it, blow it and turn the joint off. And then I would punch the shit out of that bag while I was covered in sweat. My shirt would have to be covered in sweat for me to fucking finish the workout. But I swear to God for nine months, I pissed in a bottle doing that exact same thing twice a week. I would smoke a little bit and I would keep my level just the same so they could never, ever say, well, it raised or whatever, because they give you a couple extra, whatever's,

I don't, I'm not going to say milligrams or centigrams because there's going to be some smart guy that's going to say, Joey, you're wrong. It's this. And I know it is. I don't know the exact wording of it. But when you take a, a, a piss test or a drug test and the results come back, they give you a natural amount of THC to have in your body because maybe you weigh the poppy seed bagel. Maybe there's a lot of things that will give you a negative read for THC. I don't want you motherfuckers in probation now to go to your probation office and say, well, Uncle Joey said that if I eat fucking poppy seeds, I test positive and I, listen, I'm just telling you that there's a bunch of little things. I don't know exactly what they were. I'm using poppy seeds because they

were one of the ones when I was in there, this is 87. God knows what does it now. But there were certain things that gave you a positive opiates and marijuana. And one of them was those fucking things. So you have to keep it under a limit. And that's exactly what I did for nine months. I stayed in the halfway house. I was like the fucking star pupil of the program because I had turned it around. Little did they know that I was still smoking pot only under a certain level. I risked going back to prison for fucking four fucking years for smoking pot because I cannot smoke pot. That is a sad individual. That is something that's sad that I would go to somebody who has a child and say, Hey, you can't smoke pot. But if you do, they're going to put you back

in prison. I found a way to smoke pot and not go back to prison. Am I proud of it? No, not at all. But I'm just letting you guys know that it was wrong. When you have a family, you cannot do drugs and think that it just didn't work. That's why I lost that family. That was the big difference between this family and that family. That's why I lost that family because I was still getting the fuck high. When I became a comedian, show me a comic that doesn't get high. We are broken people. We're broken people. When you look at a comic, he's broken. I don't care whether you look at Dave Chappelle. I don't care whether you look at Anthony Jeslinik. I don't care whether you look at Joey Dears. I don't care if you look at Bill Burr. I don't care if you look at fucking

Kat Williams. Something in our wiring isn't right. Either we didn't get enough attention as children, something ain't right. We saw something as a child and I'm a listen, I'm here to admit it. Who knows what it is? Who knows what makes you go up and talk in front of people. And if you notice that every comic has a crutch, whether it's drugs, alcohol, sexual, we all have something that is over the fucking top. That's because we're not normal people. If you're a comic, put that in your mind and understand it. You know, the great Rudy Sarzo once said, when it comes to musicians, comics, actors, it's a thin line with the mental health disease. I know a lot of comics that have mental health problems. A lot of them. A lot more than you

may think. For example, there's a lot of us that have mental health problems. Some of them, I'm free to discuss their mental health issues. Some of them don't know they have them. I didn't know I had them. We all think we're fucking stronger than death. We all walk around thinking there's nothing wrong with us. And there's plenty wrong with us. I raised my hand. I'm number one with this, you know, but for fucking a year since the pandemic started, I've been crying anxiety to you guys. And I went on a fucking roll with those fucking little football viking and those fucking things. And that was my answer to it. But I knew deep down inside, I had to get to the root of this fucking problem. I just couldn't blame it on

the pandemic and fear. Something was not right here about my behavior. Something had led to that. So little by little, I started chopping stuff knowingly and not knowingly. Like I told you guys last week, my wife brought it to my attention the other day that she had an order to express so since October. I was going through, I don't know how many fucking expressos a day. I talked about in the Tom Segura podcast, you know, for fucking the last three or four years, I was drinking two, four, eight fucking espresso shots a day averaging eight to nine espresso shots a day. Well, last time I checked caffeine is a fucking anxiety fucking thing. You know, once you start, you know, I put hearing aids on when I did the soprano movie,

I noticed that Ray Liotta had hearing aids and I asked him once I go, Ray, do you have those because you're deaf? And he was starting to tell me, I don't even think I asked him that. I think he started to tell me about like when he's in a room and he hears like if I'm having a conversation with Mike and I'm at a dinner table and two other people are having a conversation about fucking football. I can't hear what Mike is saying to me because these other fucking people, and then to top it off, not only do I not hear those people, but I could hear the fucking dishwashers in the back slamming the dishes and I could hear the fork slamming. That's not natural. So I went to the ear doctor and he gave me fucking whatever the fuck you call it, hearing aids.

The hearing aids were great until the pandemic came and then they would fly off my fucking ears when I put the mask on. Half the time you see me on the podcast, I'd have the hearing aids and you couldn't even see them. You won't even see them. They're just a little thing. You rest on your ear, but I noticed something. I noticed that right after the pandemic started, I couldn't wear the earplugs and I noticed that my hearing loss had been less than what it was. Like, if you don't think I could, like when I put the hearing aids on, I could still hear my, I could just hear different fucking things instead of hearing what is in front of me. When I took the hearing aids off, not only did I lose that, but I also lost my hearing because putting the hearing aids in

lets your ears go to rest. Like they could like, I don't really need to work anymore. We got somebody doing all the heavy fucking lifting. So that's what happened to my ears. That's why I said, once the pandemic came and I took those things out because of the mask, I go, fuck it. I'm not going to wear these no more because they were actually taking away from my fucking hearing. You know, when I was doing those anxiety pills, guess what? They were adding to my anxiety because when I didn't have a pill in me, the anxiety fucking grew. Once I started breathing through them and meditating and breathing and fucking doing downward dog, I've been doing downward dog again, even though my fucking leg is fucked up.

I can't believe I could do it. But even though I was starting to breathe and stuff like that, little by little, I started knocking those pills off. Instead of taking eight a day, it went down to seven, six, five, four, three, and then it went down to nothing. That's how you fucking get off them because if you drop those pills right away, you'll have a fucking stroke. I didn't even know about this. Duff told me when he was on the fucking church and then I googled it and I was like, Jesus Christ, you can't even do these fucking footballs without dying. So everything I was doing, the coffee, the pills, and as much as I fucking hate to say it, because you know how much of an advocate I am, Dorifa, that early morning shot kicked in with the espresso.

You know, I mean, it's a fucking, it's like a natural accelerant for anxiety. So here I am crying to you, motherfuckers, that I can't breathe. My heart is fucking having palpitations. But what I'm not telling you is that I'm fucking drinking 19 expressos a day. I'm smoking 85 fucking joints a day. I'm eating, you know, how many edibles a day. I can't tell you the fucking anxiety those edibles give you on their own. I love ABX edibles. My man Justin at ABX is one of the best guys in the business. I love ABX edibles. They give me $0. I talk about ABX. I take ABX pictures. I post them on all my social media sites. I'll tell you why I do that because I feel they're a great fucking product.

I've eaten edibles that the next day I wake up and I'm fucking hungover. Let me tell you something. Say what you want about ABX capsules. The 200 milligrams are the hundred fucking milligrams. When I fucking eat those things, I wake up the next morning, I'm ready to fucking kill a motherfucker. There's no air lag. There's no hangover. There's no cloudy fucking mind. I am going to tell you the truth about one thing. I'm not going to lie to you guys. When I made the special tea video, the Michael Jackson video last Sunday night, I cannot lie to you. When I woke up the next morning, I did not know where I was. Not only that, I did not make the gym at 11 o'clock. I had to call the guy and tell him some fucking lie, but I did go back to the gym at 630 that night just to correct

myself here and just to come clean with you guys. That was a little overboard the other night. That was me fucking just feeling my oats. Usually, I do the fucking pen. Usually, I do just to fucking syringe alone. I don't add the ABX's in there. Not only do I eat the ABX's, but when I came down here, if you know anything about me, I probably put another ABX in there. And then I ate a couple of my wife's five milligrams Camino Edibles because they have the CBNM and the CB wine. I'm in a high level. And I also have to reach out the CBD line this week because I ran out of my fucking CBD melatonin combination. I threw a couple of those in there too. So I don't want you guys to think that it was just the FSO and the fucking and I always

put a little tincture in that motherfucker too, even though I'm not supposed to. So between you and I guys, Sunday night, the tea of debt was a little on the heavy handed. I usually don't put the fucking ABX capsules in there. I just do the syringe one tea bag and I'm tip top. I was just showing off for you motherfuckers, but at least I got the balls enough to tell you exactly what went down. Yeah. The next morning I woke up and I just laid in bed. When I went to brush my teeth, I looked at my eyes and they were fucking busted. They were busted. I mean, fucking blood shot, blood things had busted. I had a vessel that busted in 78, 79. I ate Quailoose one night and got really fucked up. And the next day my eye woke up and my vessel had

busted and my eye had turned blue. Like somebody had poked me in the eye when I was like 17 and nobody had poked me in the eye. That was me that I ate the Quailoose. My blood pressure must have gone up, but let me tell you something. Fucking Sunday night when I woke up Monday morning. And I didn't know it. Like I woke up and you know, I took my little piss and I brushed my teeth and I drank my coffee and it was like I walked upstairs. I walked down here to do some shit. You know, I do my journaling in the morning and I do a bunch of stuff. When I went back upstairs to bring the coffee cup upstairs, I was like, I got to sit down here for a second. Uncle Joey did some fucking damage last night. I was like, wow, I'm fucked up. I had to jump into the fucking

shower when everything early. I was like, I got to jump into a fucking shower. I just laid in the shower. It had to be for like 20 minutes and just let the hot water hit me. I got out of that. I'm like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go for a fucking because I was busy already. I had to jump right into the fire. Once I don't go to the gym. I got a lot of shit to do. So I said, fuck it. Let me take 15 minutes and just take a walk. And I just went up to a softball field and walked around twice. And I was like, I drank a bunch of water. I peed a little bit and I felt a lot better. That was a little over the fucking top last Sunday. And I'm sorry about that. But every once in a while, you got to see the devil. You know what I'm saying? You got to have

a good time. But anyway, going back to the motherfucking reefer. So all these things I had that were giving me fucking anxiety, you know, I was getting them out of my system, but there was still one more key in this. And that was the reefer. Now I gotta be honest with you guys. When I smoke reefer, I like to feel my heartbeat. You know, I'm not fucking around here. Like I don't do pills. I don't fucking do, you know, vapors. I don't fucking have the blow torch and do the whatever the fuck you call it. I like reefer. I put all my faith into smoke and reefer. When I sit down, reefer to me is a fucking event. I want to get high. I want to fucking drool. I want to be able to eat some ice cream. You know what I'm saying? Like you, you know,

you want to, like I had a dream about eating M&M's last night. I don't, I don't fucking know what I, why I would have a dream about eating M&M's. I don't even like them. I've cut down on sugar so much that I'm probably having dreams about even eating fucking M&M's. But you know, it's like I never intended I'm getting the reefer out, but that's why I didn't even do the 420 show. I was like, if I do the 420 show, I'm going to have to do it in the daytime. And that means I'm going to have to pop those edibles in the fucking daytime. And that means I'm going to have to smoke 25 joints in the daytime. And I can't lie to people. I can't do that no more. Why would I want to charge you 10 bucks and sit there and take two hits off

a joint and tell you I'm having a good time? I'm not having a good time. So the plan is this, last Sunday when we did the album of the week, I took two hits, nothing happened. It was that caramel apple shit from fucking ice cream shop. Those fucking joints are great. Anybody I smoked one of those with said that shit is fucking great. I took two hits, nothing happened. When Mike left, I realized my throat was bothering me a little bit. And I go, you know what, because that's what was really happening. Every time I'd smoke, my lungs would hurt. And I go, fuck, I got COVID. And now I got to go to the hospital because I kept thinking that I had COVID every time I fucking smoked. So I'm like, you know what, I'm not going through this. I'm going to cut my smoke and

take, because every time I would go somewhere and I get an email that I thought I had COVID, I would go, now I can't fucking smoke because it'll go into my fucking lungs. So I thought about Dave Chappelle and him getting COVID. I go, wait a second. If he fucking got COVID, he smokes as much as he does. I should worry about this shit. But then when he didn't get it, I go, all right, maybe I'm over fucking reacting, which I was. So I at least let myself smoke a little bit, but it was still fucking bothering me. Like I just was like, I am smoking 32 to 35% reefer. And I am not getting high. Let's be honest, this is not normal. And this is not good. What's next? 38% reefer? What am I looking for? 40% reefer?

So I said, fuck it. Let me just put the brakes on it. So here's the new fucking plan. Are you ready guys? The new plan is plain and fucking simple. We take a little time off and reefer. We get our head together. You're going to notice in about two weeks, you're going to go, Joey, your eyes are starting to look a little younger. Let me tell you something. My ex-wife used to hate when I got high because you go, she used to tell me when you get high, you look 10 years fucking old. Let's give it a couple of days. We're going to see how my fucking eyes look. You know, I could sit here. I was telling Mike before this. It's been five days, six days, seven days. I could sit here and I love to tell you, oh my God, I feel so much better.

I'm thinking quicker and I don't feel different. I would love to tell you a lie to you and say, you know, my energy is 80% up. You know, I got up and sang Fiddler on the roof. No, I don't feel no fucking different after seven days, but I did read that chart years ago. There was a chart I read online. And it breaks down exactly what happens to you when you quit smoking cigarettes. Really interesting thing I saw. So like an hour after you smoke cigarettes, what happens to your blood? Eight hours after you finish smoking a cigarette, what happens to you? 24 hours after you don't smoke a cigarette, 72 hours after you don't

smoke a cigarette, you know, a week after you don't smoke a cigarette and the list grows. It was crazy how many things changed in, you know, one hour, eight hours, 24 hours, you know, it was like your blood vows in your heart shrink a little bit, you know, your blood pressure goes down. It was just the benefits of not getting high of not smoking cigarettes for 30 days, which just you look at it and you go, okay, this is something I'm interested in doing. You know what I'm saying? I haven't seen a chart for the benefits of not smoking pot. All I know is in the past when I didn't smoke pot, I'd be very irritable. This is when I was a fucking kid though. You know, I was 27, 28, 30.

If I didn't have pot, I was irritable. Your mother sucked dicks. You know, I fucking hated life. I hated myself. I was ugly. I was stupid, you know, and I gotta be honest with you. I have not experienced any irrational behavior, any anger moods, any swings. So between you and I guys, I think this is something that my body needed. You know, I called a few of my friends, you know, unlike America, they go to therapy. I don't know. I just call my friends. I call the people that know me the best. And I think the best answer I got was from my man, Dean Delray. He goes, did you ever consider that maybe your body doesn't need it? Cause you don't have the stress you had

in LA. And I go, but wait a second, I didn't feel this fucking stress that you guys are talking about. So if I didn't feel the stress, how can I, you know, but I guess that's what's it. You know, maybe your body doesn't need it anymore. You guys see the fucking tea I make to go to sleep. That's what I need to go to sleep to stay asleep. So here's the fucking plan. The plan is this. The plan is to stay off the fucking reefer. What's the date Joey? I don't fucking know. I'll let you know first hand. If you give that much of a fuck about me, I'll give it some breather and then I'm going to flip the script. The tea goes away. The tincture goes away. The edibles go away at night.

And I just take two hits off a joint to fall asleep like this whole thing started. You follow me? This whole thing started with me narrowing it down to I couldn't fall to sleep unless I had weed. Now I smoke weed at 11 o'clock at night. If you don't think it gets me high at eight in the morning, what do you think it does? 11 o'clock at night just gives me bad breath. Doesn't do anything else. Now I got that reefer. You ever get hit with a batch of bad breather breath? It's the worst breath in the world. Now I got to fucking go upstairs, put my sleep apnea on, mask on and breathe this fucking disgusting fucking reefer breath. That's done. Now what I'm going to do is I'm going to give it some time. I'm going to smoke again.

I want to smoke. You remember smoking and passing out. Do you remember when you first started smoking pot? You would tell people, I can't smoke in the daytime because it makes me want to fall asleep. That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to switch it around so I don't have to get high in the daytime. So at night, I just take two hits off a pipe at 1030, maybe two hits off a fucking joint and it's Nappy Nunu time via fucking reefer and we're back to square one. Life is a circle and we bring it right back to where we started from and I give my liver a break, my kidneys a break, my bloodstream a break. Everybody takes a breathe. Everything in moderation. That's what life is about. It was me. I'm looking at things now. I'm looking at friends of mind.

I'm looking at friends of mind that buy weed and I see and I don't judge them. I go there before the grace of God go lie. You know, they buy an ounce a month. That's a quarter ounce a week. That's about nine joints a fucking week. That's a joint a day. In my world, good luck. That's, I was, I was tripling that. You got to remember before I left LA, I was going to the ice cream shop, formerly urban trees and I was getting three eighths of 30% stuff and going through in a day and a half. That's, that's, I would love to tell you that that's great, Joey, but it's really not good for you to have all that smoke in you and all that. It's not good for you. I'm not crying. I had a great

time fucking doing it. I'm not one of those guys that it's an AA meeting and I had a great time doing it. I still enjoy it. You don't think I fucking get high at night when I do those edibles before I go upstairs. I'm high for 30 minutes down here loving it, feeling the warmth of fucking the warmth of God's love loving it. I fucking love it. It has nothing to do with that. This has something to do with just trying to get better. It's all a part of my fucking program here. You know, I don't want to do fucking standup right now. I would love to, I would love to tell you I'm going out tonight and I'll meet you there and blah, blah, blah, but I don't want to fucking do it. You know, we change in this life.

We change and then you have to look at it and go, me, I'm going to revisit standup in August. I know right now I don't want to do it and I'm not going to bang my head off. It's just going to affect my mental health and my relationships and the fun I'm having. I'm having a great time playing the fucking guitar. Am I Jimmy Page yet? No, not really. I'll let you know when, which will probably be never, but I'm playing a lot clearer. I'm keeping my thumb behind the fucking neck. I could hear all six fucking chords now. You know, my brain stew is a lot better than what it was three fucking weeks ago. You know what I'm saying? So I'm just going to keep pushing. Nobody's quitting weed. It's no reason for you motherfuckers to sit there and go,

Joe, he's a fucking punk ass bitch. He's not smoking weed. Nobody quit. I'm just taking a breather. Trust me. I had more concerns than you had. You know, one of the biggest concerns I had when I quit cocaine was I'm not going to be funny anymore. Do you know that for three years? I snored a coke for three years over the time I really wanted to because I always felt I would lose that buck wildness. I always felt I would lose that thing that prior had. See, I don't care, but what did we find out that after I smoked, I stopped snorting coke. I became a way better standup than I was before I snorted coke. If you think I thought that before I fucking got into quitting coke, you got another thing coming. My biggest fear with quitting with quitting

cocaine wasn't quitting cocaine. It was that I wouldn't be funny anymore. Well, we both found that out. That was a lie. In fact, I got funnier, 10 times funnier, and I got more specific and I started being more colorful on stage. So you never know what might happen with this. Towards the end, I got to be honest with you guys. When I was doing standup, I was taking it so seriously. I was sick of bombing. Whenever I did edibles, I didn't, I, I felt that I wouldn't have control over the audience. So the last year I wasn't even fucking eat nettles before I went on stage. I would take a couple of hits off a joint to somewhere in my fucking pathetic junkie mind. It would let me feel that. And that's what it is. I kept smoking this whole time because of my

junkie pathetic mind. It lets me feel that I am, it is working. It wasn't working. It wasn't getting me high. I was just wasting two fucking hits of great joints. And to top it off, it's a 35 percent fucking joint. Why are you smoking a whole joint? It's supposed to be two hit fucking weed, Joey, and you're smoking a fucking joint. So all these things didn't add up. And this is what led me to taking a breather from the motherfucking reefer. And this is it. I can't wait to come back on here and smoke a fucking joint. And for you guys to see the change in my face and my eyes and go, all right, we see it now, Joey. It fucking works now. Thank God you're getting high again. So we'll get, and then when I go back, I'm not going to go back

to 35. I'm going to start with Jersey weed. I'm going to take it all the way back to 14 percent. Wait, think I'm fucking retarded? That's what you do. You go all the way back to the lowest end and you start smoking that shit. And once you start getting high on that, Eureka, Eureka, you have gotten to where you want to go because now you're getting high on shitty weed again. And you're sitting there going, Joey, why would you want to get high on shitty weed again to start all over again? So I could smoke till I'm fucking 80 and be fucking happy. Are you with me motherfuckers? This is the Monday morning joint. But there's something I got to talk to you motherfuckers about Wednesday, May the 12th. I'm releasing a hundred NFTs.

It's electronic art. It's cryptocurrency type stuff. I'm only releasing it on Patreon to the upper tier because I own, I owe the upper tier a gift for signing up for six months. So what I'm going to do is my wife is getting the coffee cups together. Now we're going to put the joint coffee cups online to sell, but the upper tier of the Patreon, I'm going to send them the cups as a gift. What I have to do also because I stiffed them in January is what I'm going to do. Well, I sent you the shirts early. I sent you the shirts so you would have them for Christmas. There's not going to be shirts this time. We're not doing business with that company no more. We're not doing business with that management company no more. So what we're going to do is

we're going to send out mugs for you guys having my back on Patreon from the beginning with this thing and for helping out people and for helping out comics that were down. What I'm going to do is I'm going to release a hundred NFTs. They're going to be electronically autographed. I don't want to hear no shit that you want to send them or whatever. They don't even come like that. They're electronically autographed with a number, number one to zero. I don't know what time I will put them up on Patreon on Wednesday. This is just for the top tier people so restrictions apply. We're like draft kings now. Restrictions apply. You can't join now to get it. You could join now if you want but there's still 400 people in that upper tier and there's only 400

and there's only 100 NFT prints available. So I don't want to lie to you and say run to Patreon right now and sign up because you're going to get it because you're not. I don't want to lie to anybody. It's not my best interest. I am coming out with a 30th anniversary NFT of comedy on July 16th or about that date. Then by that time it will be incorporated in the Patreon payment. I will have it for the upper tier people and I will make more cards pertaining to how many people are on that tier. So I'm not being a scumbag to anybody. This is to the people who joined Patreon from the beginning and had everybody's back in the beginning of the fucking pandemic. This is the least I could do for you. You are getting a mug as a gift once they come in. We used to make the mugs in China.

Obviously you know what happened at the end of Wuhan. They don't want to make cups no more so now we're fucked. We had a fine of an un-American distributor. In fact I want everything American. I was sick and tired of so we just want everything American. You know what I'm saying? I don't care if I pay more. I don't care if I got an order from a company in Ohio. Everything one American because it's just not worth it. You guys are seeing what's going on. Plants are closing all over the country. Car plants because there's not enough chips coming out of Taiwan. This is just a fucking nightmare. A lot of people don't know about this shit. That people are on backwater. Right now if you go to order a pool in New Jersey they're going to pay to call them back in 2025.

Can't even order a fucking swimming pool in New Jersey. Like right now they're so fucking swamped so everything is much behind you know COVID, China, whatever. You go to Slavia. I don't know. I'm not throwing everybody under the bus. I'm just saying that COVID set everything back. You can't even get a certain brick now or certain ovens or you know we established that we we bumped into it early on with the fucking joint that we couldn't get the cameras we wanted and the microphones we wanted so it's a fucked up world. So what I'm saying is thank you for listening to the joint on a Monday morning. Thank you for letting your uncle Joey enter your life on a Monday morning and thank you for understanding why the breather from the reefer. It's not a breather from the reefer

it's just a little break. We're making a comeback and when I make the comeback we'll make a decent announcement so we all get high together. Who's better than you guys? I love you motherfuckers. It's May 10th already. We did it. Hope you had a great weekend. It's gonna be a great fucking week. I love you cocksuckers with all my heart. Now for a motherfucking word for responses. Have a great week cocksuckers. See you Wednesday on Uncle Joey's joint. Let's do this shit. All right you bad motherfuckers. I want to thank you again for listening to the joint on a Monday morning. We did it seven days without weed. I can't even believe it myself. What are you gonna do? Things are bad all over anyway. The joint is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Listen

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I want to thank zip recruiter and blue chew and you guys for always having my mother fucking back. Stay black. We'll be back Wednesday. Ready to fucking rock. I love you guys. Have a great week. There you go. you