Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #066 | JIM FLORENTINE | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It’s Wednesday, May 19th..... Today, we talk to the great JIM FLORENTINE.... This episode is brought to you by and we are welcoming to the show, Magnesium Breakthrough..... Go to https://www.MagBreakthrough.com/JOEY and enter PROMO CODE: JOEY10 And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #JimFlorentine The JOINT is Co-Hosted & Produced by: Michael Klein @onebyonepodcast on: Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals  

What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday the 19th happy anniversary. I've been here for nine months now The joint is brought to you by and we want to welcome Magnesium breakthrough you got restless leg syndrome. You can't sleep you're torsion and turning squash that shit How with magnesium if you can't sleep, but you tried everything It's probably because your magnesium is low. You didn't know that did you you didn't read the book sleep? Magnesium you naturally helps activate the transmitters in your brain that calm the mind and body What's better than that? Listen to me. I love fucking sleeping for years. I didn't fucking sleep

I didn't pay attention to it and I blew up to 418 pounds now. My whole life is fucking sleeping Let me tell you what really happened my agent sent me this product in like January or December Before my surgery and I was scared of COVID So I was taking the vitamin D with the magnesium and I noticed that I was getting a lot better sleep So now it's part of my who the fuck I am. I take my magnesium two pills after dinner every day This company magnesium breakthrough is tremendous. They have the mass enzymes, which I gotta be honest with you The weight loss I've attributed to I think it's because of them Because I've been taking that that stuff you take like that's in yogurt like with bio optimizers and all that stuff

And it's helped my digestion a hundred and fifty percent Magnesium breakthrough from bio optimizers is the cure for sleepless nights It's only organic magnesium supplement that includes ready for this one seven unique forms of magnesium Seven that's the full spectrum It's helped tons of people and I could read their testimonials all day, but here's mine You sleep like a fucking baby. Yes. I make the Michael Jackson tea some nights some nights I go on melatonin, but magnesium is in me every night And I could feel it because I sleep like a fucking baby

It laced it takes a lot to pull this bull fucking down at night as you notice But my videos but magnesium breakthrough works Listen, if you're having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, make sure you get enough magnesium There are actually seven forms of magnesium and you got to get all of them if you want the experience That's calming sleep enhancing effects. That's why I recommend Magnesium breakthrough just pop two capsules before you go to bed Like me on an empty side on a full stomach and you'll be out like fucking desi on there's on a school night Listen for the joint listeners go to mag breakthrough.com again mag

MAG breakthrough Dot-com slash Joey and use Joey 10 during the checkout to get 10 percent off That's mag breakthrough.com Slash Joey and use Joey 10 For 10% off and when you see the Sandman tell him fucking I sent you cocksucker remember Magnesium breakthrough Dot-com slash Joey

Let's get this party started. It's Wednesday the 19th. We ain't got time to fucking chit-a-chatter Check one two welcome to Uncle Joey's joint You What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday the 19th of May happy anniversary to Joey Happy anniversary to Joey happy anniversary to Joey Nine fucking months. I've been in Jersey now It's been tremendous, but this all started with a phone call What I wanted to talk to you guys today about something that you have to do and you have to stick to

No matter what field you use or What field you choose is what I meant to say and that's your word Your word in a business whatever the fuck you do while you're fucking around at foot locker Or your little fucking college jobs. That's one thing But once you pick the field where you Have a job with your career You have to be very honest with yourself and the people around you The one thing I found about LA that was very disheartening

Was that people would call you and say hey man? How are you doing? This is what's going on in my world. I'm fucking light in the stage on fire in Ohio People cannot follow me What are the rents like in studio city? I'm moving out here. You talked to them for an hour You give them two hours of your time You you actually go on Google and you tell them to call these three apartments and then you never hear from that person again And then one day you're driving and you go what the fuck happened? They were moving here and you call them up and they tell you some Chinese story about fucking

And when I say Chinese no disrespect in Spanish when you tell a story to somebody they always go to some Cuento Chino You know you're gonna come up make a little Cuento Chino So it's you gonna tell me some Chinese story about fucking how you were gonna move But the landlord gave you a break on the rent and you decided you want a headline Listen if I had a fucking nickel for every call that was coming to LA I'd be a fucking millionaire and I know it's a cliche line to say but it's very true When you commit to when I call you and I go I want to get into this Before I make that call I think of it from all angles

And before I say it I commit to it and sometimes I say no and people like how can you say no to that? Because I committed to all I looked at all the angles from every opportunity And I don't see how this is going to help me or my career. This is helping you But it's not helping me. So this is not what I want to do You know it taught me to be honest with people Comedy teaches you the truth comedy is the truth And unless you're prepared to face the truth You're gonna have a hard time doing comedy as a matter of fact

You're gonna have a hard time doing anyone anything in life Last year we had a fucking what you call a disaster in this country The biggest disaster for me Was the people dying and the biggest disaster for me Was that they closed the schools If I didn't have kids I wouldn't have gave a fuck about schools like I did when I didn't have kids But I have children and I saw the effect on my child and I worried about other child That's what it's called to be empathetic that you go what the fuck is going on here

So on july 13th or july 12th, I got a fucking call It's not a call. I got uh My wife came in very distressed and she goes They just canceled school for the year And I was faced with a dilemma Okay I have a successful podcast. I have a successful career here in california Um, I created a paradise for myself. My job is to

Blocks away. I had my life down to a science But I always knew one thing There was there used to be a A commercial when I was growing up On penns oil penns oil oil the race car oil And the commercial was you can install your air filter You could either pay me now Or you could pay me later

When you don't put the work in with your kids when they're three four five six seven eight You're gonna have a problem when they're 13 So your career is gonna be going great. You're on top of the world You're selling out theaters, but in the back of my mind I'm worried about this 13 year old girl that's starting to act out Because the strongest force in her life isn't around On the weekends. He's around and by that time She'll be watching youtube and seeing the language I use and the pot I smoke

So she'll start acting. I didn't take a genius to figure this out. This is just the way life is So before that happened I had to take a big look at myself and go What is more important? A podcast that I'm doing My stand up at the comedy store the comedy store be there forever Comedy clubs will be there forever But this relationship my daughter is only going to be here one time She's only going to be eight once. She's only going to be eight nine once She's only going to be 10 once and I can't have a broken child

Because they're not going to put them in school. I understand It's contagious. I understand they could bring it home to parents. I understand all these things But there has to be something that we have to do So I made the hardest decision I had to do I called the friend And that friend's name was jimmy florentine. Was he my best friend at the time? Not really. We were just comedy friends. I thought he was funny I watched his show the heavy metal show. I was a fan of him. You guys know i'm a big fan of trunk I liked uh

Their other buddy. I just liked the show. I would watch it. I'd see michael shankin the play the guitar You know, yeah, I was envious of jimmy, but he was a great kid And he came on the podcast a couple times. We spoke about the ufo's In jersey all you motherfuckers that are talking about ufo's now. I saw a ufo in 76 I saw the feds collecting the fucking dirt and I passed on auntie. He's still with the fucking ufo's Knock it off. Joey told you three years ago about the ufo's in 76 in jersey 75 if you don't believe me go on fucking youtube press ufo north bergen and the tape is right there in front of your fucking eyes What's the matter with you? But anyway, I called jimmy and I said jimmy. I'm in a bind. I need to move

I wanted to move to bergen field or bergen county and that's contaminated The jewish guy went skiing and now everybody's fucking coughing and fucking bergen county What can I do when he said my sister-in-law my now my wife had already called a realtor And the realtor was california worthless like the realtor we we were looking at houses in california It was hysterical. We went to look at one house and I told my wife I can't deal with this guy because everything we looked at I could fix it. I got a guy for that I got a guy for that. I got a guy. How many guys you got how many guys you got

You know, so he went I just didn't want to buy a house in california. I called jimmy florentine He told me that his sister-in-law was a realtor And she specialized in homes in this area. She grew up in this area I had my high ball on this area. I knew the schools were open My wife told me the schools were number two and three in the state in this area So I called jimmy like a man and I explained to him that I wanted to move And I could hear kind of sort of the apprehension of his voice a little bit, you know Again, this is some fucking jerk off comic

Telling you he wants to move his fucking family, but jimmy didn't know the guy he was dealing with He didn't know that I don't fuck around when I say I'm gonna do something I attack it with both legs. So I tell you, no, that's it. I had my heart set on it I already knew I was gonna move And jimmy florentine came through but then a week we were put in office in the homes And within two weeks, I think by august 1st We had already gotten this home Uh, then we started making plans to leave on august 19th

When I got here jimmy opened up his home to me I remember first going to his sister-in-law's house for barbecue And like fucking my heart beating out of my chest because I thought I had covid and they and they're assuring me. They're like Nobody here's got covid and we got home test if you want to take a test So I was like these fucking people and then they were like sunday. We have football Wednesday, we meet for dinner as a family you're invited It was just like I was a kid And when rogan called me

The saint joe rogan called me and said to me joey I want you close to me. I want to buy a home for you in austin texas I said, thank you for the offer. I love you at all my heart There's nobody I'd rather live next to but I gotta be close to family I have no family out there joe If I move out there to austin, I'm gonna see you when I see you and that's it My daughter needs cousins. My daughter needs friends

My daughter doesn't need a comedy right now. I can't worry about comedy the comedy will always be there and next thing, you know, we had this house here and uh I'm home and at first when I came home. I I thought about the ghost that I had in my closet here And you know what man if it was for my daughter, I'd be forced to face it and that was the decision I made And that's it and ever since that time. I consider jimmy florentine And this family family I goof on them. I call them the florentine crime family Because they have fun. They're just a family that and la people forgot what fun was And la nothing was fun unless somebody was showing up to your party

Make sure you come lorenz fishburns gonna be there. Oh my god, you know, I'm gonna go talk to him about his move You know Here people are just people and this is what I was looking for And this is what I wanted you guys know as much as I know Yeah, I'm a comic. Yeah, I do this I do that But one thing I talk from is from the heart and I'm authentic and I come at you correct the right way like a gentleman And I'm not here to fucking blow smoke up your ass or anything I'm telling you that I lucked out. I made this move for my family

And I'm happy I did today's guest on my podcast Is jimmy florentine. I hope you enjoy it. Stay black What's happening jimmy florentine? What's going on six houses away? We're still fucking zoom and fuck it After this is all over and nobody's gonna want to go nowhere. We're gonna just keep fucking zooming I'm not leaving my house to drive an hour to go fucking zoom and Connecticut or some shit Yeah, man, it's like remember you used to drive like an hour and a half or an hour to go. Yeah

I do it for what An hour to fucking get there and they talk to you for 15 minutes Then it's an hour and a half podcast and they want to introduce you to their fucking mother And then you drive an hour two hours in traffic. So your whole day went to a fucking podcast This is a lot better. I think I think people gonna stick to this I feel like you got a better connection when you're in studio though. Absolutely You know, absolutely, you know, you got the little delay here and all that shit, but We're six houses away. It shouldn't be a delay. No, there shouldn't nothing no fucking delay

I want to start off with a question for you Because I was talking about this early in the podcast. What did you think? When I called you july 12th and told you I wanted to move and I needed your help What was the first thing that came to your mind? I was like, I don't know if he's serious. He's probably just, you know Hating LA at the moment, but I just said look man. I go if you move here, it's gonna be quiet Nice, you know neighborhood, you know, if you want to move around where I live Everything's right around here. There's no chaos. There's no there's no nothing

It's to a complete opposite of LA if you're ready for it. Well, you live in the suburbs You know with kids and all that stuff playing on the street if that's what you want you go from the action LA So if you're ready for that, it's a quiet life It was exactly what I wanted, but what did you think two years later? Two weeks later when your sister-in-law called you and said we're looking at houses and He's putting off his end. What was was your reaction then? I couldn't believe it because I was like, I just threw it out there. I go, hey, my sister-in-law is a real estate agent You know, if you're interested, I don't know if you have one or whatever. I don't want to get in people's business

I just threw it out. They go, yeah, give me your number. I'm gonna give it to my wife and I'm like, okay And then next thing you know, my sister-in-law's I didn't want to bother you. I didn't know what was going on My sister-in-law's like, no, they're really coming. I'm they're looking at a couple houses and then I'm close by me. I'm like, are you serious? He's gonna be living right here. Like, yeah They took the house. I'm like, holy shit, you know in our business. We get calls every day from people with promises That they're gonna come, you know, I still got a guy that calls me once a year To tell me he's coming to LA to tell everybody to look out That there's materials on fire that they're not gonna stop them

That's for 23 years. I've been getting this call from the same fucking kid So in our business in our world When somebody follows through you really fucking get blown away like So I'm happy that you put the offer out there And I got to blow you the fuck away like two weeks later. We were in the house And a month later we won our way here That was insane. It was insane. I see I figured you would move back to like north Jersey where you're from north bergen area I've lived in clip side park for a long time. No

I was up in that area too. But when I had a kid I said I Get to the suburbs so they can have a life but a lawn Kids playing and so all that stuff. So I moved, you know Further further south and stuff But I wasn't I figured you were gonna move back to where you originally grew up with all your breath Fuck no that was not happening I consented bergen county until the fucking Jewish guy went skiing and he came back and fucked up the neighborhood

Because that's why I was looking at bergen field You know, uh, du mant around there And once fucked and that guy infected bergen county lit up like a christmas tree So my only other option was south jersey I didn't want to move to like down the shore and fucking hand-to-hand combat every weekend with the northerners So we found the happy medium in the middle. I knew this area well from my brother living Here so it was perfect and then I get here and I get introduced to the

Florentine crime family, which is a complete different story people been contacting me Thinking that you guys are in the mafia and that's not it I call them the Florentine crime family because they should be thrown in jail for how much fun they have Americans don't have as much fun as the Florentine crime family from sunday football to fucking Kentucky derby parties To ac dc bands playing on a lawn

Wrestling they hired wrestlers one year to come to the lawn like porta rickens in front of the house That is fun. They should be thrown in jail For how much fun the Florentines have, you know, so That's why I call them the Florentine crime family not because they're involved in stealing trucks or nothing like that It's amazing though Like there's seven of us in the family and like you know more about what's going on with my family members than I do You know, you'd be like gains the sisters. She's going to florida. She is yes She's been down there for two days. Oh my god. That's news to me. You know more what's going on

I love them. I I grew up with italian families like this that you just weren't friends with jimmy You just weren't friends with jimmy I used jimmy for one thing me and jimmy went to concerts But me and your brother bob smoked pot together and me and joe knew how to Steel sneakers from the english town raceway And your sister kathy used to let me into the movie theater when she paid so

I gave her free joints from time, you know, that's what a family life is I'm just not friends with jimmy and I avoid everybody else. I'm friends with you I'm friends with you. I have a relationship with your dad. I go to the track with your dad You're like, I can't believe you got my dad high the other day. That's how I grew up with people, you know So i'm back there again. Yeah, no, it's great man. Look, I knew, you know I live right outside of new york city for a while doing stand-up. You have no life You're doing shows every night. You miss birthdays. You miss anniversaries. You miss everything Because you're just dedicated to and then when I got married and had a kid I go

I got to move back to the suburbs and have somewhat of a normal life I can't just focus on stand-up, you know and just live and breathe it every day Because you need you have no experience after a while. You're just doing the same thing You're doing two or three sets a night. You're not really living You're doing the same routine over and over again and you're not really experiencing anything So when I moved back it was a definitely an adjustment to live back in a neighborhood You know, I didn't do that for years. I was in a high rise little apartment here in air or whatever I needed to be near the action

But then when I came back and real, you know had the kid and all that stuff it all made sense and now I love it Look, does it take 45 minutes to go to new york city? Fine. No problem. You just leave a little early. It's no big deal And the ride's enjoyable you get to clear your mind You listen to a little ozzy's boneyard a little tom mariello Something always pops up that you haven't heard in a while You know when my brother did it my brother had a fish market And he would leave down here at quarter to four in the morning We would hit the Fulton fish market at five o'clock

And we would be there till six thirty, you know joking around with the gangsters and the italians and the chinese people Selling fish he would deliver his six or seven routes And we would be back down here by one. How beautiful is it right now outside? So one minute you're in the jungle of new york city and 45 minutes later you're in fucking paradise We wouldn't even go in the house We would shower in the side of the house take our clothes off and jump in his heated pool And then he would take a piece of fish out from the day cut the head off And we grilled whatever fish we had and we'd be in the afternoon all afternoon in his yard

Till six or seven o'clock. I never experienced that before. Yeah No, it's great man. It's uh, you know, it's it it's a quieter life And look I could you know just like you we could do both of our things We could beat dirtbags when we need to on stage on a podcast or whatever and then be and then be a dad And hang out with other parents and go to their sporting events and stuff like that You could do both you could juggle both. I never thought I could I remember like going to therapy when I was in my early 40s and the guy's like I go I can't get married and have a family then I'm not going to be edgy anymore. I'm not gonna be

He's like, no, you're gonna have you the rest of that your chaos the rest of your life That side of your life is going to be all set and then you can focus on your career You'll actually do better once you have that other chaos Dating crazy women this and that or just this craziness going on and I have nothing to come home to Because you'll look forward to it and you'll have bulk that your career will actually go better and I was like, no Wayne He was right You know last Christmas I had like a little get together two Christmases ago in LA And we had a couple families there, you know Mercy's friends and this one lady

Kept talking about instagram on Christmas She just wouldn't shut the fuck up about instagram and her friends and The stories and this and that and I was like, you know what I got to get away from these people Like it's time to get the fuck away from these instagram people that that's all they talk about It's pictures and instagram and more pictures and here nobody talks about instagram Nobody wants to take a picture at the store Nobody fucking says a word to everybody puts their pants on one leg at a time But the other thing I noticed when I first got here that you and I laughed about was

I drove past your block one day and I saw nine fucking kids In like a thing pushing people down the hill and I'm like that that's the little rascals And then you invited me into your house and they were in the basement And they all came up me and my daughter was standing there And it was just surreal that all of a sudden Jimmy yells downstairs Luke come on up You know go outside Mercy's here or something and it was one kid after the other all different fucking sizes

And I called them the little rascals after that that block is the little red There's not a block in America That has those amount of kids out like that and now my block is starting to get it Because I've you know, I initiated I go out there at three o'clock and Play softball with her and then the people across the street come out. He comes out with the hockey stick Then the two fuck heads across the street come out and legacy, you know I got five kids out there too with helmets on And I feel like Rocky Balboa throwing balls and shit like that, you know, it's just I wanted my daughter to have

Listen, I didn't want my daughter robbing gas stations in north bergen I didn't want my daughter robbing beer trucks, but I wanted my daughter like your son To have that jersey normality to them To have that jersey toughness to them. There's a certain Toughness that you have as a kid. I was watching those kids in LA And boy, they're gonna have a hard fucking time when they grow up You know between the tree hug of parents and the fucking Views and stuff like that and I wanted something

Different I see how you raise your boy. I see that every night We're doing something we have activities. I mean for god's sake Jimmy I had to stop smoking pot Because I'm embarrassed to be about other about other parents with reefer on my body Because I didn't want to make a bad impression like a fucking junkie, you know, so Thank you. I just wanted to thank you for giving me the opportunity for your family accepting our family like family and uh For us to be able to raise our kids jersey style even white castles

Getting contaminated gut eating carvel ice cream, you know Yeah, remember we took them to the white castle. We sat in the park a lot that drive through and they ate it for the first time and We got a Kid drunk at two o'clock in the morning. I go. We got to experience this sat in the park a lot of eight of them That's great. And there's just like a certain Jersey toughness you get as a kid. I look at my life and I go Jesus Christ I've gone through all these things, you know, you get a tough skin From getting your balls busted like your two friends that come over for fucking football

You just learned to have tough skin But the thing you also learn here is like that story you told me About the wrestler. I don't want to fuck it up. You say it about the wrestler that you used to take pictures outside the garden and What you put up with just for the wrestling pictures Now everybody else in this country would take that story And weave that into a therapist Like they would make that life Put that on the sleeve and they would live their life saying that story

Well, I got molested by a wrestler as a child. You know I'm saying not you you put a spin on it And it is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard in my life. Give it to these cocksuckers Yeah, why you know, I told this story on the stern show originally. I didn't I didn't think it was that interesting But you know when I told it everybody went crazy. So I'm 14 years old my dad's taking me massive Uh wrestle match at Madison Square Garden once a month We go there. First of all, you had to be 16 years old to get in I was only like 14 because they would have blood So since there was blood you had to be 16 So it wasn't a bunch of kids back then it was mostly adults that were into wrestling

So I wear my mom's platform shoes and bell bottoms to seem taller So my mom had those gene Simmons platform shoes. I wear them I mean how how weird is that that's how I get it and you know like all right He must look 16. They would never check. So I'm going as much as a guy out front Outside the garden every month selling wrestling pictures. He was a wrestling photographer. So he was always in the front row You know taking the pictures so he'd sell them for like a dollar a piece So we'd always know where he was before the match We always go hit him up my dad would give me 10 bucks. I could buy 10 pictures

and then the guy's like, hey, um You know, I'll give you my address Give me your address and I'll send you some pictures in the mail because I go to all the matches Even the ones that aren't on tv So he started sending me pictures in the mail And then the next time I go he goes give me a home number. I'll tell you who won the matches After you know the ones that aren't on tv. So the guy would call me and he'd be breathing heavy on the other eye I didn't know it's 14. I thought he just came in from a jog

You know, meanwhile the guy weighed like 350 pounds. Where the fuck's this guy jogging? So he must have been jerking off on the other end. I had no clue. I just wanted to find out if Bruno San Martino felt or not I was willing to put up with So then it comes at a point we go to um Asbury park convention hall our parents let us go to the match by ourselves We're 15 made 14 or 15 at the time we take the train down there And we're in the nosebleed seats and he's at the match in the front row He comes up in between a match. He goes, hey, you want to go sit in the front?

See I got two seats in the front who wants to go sit in the front row with me So me and my friend Michael will go so we go down there. We get to the front and there's only one seat Well, I go I tell you said there was two seats. He goes, no one's mine He goes, yeah, I go, okay. He goes, you know, well, someone's gonna have to sit on my lap and I'm like, what? We're 14 15 years old. I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah One seat's mine. So someone's gonna have to sit on my lap and I'm like, I'm not doing that My friend Mike's like I'm not doing that and just about ready to we're gonna go back to the nosebleeds We see Andre the giant coming out starting to match. I'm like, holy shit. Andre is right there

And I'm like, all right, fuck it. I'll sit on your lap. So I sat on the guy's lap And he was holding me like we're like, you know, I was on a motorcycle You know what I mean? He's hugging me like this So I'm watching him. I'm like, this is weird. I'm my friend Mike's over here. I'm like, I'm just focusing on the match It was just a strange but whatever and at one point he nibbled on my ear and I'm like, what the fuck was that? He's like, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm like, that's fucking ridiculous. What are you doing? He's like, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. And then I go, Mike, can you fucking get on his lap now? I'm done. So then Mike went on his lap and he held him like he was on a bike

And then I would see him after that I'd see him and I'm like, God, this guy's weird And I'd see him at Madison's Grogana. My dad wasn't around. I don't know where he was He'd be like, hey, give me a kiss in the cheek and I'll give you this picture And I go, why does Italian men do that all the time? They give it a kiss So I'm like, no, he's like, come on, man, I haven't seen you in a while. He goes, look, I'll show you this picture You want to you want this picture of superstar Billy Graham? Like, yeah It's like, all right, fuck it. I give him a kiss on each side of his cheek I still have the pictures

I want the one when he slept over Jim. That's the money one I cut to the we get to that. How do we get to that? After three months later, um, he commits as my parents to stay over my house one night Because he knows all the kids in the neighborhood because my dad would take all the kids in the neighborhood We're all 14 15 blonde hair blue eyes nice little swimmers bodies You know, we're fucking young Brad Pitts It's the perfect New Jersey. This guy was all over us. We're fucking good bait for him. So my parents somehow decided

Okay, he could sleep over in the guest room Which is weird, but I think I was like 38. We were 14 My dad met him a few times, whatever So he sleeps over and he got he got my parents picked him up at night Like a Friday night at the bus stop from New York City lived in the city Now, you know, can I go say hi to Jim? They go, no, he's sleeping. You'll see him in the morning He goes, okay. I wake up in the morning. The guy's got his hand down my pants I have my little pj's on and he's got his thumb through like the hole by the crotch and I wake up

Like, what are you doing? He goes, oh, I'm showing you a magic trick A magic trick. He goes, yeah, I go, what the fuck are you talking about? You should have your magic trick. Hold on. Hold on. I can fuck you and I went to go run to the door He'll tell my two older brothers Who were suspicious of him to begin with and he blocked the door goes, listen Listen, stop. He goes, I'll give you 30 pictures out of any of my photo album here if you don't say anything I go 30 Where 30 you want the top ones you could take if you don't say a word I said, okay, fine

I'm like, fuck it. You know, I might as well get some pictures out of this So I sat there. I picked out 30 as soon as I got the 30 I had in my hand I ran I ran right out of the room opened the door. I told my two older brothers Joe and bob, you know them And um, they dragged them out of the house into the car They dropped them off at the supermarket where the bus station was it was like six in the morning Because the newspapers are still out there You don't need to just stack the newspapers out before the place is open And they were hitting them over the head with the newspapers and kicking them

And kicked his ass and put him back in a bus to new york city I saw the pictures I kept them because my brother joe's like you got to give the pictures back You got to go tell dad what he did. I'm not telling dad because he's gonna make me give the pictures back I go I deserve these so I never told my parents My mom would have said you have to give the pictures back whatever they who knows what would have happened But I was like fuck that I got I got great pictures and he was never seen again No, he was yeah, he was yeah, he was never seen again. I heard I got a someone sent me a picture of him He's still alive. He's he's living in thailand. He's we found out. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's where you go when you just want to

Fuck little kids. Yeah, he's still in thailand But this this picture I've been coal off with the belt He told me goes if you give me a kiss in the cheek this picture is gonna be worth a lot because he was only He was only to champ for like nine days. He goes. This is really rare. This is gonna be worth a ton of money one day So I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I looked it up like five years ago. It's worth nine cents Now I haven't called off. He was the champ till just they just made bruno san martino the champ after that, right? Wasn't that the belt in between bruno the thing with matters of square garden It was so many italians that loved bruno san martino because he was italian

That he had the belt for like eight years because he could sell out the garden every month And all these italian men would go including my dad So they had to keep him as champ because if they had another guy in there They wouldn't go It would be like when bob backland was the champ a couple years later It would be a half a house every time So bintz mcman senior told bruno you got to be the champ You got a big italian following after nine years bruno goes. I don't want the belt anymore. I'm too. I'm too tired

I'm beat up. So I'm gonna I'm giving up the belt But he but he told me to and nine cents this thing is worth. He lied to me He told me it was gonna worth a lot one. I thought this was gonna be like a mickey man or rookie car We'll have to make it an nft We'll make it an nft and fucking sell it and then the price will go up on the hive and fucking whatever his name is But you don't understand joey when I told this story on howard stern. I had at least 20 different people contact me Guys and told me the same exact story what he did it to them too All over the country and one guy sent me a picture. I'll show you next time you come over. I don't want to show it on here

Just a case Legally or whatever, but I'll show you what the guy looked like That is just amazing and you know, it's funny because Somebody else would have turned this around. This would have been like a crutch for somebody Like we had Puerto Rican Nelson. He would play football with us with a robe with no underwear on We knew he was a fucking pedophile So we could either avoid him or use him So we used him. He liked to play football and shit like that. He had a great arm

So we went out there knowing that he was a pedophile and then he'd go if I do this Are you guys going to come over afterward? Fuck yeah We'll be over in fucking five minutes. We'll put our robes on too with no underwear on And then mr. Softy would come and he would get all excited Bias ice cream and then we would tell him to suck our dick. What the fuck out of here? We're not going to your backyard. You pervert motherfucker. And then he would do it again two weeks later We would just it was a constant thing like he would think that we forgot that he was a fucking pedophile And there were a couple reports in the neighborhood. I really never

confirmed them, but it wasn't it's so weird like If this was california, you know, your parents would call the cops your brothers everybody Here in jersey, we just handle a different way. We hit him with newspapers and we fucking We torment their lives, you know with nelson. I can't remember what you know what happened to him But i'm sure that we tortured him until he fucking left because that was our style Eggs, you know light your fucking, you know, your welcome carpet. You know, many of those I lit on fire at his house We would just throw fucking Lighting fluid and light his fucking welcome sign on fire. Once we knew he was a pedophile. He couldn't fuck with us, you know

Yeah, yeah, I mean like, you know We just you know, he the guy pretty much disappeared from there. But yeah, I mean you just Who knew back then, you know, like our parents will let us hang out with the priest too Go go camping with them go away from on a weekend. You need another, you know Adult male in your life, you know, he'll teach you the right way and she'll like that that should happen all the time I mean, I was an author boy all that stuff I never went away with the priest but the local the priest in our town Where I grew up that the catholic school I went to he they shipped them out

They found that he did some dirty shit another priest in there if they found that he did some dirty shit too So but our parents trusted us he trusted those people including the wrestling picture guy thinking I had you know He's a little weird, but whatever you didn't get that shit back then That's why the parents let the kids hang out with the priest and stuff. How are we as parents? We don't trust nobody No, there's no like you and I that they know like listen, you can tell whatever story you want And I'll warn you too like listen. I know you I know what you're doing I know that you're a fucking pedophile and if you fucking touch it I'm gonna hit you in the head with a brick like you just as a parent now you look at it and you're like

You see, you know, I see it. I I see the walk. I see the talk. It's tough to be a pedophile now It's not like the fucking Well, now they're on the computer, you know, so you got to watch What your kids bust into, you know I thought about it. My dream in life is to definitely bust into a zoom meeting with my ballsack I just don't know how to hack into a like a city town council board meeting When people are yelling about zoning a chinese church And I just take a picture of my balls and say fuck you cocksuckers

Don't put no church. I'm dying to do that. I just don't know how to be a hacker. You know, I don't I don't know. I don't know fucking no. So Anyway, I don't even know how I got on that Remember about like my one brother. He always says he's got the daughter You know, which one I'm talking about and he's already he says to his daughter. Hey if she's like 12 Hey, if um if some guy comes up pulls up in a band that you don't know, what do you do? He goes she goes get in the van with them and his mother goes stop saying that my sister don't say that get in the van when I'm like I

You got you know I think that like for me. I got to be very very like I was watching summer of sam On your recommendation, you know, and I think episode three they talk about the guy that was very catholic That he lived close to the church. So they always called him when he was When an altar boy didn't show up. I look so I could lift my right hand to god I Wasn't an altar boy because I didn't like all the work and there was no cash in it You know, there's not a way to became an altar boy

Joey if you did a funeral, they would give you a cash Like if you were an altar boy at a funeral So we'd always fight to do what we could do the funeral. Yeah, but how much cash like a five or a 10 Yeah, go fuck yourself. I could work bingo and steal 40 And make fucking 40 on a sunday night from six to nine So fuck that shit. I'm gonna fucking go in there with that pedophile smoke And help him distribute that shit in church. Fuck you

I knew early on that I love my priest. Listen I know I still remember my priest that did the the you know, holy communion He was a fucking g The priest that did my wedding my first wedding was a g He was in the coke. He knew all about drugs and shit. We talked about he lived in san francisco And the guy that made my confirmation was his father tom the same guy that did that And there was no pedophilia with these guys. I checked them out, you know, I tested them I would take a ball out in front of them and see if they would react

You know, you got to test them and shit like that. But uh, no, I never had a negative experience with the catholic church I feel bad for people who did I did have a negative experience with the boy scouts of america Yeah That I knew I knew they were creepy I felt that my first we blew meeting And I didn't like being a we blow. I didn't like that word right there off the bat That made me sound like a half a fruit cake So we're not blowing nobody. I don't want to be a fucking we blow. I think I lasted three meetings and that was the end of that

Yeah, I never did that. Uh, my parents actually signed me up to be an all the boy I didn't want to be because I was getting so much trouble. I go to straighten me out I I enjoyed the church. I went to church this week I went on sunday finally with the family And it was uh, a little on the weird side. It was and I had a buddy call me the night before Who's a dear friend of mine? I've known him since the sixth grade And he's in recovery. So he went from AA to NA because they don't mention God And he gave me a ferocious ear beaten

On the way to fucking ply a bowl the other day about how you have to invite God into your life. He's the perfect gentleman So while I'm in church sunday with my family, this is all I'm thinking about, you know, it's Now I invited God into my family and that's what I need now, but it was fun. I liked the church It was quick 50 minutes. No drama. No handshakes Everybody wore a mask. This is a very nice area Very nice people the Italians have taken over. We got great places to eat Right the foods but I'm a let's just talk guy likes animals If he's in your life

Yes, but guess what? I just been eating edibles to go to sleep. Jesus christ I've been switching like every night. You know how I switch. I take magnesium some night do everything Last night I went off. I knew I could sleep a little late So I made a Michael Jackson tea. Holy shit It took me forever to wake up this morning. I was up at seven What's the Michael Jackson tea? That's the two bags of tea from kikomo a couple capsules from fucking abx

three or four that's gotta be 400 milligrams and then I just shoot 897 milligrams of THC into a cup I stare it a little bit And bottoms up. I I drink it during the first half hour of Miami vice Once I stopped getting bored I pull out the guitar and I start practicing fucking crazy train. That's it Until I get too high to remember the chords And then I go nappy new new time

That's great, man You know like I you know when you were moving here. I was like man, I got you know all my family and friends They're abrasive and they're fucking weird and they they bust balls And I have these two guys that come over my house every Sunday to watch football And I was like shit. I don't know if I'm gonna buy tell talking my brother Dan I'm like, I don't know if I can buy Joey over they're gonna go to tackle They're gonna find one fault on him and just go after him and he's like, yeah, I go

I think he could take it. I mean he grew up in jersey. I go all right And I warned you like 10 times before you came over. Don't worry, man. I'm fine. I'm fine I'm still I'm still nervous because I'm not gonna tell those guys not to you know Hey, calm it down. They do what they do. They do what they do. Yeah So you I never forget you came over the first week of football Those guys were you know saying all this crazy shit Going after you you're going after them back and forth and I remember walking you out On my driveway and you turn right it goes Jimmy. I haven't seen guys like that in 35 years

I thought they were all dead. I didn't think they still existed because you grew up with guys like that Oh my god. I love guys like that That's my world to take guys like that out whatever they want they want coke give them coke Give them extra coke because they're gonna start trouble And then three weeks later one of them's chasing you in my basement naked naked He was chasing me but the best was when he got naked and waited for you to come out of the bathroom And I was actually sitting there. So I took a picture of him naked And I got high that afternoon and I forgot that I had the picture in that night

I'm going through my pictures and I see a picture of a naked man. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me And I'm like, oh, that's right He was waiting outside Jimmy's door and a superman stands with his pants down to his knees But how childish, you know what I mean? Like I'm in the bathroom He's just waiting for me. So I opened the door and he's standing there naked. I'm like, ah It's it's something you do when you're 12 years old, but it's still funny But your reaction was priceless because you've seen his dick a thousand times. He just walked right past it Like some guy was handing you a flyer and you're like, no, I'll take it next time

Make it again. Okay. Yeah, those guys that get naked you can't give him light because then they'll really fucking he chased me He chased me naked and I'm like, what the fuck do I do? You know, like when a man chases you naked, you don't know how many times I chased rogan with my balls out And he would threaten me joey. I'm gonna hit you and he would run He would run no guy wants to be chased. That's a man's biggest fear Here's a guy chasing you with his dick out Guys wake up once in their lifetime going. Oh my god A guy was chasing me with his dick out because there's no defense technique for that

You could join 20 martial arts schools and there's no defense if a guy comes at you with an eight inch dick Nothing but muscles and veins and blood, you know Now it's great because you you said the next day you talked to rogan on the phone You go joe a 55 year old man chase around jimmy florentine spaceman yesterday. He goes. I'm around my people This is where I need to be I never get I'm around my people. This is where I do. I do. You know my biggest excuse my biggest Thing about la was that I loved it. I prospered there. I became a comic there I met my wife there. There was so many great things

But towards the last four years the connection was getting bigger and bigger I was becoming something In that neighborhood that I didn't want to become like I just wanted to be a regular fucking guy I don't want to take pictures at the park or do any of that shit at the park when I'm with my kids So this coming here Just leveled me the fuck out. It just reminded me that we're just fucking jersey guys. This is great just going down the shore and And you know getting chased by a naked guy on a sunday and it wasn't you know, I went every sunday and

It was very It brought me back to who I was it brought me back a lot little by little i'm becoming I told my wife two days ago. I'm not joey anymore I'm cocoa again. I could feel cocoa coming back. I could feel the attitude The views, you know And in time, you know what I think I'm gonna talk to a therapist maybe now that you said you had one maybe I'll talk to them and See what the fuck is going on with me why I haven't smoked dope or want to do comedy and nothing like that

Stopped eating cheeseburgers. I would have fucked stops eating pizza when they moved to jersey me I'm the only jerk off, you know, so But I I really want to thank you man. This has been a fucking Great experience from the music. We trade albums. We go album shopping You know the aziz boneyard. I just listened to you this morning. This has just been uh I just wanted to be fucking normal jim No, and look when you and when you got kids man, it's about them growing up and you know Giving them a good life, you know, it's it's not about you anymore. It's cliche, but it's true

It's like you got a I see all like all your your daughter's got freaking 15 friends already She's been here for like three months You know what I mean? And my kids got a bunch of friends and that's where it's about them hanging out You're gonna have a sleepover They're over there and the parents are dropping them off like that's what it is being a kid And that's why I had to get out of North Jersey because I lived in a high rise. I'm like he's gonna have no friends You know what I mean? He's gonna have no backyard to play on not to play football So I need to do it for him, you know, if I got to make a sacrifice and you got to make a sack

It's and then we still go out and do our thing. You know what I mean? You just juggle both schedules As you get older you realize it's not about doing stand-up, you know three sets of nights seven nights a week Just living in that that's all you want to know. You don't want to know anything else going your kids like sporting events I lie I look forward to not just as much as I look forward to getting up on stage still Like my kids got a game. I can't wait. I'm more excited than he is Jimmy I could look you in the eye and anybody else and tell you that if you If I thought I wasn't gonna enjoy a girl's softball game as much as I am lately

I I tell you you were fucking crazy if somebody came up to me and said in two years You're gonna be going to girl's softball games and you're gonna have a good time I would have said you're just a fucking idiot. You don't know me I can't tell you last Friday night. The parents brought white claws They had white claws hot dogs They were out there living it up drinking And i'm the only asshole there sober as a judge now all of a sudden now I decided to get sober

Now is when I needed an edible out there. The sun was shining They had fucking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the kids They brought twizzlers for the kids for after the game whether they win or lose It's something that I never had in my life. I never had normality in my life like this. My mother was a functioning alcoholic I left the house whenever the fuck I wanted to and I came in when I wanted this life You know going to your son's games with you, you know Going to your family functions all the other family fun. I just got invited to a family function saturday afternoon, you know

It's it's what I wanted. I was sick and tired of being alone in california It was a great experience and I miss a lot of my friends, but it was time to Grow to move here to for my daughter this move Was not for me for me to advance my career. I didn't move here to be on law and order Organized crime it popped up after I didn't move here. Well, I did move here because it was legal marijuana I'm not gonna lie to nobody that was that made it enticing also. I moved here so my daughter Could go to white castle

My daughter could drink a you who? My daughter could have a fucking slice of pizza. My daughter could go to the quarry How great is that brony brook parked by a house? When they went fucking snow skiing that's free. Yeah, that's free You know, you only gotta be careful in the winter time because they could do here Dear hunting up there. I found out you might get shot with a bow and arrow So you don't want to go up there and the fucking No, you know, what's great is like

The people around here in this area or whatever just in the general the moms want to be moms Unlike la unlike wherever new york or like that They just they're just you're happy just being moms and it's all about their kids And I like seeing that because you get jaded when you're on a road and you see these crazy women They're drunk and they're yelling shit at their show and they got kids or whatever like that But you just I really see like wow these people are like normal people. I didn't see that for a long time I mean I grew up normal my parents married 33 years

Great couple in a lot. We had seven kids, but you just see around here These mom that you're just totally invested in their kids and I love seeing that I love it too. I love it uh To the point. I mean We've even like I said, we've turned this block around just by me going outside and Knocking on people's door, you know when the when the pandemic came around in la I knocked on my neighbor's door and I went I bought a batch of uh masks I thought I was doing the right thing these people did everything but throw the mask in my face

You know At the beginning of pandemic nobody do anything. Nobody really had a choice to make I thought I was doing the right thing here. You're not gonna neighbor's door They're gracious. They talk to you. Some of them knock on my door. You don't know how many nights I'm sitting down here and they will just knock on my door. Hey, they Did an outgoing your backyard, you know little things that you know They're not calling me to ask me if I knew about the new Fucking ray romano movie. You know what I ain't like that shit just gets old

What's going on in your world? I know you're touring a lot Yeah, I I I feel like I could be your agent because every club I go to everyone's like hey I want Joey here. Joey ready to do stand-up again. Yeah, I want to book him. Can you give me his number? I really could be your agent. I every club I go to when Joey coming back out. Come on. What's going on? Just tell me to do it. I'm like when he's ready. He'll come back out. He will help but I got now right now No, I I'm back, you know things are opening up. I'm doing some shows and I'm filming a comedy special like in july Where's the special at? It's uh saturday july 24th at fairfield theater in fairfield, canada kid and you're just shooting an independent rough

Fuck it. No commitments to nobody Worst case scenario youtube gets it. Exactly. Yep. That's it. No pressure You were two shows in one night a little theater there They got six six camera shoot all that stuff. They do a whole streaming thing out of there, too So, yeah, I'm gonna shoot at that night. I've been working on the material for a while and uh, it's ready Yeah, now, you know, so if people want to go to uh on my website jim florenti.com To take a link will be there I love it because you send all your fans to my shows. Uncle joey sent me uncle joey sent me

Whatever I meet him afterwards. I'm like, thank you. I appreciate it. Well, you know, I try to listen I some I send them to your show I send them to rich's show. I send them to rob kelly's show, especially during the pandemic because I wanted people to know that listen. It's not about podcasting. It's not about who's in what movie These are guys that are bringing you entertainment While the country while the world is suffering The least you could do you're getting that fucking unemployment check with the exit three bills

You don't like jimmy florentine because he thought he likes queens rike But he doesn't like uriah. He that's fine. Okay. He doesn't like matahupal So you disagree with jimmy, but do me a favor. Just pay the 15 bucks ticket And somebody'll take it support live comedy support the arts You know, I'm not a musician But ever since I started playing the guitar, I've been supporting little musician things Asbury park that was one up north and new work for Struggling musicians. What's a hundred dollars going to do to you?

It's not going to make me a fucking break me And some poor guy that's been playing the guitar for 20 years that nobody looked at and I got that from you You always told me that that you always buy Your friend's music just to support the band on i apple Yeah, I buy I buy the album even though I got itunes. So I can I pay 10 bucks a month for apple music I buy the album for 999 on itunes just to support when I go to a concert They hook me up with tickets or whatever. I always buy a couple concert t-shirts too. Just support

I know that's going in their pocket. So and and this is why I send people to your show because I know you're doing the right thing and life is a fucking circle It's a circle we help musicians. We're all a bunch of failed musicians. We didn't have the balls To fucking stick it out in a band with drums with five other guys We decided we wanted to do it ourselves But you and I we how much do we admire musicians? I mean, you know Your brother's offering me five grand to blow half it if nobody fucking knows The best of my brother gave joey a scenario

He's like would you blow rob howford for like a million dollars it was or something Save the world from AIDS. Well, no, no, you see he said that you would there'd be no more corona virus If you blow like Yeah, rob howford or whatever like that And you're like no man, I know and I go and my I never forget you walk out of my base My brother goes joey. No one's gonna know if you do it and you just turn around you go. I'll know that's it I'll know I gotta look at that mirror see this ugly face And no, I sucked rob howford's dick and that's a fucking nightmare. I'll never finish the fucking book. He led me

Thank you very much for taking the time today, buddy. I know that you're busy I know your son's getting home any minute now and uh any other dates you want to push while you're here I want these people to support jack. You want a fairfield, canada kid saturday your lodge 24 I'll be doing two shows that night. So come on out And uh, yeah, that'd be great. And hopefully jim will be having an nft soon Also, I'm trying to hook him up for like a heavy metal NFTs I gotta say one thing joey, you know, he's he's

Put stand up on hold, but I saw the sets he was doing on uncle vinnies on wednesday nights he's 75 to 80 ready to get out there and kill you weren't even you were like, I'm not really happy when material you were killing And the material is great. So when you're ready, you know what I mean? They get back out there. You already got a big hunk of new stuff. That's great. That was old shit Not all there was yes, it was I was talking about my gay neighbor bob my gay bob I don't have a gay bob neighbor. So I can't use it on stage no more So it was all these old jokes that never got put on a special

That now I can't put out because I don't even think that way no more I wish had a gay bob next to me. I wish had gay bob living next to me You know telling me how he's busting assholes every weekend Asbury park and shit, but I don't so I can't use that material no more My thinking is different. My daughter's older But I have been you know when I play the guitar at night I kind of feel shit and I'll make little notes. I took my computer pad that had A bunch of material on it and I erased it and I just broke it down to who the fuck am I today?

So I've been making little notes So when it's time, I think I'll go out there. I still owe uncle Vinny Three dates which I'm going to fulfill because he's the best in the business And then I'll probably be out there for soprano time Do a fucking jersey strong show with my man florentine and rich vas will take over new jersey For the month of october Joey Joey, I'm your you're like a band that you like come on Would they just do some shows that are gonna announce a tour damn that another summer without doing it?

That build-up right now I could feel it from the fans that come to my show. What is Joey getting back out there? What is he getting back out there? So Well, I I'm also looking at instagram and I'm seeing dead companies coming out Sebastian's coming out Tom segura is coming out and as a as a as a human being As an economist an econ major

Where's all this money gonna come from? What's all the concerts that are gonna know the concerts that are gonna come where are these people? You're gonna kill me from september to december the eagles You know, uh, I think rage the other thing not rage the other partners are out and rage Black crows are out black crows are out. You know, I know death leopard pushed their tour back till 2022 Green day's doing a stadium tour So where is all this money coming from? So before I abuse the country and try to fucking because we're all chasing the same fucking nickel

Let me get my head right. Let me do my warm-up shows at venice Maybe do a couple of guests at your shows rich vas is doing East Brunswick with you Let me just get my feet back on the media. The other thing is my knees not a hundred percent right I cracked some joke about eating assholes some guys a christian. He shoots a gun. I can't run. I get shot Because my knees all fucked up. So my knees got to be tipped off magoo, jimmy For me to go back out there But I know they're looking forward to you getting back out there and you know it too, but they I'm out there

So I see it. No, we're gonna do it and I'll probably do guests at your shows Uh As a secret and I'll see you later every show I do real quick every show I do People afterwards. I thought joey was gonna come out whether I'm in las vegas Florida they think like you flew with me today. I thought joey was gonna come out I figured you he's gonna come out after you right before you. Oh my god Well, I see you tonight you'll be around. Yeah, I'll be around. Yeah, we're done at 7 30 So I don't know if you have a game. We're done at 7 30 from freehold

We probably won't be back till 8, but uh, it was a pleasure talking to you And I want to thank you for having the best family on the east coast They opened up their hearts to me. I'm writing a book with erika I'm doing mugs with paula, you know, you feel, you know, me and bob are fucking crypto buddies now I love you at all my heart. Luke is my little Roberto Clemente. You know The florentine crime family shirts will be out soon And we're gonna have them numbered so Get ready for the florentine crime family shirts, bitches

All proceeds go to the acdc party. We're having on june 4th I love you jim. Thank you for your time, buddy Next time we'll do it over there in the brick wall All right, you back cocksuckers. I hope you enjoyed jimmy. We're for fucking when he told me the story about the wrestler Biden is here nibbling on his ear When he first told me that story I fucking told my wife We were down here in the basement watching tv hat because he would come over when I had the knee surgery and just talk with me

In the afternoons For an hour. That's how good he is. And like I said during the podcast today with him guys We're to a point now where you know who my friends are from burt tom Joe dunking red band tony hinchcliff Delia listen, they all have faults Some of them don't have faults. Some of them have been in trouble Guess what they come to your town If you love me these guys have bent over backwards for me

When somebody remember i'm the enemy of your enemy, but i'm also the best friend of your best friend When these guys come to your town, whether you like that comedy, whether you're busy Support them Buy a ticket. Who gives a fuck Buy a cd You know keep the karma well like I said told him during the thing I'm not a musician. I played the guitar for three months. I know two songs You got to hear my smoke on the water. It sounds like the fucking water disappeared, but

I still want to help out musicians with the money that you sent me on patreon We've helped out two music festivals. I don't know anybody in those festivals But those are the ones that need more of our help Rage against the machine doesn't need my hundred dollars Fucking Alice and chains doesn't need my hundred dollars kiss definitely doesn't need my hundred dollars That poor band in long branch that they've been struggling all year. They're four kids. They work at a print shop You know what man? They get a hundred dollar check in the mail that boost your fucking morale

That's a pair of cymbals. That's four fucking guitar picks. That's something so Right now pandemic whatever this is season to look after your friends And to look after the people that have made you you that's the most important thing And jimmy florentine and his family have made me me. This is why I look the way I am This is why I have the happiness. I am this is why i'm in a good fucking mood Even though I haven't smoked reefer in fucking two weeks cock suckers It's sober in may uncle joey's doing sober in fucking may everybody was doing sober in october I gotta be the jerk off that has to be sober in may, but it feels good

I'm happy. I'm doing it. My lungs needed a breather. I needed a breather Everybody needed a breather. You don't need to see me smoke by no more. That's it. It's all over But I will be making a comeback I will keep you cock suckers posted Because I will tape it. I want to drool in front of you is I want to do that whole thing I want to do like a lisa yet and out of space with my eyes rolled back to my head And you guys like finally we fucking got them Anyway, I love you motherfuckers. Have a great weekend. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening

God bless you cock suckers. Stay black And I'll see you next fucking monday tip top motherfucking magoo. Stay black. Thank you and now For a word from my sponsor All right, I want to thank jim florentine. I want to thank you guys for supporting And I want to thank you for all the love and uh hope you give us you know what i'm saying Things are rough out there for a pimp and we're still here doing our motherfucking thing But the joint today is brought to you by Magnesium breakthrough. Listen to me. You can't sleep your fucking torso and turn

It's time to squash that shit with magnesium if you can't sleep if you tried everything tryptophal melatonin Hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. It's probably because your magnesium is low. I didn't know anything about magnesium I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I was a magnesium fucking specialist my agent sent me this like in december and I started taking it because magnesium and vitamin d were good against fucking uh

Covid but little did I know that it helps activate the transmitters in your brain that come to mind in the body What's better than that? You guys know I take my sleep in serious for years I fucked off. I didn't take naps as a kid and that's why I got all fat and shit because no fucking sleep now that I've been sleeping I'm better off. I'm losing weight. The weight's coming off me. I'm feeling better It's the only organic magnesium supplement that includes seven Seven unique forms of magnesium. That's the full spectrum. It's helped tons of people I could read dead testimonials all day But here's mine. Listen

My recovery is better. I've been working out four days a week And that's because of magnesium especially From magnesium breakthrough. They also have the enzymes. They also have the apex the bio apex that bio optimizes You got to take a look at this. You understand me the mass enzymes have 17s enzymes including proteins per capsules And it's great to process Protein the other thing that's helped me a lot is the probiotics the ps3 the navy seals the probiotics

That's why I've lost the weight the weight because I'm digesting They got some great stuff at magnesium breakthrough So go over there right now and take a look up at their website Go to mag breakthrough.com Slash Joey like I told you earlier. It takes a lot to take this bull down at night And magnesium breakthrough works if you haven't trouble falling asleep or staying asleep Make sure you're getting enough magnesium And please do not run to the grocery store for this

Most magnesium supplements are cheap and since they're not full spectrum They won't actually fix your magnesium deficiency There are actually seven forms of magnesium and you must get all of them if you want the experiencing calming Sleep-hancing effects. That's why I recommend Magnesium breakthrough the mass enzymes and the apex just pop two capsules before you go to bed And you'll be out like a fucking light seeing fucking nanny noonoo Thinking about uncle joey chasing you last night I had a dream that fiddle Castro was chasing me on a boat

That's when you know you have fucking problems and that's when you know you got deep sleep Do me a favor go to mag breakthrough.com right now Slash Joey for my listeners right now use promo code joey 10 write it down Joey joey yi 10 and write down mag breakthrough.com slash joey mag ma g Breakthrough bre a k th roug h

Dot com slash joey Use promo code joey 10 and I'm gonna give you 10 percent off on the best fucking magnesium In the fucking world. That's how I look at it. Why because it fucking helps me sleep Why do I love the mass enzymes? Because it helps with my digestion and the p3om the navy seals the probiotics But it starts with you you got to go to mag breakthrough dot com right now Slash Joey and when you see the sand man, tell him uncle joey told you to tell him to suck your dick I love you cocksuckers. Have a great weekend

May 19th. I will see you Monday morning tip top magoo ready to stab a fucking circus clown I love you cocksuckers stay black. Have a great weekend You