Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #071 - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint..... It’s Monday, June 7th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & Zip Recruiter..... Go to https://www.DraftKings.com and enter PROMO Code: JOEY Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced/Co-Hosted by: Michael Klein @onebyonepodcast on: Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... You can find Ben here: Ben Telford Visuals Cinematography and Visual Promotion Agency, Ontario, Canada [e-mail] Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/b_telford or https://www.instagram.com/bentelfordvisuals

What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday the 7th of June from the heart of New Jersey. The joint is brought to you by Draft Kings people always ask me Joey. What do you like draft Kings so much? I tell them easy and nice It's easy to navigate and it has clear instructions plus They got a million ways to you to get it on the action prop bets pools Casino fantasy whatever you're into they got it Right now the basketball players play also eating up last week I made fucking a little bit of money with Atlanta over the fucking Knicks I made a little bit of money with Utah over fucking Memphis, you know I'm saying but now it gets a little tougher

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Okay, I forgot all about it Three days later. I go back to his house. We're gonna download the sportsbook app We go to the fucking draft Kings fantasy. I won a thousand dollars in the fucking pool without knowing anything So see what I'm saying? You don't need to know anything to win on fucking draft Kings. That's the point So you're gonna watch these basketball games anyway. Why not make them interesting? Download the top rated draft Kings sportsbook app now or the fantasy app Use promo code joy when you sign in and turn a dollar into a hundred and free credits Bet on the basketball team of your choice to win their next game when they do you claim a hundred and full credit?

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Fantasy app and start winning some fucking Geetus if an idiot like me could pick a fucking team and win a G No, can you imagine what you could do? You know all the fantasy? You know all the teams you know all the players get your knowledge and start making a little money I'm not pushing you to be a fucking degenerate But Ben 25 hours on a fucking playoff game on a Wednesday night when nobody knows and nobody's sitting there next to you It's not a bad idea. Listen. It's NBA time. Just go with the under. They got to play defense That's your pick for Uncle Joey. The joint is also brought to you by zip motherfucking recruiter Let's just call it zip recruiter. They're a great company. Good help is hard to find

It's like trying to find fucking, you know God knows what it's like trying to find a Starbucks in a fucking rural town You could always post your job online or on a corkboard at the laundry mat Good luck. Who goes to a laundry mat? People will do their own laundry Then you got to just sit there and hope the right person walks by and sees it again Stop dreaming smack yourself in the face You want to know what you need to do? You got to try zip recruiter for free at zip recruit dot com slash Joey Again zip recruit dot com slash Joey

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You what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday June the motherfucking seventh I hope you guys had a great weekend I'm coming at you from the motherfucking Jersey compound direct the weekend was tip-top Magoo 90 fucking degrees it's 90 gonna be 90 today again I know I got the sweatshirt and I enjoy what he got a sweatshirt it's early cocksuck this don't trust me in a little while I have my little fucking karate chop shirt on aka cops shirt you know the ones that they arrestion the cops when they come to your house on bad

boys bad boys yeah or I fucking have the fucking wife be the whatever the fuck you want to call it I'll have it on later on but anyway it was a great weekend I usually don't have I'm in the habit of fucking answering emails online on a podcast I've never really what I usually do is to be honest with you is I combine a few emails from different people that the same genre apply to and I'll try to apply the story that day to fill that genre without them knowing and a week later they'll hit me up going Jesus Christ you described exactly what I was feeling I won't let them know that I read what they were feeling from an

email I'll just flip it on them it's just something that I've been doing for years that I when I read your emails I'm not writing down mental notes that you guys are asking me like little questions maybe struggles you're going through whether it's patreon Facebook you know whatever I always look through emails and I answer as many as I can back because I think that's a gentle mentally thing to do so this week I got an email that I the guy's name is Robert I won't tell you his last name but he it was a very long email at first I looked at it and I go the balls on this guy but I try you know I took I took speed reading and

composition in high school so I learned how to look for key words and he said prison and losing faith and a couple things so I said you know what I'm about to go to bed let me read this fucking email and just see what he was talking about and he said maybe he had been out of prison for 90 days he had done two years for a theft of a checkbook and blah blah blah blah blah blah he had never been in trouble before the drugs let him there you know it was like reading my own fucking biography you know he's clean now you know he just smokes reefer he's got a job he's he's engaged you know everything is going

great in his life and you know when you get out of prison or when something traumatized is happening in your life maybe you're in the service or something and everything is going well you're always waiting for the other motherfucking shoe to drop you're like oh shit things are going too fucking well the other shoe's gonna drop or I'm gonna fuck up purposely I'm gonna fuck up purposely because you know I don't need the success of my life like where's this coming from trust me I was the king of doing it and Robert I gotta tell you you know I know how you feel right now you think that the fucking walls are gonna

cave in the cops forgot to fucking press a charge on you for jay walking in 1983 you feel that people are looking at you I remember for months after I got out of prison even when I was in the halfway house I would go shopping and I felt people were looking at me and I would feel fucking terrible I would feel like shit you know and you just plow through it you keep your chin up and you push to do the good job to do better and better and trust me you're gonna have slip-ups along the way we always do did you guys watch the Ethan Soupley podcast on Joe Rogan it took him 20 years to accomplish a diet it took me 12 years to

accomplish this diet that is finally working for me so it takes time you have to do different chemistries different formulas you know when people say to you I've experimented with drugs well I don't know what the fuck you're talking about I've experimented with my life you experiment you you take a look back every eight weeks and you go you know what that's not working it's not fucking working for me it's it's working against what I'm fucking trying to do so and that's how I overcame those felonious feelings and even though I was still doing crimes I wasn't doing felonies you know I was doing minus shit you know

bringing back receipts and getting shit from Kmart and receipt rentals and shit like that after I got into comedy I really was embarrassed by my felt felonious behavior and my felonious record so the first five or six years I gotta be honest with you I hit it from everybody I didn't discuss it I didn't talk about it I didn't you know it was just one of those things then at 94 when I went back to Colorado I got exposed at that fucking Christmas party at fucking sprinkler auto sales and then people were like you know we remembered you know people forget people have a short memory you know 20 years ago I'm not

saying nothing bad Mike Tyson rapes and body it was a setup we all know it was a setup years later yeah you know you ever hear Thompson go his story on the fucking podcast when he bumped into Mike Tyson he had a circle of people around them 20 of them were women we have a short memory as Americans we forgive and that's fine so you know for me I forgave myself over time like the thing that I was doing was I was getting into something I'm getting into comedy and I kept trying one thing I'm learning about writing this book is that from 1983 to 19 to 2021 I could look you in the eye and tell you I never stopped fucking trying like I

always kept trying yeah I fell on my face but I kept fucking trying I would fall on my ass but I kept trying you know four steps forward one step back I fucking get it that's the way it is if you can't handle it then don't go for it and fucking sit in bed and eat subway sandwiches till they find the body you know I'm saying I don't know what the fuck to tell you but I do know that eventually I just felt normal I didn't do anything I didn't participate in anything in a felonious way once I was done with my time I was done with my time I didn't want to sign up for any newsletters I didn't want to go to any

therapy groups of convicts crying of what they did to him in there and what they expected and what they didn't expect listen the bottom line was I fucked up I did my time and now it was time to start all over again from the fucking new and every six months I'd get I get fucking whacked you know I was doing great in 1991 when I got on stage but what wasn't doing great was my home life and sure enough in the middle of everything I'm starting comedy I'm happy boom I get hit with a fucking divorce papers how do you think that knocked that knocked the wind out of my sales but I quit comedy no that I fucking go

to a therapist no I just knew I had to keep doing fucking comedy and you know roll with the punches and go broke and higher attorneys but throughout that whole thing I didn't fucking stop doing comedy I didn't give a fuck who's a fuck son stop you when you fucking love something you know so throughout time the felony thing wore off I met Tim Allen like I told that story early in the year and now I felt I had the green light in comedy and the felony I did not let the felony define who the fuck I was that's the most important thing I refused to let that felony define who the fuck I was yes I made a mistake yes

I paid my dues to society but no I was not gonna wear it on my sleeve and say oh I'm never gonna get a job doing this because I'm a felon I'm never gonna get a job doing this because I'm a felon you know right now I'm doing the best I've done in the last nine months I'm telling you guys I don't know what the fuck happened I had a talk on Wednesday of last week with Rudy Sarzo and Duncan Trussell two of the smartest motherfuckers I know in the world two guys who are professionals at talking you off a mountain they'd talk you off a cliff I'm sorry mountain who goes to the fucking mountain a fucking hiker then he gets

lost and they gotta send a helicopter looking for the fucking hiker and I gotta be happy when they find this fucking moron because they didn't bring a fucking compass with him he makes the four o'clock news found hiker in the hills of Jersey go fuck yourself you should have left them there and let the bears get them next time you bring a compass and some water cocksucker anyway I don't even know what the fuck I was talking about so so Rudy and Duncan they called you know we were talking back and forth and I asked Duncan if he was doing comedy and he said that he tried and the club owners wanted the

club to charge this and this and he goes you know what that's what I didn't want anymore I didn't want the bullshit so I turned it down so he goes now I noticed that there's some open mics in the area that I'm gonna jump on you know and I explained to him my concerns I go you know I'm moving forward in a lot of areas but the place I'm having the hardest area with the stand up and he's like listen you did the smartest thing you could do you got your family out of there that's enough that's what you were supposed to do you weren't supposed to sit there and wait for somebody to kick down your family's door for you to do

stand up at the store you did the right thing so I don't want you to look back and whatever and I know I did everything there is solid but Rudy even added better to it he said you know what your stand up what people attract about your podcast what people attracted to you just naturally on stages because your heart your heart is not considered a muscle anymore it's considered an organ that's why when they have heart transplants people experience feelings of the person who gave the heart before because your heart has a mind of its own and your heart lets your mind know when it's time for different things and you

know what whether you guys agree with it or not it makes a lot of sense and he backed his story he said that when he was in Ozzy Osbourne's band that was everything ever wanted I mean you think about it you're a 24 year old fucking kid you're hanging out with a skinny guitar player who turned out to be one of the greatest guitar players in the history of the world and all of a sudden you get an audition for Ozzy Osbourne who's coming off a nine album run with one of the greatest bands of all time and and not only that you get the job you get the job you put an album together your tour the tour was a success they

put together another armed diary of a madman the tour was a success and the middle of the tour his best friend dies and within a week they start the tour with a replacement but Rudy said every time he looked over he didn't see Randy there and and all of a sudden he lost his will and he said that he did the live album with Ozzy and it was time to move on there was no hard feelings he just felt that he didn't want to play the bass anymore his Rudy Sarzo doesn't want to play the bass anymore you just achieved your biggest goal in life then you don't want to play the fucking bass anymore so he took some time to himself he hung out

with his family and one day he got a call from one of the guys from quiet right to finish up an album and that they did the album and he goes the reason why I did the album wasn't because they were stars I did the album because while I went down there to help them I fell in love with the base again and I fell in love with this and look by falling in love and it came from passion the album went to be one of the biggest selling albums of all fucking time and heavy metal genre so this all starts with passion I have a passion for doing podcasting I love doing podcasting I love making you guys laugh I love

making you guys cry I love making you guys think I love making you guys aware of things that I'm going through maybe you're going through and we're putting them together I love all this shit you know I booked a movie you know and had to put the audition on tape you know for the last three months I've had to put auditions on tape and they've made me nervous I got uncomfortable I was getting migraine headaches I don't want to do them and I said you know what I could just tell them no and here's the funny thing I got one this week but I turned it down because it was $209 a day I'm a real deal I can't fucking be an

actor for 209 a day then they want to take me off the charge for 30 days that means I can't go somewhere with my daughter I can't do none because I got a shoot of movie in Poughkeepsie for $209 a day I need that and then at the end of the day nobody sees these fucking movies anyway so I told them listen I don't want to read for this but if they want to make an offering give me a producer credit Uncle Joey will show up there tip top my go I'm the first one there and the last one to leave you know I'm saying you know me there's no games on Uncle Joey so I fucking put an audition on tape last week as a detective

how's that one for you I thought it was a stretch I did a couple things to make myself look like a detective it was one line goddamn I could remember it because that's been my biggest problem I can't remember dick thank God to Mike and thank God to a dear friend of mine Erica Florentine who I'm writing the book to she said I could get a teleprompter online Mike find me one that you could download and now auditions are fucking tremendous because I could fucking teleprompter was like the ad I did for fucking blue blocks couple weeks ago they're talking about scientific shit and shit I'm up three days trying to

memorize my shit it's done it's done that mechanism left you know and so now with the teleprompter I could help when I had that audition the line was easy enough listen I put the audition on tape about ten days ago and I still know the line so it's an easy line it's something I would say so I'm not surprised I got the movie if I shoot I shoot this Friday so I should be getting a call for wardrobe I'm gonna have to go into the city and they're gonna have to dress me up like a detective and hopefully it goes somewhere and if it doesn't it was funny because I was talking to my wife and you know I was

telling about the feelings I had about not wanting to get on stage right now and just doing other things and really concentrating on the book and maybe focusing on the podcast and getting a studio and all this shit and she goes you know I have a feeling that you're gonna start working in New York a lot more I think you're not given it a chance you've only been here a couple months you just got this agent New York I think it's gonna it'll open up for you and fucking you know what a couple weeks later I started I got a fucking you know whatever that's a lawn auto audition you know I blew that one I got

another audition I blew that one I blew the Godfather audition I blew that one but I knew that it's just as numbers guys if you sweat after every fucking audition you're gonna die plus it's on tape that's the reason from day one even as a stand-up I detested when people call you up and say hey send us a tape you know what go fuck yourself you cannot get the full but wow of Uncle Joey without a fucking with a tape if you're just gonna see me on stage doing seven minutes of material you're not gonna understand what I'm about I want you to see me walk into the club I want you to see me walk into the club 15

minutes early and how I keep the waitstaff and how I talk to the customers and how I am in the green room whether I show up with 20 fucking losers or just myself whether I'm drinking or I'm not drinking all these things will determine whether you come back and if you're gonna judge me I don't think you have the right to judge me off for fucking tape but because of COVID and the whole thing they're doing auditions off tape I got the longest yard off tape in 2004 so I know that tape works it just sometimes it doesn't it's like zoom you know but you do the best you can you get better at it I put this audition on tape

Friday night at 1044 I was sitting downstairs with my wife watching the mayor of Eaton Town with my fucking girl from the Titanic and the next thing you know I got a fucking message that I was in the running for the role and I asked my agent what it meant and he goes you probably got it and I gotta tell you something I was kind of happy I do want a little acting thing I always thought about junior soprano how he got that job later on in his life and it turned out to be the role of his fucking life I'm waiting for a fastball like that you know like I said I'm sure after the soprano movie comes out I'll

do a little stand-up and whatnot and have a good time locally but you know I don't know I don't know right now the future is uncertain but the end is always near let it roll baby roll you know right now in my life I feel the biggest adjustment I've had to make the last nine months has been my new role you know my new role of not traveling being around a lot more helping my wife with child focusing on patreon trying to open up different avenues whether it was the book or whatever but at times I felt guilty and I said this a couple weeks ago on the podcast I don't know what episode it was I felt like I'm

always living a lie I'm living a lie that right now I should have either been dead or in prison but that's not the case I'm here with a little girl and a wife who I get along great with in less than 30 days we're about to be be together for 21 years you look at a guy like me you're like who can hang out with you for 21 minutes but I don't know I got a girl to fall in love with me and I fell in love with her and that's what it is you know but I gotta tell you a story and then we'll wrap it up I know what you got shit to do on a motherfucking Monday morning so I when I first got into comedy it was July of 81 July 16th

that's when we're launching the new cocoa motion weed from ice cream shop so I'll keep you guys posted on that and that's when the 30 and the verse of the NFT will also be coming out I'll keep you posted on that that's the type of motherfucker I am you know I'm saying and we got a lot of things happening in July we a lot of things happening in June we got a soprano movie coming out in August September I'm gonna try to get my patreon people to maybe get a theater somewhere close by and we could all do a screening no pictures no nothing just watch the fucking movie shut your mouth and we'll do a Q&A

afterward we'll goof around I'll let you smell one of my farts and everybody goes home fucking happy I'm just listen guys I'm just go go working outside the box here but I'm gonna tell you why I'm the luckiest I've ever am because when I started comedy right before I started comedy that January I was living in bold I was a host at a car wash I was there on a Sunday I had a wife I had a baby girl at the house how my daughter had to be around a year at the at that time and I was working the host window what's a host window people pull up and you're like hey how you doing what type of wash do you want for your car today

and they're like oh we want the regular you're like yeah but you got rims you got to wash the rims plus it snowed two inches last week you want to add some undercoating and they're like yeah how much for out for $16 you listen I'll tell you what I'll throw it in for 18 and I'll throw the whole fucking thing and you know Uncle Joey you know I'm saying always wheeling and dealing always trying to make a commission I would sell I would always sell high commission stuff but give them the low commission stuff for free and they felt good about themselves oh I'll do the windows all the tires so I'm doing this fucking gig

and somewhere along the line blah blah blah I get into comedy and I quit the job and everything is going great in my life and one Sunday I'm working at this car wash and this family comes in and they have an aft freshener that has a Cuban fucking flag on it and at that time in 1991 I had just done some time I was living in San Francisco I had lived in Colorado and the last thing I had seen in months was a Cuban person I was take you know I right away welcomed them and I go at it so go on and they looked at me like yeah like they had been looking for a Cuban also they were out there surrounded with fucking Gentiles

so they're like yeah and we start talking we just moved from Miami we've been here about six months we own a company blah blah blah blah blah blah blah so I said you know I gave them the works for like five bucks and I go get out of the car and we'll talk and we talked and it was the dad the mom the daughter her husband the brother-in-law and the and the other brother-in-law he at the time he had to be around ten very fucking nice family you know we chatted for about 20 minutes that car was ready they gave me a tip and then they invited me over they said but it's Super Bowl Sunday do you want to swing by they told me where

they lived and I go wait a second I live right there too I live eight doors down oh shit I ain't come by so boom I went by there and I met the family and they cooked for me and they were very nice and I gotta tell you it felt great to be around a Cuban family it just felt great for the afternoon and I went back and at that time me and my wife weren't you know I'm the best she thought I was over there doing fucking kilo deals and stuff and I'm just over there just meeting new people you know so little by little we became friends me and her and the family and one dad tried to put the families together and my ex-wife was

too starting to get up and eat by then and you know I don't want to hang with Spanish people they're like a little low-class whatever they were they were but they're very proud they worked hard every day and they were just great people they give you the fucking shit off their back so we break up you know and who comes to my fucking corner but these Cuban people you know I didn't even have silverware she came over and gave me silverware and would invite me all for dinner every night and you know pretty soon I was just a regular member of the family I would go over there every night but she had two younger

brothers and the one brother was in high school he was a great baseball player with great potential but the medium brother was a little bit of bots he was if I was this is 91 so I'm 28 he had to be around 23 I knew there was a problem because he was a ice ice baby fan he loved vanilla ice he thought vanilla ice was Jimmy Page he would argue with you that vanilla ice was a better writer than John Lennon I mean it was surreal like he thought vanilla ice was better than Prince I mean he was just on a different planet but he also loved that song Rico Suave so you got to take this with a grain of salt yeah the guy had a

natural bad taste for fucking music I wasn't angry with him but the younger brother had a reputation as a klepto he had clipped you know the brother-in-law Danny who was a great guy we get them little jobs and after a while I end up getting the impression that Danny had gotten them like four jobs and he had gotten fired from all four of them for doing stupid shit taking like a flashlight you know it's December 18th 1991 and I'm headed to the finals of the broker Joker competition I'm doing comedy six months and here I am in the finals of a national competition we at that time every Tuesday that I performed that feet

that Danny and his wife would hire a babysitter they would get the retarded brother ice I say baby to watch my nephew junior and they would come to the show and cheer me on and we would have a couple drinks do a couple of lines you know same shit no big deal well this December 18th is a special night for me I mean it's really fucking special I'm separated I miss my daughter I have no job I lost my job and the thing I wanted the most is is happening I'm in a fucking national contest you know wow Jesus Christ I should be a static and I was and I went down there and there was a little drama that I spoke about before

about the fight out of gas money and once we overcame that I went up there and ripped the fucking room apart and won the fucking finals we party you know till about one in the morning we're doing bumps we know we don't have a lot of money but we're doing a couple bumps we're drinking we're getting free drinks from the broker and we go back we go let's just go back to Danny's and finish off the package but as we pull up this three cop cars now it's December 18th of 1991 we go inside the cops are there do you people live here yes we do we're all coked up the cocaine high jump Saudi you ever been coked up you've been

high and the doorbell rings the CUP S man and you open up the door and the high just jumps out of you and it stands next to you in the corner it goes you're on your own you know I'm saying you're been that position so the fucking coke high just jumped out of us and we're like what's going on we thought they were there for me for the child support you know whatever my wife would have told them no they were there because ice ice baby decided he had a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken and he decided to steal the manager's suitcase with the coats to the safe and all this shit there was some cash in there so they

take them in they arrest them and I think we bailed them out within two or three days it's to the holidays past I think after the holidays he robbed his brother-in-law's partner he robbed his house and he got a spank in the hand for that we apologized to the kid but then he went to a different company that he knew his brother-in-law was friends with he applied for the job and he stole the van and that was it that created events you know he couldn't get bail he stayed in there and so on and so forth you know this story by heart already you know 93 I moved to fucking Jersey I came back in 9 October of 93 where's this he's

still in fucking jail you know 95 where's this he's getting out of jail 95 he got out he hooked up with some chubby chick he impregnated her he robbed the car and he went back into fucking jail and then I left Colorado but I kept in touch with this family because all those years they were very good to me they were on my side one of my toughest situations they let me their cars I had my daughter's birthday parties at their house they were just a great family and they were there for me so I kept in touch with them over the years that the end every every conversation I would ask about it and they would say oh he's

still in jail or he's out with another girl he knocked her up he was just coming out of jail knocking up bitches and getting arrested well this one on till about 2013 he got out and finally Danny got him another job against his best fucking whatever and he pregnant another girl and he fucking got arrested again and you know nobody heard from him he was in the system and this is how life goes and now it's 2121 the other damn driving here it's a beautiful day to be alive I usually lift and then I do a little walk therapy so I said let me go for a little walk therapy and the phone rang and it was junior and we

started talking and I go hey out of coincidence how's fucking Ishmael doing he goes you're not gonna believe it the state of Colorado is gonna parole him within the next two weeks on one condition that he leaves Colorado they want them to they're gonna parole him to Florida they even gonna buy him a plane ticket he can never step foot to get in Colorado and I go ish me junior I go you know what's crazy about that it's 30 years this whole ordeal started December 18th of 91 and this kid is going home let's assume July of 2011 it's been 30 years so when I look at my life and I say to myself Jesus Christ I'm so

lucky for being here that I ended up with a house instead of being in prison or in jail I think of that kid and I think of how he's gonna come on a prison now the age of 50 he's gonna be in Miami I don't have to tell you what type of city Miami is this rough and fucking tumble and with all the no disrespect I don't want to end up in the front page of Yahoo or whatever but with all the fucking you know immigrants down there the high-end immigrants it's tough to get a job if you're really really looking you know and I just can't imagine being eight years younger you know at 50 I had mercy I can't believe at 50 I would have

to start my life up again so thinking about that story the other day when junior called me over the weekend really made me think how fortunate I am that I was in the same position that ish at some time and today here I am and today and I'm not putting them down and I'm not judging I'm just letting you know how my life could have gone instead of the way I have it today and why I'm grateful you guys and why I'm happy I'm here and every Monday and Wednesday sometimes I show up with a guest sometimes I got I'm solo but sometimes I just want to tell you something maybe a little story to help you out on the Monday morning and

that's what I did today on a beautiful beautiful June 7th I get I think she's got 11 days left to school then the summer starts we're going down the shore once a week you know we got the swim club we got the whole thing I found out the fucking pools not heated so if you see me and I look like an Eskimo don't worry about it it's at the pools not heated but you know what I'm all setting ready to go and it's Monday morning this is gonna be the best week of your life and that's it and that's that I'm happy it took the fucking 45 minutes to listen to my mother fucking here beating if you want more you could

also join me on patreon I do a couple podcasts on there and the NFTs get released on the 16th it doesn't guarantee that you get one I only release 200 and whether you want when you buy one if you know you have to buy one don't ask me Joey what an NFT is Google it and get into the Bitcoin world and do whatever the fuck you need to fucking do to get you ahead of the fucking game I see that already from the May release some people have made money on Bitcoin not one of you says thank me you dirty cocksuckers but don't worry about it I did it I don't I don't need thanks from you guys I wanted you to make a little money and

enjoy yourself with the fucking cards and just being a part of the future is great when you're 50 old and 58 years old and you got one foot in the grave one of banana peel but remember I'm always your uncle Joey and that's all that fucking matters to the end I love you cocksuckers see you Wednesday tip top McGoo with a guest and I'm happy you listen today all right and now for a motherfucking word from our sponsors bitch let's do this all right I want to thank you guys for listening today today was a short quick one I don't want to take a lot of your time up we got plenty of time all summer to talk shit I got

plenty of new things happening so like I said get ready a fucking rod but before we abandon ship the joint is brought to you by zip recruiter listen good help is hard to find it's like trying to find a nickel bag in church you know I'm saying you're not gonna find it you can post your job online on a corkboard down the laundry mat but then you got to sit there and hope some guy walks by that drinks coffee and sits there and watches it stop dreaming just try zip recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash Joey they do the work for you with one click your job gets sent to over a hundred job sites and here's where

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is draft kings joey why do you love draft kings so much because it's not just about fucking being an asshole and gambling and trying to be a winner they make it fun like if you join up every day you get an email at some point of the day do you think Stefan whatever will make a three point a better dollar and win $18 what you don't need $18 gas is five dollars a gallon cocksuckers who are you kidding plus they got a million ways to you to get it on the action prop pets pools casino fantasy whatever you're into they fucking got it you understand me basketball players are heating up the first round is over the nicks went the fucking south the

Lakers went south LeBron James went to the locker room crying I bet he bet himself like Pete Rose he's over there hugging Peter after the game right now you got Brooklyn and Milwaukee that series started Friday and the games are going to be epic it's been almost 10 years since the next left jersey and they might as well go all the way this year that's what people are looking for but you never seen a bookie with a part-time job looking with uncle joey and draft kings are doing for you this week we're doing the for the playoffs you can turn a dollar

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one wallet come on draft king sportsbook is safe secure reliable deposit and withdraw your funds at your convenience you're watching the game anyway you're gonna sit there it's on cnn uh tnn whatever the fuck it is why make it not interesting right you bet the over you up you you pray for them to score it's the playoffs they play a little bit of defense so the under's been coming in had the lake is in the under i think uh the other night

so have some fun i'm not talking you to get go crazy or be a degenerate you bet with what you got 20 dollars boom boom boom and there you go so download the top rated draft king sportsbook app or the fantasy app use promo code joey when you sign up to turn a dollar into 100 and free credits bet on basketball team of your choice whether it be i don't even know i think the Celtics got eliminated that's why Milwaukee's playing the Celtics you got Utah you got uh no you got Denver yeah you got some great teams left

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see draftkings.com slash sportsbook for details now if you got a gambler in poem i don't want you to bring your fucking bad luck over the draft kings keep it somewhere else call 1-800-GAMBER or in indiana call 1-800-9 with it now if you're not got no problems and you know how to control your emotions and you're not a fucking gavone download the draft king sportsbook app now and let's win some fucking D this all right i love you motherfucker stay black have a great weekend i want to thank the joint and i want to thank zipp

recruiter for having our back what great weekend let's have a great week we're just gonna kick off the week with nothing but love heart and enthusiasm i love you cocksuckers i'll see you wednesday morning tip top magoo ready to fucking go will i be high by then who knows i don't have a fortune ball no more i got the two swinging between my legs have a great fucking week enjoy your monday

oh yeah there you go puff the magic candle cocksuckers you you