Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #083 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, July 26th..... This episode is brought to you by Relief Band & Magnesium Breakthrough..... Go to https://www.ReliefBand.com Enter Code: JOEY Go to https://www.MagBreakthrough.com/JOEY Enter Code: JOEY10 Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint  The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday the 26th of July the joint is brought to you by Relief ban. Did you know a third of Americans regularly suffer from nausea? Listen man, I don't really have nausea But when I had the surgery after the surgery is when I got the nausea from the pain pills I didn't know what to do. But before I got my surgery. I got a box in the mail and it was relief band Listen, I didn't even know what a relief band was. I thought I called the doctor's office. I called everybody. Did you send me a relief band? I called Bob LaLingus. Nobody knew who sent me a relief band. Then one day my agent called me. She goes, hey

Did you get the relief band? I go, Jesus Christ. How'd you even know I was gonna have surgery? She goes, I didn't I just sent it to you. They wanted they wanted you to fucking read their lines on the show So I was like, oh my god, this is tremendous I put the fucking the relief band on and I was excited as fuck no nausea during my I had like two bouts of nausea from the pain pills and that was because I was in the car driving relief band Help me with the fucking nausea. Relief band is the number one FDA clear the anti nausea wrist band That has been clinically proven to relief and prevent nausea and vomiting the product is a hundred percent drug-free Here's how it works relief band

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You What's happening you bad motherfuckers welcome to a beautiful Monday, July the 26th We got one more week left in the year and out of the year the fucking month And that's it this fucking summer is cooking motherfuckers like I knew it would I knew this summer was gonna move Just think about it next Sunday Will be two months to the release of the fucking Sopranos So it's moving fucking fast. It's real and it's on cocksuckers. I've been having a great time lately. I

Feel good until this afternoon when I go back and they're gonna do a left side They're gonna fucking rip it up and whatever, but like I said, I'm getting I called them up and told them I was traumatized So I'm gonna get a little fucking laughing gas not the reefer. I don't smoke before the dentist Don't forget to support laughing gas. You guys are fucking it's almost done. It's almost done the new fucking stock will be out in 10 days, but Please keep supporting Zeke the weed is fucking tremendous. I was telling Mike. I'm starting to get fucking blitzed Blitzed Friday fucking night. My wife and daughter went out to a fair. I got home by 6 30. There was no dinner You know, I'm like, huh, I'm not really that hungry. I go, you know what man? I've been getting I've been getting to the point I've been getting so fucking stoned that night that I got to be honest with you guys. I fucking I

Co-op said remember when I used to the stories on Rogan about the fucking The fucking cheese doodles how I would stop I couldn't stop eating them and I'd wake up in the morning and there'd be fucking Pirates booty everywhere. I'm not eating the pirates booty, but I'm fucking eating at night not big meals Not like LA sandwiches. There's no salami. There's no prosciutto. I told my wife not to buy no cheese. Nothing. It's apples. It's protein bars. It's Let fucking Friday night. I had a bagel. I had a cinnamon bagel with butter. I was so fucking hungry So I'm not eating like meals. I'm just eating a little something to go to bed and I'm sleeping like a fucking champ Look at me. I'm losing weight. I'm still on the fucking I got nine more pounds and I can fight in the UFC. Can you fucking believe that nine more pounds? I'm two

70 fucking four. I'm squeezing them out one at a time. But who gives a fuck My gums got swollen again over the fucking weekend. So I don't know What the fuck is going on? My health is good. I'm feeling good And what I want to talk to you guys about is something that I've read lately a lot I'm getting a lot of messages from people It's been a long time and I knew it that this pandemic because I went through it a lot of people picked up bad habits during this fucking pandemic we discussed this a few weeks ago, but wow I'm getting calls from dear friends of mine that are coming clean now telling me what they went through the fucking pandemic

I had a buddy from Colorado who I speak to Who's been clean from cocaine longer than I have and He fucking relapsed during the pandemic like that last November He just called me about a week ago and came clean with me that he had to go back to a fucking rehab because I talked to him Like every two weeks. He's a dear friend of mine from when I started comedy He's never been on the podcast. Nothing like that. He's a fucking electrician, you know But with dear friends I love him to death

but when he fucking told me because He was the one that tried to help me get off the fucking coke When I got off it back in 2007, you know, he was making calls from me He's like you sure you don't want to go to a rehab He was captain rehab at the time by the way, you know those dudes that fucking get clean and go all in This is why I'm in fucking shock but I guess this pandemic fucking just he said he was bored and He went to a kid's house that he shouldn't have been at his house and the kid whipped out some coke

And he said that he watched the guy do it and he thought about it for two days It's fucking weird because I'll tell you what somebody hit me up the other day and was Asking me throughout this whole Period that I've been going through whatever I was going through That it was a good time for me to do coke was I doing coke or did I consider doing coke? And I'm like not at all and that was the last thing on my mind, you know I mean and he's like really and I'm like, yeah, no, there's been nothing No thoughts of it, you know when I got off the coke. I got off the coke. They did me a fucking favor

That was a 28 year itch that was fucking destroying me And you know what like some people say to you and I if you keep doing this listen, I was gonna die There was no I was getting jolts in my spine. I was doing a bunch It was you know, I downplayed my addiction because it was a long time ago I downplayed my addiction, but let me tell you something after I got clean about eight months. I Talked to this guy Byron in LA. He's a drug Certification type guy that helps like fucking actors and people with a lot of fucking money get clean

I met him at the comedy store and 98 99 and then we you know, he was like a friend of Ralphies and I met him through Ralphie and After I got clean He reached out to me and he's like, hey man, I always knew you were fucked up on something He goes I could see it all over your face and stuff, but I didn't know You know what you were doing. We went out to lunch and I Told him the amounts. I was doing he he was like, what were you doing a gram? I was I go dog

I was doing a gram just to open up You know once that wore off in an hour. I Could do a gram in one fucking line. So once that wore off in an hour I would sometimes hold off But sometimes I get another fucking gram and I would do it and the other fucking knows one shot deal Towards the end of my fucking before I got clean. I was a mess. There was heroin involved. There was cocaine involved There was I don't know if there was no there was no pills It was just basically cocaine and heroin I was going back and forth in between the both of them and nobody knew

One person knew about the heroin. He's dead now. So he came that you know He was the one that was mailing it to me and none of my friends knew I mean It's not something that you could tell Rogan or Tom Segoro or you know, anybody. I wasn't saying shit to anybody But what's really funny is that even my buddy in Colorado was like Listen man, I had to go back to therapy And I'm like you went back to there was that bad and he goes. Yeah I was doing a couple eight balls on the weekends and shit like that So he asked me he said did you go to therapy when you got clean?

And I was like, no, I just journaled I went online and I looked for withdrawal symptoms of cocaine and whatnot and There weren't really any, you know, I read up as much as I could there was three aspects of The rehab and that's the mental the physical withdrawals and then your spiritual, you know that this is all things you got to cover And again, I'm not talking about fucking a and a and nothing like that. That's always there. That's always gonna be there but I'm talking about the fucking how Therapy has helped me now like I never Thought that I would be here talking to you motherfuckers about therapy. I guys I would never even think about it

I got there a pie is one time. I went to therapy one time I'll be strictly honest with you guys when I was at BCTC at the halfway house One of the stories I was telling on Whatever was that when I was a BCTC one of the things I forget to drop on you motherfuckers is that I Got one of the hot you ways I gave when I was telling you guys the story the other day What they did was they made me go to an outpatient place. I forget what the name of it was It was like six weeks and between me and you it was a fucking rip-off like I never I Looked at that rehab and I was like that rehab

Did nothing for me It don't think it did was aggravate me and make me snort more. That's what that rehab did that rehab was just like a fucking band They didn't do anything and I think the therapy that they were using was getting me fucking hot The lady there was it got to the point where I wouldn't even say nothing. I would just go there at nights It was like from six to nine with a little breather in between and I had a chick there from the halfway house We would go outside in between the fucking break and take a hit off a fucking joint and from time to time She'd let me lick a little monkey and she'd fucking give me a fucking hooter Unbelievable in the middle of fucking therapy. We'd walk out to say we were gonna go smoke a cigarette

I didn't even smoke back fucking then so I didn't smoke in the fucking half way I didn't start smoking till I moved to LA in 97. That's a complete different bag of fucking worms But I never really liked therapy. I was like what the fuck Whenever they would do the I didn't mind the the group the fucking group because you don't have to say shit You learn more from fucking listening. I dig that shit I didn't like the one-on-one with her She would always pick a shit and she would instigate stuff and she would bring up stuff That had nothing to do with the fucking price of eggs. It's like I was watching the Sopranos

Years ago and you know, they got to the point where Dr. Melphie was telling Tony that maybe he wanted to fuck his mother that all that that's when I you lose me That's when you lose me when you start bringing your mother and you start fucking Talking about, you know, I mean, no There's things that are on your mind and there's things that are In front of you. I don't like picking shit like I don't like somebody saying to me Well, how did you feel about this in 2001? That that's dead. I don't even think about that shit You want me to dig it up to deal with it, but there's nothing to deal with I don't even think about it

So why am I dealing with it? You understand trying to say to you people? Well, you know, how did you react to losing your daughter into? I reacted by fucking getting high until the pain went away. That's what happened the pain went away I stopped getting high and I moved the fuck on. That's what I think fucking happened I don't know what else fucking could have happened. You just the pain ain't there no more The necessity is not there anymore and I stopped doing the fucking coke, but I didn't think That me going to talk to somebody was gonna I thought that it would fucking aggravate me I thought I would just get fucking aggravated boy was I fucking wrong, you know Three months ago two months ago when I was going through my thing of the panic attacks on whatever somebody recommended to me

That I speak to somebody and I was like, uh, it took me like a month to think about it. And I said, you know what a Lot of people have gone through mental health issues during this pandemic You know, it's just not me, you know for me not to fucking address this That's the fucking felony when you don't address it Let me do what I need to do. You know, I I read about Psychologists and I read about everything and I just wanted to start off with a simple therapist I didn't want to fucking pick my brain or get me fucking upset. I was just I just wanted to keep it fucking light I didn't want to go to anybody's office. I didn't want nobody, you know

So I want I'm better help better help calm is fucking tremendous Somebody referred me to it a dear friend that was going through a similar situation She told me to call and contact a certain therapist. I went online. I paid the fee I think it's fucking $80 a session or something like that $60 a session It doesn't kill you and if you want an extra session a week, it's 25 bucks. It's not Bad, I went into it thinking ah Ah And I got to be honest with you

I'm here today because of that fucking third voice and I turned to a lot of friends of mine I turned to people who really knew me for help, but I wanted an unbiased opinion I wanted somebody who did not see my face when we talked to tell me what I was going through I didn't want to get or him to get fucking by videos or From stand-up. I didn't go in there with that. I wanted to talk to them as a normal Playing Jane as I moved on with the therapy I opened up about comedy and what was going on and blah blah blah And now she still doesn't know who the fuck I am

She calls me Jose. So that's great as long as she calls me Jose That's great. She doesn't know who the fuck I am, but I've opened up to her Not about Like it wasn't like the therapy from fucking uh that rehab not at all This has been I do the talking She asked a few questions And I fucking You know do the homework she gives me a little bit of homework

I write whatever things down. I tell you what man I feel a lot fucking better. I got it off my chest Whatever I have I'm very vocal with my wife Unlike how I used to be I'm very vocal with my wife I tell her whatever the fuck is going on. I tell her what I'm thinking She knows About fucking everything. I came clean with her before we moved here And once we moved here she helped me out. Listen, man

What happened during the pandemic was this And for me it wasn't the booze or the reefer for me towards the end. I saw what happened to me You know, nobody had a place to be Nobody had a place to be during the fucking pandemic think about it. This is what happened. Nobody had a place to be So if you started drinking at five, which I got nothing but love for you this I have a thousand friends That have rules And I love you for having those rules the same rules I have But people who were drinking at five

Now started drinking at one That know where to be I thought I did the same fucking thing You know, I had no where to be what's wrong with fucking getting fucking schnizzled I smoked so much during this fucking pandemic That it forced me to fucking quit like that was the fucking like I couldn't even like this again Like I'm gonna get high again. That's how high I was during the pandemic. I didn't want to feel I was just like you guys You know, hey, listen, man, I put my pants on one leg at a time like you motherfuckers There's nothing special about me. I ain't smarter than you motherfuckers. I I'm not more educated than you motherfuckers

In fact, I'm more street than you motherfuckers. I just you know, I'm that's it. It was just the only thing available to me Was the reefer I didn't I didn't drink. I think I had Three drinks during the pandemic the first drink I had was on rogan on when I did the july the fourth podcast with him on the JRE we did a shot of whiskey I didn't drink but my smoking Was totally out of control forget about the edibles I was eating edibles. I didn't even know I had I was eating You know, we were eating 2000 milligrams at night. No, no, no I was doing a batch in the daytime and a batch at night when I got here

August 19th last year. I got here with a jar I had a fucking jar of abx 200 that he just sent me It was just a jar and I still remember eating four of them Just to go to a fucking pool when we were in summer set Four that's 800 milligrams at 11 o'clock just to go fucking swimming And then at night I would come back from the pool. We would go fucking look for furniture, whatever Before we moved into this house. I was eating 1600 milligrams a day

Of fucking thc. I was smoking maybe an eighth A day and I was probably doing Six to eight footballs a day. I was the little xanax the appraisal lamb whatever the fuck that is That's not fucking good And I went off those things. Let me tell you something when I got here My wife said something to me My wife says you haven't been out and I go listen between the edibles The fucking xanax

The fucking reefer the fucking anxiety. I cannot take it no more That is why I had the surgery a lot of people the surgery Was for me to get clean from the xanax So I took the fucking I knew I was gonna get surgery I fucking did it perfectly. I think I got my whole life together I think I had a long talk with myself like maybe september 17th We went out to dinner one night

And I realized how high I was during fucking dinner and I go that's it. This goes To an end. This is done I came home. I called my man Byron I told him Byron. I fucking uh I started eating those little fucking footballs and I could kick them like in my I could kick them but When I went online, they said you could die xanax and alcohol You could fucking have a reaction and die if you just quit at cold turkey And then I heard from a friend of mine a chick

That she quit xanax and one day she just passed out in the kitchen And she ended up going to the hospital and they told us that you have to tape her off So I got what they said I called my man Byron Byron said this is this could be really easy Or this could be really hard He goes, I'm gonna give you a plan And I want you to stick through it to the tee If you can't control yourself then give the pills to your wife

And I did a tapering plan with him He got me some amino acids, you know, I had to order some amino acids. I had to order some calm Whatever I had to order a couple nutrients. He put me on And I did exactly what he told me to do. He told me it's going to be a 90 day Taper And he goes, you're not going to take him out on the daytime That's why I started meditating. That's why I started doing a little fucking Yoga stances, you know when I had dr. Belize on the church

I didn't have dr. Belize on there because I didn't believe in breathing or meditating You know the piece that I have that piece from boss rooting I have it upstairs because I use it before I go to bed at night I have a mouthpiece from boss rooting That I've been using just to for my lung strength, you know, I started using it for jiu-jitsu And I realized that it helps me out for everything You know, sometimes I hit the bag and I put the mouthpiece in it's fucking tough to do it takes a while to Get breathing but now since I lowered my smoking

The breathing is tremendous, but I just read on yahoo that if you Breathe through that piece for five minutes and take your blood pressure lowers your blood pressure. So what did I do? I fucking tried it. I got the fucking thing. I got the blood pressure machine I did the blood pressure test. It was 148 the first time I fucking breathed on it for 10 minutes. I got back on the blood pressure machine. It was 128. It dropped 20 fucking points So breathing Is key here when I put dr. Belize on that show a lot of people were like that

Why'd you put dr. Belize on that show and I told people I go I really believe in the benefits of just breathing Breathing correctly. That's why I had the surgery on my nose. Yeah I wanted to remove some of the old coke rocks that were in there not letting me breathe And I was also addicted to affrin But that's why I had the fucking nose surgery because I wanted to get back to breathing Naturally that that was very interesting that we we breathe naturally to will like our teen years And then we break away from breathing. I look at my daughter's breathing. My daughter could run for fucking two hours

That little fucking kid could run for two hours and she's not breathing mouth breathing or anything She's just just living her fucking life. So I knew the breathing part of it was important And then the anxiety I had I had to learn how to just deal with it with breathing and it was Tough guys. It was very tough. I'm not gonna lie to you. I used to come in here and do downward dogs I used to come in here and just sit keep the lights off And just breathe And that helped me a ton. But when I got off the fucking Xanax I just stuck to Byron's plan. That was it

It went from he goes forget about doing six anymore. Let's get back to basics Why are you eating these and at what time I go as soon as my heart beats? He goes, no I want you to breathe it out the first time. He goes, what we're gonna do is this we're not gonna do any until three in the afternoon And then if you need one pop one And then oh, no not pop one pop a half He took me back that way and then he goes that night. I want you to eat a half And just keep so I started with just I went from six

To maybe two a day And then after two weeks He cut it down to one And then he kept me on one even though I didn't want my dog. I don't even need these no more He goes finish the fucking prescription Finish it. He goes. I want you to finish it and Go to a half and then a quarter And I stayed with a half like a month

And I think I stayed with the quarter until mid-december And my goal was new years And I think I got off the fucking Xanax December 18th December 19th And I had my surgery January 8th because I didn't want to cross The Xanax with the fucking pain pills. I did my fucking work. There was no way I wasn't across my Xanax addiction with the pain pill addiction. That wasn't happening

What I started doing also was upping my fucking uh I said fuck this edible shit in the daytime. It ain't fucking working So I'll start doing them at night. That's when I was drinking those teas. I got hooked on those teas With the 900 fucking milligram. I did this correctly for the tea guys Uncle joey's always thinking if you're fucking hooked on something. I'll get you off. It's gonna be rough I always told you motherfuckers That with those abx things you could get off any fucking opiate I told you motherfuckers this and I proved it to you. I proved it to myself with it

So I started in taking larger amounts I mean I I passed fucking abx. I was probably doing 1600 milligrams. I was doing the whole fucking syringe And a couple fucking addables I was putting melatonin in that motherfucker This was michael jackson tea to the motherfucking hilt But this is what I had to do to get off the and I didn't I didn't want to get a stroke I didn't even need the Xanax no more I didn't want to get a stroke and I kept popping a quarter a quarter a quarter And I said, let's see when I think I saved like five of them

Just in case I pussied out I didn't eat one of those things till I got back from the surgery I needed one one day before fucking PT but that was the only Xanax I had that crossed with the fucking pain pills And I did the same thing with the fucking pain pills Once the pain pills I started cutting them down I fucking zipped up the edible intake And fucking that's how I passed out at night. You just fucking go down. You don't even remember the Xanax

You don't remember the pain pills the oxys. You don't remember shit And that was my recipe to get me off all that shit But I still had a little residue In me from the fucking Xanax addiction and I'm gonna tell you something. I didn't even I had no idea Till I started talking to my girl over at better help That's when we started talking she goes what else has been going on in your life. Why Why don't you want to do stand up and all this shit and this is my main When I called better help it wasn't for drugs. It wasn't for

Edibles it wasn't for weed. It was none of that stuff It was just to help me comprehend what I was going through. I didn't know what I was going through. I didn't know if it was The fucking the move I didn't know if I was unhappy with my new surroundings I had no fucking idea what was going on. I wanted somebody to push me in the right direction and from talking to her After about three weeks. I was like, okay. I have to accept all these new changes in my life There was a thousand new fucking changes From where I eat Chinese to where I go to the gym to how I shit to how I fucking pee You know what floor I go on, you know, I used to shit with an open bathroom

Now I shit with a bathroom with no windows big difference I got anxiety in the bathroom with no fucking windows. So I had to switch upstairs to shit upstairs You know, these are all little things I had to go through And now 11 months later. Do I feel fucking comfortable in my own skin? Yes, I do. Do I feel comfortable in my home? Yes, I do. Do I feel comfortable in my new life? Yes, I do. Am I Happy about not doing stand up. I am I was thinking about it this weekend on saturday morning When I woke up saturday, I came out my daughter was watching tv downstairs

I usually I changed my whole life around like one of the things I definitely had to do was stop getting coffee And jump around the computer It was fucking ruining my day And I had no idea just getting a cup of coffee and sitting in front of the fucking computer is no bueno for you I was getting so what I started doing was getting a cup of coffee and going outside Rain, snow, shine, sleet. I'm out there. If it's 10 degrees, I'm out there I don't smoke weed in the morning. I go out there with a cup of coffee and I just focus on the trees And I focus on breathing and that's where I come up with the five things I'm grateful for today

Some days it's the sun Some days it's the trees some days. It's the little red bird. I see in the fucking tree. I'm always grateful for something it's Ever since Ari told me to do that that's helped a ton Realizing what you're grateful for every day and every day you're grateful for something different Some days you're grateful that you have a big dick some some days you're grateful. Thank god. I got a little dick I would have slammed my dick in the fucking door if I would have had an eight inch dick, you know

You got to be grateful for the little things. It's not your bank account. It's not your car. It's not a piece of ass It's your surroundings Jesus, it's a beautiful fucking day to be, you know, I can't say that enough to you motherfuckers because I want you to know how many people I hear call me and go today was a bad day. Listen When you really think about it It isn't really a bad day unless you get hit by a fucking car and fly 80 feet in the fucking air Think about how bad of a day did you have your newspaper didn't come? You know, my friend told me the other day they sent me the wrong refrigerator. That's not a bad day

You got the fucking refrigerator. You know what I'm saying? I mean we have to start defining what a bad day is And a great day is this is the same shit. I was doing we're all fucking doing this shit How bad of a fucking day was it bad enough for you to fucking go have 50 fucking drinks? Come on Give me a fucking breather. Was it that bad? No You just had a hiccup in your day. We're all pre-programmed to have these beautiful fucking days They're not gonna all be beautiful You know how many times I get up in the middle of the night and stub my fucking toe And the wood goes in between your fucking toe the fungi toenail. That's pain

And even then I don't fucking cry about it. I just go. Oh, fuck it. It could have been worse I could have been walking down the street and the safe could have hit me in the fucking head, you know It's there's always something that's worse You know for you to fucking lose your mind. Hey listen, I'm from the same fucking school of thought, you know I've had bad days and good days, but lately I've had a lot better Good days than bad days and it took me 58 fucking years to realize this shit that Your good days are every fucking day. Who gives a fuck?

So this guy was late. Who cares? It's not enough to ruin your fucking day Ruin your day is finding your mother on the floor dead with her arm purple That's a that's a day ruiner right there. You know what I'm saying? Fucking somebody's shit in your mouth That's a fuck somebody's sitting you down and shit in your mouth. That's a fucking bad day right there But you know That the oven came the other day. I was like my oven fucking blew up about two weeks ago My wife was cooking enchiladas and the oven went down

So, you know right away. You're like an oven. We're gonna fucking be hit there We're gonna have to rub sticks together and fucking an oven. You can't order a fucking oven My wife found a place that had ovens In stock. She goes for starters. Show me what's in fucking stock All right, so we were panicking on friday the oven was coming the oven's coming. We can't do nothing. I'm like, oh, whoa You got the world by the fucking balls. You can do whatever the fuck you want the oven's not coming The oven with they gave us the window from two to six. Who the that's four fucking hours We got to sit here like a bumpy. I go go run some errands. I'll sit here and we'll switch

You know, then we my wife had plans. She's like the oven's not gonna come to you know, because Whenever you're waiting for a package that always comes in that last fucking window They tell you 10 to 2 you're gonna get a 10 to fucking 2 you're gonna get a 10 minutes to 2 It's not 10 to 2 they tell you 10 to 2 They're like the package will be there from 10 to 2. No one it's gonna be here at 10 to 2 That's what you're fucking trying to tell me So we waited. We're like, what if this fucking oven? Comes at 6 o'clock. Well

Then you fucked my wife is fucked. We got a call the oven came at fucking 4 o'clock. It took half hour My wife and I I'm like, it's not gonna ruin your day. I was just gonna ruin your day It's just a bump in it. You had the morning to do what you had to do You have the afternoon to do what you got to do. We have to start recognizing what the fucking triggers are Was it that bad for you to get anxiety and these are all the things that this therapist helped me with These are all the little fucking things. She didn't come in over all my life Well, tell me I couldn't eat corn anymore. You know these people you can't eat meat You got what the fuck are you talking about?

Everything was beautiful in my life. I just had a little fucking hiccup and I had to push through and Contacting somebody and talking to somebody. I gotta be honest with you Was the best thing I've done in years I feel a lot better. I feel lighter Uh, the medication they put me on seems to be working. I'm not losing my fucking mind I don't feel like killing myself. I haven't even had a negative fucking thought. In fact, I'm addressing Negative thoughts better. I recognize them when they pop up. I know how to fucking deal with them And these are all the tools they just give you coping skills. You know, it has such a fucking stick stigma

Therapy it has such a bad stigma to it Even towards me. I had a bad fucking Stigma, but after a few weeks, I used to get anxiety waiting to get on the phone with her Like waiting to fucking get on the phone with her. I would get like a little bit of anxiety and then I told the ones I told the right. I go, you know, I get anxiety before I talk to you. She goes do this this this this she told me what to do Now I look forward to fucking seeing her. You know, I was getting The only thing I'm having I'm still having a little problem with It's the social anxiety. I'm still having my problems at that

The numbers are going back up now the fucking Delta variant the Chinese variant the Cuban variant They're gonna listen. They don't want this fucking thing to go away. So, you know, they want everybody to get vaccinated They don't want this thing to go away I still have Little issues socially, you know, like I'm looking forward To go to guns and roses on the 11th and 12th of september. You know, I don't care how many people are there If somebody has tickets for the fit that met life I'm not saying I'm not gonna go but I'll consider going. I think we have plans that day already, but I would consider going

uh Stand up I'll tell you what guys I was a little burnt up on stand up. I was burnt What I did was I recognized about the stand up what was getting to me And uh I've been doing a lot of fucking writing

the last Five months. I've been doing a lot of writing Between notes for the book for Erica, you know looking into my life I've been doing a lot of fucking writing and One thing I've noticed in the journaling one thing that's kept me alive has been the journaling and making new discoveries about myself You know and one thing about the stand up is I wrote out all the things that bothered me about stand up. What was going on, you know

And I think the thing that bothered me the most was this Before 2012 2011 before I popped up on the board You gotta remember guys I had been a comic already for 13 14 years Was there any success Yes, I had my bright spots, you know, I had my bright spots as an actor I hadn't had any bright spots as a comedian. I felt that nobody really wanted me as a comic But I also felt that I wasn't given a hundred percent of what I could do

My comedy changed When I went from zingers To storytelling I became a better comic And I had more My mind was more involved in it. I'm not a good writer I'll be the first one to raise my hand And say I'm not a great comedy writer. Anthony Jeselnick, Rogan Bill Burr, Bill Burr's mind for comedy is brilliant. Uh

As a couple comics John Mulaney, I'm a fan of their writing I've never been a fan of my writing. I am who I am and I'm I'm proud that I have my own style But there were things that Stand up weren't agreeing with me. I think the number one thing that was bothering me was Waking up in a hotel room on a Saturday morning. I didn't really dig that no more. I didn't dig the You know, I like fucking eating breakfast out. I fucking love that. I love going to a different town and Eating their restaurant, you know, like their local restaurants, not a chain, but like family restaurants

I loved all that shit, but I hated waking up in a hotel on Saturday mornings I hated that whole fucking day, you know Then I started doing theaters and it made me it forced me to travel on Saturdays Which was interesting at first But after a while it burned you out a lot more taking those if you got to take a plane on thursday Saturday and sunday you're fucking burnt by the time you get back on sunday Your back feels like because you've been sitting for three fucking days. You flew there You know, you either drove to the gig like when we did new york

We had to get up the next morning at 10 And be on a fucking four hour train to boston But at the time I got to boston my back was fucking wrecked, you know, it was just fucked and wrecked So all those things I didn't like I didn't like I don't want to do saturdays no more So if I do comedy I got to do it differently. I didn't like saturdays anymore I don't think I could do a late fucking show on a friday and saturday no more than a ten o'clock show That's dead. So if I get back into comedy, it would have to be during the week thing An early show, you know two shows during a week tuesday and wednesday

Um It's not my life anymore It would be a hobby It would be a hobby I would start off strong with it, you know, just to get my material back my half hour my 45 minutes Which I have been making notes by the way. Have you know anything about me? I have not lost my sense of humor, you know, and I have not lost my Saying shit, you know

You know like little fucking dirty things to myself and writing them down I'm still one of those dudes. I'm making notes. I I looked at my comedy the other day I probably got 22 minutes of material once I write it all out, but I'm not in the mood to fucking go out there yet when I'm in the mood and I'm ready You'll be the first to fucking know but that's this was all little things That were contributing to my anxiety and I had no fucking idea Till I spoke to somebody so what am I telling you today on a monday morning that listen guys

We all have fucking little quirks going on with us and now more than ever with this pandemic You know We forgot how to act we're not acting right right now a lot of people are acting fucking crazy planes You read about it. You hear about it. I heard about a fist fight at a fucking nice restaurant the other day A friend of mine told me was at a restaurant the fucking a lady got up and smacked the waitress right here Fucking northern new jersey a friend of mine was that in hobo? I mean, it's just It's just crazy the things you hear and we're all going through our different things and it's gonna get worse You know the rent fucking things are coming to an end

All these things, you know a lot of people having a hard time. Listen, man. I I'm the type of guy that I dealt with shit all my life and moved slowly this pandemic Fucked me up a little bit. I mean, I've gone through The mill I've gone through it with my mother. I divorced the addiction. You know, I lived in a rocket ship I mean, I've fucking been through hell and back But this pandemic fucked me up a little bit

It showed us things that we didn't need to see It showed a lot of us things That we didn't need to see I became an only child again You know, I was raised an only child and then somewhere throughout life I've forgotten all about that this pandemic reminded me. I was an only child It got me back to talking to myself and thinking to myself But in a good way it got me to open up my eyes a lot of people have opened up their eyes How many people are not going back to their fucking jobs?

How many people are just saying fucking i'm switching careers? You know in a way, this is what happened to me also I just switched careers. I like podcasting I still like acting but to stand up just The whole thing wasn't rubbing me the right way. I needed this break. There's nothing Wrong with taking a break. There's nothing wrong. We're coming out of the fucking closet Nothing wrong with coming out of the closet and that's what I did. I came out of the closet Not as a gay man

I'm identifying as a man that doesn't want to do comedy no more I don't want you motherfuckers to think that you always just said he came out of the closet. No I'm not in that closet at all. I would I would love to be gay. I can't you know what I'm saying I would love to hold the man's hand and look him in the eye and say suck my dick But I still haven't come up with the heart to do that. So for right now. I'm not coming out of the gay closet I'm just coming out of the closet that I was unhappy. I was unhappy about a lot of things And I didn't fucking know him and I'm happy I made the fucking adjustments, you know So what I'm trying to say is I'm happy. I started talking to somebody if you're going through something

listen, man, and I've looked they have Adjustable prices for your income You know, like you write down what you make a year and no work with here I'm sure if you tell these people you're on unemployment They have a special unemployment rate for you, you know $12 or whatever the fuck it is this ain't gonna put you out But it's not worth going through life twisted

For you not to spend 25 bucks to talk to somebody for a half hour. I mean my meetings are only a half hour That's it. I can't I can't talk to somebody longer than that a half hour and that's fucking it, you know We got everything covered in a half hour. I usually jump on the phone with a monday's You know, like this week is 9 30 in the morning on monday. I'll be out the phone with about 10 o'clock And I enjoy the conversation. I write down my notes She gives me a little homework now when I talk to a monday the homework will be ready And I feel a lot happier, you know a couple people my friend Derek a couple guys have said That my snap is coming back on the podcast and I gotta be honest with you. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling uh

I'm feeling the change coming off me. So I want to thank you guys If I have in my back during this whole time You just could have turned your back on me and a lot of years didn't a lot of years Knew I was a wounded fucking deer and you said, where's this motherfucker gonna take it? You saw me go through my changes myself. I didn't fucking just Sit here and wait this on me. I did the work, you know, I knew I had to quit rifa. I quit the rifa. I Restructured my edible fucking game You know, I came out with a new bag of fucking weed which and you know, I did different things and then ft

You know, I'm writing this fucking book, you know with Erica This is you know writing a book is fucking rough It's rough to drag yourself through the mud, but I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Maybe that's part of the anxiety I don't care. I'm doing it. You know, I was having a hard time Going through guitar lessons some weeks Like that's how I my anxiety was now we talk all the fucking time I play every night. I mean Don't let this shit weigh you down

And you know If you're not right like I knew I wasn't right. I knew Since I started the podcast with Mike. I knew that A piece of me was missing and I just had a You know work through it, you know, I wish This times I'm like fuck. I didn't I wish I didn't do the podcast in october november and december But I needed it to get back to where the fuck I was going and little by little I'll get all my fucking tools back and to be honest. See i'm at 95 percent now

I feel that much fucking better and it was the Work in a fucking program. That was it. I didn't do nothing spectacular. I didn't go to any fucking rehab. I didn't hire a fucking What do you call those a sober buddy? You know, I didn't do none of that shit I didn't want to go through any of that shit. I did it all myself. I got myself in this mess I'll get myself out of this fucking mess, you know, I sent Byron a couple bucks. He didn't want none He wanted fucking T-shirts and shit. So he wanted to make a trade. So when I called him and he put me on the plan for the fucking

For this annex it was the best thing in the world because he Made me jump all you know He told me some shit too that kept me from jumping off the ledge that I had no fucking idea, you know, so I'm happy this all worked out how it did. I'm happy. I fucking I started the podcast again. I'm happy that I'm here fucking talking to you motherfuckers twice a week And I'm just happy. I'm happy and I want you motherfuckers to be happy And like I said, if I got caught up in the fucking xanax and if I'm aware of a lot of this stuff I can't imagine

What some people did that aren't aware how fast Things go from a to fucking z. I'm just happy that I didn't get into alcohol or coke or any of that shit And that this was a fucking easier transition That's it motherfuckers. It's monday It's gonna be a fucking great week. I don't know if uh, I'm gonna look on fucking wednesday for you cocksuckers This afternoon they're about to tan me fucking open again on this side here. I'm dreading it But what am I gonna do? I need disinfection to go away so I could be happy. I think this is affecting my heart and uh

It needs to be fucking done. I'm scared But I'll go out of respect for you guys. You know what I'm saying? You just can't talk to talk You got to walk to mother fucking walk. So That's it. And that's that I'll be back wednesday with you motherfuckers On the joint for another tip top magoo session Today was a little fucking weird. I wanted to talk to you about this and get this out of the way Because I've seen the amount of people that have reached out

With their problem one guy on patreon says he's been sober for nine fucking months that I helped him And he had a baby. So you know things like that fucking always get my dick hard That somebody actually got sober, you know, we talked a couple times I talked to a couple guys on patreon that were having a hard time. I'm happy they used the deer abby thing and we got it all out of the way But that's it and that's that you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed yourselves on monday I'll be back wednesday. Thank you for fucking going to the ice cream shop and purchasing laughing gas It's good fucking weed somebody asked me to give it a review the other day I'm gonna be as honest. I can with you. You know what the review is

It's good fucking shit. I'm really happy with it I would love to come on here and break it down for you guys. Well the th it listen It's good shit I've been telling you guys for years That I smoke great shit and I can't believe the ice cream shop and ziki put this fucking strain together. It's tremendous I love it. I love what it does. I love how it works And i'm fucking proud of ziki. I'm proud of joe And i'm proud of the ice cream shop and what we're going through this together

But it couldn't go possible without you guys and you guys believing in fucking my weed uh Proudness, you know, you guys know when it comes to reefer I ain't fucking around. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great week and now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors jack All right, you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. I don't know what the fuck I was talking about Maybe you guys will figure it out. It's monday. That's what happens when you get too fucking stoned that night But I love you guys and that's all that matters that I check them a year every monday and wednesday So you know that life is tip-top magoo The joint is brought to you by magnesium breakthrough

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Relief band dot com and I want to thank Magnesian breakthrough or better yet mag breakthrough dot com Slash joey. I want to thank both companies. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for having my back Listening and supporting the joint patreon anything else I might be doing I love you guys. Have a great week. Enjoy your monday stay black and we'll be back wednesday rocking Tip top magoo. There's still some reefer left over at the ice cream shop. There's still some Laughing gas sign up at laughing gas dot com

All the weed stores that it's getting sold that is going to be up on the instagram page I love you guys. Have a great monday. Have a great week. Stay black And we'll be back wednesday There you go cocksuckers go wash your pussy. I love you You You You