Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #087 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, August 9th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & Better Help..... Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/diaz for 10% OFF YOUR 1st MONTH! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

what's happening you bad motherfuckers greetings from podcastville it's monday august tonight from the heart of new jersey the joint is brought to you by draft kings listen everyone's favorite time of the year is right around the fucking corner football season and college football season draft king sportsbook americas top rating sportsbook app is here to celebrate we're jumping up and down draft kings is putting new players on the first yard line with 200 and free bets instantly just bet a dollar on any college football game take advantage of this limited time off for now draft kings is giving all new players 200 and free bets instantly when you place a dollar bet on heli any college football game 200 and free bets is yours no matter what happens during the

game download the draft king sportsbook app today right now monday use promo code joey and receive 200 and free bets when you place a bet on any college football game that's promo code joey to get you 200 and free bets instantly for a limited time only i hope you guys went to draft kings last week for louis gains and bet and got 100 hours on a dollar bet i know a lot of years did so hopefully you're jumping on this college football fucking deal right now only at draft king sportsbook new customers only must be 21 or older new jersey indiana pennsylvania only see draft kings dot com slash sportsbook for details now if you got a gambling problem you got to call 1 800 gambler if you're in indiana you call you got to call 1809 with it but if you're straight download the draft

king sportsbook app today and win some motherfucking geetus the winter's coming and you want to be prepared draft kings dot com sportsbook app not the fantasy app the sportsbook app enter code joey and turn a dollar into 200 the joint is also brought to you by better help you like joey which better help better help is who i use for therapy better help is therapy for the 21st century this is not a crisis hotline this is not a self-help better help is a professional therapy all online you schedule your weekly video or phone sessions sessions at your convenience you don't have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room or lie in a fucking couch they'll access all your needs match you with a licensed therapist who is right for you and finding a good match is important

it's their number one priority and if you ask me it's the most important part of therapy you need someone you feel like you could talk to so do me a favor right now go to better help to have an offer for uncle joey's joint listeners visit betterhelp.com slash ds for 10 off your first month that's betterhelp.com slash ds for 10 off your first month better help b e t t e r help h e l p dot com slash ds for 10 off your first month get better help and start living a happier life today as you guys notice it's working for your uncle joey and also i want to thank you guys that have gone over to the ice cream shop to get some fucking laughing gas tremendous i smoked at one of the nights this week i fucking was drooling from everywhere

my nose was even dripping but anyway go to laughing gas in studio city and get your batch of motherfucking laughing gas here you go cock suckers the joint is coming at you on a monday morning tip top motherfucking magoo check one two welcome to uncle joey's joint so what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday welcome to the joint it's Monday August the ninth my fucking cousin's birthday I gotta give him a call I never talked to my cousin I only talked to him on his fucking birthday I

call him he lives in Miami we grew up together I don't know what's his problem he doesn't say much but he doesn't say shit I don't hear from him all fucking year and today I call him he picks up on the second ring how you doing it's been a great weekend everything was beautiful I'm feeling a lot better you could tell I got a little bit more fucking nipped to my bite the only thing that's left is my fucking rash all of a sudden my rat I haven't had this rash for ten fucking years a little spot and also that blew up under my armpit it must be the fucking heat I went to the doctor we went over my blood test there's nothing wrong with

me I got the fucking Millie Mickey Mantle Jean like Bert Kreischer it don't look like I'm gonna die it was just it's just a fucking you know between the knee the fucking gums I gotta go back to the dentist today we're getting older but we're getting wiser and we're getting stronger I saw this weekend that Rogan was getting shit on on Twitter because of something he said on the podcast last week yeah and I gotta tell you the truth I agree with the guy what are you saying listen I only got vaccinated because one it was one shot I just wanted to do it because I knew that this was gonna happen I knew that

they were gonna start playing that you got to get vaccinated scene I'm not like Jennifer Aniston I didn't stop talking to friends who didn't you know what the fuck is that I stopped talking to certain people because they didn't get vaccinated no in fact the guy I hang out with the toughest hasn't gotten vaccinated because he got COVID already and he won't get vaccinated but now listen he works in New York City so now he's in a fucking dilemma what do you fucking do that's the reason I got vaccinated I'm usually an anti-vac I don't get the flu shot I don't like fucking needles but I had a funny feel and

I knew what this was gonna go and like I said I didn't do the fucking whole process I just did the one Johnson and Johnson I gotta be honest with you I don't even know what was in that fucking thing because I got a headache for two days I didn't get no sniffles I didn't get no diarrhea I didn't fart I didn't get sick I didn't cough I didn't get a temperature so between you and I I don't even know what the fuck was in there if you guys think I believe the fucking hype I don't I believe this hype though this hype what do you do now you can't perform in New York you know all comics are mad and listen I agree with them

this is something that we've never fucking experienced before but welcome to the new fucking world you wanted it you got it bitch you guys wanted the zombie apocalypse and the walking dead well here we have it fucking you know you got the walking fucking dead and I don't know what the fuck to do I'm just doing I'm just minding my fucking business that's you know Rogan said something in that little speech that I've been saying for fucking for a year and I didn't just say it I did something Rogan said that throughout this pandemic they've been pushing all this shit on you but nobody nobody said to you to get healthy

nobody said to get in shape nobody told you to get look at your life and see what you were doing wrong and what things you could change and you know nobody told you that nobody figured that out I figured out I ended up losing 40 fucking pounds I ended up switching my fucking reefer schedule around I slow down on the fucking drugs I slowed down the fucking edibles I sleep better I drink water all fucking day I walk a minimum of four fucking points on weight watches a day on top of my workout I looked at things to make me stronger and to make me healthier at this fucking age I'm at that age where you know the

reason why I didn't smoke pot all those months because I didn't want to fucking get sick that's one of the prerequisites is smoking it they'll fuck with your fucking COVID and everything else so I didn't now I'm smoking again I'm happy everything's fucking tip-top Magoo and I'm ready to fucking move on I don't have anything on my agenda I'm gonna go away at the end of the month or maybe the beginning of September to fucking shoot a TV show I just negotiated everything everything is tip-top Magoo and we're ready to go but besides that I'm minding my fucking business I ain't not doing dick people like you you

walked out of guns and roses I didn't go to guns and roses the reason why I didn't go was because there were 60,000 people breathing jumping up and down I could go see them in September with 17,000 people and who knows who knows what my fate is but me I like to play the fucking percentages I'm a man of many fucking percentages you understand me remember five points become something after a fucking year or two so don't ever give up on fucking percentages what I want to talk to you cock suckers about this week is what happened to me this week I had an interesting fucking week for starters

Tuesday what is it was the 42nd anniversary debt anniversary of one of my best friends of all time I woke up August 3rd and I knew something was off and I'm like I wonder what the fuck is I know that you know cuz I always have a date for everything you guys know I have a date for everything August 3rd was the day that my friend Dominic speciale drowned August 4th was 40 something years since I saw Ted Nugent and Bond Scott at the garden they even talked about it on Ozzie's Boneyard on Wednesday I'm like holy shit I was there so every date has something August 9th is my cousin's birthday every date has a

certain fucking meaning to me so Tuesday was Dominic's debt anniversary he died in 80 so it was really 41 years it's been 42 years since I taught Ted and fucking Bond Scott at the garden that was a complete different story and then I saw him August 1st AC DC with Brian Johnson at the Palladium with Def Leppard so listen I'm a man of many fucking dates I'm a man of many dates I'm a man of many percentages I'm a man of many fucking whatever's a lot of mistakes but Tuesday was the anniversary I remembered I called her brother her sister his sister and I said I was thinking about Dominic we spoke for a couple minutes and then

Wednesday I got a call from a girl that was here Sunday she came down to visit me Sunday I had some company on Sunday and she was one of the people that came over her name was Lisa we went to grammar school together and she was going to see another friend of mine from grammar school and she stopped over here first I gave her a little bud we talked some shit she brought her dog we had a great time but she said to me that Wednesday she called out of the blue and said that our friend Louis the called me and called her and wanted to get my number and talked to me Louis is a kid that moved to North

Bergen when I got left back in the 7th grade that first year when I got left back he moved to North Bergen we became tight and you know we were friends throughout high school and then we we all went our different ways and I saw him again in 93 when I was delivering sandwiches for hash brown Kennedy Boulevard and he pulled over and we spoke a little bit and I you know I was just trying to keep it together and we spoke but we haven't spoken since August or September of 93 when Lisa called me Wednesday she didn't call me just for the Louis thing she called me to tell me that one of the guys I grew up with that's my

age he's a lot older than me but I used to do little side jobs for him he used to get me inside jobs if you know what I mean to look at the safe and to look at the security in a warehouse so he would get me a job there for two weeks he knew people was always an inside job and I tell him exactly where the doors were where the cameras were whatever you know I would just break the place down from but I was dear friends with him I was a lot younger than he was and she called me to say that her daughter had died she's 38 years old she died a fucking pneumonia COVID and a cardiac arrest you know and I didn't I hadn't spoke I

hadn't seen her in 30 years if you want me to lie to you know I saw when she was little girl with him you know with the dad and you know it's not like I was tight with her anything but she knew how much I cared about the dad so she was telling me that you know when we hung up the phone I was like fucking life is crazy you know 38 year old girl she just got fucking married she went to some fucking parade caught COVID and the rest was fucking history but Thursday morning really think about I just said a prayer for that's all you

could do when somebody fucking punched at the ticket and say a prayer for them and move the fuck on I mean what can you do you know I'm used to it but then the next day I went to pick mercy up at camp we got home and I went out in the balcony for a while and the phone rang and it was Louie Lisa had given Louie my number Lewis you know he's not Louie no more he's fucking 58 years old and he called and we it was a great conversation like I told you guys a couple months ago that so far to all the people I've

connected with the people that I've I've really hit home with or the people that I went to grandma school with for some reason or another there's like seven of them and we're tight and fuck and we talk you know all the time and now people are starting more people because they found out that you know me and Ralph Carey talk me and Dave Ruiz talk me and Lucio talk we all talk Chuckie McBreen so all of us went to McKinley we were all we've all been tight since the seventh grade why the seventh grade

because Uncle Joey was a fucking moron and got left back in the seventh grade and it was weird because when I first went to McKinley I went I signed up for the sixth grade I got thrown out of fucking the Sacred Heart for attacking Sister Hycint and then my mother made me go to public school yeah it's behind me here Sister Hycint and then my mother made me go to public school so I wasn't sure what I was gonna do I didn't know if I was gonna go to school in New York Union City and I finally decided fucking I don't want no drama I don't want to

drive in the morning I'll just go to fucking school in North Bergen no big fucking deal so I went to McKinley and I gotta tell you something I had a great time in the sixth grade I had a great time I had Mr. LaVito as a teacher he used to tell me that if I wanted to talk during class that if I didn't talk he would let me go up in the front of the classroom on Monday on Friday afternoons and sing so I would wear like a nice shirt and sing like Frankie Valley songs fucking sherry and

my eyes adored you don't don't don't repeat that to nobody is between us I was a little geeky of a fuck I thought I was a crooner I would sing in close to the girls and they would tell me to go away and shit it was you know whatever the fuck I was doing wasn't working so the seventh grade at McKinley the first time I did it I got left back because I fell in love with a girl and we were dry humping you know you know the fucking deal and I got all retarded and shit I went to summer school and I played hooky from summer school

and I failed summer school so I got left back but before I got left back I gotta be honest with you guys the kids I was running with that were I think they were a little older than I was half of them were like six months because my birthdays in February I don't know what the fuck was going on but a lot of them were older than me a lot of the kids were a little wilder than me I didn't really fit with that group of kids and I still remember going from the sixth to the

seventh grade thinking of myself I don't really fit with these kids like I like North Bergen then but it wasn't my fucking favorite and then I met Anthony Balzano to be honest with you I was Jimmy Balzano's age Anthony was a year younger than me but Anthony hung out with Dominic and hung out with just so many fucking cool kids Sabatino they all hung out together I just hang out with like Hal and all these older kids and it wasn't just getting anywhere we were just

it was more of a motorcycle relationship we all had motorcycles once I fell off the motorcycle and got the concussion and stopped riding motorcycles we kind of lost who the fuck we were you know even John Bender all those guys they were a year older than me I got along with them but my heart was really with Anthony and those younger guys so when I got left back it was like a fucking it was like a sign from God you know I was upset that I got left back I felt like a fucking moron

you know to get left back you have to be a fucking moron so there was nothing I could do I thought Carmine was going to be able to fix it for me at the border bed but that wasn't going to happen you can't fucking fuck around with school records so I took the seventh grade like a man I shut my mouth and that was the first time I said I have to rehaul my life and in the seventh grade was where I was smart enough to go you know what I got to stop doing what I'm doing I got to pay attention to my grades and

I got to rehaul my life and I remember I dove into karate and I dove into fucking basketball I didn't care about girls anymore you know I didn't care about sucking tits behind the church all I want to do is whack off and be left to fuck alone I got heartbroken in the seventh grade I ended up getting left back over it fuck it I'm not doing this ever fucking again I'll be a monk I don't give a fuck in the seventh grade when I got left back I was never going to get late again if it meant being hurt I was never going to

suck titties again I was never going to date a girl again I wasn't going to switch governments I wasn't going to be gay but I wasn't going to fuck around with girls until I got my life to get and that's exactly what I did but in the meantime I was going to karate and I was playing basketball and I really my my first year in the seventh grade I was allowed to play basketball and we went on fucking seven or some shit and I just couldn't live with that I was like that that's it

these guys are graduating they're moving on it's basically our fucking team so when I got in the seventh grade our eighth grade basketball team was basically us there was a couple of eighth graders but not really it was basically us and two kids moved to the neighborhood one Puerto Rican kid his name was Raul he moved right across the street from me and while he was moving you know how you usually move you put stuff in and you go get more stuff while they were moving me and my pack of buddies Dominic rest his soul his brother Mike Sabz a bunch of us

broke into Raul's house and I stole his fucking stereo with his speakers I gave the speakers to Dominic I kept the stereo the stereo was a cassette eight track turntable combo not cool in those days but you had a settle for those because somebody cool would come over and go yeah you got a cool stereo but if the eight track breaks then your whole system's fucked up so you have to get like a fissure component and then get a cassette deck and get a turntable all separate and get a receiver you know that's what the fucking

professionals want to do I didn't listen to them I did it my fucking way I got tremendous fucking speakers that somebody stole off a train and sold them to me brand new and I hooked it up with the fucking turntable I stole from Raul but guess what Raul was a tremendous basketball player we became friends so Raul would come over to my house but I wouldn't let him up to my bedroom we would have to go into the basement so Raul would always say to me how come I never go to your bedroom to listen to albums ah I go my bedroom's fucking dirty nobody's allowed in there

for fucking a year Raul lived across the street he came over to my house every fucking day and I let never let him up in the bedroom all my other friends are gone go oh we're at Coco's house we listen to fucking albums all night and shit and he'd go how come you never invite me I'm like because you're never around that was a lie he lived right across the street from me he was always fucking around but the neighbor was hot Raul finally left there like in the eighth grade but Raul was a good basketball

player and we got another addition to the team and his name was Louis Louis had moved from Houston street in the village and he came to McKinley why I don't know he moved to North Bergen he lived on the 26th street side um his family had just had a loss and he was a great basketball player he could fucking jump he was a Dominican kid with a little afro and I remember we used to smoke pot like our whole relationship with these kids Dominic Anthony Louis Dave Chucky except for

Chucky Chucky never smoked pot but the worst thing we did as kids was we get high up in the woods and then we take Louis and we blow pot smoke into his afro and it would be dark out and if the moon was out you would look at the moon and all of a sudden you would see the smoke come out of Louis's afro we thought that was the coolest fucking thing in the world every time we got high with Louis that's what we do when he get high he'd always look at me and go anybody tell you you look like a mule because it had a really long face when

I was fucking 12 or 13 so he used to call me the mule every time he'd see me go mule mule mule so the other day when I talked to him I go you still call me the mule and he goes you remember that I go fuck I never forgot I used to look at myself in the mirror every day when I was 12 and go I don't look like a mule I look like a monkey so so fucking uh Louis was a great kid you know and he made a great addition to the basketball team I think our fucking our seventh grade we

weren't like three and four we didn't go we didn't have a winning season but it was a lot better than being 0 and 7 and we became tight we just all of us became so fucking tight it was pathetic McKinley rocked too we had a fucking rocking little class it was Louis Lisa Messina Orlando Salcedo we we were fucking hell on teachers hell I remember a seventh grade teacher quit and we had substitutes for like a month and all of them wouldn't come back we would

fucking put them through hell and when we got to the eighth grade we were fired the fuck up fired the fuck up in fact our first day in the eighth grade was the last day of seventh grade and I remember the teacher said before you guys even get settled I want to talk to you she's like listen you guys have a reputation for being fucking savages that shit ends now today I want you guys to go home for the summer and know that what you guys been doing in the school is not going to be accepted next

year I'm going to start suspending people the whole fucking thing and she was dead set against it let me tell you something we broke that fucking lady we broke her like in February we were so fucking tight we used to go to shop rent at lunchtime steal hubba bubba all of us would put a 10 pack of hubba bubba down our fucking pants and then we'd go to class chew the hubba bubba and whip it at each other in the afternoons until somebody fucking got hurt you know I mean

six seven pieces in your mouth at one time we would make huge spitballs our spitballs were so big we couldn't even use the straw we would just whip them I put like eight pieces of fucking paper in my mouth drink a little fucking water from that the cancer faucet and I put that fucking ball together and that whole dog she would be up on the blackboard and fucking paper would just be on the top of the blackboard you would see like six feet of fucking of war and it would just be covered

with huge spitballs and you'd see the drip of this saliva going down it it was fucking disgusting but we're professionals Orlando Salcedo Dave Colombo Bishop I mean we were fucking we had an Italian immigrant kid Michael Allegretta we used to whip him with the fucking hockey sticks and he'd go ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay he couldn't speak english I mean we had were fucking savages but in turn it made us titers fuck we were tight as fuck no coke no acid

no booze no nothing we were just pot smokers once a week on Saturday nights we were athletes first and pot smokers fucking second and that neighborhood was packed with kids when I tell you that my childhood before my mother died was fucking tremendous I even talked to Lisa about it after Louis called me I was like how many fucking kids were in that neighborhood we had five kids per every seven houses we counted in the other day we had seven to eight kids on each block so you have Liberty Avenue

Charles Court giving that terrace 38th street and 39th street that's fucking 35 of us that were tight from the fucking eighth grade that's the number I mean it was we would go out and like a fucking 16 17 of us we'd walk up the hill to Union City and there'd be 16 coming at you and we'd have a stack of girls walking behind us because we watched those girls and those days nobody was into fucking or sucking we watched those girls like they were our little fucking sister when I moved back to Jersey last August 19th after about six days we were bored we were

middle sex middle town whatever the fuck we were staying at corporate housing and I said to my wife do you want to take a ride to Northburg and she goes absolutely go we'll go eat say hello to some people and take a ride and that's exactly what we did and route three to come south is my old neighborhood you know you have to go down Liberty Avenue and you catch the three east or three west and that hooks you into the turnpike which hooks you into the parkway and I'll never forget I took my wife there

in 2016 we took Mercy to the same park I used to play at 38th Street Park and then we went to the cemetery this time I attacked it from the Chinese store on the top of 37th Street all the way down took them by the park took them the long way through 39th Street 38th Street showed them where I lived with the benders Jackie Garcia's house Kathy Moran's house just showed them all these places went on 38th Street showed them Carmine Balzano's house what they had already seen I took them through Charles Court and pointed out the houses and then I took

them I'm giving that terrace what they had seen before and my wife looked over at me and she goes I gotta be as honest I can with you this fucking neighborhood is dead and I told I said Terry after Dominic Speciale died in the summer of 80 August 3rd 1980 it sucked the energy out of this this neighborhood was done it was done after that we all went our separate ways and the neighborhood stayed there to fucking rot there's not a kid on the street I've driven by there at four o'clock

there's not a soul on that fucking park on 38th Street let me tell you something we were on 37th Street I'm sorry 37th Street Park 37th Street Park there would be when I was growing up there would be 40 kids on that fucking court there would be 20 kids on that park and the park even came with a MILF Faye the chick that I wanted to attack and fucking suck a titties and shit I still go visit her in Jackson she's like 70 now 80 Faye was the MILF on the block with the two french fucking poodles the park was complete

that neighborhood was a fucking great neighborhood to be a kid basically like the neighborhood I live in now for kids everybody had pool there was a thousand things to do if you wanted to break a window you could break a window if you wanted to steal down the trains you could steal down the trains if you wanted to torture the chinese guy at the fucking stick store you could torture him if you wanted to torture the guys that owned the stick store on third on uh Liberty Avenue you could torture them

I mean the fucking the neighborhood was a kid's paradise everybody you could knock on people's door everybody would say you want water drink it from the fucking faucet from the hose outside Carmine Balzano had a built-in pool you could always go over there and eat it was just a paradise but all that ended I tried to explain it to my wife and she was like I can't comprehend what you're saying because I never saw what it was when Louie called me Thursday night we were talking and he was like it was great to see you I saw you in the longest

yard but you know we got that out of the way and he dropped on me he goes you know I I think about our situation all the time he lives in Rutherford New Jersey and he said he was walking down the street and he saw a guy that resembled me and he thought about me and he thought about my mother and that's why he goes it was time to call you when when Lisa said that she was communicating with you I told Lisa that I want to talk to you but after seeing that and getting that memory and he said he goes when I see you

when I see you in a movie or whatever I think of your mom and I think of my brother because the reason why he left the village was because his brother died so the family wanted to get out of that house where they lived the apartment where they lived and they moved to North Bergen so when he came to North Bergen he was at my house all the time I mean I had a basketball court I had the above ground pool you know I love kids coming over to f***ing house not a lot of them but the the main ones I like Chuckie coming over I like

David Ruiz Lucio would come over Lucio's the f***ing commissioner in Union City and he had like a little bit of a big chin at the time and I'll never forget one time we were bench pressing in my backyard and he wasn't that strong and he went to grab the weights and the weights just came right down on this f***ing chin till this day's chin goes out a little bit we used to call him the chin after that but all of us were that f***ing tight so when I talked to Louis on on the phone the first thing he said you know after we went through the bullshit of you know after you don't talk to somebody for

nine years or whatever it's been about 20 f***ing years since we spoke he said to me he goes you know man I don't want to bring it up but he goes do you still think about your mom and I'm like all the f***ing time he goes do you still think about Anthony Barzano I go all the f***ing time you know he goes do you still think about Dominic I go how funny is it that it was his anniversary two days ago and he goes uh that's crazy because I've been thinking about you guys since like Monday we spoke Thursday

and we spoke for like 40 minutes it was a great conversation I cried I don't know if he cried you know I didn't make it obvious that I was crying I just felt the tears roaming down my face before we move on I want to talk to you guys about something I told you in the beginning of the show we got a new sponsor better help better help is who's who I've been working with when my friend when I was looking for a therapist a psychiatrist whatever I called a friend of mine and we were just talking I go I got to find the therapist or something

and she goes no no no no call contact go online and go to betterhelp.com sign up it's a monthly service they help you pick up therapist and they uh it's it's great I didn't know what to expect you know I had never seen a therapist or a psychiatrist one-on-one I didn't know what the f*** to expect but I'll tell you what I was blown the f*** away against my better judgment better help listen what's standing in the way of you achieving your goals figure it out with better help like I said I've been with better help

since May so May June July and now August I paid again they're a great system okay it's therapist better help is therapy for the 21st century it ain't a crisis line this ain't a 1-800 line this is not self-help better help is professional therapy online okay you could do this it's all remote it's flexible you could schedule your own things you could message your therapist during the week if there's a problem and it's affordable that's why I like it the most I'm not I wasn't gonna pay

you know they're telling you that all the therapists and psychiatrists and everybody's book solid all the good ones yeah they are but better help offer me a girl named Dana a woman named Dana who's worked with me from day one and I gotta be honest with you she's great this new joey Diaz you see is from her little talks with me it took me a couple weeks to get loose two or three weeks I'm not gonna lie to you I have never been familiarized with therapy before but this works it's inexpensive

it's cheap and they do a phenomenal job you booked it you booked the job right on the computer you booked the therapist right on the computer let me read it to you so we don't have any they asked us your needs and match you with a licensed therapist who is right for you finding a good match is their number one priority and if you ask me the most important part of therapy is that you need someone you feel like you can talk to Dana was that person for me

when you sign up you can start talking to a therapist and less than 48 hours there's no waiting around and they set and you can send messages to your therapist anytime they'll get back to you in between sessions if you want to switch therapists you can do so at any time for free better help makes it easy better help is 100 remote and available worldwide plus better help is more affordable than traditional therapy and financial aid is available okay trust me it helps to have someone outside your world to talk to I didn't know

and it's easy to schedule affordable and they'll take a load off your shoulders they took a load off my shoulders I feel a little better I look a lot better over a million people have taken charge of their mental health with better help and they offer a special discount for Uncle Joey's joint all right I'm going to give you 10% off your first month when you press in code Diaz so do me a favor visit betterhelp.com and put in Diaz for 10% off your first month that's better help help

H-E-L-P .com slash Diaz you know how to spell better B-E-T-T-E-R .com slash Diaz 10% off your first month betterhelp.com slash Diaz it's that easy listen it is no fucking shame or anything I'm not ashamed of getting help why would I be ashamed of getting help it's going to make me a better person it's going to help me achieve my goals it's going to help me be a better dad and I got to be honest here they've helped so go to betterhelp.com right now use Diaz and get 10% off your first month

you won't be fucking sorry you did it trust me what I'm telling you you're going to enjoy it they have great therapists I have two other friends that are doing betterhelp.com right now and they always get back to me and go my therapist is great one of my friends has a man one of my friends has a woman I have a woman she's phenomenal we usually talk on Monday mornings at 9 30 you could schedule whatever you want go to betterhelp.com right now slash Joey you will not be sorry I'm going to get your 10% off on your first month back to the Louis story so when Louis called the

other day we just talked about all the things we did as kids he still remembered us listening to Richard Pryor he still remembered us going to see Saturday Night Fever in Jersey City we all went down and like I told you it would be a crew of fucking 12 or 13 of us he remembers still going down to see the pink panta in Jersey City he remembered all these little things from my life but towards the middle of the conversation when he dropped

the biggest bomb on me that he could ever drop and I thought about my wife he goes you know we had a rough childhood that was a rough rough childhood because we had the world by the balls it was funny I was in the car Friday with Mercy I took out a kickboxing and I thought Studio 54 was on on you know on Sirius XM I thought I was listening to Studio 54 because they were playing like a disco type jam and also they switched to this other song Baby Come Back

fucking great song you know a love song came out in the 70s and I looked at to see what was on I go why would they play rock music on Studio 54 radio when I went to look I go oh shit it's 70s you know the 70s on 7 whatever the fuck it is it was some 70s show and I was like wow the fucking 70s had some great fucking music the 70s had some great moments for us the 70s were great as kids we all started hanging out like in 76 75 I moved to North Bergen in 73 so you know all these kids I had become friends

with like Anthony Bosnian all of them we all came to fruition I remember in 1976 we went on Boulevard East and we cut the fucking chain off a parking lot and we were charging like two bucks to fucking park to watch the celebration on Hudson River I mean we were we were little fucking gangsters but we didn't give a fuck we were hustlers we had a good time but the most important thing is that's where I learned to live for one another as a friend we all we needed like I said all you need is three friends you could take over

the world where I got that mentality from was what we were doing in the fucking 70s we were that fucking tight and we were having the best fucking summers and after the seventh grade that we went three and four and then we hung out the whole fucking summer going into the eighth grade I went to basketball camp in Jersey City I think David Ruiz came with me I went to booze basketball camp in violent New Jersey

Chucky came with me fucking Ralph I mean a bunch of us we would take over again when we went to that camp in the eighth grade we fucked them up too we put shampoo in one of the counselors fucking sneakers we stole his t-shirt I mean North Bergen repertory fucking zented anywhere we went when I went to Joe named the football camp I went with Chucky McBreen when I went to five-star I went with Greg Harrendon that you know I had Billy Harrendon the church of what's happening now

listen this why my Jimmy runs deep with these young fucking savages so it was funny the other day Louis said you know we were just talking and he goes you know how downtown ended was very sad and I go Jesus Christ we were in the eighth grade having a blast I mean it was just great the eighth grade was phenomenal because my stepdad had moved out of the house my mother hit him with a fucking saint on the head and he was bleeding everywhere he left

thank god I pushed him out of the fucking house it was my hand because I had I get my shit off in the eighth grade he was blocked he was cock blocking me not that we were getting pussy or nothing like that I just wanted to be a fucking wild man with my friends we were going to Jersey City we were going into the city and watching fucking three card Monty games we would smoke pot and go into the city and fucking just we would try to sneak into strip clubs like there'd be a guy out front that he'd go come on in get a drink

you know many times we went into strip clubs and we had chicks sitting on our fucking legs when we were in the eighth grade and they go all right well you're gonna buy me a bottle of champagne and in those days they had like a little bottle of champagne and this is all up along Broadway in New York City guys this was buck wild they'd sit on our laps and all of a sudden they go buy us champagne how much is the champagne 20 dollars a glass all of us would squeeze that tit one last fucking time then the bouncer would come and throw us out and we

leave there with our faces red we all had little hard-earns I don't know if you guys remember the story of when all of us fucking ordered a porno movies and it came with a projector three of like seven of us me Louie Michael special Sabatino was so young he started fucking crying when he saw the lady sucking the dick he's like what is that I'm scared he started crying we gotta walk him downstairs this is the kind of shit we were doing as kids we were in a real world and I was taking all my buddies up to my mother's bar

in the afternoon after basketball like we were hungry at Thursday I go fuck it all of us let's go to my mother's bar I would walk into my mother's bar 10 deep she'd go Jesus fucking Christ and we would sit at the bar and I make the bartender give us all a coke and we put a cherry in it make believe we were like gangsters like we'd be like look at us drinking out of fucking bar because we sit at a bar they would go back and tell everybody we were sitting up at the fucking bar with men my friends that wouldn't go to the bar with me would lose their fucking minds

but that all came to an end and let me tell you what Louie said to me that really fucked me up he said that what happened to us in the eighth ninth tenth grade defined who we are for the rest of our lives and he's absolutely right because one night in May at the beginning of May we had already finished season our eighth grade year was so fucking wild because as soon as we got into the eighth grade there was two women eighth grade teachers there was miss while she was our teacher and miss verga who was the other eighth grade teacher

the other savages started throwing spitballs at her and shitting she just quit she just quit on the first day of eighth grade she goes I'm too old for this I'm not going to do with these guys we already had a reputation she walked out of the class and they replaced her with the mayor of we hawk and his name was walley lindsay that's a complete different story we don't have that much time today to go into that one but that was also a fucking kick in the balls because he had an assistant named turk jordan and we'll get into that some

other time he took us to the nick game he showed up with a fucking passed out stripper one day with the tits out and he's like fuck her in the eighth grade we got tons of story about that he tried to cheer us up you know we had the coach that fucking called me a spick and then i ended up finger banging his sister and the father caught me so the word on the street was he was gonna kill me so we were like fuck it if he's gonna kill me we're gonna kill them that's how tight we were we were gonna kill the basketball coach

in the eighth grade stab him and put him on route three because at the time there's how crazy we were at the time and if you go if you live in jersey or in the new york city area brooklyn connecticut you want to go for a day trip you can check this fucking information after i'm telling you mckinley school is on route three all the way up north if you headed to new york city and you're on route three and you headed into the lincoln tunnel you're gonna pass mckinley on the left hand side it's next to this fucking

embroidery thing and then you have like shop right and then you get lost in union city you hit we hawking and you make that turn if you watch the sopranos when he gets off the toll the jersey in the beginning woke up this morning and he swings around that's we hawking making a hard fucking left into union city which takes you into fucking north bergen if you come in that way from new york city you'll see mckinley on the right hand side and the york motel on the left hand side the york motel is not called the york

anymore double check it online for me but i think it's not called the york but it could be the york motel was a dump a dump they were finding dead hookers in there once a fucking month when we were kids we would go to the lobby to get potato chips when we were mckinley and we'd always see disgusting people in there fucking guys with fucking rashes around their mouth we would see some nightmare shit in there it was it was a rat trap of a hotel but we were in the eighth grade the iceman the real iceman ritchie kuklinski i didn't notice

i did not notice in the eighth grade i found out years later he cut a guy in half and he put him under a bed well we were in the school when he did it like we saw the ambulances going over there we weren't allowed over there for three days at police tape so in our mind we were gonna kill fucking the gym we were gonna kill the basketball coach whatever georgey frank we were gonna kill him we waited for him with the lights off in the gym we had sticks we had crowbars we had a basketball we had a fucking neck to choke him oh yeah we were gonna hit him in the head

with a basketball we were kids we tried to get all the makeshift weapons we could and then we were gonna fucking drag him out to route three and put him across the street from the york motel and they would think it was the same guy who cut the guy in half we didn't know was the iceman at the time when i saw the interview with the iceman i'm like holy shit it was you cut the body in half we were in the eighth grade we still fucking remember but louis said that what we went through

all those years defined who we are and made us fucking stronger the three people who died the four people who died one of us had nothing to do with us but she had something to do with me we had a great eighth grade fucking year we went to philly we went to the nutcracker suite we went to what's that fucking lady's name who made the flag betsey ross we went to her house we went to her house got thrown out of there we got thrown out of the nutcracker suite because we were shooting the people in the play with paper clips

and rubber bands so they're trying to fucking do the nutcracker and they're going out out because we're fucking whipping them with the thing we got thrown out of the movie theater then they took us to hyrums up in fort lee and we got hot dogs and shit and fucking you who's and we were singing you know three cheers for the bus driver the bus driver the bus driver was busting his balls the whole fucking way but that all ended that all ended one night with me anthony dominic louis we were all playing basketball on

37th street court mrs balzano called for anthony said anthony dinner anthony turned around and said coax you coming over i go no my mom's home tonight i'm gonna fucking eat you know my mom's cooked something for good for me louis was there we all said our goodbyes louis went into the woods with the other guys from 26th street and they were cut through shop right i went home and i remember the next day i went to fucking the eighth grade and before i walked into the class mr barone took me aside and he goes did you hear what happened last night i go

no he goes anthony balzano got in a bad car accident with his brother and tweds this kid steven edwards that was older than us he goes he's in back he's in bad shape he's in critical condition that destroyed us that destroyed us we went to the hospital we hung out in front of the hospital solidarity went in and then on uh may 20 something they took him off the stuff and he died we never recovered from that we played it off we didn't really i just kept playing basketball and i kept going to his house and i was part of

their family now and we got tighter and then he passed away and that was it you know we were we were fucking mortified you know we were just blown the fuck away we were all there we saw him going to his house then we all went to high school we stayed tight we all me louie davry was whitey chucky we all played fucking freshman basketball we dedicated the season to anthony we didn't do much everybody loved anthony that whole team knew anthony we were we were always out and about it it hit hard

then freshman year i got a locker with this girl rose and de agustino d de agustino de as we had to get lockers with people in our home room and she turned me on to this girl she goes she doesn't like who she's sharing a locker with do you mind if she shares a locker with you and i go no and uh somewhere in our freshman year she went on a date got in a car with some guy and and they got into a car accident they both died you know but again it was very weird because i saw

that day in my locker put the books away at that time i started feeling a little fucking weird you know but in the eighth grade something else had happened i started dating this girl named colleen in union city she was one of my cheerleaders at st michael's and uh i'll never forget i went to a house to swap spit whatever dry hump i had no sexual intentions she was a cute little redhead with freckles irish chick i loved her to death i'll never forget sitting on a couch and going what times your dad get home and

she's like five o'clock i'm like what times your mom get home she goes my mom is not alive my mom is dead and i was like i was like fuck this and i freaked the fuck i had never heard of any mothers anybody's mother dying i'd never heard that before i was 13 years old i'd never heard that your mother could die i thought mothers were invincible and i remember that i went home and i go i'm not talking to that kiss at that no more fucking what did you do that your fucking mother died when you were like

five and fucking maybe a year later i did a hit of acid you know before i fucking left my mother called we spoke like nothing happened we spoke she says i don't feel good i'm coming home early you know i'll leave you something to eat i got home she wasn't home i woke up in the middle of night she was fucking dead i had spoken to her that afternoon and then a year fucking later you know after my mom's dying i'm not even fucking aware that my mom is dead yet i haven't even

processed it and i'm walking up giving that terrorist to go get clothes at my house and i see dominik speciale run out of his house and he i go dominik where you going he goes i'm going to the fucking i forget what you call it now the quarry there's a quarry in northern new jersey where they all go and he goes do you want to go i don't even know if he asked me that i don't want to say that i just remember him going i'm going to the quarry and me going all right see you tonight and that night somebody knocked on my door and said dominik had drowned at the

quarry but all four instances that i just told you i saw those people and i spoke to them and i got to see them a few hours before they're tragedy ensued you know and it was fucking surreal i don't think i ever recovered and it did define who the fuck i am because now when i see people before they leave i always tell them i love them so i'm covered i'm covered if anything happens i did my peace i always when i leave with people i always say i love you

these are the things i picked up over the years to strength you pick up i'll never forget somebody came up to me a dear friend of mine he goes hey man you know it's weird every time i talk to raffi i talked to him like it's the last time i'm gonna see him and he's a good friend of mine i remember i got mad at him for a few days for saying that and then i go you know what what the fuck am i talking about it's the truth he's right this could happen at any fucking time

so that's why when you see people and you're having a good time with them when you're gonna go leave them don't take that goodbye for granted always look at them one last time and go jesus christ i love you and that's it so if you do get that call you don't feel bad you know i don't know if i did that with anthony i don't know if i did that with my mother i don't know if i did that with dominic you know i don't know if i said those things but i know now i do and it's because of that time that we spent together when we were young

we're planning to have a little get together i might just call louis this week and take a ride up to rutherford my teacher is in town mr t the guy who fucking took me in in 85 and got me off the drugs and took me to a a meetings and helped me get to where i am today i'm gonna go visit him this week he's uh staying somewhere down the shore and uh i'm gonna go talk to him because again he's got to be close to his 80s and i want to make sure i cover my spread with this guy if something happens you're losing sarah

soda florida so that's why the other night when lisa called me and said that that girl that i had been friends with her father died i knew how to handle it yes i was a little upset and yes i said a prayer but i think that what happened to me as a child got me ready for ralphi you know fucking brody i couldn't be ready for because brody i got to call on a fucking plane when i was headed to las vegas to get on stage what do you do you cancel the

show you did no fucking cancel the show you got to dig deep and be fucking strong and that's what i did but all those strengths came from what i went through in that downtown area in mckinley school and i'm grateful to them and that's why i think that these are the guys right now that i'm getting i'm you know i'm fucking mixing with the best because our relationship was so strong in 1977 78 79 and 80 that it can't be take it it's like whenever i talk to these guys on the phone we go right

back to where the fuck we were it's like nothing has been no years have gone by it's like we were in the eighth grade yesterday so it's been the weirdest thing louis a social worker he's got a degree in psychiatry we spoke for a little while and i got to be honest with you i felt a lot better since i've spoken to him on thursday my anxiety has disappeared a lot lower it was like i i don't know i touched god's hand or something by talking to him it took me back that fucking that much you know

right now this year the last two years have been rough on us as americans as human beings as people you know with our friends our family we've all fucking gone through debt or whatever a friend you know like i said to you i i would love to sit here and tell you i love so many people in the pendant i don't know i don't know this is the first girl i remember that i i know and well tina patrilla the girl that used to shove bottles in a pussy and we were kids at the strip club

she died from covet last year my heart goes out to her family but i never really knew anybody that passed from covet or whatever a lot of people are passing and a lot of people going through grief right now i just want to let you know that we've all gone through grief from one way another you will survive and you will come on at the other end of this but the most important thing is there's a silver lining to all this so if somebody close to you and your family has passed from covet or whatever i know that right

now you want to reach through that fucking video and smack me in the face and go join my mother died from covet how is there a silver lining to this well listen you're not going to see it today you're going to see it sometime in the next couple of years how do i know because there's a silver lining to anything everything my mom passed all my friends passed i have all their pictures up around my desk dominik anthony my mother and any other one of my soldiers that have gone rago and i look at them every day for

strength that's what pushes me through every day when i wake up in the morning and i sit there and i go i have anxiety like a fag i i got to deal with this i got a knee i got a fucking my gums are swollen i look up and i see a picture rago or i see a picture of dominik or i see a picture anthony balzan and i go what the fuck am i complaining about it puts everything else into perspective so there's a silver lining to all this i know like i said i know you're looking at me going joy i don't know what the fuck you're talking about

i'm telling you right now there's a silver lining even the covet as bad as it's as it's been there's been a silver lining i got the best message in the world on patreon on saturday some guy signed up and i went to throw my welcome fucking email and he had already written me a fucking huge email saying that he didn't like me before the pandemic and that one day he listened to me that i stayed on after rogan or something our podcast went up and i said something and he goes

ever since that day he started listening to me and that he had a airbnb he had 14 properties and that all dried up and all this shit bad happened but he learned how to do something else during the pandemic and now he's blossoming again the whole thing so i know there's always a silver lining that's why when i got the call the other day about tommy's daughter i thought about why i was so prepared for that call because what i went through as a child prepared me for the rest of my life

to deal with what i have to deal with if you could deal with that at 16 if you could deal with three deaths including one being your mom the rest of this shit is background motherfucking music and that's the fucking joint for monday august the ninth i hope that this podcast gives you a little light it gives you a little hope in your life and it lets you know that you're gonna be fucking fine i want to thank betterhelp.com i want to thank draft kings for sponsoring this podcast today

and i want to let you know it's all gonna work out no matter what's going on whether you're vaccinated unvaccinated it's all gonna fucking work out just believe in yourself get healthy take your vitamins get vitamin d drink water smoke reefer get your dick sucked and stay mentally on top of this fucking game okay things might get bad they might get worse they might get good all i want you is for you to be mentally prepared and fucking solid so we're good august ninth is done this is my message for the day

i'll see you motherfuckers wednesday the 11th tip top magoo ready to fucking go and now for a word for my motherfucking sponsors love you thank you bad motherfuckers for watching the joint today i know i took you into a little deep water but i wanted to get that off my chest it's been on my mind for a while the joint is brought to you by betterhelp we told you in the beginning and the middle of the show betterhelp is therapy for the 21st century betterhelp is professional therapy and it's all online

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wednesday tip top magoo ready to fucking go ready to stab somebody i love you motherfuckers have a great monday have a great tuesday and i'll see you wednesday