Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #090 | ELEANOR KERRIGAN | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: August 18, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, August 18th..... Today we talked with our friend, ELEANOR KERRIGAN!!! Her New Comedy Album, LADY LIKE, comes out FRIDAY, 8/20/21, EVERYWHERE! Follow ELEANOR on social media! https://www.Instagram.com/ejkerrigan https://www.Twitter.com/ejkerrigan This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew, CBD Lion & Upstart..... Go to https://www.BlueChew.com Promo Code: JOEY | First Month Free! Go to https://www.Upstart.com/JOEY Go to https://www.cbdlion.com/JOEY Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #EleanorKerrigan #LadyLike The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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It's a beautiful fucking day Tomorrow I'll be in New Jersey for a fucking year. We're gonna celebrate I don't know what me and the wife are all gonna movie at the wreck tomorrow night with the kids fucking the lawn chairs The whole fucking thing on Thursday like two fucking jerks off street jerks off and then Friday We're going to the fucking The pep rally holy shit. There's food trucks. There's a band There's arts and crafts, you know the family shit We're here this today to talk about women and motherfucking comedy, you know

for years people make fucking remarks about women doing comedy the guy from Let him in a couple years ago got fired because he said there was no funny women. I beg to differ. I Think there's like listen. Here's the fucking statement that has always killed me When you say women aren't funny you fucking contradict yourself right off the bat Because we all grew up on Lucille ball Lucille ball made us fucking scream for years. I don't see I love Lucy on TV no more So it makes you forget. I love Lucy cracked us up and we were fucking kids So for you to say somebody's not funny a woman a man whatever

But we're just focusing on women. I grew up on Lucille ball So I had tons of fucking respect for them and I love that lady that died years ago. God blessed us all I forget what her name is. She was filthy and I remember watching her host fucking The tonight show she would host for Johnny Carson and one night she had fucking Vanity on there and she was saying that fucking she started torturing Vanity for you guys don't know Vanity is a singer That used to date Prince and she made a song called nasty girl I played it on my patreon a couple weeks ago people were like who the fuck is this? It's an old song from 1982 and

She was on the tonight show. She had gotten a little heat for dating Prince or whatever She's on the fucking tonight show and the lady said to I can't believe you Dave Prince He makes Michael Jackson look like a green beret and all this shit. I mean she was fucking cracked You know this Prince had not really Prince it hit it was like 84 85 He had hit but motherfuckers didn't really know who the fuck Prince was, you know But anyway, I just liked her and then when I moved to LA when you go to the comedy store There was a fucking bunch of funny women and you know listen

I had a hard time following guys at the store But let me tell you something one of the hardest fucking follows at that store was a lady What the fuck was her name was just in the tip of my tongue Was a lady from Houston, Texas that used to run with Keneson and Bill Hicks and Carla bow She came to one of my shows in Connecticut. Beaumont Bacon was her name Holy shit Let me tell you something when Beaumont Bacon went on a fucking roll if you had a follower and you were a man You were dead

You were dead and I tried to warn guys about her like I'm like dog You're following Beaumont Bacon on the Saturday night. You don't want no piece of that and they would say fuck you I'm at the store every night. I could follow anybody. Okay Listen, it didn't fucking I knew I knew better I'm the type of dude that I fucking see the dangers and I try to avoid them if you got a fucking You know jump into the lion's mouth. You jump into the lion's mouth with fucking two hands in your dick out But you know, you I know what's dangerous, you know, I'm saying obviously, you know when something's dangerous I fucking stay the fuck away from it. You know, I don't fuck with it. I love Beaumont. I love them

In fact, she came to my show in Connecticut a couple years ago to thank me for talking about her and for respecting it as much as I did I remember I went to La Jolla I had to do a gig in San Diego and I stopped at La Jolla and there was a comic there. No names and I I Went to visit him. He was a good guy a friend of mine and I stopped by his show before my show my show was like a nine o'clock show and he had a Seven o'clock he had a eight o'clock show. So I took him out to dinner at seven and He was telling me like kind of telling me because I had to follow Beaumont last night and I'm like, look dog

Listen, I gave him a fucking fair one. I said listen We all want to be fucking great comics I got no problems with that But there's certain people that you follow that you have to work harder than others, you know if she like told him because he was saying he was mad because Beaumont was a fucking headliner and he was a headliner

kind of and They he kept saying well, we're gonna alternate and I said to him listen So she's gonna close out the first show and he goes. No, no, no, no, she's gonna close out the second show go listen, bro You don't want her to close out. You don't want to close out the first show That's the fucking date show That's when decent people come and they pay a babysitter and they fucking laugh and guess what? Those are the same people that go to comedy every week and they see three man shows They're gonna see a fucking girl and women are gonna go nuts. I go you don't want to especially in La Jolla

I go you don't want to follow her. Just tell it. You'll take the your feature for the first show. That's a smart move and Then the second show you go buck wild because the audience is buck wild you have nothing to lose He's like nah, that's pussy shit I'm gonna follow on the first show listen if you don't think I stayed to watch the fucking disaster You obviously don't fucking know me. I'm the type of dude that I Gotta see it to believe it. So I didn't say anything to him. I tried to fucking warn him that women were dangerous in comedy He's like nah, I could follow anybody at the store. I could follow boom I'm baking with my eyes closed. Listen. I called the promoter and said there was traffic in LA that I'll be there like at

915 I usually don't go on those shows till 940. I was the headline of those days. I wasn't a headliner either Let's get that out of the way. That was a long time ago. This had to be like 2000 I wasn't really a good headliner either. I was I was a fucking a good feature act And I'll never forget We walked back from the Chinese restaurant. I walked in there with him And sure enough I gave boom on a hug. I giggled when I hugged One of those like the one that the butler gave Eddie Murphy and boomerang when he brought the fucking dish When he was at the old lady when he had to fuck the old lady

She would invite people over and then fuck them. That's the way I went up to and I kind of giggled I'm like, oh, you're gonna kill this bad poor bastard. She's like, what are you talking? I don't know And I just sat there and I watched her go up as a feature For 20 minutes and this is what I'm saying to you guys Like a guy like me I'm dangerous in a 20 minute setting or I was dangerous in a 20 minute setting. I know you guys heard it a thousand times Because I would take 45 minutes and shrink it into 20 and not stop It's it's it's my world. I don't want to do an hour

Our comment sucks I'd rather do 20 minutes and blow you out of the fucking water that you sit there going. What the fuck Is this shit? Especially at the store at the store. I had those 18 minutes down to a science I know that you'll hear people going. You got to follow joey at the store. You Whitney Cummings always talks about it The hardest people I ever had to follow was AJ Jamal Don Marrera and then in the second chapter of my comedy career There was one guy that was dangerous in there and that was christa lia

Christa lia ali wong was fucking dangerous as death in the original room And I made it my point to follow ali wong. I told Fucking adam eget I go listen Me and ali work perfect together She fucking gets them open and I'll fucking close them. She knows exactly how to open up my doors for me I loved ali wong because ali wong would leave me with a tag to open up That wasn't part of my act Listen when you go up

I'm gonna give me comics a little tip right now when you go up on stage You don't want to open up with your material You want to open up with something that just happened in the room? You know i'm saying that's how you really get them and then you go into your written material But you want to get them with something loose for example Like ali wong would have a bit about going up on stage That she wanted to date a comic But the comic had to be funnier than her and for the comic to be funnier than her

Meant that the comic had to be older than she was so You know right away. She's talking about old men. I mean ali is probably 32 33. She's beautiful I love it at that great fucking comic great lady. I'm not saying nothing bad about her But she would go, you know, but she was she was all rated ali wong So she would talk all this shit up there about sex and stuff And she would say, you know, I want somebody to suck my pussy and all that whatever As soon as ali would bring me up

I would always go let's keep it going for ali wong I would suck the yin yin juice out of her pussy when you say yin yin juice they go fucking nuts You can't say it now because chinese people get mad at you. You know, it's a joke. I would say it on stage I would say that and bring the fucking house down then I could slip into my material then Scott jeff scott would play that song for me by uh Not cooling the gang but the other band do it till you're satisfied Whatever it is So I would do a little wiggle and then I would lay the line out about ali wong and I would do that all together

So now it was like a free ride once you get them with that yin yin juice You just steam roll them now. You don't stop. You don't look back. You don't look at your notes You just go and that was my secret. You just go keep talking talk talk Don't even give them a chance to laugh. I wouldn't even give them a chance to laugh that that applause break I would just keep hammering them hammer them hammer them for 18 minutes. I would leave there They would go what the fuck was that that's the magic of the store. You learn at the store how to use Those 18 minutes, but anyway forget about all the funniness and shit women in comedy have always

been a part of me last year when People were like, you know, joe rogan laughed at him talking about getting this dick suck If you see all the women that stick up for me a bunch of comics female comics stuck up to me Why? Because I did pull them aside and I did talk to them And I did give them love and I did show them, you know, don't do that. There was a girl that stuck up for me That I'll never forget. She's beautiful. She was a young girl. We're in the main room

And I saw that she had a shirt and she was showing her tits And I had seen her for like three Tuesdays in a row And I really wanted to say something to her But I didn't want to disrespect her. So finally one night she came up to me. She was a real cute girl Real sweet. I don't know what her name was. She'll tell you when she hears the podcast She'll pick up a hand and go he's talking about me One night I we were in the main room. It was like a Tuesday or Wednesday places packed And I watched her the earliest show and she was fucking funny this girl and she was really pretty

That's the contradiction. She was a real fucking knockout and she had tremendous tits and they're out here So I played the third week. I couldn't take it. No, I I didn't think I was doing her any favors By not telling her so I pulled her aside like a man. I didn't tell her in front of people like listen You're really fucking funny. You got a career in this shit, but You're mistaking you're thinking that they want to see your tits. I hope you don't get mad at me You got nice tits. I agree with you. They should see him But when you're on stage, you don't need those fucking machine guns out They're just beautiful machine guns. You don't need it. You have the ability

To kill them whether you or an ugly girl I mean, why are you showing those machine guns? There's no need for this fucking rifles out now Put them away and why and she fucking put a sweater on Went out there and killed and she came back in and she looked at me. She goes. Thank you You know, I could be her father. There was no I didn't want to hit on her I was just giving her advice And I did the same with a lot of those women from Kate Quigley Me and Felicia had a bond me and Allie had a bond me and Whitney had a bond me and Eliza had a bond

When I got in trouble Eliza reached out to me and said I support you. I mean, this is because They know who you are and they know how you've been with them The store got a bad rap over the years. Oh, they don't put enough women on stage. That's bullshit That's bullshit the women that deserve to be there were there and I saw them all and I supported them all and we laughed together And we always had a great fucking time So whoever tells you that when you hear it, don't believe the hype Women grew there women grew there by fucking huge numbers because all of us Took them and took care of them and told them it was going to be fine

That's what you do with younger and I did the same with male comics. I did the same with everybody after a while You're a comic, but you're older. You've been doing it for 20 years they look up to you as a Somebody to give them help or advice, you know, it's not that you're their mentor or nothing nothing like that I was never know who would fucking have me for a mentor. Yeah out of your mind You just talk to people My guest today is Eleanor Kerrigan All the respect

From every part of my body goes Eleanor Kerrigan She was a waitress for 12 years at the store when the store was nothing She looked she listened she learned and she kept a mouth shut And for that I fucking love it with all my heart And she gets all the respect that I have Andrew takes around the road Rogan has taken her on the road, you know, we've all done shows with uh, we give her all the respect in the world because she did it

She fucking paid attention. She sat there She saw how to do it and now She's one of the top women working in the country. I mean, she doesn't have to heat that Whitney has Or a fucking, you know Eliza, but give it time Eleanor is on her way. I hope you enjoy this interview I'll be back. Stay black. Enjoy What up Joe Diaz

What's happened beautiful. Thank you for calling into the joint today. I'm so excited Is this light too bright? No, it looks great I bring my light with me now in case I have to do auditions or something Good for you. That's the new fucking thing now. We got to bring a light. You look great. I don't know. I like your hair Like this. Oh, yeah, I had to buy a new blow dryer because my blow dryer blew up. So this one just flattens it Now where are you guys tonight? Uh, Dallas, uh, Fort Worth. I'm sorry. Yeah, Fort Worth hyenas. It's um, that's a good club That's a great club. I haven't been there in a minute

I'm in the one time Good good. I went to hyenas and fort worth And I did the the thursday night show Uh-huh And when I walked out of there, I was fucking starving I had a coke rock in my pocket, but I had to eat something Because I couldn't do the coke on an empty stomach And there was a black dude with a white wife beater like a white, you know, a regular wife beater shirt on

Makes sense Fucking hand prints all over the stomach It was as big as I was at the time. I was tipping the scales like 375. This brother had to be like 390 So we connected right off the bat. You know what I'm saying? Like you just connect. You're a fat dude I'm a fat slob. He was selling pork chops with the bone On white bread. Yes, he was he was frying them up. The griddle was filthy filthy And nobody else would buy the pork chops except your fucking Cuban buddy over here

I must ate six of those fucking things. They were delicious just a pork. You didn't get sick Not at all on white bread and get sick those days once you put cocaine in your body You know what it's like fucking mcdonald's ain't gonna do shit. You know what I'm saying? You can eat at fucking calls junior And you won't fucking die That is amazing to buy meat on the side of the road But on a grill, I've done it. I've done it a couple times. I've gotten burgers like outside of clubs You're right. You go outside of a club. You're just like starving. You're usually wasted. I don't do coke But I would get drunk

And I'd be like, let me just eat you eat a million hamburgers. You're like, uh, the next day you wake up Sick to your stomach and you didn't get sick. No, that's my white stomach my white irish stomach. It's very weak And you mother fuckers the irish could eat anything you guys Potatoes for 2,000 fucking years Those potato skins are filthy. I eat them. I like potato skins But the irish taught me how to eat the fucking skins and I was a kid They're like, yeah, I eat the skins. I'm like, I don't eat no fucking skins irish love the skin Eat the whole fucking thing. Oh, I love it. They'll just bite a potato

But they like things with no flavor. That's the irish But but boil the flavor out of it and you got an irish meal The flamingo kid when The singing eater Potatoes will I eat before I die? Because they eat potatoes like a mother fucking the Bronx and shit I'm telling you that's why I eat potatoes in the Bronx when I moved here from Cuba My mom had that operation in the Bronx and my whole palette got fucking up there the palace

Italian ice You know, the Bronx is the best when you're a fucking kid. They got everything fucking Pete I was the Puerto Rican Italian ice where they They're the big slab of ice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then they just shave it. You know dirty hands. They don't wear gloves COVID at his best. They don't give a fuck If some people are like, oh, you know, you get COVID from different I'm like, no, no, no You got to eat the right shit. Like we I think all that stuff blocks it for us Like that helps us fight it off

Don't you think I was in a restaurant the other night and the guys walking And he's breathing on the fucking food and shit. I'm like, am I gonna just eat fucking COVID? I mean Is that what we're getting to right now? You know, one variant is this dish. Yeah, you gotta bring the fucking dish with a cover on it like room service You can't be walking through a restaurant with 80 people everybody breathing the fucking COVID's in the air Now you eat a meatball next thing, you know, the fucking meatball gave you COVID now You gotta go to doctor and tell them where'd you get COVID? I don't know a meatball gave it to me. You fat fuck Get your life together. It was somebody's birthday and they brought a cake and we all blew the candles out

We spit on each other and then we ate the cake and now we're all dead. That's that's where we're at That's crazy. That's fucking crazy. Now it's making a comeback like herpes You know now now you got to worry about fucking having like a fucking thing on your lip Wait, wait, wait till they start shaving eyebrows like A good warrior like you gotta put two nicks in your eyebrows to let them know you got COVID how many times you got it Fucking crazy this world's yeah, kid drops of COVID. How many how many grandmothers died you gotta have put fucking That's fucking grandma killers These club owners they call them grandma killers. They're fucking grandma killers you go in that clubs now

There's no more pictures of comics. They just pictures of good that grandmother You know, my mom had COVID and she's 82 And she got through it and I swear she had it twice because she got real sick right before the pandemic And she don't remember having COVID the second time and I'll say mom you had COVID. She goes no, I didn't have COVID I'm like mom you had COVID so she's like I did not have COVID and then she'll go. Well, that's bullshit I'm like what and she goes they promised it would kill me I thought I go god Like that's the irish in a nutshell right there just waiting to die when the pandemic started I wrote an obituary

I was like because the first two weeks People told you you can't touch the mail. I still remember people don't go out and get your mail And I'm like there's a check in the mailbox wipe it down. Yeah, they were saying wipe it down. That's a sag check for a dollar I'm cashing it. I don't care who it's from. It's an old residual People like don't touch the mail don't wipe down the boxes. So we didn't really know, you know, like we didn't fucking know So at the beginning I was scared and I said the only way I can get unscared is if I just read an obituary And I just wrote an obituary out I took a picture of my balls and I told my wife if I die at the funeral parlor

To use the picture of my balls as the mass card You know how people give a picture of the saint obituary in your balls No, like in the back like a trading like a regular pride card Except for the saint just your balls and then flip it around joey dears You know fucking knee valdez Left the daughter a wife Some fucking waitresses at the store Fucking crazy

You know I want to kill you just to get the card. I know I was dying for people that that's my last thing I leave to the world. You you're all upset joey dears died No, so you got a prayer card. There's a picture of my balls with that motherfucker He got us all the way to the end with these fucking things and now you got to hang it up on your refrigerator Oh, yeah, what do you do with the prayer cards put it with the other prayer cards pop up and joe dears is balls Pop up you know picture of saint michael a picture of jesus and a picture of my nuts Fucking perfect. I'm sitting in the right hand of the lord

People are looking at it like I wonder what patron saint this is The balls that's what saint balls Nobody heard of that saint. He doesn't have a head Just balls. That's it. Oh, he's got a head. He's got wrecking balls coming at you balls What's going on with you beautiful Well, I'm just trying to survive man. We're on the road. It's so weird people are breaking our stones because we're not like You know coming out and hanging out can't hang out. Don't they know we're in a fucking pandemic People are giving me shit online for wearing a mask. Go fuck yourself

I'm trying to make money and if I get sick i'm fucked You know if you're a comic right now if you're looking at the bands You're looking at the bands like jimmy florentine. I feel so bad for he's the kiss of death when it comes to concerts He got four tickets for four different concerts and they all got covet. That tells you something right? Oh my god limp biscuit Friday night in atlantic city. He was supposed to go They got coveted uh something sons. I I don't know. I don't want to say the wrong band Right stained and corn tomorrow night corn the singer from corn got

Yeah, and lennard skinner the guitar player from lennard skinner. So that's That'll let you know what's going on right now. If you're on the road Sebastian got it tim dillon got it. Yeah, you're gonna get it Unless you go out like guns and roses in a bubble Yeah, we're trying to bubble it. We're trying to bubble it. It's it doesn't you know as a comic It's so hard Like I have an Austin Really why is austin gonna be rough?

No, no, especially when we were in austin because you so many people come to see there's so many people Comedy store basically moved down here like a lot of them. So everybody's like come hang out come hang out and I'm like He can't you know what I mean? So it's like it's hard as a comic. You want to go fuck around and Drink and just be normal, but you can't You got to like take a step back Were you in austin last weekend or you're going back to austin this weekend? I'm going back to austin On thursday, but we were in austin saturday and sunday

And uh, you guys is andrew going with you back to austin or that's no no no This is just me. I'm gonna do some shows at the vulcan and the creek in the cave And then do some podcasts and stuff and you and andrew have a lot of work left Uh, yeah, we have a couple. Yeah And some of them are his gigs like makeup gigs from last year And then some of them are just me headline like i'm at headlining um, atlantic city the uh celebrity Is it's called the celebrity theater and the cleridge? Yeah, so i'm doing that august 28th But the night before we're in chicago and that's his gig

So i'm opening for him coming back and then just going right to atlantic city I'm sorry. I didn't come to see you last time. You guys were at uncle vinnies. Oh, yeah, but again, it's like in my fucking mouth You had one stitches in my fucking mouth 58 years old You know when does it end? It's gonna get worse or andrew. I can you know, I look at my dick. I look at my balls It's a horrible situation. I don't even look at myself naked. You know when you come out of shower You always got that mirror and you just look like you know, what's going on with my body? I had to stop like two weeks ago

My dick. I don't know what happened to it. My ballsack is fucking old I'm old. You know, it's between your knees now. Is that is it that well? It's kept it's it's kept it's uh, You know, oh, it's kept its buoyancy. Yeah. Yeah, the bounce is still there. That's good bounce to the ounce But it's a little cuban beans in there. Yeah, I would show it to nobody no more even as a goof Like you you can't show it to nobody. I don't even show it to my wife anymore. It's It's all over. You get so old and so self-conscious. Yeah You know, I had to shave everything. I had like a heat rash For a couple weeks. I get you know in the humidity and shit like this is one reason

Listen, I I didn't remember all this shit. I hated about jersey And the thing I hate the most is the fucking humidity humidity when that thing gets in your asshole with the swamp And you don't even take a shit, but your ass smells you like it draws the stink out of your kidneys and shit I went to a restaurant on sunday night and they brought a clove of garlic clothes And I'm eating the whole fucking thing. I'm seeing that jimmy ain't even my wife ain't eating it I'm popping cloves like they're fucking tic-tacs

Who eats cloves of garlic? That's crazy. What are you a vampire? It was a whole garlic Uh-huh and but they put it on the dish with the steak and you could squeeze them out and pop them out and eat them I must have like edamame. That's funny. Oh, yeah, just like edamame. You never been to the garlic restaurant. I'm on uh Oh the stinking rolls. Yeah on lasanica. Okay. They give you a garlic a whole thing of garlic But they steam it putting butter on your bread you Push the garlic out and you smear it on your bread and you eat that. Oh Fucking tremendous, but don't go you can't go to the stinking rows if you have to do something afterward

Anything because it's this guy you could smell it driving up lasanica. You can't fucking stink. It stinks terrible You stink terrible My ex had a rule no garlic if I ate garlic Two days and I didn't see him for two days I'd be with him and he go when'd you have garlic and I'm like, what the fuck does that just stay on you? So I'm afraid of garlic because he wouldn't go near man. No, you gotta eat garlic It's good for your heart. It cleans out the valves

Takes your stomach over and you blow I blew a fart Sunday night the first official fart from the garlic was like three hours later It was silent. It was small But I blew up my basement that my wave came down and she goes Jesus christ the cats blew up the fucking Little box I go don't blame it on the cats not this time This is all papa and then monday I went to the gym and there's like this couple that though But they don't want to shut the fuck up at the gym They constantly talk they constantly talks. He requests bad music. He was doing setups

It was perfect. I was doing the axes outside hitting the tire and I walked in there's a little alley in the back Just a little segment where you walk in it's not closed off He was in there doing the sit-ups on the fucking Sit-up machine. Oh, he was coming into it. He was coming into it. So I just stood right there With my back to him and I dropped a fucking one of those long rippers Yeah, like a dense fart like it just lives It just came out warm out of my ass. I was doing fucking crunches and hitting the tire So I was working it. I could feel the fart developing. It was sticking to the ribs

And I cupped it. You have to cup it like Oh my god, my brother used to do that Put it in my mouth and you push the fucking fart down And I blew that fart and he walked into it his face is red. I looked at him from the fucking squat machine He walked into it his face was as red as my shirt and when he inhaled it On the put on the sit-up I could see he just stopped he froze and then he went down slowly And he's like it stinks in here. What's that smell? He's a little fucked up in that

And I went up to one of the trainers I go he ain't gonna say a word for 10 fucking minutes now And he didn't say a word. He just walked around with his nose shut Just tell him it's good for your heart. He told his wife not to go on that side. Don't come on this side. It smells funny I don't know. I think one of the toilet broke You clear a gym with your fart that's clear the quarter of the fucking gym. I'll tell you that much It's not a big gym But I took that motherfucking the one guy rich. He's like a crazy brooklyn guy. He's like I smelled that fart. That was tremendous I go it was fucking tremendous. There's some of my best work

I mean, you're getting congratulated for a fart. That's amazing. That must be real art It's an art I don't fart anymore like I used to because I stopped eating the garlic pills I would eat them on purpose or on leak because I wanted to fucking fuck them up. You know what I'm saying Poorly get stoned and to taste the flavor of my muffler And to taste the patois the asshole and he would so He was just sitting that little corner and he walked out of there smelling like a stinking rose dog Poorly rose. You cannot eat there and go to I went to the kayak there one time

In 23 years I lived in LA. I went there one never went there And I went straight to the comedy store afterward and I fucking stunk The girl I was with stunk It's just a stinky fucking proposition. You know what I'm saying? It throws the ph off on your pussy and your asshole So the two is just banging and stinks together stink No, we I took showers and I had she had to take a shower too. Ain't nobody coming in here with a garlic asshole Or a garlic flavored pussy in my house and shit. So how did you get stitches in your mouth? Before I left fucking LA

I had to do A cap and shit My coke tooth had fucked up the one in the front And they had to replace it and then they had a you know, you just can't go to the dentist for one tooth Oh never works that then they start with the well, this one won't match that one. Who gives a fuck Yeah, I'm not a can I chew model cares. Yeah, this one doesn't match And if we do those then we got to do the ones in the bottom So I ended up

Doing eight fucking teeth and my little Dracula fang over here I got those fucking got infected and my and now they're infected my gums Are infected again, so I gotta go back on the 30th Yeah, I have nightmares from the dentist because as a kid this tooth I got it knocked out by a football this older kid through the football I went to catch it. I thought I was tough, you know Hit so hard the tooth went up

It didn't come out until like fifth or sixth grade And then it came straight out and it was jet black and they were like And my mom didn't have money So we had to go to like dentist schools and we go in the dentist school And I might they do work for free because they want to learn and my mom's like, yeah See if you can fix that my brothers used to call me yuck mouth because my teeth were all fucked up And then I go in there and they they're in there and they're like it's like learning So they're in your mouth and you hear oops, and I'm like the fuck is oops. No, oops

No, I have enough oops in here. Don't oops me But they fixed it and I got braces for free And I have braces forever and then I let my bottom teeth go. So now I have to get in vizaline Jesus Christ, it don't they never I never stops But now I have to pay for it. I can't go to any dental school I don't know how but I have a upper like I have teeth and it's I shouldn't because they were so bad and they I got them knocked down a lot It's crazy because I lived in like four areas where you could go to schools

And I had friends I would say you want a massage like in bolder when I lived in bolder. It was a place It was a massage school So if you want you got a massage for like fucking 10 bucks You know because they're learning and then there was another place what I live Oh when I lived in bolder, there was also a place the girl told me you come in and get your haircut And any time you want because we Were students I went in there one time Half my head was blue. The other one was fucking green. I said I ain't going back there no more

That was the only time I went to one of those schools I'm not gonna lie to you because those are scary because you never know what's gonna happen My sister was doing that. She was in high school Get you remember when you go to school and you could have um, you could go for a trade Like instead of going to high school, they would let you take you go to regular academic for half the day And then go to another school and learn a trade. My sister was becoming a hairdresser. He's 10 years older She gave me a body wave in the third grade I look like such a dick at my communion because I had this ugly body wave

But she was testing it on my hair and my mom led her Awful, I'd have to go to school like a poodle for years Because of her so when she shaved one side of my head Fucking Karen That's her name too You look really good. Thank you. I can't believe I have hair because of her They like the shirt made in south Philly. I fucking love this shirt, man. That's you made in south Motherfucking Philly. How's the COVID situation in Philly? I don't even give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. There's no mass

They breathe on you. Oh, yeah, my buddy that makes these shirts. His name's tony bat dirty mug. He's unbelievable He's doing shirts for me too. And so, uh, he He's like, what are you wearing a mask for? Which one are we? And I go, I know I'm just, you know, because I'm traveling a lot And he's like, I don't need no mask I'm like, I do need a mask and I go, he goes, didn't you guys Didn't you get COVID when your mom got it? I go, yeah, you go, you can't get it again I go, thanks Fauci. Just give me a t-shirt You can't get it again. Oh, you can't. I think Steve Simone got it twice

I think you can get it. I think it will be mild, but you can get it Cause I definitely think my mom had it twice. She was so sick in February before the shutdown And then we shut down She went to the doctors somebody in the office had it She got it brought it home and then we all got it taken care of her because she was Going through some dumb shit, you know, normal 82 year old shit 82

But now she's 83. She's killing it. Yeah 83 COVID already came and went she got the world by the balls. You're a lucky lady, Eleanor At least you got good genes You know, you're gonna be alive for a long time 10 kids, you know, no uterus. She's killing it. No uterus the COVID fucking Didn't take it down. I I send you my love. You're fucking lucky. You still got your mom around Oh, yeah, I told her every day not to have a fucking mom. You still got your mom around, you know It's crazy. How funny I don't think of myself With this COVID like I didn't really

Think of what I was losing with this COVID. I thought about Because all comics like us are losing this money Yeah, that's it. We're just losing money. So I didn't really think about it like that I thought about the younger comics the guys that have been doing comedy for four years Three years five years three years like that breaks my heart because I knew how I was At the five-year level you weren't gonna tell me I wasn't getting on stage because of some fucking disease Yeah, like you weren't gonna tell me like I remember, you know, I had to actually think back and go Let's be honest with yourself. Joey

At the five-year mark, you weren't gonna fucking stop me. I'm going on stage I used to if I couldn't go it was like a drug for me. It had become an addiction It had come an addiction like any other addiction I had and I would if worst-case scenario I would hit a karaoke spot Oh, I did everything remember we were doing strip clubs in la. I was doing cheetahs. I was doing that's right. It was insane I loved it. It's insane. You have to you know at the 20 year mark 30 year mark. You're already established You're just losing money You can write at home. You know what I'm saying? Like you could you're so you're so mature in comedy that you're like, okay

This isn't that bad I feel bad for the guys that you know, josh potter Had like so many things going on and kovat Swept them from them the guys that were just ready to headline just right there. Yeah, you know, it's like when I was doing like in 2008 or nine Whenever the strike was I was doing my name is erl and I had like four. Oh, yeah, and I'm like, this is great I'm gonna be on tv for pilot season That's so great, which means that

Fucking february you're on tv. Some producers gonna be deal. It's my name is erl. They're gonna see you and go Maybe I could use that fat fuck for my show, you know And all of a sudden there was a fucking writer strike. I was heartbroken Like I'm like, what do you mean a writer strike? I gotta go to work. I gotta I got my name is erl Michael rapper port. We're having a good time. I'm killing it. Yeah I'm killing it and now you motherfuckers come up with a strike Like I was fucking heartbroken, but that could only happen to me at that time. You know what I'm saying? Like I have

All my fucking trees planted on this fucking tv show being on tv in february and now There's a fucking writer strike. So like throughout this whole thing I didn't really think of the older comics. Like you have something you could do. You know what I mean? You could go to the script. You know what you're doing already. Yeah, I thought about the younger guys like five six years That would just get ready a feature Like they they just got their first feature week mark march 18th night the march night and everything closed down on the 17th or the 16th of march. It was a monday So you're like, what the fuck do I do? Like I felt so bad

For those guys, you know I don't want you to think that i'm you know, I I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just saying that Like I I do feel bad for all the comics, you know, because it's money involved and I thought yeah that aspect But I didn't feel bad, you know, the money will come later. We'll go on the road later We'll figure it out. Yeah in the beginning. I think everybody was in panic mode like but I was Joe I was making jokes that um, I'm the pandemic comic because they're like who draws 30 people Will you come to Kansas City? I'm like, hey, man. I don't got no kids

Good I'll come and I would fly out and do like I was going to places that because I was already booked But they got all canceled and then once they opened up a little They were like, hey, would you come here? And I did and I went to Arizona. I went to minnesota I was all over the place Just and that's why I recorded an album at uncle venny's because I was doing I was working that out I had already planned to do it before the pandemic But I was lucky enough to go out and we only had, you know, I think they could only sell like 30 tickets So they were like, who would want to work in front of 30 people? I'm like, I will

So I did I got lucky, you know, and I was doing And then money got cut in half, you know, obviously everything So you're you're still struggling but at the same time I was still getting to do What I wanted to do and I was able to record the album at uncle venny's in april. So It was very exciting. You have no idea Like when older comics talk like from the comedy store How many people are really proud of you? Oh, that's so sweet

You have I think ari came down here. Maybe two months ago. We went to get chinese food and we were talking about it We're talking about, you know, the jump that elinor made, you know, like elinor paid attention for 10 years Without doing 12 12 years without doing comedy, but you paid attention And I always tell when people always say to me, well, I'm taking a start in comedy If I know the person really well and I like them, I'll go listen to best advice Just get a job around it Around it is a hundred percent a job around it You know, I don't care if you're a doorman. I don't care if you're bartender. I don't care if you're a bus boy

Get a job around it. So you look at our punky Yeah, look at our punky I mean Literally like she's like you did it first. I'm like, no, no. I did not I wasn't a waitress I would never I I left as a waitress came back a year later as a comic and mitzi The reason I was so nervous to tell mitzi is because and I put this quote on my album But mitzi would always go. Oh, no another waitress term comic. It's gonna be awful And she was not wrong

She wasn't wrong, but punky came in as a comic, you know what I mean? I didn't come in as a comic I had no interest but punky came in as a comic worked her ass off as a waitress a bartender Whatever job that she would be able to do to get stage time in any way shape or form now. She's on snl I think she's doing a show right now She she booked a show so she had to cancel a lot of her live gigs She's killing it. She's killing it and I couldn't be happier or prouder of her, you know, they they had that's a real product of the comedy store. Yeah, yeah you know it pissed me off because

All these women were talking shit about the comedy store. Oh, please don't get me angry. They had no idea that A lot of the male comics in there were giving love to the females the way, you know 100% we were excited for you. We were really excited for you. I think You know, if I have a I still remember going to the comedy store like before the pandemic and me and joe watching you Like in the original room one night and going can you fucking believe? Like this is fuck. She's killing up here. Like who the fuck would thought you know And so awesome so many people from the store like even when punky got sat in that live

Doug, I think I cried Me too same Who's people knew what love we had for each other whether it's felicia you Allie wong fucking the little blonde chick. That's like a prowess on stage. Eliza. Yeah, I love Jessica Oh my god, people had no idea how close we were. I'll never forget ripping my fucking hamstring and being on the floor in pain And going what the fuck and Annie leaving and coming up to me going you want me to get somebody to suck your dick and I'm like on

Do you want your blowjob? Your dick sucked and I'm like, Annie, what the fuck? She's like one of the guys here to suck your dick while you're on the floor, you know People don't understand it piss me off so much and you want to yell, but you're like, it's not gonna they don't know They don't fucking know they get it from one girl that says I went to the store and I was mistreated Give me a spot Yeah, they're not gonna you got to work for it. You got to really put the time You got to really like stop getting on twitter and complaining about shit. Just go write jokes

Like annie and I say it all the time. Annie. I think she wrote it like because somebody was giving the store a hard time Because they didn't understand how you get in the store. They thought you your manager calls and then you just get spot That's not how life works. That's not how it works over there Maybe other clubs, but not at the comedy store. You have to come up. I remember as As holy as tommy was What's his name was doing the um The emmy's or something and jeff chatty brought him in Shit, he's a big name and I can't think I could see his face jason sedacus

Hey, he walked in and he goes. Hey, he wants to work out some stuff and tommy was like, well, he's not a regular I was like, holy shit But he goes, wow, we can give him some time in the belly room, you know It's like, dude, you got to go through the process of the store. You don't get to just walk in there You don't get to just come in and become a regular because you have credits I mean a little bit now, but not let before No Listen, you can have 20 credits if you can't cut it up on stage

It ain't gonna help you 100 credits are not gonna help you so knock it off with the fucking credits I find you need is hard work That's the credit that you need Credits don't do dick for you. That's what people, you know, there's nothing more annoying than going through comedy and then reflecting on the stories when you were mc And a feature act especially an mc. I still remember all the headlines that gave me a hard time

Like this is my name, you know, don't forget to mention mbc. It's not gonna matter It doesn't matter. You're gonna eat a bag of dicks. I saw you act terrible I could go up there and say that jesus and you wrote jokes together. It doesn't matter. You're gonna Doesn't matter, you know, I was lucky enough to be a host at the broker in bolder. That's where I really Oh, okay. It was a one nighter for triple And those california comics were failures in california. That's why we're doing triple runs as a headliner. I'm sorry to say And they would treat you a feature act the guy who was mc and like shit They would treat me like shit. I would have to check them and tell them

Don't forget. I'll fucking, you know, put you in the trunk of a car and shit. You know, I'd have to check them But it was always, you know Uh, you forgot to say Friday night lights. Who gives a fuck you were an extra That's right. Exactly. What about the dudes who would tell you that they weren't a movie? And they were really an extra And they lied to you, you know, I remember being a feature act and seeing the headliner Talking to people after the show and they would ask him like so. What's next for you? Are you and any and I would feel like going stop it. He's on the triple run. He's in no danger

What are you asking if there's any television in his life? There's not there's nothing in his life. He's a bum This guy, you know, there were people who tell me that don't go to LA You're not gonna get any spots I still remember being at the improv on the sunday night. It was like my first sunday at the improv And I'm like, I've been here two weeks. I'm getting spots at the improv. What were those jerks on the road talking about? You're not gonna get any spots. You're because they don't work hard and they're not funny They're missing everything. They have the credits. They're coming. They're showing up But they're not funny. You're missing the key element. You gotta be funny

And at the comedy star when the when girls shit on the comedy store and and I do know Flor fact that there were some girls that had issues with some male comics not the establishment itself But some male comics whatever, but they don't represent the whole place These there's a small group of idiots that did some dumb shit, right? But every time a girl a female comic says, well, you know, fuck this story They don't put enough women on or this or that it's like you're discrediting every fucking one of us that busted our ass And get in there and bump those fucking guys off the lineup because we're better than that You you should Eliza Schlesinger

I don't care if you like or don't like her her hard work. Her work ethic is Unfucking unbelievable She had a bad fucking relationship and made a move wrote a movie about it And then got it on Netflix and I think she's recording her. I don't know ninth special That's and she's selling out theaters and no one says a fucking word about that. They're just like, oh fuck They don't hire women. What are you crazy? Candice Thompson writes on every show. She's fucking phenomenal. Like, what are you saying? There's so many come leslie jones There's so many of us and every time they say that they discredit how hard we fucking work to get in there and stay in there

Annie letterman too. She's moving up in the ranks. She's one of my absolute favorites As a person as a person and just fucking hilarious. Everybody knows I love Annie So I mean I I have my favorites, of course But when somebody's funny like they hate it adam because they're like, oh, he only puts on people that have credits No, he doesn't he puts on people that make him fucking laugh And he was in charge and if you made him laugh and you did well in that room You got spots if you did it he took you out just like mitzi would do You tell me did it too, but adam adam was a very good talent coordinator. Excellent. Excellent. I've had my favorites in there

I really like scott day. Oh, yeah, I love scott day. Of course. One of my favorites I was out there with him and andrew arguing one night Him and andrew because the answer was banned, right? Yes. I remember that That's how I met andrew through scott day an argument with scott day scott scott day What do you mean i'm banned Every week still talk to scott day on facebook me too. Yeah, I love scott. He's a good guy I've never forgotten him. I never forgot what he did. You know, I used to talk to him

I used to go and then go dog. I keep bombing in here I don't know what to do like I didn't want to hide the fact like I would there was some nights. He would stay late Yeah, and if he'd liked you he really would work. He would push that you got he would push for me And that's because I was honest with him because I went up to him and told him I was struggling Like I'm having a hard time in here some nights You know mitzi you couldn't tell her you were struggling because then she's right back into the mouth to the lion I went up to mitzi and I was like dog. I struggle in the main room. Don't put me in there no more You're in there friday and saturday. Fuck

And you know, I hated going in there even though it was a lot more money I didn't know I wanted to be honest with everybody So I would go up to and go missy. I'm struggling on the weekends in the main room. I can't follow aj jamao I can't follow down the road chocolate Yeah, he dog aj jamao. I fucking love aj aj jamao. I've been Trying to bring up this guy's name for years. I got to feature for him in arizona And I was so excited and he's like you're doing comedy. It was years ago. I have not seen him Oh my god, he was in arizona. I was so excited and the uh, damidonia was with me

He was the gonna be the host and we were so excited and he goes who's aj jamao? I go no one likes you How do you not know aj jamao? He's so fucking funny and I he killed For you guys at home and no no aj jamao mitzi used to give me spots behind him And I'll see later Friday and doma rara on saturday. I fucking hated dom Because he would fucking light that room on fire And then say shit to me as I was walking on stage you motherfucker You get he bastard you yeah, just break your balls. You're breaking my balls before I bomb

I'm gonna go in there and eat a bag of dicks I'll never forget one night while I was driving down there and I got pulled over to get a ticket. I'm like, thank god I don't have to follow doma rara tonight or fucking I'd rather pay the hundred dollar ticket. I used to and explain to the people at home You know in the original room. It's $15 Yeah in the main room in 97 and 98 was 25, you know on saturdays. It was maybe 180 I didn't want the money. I'd rather be broke even though I was a junkie on coke. I didn't want Mitchy don't put like I need to grow put me in the $15. I'd rather get the $15 and try to find the cell phone

And sell it to the bank robbers from st. Louis. Remember those black dudes? I used to hang out. Yeah. Oh, do I remember? they were bank robbers Every night I go into the store. I think I left my cell phone. I didn't even have a fucking I think I had a pager enough money for JJ the king of beepers the fucking Yeah, remember paul mooney used to goof on JJ. He had a joke that wrapped up With JJ the king of beepers. Yeah, yeah beepers For people who don't know JJ the king of beepers was the first one

He was the prostitutes investor What's the big madam Oh, uh, uh, Heidi slice Heidi slice. He was partners with Heidi slice JJ the king of beepers When we moved to LA the fucking store was he can't be like 10 million beepers in there Then the store is a lot back so many memories smaller smaller. It was right behind wendy's On sunset behind hoys walk. Yeah It's he had

JJ the king of beepers must have had fucking 20 offices when I moved to LA And then over time it just kept getting smaller and smaller and then he got arrested for the Heidi slice thing Right something happened and the thing just shrunk the fucking nothing I have to go in there once a month and pay 30 bucks for the fucking pager The shit we used to do you remember like I dated my wife As boyfriend and girlfriend, but we didn't say nothing to nobody because we didn't want mitzvah Oh, I know and one night we walked into rock and roll rouse and we saw you You were the first one to know we were dating and I remember

I was like, oh boy. What are you doing with her? And I'm like, I don't know She don't even fucking eat butter She's margarine like I don't even know what I'm doing with her. I made it by butter for the first time She's like, I've been eating margarine for you. Who eats margarine white people do disgusting I fucking hate margarine, but that first day that was the first time we ever went shopping together We're together like three weeks and you busted us Like what the fuck do we do now? I got eyes everywhere This one's gonna say about scott day and like the difference between scott day and adam

Egan was that adam He was the guy Like with scott like you could go talk to scott and tell him Oh, and I'm not doing well. I don't know what to do or whatever because he wasn't the main person He could if he wasn't giving you spots, he could say oh well mitzvah's just not giving you spots You know what I mean? Whereas adam was the guy so people would attack adam and be like, I have credits How dare you not give me spots? He's like Like he has nobody to blame at all. He can't say oh mitzvah or this or whatever

So he just got his ass kicked so he would hide in the back of the comedy store And I'd be like adam why are you hiding behind the door? He's like they're fucking coming at me I'm like get in your car and get out of here But he wouldn't try to like stay and like watch people to see if they were getting better or not And they weren't no one gave him the respect he deserved Maybe it's just we we knew him too well when he was a manager. We would shit on them Like I just saw adam as a manager. I knew adam as a talent like I'd never go there for those seven years

So I knew adam as a talent coordinator never as a manager or anything. I thought he was great I agree nothing better than sexually harassing adam Yeah, which is what I do on a regular basis. I just I saw him in austin and I grabbed his ass and he's like, okay Come on and I'm like, come on. Let me see and he's like get away from it I'm like, come on. We we all want to see that hog. Let me see it He gets so mad I don't know. So the cd comes out friday

Yeah, or august 20th. Is that friday? Is that friday? Yes friday. How do you feel about it? I'm excited at first. Um, you know, because you you record the album. It's with the 800 pound gorilla people. They're so nice good people and Great people and they sent all the Both nights in tracks So I had to listen to it I don't know a hundred fucking times because I was like, this is terrible the first week. I was like, it's awful I'm not doing it. I'm not putting it out. It's the worst album I ever heard and then this the guy goes

Well, where do you where where do we go from here? And I'm like Obviously I quit the business and I moved back to philadelphia and just marry whoever's getting out of prison in the next couple weeks He was like, um You might want to take a day or two and not listen and then go back to it And then I did and I think you know as a comic we just beat this shit out of ourselves and you want it You want it to be funny you want You want them to experience what you you know, because everybody does what's funny to them But you also want other people to you know, accept it and so

I I went through it through I had index cards all over with different nights different bits blah blah blah and then I finally got it down to what I what I like and I'm proud of And that's it and the album cover they killed it with that Because it's called lady like because every time I get off stage After working with Andrew Hogle that was lady like So so I call it lady like because I'm a lady I'm very fucking proud of you, and I'm very proud of what you've accomplished Yeah, it called you a friend because we've been friends for 23 fucking years from that dungeon

Jesus, it's so long It just happened, you know, it just it just rolls by you're like You know when I was first going in and then I'd see you in that we go How long are we gonna last in here really when we're gonna get fired from here every time I leave there? I would be oh, I was fired every other week. Yeah me too. I was like, I would fire myself. I'm like, that's the last time I'm doing this I'm not going down that a bomb again, but she kept giving me love and she kept You know, we were a family

Yeah, a sick family, but we're a family We were a family, you know Paulie hit me up the other day and he's like, hey, but and I go Paulie What the fuck is wrong with you? We're like brothers We're like brothers. We had the same mother Yeah We all had the same mother. She was that's right. Yeah, dad was like, I'm I'm I'm out of mothers Like all my mothers have died Like when my mother died, I had like 20 adopted mothers. Mr. Sabatino. I'm the one mother Terry's mom

I'm not the one mom. I used to have 15 fucking moms. Mrs. Ronnie died mitzy short died, you know Mrs. Sabatino died Mrs. Labrano's still alive. I got like two mothers left I went from having no mother to 20 mothers and then You know, I was like in heaven. Who's got 20 mothers? Right, you know, you called me a motherfucker. I had to smack you 20 times because I got 20 mothers. You know what I'm saying? I Who's got 20 moms? I called 20 women mom mom. What's going on mom? Mom a little by little over the years

My mom's have disappeared man. So I'm down to a mother-in-law What a fucking shame That is it sucks, but it's true. It's like when I see paulie. I'm like, oh, hey like I feel Comfortable even though we would fight like crazy named paulie. Oh my god because it was you know mitzy would You know be like, oh, you got to ask alan or So we're thinking today And he's like the fuck fuck her, you know, and I get it. I get it But he came in a couple of months ago. I was at the store. It was late night. It was very dead

like The original room was packed, but the main room was closed. The belly room was closed So it felt weird, you know when the the wall you're just in there and it's so dark And paulie's like dude, right? It's like old school He goes it's the way my mom wanted it like paulie. That's all But he's not wrong. He's not wrong That was a good time in alan or you know alan or they can't take that from us Never and we we laughed we had the best night that night and paulie was part of it

Which didn't normally happen because we were kind of like Oh, that's the boss's son, you know, we were like, hey paulie But then we would you know box him out for the most part, especially weight staff But we that night he hung out with the comics He was a little tipsy, but like not crazy. It was so fucking funny. We had so much fun It was like meet him kirk fox ryan o'neill I forget who out kirk metsker and we were just laughing and giggling and telling stories

And heart the bartender I don't miss comedy, but I miss the store Yeah, those bonding those fun nights where it's just like Towards the end when you'd walk on tuesday night when you walk into the main room Gina would give you a blunt That'd be chicks giving massages. There was a chick in the back giving massages. I never went back there I'm like, I'm not going back there. She was a sweetheart. You want a massage? Hey, she wants to be a comic so she put herself around it. She's great joy. Yeah

She was great. She's great. You know the masseuse the abx capsule guys. I would leave They would come up to me and go we're gonna put it in your coffee They gave me a bag a goodie bag even if I wasn't on the show. Oh, we got a bag for you. We got a bag for you guys I miss gino. I miss You know, nobody understands that Gino's great What gave me the momentum to go out on the weekends was those tuesday nights at the store. They were everywhere That was the you know, that was our ball night. That was our ball. That was it. That's right. I would drink four expressos

before I'd go down there Four and a joint and edible And a half is annex and I would run down and I'd be fucking ready because I would get so much anxiety in there Like it would be so big on tuesday nights It's great. I do triply show and then if I was lucky I get a spot The or and then the belly roll and just fucking bounce around I was like You wouldn't leave. It was great. You're in this one building. You get to do three four shows a night It's fucking phenomenal. I can't wait for it to really come back. I don't know if it will those were triply shows, right?

That's tuesday Sometimes rogan would do them, but triply was that was mostly his thing the girl that was great. Oh, yeah, yeah I love that. I just Sarah mellow. No, yes, Sarah mellow. She just asked me for a reference for something I'm like, sorry, you got it. You were anything you want. She's terrific. Yeah What a great place man, and uh, I'm sad. I'm in new jersey now, but it's in my fucking heart You can't take it away from the marine of comedy Can't take the comedy store away from me. You can't take those tuesday nights. You can't take those bombings Barney j. Jamal

You can't take those bombings away from me from dama rara. You know, you just can't this is that little shit. Yeah How is he? Have you seen him? Of course. I talk to dom all the time. I'm gonna give him a call tonight I'm happy. Oh, please do. He's so fun. He's a great guy. I I still talked a lot of guys I still I talked to the l the other night That was okay. How's the l? I talked to a lot of people just separate staggered Yeah, sure. I talked to kate the other night. It's staggered. You know, so you check in with people. Yeah, george pares, you know Jorge

I love george. I love Jorge, but you keep doing what you're doing. I'm really fucking proud of you, man I miss you. Thank you. I'm I love seeing your face. You look great by the way Yeah, we're trying when jimmy told me your album was coming out. I'm like i'm getting around this week We got a break. I had too much cock on here I gotta have a pretty girl on here the last 10 weeks. Oh, then I'll keep my cock tucked. Thanks. Keep your cock between your legs for now Where can they find your album on friday? It drops everywhere on friday. So wherever you find albums itunes We had it exclusively streaming on pandora and sirius

So that was the you know, it's playing all week. You can stream it But for purchase, it doesn't come out until 8 20 and it'll be on itunes everything You wherever else you get albums. So you need something you call Yes, sir. Andrew same and i'll be over that side. So i'll hit you guys up. Maybe i'll swing out to august 28th August 28th. I'm in atlantic city, but in september. Uh, I think it's the 24th 23rd 24 25th something like that I'm at uncle venny's. I don't have my calendar in front of me, but i'm doing You're gonna be back there again. I saw you're gonna be back. Yeah, headlining at the end of september there. So I have to go back to the dentist on the 30th

This motherfucker, he's gonna rip out the fucking racket those miserable fucks. Oh, they're gonna rip out the fang They're gonna rip out This that steve simone's you're making me. Oh, you're going to steve's brother. No, he put this in there 15 years ago 20 years ago when he had to practice in santa monica Yeah, and now he's saying that this is no good no more So we're gonna take it out and we're gonna see where we're at. They're probably gonna have to fucking stitch everything again Oh, they never like anybody else's work these motherfuckers. No, no, so they did it all wrong. Let me reconfigure your whole mouth Fuck you. Oh, I don't know what the fuck made me made this swell. You know, I wish it was

19 up to 92,000 I could say I ate some bad pussy at the store And your gums got swollen, but I can't even use brought and pussy as an excuse for this shit I love you. Eleanor. Stay black. Give my best to andrew I love you too. You're the best give my best to red band and everybody in austin and uh, yes I love you. I'm very proud of you. I'm very proud of your success Thank you so much for having me. It was so good to see you and hang out at the joint with jelly You got it. Stay black and stay beautiful. I'll give you a call next week. You got it. Love you. You got it. Love you All right, you bad motherfuckers, I hope you enjoyed Eleanor Kerrigan

Guess what laughing gas is back in stock. You bad motherfuckers They put a pound in there last friday They're putting another pound in there this fucking friday the 20th And then at the end of the month with the coming in with the big fucking grow So do not forget to stop in over at the ice cream shop and studio city Tell them uncle joey sent you. I want to thank Eleanor. I want to thank fucking ice cream shop But most importantly, I want to thank you cocksuckers for watching The joint with uncle joey every monday and wednesday and support us

I hope you enjoyed Eleanor Kerrigan. Do not forget to go to itunes Or any of the platforms her album is playing on serious. I don't know what channel you're gonna have to fucking Oh, it's probably the the comedy the dirty comedy channel. I forget raw dog raw dog She's probably playing on road dog. Listen to us support Eleanor Kerrigan. She's one of us guys She's a fucking savage and I have watched to grow And i'm very proud of it. But anyway, thank you very much for supporting the joint Thank you for supporting uncle joey. Thank you for supporting mike by from one by one podcast I want to give a shout out to my man. Jay. It was his birthday last week

I promised him and his fucking friend from sygovia that I would give him a shout out and here we are Happy birthday. Jay. I love you mother fuckers. Have a great week and I'll see you guys monday morning Tip top magoo ready to go. Have a great weekend. Stay black and don't forget draft kings on mother fucking saturday for the Pacquiao ogre's fight a dollar to win a hundred dollars I'm trying to make you guys some money and now for a word for my mother fucking sponsors jack All right, I want to thank you mother fuckers for listening today. I want to thank eleanor kerrigan Do not forget to get her cd on friday. It comes out an 800 pound gorilla

It'll be on itunes and all the other streaming services and it's also playing On serious xm probably road dog. I don't know for sure The joint is brought to you by cbd lion. Listen when it comes to cbd Nobody knows dick except the lion. I've been working with them for three four years now They're tremendous. I use their melatonin gummies at night to sleep like a baby I use their tape to put on my knee and I've even smoked their hemp flower Just to see how it is and they relaxes you. It's fantastic. It's great. Go to cbd lion.com right now Pressing joey and let cbd do the work

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And that's what I do here. I want to thank everybody who sponsored. I want to thank everybody who watched Everybody who supported us. I love you guys with all my heart We'll be back monday morning ready to rock have a great weekend And be tip top magoo and use blue chew get your fucking hammer sucked I love you cocksucker. Stay black