Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 09/02/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #108

Episode Date: September 3, 2013

Director and all around bad ass Billy Corben calls in again. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Visit Dollarshaveclub.com/church for great deals. Streamed live on 09/02/2013

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey that's huluplus.com slash joey and by dollashaveclub.com. Get high quality razors sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay retail. Now go to dollashaveclub.com slash church that's dollashaveclub.com slash church or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollashaveclub banner. Oh shit. My foot's outside the door. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Never. Drinking fucking ale, smoking dope. You got no cheeseburgers but it gives a fuck. What's happening baby? I'm

feeling awesome. Look at you you're a fucking savage. You spent the weekend and where are you? Just around Anaheim. Tell them what you had. Tell these motherfuckers. I had a jacuzzi in my bedroom. Oh shit. Yeah. That takes the spun juice right out of your fucking jacuzzi. Oh it does but you did it with your wife a couple weeks ago. No we had no fucking jacuzzi. You didn't have a jacuzzi but you went away for a couple days. We didn't go anywhere. We didn't do anything. We just went to Anaheim. It cost like 150 bucks a night. You didn't go to the beach or anything. I don't think there's a beach in Anaheim. You didn't bust a fucking bikini on and drive the girls crazy. We have the jacuzzi in the bedroom. What are we gonna leave for?

Had some tequila. Had some uh some alcohol. Did you have some room service? No we didn't. Why not? You didn't get no strawberries, no whipped cream. Put them in a little bulito and like that little monkey on fire. You sexy motherfucker. Look at you. You're a pimp dog. You're a fucking pimp. Taking freaks down the fucking freaks. This is your girl now. You're in love. Look at you. Yeah we were asleep by 12 30. Were you? Fuck yeah. I mean I mean we had a long day. You're a savage. Yeah we're working all week and then fucking having sex takes it out of here. That's right. You were eating Mexican food, eating ass. All this good fun stuff. You're a fucking bad motherfucker. Happy Labor Day to all you people. I hope you're with your families.

I hope you're safe. Everything's beautiful. The fucking airports empty. The fuck's in the fly. Fuck these cucks. I guess. Had a great time in Milwaukee. It was a lot of fun. The UFC was sensational. Congratulations to Betis and Duke Rufus and the king of little Milwaukee, a little Puerto Rican guy that fucked the Filipino kid up with a Korean kid up at the end. The great fights. Great city though, Milwaukee. Yeah you go to everyone every year. You know what man I was going to have like early 98 99 2000 to the club. The guy was in the outlaws or one of those fucking motorcycle bands or whatever. But he didn't want to really pay too much money and it was you know he always wanted you to go in fucking February. That's like going to hell in fucking

August. Yeah. You know it's hot enough. Now I gotta fucking go in there. But you know what man it's one of those cities that always I knew something was up and when I got there there was a bar around the corner from the club and they were telling me stories about Donny Brasco and the balasteries and all this shit how they had this. The feds took all these people were hunting this barn to put them in jail. But it never made the fucking book. The Donny Brasco book. So it was always pretty interesting to me but it's one of those neighborhoods Milwaukee. It's one of those American cities that got a lot of heart. You know you could feel the heart. You could feel they work for their fucking dollar. And I like that. I like going into a city

where you could feel they work for their dollar. That's what America is all about. They don't mind spending it but they work for it and they have a good time when they have a fucking good time. Is that near Green Bay at all or no? I think two hours an hour. You know they got a lot of great little cities. Madison they got another one up a little north more up there that I did a college once. I've never had a bad time in Wisconsin. I really haven't. The Green Bay Funny Bone years ago. Great little club too. You know I got to go to one of the games. You know in those days you had to work Sundays and that's when I used to make the best of it and credit scalp tickets. You know I was making 450 for the fucking weekend those days. That's without a plane ticket. So the

plane ticket was 200. You bought a gram of blow. You ate lunch. Boom you fucking broke you know. But you did what you did. But I really did have a good time. I'm going back with Ari April 25th next year. But that's fucking next year. But you know what something really weird happened when I was there that you never really think about. You never really think about a lot of fucking dumb shit when you were a kid. The last time we were in Milwaukee this patch of Blue Ribbon Theater is a great theater. But they have it downstairs. Okay. They're downstairs. It's a great downstairs. They do everything to accommodate you. They have co-cuts and teas and coffees and beer and light beer and fruit and salami and cheese and they got everything.

But they have games. They have like all the old 70s games like the ping ball and they have like the fucking hockey games. But the other thing they have is they have albums and a jukebox. Another jukebox but an album player. What do you call them? You know like an old school where you pick the needle up and put it on the record. Yeah. Put the needle on the record. Put the needle on the record. On the record. Anyway. Don't get me all fucking fired up on Monday. September 2nd. Shit bitches. It's over. It's the last quarter. I think I hope you motherfuckers. Take the day off today. Relax with your family. Ha ha ha. For you unemployed motherfuckers it could be a cold fucking Christmas. It starts tomorrow. So get your shit together. September 2nd.

You've been sitting there all year telling yourself I'm going to go to the Vari Institute. I'm going to go do this. Well it's fucking September 2nd. You dumb motherfuckers. You didn't even buy a book and a pencil. Not even a feather. With an ink. You know whatever the fuck these cocksuckers do. Anyway get your shit together September 2nd. I hope you don't think I fucking forgot. I got carried away here with Liam's shit. Get it together you cocksuckers. It's over. Party's over. The holidays are three fucking months away and you're still walking on. The Batman. What's his name? He's playing Batman. That's the big fucking concerning your life. You dumb stupid buck. I wake up the other morning and see a thousand people mad about

Ben Affleck playing Batman. How fucking old are you? How fucking old are you? What the fuck is wrong with you? What is going on in your fucking life that you give to a fuck who's playing Batman? And on top of that Ben Affleck is good. If you've watched Ben Affleck, if you've been following this fucking career, the last three or four movies are fucking sensational. So get it together. I don't give a fuck if Lee's played Batman at this point because I fuck. Fucking Batman. And you wonder why you're single and you're jerking off and you're fucking suck every Sunday. You're dumb motherfucker because you're still concerned with Batman. If I'm a chick and I go on a date with you and you say that, well what do you think about the new Batman choice? Right there is

where I excuse myself and go suck a real fucking Batman's dick. Fucking Batman. Get it together. Fuck. Anyway, what are we talking about? You're talking about the record player. The record player. I don't know how you made the jump. I don't know either. Lee, you're supposed to control the fucking tempo of the show. You're like Bob Coosy. You're like the white point guy when there's five or four black guys on the team. You got to control the whole fucking thing, you know what I'm saying? If not, it becomes the southern fucking thing. You ever see five black guys playing basketball? It's a fucking nightmare. They're jumping up and down. Nobody's playing defense. You need a white guy to play guard, point guard to slow these motherfuckers

down. What up? What up? We're all here. Slow down, breathe. Forget it. Rick James is dead. I don't feel so good myself. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, what was I talking about? The fucking Batman. It's all right. So the guy put on, Brogan put on, Crosby stills Nash or something. We listened to that for a while and then they were looking through shit and they found Led Zeppelin Houses of the Holy, which I got to tell you, and I never told nobody this. I had a chance in life, people. I really did have a chance before I heard that album. I was a real fucking geek. I was really scared of my own shadow. I used to hit the books. I didn't think about pussy. I had perverted thoughts. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to fuck every baby sitting in the ass and coming

their palm and all that shit. But I'm telling you my desire is it's Labor Day. I'm going to call the fucking pow wow and have a church and not drop knowledge on these motherfuckers on Labor Day. What do you think so? Coming their palm. Sure. You're coming their palm when they're sleeping. They're watching TV. They fall asleep with their hand open. You ever see a baby? They always fall asleep with their hand open. What? You don't even mean they were jacking you off? You're going to come and leave? Nah, you jerk off a little bit. When you're six, you only come a little. It's like bubble gum. Nothing. You don't even remember it. Look at Lee turning red. You're poor babies. Anyway, it's a fucking joke, Lee Coxuck anyway. But I was thinking about, what was I talking about?

I had a chance. I really did have a chance in life, guys. I really did have a chance at feeling like a cop and being like a fucking geek and having respect for society and not being a fucking animal. I really did. I'm not even joking though. I was thinking about it. I really did. I used to listen to Spanish music then. I did not like rock music. I didn't like long hair. I didn't like people with long hair. I didn't like none of that dirty shit with bell bottoms and nothing. I was a straight fucking kid. Was the stuff your mom listened to? No, my mom listened to music at the bar and, you know, she listened to the doors and all this other shit and I listened to it. But once I looked at Jim Morris, I didn't like that. I wanted to be a

fucking Marine. I wanted to fucking kill people. I wanted to go to Vietnam. That's what I was thinking about before I was 10. Fuck. Okay. I was a little street fucking savage, but in my heart I was going to Catholic school. Before I choked on none and all that, I was going to Catholic school. I went every day. I did my fucking communion. I believed, you know, I had that going on. I had the Santeria going on. I was very into it there. I did never dream of fucking smoking dope. Never fucking dreamed of doing a drug or drinking fucking alcohol. I was one of those fucking morons. I was one of those fucking kids. I played with checkers. I cursed and I fought and I went to karate, but I believed in Batman. Like I believed in being a crime fighter and not letting people

do crimes. I didn't like what went on in my mother's bar. I didn't like when my mother smoked pot. I didn't like when my mother drank. I just fucking didn't even look at it. Look at it. I lived like in hell. Like whenever she would drink, I make believe like she didn't exist. That's how fucking much of a geeky fucking person I was. And this album changing? I remember my mother smoking a cigarette once in the cab and throwing on the cab and turning it off with her foot and me praying that the cab was going to blow up. That's how much I believed in stupidity before that age, but in 1975, how did the holy came out? I think I don't know what fucking year came out. I really I discovered it when I was either about 10 or 11. And when I listened to House of the Holy,

let me tell you how fucked up House of the Holy is. House of the Holy is dancing days and whatever. And then it goes to No Quarter. Then it goes to the ocean, the song we started with. I wouldn't listen to No Quarter. Why not? Put it on. Put on No Quarter, Led Zeppelin. Okay. House of the Holy, a studio. I would not listen to it late. I wouldn't listen to the song from the beginning of Star Trek. Okay. You know that Star Trek in the beginning? I turned that shit off too. Why? Why? Just my head wasn't ready for it. Listen to that shit. You hear that? I wasn't ready for that 11. I listened to it. I'm dancing days. I hear it again and all that other shit in the ocean. And I was into the song. It made the same.

But this, I would fucking skip it. I would get up, pissed off and skip this. This is a deep fucking song. You got to smoke 92 fucking numbers a day or be an adult to listen to this shit. You can't put the song when you're 11. You've been hanging out with your buddies playing basketball, listening to kids. And you put this on. This will give you fucking heart. This is spooky shit. I don't know what that weed is, but it's good. Oh, no, I don't know. I'm telling you right now. Think about being 12. Listen to this shit. Into these drums right here. Bam. This is too much for me at 12. I shut this shit off. No. I would list the mastery out. Here it goes. What? What? I wouldn't listen to this, Lisa. Yeah, that's spooky, fucking devil music right

there. And I wouldn't even tell my friends about listening to that shit. But I knew once I heard that, that I had to be prepared. Like, right there. So I bought that. Okay. I bought houses the holy and then my friend lent me war pigs paranoid okay and once I heard paranoid I knew I had to take a hit off a joint at least one time no matter what I believed in at that time I knew that I had to go in that direction and take a little hit just a little hit just to see what was gonna happen now how but at that age like how did you know they were doing drugs like cuz they didn't have they didn't have the internet like the like the bands like how like I know when

you get older you heard the stories of the kids that went to the concert seeing them getting high on stage and then you heard they would get high on stage yeah you know you and then you heard from the hotels where they stay that you know those hotels reunion so when I got old I'm working at the shed in Van Helen stay at the Sheridan so you heard stories you heard stories and over the people over the years you know but when you went to see Led Zeppelin at the Garden 73 yeah it's not like reefer all the way to fucking Jersey that's 18,000 people puffing on fucking weed the cops didn't even fuck no I wasn't you know how

how old were you at the record it was ten no no no no I didn't even dream of fucking no at ten I was into the Mets I was into the Boston Red Sox I was into the Cincinnati Reds I believed in Santa Claus I didn't believe in doing anything bad at all I was very much into the Catholic religion more so went to Santa Maria why would not fuck around at all I had I was you know I was going to Catholic school from fucking Sunday to Thursday once I got out of Catholic school and I hit the sixth grade even the sixth grade I was a little geeky but that summer when I wanted to play hoop no the summer after that was when I

really got into how's it up by that time I got left back I was playing basketball okay let me smoke a joint from time to time and I would go in and take two hits off a joint and drink fucking soda and giggle and then go home and I wouldn't do it but then I did it more and more it went from once a month to twice a month to every other Saturday to every Saturday to every Saturday and Sunday to every Friday Saturday and Sunday and then what the fuck then you got then you lose I can't even the thought of you being like a Marine and like one of those like I just imagine like one of those 1950s dads

who's like kind of intense I was fucking really do you think you'd have killed somebody by now like cuz yeah yeah yeah yeah and it was funny that then I started loosening it up like I didn't judge as much I took the stick out of my ass I started playing with it once I started playing with the Jersey kids was when I really those Jersey little motherfuckers in my name but really I don't especially I got restless so Sabatino those little motherfuckers we would take a joint and smoke it buy it from the fucking pool hall from one of those degenerates and smoke it up in the woods and then we go back up there and

get chocolate milk and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or we'd walk to a pizza place or we used to walk to a dining back then yeah I was on Tunley Avenue and order like chili and fucking you know cheeseburg and on those days I always had cash yeah cuz my mom would give me cash but it was weird I I didn't do a drug solidly but he's great what do you mean solid and I would have been a freshman in high school like solidly was when I dropped acid or I didn't mescaline I went from smoking weed to one day I just said fuck it and I dropped it as fuck I don't see Farina and the stones and I was freaking out when

I saw all the people and but that was my first experience where I smoothed it out and after that I did at the time it was snorting that THC crystal which it was fucking angel dust no matter how the fuck I cut it's gorilla biscuits it's fucking whatever powders you know and in those days you would take it of course you ten bucks for three lines so three of us could do it so for ten bucks me you and your friend Tony you get fucking blasted for six hours one line one fucking line blasted for six hours no car no cell phone you'd have like eight bucks I have like six bucks your buddy had like ten bucks the movies was to we

had to get there and we had to eat something before you get home cuz you had to straighten up you want to see the midnight show or something I grew up but watching a lot of midnight shows are awesome awesome one of them and there was always two theaters so the one has the midnight what is it the fucking show where people dress up Rocky Horror Rocky Har on the other side had Pink Floyd live and fucking whatever Led Zeppelin the Stones tour the doors and 60 fucking eight whatever you know he just watched those things so it was different but I never I never but here's the funny thing that when Joe was on I went on first

great room and when I went downstairs Led Zeppelin house of the holy was on and I walked up to it and took it off and flipped it over and put on the side of the song is the same and going to California I don't know if it's going to California don't quote me on the the crunches on there mm-hmm and after like three songs I broke down when I picked up the album cover I broke them I started breaking down fucking inside like I was like oh my god I had this out what happened to this out so I started thinking about when I my mom died I left that album in the house when my dad locked me out that I almost left in the

house I started to get more and more pissed off then then I picked up then he had it all it was alpha alpha beta alpha beta is so they had more Led Zeppelin albums and had the alms into the outdoor which is their last album technically yeah Koda came after that but the studio album was in through the outdoor and if you take that album out the sleeve that covers the album is two pictures it's a it's a it's this picture on paper where you see like cigarettes butts and beer caps and then you flip it over and you see ashtrays and pills and booze spilled if you take a sponge and you put water on it and you

strain it and then you wet the thing down the pills come up to color and all this and they say it's the last night of John Bonham's life a lot of people don't know that it's pretty fucking heavy duty like albums meant a lot now you guys buy a CD and you open the CD and take the CD out or you download some there's really not much in the fucking CD you know there's nothing there's nothing when I was a kid you bought an album and you open the album your smoke first of all you open the album you put the weed in there you clean the weed in there you smoked and while you smoked and listen to the album playing you read the fucking

liner notes where they toured who the fucking producer was on the album the name of the titles who fucking wrote the songs who was on the studio sessions you know stupid shit you only care about when you before you start paying rent you know when you pay rent you don't care about that shit but when before you pay rent you care about that shit so it's pretty interesting that and that was the album that really fucked me up that night because that album I used to get up at six in those days you know I signed up for early classes to get the fuck out of there early yeah so the first class in North Bergen High is 730 you

could stay till 340 fuck you 10th period fuck you so I would do one to eights which is like 730 to 230 to stack up yeah and then as I stayed there long I was like out of there by 130 but I was always a 730 type of motherfucker first class 730 but I remember getting up at 545 and getting up to into the outdoor in the evening and all that album if you listen to that put find in the evening by Led Zeppelin on the beginning of that this fucking just I still remember that album coming out Eddie makes a Eddie Bravo's a kiss fan and he always was fighting for his life as a kiss fan he tells a story about you know when an

album came out in those days everybody was always hating on the album they would say fucking you know it sucked it's gonna suck I heard my cousin said he heard it and it sucks Jimmy Page is old and this album it took like two or three years for them to fucking put this out man you put it on put that motherfucker I want listen to this shit creepy out and cover so yeah very creepy guy drinking at a bar by himself oh no this one's like the mothership blimp over a fucking weird building movie theater I guess maybe this is a real album cover but okay what's funny about this is that uh this is the first song yeah so

you're also in those days it came in like a track so you had to wait till you somebody with a car into the park yeah and you put the a track in and you put it on real fucking loud and all the people sat outside the car listening waiting for this is it and there were a bunch of haters going this sucks this sucks and you're like shut up bitch put this on louder and this was Led Zeppelin when they came back in 70 fucking nine just tremendous shit you know I would play this and my mother would wake up and say you are you fucking serious and turn it in Italy are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me

and the haters would be I told you sucked and we'd be like what what this is the fucking Jimmy Page all right fast forward this this is where I far give me a minute and a half and I'll show you it's a minute and a half right now so here's me a little bit more za little back meu no forward sorry but I'll be able to see it I see this is it

This is the first solo you heard you standing like listen motherfuckers and you're like all right all right Jimmy's back and I was like fuck you and you're like listen motherfuckers listen to him right here it's all over are you fucking kidding me hit it Lee are you fucking kidding me I'm 14 are you kid you gotta fucking do some fucking heroin we waited two fucking years he can't and then they released this album they went on fucking they released tour dates we're ready to go it was saving me Lee it was saving me and John Bonham died that was the end of your dream oh that's it that's how quick it went they released this

album you were ready every city in fucking America was ready for Led Zepp on the comeback everybody was putting money away because you ever send money in those days so let's say each ticket was $30 that was a lot of money for a ticket back then you had to get your friends and send in $120 to get four tickets to be in there entering a raffle mm-hmm and then they notify you if you got the ticket by mail and then they'd send you the tickets a week before so you couldn't scalp them that's how strong Led Zeppelin was though Led Zeppelin wasn't fucking around telling you I'm dropping on you motherfuckers today

Labor Day what what's Tony Bennett what happened what happened it's Monday where you're slipping it's too in the afternoon you smoke some dope I don't respect for the motherfuckers that got your back what I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody it's Monday you filthy fucks get it together just because it's the afternoon I don't want you to think you really smoke some more dope with absolutely all right look at them all right you get that fucking email from that guy said you're slipping you get that yourself you're not even at a bulls

you're not doing jumping jumping jacks with a camera you're not doing jumping jacks no more do 10 jumping jacks I'll spark this fucking number and we'll get right look at you got your new hairdo did you shave your pubes did you trim everything down there you got it's still it's there but it's all we got the call oh shit I took the headphones off look what's up brother how you do it there he is the amazing Billy Corbin ladies and gentlemen my main man in Miami what's going on what's going on with you dog I am your number one Twitter fan you have the best Twitter feed in fucking America you're too kind

that's that's not true I don't I can live anywhere and I know up to the minute what's going on in Miami where the traffic is what bitch got stabbed who's bleeding to death who sold a half gram to the mayor of Kendall I get it all I get it all and I'm loving it you know I grew up and it's always said I'm half Cuban you know I'm all Cuban but I'm half grew up in my mind like I had uncles down there and they'll always talk to my mother about Kendall and she'll be driving the whole fucking deal so now I live in Miami vicariously through you well you know she's got so crazy in Miami we keep making the front

page of the New York Times and none of it's good news obviously the latest of course as as you well know from following my crazy Twitter feed is that we had not one not two but three mayors in South Florida arrested for corruption in 22 days last month in August I mean it's just it's all just a little bit of history repeating it's amazing I come from Hudson County New Jersey whole Boken West New York Union City in North Bergen not one mayor has just dropped out there they've all ended up in prison we Hawking my eighth grade teacher where Mayor Lindsay was the mayor of we Hawking he was an eighth grade teacher in

North Bergen how's how can you how the fuck is that go on and one day they came and arrested that motherfucking game 11 years so the East Coast will always be the East Coast brother he if you ever go to you ever say a picture in New York City that's taken from Jersey and it's called the waterfront it's in we Hawking New Jersey it's West New York and then it becomes North Bergen that was big property when I was a kid that's where the future lay and it is true now they have a ferry there they have hotels they have a hospital they have a CBY front and everything's infested with fucking rats but they don't give a fuck they had

to do it's the Hudson River we think lives in the Hudson River what the fuck eat that we think it's beautiful you think sully really landed a fucking plane he landed on fucking a foam that waters foam that's Puerto Rican blood and fucking snake ails and bodies I could I could walk directly across the Hudson on the backs of dead hookers yes yes you can cross on fucking rocks like those alligator guys so that that that East Coast corruption people have no idea like I have you know what man I have a felony Billy but way before that when I was a kid I saw behind the curtain once you see behind the curtain as a kid you

can't repair that so I saw my mom paying off cops I yeah I saw the mayors that you know the people that you had to you have to kiss their ass and every four years you got a job if you didn't kiss their ass you didn't get a job if he loses you you lost your job you know I grew up in that it's very hard you know you're down there where like you said that whole fucking city was financed on blow well that was another incredible story this week well first I got to tell you that New Jersey Louisiana Illinois nobody's got nothing on Florida from 2000 to 2010 so the first decade of the Millennium Florida was number one in

corruption convictions for public officials we had 781 public officials that's just convicted okay so forget accused or charged but just convicted public officials in the state of Florida 781 in the first decade I mean that's just it's off the charts here and and you know what we're experiencing this again with like it's cocaine Cowboys 2013 down here with this real estate situation last year actually last year in the first part of this year we've got 73% of condo sales are cash transactions with 90% foreign buyers sound familiar I mean holy shit I mean and what's funny is that you know we

led the charge back in the day you know those those financial disclosure forms that you got to fill out if you're gonna deposit $10,000 cash or more at the bank like all of a sudden red flags go off you have $10,000 cash you got to fill out all these forms you must be a criminal you know you're basically guilty until proven innocent that that's clean money so we actually I mean it's really Miami of all places that led to that kind of financial disclosure reform but what's funny is that here we are 30 years later and the loopholes you could drive a friggin Mack truck through them because if it's not actual cash meaning

hard currency so if you're not showing up with a duffel bag full of cash there is no disclosure meaning you can wire transfer six figures or more from South America which is what they're doing for these condos down here and you don't have to disclose there's no tracing of that there's no disclosure of that they're the developers and the real estate brokers they're just taking that money now listen it's not all dirty money obviously but but what percentage of that I mean you're talking about this isn't a boom down here this is a bubble and and you know when it goes burst down here it goes burst in a big way that's

it does man that's fucking scary that is just now let me tell you something the reason why I've been thinking of you for the last week was one day I just read your tweets and it was like a day of horror down there it was that's what it in the back of my mind I'm like is this fucking Halloween like there was a bust somebody got shot somebody hit an alligator on the fucking whatever I mean that's your next documentary well you know day in the fucking life in South Florida is it's just too much it is too much you get a little exhausting after all like I get kind of depressed trying to just maintain my own Twitter

feed you know because it's all it's all bad news it seems but it's kind of it's kind of that pace and that a reverence that makes living here so exciting because I don't know that I could live any place you know homogenized or boring and like I go to I go to like Naples on the west coast of Florida where I'm a breaker and it's too white there's just too many white people you know it's no it's it's fucking boring too it's like 1920 on those sides and it's beautiful and the people are very nice and all but you're like what you're just sitting there waiting for something to happen

demographically it's like someone took a picture of Miami and you're looking at the negatives you know like everything's just all-inverting it's like quick we're gonna get some you know some ethical leche and some plantains and some you know Roscoe portfolio I can't even I can't deal with all these all these white people and what's it like what happened today down there what's the big news down there behind the mayor or a cop that got shot in the foot or one of the fucking dolphins is already in trouble I mean it never we got serious problems in the city of Miami Beach that's where our office is but I mean

we you know for four years now there's been a police department that's been completely out of control there's a new chief thankfully for for almost two years now and he's trying to clean it up but it's tough because those things are up you're kind of controlled from the bottom up you know you have a culture at the street level that's a little bit difficult to overcome by the top brass and and he's trying on he's doing a pretty good job of it but you know I don't even remember 2011 Memorial Day weekend down here has become like the hip hop it's like freaking it is what it is or you know freaking Atlanta black

spring break in Daytona Memorial Day weekend has become what they call it urban beach weekend and this is like a viral phenomenon that started 10 years ago or session about 13 years ago and it was on like hip hop radio stations everybody just decided Joe we're going to South Beach for Memorial Day weekend and it's been a tradition on but but it's kind of taken this little you know Miami Beach is a famous sexy internationally known destination but it's a tiny little town you know it really is it's it's it's a barrier island on it's it's really only the whole city is all of 70 blocks South Beach

itself is only about you know 15 to 22 blocks but it's it's this huge influx of people and it scared the business owners and the police and the politicos for a little while then they started to try to kind of get things under control but then in 2011 you had City of Miami Beach and Hialeah police who you probably remember Hialeah from your days down down here Hialeah was famous for having a mayor convicted of corruption and reelected mayor again when he ran when he ran for mayor the people reelected him despite his conviction on corruption charges so they they hire other police because Miami

Beach a crazy place Miami Dade is that is the name of the county they actually changed the name was called Metro Dade County and they changed the name in the mid 90s so that they could adopt the name of the most famous city in the county so it would be a more sexy destination so they call it Miami Dade and we have 35 I think different municipalities in Miami Dade so there's like 35 different mayors of different you know villages townships cities within the county and so they they they call on all of them to pull police into Miami Beach from Memorial Day Bourbon Beach weekend and what happened in 2011 is

police opened fire they shot I think over 130 rounds at a stopped car they not only hit the passenger about 13 times and killed him but they shot four bystanders who were just walking by those then they started to the police started to grab people's cell phone cameras and destroy them in the street they even harassed an ABC a local ABC affiliate cameraman who was out there filming they detained him it was just like chaos and they shot this guy it was the video is on YouTube it's pretty crazy and for the last two years there's been this lawsuit and the city has basically been trying to cover up what

really happened there and that same summer you had a cop who was on duty outside of his patrol area by about like 30 40 50 blocks he was drinking at the famous Clevelander Hotel on Ocean Drive at a bachelorette party where he posed for pictures in his uniform drinking on duty outside of his patrol area he asked the girl in the bachelorette party hey you want to go for a ride on my ATV he takes her out on the beach with his drunk girl he's drunk his lights are off on the ATV he's speeding going god only knows how fast he hits two tourists lying in the sand this is this is kind of par for the course in the city of Miami

Beach I tell everybody like they were talking about boycotting Florida after that you know the George Zimmerman verdict I say don't boycott Florida boy caught Miami Beach I mean it is it is dangerous down here and it's not necessarily the criminals that you have to be afraid of it's the police that's his so two guys laying on the beach and the cop runs over from when they TV yeah the police the police use tourists his speed bumps here in Miami Beach that's fucking crazy and it's not listen bro Miami's been like that since you know it's always had this I remember growing up in New York and going to Miami and

going Jesus fucking Christ like it's always had that air of I don't know what makes people crazy and the politicians I know what makes them crazy the pussy hey you know Miami put a taste that salty fucking monk wall and they go crazy those motherfuckers it's the money you know that's the reason people see gangster movies you think like Donnie Brasco and things like that when they talk about the guys in New York you know the organized crime was literally organized there was a structure there was a code there were ethics so to speak among criminals Miami was always treated as this wide open kind of town and it's

exactly what Tony Montana describes it as in Scarface it's just this you know it's great you know pussy about what a what a wide open town Miami is and and that's it's always been that way there's it's never been anybody's territory it's always been neutral and it's always been the kind of place that attracts really compelling characters I mean Al Capone died down here in his house on Paul Myland in Miami Beach Myer Lansky ran you know sort of the last gasp of that era of the Italian mob you ran it from Miami Beach used to walk his dog up and down Collins Avenue he tried remember he tried to get to Israel so from here you

know so they wouldn't they wouldn't prosecute him and I mean it's always had that kind of I will let's my children look the famous line the great thing about Miami is it's so close to the United States it really is it's it's like another fucking dimension down there it's something and you cannot I'm being a kid and I think I wrote this as a blog about going down there after my mom died like I hadn't been down there from like 77 maybe or 76 and I stopped going down and I became a man and I went back down there in 84 and it was a different fucking world and there was this guy that I would always come to my house with

his wife and his kids and they play with us and he was a bar owner well at this time now this guy was a millionaire he had a furniture company but I think he was dabbling and blow I think I don't know if I told destroy the testicle he I went over as he I kept saying I want to stay at a hotel and he kept making saying no no stay at my house we'll drink a little bit my sons are there and I can notice that nobody wanted a party with the guy like this guy's got an ounce of blow he's 50 something years old his two kids are 20 I'm 18 19 and he's like go get the kids tell them we're gonna cut up some

fucking coke here the kids like now I'm out I'm like this is weird find the guy comes out with a bikini on like a bathing suit and a fucking gun and he's paranoid and he's walking with he was he just doing blow was he free-basing me and him were doing blow his wife was sleeping the kids are sleeping and I've known him since I was a kid he was he grew up at my father in Cuba his friends with my mom my mom's and after my mom died I went down there to see him and I told him you know I need to make money I'm broke he goes well listen wait I'll give you a couple fucking ounces and you take them up and you sell them and you

make some money and you give me the money and we'll keep doing it you could fly down in those days you could fly back and forth with blow on eastern airlines and all those that they they fucking knew they didn't give a fuck even People's Express had a flight they had a $69 flight to Miami but after midnight it was 2995 what a fucking thing you got on that fucking plane with I'm gonna be in at bars and go and they flew out out of Newark every hour on the hour so you knew if you ran out of coke in Jersey you could always go to Miami on the fucking midnight flight this is Miami cocaine was like girl scout

cookie this was crazy this was young entrepreneur to get to break his way in and I'm sitting there and at the time Billy I was doing blow but I wasn't up to the paranoia state of it it comes after a few years I was still under the illusion that everything was beautiful and it was like ecstasy you're hugging people and you're jumping up and down listening to Madonna music that addiction becomes something else and it becomes like you you got a gram in your car and you're driving home and also you go to liquor store to get booze you might even not even be drinking there's a cop parked there that cop that cop car parked

there will go into your psyche and then when you go home you get paranoid and that's a different level of it and this guy was so paranoid he was crawling on the floors looking outside his windows and I'm like what the fuck are you looking at and I would look out the window and there'd be nothing then I'm like are you fucking crazy and finally he runs into the kitchen the gun goes off and he shoots himself in the foot oh my god and I'm running around crazy I'm pale I'm scared I walk over and the kids like what happened to shoot himself like he had done this a couple times already the kids like no no don't call the ambulance

we'll call the doctor down the corner the doctor shows up 10 minutes later with a bucket filled the show he shot himself again which foot was it your fucking dummy economic impact though what you're talking about I mean some dude who came out for example he wasn't even selling some guy just wanted to come out for a night and help unload you know a ship a boat a plane Mickey Monday and cocaine cowboys he'd pay those guys about five grand a night cash you could do that once a month or so and they talk about five grand a month cash okay under the table unreported no tax okay multiply that by 12 all right you got 60

grand a year you got guys this is back in the early 80s they were making 15 grand a year in their legitimate business or maybe 20 if they were really doing well but now you've got $60,000 from this is a kind of a low end of a totem pole he's not really in the swiveling business he just knows a guy wants to make a few extra bucks so he helps you know he's the blonde he helps unload you know a shipment but like that's the kind of money so what you could do with a couple ounces as a kid I just what the impact the lasting impact on our economy is extraordinary that's when cocaine was at the high level

that's when stock brokers that's what they talk about it was 1800 an ounce in New York City but if you went to Miami you could pick it up for nine but you just had to bring it back up to New York and a lot a lot a lot of people were scared that everybody was doing it you just had to have a system and you had to be you know you couldn't go on there with a beard thinking you were Tony Montana gonna pull you over but if he went with your little University of Michigan bag and your little stupid look on your face you could push six eight ounces move for and keep for and sling them and you could do that once a month

that's a that's a gold mine those fucking days well that's what that's what led to the the violence here is that you know at first the Colombians were selling kilos to Cubans and whoever else was willing to smuggle them into the United States always and you're usually into Miami in the late 70s you could get a kilo or per kilo on an airstrip in Colombia for five ten grand and then you got to Miami and you're selling it flipping it for 50 grand so the Colombians realize that you know this is the risk of the smuggle is what creates the enhanced value so they started working with contractors

essentially on transportation and setting up their own you know their own own people in the United States to receive it and that's when shit started getting crazy on the violence side but that's when the Colombians started to make you know that's what comes to a multi-billion dollar multinational corporation and that's when when the bloodshed started but this route you know Miami to New York has always been a very prominent and continues to be I mean I remember a kid in bed you know in the 90s and the early zeros ecstasy was huge I think particularly from like Israel like you have these hafiz who

were taking these flights right from like Miami to JFK you know into the Eastern District of New York and that route commercially like you were talking about back in the day you want Eastern Airlines which I remember very well but back in the day you know with the cocaine people were doing that with you know Israelis and the Jews were doing that from Miami to JFK and of course you have this this latest this terrible story I'm sure you're aware of it at electric zoo the kids who died overdosing on on Molly one of the girls apparently her allegedly reportedly did six six pills she took for crying out

loud it's like it's it's no wonder she died you know it's it's and everybody's kind of the sympathy is kind of shifted everybody's like this the send seems to be on social media that this girl's an idiot you should kind of shit on everybody's parade because now EDM music and these electronic music festivals are gonna get a black eye from this when it was one stupid girl seems to be the seems to be the consensus now when did she fucking eat six Molly's and electric zoo in New York over the weekend I'm fucking but don't they know that they're fucking heart sizzles just to eat alone sizzles your fucking heart when they

take it out of school knows yeah and how the hell do they know what they're eating they're buying it from some dude and someone hands them a bill who the hell knows you take one who knows what you're taking what she took six is what she told the EMT before she died yeah and so they canceled the last day they canceled Sunday of electric zoo they had a bunch of huge DJs who didn't get to perform because they had not one but two deaths and I think another three or four people who overdosed on allegedly on Molly now what's the drug of choice in Miami now all of them all of them bath salts really no no I'm just kidding

bath salts isn't isn't a real thing unnecessarily it's certainly not any kind of a of an epidemic or anything like that but obviously marijuana is a perennial you know it continues to be our biggest cash crop after oranges in the state of Florida it's a shame that we don't have some kind of reasonable you know medicinal marijuana policy or nothing nothing nothing nobody's trying to legalize it down and up with all the fucking old people down there you figure that's the spot down there oh absolutely in fact Robert Blackshorn I don't know if you ever saw our our movie square grouper the godfathers of Donja no no no

no yeah it's kind of a prequel an unofficial prequel the cocaine cowboys it's streaming on Netflix and it's on showtime sometimes too it's about the near the pot hole in trade in Miami in the 70s before you know shit hit the fan and things got that serious and violent with the marijuana and I am with cocaine rather and one of the stories we tell is about the black tuna gang and this guy Robert Blackshorn who smuggled a few hundred pounds of marijuana but he wound up you know really in the wrong place at the wrong time when the federal government was trying to make examples out of marijuana smugglers and he wound

up the longest serving nonviolent marijuana prisoner in American history and he did almost 30 years on just a pot smuggling beef and he actually has this this awesome organization down here in Florida where he is of course a senior citizen now he goes around to other senior citizen homes and facilities and tries to you know kind of rally them behind medicinal marijuana you know for cancer and glaucoma and he has speakers who come around and and talk about its positive effect and and I think Comedy Central actually did a story I did a story about him and his is that was on the Daily Show or called there

and and it's just tremendous as he's trying to rally as you said the elderly population also are the biggest you know group of voters that we have in terms of mobilization at election time and so he's trying to rally them in this organization to to to move you know get medicinal marijuana legalized but really most just need a sensible policy on marijuana I mean just the way we handle it in this country is completely it's insane I mean it's and it's it's I think it's safe to say I mean at least the last person we had the founding fathers were all like hemp growers to start with and we have at least the last

three presidents all did marijuana if not cocaine if not if not anything else that you know under the sun and and I think it's time to start saying that that you need to need to be smart about this now you've never smoked pot correct never can you believe it and you don't have any desire to smoke it I don't you know it's crazy I I grew up in Miami I grew up I went to an arts high school where I mean kids were doing everything this was the mid 90s so kids were doing ecstasy there were the second Alex were back they were also dropping acid and doing shrooms and and they were coke not so much because you know

Rocha broke high school kids but smoking weed like daily and then I went to the University of Miami after that and somehow never other than other than alcohol which I started drinking when I turned 21 insanely looking back I don't really know how it happened it just kind of I became famous I think among my group of friends among my circle for being the kid who when you're chilling at somebody's house on the weekend you they cast the joint over me or behind me or around me because they knew I didn't I didn't do it eventually they respected me for choosing to say no just as I respected them for making a choice

to a smoke I didn't judge them they didn't judge me and somehow I got to this point where yeah I got the point where I'm 35 now and I'm like what am I gonna do I'm gonna I'm gonna start now it's almost become a novelty that I don't do it you know no I don't do it now no if you haven't done it no no no it has become a novelty it has become too you know I've been doing it I did it for other reasons and at the end of the day the reasons were probably medicinal I liked him when I was a kid because I couldn't sleep I knew if I had reef right now I could sleep now when I got locked up I learned that I could fall

asleep without the reef or eventually you got to do a 20,000 more fucking jumping Jackson you would usually do and that's when it broke a little bit but today I smoke it and it calms me down it lets me read at night it lets me rap a little bit and it really does calm me the fuck down my mind is always going you know so but I appreciate that you're not judgmental about you think they should pass in Florida I think at this point you should fucking pass in Florida well you know my bottom line is is that there's there's very few things that the government is good at very few things and they should stick to those

things you know they got they draw lines on the street they they make the lights go red and green they provide for the national defense you know that there's certain social services that I think are integral in a in a wealthy and civilized society you know you should take care of your elderly and infirm in a country like like America but beyond that I want them to stay out of my business and if I want them to stay out of my business that means I want them to stay out of your business too so whatever you choose to do as a you know rational responsible adult that doesn't infringe upon the rights of

other people then what the hell do I care you know what you're doing to your body or whether you're taking a plant that grows out of the ground that's less dangerous than poison ivy I think a shout out poison ivy how dangerous is that you know and and and I mean took six six mollies this girl took I mean if she had just smoked weed all day long the worst damage she would do is a taco bell later that night you know what I mean like I just don't see why we should spend you know we should spend and this is something where I think the left and the right can join together on because why should we spend all this

money in prisoning generations of Americans for not doing anything I mean we got this problem this is a huge story on in Miami in August Florida okay has been releasing sex offenders back onto the streets and they have anywhere from a one day to several months after their release are victimizing women and children again I mean like and we're doing this hundreds and hundreds of these people we had this Jimmy Rice law this past but it's a word I'm thinking like wait a second what the hell are we doing with with weed when we've got we've got you know sex offenders who are releasing out onto the streets who are

victimizing children again but where our priorities is a as a civilization I mean they somehow got lost along the way that sex offenders should is fucked up ain't it they got a knock on your door and tell you they're back it's fucking crazy at the coffee shop where I drink coffee and hang out the other day there was a poster I was looking at the poster I'm I just look at it and there was a poster the guy who said my name is what's his name I frequent here I just came out of jail for two and a half years like and people were signing it I'm like what the fuck is this listen people make mistakes I just feel that they should

monitor these guys a little closely if they're that fucking sick you know well yeah I mean I don't know what the what the recidivism rate is I do know that you have what they call these Romeo and Juliet situations you know where some guy is not is 19 or 20 years old and he had a girlfriend that was 16 you know that he's known since school or whatever or you have these situations that are kind of tragic and then these guys are kind of branded with the scarlet letter of sex offender for the rest of their lives but yeah you know so obviously you know we need a sensible policy with that but we've got a situation here in

Florida where it's just like you know we're building we're not building schools we're building prisons we're locking up nonviolent offenders for mandatory minimum sentences and then we're taking these violent sex offenders and going okay you did your time back out on the street with you and they're victimizing children again I mean that's if like I said certain priorities as a as a as a civilized society should be you know you protect your weak you're infirm you protect those who can't protect themselves you know and Florida we do a real shit job of it I mean the Department of Children and Families they

lost what is it like they've lost over 10 kids this year alone that they were supposed to be responsible for we've got people of the Miami-Dade in the psychiatric ward of the Miami-Dade jail who have been dying at an alarming rate this year we've got people we've got the assisted living facilities here where we put our elderly where they're literally being abused neglected starved to death it's like if we as a as a people are not going to take care of of children you know the mentally infirm and and our elderly but what the hell what the hell are we doing you know we have to look at ourselves and say these are exactly the

kinds of people we should be helping and and spent and our veterans too I mean what we do for we send them off we seem to have plenty of money to send them off to war but when they come home we nickel and dime of the debt they nickel and dime those poor guys to fucking debt to veterans it's despicable I mean we can send them to war but we can't help them when they come home we can't help them get jobs we can't help them fight depression I mean the suicide rate is now leading to more military deaths I think then you know then then on the battlefield right now and I mean this is this these are the people who who we is

these are the people we should care about and spend money on and be concerned about you know not this not this marijuana garbage let me ask you something I never say this to a lot of people have you ever had political aspirations and I tell you this because you're the first person I've met in 20 years that really cares you genuine give a fuck when I when I said that to you earlier about Miami I was breaking your balls I see where your tweets are going I see where they're going so you should really somewhere you really care about the people well I think that's the problem if you really care

about the people politics is one of the worst things that you can do to to make a difference I think and I think you're right I mean that's very perceptive of you because a lot of people think that they're calling me out and talk shit about my tweets because they think that I'm just talking trash or shitting on Miami no no no I see it for what it is I see it for that you are you know Billy at this society I gotta tell you I have felonies and I always want to coach and take it to the next level I just feel that people when I applied for something like that they wouldn't take it the way I'm taking it and I gotta tell you I

would really make a difference you know if you gave me five kids and let me coach them from the sixth to the eighth grade I guarantee by the time with a fresh one of them would be a good basketball player but they would all be pretty solid kids just because while I was coaching them I dropped a little fucking knowledge on them that maybe they never heard before you know when it comes to ex felonies and stuff like that Billy here's the problem I got I was an ex felon I fucking love animals I love fucking animals but how can I sit here and talk shit about Michael Vick society gave me a second chance I did

something with it you follow me so I don't understand how a person who's been to prison the same prisons I went to and made hurt the same people around because I got convicted of kidnapping and it started off as a violent crime my attorney negotiated down to non-violence I never had non-violence in my record and there was no proof my fingerprints were on the weapons and blah blah blah but a lot of shit could have gone wrong but I always give a second chance even to a fucking sex offender even if I know he's a creepy motherfucker he's only going to a tree with a fucking football helmet on the bag M&Ms because you know those

motherfuckers but in my heart I always I always give them the benefit of doubt I don't know why recidivism is fucking horrible because society will make you fucking go bananas are you there Billy I'm here I think that well first of all I think that you said I don't know how many parents would want their kids mentored by a felon but truth be told you know scaring kids straight these days might be the only way to get through to them hey look what else is going on in Miami with your boy fucking Luke look what he's doing with that football program down there I watched on HBO and they kept trying to kick him in the balls and

some guy still says he didn't change and that he's still misogynistic and whatever you got to give people a chance sometimes in life look what he's doing the proof is look at Snoop Dogg out here what he's doing with these football fucking kids you know he puts that money out of his pocket he knows what it is to want to play football and only have one fucking cleat you know I mean oh Lee you're right you got to see the least I had he smokes him dope before the show he's breathing heavy into the mic he's all fucked up sorry about that Billy go ahead Luke Luke that's his passion you know he's been involved in

the TV football you know it down here in Miami for as long as he's been famous and that's been a passion of his and he is has mentored and been a part of the lives of young kids who have gone on to play in the NFL and and and yeah if people had had cast some sort of aspersions or judgments on him oh he's the he's the obscene lyrics guy then it would deprive the kids of an extraordinary opportunity to be mentored by a guy who really does give a shit and that's the thing is that you have real knowledge you have real life experience I always say that said this about my college professors you always

ask just you're paying all this money for these classes to be taught by these people and you'll have to wonder to yourself who the hell of these people to teach me something what is their experience what what is their what what knowledge do they have that they didn't get from reading a book because I can read a book I don't need them to read a book to me or to teach me out of a book I want to know what they've been through what they've experienced and how I can learn from their mistakes and then go on to make my own mistakes so I don't have to duplicate theirs and I think that's that's the other problem here

with and that's what we do with our politicians we expect them all to be squeaky clean and then we're and then we're shocked when they when they send pictures of their of their junk to girls it's like what about the guy in that freak who just won't even let him in he's such a fucking freak they made a video about him right they made I don't know if you're following this thing in San Diego I mean they're now they're voting for him to get a mom they want him to go to rehab for sex but the best is the women who put the video tape together of all of them telling their story and they cut it like and the one

lady say he hugged me he grabbed my tit he grabbed my ass he choked me and the one girl goes he slobbered on me that was the fucking classic right there he grabbed their and ruled on it was some shit this guy have you seen the mayor of San Diego you could tell he's a fucking freak he'll put fingers up his ass stabbed the Mexican fucking house he don't give a fuck tie him up hit his nuts with a hammer he don't give a fuck he's in he'll give you the keys to the city you dirty bitch it's like it's like he never met a woman that he didn't sexually harass this guy and and they are young women they're like there's

like a great grandma in the mix there he's like he doesn't discriminate I mean this guy's taste is like just women period he would harass them and he finally did resign but of course there's all kinds of all kinds of deals that got made and he probably got they had to pay him off just to get him the hell out of there he was actually holding out his resignation as leverage against that that's how little this guy cared about the people and cared about the city he basically he wanted them to pay to defend him in these lawsuits against this woman the city I mean she said absolutely just outrage it violates the

public trust and then once the public the taxpayers to keep paying for his screw ups and this is what this happens time and again and this is biggest problem is that nobody's incentivized because everybody's negotiating with somebody else's money you know you have these politicians doing deals and it's not their money it's our money so they don't give a shit if it means them getting reelected to satisfy a union or to satisfy their friends who help them get elected in the first place they don't care they'll give our money to anyone and they have these confidential settlements you know with a guy like

this where the people never even find out what happened with our money because it's part of a you know it's part of this deal that they did with this guy but it's our money how could that even be acceptable and finally he quit but it cost it's probably going to continue to cost the people of San Diego a lot of money for this stuff back well listen whenever you run for whatever I would buy a house in Miami I will pay taxes and I will be right there with you because you really care for those fucking people down there you don't care about color race you could probably clean that fucking armpit up down there

and I say this in the bottom because I love it you know my roots are down there I have family down there still but there's some parts that say they're beautiful and there's some parts that just become a fucking you know and I know that you would make a fucking big difference down there man well listen you know I get a little emotional I get even a little we'll say cheesy about it but you know my my passion is this is where I come from you know this is my home and and I know people feel that way wherever they come from you know and and whether it's a backwards place like Miami or New York or wherever you come

from you have an attachment to it and I do and I have a real passion for it and I've always said I really it's my dream or my wish at least that I would leave behind a better Florida or a better Miami than the one that I was born into and that's that's become real tough I mean in this country in general I mean we're seeing the first generation where the American dream is is dead where the idea that your children will have a better life than the one that you had which is really the American dream that's kind of its coalesced where that's not a reality anymore and that's really sad and and and when you see three

mayors getting arrested in in your in your town in in 22 days in 2013 you know it's disheartening and I would love to be able to do something where I can make a difference and what's funny is that I feel like and and I love that you get it because I think a lot of people don't get it but I love that you get it that like you know it's like that that line you know the Jeff Ross and you only roast the ones we love and that's why if I didn't give a shit about Miami what would I tweet all that stuff for you know what I mean if I if I if I just wanted to talk shit and I didn't care what why would I I feel like we need to know

what's wrong so that we can fix it and and and we need to call ourselves out what do I always say I said this is a town that needs tough love you know and it's healthy every once in a while so you know to hold up a mirror to yourself and as we all know in the 80s a lot of people held mirrors up to their faces in Florida we know we know that for sure I was one of them in the 80s 90s in the beginning of 2000 I love you I was gonna go down there Christmas weekend but I my plans got changed I'll be done in April and we'll get together for luncheon and I will talk before then brother anytime love you go love you man

thank you very much where can they find you on Twitter my friend what is it Billy what's your Twitter handle for these people oh yes Billy Corbin C-O-R-B-E-N not Billy Corbin not the guy from from Smashing Pumpkins but Billy Corbin C-O-R-B-E-N all right I love you stay beautiful and Jewish thank you for having me always I guys are fucking genius he's great fucking geniuses I'm gonna give some shout-outs my man Luke my girl Kosin and Cole in their three-year Matt Lane water boxer with his fucking company campcourt.com they make like microphones and shit he's a general manager my my black Prince fucking Royale I'm gonna

manage this case I'm gonna be a star the DC came to the show with his fucking father and my man Larry in Vegas you know I love you cocksuckers and something else I gotta tell you what my talk my toe is perfect you know why I took the strong bone I put used it as a fucking stilt and put tape around it and it went through the toe right into the bone guess what the strong bone ain't there became my fucking toe bone oh shit if you broke something he's part on get your fucking thing now go to honor calm cut the shit I just ate one of those hem forces when I came in that was fucking starving I'm back I'm beautiful

everything's alright I drank some water I gotta die fucking Pepsi we got some reefer you know start off this is the last quarter of the year this is it this is it this we got to be a peak you know maybe you one of those marathon motherfuckers that starts off slow and he's half retarded till like the last part and then he kills them at the end he runs like a fucking cop is chasing you this is it this is the time of year we got to be sharp we're gonna end off big we're gonna put out a CD on the 24th we're doing a podcast that week what we're traveling with this thing you know the podcast is making strides we got

shit crack a lacking we got the movie October 11th we got the other movie coming out December 25th we ain't fucking around here people let's say no game here but to stay sharp don't fucking ask questions you gotta do your alpha brain you gotta do your fucking shunt tech if you're gonna work out so you get some man I'm gonna get you to an eight o'clock tonight you got to stay fucking strong people that's all I'm trying to say I'm a fat fuck but at least I try that's all you can fucking do in this life that's all we want from you go to on it go to the box or to something pressing church bang oh shit

10% off you got on the mailing list and only for minerals and vitamins forget about lifting weights and jumping ropes let's just take your fucking vitamins it's picking up a piece of paper every day if you see litter you want to be a better person pick up a fucking piece of paper yesterday at the airport I picked up a three pieces of paper so fucking pissed off let me tell you what else I've been looking at and I've been using I use that razor from dollars shave clear smooth that's a fucking good deal guys the six dollar package is a great deal they got a dollar package you get the razor the six dollar package is for

fucking blades or something with the fucking aloe and it's his and hers so she could shave a monkey you could shave her ass oh it's fucking beautiful you ever shave your chicks fucking monkey and have you too scared you just shave it slow with the hot fucking I don't try to get that you get the hands you get the shaving cream you make a nice and hot you don't put shaving cream on her ass or burns you'll never hear the end of it you know what I'm saying shave the little mungua you leave a little heart on there like a fucking designer go to dollarshaveclub.com what is it for oh dollarshaveclub.com slash

church so dollarshaveclub go to the box press church and what do you get you get you just it's it's really just a way to support this podcast and then we're gonna help you out and what do you get they get a dollar package with a dollar a month yeah and you got two raises a month or something no it's the dollar one is you still get four blades four blades but it's two two blade razors six dollar a month is four blade razor no three blade razors and nine dollars a month is four blade razors they have a hundred and eight dollars seventy two dollars and twelve dollars get the seventy two you're right in the middle

plus she could shave her asshole and everybody's fucking happy where they go only they're going to dollarshaveclub.com you gotta be quick it's not inhaling you're not stuck in two fucking joints this one's saying you're slipping dollarshaveclub is a great fucking deal and let me tell you something this shit's gonna run out pretty soon the Hulu thing it's gonna fucking run out and then you're gonna call me Joey how come my man I got my cable so the fuck you you should have got the Hulu dot com what Hulu plus dot com slash Joey you put Joey J-O-E-Y two weeks gratis and then after that is seven ninety five a

month that's right seven ninety five a month that's right seven ninety five a month that's eight dollars that's what is that Lee that's eighty that's eighty ninety six dollars a year you get fucking TV shows old shows new shows it's a fucking amazing that's how we do it here dollarshaveclub dollar six dollars nine dollars bam go to the box splash Joey no no for it's for dollarshaveclub it's church you're confusing me you're confusing me don't make me get up and burn in the eye with his e-cigarette what kind of fucking weed did you bring today I brought the weed of death what I usually carry with me what do you think I'm

from okie dope motherfucker talking about oh I suck a lot of weed and he shows up with this fucking Malukia weed fuck this show up I'm killing everybody if not why show up what else dog we're having a good fucking week yeah we got live pocket anyway I don't want to talk about that shit the live podcast last week was sensational if you listen to it or not with Nick tutorial that's a funny motherfucker we had a good time we were stoned he puked here Chibo chew guys like edibles cute the potato chips you see nothing what was that white shit on the floor what was that it was huge but what wasn't that pure what did you eat

sandwich disgusting I brought I was so I was so fucking 711 sandwich no I made a sandwich I get an asshole my kind of sandwich I am sandwich because you know what kind of ham did you get the borscht did you get the borscht yeah lie to me you slice it thin I I didn't tell the guy what to do I just got the slice it then because in the sandwich you put the cheese in there yeah yeah but you told me you you put a picture up of the Chibichu guys who were amazing and some for some reason gave you about 4,000 Chibichu's that's right so I you told me that night you're like you better you better get ready so

I was making lunch on Wednesday and I thought I better pack a sandwich no like the food you I don't think you even said hi to me like shoved half a rapper of Chibichu in my face and I love it man but you gave me a lot and I just I took it in and it wasn't torture me with this fucking you brought I didn't bring it up you taught me now you want to cry and protect yourself he took a little piece he chewed it a quarter way he stuck it wasn't a quarter even it was too good you gave me a half of a quarter baby piece it was most you guys will rub on your dick rub your ass would then eat it with a smile on your face this fucking

guy tasted right away he went sour you like a little kid makes a face and he stuff he's forced himself he's like and I let him go that night because there was people there if we were alone I would have kicked him in the fucking kidney made him get up and lick it like the fucking security guard on sleepers because I'm a communist cocksucker you can't be doing that shit no more what they want a poppin edibles is six in the morning give a fuck about your job it's over we're gonna pop a quartet she bought you like soldiers unbelievable gotta get it together you know it's sick and then you're trying to lie to me I

try I try to bring a drink but you're like no drinks motherfucker just eat it eat and shut up and what's he did because he drank I listen I know this guy you gotta see you don't understand he double dabbles with the people he takes the thing pushing a each one little piece and then he said he drinks water and he does something with his fucking hand like a retarded fucking 8 I went to the zoo today what a fucking waste of time the LA zoo is he takes his own shit and he rubs it he breaks like a fucking retard instead of taking a thing eating it chewing it and then twirling it leaving some of his mouth

washing that down with water that's how you do it he plays with it I went to the LA zoo today what a fucking waste is all of us first off what is wrong with society everybody's in the mood to walk if I'm paying you I don't want to walk I want the animals right there to walk up a hill behind I thought I was on the set of fucking Rambo to one minute you headed to India the next man I'm headed to fucking Cambodia there's fucking I paid 18 bucks I saw three fucking zebras that didn't move didn't move they stood there I think they're fake I think about it I think those cock suckers are fake and ate that wouldn't look at us get turned

around looking up at the fucking sky like that the the Syrians are dropping a bomb I saw a fucking no Tigers I saw a leopard that was sleeping all I saw was fucking pause I think they were fake fucking pause they forget this Hollywood these these people are like oh he's sleeping he's sleeping that's a fucking those are fake legs I saw some half a pig I saw some ugly fucking boats 18 dollars I paid 450 for a Gatorade my fury went for it was a hundred degrees up in that motherfucker yeah me and my wife went at a quarter to 11 by quarter to the baby's like let's get the fuck out of my wife's like let's stop and eat

lunch so we fed the baby we were melting I had a white t-shirt on it was melting it was like a fucking puddle yeah that's how hot it was at that fucking la zoo today 18 fucking dollars to walk around for four fucking animals I ain't going to do that's the second time we went like two three years ago on Christmas week she has the week off let's go to the fucking zoo and that time I realized this is a lot of fucking walking for animals when you get to the cage and there's no fucking animals that really pisses me off and all the cages stunk bad like all of them what the fuck no don't clean that

shit I don't want to smell I just paid 18 dollars I'm not here in a fucking welfare plan like what a bus and a free salami sandwich with a hand up I paid 18 fucking dollars and so did the guy next to me clean the fucking cage the only place that had a great the only great thing was the elephant they had a male elephant from China yeah and two females in the back and the male was like 60 yards away and the chick was right there she was explaining that in China the males have tusks and the females don't but all over the world something like that that they all have fucking tusks but in China

only the males have tusks so that was interesting right there yeah I was talking to somebody about today and you guys didn't really talk about Billy he lives on the floor but he made a lot of documentaries and I was talking to somebody today that everything is really made for advertising like they don't cancel tv shows because they don't think it's good anymore they cancel tv shows because not enough people are watching which means not enough people are watching commercials right so the same thing for the zoo they don't care that they could give a shit if all the if all

the elephants die they're bringing you in for the 20 dollars and then the five dollar Gatorades like it's 18 fucking dollars to get into the kid don't pay you know and then I thought about it I wanted to take my wife and throw her into the fucking elephant pit because I'm like why is my daughter here she don't even know what these fucking things are I'm pulling around she's looking at the elephant thinking the same thing I think why is this fucking room smell as bad as it fucking does it's felt terrible so you're not going to be one of the parents taking their kids to you know I go to the museum I go to the

museums I like museums I go to seaworld I got passes for the long beach uh aquarium aquarium which is always dynamite I've been that was down there two years ago that's indoors where they see you know me though I go to the fucking museum down there go to the butterfly exhibit I'm a fucking people like museums I love all I can't stand I love I want to see something or learn something I want to stop and read with my glasses I go to a fucking zoo and I walk a mile and I'm sweating profusely there's no fucking animals I lose my temper

I get pissed off Lee what yeah 18 fucking we got preferred parking for the fin and nobody charges us to fin so fuck them I ain't gonna go back I think the guy went to the bathroom fuck them I parked right there too like a doctor 50 feet from the fucking thing then they had a little line how's how's mercy doing doing anything because isn't this at like the point where they start doing a lot of stuff really fast mercy's a fucking savage she moves at the speed of light you gotta watch it now yeah she crawls fucking lightning oh today I heard something kicking the door

and I opened the door and it was her fucking looking up at me she don't give a fuck jack and you can see when she's spinning like when she sees a cat and a cat sees or the cat like fucking gets on high alert when she turns to face that cat that cat fucking takes off jack it's like fuck mercy but there's two cats that are good to mercy so I'm very lucky that one's just leave fidel and chill super bad okay everybody else is like we don't want no fucking drama we don't fuck with her she pulls my ears you know she don't mess with demmy demmy

don't mess with other girls do not mess with her at all that's crazy I got Evie a lot of people I never talked about Evie because nobody really sees I know I barely see her nobody sees Evie Evie is Lulu and super bad sister now for you people don't know they were mixed birds fidel's father is super bad father uh-huh and demmy and harry's father is the girl's father cats can do that yeah so when she had that litter she had super bad net litter she had dj and the two girls they were all from the sigmes cat okay the black and white one was from fidel's

big father you think fidel's big his father had him by two big fucking large large cat and they were back they killed each other and the two leaders were fidel's father and the samurai the samurai ran samurai was very violent he was killing kittens he went after the fidel's father and tore his fucking back I saw the samurai chasing a cat on highland one day like that samurai did not play he chased him from my fucking house by vine yeah to fucking highland like I saw him an hour later like running after

the fucking cat the cat's like what the fuck I saw what he did to fidel's father he almost killed him on a tree the samurai demmy's father and harry's father was not a very smart or he was a killer he had just gotten worse and worse his head was really big he had scars his balls were gigantic he couldn't even walk he was one ball of fucking testosterone and muscle he kept fucking that cat and then he would kill the kittens then he would fuck the cat and he would kill the kittens he would take the

heads off he was violently killing those fucking kittens squeezing this I mean it was horrible so when I took those girls up lulu's a sweetheart yeah dj the one who died he's a sweetheart evie was always kind of she's tight with super bad no she was tight with dj and dj was kind of like demmy they're those simies that you gotta watch uh so out of all the simies cats I have evie got a father's gene evie is a killer

what happened was I gave evie and lulu away to some girl at peko mm-hmm they signed the paperwork and paid $140 a girl took she had two of the cats in the fucking house when they were kittens they were threatened to kill that big cat so my wife had to go there on a sunday and take the cats back and now we were stuck with them they were kittens evie never liked my wife and she would come to me and let me play with her gently hmm gently and then she would like right now if I'm on the computer

I put a stand here a chair and she'll jump on the chair nobody's ever sees her she she's really pretty really pretty face markings and she's got a black print that's how I could tell the difference between her and lulu on the back of her leg and one of her ears is twisted from lulu biting in the fucking womb that's the only thing we could it's twisted but she's got a beautiful face and her eyes get blue and they glare at you just like the samurai's she gotta watch her so when you're petting her sometimes you might be petting a pet and you might

pull your hand up to get a lighter and she'll fucking scratch it because she wasn't ready for you to move your fucking no it's serious it's fucking serious she got me yesterday she got me essay lightly I mean they're not bad but I turned my back on it so she's coming out more around the baby so you gotta watch evie now because evie's a fucking killer evie does not take shit from those guys she avoids them yeah yesterday I was watching evie and she had those baskets where you know you're sitting on the baskets yeah

so demmy she was on the middle one and demmy was on the bottom and her tail was hanging over and demmy started hitting her tail yeah she crumpled it up and she started watching demmy from the top and she's positioned herself me and terry watch like a watch this she positioned herself just fucking perfectly and her hand was strategic and she put her tail over and the tail was moving very slow very seductively and next thing you know demmy fucking bought the hook he put his neck out and started hitting her tail yeah and then she fucking

did this flip and got him and you heard the thing go quack that demmy fell off and then started shaking his head like he had been knocked the fuck out and I go terry I told you you don't want she's like terry was like I don't even want her around the baby fuck like yesterday she came over and sniffed the baby it's like terry's like joey joey joey she's fucking violent like she's she's cool she likes me so the other day I was brushing her I'm brushing and brushing and brushing I got a brush every three days she's beautiful a coach beautiful brushing and

brushing and brushing and brushing that's what happened yeah the phone rang and I turned and stayed there she put her hand up and clipped me on the arm so I go on and here you finish her off right I go terry you have to pet her and brush her at the same time you can't just brush her because she'll take offense that's how smart she is you have to brush her and pet her until you love her and then she'll open her arm so while you're brushing her you can scratch her stomach and she won't do nothing to you but if you take that hand

off and just brushing her head you're hurting her gotta watch it with her like I thought right away it's not my wife did it I will watch she's not going to use the hand bam within two minutes she's scratching my wife's like Jesus fucking crap you gotta watch with Evie everybody else is on their own plan and Evie lets me pick her up kiss her behind the neck Evie will give me kisses to a gnome if I can give him give me kiss she'll come right over and kiss me she loves me she's kind of weird about my wife I think she just likes the fucking so

you've never seen Evie have you I think you did one marathon with her and then uh and then I think I think she's come out a couple times but if I walk towards where the bathroom and the bedrooms are she'll know she runs away yes you don't fucking play what do you do they all can't be missus personality so you talked about hulu talked about hulu we talked about dollar shave club talked about we talked about on it and you gotta get these fucking bills and do jumping jacks and drink water and work out yeah and do you do any jumping jacks today

yeah I do let me see you do five jumping jacks yeah you don't do jumping jacks you're slipping cock sucker let me see that look at the physique I'm so fucking I know you are that's good week look at your breaking fucking tables look at you you're a savage honey molly you want to take another hit no that's it you want to call the night my ac is not working good enough everyone has it on I need to be fucking cold I don't like getting this high you don't like nothing you don't like eating I like being a little bit high you don't like eating I don't like this I like fucking taking a cube and dropping

off your beat and fucking everything fine so uh so did you stay for the whole UFC this time yes I did you haven't done that for a while you like so uh I stayed at the fight but I got up before the mirror whatever fight I went by the hot dog stand it was I'm happy you asked that thing because I had a great time at the show at the paps mm-hmm and we stayed afterward and took about 300 pictures and all of the same people then there was there's a there's a guy who I guess is traveling across the country and he's going to that squad

shows I think he's Puerto Rican oh did already take a picture with him the other day okay Spanish guy looking guy once his girlfriend or something yeah okay so they show up to the show at paps and uh cool real real cool people after what we shook hands somebody hugged me they smelled like fucking cat piss I had to go home and take a fucking shower and then go eat you filthy mother fuckers whatever that was somebody hugged me they smelled like cat piss something terrible I'm gonna sniff

people from now on no more hugging me no more unless you smell fucking terrible so then he comes over and he hugs me and he says hello I met Ari hey man what's going on I met his girlfriend they leave the next night I had two chibo chews a lot but I thought I see I usually mix a 70 milligram one with 175 milligram one I go fucking bananas you ate 240 I always eat 240 I eat 240 just to walk around talking to people so that night I went in my fucking thing I only had two 175s

so I was like oh this could be ugly so I ate the 175 like at four o'clock yeah then at 5 30 I popped another half of that and I saved the other one till about 6 30 and I said fuck it if you're walking on ice you might as well dance you know two I was specced for the church two decadoses two decadoses and I blasted them I smoked a joint before I got in the car the drive over that was fucking baked and I was thirsty when I got in the car I was thirsty and the security driver was asking me questions and I don't know if he knew I was high

I don't think he knew I was fucking stoned so I get to the event and I walk in and brother God bless America it was the lowest seats but I didn't even have to go upstairs and go to the bottom they had a section where you just walked through no stairs no nothing yeah I usually got to hit those stairs once I hit those stairs and I'm sitting there the whole time I'm sitting there watching getting excited by going up those fucking stairs I'm like why don't I go up those fucking stairs this sucks well now I didn't have to go up those stairs

when I was right in boom you go in you sit down brother when I walked in there and that hot air hit me that air conditioning and shit yeah I was so fucking high I was so fucking high and I walk in and I'm like you know it'll calm me down something to eat like peanuts something a sandwich yeah a salad well all these motherfuckers got downstairs is hot dogs and bratwurst so I tip over by this time hundreds of people have walked by now you don't want to stop in those

UFC's and I'm gonna tell you why because if you guys come to a comedy show and you ask me for a picture I'll give you the picture you at the comedy show you know we are but at those towns like Milwaukee or Indianapolis or anywhere except Vegas people look at me and they think I'm a guy from the Sopranos so they don't give a fuck they just want to take a picture and then after I take the picture they go man I really like John that show and I'm like oh you fuck so now they stop all these people and now because

people have cameras they don't give a fuck they'll just come up to me go let me take a picture of you so now I can't watch a fucking fight yeah because people think I'm fucking big pussy right so I get in nobody know this is nothing nobody says joey Diaz wings nobody says nothing boom I look up it's a fucking guy traveling across the country he goes hey man how you doing I go pretty fucking now he's looking at my eyes he could tell I'm fucking stoned if you see me you know I'm fucking stoned okay if I buy my body language it

determines how fucking stoned I am if I'm looking at you know I'm giving you body language to get the fuck out of there that means I'm really fucking stoned all right how you doing great to meet you and I make him believe I'm looking for fucking mustard go to fuck away go away I'm high I'm hiding I he says dog you're doing a great job look at you hiding over here going no and all of a sudden he goes I see him take his phone out I see a thousand people walk to me like not walking towards me but walking in and he goes can I take a picture I look at this motherfucker and I

go no you dumb motherfucker because that's how dumb he is we've just had this conversation he just said to me dog you're doing pretty good I go yeah don't say nothing that's great man I'm just gonna eat my hot dog and go to my chair all of a sudden I go to get the fucking napkins I turn around and he's programming his iPhone you know you're starting to hit it and like what are you doing he goes I want to take a picture but no you ain't taking no fucking picture getting the fuck out what's wrong with you you fucking retard I just told you

what the fuck this is me off two deca doses you know me I sat there quiet I didn't say nothing nobody didn't sweat I watched all the fights finally before Tim pranked me here and the other guy got up and went upstairs and pissed and I got a diet Pepsi or some shit in the water and I watched the last two fights upstairs when the fight ended I just walked out of there like nobody fucking even saw no shit you know how I do I ain't got time to be fucking mixed up and wait I hate that

shit I'm done I don't want to walk no more that's it I heard our buddy won what's his name um it's a brother he came out to like a black Sabbath song didn't he like we yeah like you oh he lost he lost he got knocked out oh it sucks like Chad Mendes yeah we had a rough night but what are you gonna do you know I'm just happy henders at Benson Henderson lost I don't know why I'm sure he's a good guy I've never liked watching him fight I like I don't think he feels right now on Labor Day think he's eating hot dogs

jumping up and down twisting by the pool he's whole he's got his fucking arm in a sling right now probably and he lost he's a young man but he knows that's what it's all about you know the UFC lose you come back stronger you know well Dana White said he's not gonna fight that guy again they're not gonna let him he lost twice right no that's not gonna but it made it for me for someone who doesn't know that much about the sport it made what John Jones did in that Shell Sonnen fight was it Shell Sonnen who almost broke Jones's arm

no that was two fights ago that was bell four that made that even more impressive no no no these guys do a great job but that's a tough place to stay on top and there's always somebody gunning for you and Pettus had his number he's been working he threw some hard kicks at him and those those are fucking lethal there's some good fights on that card you know frankly who knows what's going on with him and Clay Guida you know I love them both love them both but you know this the UFC is a business what are you gonna do yeah and that's it we'll be back to

fucking Wednesday morning bitches you didn't play I want to be around or nothing you already played it you're so fucked up yeah we played it I'm just testing I know we played I'm just watching you cut suck I know you're dirty fucker and then don't forget Friday at 13th Saturday the 14th New York City got them don't slip to follow on Friday me and Lisa I had a Friday night live podcast Friday oh that one yeah yeah Thursday night before what are you talking about I thought you were later in September that's what I'm saying I'm fucking so give me a break don't make me I'm telling you I'm gonna fucking sit you down and put this e-cigarette on your fucking neck

then I think a vampire with bad hygiene so anyways the next Friday the 20th at the ice house fucking unbelievable and then but next weekend New York and the Friday after that the ice house and I've been I went to Gotham a while ago to smaller club don't I mean New York is busy that's gonna be an awesome show what are you gonna bother me for no why not you gotta redeem yourself to the church people I don't have to redeem myself I wasn't even gonna tell them today yes you know I thought about it over the weekend and the way you did it you were slipping I wasn't slipping I don't like I like smoking edibles you don't like edibles you don't like eating ass you don't take them far to the eye

no no stop stop everyone doesn't want to have a contest you want to have an eat an edible contest that live podcast night that Friday and see how many people eat a half of that good will come up like this with their handful like it's fucking Catholic church cock sucker you got to toughen up you got to eat that edible that's it it's over you always break it and play with it like it's a fucking string bean like your mom made I don't know you gotta eat to look me in the eye that's no you didn't you playing around with it like a chick that wants to suck your dick but doesn't want to you're slipping you know I love you where's the music I love you people have a great Monday have a great holiday with your families what's left of it you probably get this Tuesday morning

have a great fucking week we're back in two days bitches stay black we love you leave throw kids at these people oh shit respect motherfuckers now that the show's over don't forget to sign up for your free trial of hulu plus hulu plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your tv pc smartphone or tablet support this podcast and get an extended free trial of hulu plus when you get when you go to hulu plus dot com slash joey or go to the joey ds dot net and click on the hulu plus banner and also don't forget to sign up for dollar shave club dot com you'll get high quality raises sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail we love these guys and you will too now go to dollar shave club dot com forward slash church

or just go to joey ds dot net and click on the dollar shave club banner guys so in the house so she wrote to the hospital to see if she could get a little help i'm billy the cords wrapped around my neck i'm seeing my death and i ain't even took my first step i made it out i'm bringing mad joy the doctor looked and said he's gonna be a bad boy i want to be smoking bloods make it green on the drug scene fuck the football team whiskey rocked the spleens by the age of 16 here in the cold stream make my lifetime dream of me i want to blow up stack my dough up so school i didn't show up if my flow up mom said that i should go

disrespect myself put the drugs on the shelf