Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #091 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
Episode Date: August 23, 2021Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, August 23rd..... This episode is brought to you by Boll & Branch, Draftkings & Onnit..... Go to https://www.BollAndBranch.com Promo Code: JOEY | 15% Off 1st Pa...ir of Sheets Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook Go to https://www.onnit.com PROMO CODE: JOEY or CHURCH Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....
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it's monday morning august the 23rd let's do this
you
what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday the 23rd of August I hope you
had a great weekend I hope you had a great fucking week last week we did I
had a good fucking week last week I had a couple breakthroughs doctors you know
the whole fucking thing now this week I will be out of town shooting a TV show
I'm a fucking excited about that I get a little insurance next year just in case
I need new fucking glasses or new teeth or whatever the fuck it is you got to
work a certain amount of quarters to qualify for insurance suppose they're
not using residuals no more it's a brain fuck I don't give a fuck I'm just
looking to work I'm not getting rich I'm just gonna go work see some people say
hello and be fucking you know still be out there what the fuck am I doing here
just sitting around these are the worst two weeks of August to be here it's
gonna be humid nobody's around people are fucking traveling it's back to school
time you know people are depressed fuck it I'm going on a road trip I'm gonna
eat some food I'm gonna smoke some reefer and I'm gonna enjoy my time with my
fucking family you know I'm saying I have a great time with them this last
week we went to see fucking Greece at the rec center we left after 20 minutes
the sound sucked so we got the fuck out of there plus the mosquitoes were eating
us out Friday we went to a fucking bonfire Saturday we went to two parties
went to a party I gotta tell you it was great to see this guy you know I was I
went to two parties first I had to go to freehold and then I had to go back up
north to a different outdoor party and shit it was raining you know we had to
catch whatever we could but I saw a guy that made me fucking laugh so hard I
thought back to 84 new years of 84 we're in a bar we got a couple lines in
us we got a fucking gorilla biscuit in us it's me stinky my man Roger God rest
his soul and Ferney a bunch of us hanging out but it was a unique click
and this kid came in his name was John he looked a little fucking perturbed it
wasn't new years Eve yet it was like probably 1045 the bar was a little
quiet still this was a quiet bar we were there for a fucking reason this kid
walks in he's all fucking flabbergasted he goes listen I don't know what to say
my father just got jumped down at this taxi place on fucking 32nd Street it
was close to my mother's bar so I knew exactly what he was talking about he goes
we got to go down there and fucking fucked them up now I got a couple cocktails
in me I got a gorilla biscuit I got a fucking coke I got a couple lines in me
I'm in no mood to go in hand-to-hand combat with anybody that's the worst
time to get yourself involved in a fucking altercation but my friends are
like let's go you know let's go down there fucking to help them out I'm like
oh fuck so we go down there we get in the car the kid gets in his car and we
all go down to Union City we fucking parked the car and the taxi cab stand it
was a cab stand like in Goodfellas it's a it's a big Goodfellas week fucking
it was a cab stand and it had like sun shield on the fucking glass so you
really couldn't see in you could see people standing there but you really
couldn't see in so we pull up we get out of the car and the guy John he goes
listen this is my dad I just need you guys for backup let me go in there and
do the cleanup first and if you if I get things get
danged you guys come in I said all right no problem you know I'm a little
fucked up I'm not even talking probably I'm just making noise you know
whatever the fuck I'm doing so the kid has a bat with him and we're like what
the fuck's this guy gonna do he's got a bat with him and he walks through the
door he opens the fucking door we you know you could actually see him walking
in he closes the door and you could see him approaching like three or four guys
that are in there we're like what the fuck is he doing and all of a sudden you
hear you just hear a fucking like you could fucking hear it like a bang and
all of a sudden our buddy comes out of the taxi stand holding on to his head
and he's like fucking bleeding you know not a lot he's just bleeding a little
bit but you could see his little fucking discombobulated and he's like help
help my friend goes to him who are you Mickey Mantle because he was fucking
bleeding from the head and shit I reminded him of this on Saturday and he
just went fucking pale he didn't like it too much he didn't like the memory
beating brought up but hey when I said it to him he the joke just went flat like
I remember when you got hit in the head with the bat and Roger asked you who are
you Mickey Mantle and he's like I don't know it fucking happened cocksucker but
anyway what I wanted just to open up a little something for you guys just to
get you going just didn't see what I got to deal with on the fucking weekends I
got to see these people now and retrace the fucking now he's like I don't
remember anyway fucking the beauty of it is I wanted to talk to you guys about
something you know dad was looking at my daughter you know and we're having a
good time here we really are she's got new friends he's she knows the kick
boxing she does all this shit she had a great time in camp Friday I went to she
told me Thursday night at the fucking Greece movie she goes dad one of the
counselors there he really likes you and one of the movies or some shit can you
come in and say hello to my go absolutely you know it's the last day of
camp I didn't want to I've been to the camp before I just never went in there
because I didn't want them to go all that's her dad you know whatever she's
having a great summer on her own she want to fuck another medal on Friday for
some athletic award you know she's having all that shit on her own I didn't
want to go in there and then go all that's Uncle Joey's daughter I didn't
want that so I didn't go in there I just wanted to see what she would do on her
own merit and she did fucking great you know pictures they had a fucking carnival
last week this was a hell of a fucking camp big pool a couple fucking pools
field houses they don't have to bring lunch my wife didn't have to make lunch
all summer she was ecstatic about that they had ice cream bars you know it's
all about the fucking kids here and that wasn't even the really good camp that
was like a median camp frogs neck is like when they fucking smoke cigarettes and
they have tea parties and shit and crumpets it's it's it's fucking amazing you
could go from a basic camp here where it's just them playing on fucking on
concrete to like camps with wraps and they take them out of copter rides I
didn't want to do all that I just wanted to swimming and doing athletics they
they play every game there in the world every fucking day with football
basketball she learned how to throw football we're outside throwing a fucking
football it's a great little fucking camp so I go in and I know my daughter I'm
like she's gonna be fucking she's so emotional she fucking fell in love with
one of the counselors or whatever I know my daughter I just know her so yes
Friday at four my wife goes I'm gonna pick her up are you coming I go
absolutely in fact I wanted to shower and got all do it up that's the type of
motherfucker I am when I came out of shower I was yelling for my wife and she's
not answering like she fucking left without me I came out she was on the
couch we went down there fucking beautiful camp trees everywhere you know I
didn't say anything to anybody when you walk in you got to put your mask on so I
guess people couldn't tell whatever so I walked in and I went over the way we
have to get it sure enough she was one of the girl counselors the girl
counselor was crying Mercy was crying it was fucking tremendous Mercy's like I
don't want to go but then we had to get the girl's number we're gonna use her as
a babysitter but as we were walking out the guy that runs the camp goes Uncle
Joey and I look at him he goes how you doing my name is John I run the camp your
daughter was great this summer we didn't know till this week that she was your
daughter we started laughing her asses off great fucking people you know and she
was a little upset we went got her a little slice of pizza motherfucking
Carlos and then we went to the fucking bonfire thing but I was looking at her
you know and I'm like wow she's a way different kid than I was at that age at
eight I already knew about fucking blowjobs and fucking people getting
stabbed I saw my stepfather shoot a guy and fucking a Santa Rhea party my
daughter doesn't have any of that I mean and that's how I like it you know the
other day some guy hit me up you know Joey we're not saying that we don't
like what you're doing but you know you should fucking smoke during the Alameda
week and just so we could smoke with you listen guys listen listen I told you
once I told you a thousand times my daughter lives in this house I didn't
get a studio because what's going on in the world right now and time will get
one but for right now I can't smoke in this house this is her house and I can't
disrespect her and if you need to watch a podcast or you need to see an album of
the week on patreon with me smoking because you feel like we're smoking
together I think it's time for you to put a white jacket on and go get some
fucking help do you think when I look at Snoop Dogg smoking I'm like oh I'm
smoking with Snoop Dogg that's a problem guy that's a crazy this type shit
that's never gonna fucking happen get it together I got a thousand videos on
fucking YouTube of me smoking that was the past this is the fucking present so
and this is why I do it because I don't want her to ever come to me and go
what's that smell I've smelled that before in the house this is her house so I
got to give it to her you know I'm saying I live here that's it but it's
our fucking house I live here and I pay the bills but it's our fucking house so
you got to understand where the fuck I'm coming from so I'm looking out of the
air day and I'm like what is she you know I mean she's she's great I'm really
happy that she didn't have to go through what I went through as a kid I'm really
happy like I got friends that call me hey we want to invite you to this
restaurant fuck you there's no kids there and there's alcohol I don't want to
see my daughter drinking fucking people drinking fucking alcohol acting like
Jericho that's not what I want to do because that's what I did as a child I
wasn't a fucking ball looking at and they were irritating the fuck out of me
back then when I was a fucking 10 so you can't imagine what they doing I don't
want to be in a fucking ball I haven't wanted to be in a boss since 1980 fucking
force so so I was looking at I'm like you know what's crazy about her she
doesn't have the fear that I had I had fear when I was a kid I wasn't a tough
strong kid when I was her age I had fear ever since the time I'm left from New
York City the other day on Instagram I posted a picture of my mother's house it
was for sale in 2018 and I was in the neighborhood I went to bring flowers at
the cemetery and I went by the house like I always do the check on it it was
for sale I took a picture of the fucking thing to send it to my wife and then me
and my wife were talking when I got back to California she's like do you want to
buy it I'm like they want 365 for it and you're gonna have to sink two or
300,000 in there just to modernize it just so the house could be in 2021 the
house is still 1960 fucking eight you know if you've seen it so we just said
no I don't want to live there but I thought about it afterward let me tell
you something from the age of 10 to the age of 16 I was never settled in that
house I don't know if you've ever lived in a house that you won't settle in all
I remember is waking up one day on you know fucking Riverside Drive and 89
Street overlooking the Hudson River that's why I first remember living and
then after about six months the apartment got raided one day for numbers
and my mother thought the apartment was spooked so we moved to 205 West 88
Street and I lived the 205 West 88 Street since I was five till I was 10
years old with no fucking problems at all I love living there I watched fucking
scary movies did never affected me I watched the exorcist at 10 never
affected me I think I slept with the lights on for a few weeks but it never
really I could deal with all that shit when I moved to 3515 given that
terrace something happened to me as soon as I walked in that fucking house
something did not feel right I usually based my life on energies if I don't feel
right doing something I won't do it again and all started with that fucking
house that house had a creepy fucking effect to it we moved in that house in
May of 73 probably two or three weeks after I beat up sister Heisen that's
sacred Heart School for boys of his problem right around that at time that
my mom got the house in Jersey and that's when we decided we're not gonna go
to that school no more I had chicken pox that week the Mets were playing the
fucking the Cincinnati Reds I actually went to the Mets game with the fucking
chicken pox I just put makeup over my fucking little pimples on my head I
went to the game I saw fucking Pete Rose beat up by the house and I went to two
games it was two home games but I still remember moving to the house I didn't
like it I didn't like the kids outside I didn't like the house I didn't like the
fucking yard it was above the ground pool I wasn't crazy about but that wasn't
what was I wasn't crazy about of that house the energy inside the house was
not fucking me at all you know at first when we moved in that you know you have
the yard you don't have a yard living in New York system you know the the
attraction was the yard you know I would go out to the yard and jump in the
fucking pool it was summertime and we moved in it was like April May so
shortly after the pool opened and we could swim and shit you know I put up a
basketball court but the ground back there was pavers it was like 18 inch
pavers so they weren't connected so when you dribble the ball the ball would
fucking go everywhere else because it wasn't the ground it was pavers but
again that's not the reason what made me the first summer the first probably
eight weeks was great in that house and there was one two bedrooms with a closet
room and a bathroom on the second floor and then there was a third floor attic
that was refinished and it was beautiful it was cool as fuck they had like
paintings on the wall like a big brush went around the fucking wall and they
they crisscrossed I think the room was yellow they had a great window fucking
strong as fuck air conditioner the closet was a walking closet in the
attic and over on the side there was like a stand for shoes well I took that
apart and shit I took that fire I lifted the fucking thing I busted all and I
discovered like a little hiding space I used to actually go in there as a little
kid put the cover and make believe like there was a that war was ending and I
was downstairs in the basement drinking like tang and shit I swear to fucking
God my man when you're a single child you have a tremendous imagination so I
would go in there the whole thing it was great it was a little paradise up in my
fucking attic but shortly after I moved in there I started hearing shit I just
started hearing shit you know I just something wasn't right about that fucking
house and I still remember being like Mercy's age and one night before I went
to this is after I was already like I had gone to Catholic school for third
grade to Sacred Heart School for boys and that was a boarding school where you
went to all fucking week and then you came back Thursday Friday Saturday so I'll
never forget one of my first weekends at boarding school I came home you know
everything was great went to the bar probably went to a movie my mom brought
me home at three with my stepdad we sat downstairs and bullshitted for a while I
went up to the fucking attic and my parents went to bed my mom went to bed
and some point in the night I can't tell you what I felt I felt like somebody
had grabbed my leg or I pulled on my leg it was the weirdest fucking feeling I
know Joey you're fucking crazy I'll tell you what I felt you know I felt
something I felt something and when I turned to see what it was I kind of was
alarmed and I made like a noise like ah like something like that and I just saw
something and heard something I and here's the crazy thing that after it went
down my mother and stepfather came out of their room to ask what just happened
we heard something really weird I go I don't know I was half fucking asleep and
I felt something grab my fucking leg and when I turned I was startled I made like
a noise they heard the noise but they also heard the stairs like something was
wrong with the stairs like somebody had gone down the stairs so they're like what
the fuck was that you know I'm like I don't know but whatever the fuck it is
I'm not staying up here no more and they're like you got a stamp then that's
the night that Juan gave me his gun with a silencer and he goes sleep with this and
if you see a ghost just shoot it and I'm like okay my god was like okay I'm
like there was no fuck I don't know what it guys I don't know what it was but
there was an energy in that house that just didn't fucking feel right and I
went away to captive school I came back on the weekends you know I would stay
there I would stay at my godmother's house I would always stay different places
on the weekends so I didn't have to deal with whatever was in that house
anymore until I got thrown out of Catholic school then I had a deal with
whatever was in that fucking house once I got thrown out of Catholic school I went
back I signed up at McKinley the Balzanos fucking call mine beat up Bernie
Robson's father once I was in the neighborhood I was very happy but
something happened right in the beginning of the sixth grade again by this
time I wasn't I transferred all my clothes and everything as I was getting
older when I got back from Catholic school I took the room next to my
mother's I felt a little safer I said whatever happened in the third grade
happened you know whatever maybe I don't know maybe I had one two fucking many
blueberry brandies at the bar because I would sneak them when I was like eight
and nine but who the fuck knows you know I'm not here to fucking say that
there's a ghost or whatever but we'll give it another try we'll give it another
fucking try that I'm a little bigger now I can handle myself now I'm a little
stronger you know I just beat the fuck out of a nun I'm ready to take over the
fucking world here so we transferred into McKinley I think I was in McKinley I
think a month elapsed in those days I would play whatever the fuck I was
doing from three to six three to seven and then about seven I go up to my mom's
bar I go to the New Moon Chinese restaurant on 29th and Bergen line I
eat dinner whatever the fuck on Cuban food or a sandwich from Hernandez and
then I would walk home I would walk down the hill and go to giving that terrace
and I go home my mother would stay at the bar my stepfather would stay at the
bar and I'd basically be alone till three in the fucking morning no big deal
I was 11 I was a big boy I could fucking handle it I think after a month every
time I would fucking turn the lights off in my room and turn the TV off I would
hear this bullshit on the fucking stairs people coming up it was an old house I
mean it wasn't that old of a house if it was 1973 when we moved in I think the
house got built in 53 54 or something like that after the orphanage fire I'm
giving that terrace so I really don't know how old it was but man at night once
I put my fucking pillow down I put my head on my pillow it was like there was a
fucking party in my house I would hear people going up and down the stairs
shit coming from the attic I would have to call my mother I think one night I
called the fucking cops the cops came and after about a week of that shit I
was like fuck this I'm not living here no more so I started in the 6th grade I
moved out of my house I don't know if you guys even heard this fucking story in
the 6th grade I pretty basically moved out of my house and I had two different
places I'd stay at I'd stay at 26th and central at my my friend Eva's house my
buddy Jose Torres his mother had a house on 26th and central 26 14 central
Avenue and I'd stay there there was a his sister lived there Lucy his sister
Ellie lived there me and Lucy were tight in the mornings I wake up and go get a
fucking bag of zeppelies I go get a stick of fucking Italian bread and the
whole stick of hotel bar butter and a 32 ounce Coca-Cola and I bring it back over
there me and Lucy would eat the fucking whole bag of fucking bread and I eat
the zeppelies on the way to McKinley I had a fucking system Jack I was on I was
on fire up there in Union City and I loved it I didn't have to I would only
go home after school to get clothes for the next day and I would go to karate do
my whole life go to my mama's bar but I would end up on 26th Street or I would
stay on 22nd and central by my friend my cousin Julio Rodriguez he owns
Anaconda Jiu Jitsu in North Bergen and West New York if you're looking for a
Jiu Jitsu school I might as well give him a plug he's a good dude he's a great
fucking teacher he's a Higgin Machado black belt but I'd stay with him and
his mom a wilder and his brother Gio fucking you know so I would walk to
North Bergen from 22nd Street I did not like that fucking house at all my mom
would beg me to come back I would still see my mom and I'd still see my step
father was still part of their life but when it came to sleep I just would not
fucking go down there it took me I didn't move back into 3515 to maybe middle of
the 7th grade the year I got left back so I moved out of my fucking house
basically for a year and a fucking half and then I got a girlfriend in North
Bergen and it's tough to tell your girlfriend that you're scared of sleeping
in your fucking house when you're in the 7th grade because you look like a
pussy so I started living there again sometimes during the week I would sleep
out and Chuckie McBreen's house or something you know or one of my other
friends house Whitey's house or Mario Diaz's house or Anthony Balzano's house
if things got too dangerous at night I would fucking you know little by little
it was like I was you know just working myself back into the fucking house but I
always thought that house and that neighborhood were fucking creepy as fuck
and if I go down there now I spoke about it a couple weeks ago on here when
you go down there now just the neighborhood is dead and it bothered me
for years like I didn't know what the fuck was going on there I used to put a
glass of water I used to put earplugs in at night so I wouldn't hear the fucking
haunting as I called it it was just a fucking haunting oh yeah it was going on
but not I think I was sleeping heavier and I wasn't really dealing with it I
would put earplugs on you know so I went back the year I got left back you
know once I started giving my mom a problem at school like there was a the
teacher called her in one time so she was like enough with sleeping out you
gotta start sleeping back in your house what did I pay for this fucking house
for and I was petrified at that fucking house you know so many weird fucking
things happening in that house like I think the weirdest thing that I ever
saw was the night the chick knocked on my door beat up like that's never happened
in my life again I've been in fucking horrible situations and horrible places
but at the age of 12 for a woman who's barely fucking had clothes on her
husband ripped her clothes off and she had blood coming from everywhere and
knocked on the door that's just a spooky fucking thing like it took me a
while like I'm like this fucking neighborhood never stops this chick
just knocked on my fucking door you know bleeding and as we opened the door
we had a rusher in and her husband was running up the block with a fucking
knife and my stepdad had to get a fucking gun to wave the guy down this
is my life and fucking the seventh grade you know it was fucking crazy and
then my mother ended up letting some friend of hers Tati a great he was a
great friend I loved them with all my heart you know do some Santa ria shit
in there and the house really went to shit then my mother and stepfather broke
up my mother hit him in the head with a fucking saint like a statue of the
virgin marriage just hit him in the head when he was sleeping he got up there
was blood everywhere I mean the things that happened in that fucking house
another night I was a sophomore in high school maybe two weeks before my mother
died we almost lit that house on fire one night I mean there was almost a
fucking battle in that house we were in the fucking house my mother was in
Florida selling her property down there she had this property on MIA on Miami
International Airport I don't even know what happened with that shit but anyway
we were having I said my mom is gone I'm starting to get popular let me have a
fucking party at my fucking house so I got like a keg you know we did the right
thing I had a downstairs I had a garage you know I had a sub basement I had a
garage and I had the living room I can have everybody up there my living room
was a little creepy because I had the six foot saint in the living room of
Saint Lazaro and I had you know it's just a fucking creepy living room but I
contained them in the garage and downstairs in the basement these girls
fucking showed up and there's one girl in particular was a little fucking loose
you know I'm talking about and we're fucking sophomores and this girl's a
senior and my one buddy who I was telling you about a couple weeks ago
Louis had a thing going with that girl she was like a senior you know so we
were sophomores I knew Louis since the seventh grade at McKinley he was my boy
you know I was telling you this story a couple weeks ago so Louis takes the girl
upstairs to my attic and my other friend Steve has got a girl in my bedroom I
don't give a fuck I'm just as long as I don't go in my mom's bedroom I locked my
mom's door I'm stinting downstairs in the kitchen talking with this kid Chris
that we used to call the Red Devil and these other guys eggs and all these
other guys and we're just having a conversation nobody else knew besides
Chris that my man Louis was upstairs with the girl and my other man Steve was
upstairs with a different girl nobody fucking knew me and Chris knew we're
sitting down it's probably 12 30 at night the party cleared out we're just
talking shit I don't even think we're high and all sudden I hear somebody
coming up the garage stairs and this is kid Eddie with another kid and two other
fucking guerrillas and the kid Eddie his girlfriend was the chick upstairs of
Louis and you could start you know I the other guy it was a great built house
it was a fucking solid fucking house I used to jump off there was two sets of
stairs I used to jump off the fucking stairs down to the floor that fucking
floor stayed tip-top Magooda way it was forever I had been jumping off that
fucking thing since I was 10 my mother would tell me stop one day you're gonna
go to the fucking floor I didn't give a fuck I would jump off there jump off
there jump off there so we're sitting in the fucking in the kitchen it was a
dining area there was a dining area then there was a living room and then there
was like fucking TV and all this shit big downstairs we're just sitting there
talking shit and the saint is right here San Lazaro saint is right here he's six
foot five he's got crutches and shit real crutches so one thing leads to
another and Eddie and his buddies come up and they're like we're looking for
this girl we're like I have no idea what the fuck she's at you know she was
here earlier but she left you know and he goes no no no no no she's here you
know she's got to be here we're like dog what are the only ones here you hear
anybody fucking else and the kids like well then you won't mind me looking
around I go that's not gonna happen this is my mother's house and that's not
gonna fucking happen and the kids like yeah it is gonna fucking happen and as
he started walking towards me Chris was a fucking animal this kid was a fucking
street urchin he fucking took one of the crutches from Saint Lazaro like a
fucking five-foot crutch and he goes if you take another step I'm gonna break
this over your fucking head I'm like holy shit this is gonna go down in my
living room because he had three gorillas with him and he goes if you go
past this I'm gonna break this over your head and then I got up and took the
other fucking cast and I go look like you're gonna get hit in the head twice
and every other guy that was in that kitchen with me that night I forget their
names I'll tell you what everybody we were gonna take these motherfuckers down
right in that thing this is gonna turn into good fellas when they're kicking
poor fucking Bobby bats and all that shit this is just gonna turn into this
was not good and now I start to hear the bed upstairs and everybody is like
looking around and we're like like making noises and shit and we're like
you're not gonna fucking pass this or we're gonna hit you in a fucking head
with the fucking crutch the kids sat there he's like I don't know what the
fuck he goes you guys are tough guys tonight what if we came down here with
more people then we'll make a fucking call and we'll get more fucking people
you're not coming in your house my house listen to what you're saying you're
saying that you want to walk in my house and search it you know who the fuck are
you you know and now I was a little scared of this guy Eddie and his fucking
friends but at that point I wasn't scared anymore who the fuck it you know
once you're right you're right who the fuck are you to come in my fucking house
get the fuck out of here we just don't get the fuck out get the fuck out it
will break your fucking head and Chris led the fucking charge till this day I
still love him I don't know what he is I see him on Facebook my friend he was a
redheaded kid so my friend used to call him the Red Devil so we fucking they
left and we were like whoo that was a fucking close one you know Monday we
had a deal with shit I think the kids said something to me at school Monday
that he was keep my on me but we never even discussed it again it moved on but
that was how crazy that fucking house was and then after my stepdad left the
fucking house the house just had this feeling that even when my stepdad lived
in it have you ever listened to the end of Pink Floyd dogs when he goes you're
a stranger at home you know and all that shit that's what I felt like after
1978 right before I graduated high school we didn't really have a home it was
just three people living together as much as I love my my my mom and my mom
loved me I don't want you to get me wrong we loved each other but we were
three people that were living and doing our own thing and we weren't even eating
dinner I was eating dinner at the fucking bar so once my stepfather left
and my mom let daddy do the fucking thing there a house really went to shit
you know our house went to fucking shit my mom was gambling the house was just a
bad luck house you ever have that where you just like this is I don't know the
house just wasn't one of my favorites you know when I moved into this house I'm
like this has the spirit that that house had no it doesn't not even fucking
close that house was just dark it was dark even when you had the lights on is
that a good way of explaining it to you like when I think back to going in and
out of that house I see it in black and white like I see the rest of my life in
color but I see that in black and white that that's why I didn't fucking like
that fucking place and the kill like I always knew something wasn't right like
I always knew something wasn't right I didn't know that that house wasn't gonna
end the right way like I would love to tell you I knew but I just knew that
house was just not right and there were two things that finally cemented that
that fucking house wasn't right the night I came around the corner and found my
mother on the fucking floor with bruises on her arm and she was dead as disco and
I mean you know when you find somebody dead in the house in that house the
sales sign goes up the next day there's no reason to stay there there's no
reason there was a debt in that house you know it's like the the judge that
got shot husband and kid got shot in East Brunswick last year you know they
sold the house you can't live in a house with debt in it you know pick up the
floor take all the blood out of the fucking house you know redo it so there's
no blood in the house not like you're wiping up the floor with blood you're
not leaving blood on the floor you're taking up the wood you're taking up
everything and you get and then redo a new fucking house my friend is a
sister-in-law killed herself in the house on Christmas Day that fucking house
was to sale New Year's Day I mean you just don't stay there once I found my
mother on the floor it was confirmed to me that I didn't have a solid fucking
house but this is where it gets even weirder for you are you ready for this my
mother fucking dies we take it to the funeral Paula you know the whole thing
we're about to do the week of the wake and shit we're all at the house eating
dinner whatever we're eating like a snack after we identified the body or
whatever I don't know in particular what day this came but it did happen we were
all sitting in the living room my mother was dead and I was feeling fucking
jaded I was confirmed that this house where I lived that was fucking spooked I
just found my mother on the floor and there's a knock on the fucking door they
all look at me and I guess I'm gonna fucking answer it so I go over to the
door answer this is nice white couple and she's like oh how you doing we didn't
mean to bother you were you guys doing something I don't know what's going on and
she I never saw this woman before I never saw this man before and they just
started telling me that they lived in the neighborhood and they that the people
who lived they wanted to see who moved into the house because they knew the
people who lived there previously blah blah blah blah blah I'm like looking at
like I'm not you know I don't know what this lady's talking about and she's like
we used to live on the block and we became friends with the people who lived
here and you've done such a nice job with the house the front of the house you
know my mom fixed it when we got in she put the bushes in all this shit and she
you know ladies like whoever lives here did a great job with the house we love
the windows oh my god we knew the previous owner rest his soul and I'm
like rest his soul what are you fucking talking about and a lady goes you didn't
know I don't know anything I'm just a fucking 16 year old kid what do I know
she goes well we lived here from the 60s and the owner here was a nice guy and
he had a nice family but one day they found them in the garage he fucking
killed himself and it was like fucking like the twilight zone I was like I
fucking knew it I knew this fucking house was fucking haunted and the lady's
like yeah he killed himself in the garage he didn't hang himself he closed the
garage door left the exhaust on and you know that's how he fucking died and I'm
like holy shit we talked for a little while and then she went off the porch
and all my beliefs have been confirmed I knew there was something weird in that
fucking house you know I hate to say it was a haunted house but there was
something beside me in that fucking house and it was not happy it wasn't a
happy house like when I walk in here I'm smiling shit that house didn't bring the
happiness out of you it brought I don't know it brought like this fucking
confusion over my life that's what it did I and ever since I moved out of the
house I've never ever ever experienced that again or fear like in that that way
like I would take showers the door open you know it was it got to me the fear
the real feel like there was something dark in that house and that day it was you
know I was happy that I knew it my mother didn't she didn't believe me this
house can't be fucking on with I'm like listen man and I saw something when I
was a kid one time when I was a kid like four in Manhattan we lived on when we
when we lived on Riverside Drive the hallway of the kitchen the kitchen like
if you look out the kitchen you know it was you could see a window over there a
window over there and a window over there and you know whatever one night
anyway you're gonna think I'm crazy I was not getting high when I was four
years old so I don't want you to go Joey you were fucking high but one night I
heard like a guy in the hallway outside the kitchen I remember looking out and
seeing like a shadow and telling my mom my mom was like they couldn't have been
it was impossible but I saw something and I remember my mom looking at me weird
and looking out the window and going yeah maybe you did fuck you know I don't
know for sure I don't you know I don't know how I felt back then but I
remember that I felt something sort of like I felt when I moved into 35 15
given that terrorist and then to make it all fucking come together and I could
invite you guys to look it up too if you you know like I told you to look up the
Superman a Cuban it's a long read in that same vein there's an article if you
Google it on the given that terrorist mysteries it's called something like that
given that terrorists lower north bergen you could find it if you Google it I'm
gonna try to Google it today and put it up on Twitter and patreon whatever for
you guys and it's an article about that area down there that there was an
orphanage on given that terrorist was called it she was called Mary given
art that was the fucking name she had the orphanage and there was a fire one
night and all those kids were killed in fact if you went up the woods on given
that terrorist you still saw the the foundation of the orphanage and the war
was black from the fucking fire oh just look up given that orphanage fire and
it'll give you all I mean it is just it's like 30 40 minute read about that
area and how haunted it fucking is I'm telling you guys that fucking area is
haunted I sit here I stand here and I tell you that I have never felt that
oaky or creepy before in my life that whole area down there from walking past
that cemetery I'll tell you two stories then we'll wrap it up they say that
there's have been witnesses and I heard that when I lived down there that there
was a lady that would walk on Union Turnpike or Liberty Avenue they said a
lot of people saw dressed like with lace and walking with a candle did I see a
no because I wouldn't be here right now I'd be in Guatemala fucking hiding if I
saw like a lady walking they say you see it like fucking gliding and if you read
the article you'll go Joey okay it's not you there's like 20 eyewitnesses that
have seen that lady walking around and they say that it's Mary Gibbonite that's
walking around but then it takes you back to 19 like 30 or something this is
the spookiest fucking story ever that cemetery where my mother's buried it's
called the Weehawken cemetery it's been there since Jesus bless Chicago it's
been there for a long fucking time I told you not that cemetery but there's
another cemetery that blends into Weehawken that I took a shit in the
night that Freddie Prince got fucking that died but I never forget what I was
shitting on it the only reason why shit on the body you know me I'm a fucking
Catholic and I respect spirits but that motherfucker died like an 1830 there was
nothing left in that box it was in fact this tombstone was like bent over and it
was rugged looking and all the tombstones in the area were like crosses that the
fucking cross had been taken down like there was just a stick it was 150
years old at the fucking time but that cemetery has been there for such a long
time and that same Mary given out article you'll read a story about across
the street from that fucking cemetery there was a row of houses there still
is and one night rock started coming out of that cemetery and breaking all the
windows on that hill going down so the neighbors came out to see what the fuck
was going on and then we're getting hit with rocks and shit so they all called
the police and the police fucking circled the cemetery circled it like a
police fucking thing because I think it was after three nights they kept through
all rocks they circled the cemetery and they went through that cemetery inch by
inch and they never found the fucking thing that was the same cemetery I was
gonna jump I did jump the fence and tried to fucking unburied my mom New
Year's Eve 79 but that's a different podcast we'll get to that some other
time but it all has it on there so if you look up Mary given out terrorist
orphanage if you Google it you'll come upon that article and you'll read it
you'll see that the shit I'm telling you is not fucking bullshit I felt it in my
fucking soul it was a creepy fucking feeling and I never want to feel it
again and that's what my daughter will never fucking have that creepy scary
feeling I never got there anywhere else I never got it at my mother's bar I
never got it at other people's homes I just got it when I walked in that fucking
house on when I walked on that block it felt weird and over the years I've
heard other things that have come out on that you know Charles court that it was
just the orphanage was on both streets so and there's people that lived in the
last house have a friend that's named Grace she lives in Tunkerton New Jersey
her house is on the top of giving that terrace and her mother lived there and her
grandmother lived there and she told me once after my mother died we were talking
about the same story and she said that the people that owned her house said
that for years after the the fire at the orphanage that at night they would hear
kids yelling from back there like kids that were eight nine seven yelling from
the orphanage so that shit ran through the neighborhood for fucking years you
know I want to tell you this story because I put the picture up on Instagram
my mother's house a lot of people wondered why I'd put it up I'd put it up
to tell you this story so if you go to my Instagram that flavors world you could
see the house it doesn't look wanted it just looks like a regular house but when
I look at it now it looks like a fucking house that's spooky and the thing that
scares me the most about this fucking house is that I called it I just did
not know that uh that it was gonna scare it's funny because the people who
bought the house there used to be a bathroom window next to the door so if
you rang the doorbell my mom could look out the bathroom window and if it was
Jehovah Witnesses she would get hot water and lower the upper window and throw
hot water the Jehovah Witnesses but they put bricks up on that window obviously
whoever bought the house but bricks up they fucked up the bushes that my mother
put in there and the bushes that are missing if you go to Instagram and look
the bushes that are missing where the bushes were one used to hide his gun and
his fucking knife outside that's my podcast for today that's Uncle Joey's
joint I just wanted to get that story out of the way because I put the house I
put the house up I put a picture of my cat up and I put a picture two slices
of Roma pizza in the house got like a thousand fucking comments and I'm like
what the fuck and everybody wants me to buy the house turn into a dispensary let
me tell you something I thought about buying that house and I was like there's
no way this is happening not I thought about it for like a day I'm like I could
live in North Bergen you know I could fucking get that house it could be
modern as fuck but I said no no no because whatever lives in the house I
guarantee it's still fucking there and that's my podcast for the week that's
Uncle Joey's joint I hope you enjoyed this little Monday morning little fucking
positive story about haunted homes and that's it laughing gas is still in fucking
stock it's back in stock last week it's selling off the fucking shelves get
there the big launch comes and what Joe told me was this batch they got on
Friday is better than the original fucking batch they had last month it's
gonna get stronger and stronger so if you're in the California area stop by
motherfucking ice cream shop and pick up laughing gas or any other one of the
ziki fucking products that tickles your fucking fancy I got no dates I got
nothing coming up except the Sopranos on October 1st every day we're getting
closer to the release of this movie I'm watching the episode of my wife as
many as we can at night we try to watch one a night one season three it is what
it is I love you motherfuckers with all my heart I'll be out of town this week
taping stay black and I'll be back next Monday the 30th of motherfucking August
no we'll be back Wednesday what are we fucking talking man we got a guest for
you too cocksuckers stay black and now for a word from my motherfucking
sponsors all right I want to thank you guys for watching the show today I hope
you got entertained by my spooky fucking story I've been dying to tell you this
story for a few weeks now that put the picture up will be easy but real quick
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motherfucking magoo stay black have a great Monday
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