Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 10/14/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #17

Episode Date: October 15, 2012

Joey and Lee come together on a Special Sunday edition of The Church of What's Happening Now. They talk about UFC 153, weight loss problems and tips, and people on twitter. Joey tells the story of when he first got interested in the UFC and met Anderson SIlva and his manager. Streamed live on 10/14/12

You gotta drop some knowledge on these motherfuckers. You gotta fuckin' feel this. My mentality was always going to the left mouth of the line and put a chair down and sit the fuck down and let the pieces flow where they may. And if you're not gonna live like that, fuck them all. Oh, shit. Blast that Lee. It's the Lord's Day, motherfuckers.

See that crowd, I lie a month and walk up with a couple slugs. See what happens when I'm rapping. Lee, let the fuck blast that shit. We're in the fucking ghetto. Bump that motherfucker like you own it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, shit. Listen, dawg, I ain't got no time for all the bullshit talk. The gloves is off.

I don't need no companies to fucking fuck. What back, bitches? The church of what's happening now, the special gambling edition on the motherfucking Lord's Day. Joey Coco Diaz, my buddy in heat, Lee Syat, aka the flying fucking Jew. Are you kidding me or what? What's going on there, Lee Syat?

Not much, man. It's been a great weekend so far. It's been fucking awesome. That's right. It's been fucking tremendous. It's been a great weekend for everybody, even though these cocksuckers tried to stop me by taking me off Twitter. I'm fucking believable how it started because I'm in Portland, Oregon.

I get off a fucking plane. I'm having coffee with Felicia and I'm getting all these calls. Joey, is there something wrong with your fucking Twitter? I'm like, listen, I'm having coffee. I'm not in front of the computer, but when I went to log on right there on the phone and said something else

and I get home and you know what it was, people? Don't fuck. Let me explain to you what it was. There was a couple of crime stoppers last week. I knew exactly who the fuck they are. Crime stoppers? They're Twitter fucking crime stoppers. You know, I've had to picture up a, what, three fucking months.

Yeah, every once in a while I got to complain. Joey, take it down. How long are you going to leave your balls up there? Did I take it down? I'm not going to do nothing unless I want to fucking do it. You follow me? Nothing bothers me more like my pants always fall. And people always say, hey, crack kills, really?

It's 2012 and you're still saying that stupid fucking joke? If I didn't pull my pants up and you know me 10 years, what's going to fucking happen? What are you talking about? So everybody kept hitting me up, changed the fucking picture. And then I got this guy that was like two little fucking douchebags last week that were in a row. Because I don't know what happens on Twitter.

Twitter is the best. And then every two or three weeks, you get three little douchebags that pop up out of fucking Twitter hell just out there that say shit to people. And you go in there and I never understood that. Again, that was like, to me, when people would say something on Twitter and you say something back and they disappear, I know these 13 year olds call it trolling.

Oh my God, I'm just trolling. To me, when you're trolling, that means you're looking to suck a dick. Why grew up? That's what trolling fucking meant. You're looking to suck a dick. So if you're one of those little amateur trollers or you know somebody who thinks that's cute, get it together. There's a lot of shit going on here.

You are on Twitter hiding behind fucking a computer insulting people. Tell them, you go to their pages and they have 20 insults they insult Kim Kardashian. And it's the same one all the way. Same fucking people. You know, you look at it and you go really good. Like who the fuck raised you? What were you raised by?

Once you're weak fucking little fags running around in the house, you know, talking about this and that and the neighbor next door that's put an egg in his yard and that's high. That's deaky shit. But anyway, that's who ratted me the fuck out. Some mook on there. I see one of them back on there last night. Really? Yeah, he's back.

You know, just and they have no life. They go home and they look at the fucking computer. You know, I love to get my hands on them and put them in a black fucking neighborhood with a shirt that says I hate fucking yams. Let them loosen four in the morning or something like that. It just fucking kills me. What's up with you?

Lee, Lee, Lee looking sharp today, Lee. He put some gel on his fucking head dude today. I need a haircut. But thank you very much. You had me over last night to watch the fights. We'll be a very special guest. We have Mike Dolce over here. And Mike Dolce is one of the sweetest fucking guys I've ever met.

Running an intervention for us. Yeah. Mike Dolce, I met him at the fights. I would see him in fights and I'd make stupid comments. And one day he was on MMA Junkie. I was on MMA Junkie. And that's how it started. George, George is George's the bad motherfucker that he is.

He yells at Joey. But he's training with Mike Dolce and they go, what is he going to do? Jumping the fucking thing with a frying pan? What's he going to do? Can't do it. Just because you eat fucking better. And Mike see me and he broke my balls

and I always kept in touch with him. But I started hitting him up on Twitter. Then we did the Joe Rogan thing and I always talked to him weekly. After that I gave him a call once a week or once every 10 days. And he called me last week. He said he was in town. So I figured I had Mike Dolce surrounded by two fat fucks for fucking the UFC. And it was great.

I had a great time. I'm happy you came over. I like just doing it at home, quiet. We ate a little bit. He brought some mozzarella. Oh, that was good. I've never been into that before. Yeah, it wasn't bad.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older and my tastes are changing or what it is. But that was fucking delicious with tomatoes and mozzarella. But T, they did it the fucking yuppie way with vinaigrette, whatever. When you have a Italian style, a nice piece of fucking prosciutto on top of the little muts and the fucking. And you got to taste that on hard bread. Wet muts out, hard bread, ham, and a fucking, and some mayo.

Oh shit. Well, that was like the 10,000, wait, watch your point. Oh, that fucking wet muts. That was a fucking kid. You don't see wet muts out here. I don't think they call it buffalo muts. When they grew up in North Bergen, you go into a fucking thing and there's always a bucket full of salty water and there's white ball in there.

You get a prosciutto, a nice imported prosciutto. You shut it. You slice it thin. You get a little fucking, you slice that mutsadelle fucking nice and thin. You put on a piece of hard bread. Good googly moogly. You get stoned to the fucking bone and you eat that. But it was just nice that Mike Dolce came up and I was like at first, I was pretty fucking

like, I didn't eat in front of him. But before he came, I had a protein shake. I had one of those Rich Gaspari, my select, whatever protein shake. I'm trying to have one of those extra every day. I'm going to just stick to weight watches and the protein shake just to get the extra protein. And it was just great that he showed up. He watched the fucking fights.

What did you think of the fights, Lee? I loved them. They were probably, it was probably one of the better cards that I've seen for a while. And I'm not, I'm a fan because I started working with you and all that stuff. And I've started liking it, but I'm not like really, I don't really know everyone's name and everything. But it was really, it was great. And people, people, like their favorite fight was the Anderson Silva fight.

I would have rather had seen someone else because the fight was, it didn't help anyone and it was kind of a waste of time. You made a good point. If he went, if he loses, what would he have lost his belt? No, and I looked it up. It was a, it wasn't a title fight. It was just, he wanted to save the event and, and, and Stefan Bonner was coming back from retirement.

So it was, yeah, when I thought of that yesterday, he's like, well, he's not going to, nothing's going to happen. It's a fight and he's going to destroy him and he destroyed him. It's, it's fucked up because when Kevin was on Kevin Bonner, whatever, but Stefan, Stefan Bonner was on the floor and went into his chest. I see him look around. He's like, where's fucking Joe Silver? You cock sucker.

I'm at home retired, minding my own business. I got to come all the way to Brazil and get a knee in the fucking chest. You know what I'm saying? I live in Chicago. I can get a knee on the corner anytime I fucking want. I got to take a flight for 19 fucking hours to be surrounded by these savages and get a knee to the fucking. Let me tell you, let me tell you how I feel about Anderson Silver.

For years, I hung around with a Joey Rogan and Eddie Bravo and they would always talk about fighters. And I'd sit in the back of the car like a fucking Momo. I never liked the UFC. I turned around one time and I'd seen some fat guy with a ponytail fight some fucking jujitsu guy or some shit. And I was like, this ain't, this ain't fucking right. And I turned it off and I never watched it again.

And when Joe would talk to me, I'd yes him to death and say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get the fuck out of here. I'm a Bruce Lee fucking fanatic. You know, put on with that fucking professional wrestling and he fucking shit. And I watched it when I was home, minding my own, it was the weirdest fucking thing. I was at home, minding my own business and the UFC was on. And they said, Anderson Silver, and I remember them talking about Anderson Silver as the best fighter in the world.

I go, let me see what this fucking dude looks like and out comes this little black skinny wide receiver looking motherfucker, you know, lanky and he fought Chris Levin. And it was like an annihilation. It was something that I had never seen before. It was like three punches, a kick and a knee. He wasn't even in the fucking fight, Chris Levin. It was, it was just a non-slut. Oh, no.

And I'm not saying that he's not an amazing fighter. No, no, no, no, no. It's just like a way like those UFC is cost $100 a seat and you're going to go there and watch see him destroy someone who he knew who he was going to destroy. But the whole thing was that I seen that and my head blew up. I had never seen nothing like that. And about two weeks later I'm making Joey Karate video. I fucking get online and I watch all his fucking fights.

Anything that's available to me I watch and I was blown away. So I was coming back from Chicago and I'm sitting on this plane and I'm thinking, I'm going to do a video today about giving out picks for MMA. I'm going to do it based on Anderson Silver and I made the fucking video. Joey Karate won when, I don't know what came out of my mouth. It was 400 pounds. But it's funny. A week later I got a call from Eddie and they're like, this dude wants to talk.

This is a true story. They go, this dude wants to talk to Ed Suarez. He's a good friend of mine. So he calls me and he's like, hey, I'm Anderson Silver's manager. We want to meet with you for lunch because we have some ideas. So I met him in Hollywood and we went to the, I forget the name of the Chinese restaurant. Terrible. But he brought nine fucking Brazilians with him.

Really? Wow. But it was funny because one day I saw him at the hotel. I was staying at the, we went to watch one of the fights and I saw him at the hotel before that. And as he was walking past me, I said something in Cuban, like very hard. And he kept fucking looking at me. Like I talked like a hard nose fucking Cuban.

He kept looking at me. And it was funny that we went to lunch and I became a fan. I'm a real fan of Anderson Silver. So for the last five fucking years when I watched Anderson Silver, you just know there was a lot of fights I could have gotten to his and I wouldn't go because I didn't want to see him get into a fight. Like I don't like watching him fight live. The last time I went, I took the hit of acid with Ari when he kicked whatever in the fucking

face. Yeah. Through the thing. So I'm a fan of his, you know, and it's funny that people talk shit about the guy. The guy makes these guys look like kids. And I watched an interview with Dana White. He's 36, 37 or something like that. And he's older than Stefan Bonner.

He's older than the guy who was retired. And apparently he says he wants to go for five more years, which would be around 10 to 15 fights. He'll do it. He'll do it. You know, and listen, John Jones is going to find him. He's going to have to fight John Jones. Maybe Chail again.

You know, it's funny that Mike Dolce works with Chail. And I love Mike Dolce and I love Chail. But Chail talked to all this shit. But what people forget is he lost two fucking fights to Anderson Silver. Bottom line, whether he beat the fuck out of that, Anderson beat him in the fucking fifth round, my friend. Yeah. That's what champions fucking do.

They come from behind after you beat him up. And the way he fights is the most genius system because he makes you make a mistake. You make a mistake, not even thinking about it. Because it gets in your head during the week when you're fighting. So no matter what, you're always looking for something. You don't know what's going on. It's like I told you with Nogara for it. And he pinned Dave Herman, that fucking genius, that said he don't believe in Jiu Jitsu, even

though he knew all the fucking defenses against the fucking, whatever he says, he don't believe in fucking Jiu Jitsu. Look what happens. He goes to Brazil and gets fucking his head fucking turned around. Rick Story, Damian Mayer, great fucking fight. The blood was coming out of his mouth. You know, Rick Story's a great fighter and he's a young kid. And he came out, they threw him, you know, and at the beginning he came out throwing

some heat. Then they threw him to the mouth of a lion, a couple guys. That Damian Mayer goes to show you how great he is on the fucking floor. I still don't know what happened. I don't even want to watch it because it wasn't his nose. It came out of his mouth. I don't even know where that blood came from. It's just something.

Sometimes you get punched in the mouth. You're shut in your mouth and all of a sudden it just spits out. It didn't come out of nowhere. He's okay. He got up. He's probably at home eating fucking jumping. He's probably at home eating fucking special K or some shit right now. You know what I'm saying?

And then that other fight, Phil Davis and that Brazilian guy. That was a great fight too. The fight that really fucked me up was Tuxera. Whatever his name is. That they tout him as this fucking monster and he fought Fabio Maldonado last night. Clover Tuxera. Who is he? He's a hard hitter but he couldn't fucking finish Maldonado for a long time.

You know, it's amazing when a fighter goes in with a lot of hype like that and you're expecting it. I mean, yeah, he punched him in the head but Maldonado got him through a couple fucking left hooks too. So it was a great card all around. I'm happy you fucking came out. I was in Portland, Oregon last weekend, Lee. Let me tell you something about Portland, Oregon.

They ain't fucking around up there. And I've always known this. When I went up there with Joe, I knew that it was just craziness. I had never seen anything like that. In 2011, or yeah, what it was in 2012? It was 12-9. In 2011, I went on a few dates with Joe. One of them was Milwaukee and the other one was Portland, Oregon.

And I was blown the fuck away at the level of fucking heart in these cities. Portland, Oregon, they don't have no medical marijuana stores. You're allowed to grow it yourself. But everybody's got weed. Everybody. Everybody smokes weed. Everybody's got weed. It's like wood stock up there.

1960 fucking nine. The flying Jew in the fucking house. Everybody's got weed. Everybody's smoking. From the minute I got to the fucking hotel, I smelt weed. And there was a Crown Hotel or one of those nice Plaza hotels. I smelt fucking weed. Then you go to the club and everybody who showed up, I came home with a bag of weed to knock your socks off.

The show was great. Healing was great. If you came on Thursday night, thank you very much. You took pictures. But something really weird happened Thursday night that I want to talk about. Some lady came up to me and gave me a bag. As soon as the show ended, I was taking pictures with people. And she came up and she goes, listen, I'm sorry.

I have to work. I have to pee. I have to go home. But this is a present for your baby. Really? And I looked at it and it was wrapped and there was a car. And I said, you know what man, this is weird. My wife is nine months pregnant.

She's going to have the baby in January and she's seven months pregnant or whatever the fuck it is. And this lady, and the whole night I took pictures and I had the bag in my hand. And every time somebody gave me weed, I put the bag in there. It was like a gift bag that I had. And I'm not saying this story because I want presents for the kid. Let me tell you what fucking happened. I didn't look at it and I got on the plane the next morning at five in the morning.

Forty-five minutes I was in a security line in fucking L.A. at Portland Airport. And the funny thing was I was going to run to the count and get a priority to sneak in the priority lane because they were watching. I couldn't even sneak in. And they were like, it doesn't matter. The line's backed up. I mean even the first class people were fucking backed up. And I watched the guy and I actually made it to the thing before he did.

But anyway, getting back to the story, just to let you know about people and what goes on in your mind and your heart. I'm sitting there and I'm sitting over with my wife Friday night and we're watching something on TV and I go, oh fuck, I got to give you something. Somebody gave me a thing for you. So it was funny when I was carrying into the living room, I took the card out and opened it up. The girl's name was Lisa.

She didn't leave her last name. But I sat on the couch and my wife signed up a chair and she opened it up and it was just the cutest baby clothes, like the clothes you bring home from the hospital. And it was all small sizes and my wife was picking it up and she smiled from side to side. And I was sitting there and it was the first time really that the reality of what's coming into my house. I mean, I'm taking this on levels.

It's really weird for me. Like most guys would be excited. I take life from levels. I don't get excited till I fucking see it. I'm from the church of what's happening now. That's what it is to be part of the church of what's happening now. When it gets here, we fucking deal with it. You want me to jump up and down?

There are other things on my plate. If I walked around thinking about the kid all the time and him coming, I'd be like those guys. You see, oh my God, man, what the fuck? There's life in front of you. You got to deal with every fucking day. When the kid comes, then we'll get down. That's what the church is all fucking about.

But I'm sitting there and I look over at my wife and she's looking at these kid clothes. And I see the smile from side to side on my wife's face. And I'm looking at this and I'm like, can you believe this, that a lady that listens to me on Twitter or podcasts or somebody who supports her, who's a friend? Because like I've said many times, you guys are not fans. We're all friends. We're connected. When I do a show, I'm talking to you.

20 years ago, there was a poster of Julia Serving or a poster of fucking Richard Pryde. And you never got the chance to meet that guy. Now, we can meet everybody. We can meet athletes through Twitter, musicians through Twitter. So this is a great thing we have. But it was just amazing that a person that we have a bond on Twitter or Facebook made this happen. She made my fucking night.

You know, life for me, when you watch the documentary we shot, people always say that I call. I'm a good caller. I always check in with people. That's how I was raised. Fuck the wind. Fuck messaging. Fuck text messaging.

You communicate. And my philosophy always was making somebody's day. Even if you're having a shitty fucking day sometimes, sometimes you go, you know what, let me make that person's day because maybe tomorrow somebody will make my day. I mean, listen, making my day, I don't want your money. I don't want your fucking, you know, you pick me up and take me somewhere, buy me a present. Nothing. Making my day is as simple as making me smile.

Making me fucking smile. Wow. What a beautiful thing that somebody calls you and, you know, somebody gave you a ticket on your car. You forgot your lunch at home. You forgot your credit card. You know those days by 10 o'clock and all of a sudden the middle of all this fucking emotion, somebody calls you and says something to you or calls you a fat cocksucker or reminds

you of the week before and you hang up the phone and you go, you know what, no matter how bad I was feeling, I feel a lot better now. I always believe in making somebody's day. But even if you're having a shitty day, there's nothing wrong with making somebody's day. And you know what, I forget sometimes. I forget. I'm very lucky. I forget that.

I make a lot of people's day by doing that so in turn people make my day. And I tell you what, she made my fucking week. It wasn't weed related. It was nothing. It was just some baby clothes, a little hat. And I could see my wife smile on her face and just, it was the warmest moment. I got little fuzzies on my fucking ball lick. And it's important.

It's like the nicest thing about it is that she didn't make you open it or say, oh, how nice am I or anything. She handed it to you and left and it's just the thought. Didn't even fucking put a last name on it. And Lisa, if you're listening or whatever went to the show at least in Portland, Oregon, tell a thank you from the fucking bottom of my heart. I love what you did. You know, by you giving a little present to somebody, it turned me around and made me

think of my baby girl. So thank you very much. And I'm not looking for presents, so please don't fucking send me no baby presents. I'm not in the fucking booth all the time. But it's funny how, it's funny you said that. I was watching something on TV. You see how on TV people not have fundraisers, but they have these donation things. In your telephone.

I said, no, no, well, people come to your house and you show people that you donated $50,000 and you get the event catered and people come up to you and say, what a sweet donation. Thank you. Those people have always fucking bothered the fuck out of me. You know, there's nothing nice like doing something nice for somebody, not even mentioning it. Just make, I've been in whole tower rooms, I used to always leave weed in the desk or

something. I can just imagine you lose your luggage, you open up the drawer, maybe something left at the toothpaste and there's a fucking butt waiting for you. And you know what? When you're a killer, you'll figure out how to fucking smoke it. You'll stick a knife in it and light it on fire and you'll do something, you know what I'm saying? But it's amazing how when I went to like the University of Colorado, they had like these

walls and I guess for whatever piece amount of money you put down, they give you a fucking thing and they put your name on it, you know, donation from the whatever family. But then you looked at some part and they said donation unknown or unanimous and say, and I would do something for me. That's a real human being. It's weird how I said once on the podcast that having characters with nobody's watching, having characters doing something with nobody's watching, that makes a big difference. Yeah, anybody could fucking write a check and smile and go look at me.

I gave 50,000. This is, I'm special, but it's the people who just write the fucking check or just do something and they don't want nobody to know. You know, nothing bothered me more when I was a kid than somebody would say, dog, you broke yet his 20 bucks. And then two weeks later in front of 20 people, they go, yo, what the fuck? I gave you 20 bucks last week. Don't give it to me next time.

Yeah, give it to me if you're going to shut your fucking mouth. If you're not going to shut your fucking mouth, don't give me nothing. Yeah. You know, and those are people that are really your friends. They don't have to say nothing. When you do something nice with somebody, you don't need to say nothing to nobody. No, because I had to drive down and give him 50 bucks. He was broke.

Just shut your fucking mouth. Maybe he called you because he was broken. He was fucking embarrassed. You know how embarrassing it is to fucking be broke? Never mind to ask somebody to lend you 10 bucks or give you 20 bucks or give you a ride somewhere. So if you're going to do something for somebody, especially today, on the motherfucking Lord's Day, you might as well do it from the bottom of your fucking heart.

Lee, these people want locks. You know what? We're like fucking three and two, three and one. We only lost one game so far. Yeah, we're doing good. We're doing fucking good. I told everybody in the beginning of the season, especially on these gambling shows, if you bet fucking with your head, you can make some fucking scuttle at the end of the

year. End the fucking story. You bet with your head, you'll make some fucking geetus. Okay? Nice and easy. No drama sales. One pick. You look at it.

Even how many games are there? 17, 18? How many football games are there? Let's see. 17 plus the playoffs. So it's 17 weeks. So let's say there's 17 fucking weeks. You could wait.

You could go seriously. If you think about it, anybody can go 14 and fucking four, 14 and five, with still nine net winners. That means if you bet 100 a fucking week, you still made 900 months over, 900 dollars over three months. I hope you're betting a little fucking more on these with these locks that me and the flying Jew set up all night to give you. There's a lot of fucking good games here.

You understand me? And I don't believe in that eight o'clock game, but sometimes that's where the answer is. You just bet that. That's it. Just the eight o'clock game. 10 and forget about the one o'clock because that's two more chances. There's a bunch of great games on the board from New England to Seattle to Buffalo,

Bill's Atlanta. We were busting our heads over. I like from the bottom of my heart. I love the Houston Texans are at home. I've always loved the Houston Texans at home. I don't know why I'm a big fan of the city of Houston. Big shout out to one of the best food fucking cities in the country. People don't know.

And if you don't know now, you motherfucking know cocksuckers. Even the flying Jew. Go to Lola's today, get fucked up at Lola's. Go to that place on Berry Hill, oh my God, I would go for it. I would let somebody serve a finger up my ass for a tamale, a breakfast tamale from Blueberry Hill and some fucking lime made and shit like that. If you go over there, Blueberry Hill, tell them to join on Sundays and the one in the gay name, but I forget what it is.

I love that fucking place. The old last stop downtown on West motherfucking gray. That whole name, but I forget to name it right now. It's slightly gay and very yuppie, but they have Barnaby's. Oh my God, that's a gay restaurant. I fucking love it. I think they fucking come on the meatloaf. It's delicious.

They have meatloaf over mashed potatoes. I can go for that today. They got a Puerto Rican restaurant. They got so much fucking food in the Houston, Texas and the prices are cheap and they give you the biggest servings because it's Houston, Texas. Fucking Lola's. Oh my God, what I do to eat at fucking not Lola's, Chewie's. It's like a Mexican, what do you call it, like a Mexican, I don't even know what the

fuck it is. Southwest or whatever. Tex-Mex or they got these swirl margaritas, frozen margaritas, the little asshole, they got this Elvis chicken on Wednesday, it's chicken dipped in fucking cereal, cornflakes, which oh yeah, the piece of shit that comes out of your ass, the farts that come out on the plane are tremendous. But Mondays at Chewie's is sour cream, chicken enchiladas. I haven't been there in eight years and I still dream about those, you know why?

Fat man alert, fat man alert, cocksuckers, I will tell you where the best food is. Fat man alert, you little filthy fucks. What's going on, Lee? How's the diet going? We're going to try it, Lee, that's it. No, we're going to try it. I'm going to give you the Mike Dolce book today. And the thing that I talked to Mike about yesterday was that there's a lot of people

like and I work 10 hours a day, a little bit, you're not allowed to fucking talk unless you smoke dope. I'm telling you, you saw me smoke. Yeah, you took one little hit like a little fucking Girl Scout, you know, you took a hit and you give it back. I'll take some. No, no, you get nothing. Well, anyways, anyways, yeah, people, people who I work a long time in cooking for me isn't

something that I do to relax. There's some people I know who love cooking after a long day. That's just not how I am. I can't go home at, and especially when I go home at six in the morning, that's the last thing I want to do is cook a healthy thing. So my my thing is I want to cook at the beginning of the week, like the whole thing if I'm going to even do that. But he he says he cooks Sundays and Wednesdays for half an hour a day and cooks like these

really simple chicken things. And he had he had this really these delicious spicy corn blue chips last night and some Greek yogurt, he said, is really good. And for me, it just has to be simple, because otherwise I'm just going to go to step by here. I was four hundred and fifteen pounds. I couldn't breathe. I used to have to wear underwear when I went to the fucking gym.

Because as I was throwing punches, my piss would come out of my dick. Jesus. It was my breathing either controlled my lungs or my fucking parts. Like I could have a piece of shit fall out of my ass in the ring when I was getting beat up. It was amazing. And I learned something real important, but listen, we I love eating that me and you can eat that all day.

My problem with me and you is, you don't like lifting the rock for big food, so you'll eat fast food. And I understand. And that is no future in fast food. The best thing about my look at my mother, my mother did all these bad things, but she never let me fast food. I don't know why. From the time I got off that fucking plane in Cuba, there was a KFC in Manhattan, the

McDonald's. I was not allowed to even walk in front of it for some reason. I don't know why. And my mom didn't either. My mom cooked almost probably five or six nights a week, usually even seven. So where it started getting bad with me was when I started to get when I got a license and then I went to school in Boston. And for people who live in a city, you know, I mean, around every corner is a great place

to eat and you don't have to cook and yeah, but you guys are part of the fucking fast food generation. Oh, absolutely. You guys really, really depend too much on fast food. And when you're at a certain weight that you need to lose weight, you need to stop going out, even if you're counting points, even if you're counting points, because at the end of the day, you really don't know what those people are putting in their food. So you don't know.

You know, the only way you find out is when you cook it yourself. So here it is. Here's plain and fucking simple. You get up. You don't eat breakfast. That has to stop. Yeah. First thing you do when you get up and you're on your walk to the thing, eat an apple because

that'll get your metabolism going in the fucking morning. You eat an apple right there as you before you brush your teeth. If you don't want to brush your teeth, eat the fucking apple. I'd rather you eat the apple. Dolce wants you to drink water. If I drink water, I have a nervous breakdown. When empty water, like cold water just goes into my stomach at first, it tightens up on me.

So I can't do that. So eat an English muffin. I don't care what you eat. As long as you get something in your system. Yeah. A cup of yogurt. And it sounds like a lot of cup of yogurt, which it is, it is a lot for me, but I always try to do something.

You know, a lot of people, in his book, he talks about water even before coffee because it gets your system going. If you don't want to eat for three hours after, I'm cool, but you're not eating in the morning. That makes you fat. Okay. You got to eat six meals a fucking day. And get your metabolism going. You got to eat six meals a day.

So you got to eat a breakfast, a middle, a lunch, and a dinner, and then three snacks around it. Go to the fucking 7-Eleven, go to a thing and buy yourself a box of no sugar protein bars to start off with. Okay. You know, when you eat those for a snack, and that's your snack coming. When you get home at five, if you want to make an eight ounce Slim Fast, but Slim Fast sucks.

All that shit sucks. You know, with a diet, I want, like I thought for me. So let's say I get food sent to me. What if I travel? What am I going to eat that fucking food on a plane? No. You know, these people say, oh my God, I'm on this new milkshake. You do this for 10 days.

So okay, that's great. But what are you going to keep eating milkshakes for the rest of your life? No, you don't. So now you're fucking yourself. You clean yourself to live. You just lose away for the fucking time. You know what? I went from 415 to 273 or something, and now I'm up to 300 pounds.

But I still kept 150 fucking pounds off. That's a lot of fucking weight. And here it is plain and simple. One egg, one piece of toast, a couple pieces of bacon for fucking breakfast. That's two, four, five with the butter. That's seven fucking points. You know? Then about 10, you got to have a little protein shake, a little eight ounce, a little protein

shake. Then a fucking few apples. You know, when you're trying to lose a bunch of weight, especially through weight watches, they want you to fucking eat fruit seven times a day if you weigh over 300 pounds. The fruit pushes everything out, bro, believe it or not, because people think that just and I'm one of those guys that thought just because I work out, you know, that'll make me lose weight. No, it doesn't.

Diet is 70 fucking percent of it. Diet is 70 percent of it. So you got to dip into the diet thing and leave. I hate to cook. I fucking hate cooking. But I know that for me to lose weight, to stay healthy, I got to do some shit at the house. So you have to measure.

There's a great spaghetti dish that you cook, that is turkey, ground turkey with some sauce and tomatoes. Oh, and you probably cook a bunch of that, have a couple of days in a row, okay? There you go. Three days in a row. And then you make the chicken because you don't want it to last all fucking week. You know, the things are going to happen in your life. You are going to slip and be hungry when you go out.

Then take smart. Give me a fucking cheeseburger with no fucking mayonnaise, no ketchup, cheese, onions. It's plain. It's eight fucking points. If you don't eat the French fries and you have a diet soda, you don't do too fucking bad. Yeah, you can take the bun off too. Yeah, you plan your fucking day, man.

And it's just knowing that every meal you try to do the best you could. You know what? This meal, instead of eating mashed potatoes, I'm going to get fucking salad today. Or fruit. You know how bad it is to get a cheeseburger with fruit? If I sit there and I see you eating a cheeseburger with a fucking fruit, I'll probably shoot you my fucking cell. You follow the same thing?

But every time if you do a little bit of help, it's so much better. Everything helps you. I never knew. Like yesterday. I had, I got home with my wife. I went to see Argo, good movie. I went with my wife. We had some barbecue.

And I came home at another time and it was ten to fucking five. I was going to meet Mike Dolce at six thirty. Five years ago, I said, ah, I ain't got enough time. But I know in my heart, if I get in that car, it takes me six minutes to get to the YMCA. If I got on that bike for twenty minutes, if I got on the treadmill for twenty minutes, and if I hit the bag for twenty minutes, that's an hour. I just burnt three hundred, ah, I just maybe burnt two hundred and fifty, sixty, three hundred calories, which doesn't make you a break at six or seven points.

But I oiled my fucking joints. I moved some fucking fat around, you know, to loosen up the thing. Even if it was for one hour, so if you do that three times a fucking week, it will help your body. I'm fifty. I just took a fucking blood test last week. I got no, my other buddy in Jersey is one hundred and eighty-five pounds, he's pre-diabetes. I'm not pre-diabetes.

I'm not anything because I'm working out and it makes that insulin go the other way. You know, if it's in your system and you're a little heavy, you don't want to fuck with that diabetes. You know, God bless the tree so kneeling this Lord's Day, that's where he died from. Diabetes will take a motherfucker dog. You don't ever want to go into that room. And the only thing that cures diabetes really is either shooting yourself or doing exercise. If you exercise on diabetes, it turns that shit the other way, your insulin shoots up

and you kill that shit. And I know this, it's so important. You know, sometimes I'm thirsty, I want to crack a soda. You saw last night in front of Dolce and I only drank one soda. The rest of the time I was drinking green tea and fucking water. You drink, I bought that fucking thing to have in my house, that water, and I put it right in front of the refrigerator. So every time I go in there, worst case scenario, I leave a glass on top of it because even

if I do three ounces of water, it's way better than three ounces of soda. Yeah. Lee, it's just the little things. I know that half the fucking country, me, all of us, we're a bunch of fat fucks, half of us. And all we have to do is try a little bit and we get big results because it'll happen. It just happened. And so when I go to work, you wouldn't believe how many people I see eating in their car.

And it's the people who work all the time. And this thing Mike Dolce said last night, it's just habit. Every time I've lost a little bit of weight, it's because I got in a habit and I did it every day. And it's because I've had 24 years of not doing it and it's hard to break that habit, which is why it's hard for me. But the other thing is you have a habit. I have a habit.

But if you do little things every day to work towards eliminating that habit, you'll be fine. I could see you losing a ton of weight. You're a young man. You're 24 years old. Yeah, I need to. What you've got to do is kick up the fucking jams. But I'll tell you what's important, preparing.

Preparing is important. Preparing your day, preparing your week, where you're going to fucking meet. Those people that are eating in their cars aren't preparing. They didn't prepare. You know, sometimes I'm going to leave you out. My wife gets a cantaloupe. My wife gets a watermelon. We cut it up.

I always have green and red apples in there because I know that all helps. Sometimes I go, you know what? I am going to eat that fucking thing that's going to kill me. I'll eat an apple first, just to cover a little bit of space in my stomach. Everything fucking helps. I love bread. I love Italian bread. I love everything, dog.

I love fucking eating. I like shit. And I like smoking dope. You know how we fucking do it, Lee. The album of the week this week, let me tell you something, and I know you guys don't want to hear this. And I have to drop it on you. And I dropped it on Lee a long time ago because everybody from Boston thinks that the feather

in their cap is the Red Sox or the Bruins or whatever, or the fucking Celtics. And I love all that shit. But my love for fucking Boston, my love for Boston has always been the attitude of fucking Aerosmith. Aerosmith ruled when I was a kid. Yeah, you had Zeppelin and Neville and Pink Floyd and all these things, but they were considered a fucking toxic twins. And one of the albums that really hooked me on me wasn't even the first album with the

self-titled album with, you know, Aerosmith. And every time when I look in the mirror and walking the dog is in there. There's a lot of good fucking music on the first Aerosmith album. But Aerosmith too, what people don't realize is you'll have your whole life to prepare for your first album. The second album is how you really judge a band because now they have to tape this album while they're on tour, while they're doing drugs, while they're getting their dick sucked, while they're in the top of their fame.

After your first album and you hit, you're right there. That's as heavy as you're going to be. You're the new kid on the block. It's the best feeling. You win a couple of Grammys, I'm not saying they won Grammys, but you're the new kid on the block. The second album is the true test and that's when a lot of people fucking fizzle. That's when a lot of people fizzle.

And the great bands, if you look at their second album, you'll go, wow, now I understand. Most notably Zeppelin too. Listen to that fucking masterpiece of an album. But when you listen to Aerosmith, their second album is now called Get Your Wings. I was turned out by this album by a kid called Mikey Denny. They used to call him the devil. Mike Denny lived in the house with three other fucking brothers and a sister that was hotter than shit.

Jane Denny. She's on Facebook. Mike Denny today is in fucking prison. He's in prison for killing his wife, Mike Denny. They called him the devil. He was a wrestler and he was like five foot two. He had a brother, Jimmy Denny, who had no teeth until he was Jimmy Page. Jimmy Denny had a girl that sucked like 18 dicks one night when I was a junior in high

school. They used to call him Marathon Woman. She sucked like 18 or 20 fucking dicks my junior year in high school and she didn't suck my dick. Trust me, at that time I was a fucking prude. I used to see her in high school and people used to torture a Marathon Woman. Then they had another brother who did something, I don't know what the fuck he did. The father owned a ship company where they did, they were ship contractors.

So once you park your fucking ship after a long journey, Mike Denny and his father will come on your ship and clean and fix all the parts that were broken, paint. They were tremendous. Okay. He's how I got my driver's license. I never took a New Jersey driver's license dog. Oh, you told me this. Come on now.

Come on now. I got my driver's license. They showed up. I gave the man a check and they gave me a fucking piece of paper, BAM! So anyway, the fucking Mike Denny used to have an RX-7. So to hang out with somebody, when you were a kid you had to have a friend there, had a car. When my mother first died, Mike Denny was one of those friends and I told his dad like

Mike Denny. He always was cool to me even though people called him to death when he fucked a lot of people over from blowing whatnot. But Mike Denny turned me on to the sound and it was Aerosmith Get Your Wings and a lot of people don't know is that these are five junkies from fucking Boston. When you look at Aerosmith, that's what I think about. Five guys that were just young kids, had no direction, did this first album, the second album.

It was the age of heroin. When you listen to this and rocks, these albums are masterpieces and I've told Lee a thousand times. There was no Twitter or Facebook that you didn't put your song on fucking whatever and people listen to it. These five motherfuckers made a name for themselves from Boston. This is on this side of the fucking country motherfucker and they just took it state and they crawled over and they made some great albums and one of my favorite albums of all

time is Rocks because everybody had written them off. They kept saying, oh they're on heroin and they're never going to do nothing with their life. Fuck you. They came back with Back in the Saddle, Nobody's Fall but this album is the masterpiece and this is one of my favorite cuts, Woman of the World, play that motherfucker Lee. Again, in my fucking realm, Joe Perry's got to be up there. This guy is a phenomenal guitarist and this album will prove it.

Train kept the Rollins on this album, fucking SOS's on this album, same old song and dance. Too bad. I mean, it's a fucking masterpiece. So if you're into Aerosmith and you want to hear a good fucking album, listen to this blast that motherfucker Lee. Oh shit. This is when Stephen Tallah was Stephen fucking Tallah. This is when he would get 19 blowjobs a night by toothless chicks with fucking cavities

so his dick wouldn't get a cavity, too. Honey, honey, honey, honey, I'm a woman, yeah baby, you know I try, I try, I try so hard to please her. That's too much, dawg. This is what I'm talking about. I'm giving you fucking music. You get diet tips from Lee Syat, aka the flying fucking Jew in heat. We're just going to add that tag in heat because it's Sunday, you're the flying Jew

in heat on a fucking Sunday morning. Oh, so do we give them the football pick? I think we talk about it. The football pick is the Houston fucking Texans against the Green Bay Packers. The regular line is three and a half. The over and under is what, Lee? Forty-eight and a half. This one says forty-six and a half.

Forty-six and a half. All right, so I got five dimes, EU is forty-six and a half, forty-six and a half, forty-six and a half. They're all forty-six and a half. We're going with the under on that. We're giving you the under. We're still fucking three and one for the year, a four and one, so we haven't really done that bad.

We didn't give it out of UFC pick because, again, I don't like giving those out. I like giving them out after the fucking weigh-in, and we do this thing too early, and I got to fucking talk about something real quick. Like I said, man, I'm really, a year, two years ago, I went on Joe Rogan's podcast and I talked some shit about Twitter, like the people. I am so sold on it. And even this is what happened, I had to get a new Twitter page, and a lot of people followed me, and I got to tell you, I got some good fucking people who take care of

me, Al Orange, Whiskey Jack, Oli Boz. I got good fucking people out there that take care of me, and they look after me. So I just want to give you guys a shout-out out there. RJ Stroccio, I mean, these motherfuckers, Gus Gastinelli who shows up, Jordan came right over. I mean, I love you guys. You guys have been around. You know, Gus Gastinelli has been around since 10, 10 of 10.

He went to one of my first gigs with Felicia at Sal's, he was on my brand. Gus is a good fucking man. He became, you know, we became family, and I was doing Beauty and the Beast, talking about Beauty and the Beast. I want to tell you motherfuckers something. This last week, we had the guys on from Eureka Vape, the family. And I got to tell you guys, some sharp fucking guys put this company together. They're just kids, and they really made a brilliant pride, and I'll tell you, everything

is better on me. Yesterday, I went to the movies to see Argo, and I sat at the top of, the theater, at the top. Me and my wife, they're very top, and she's fucking pregnant. I didn't put enough change in the thing. I got 10 fucking calls, and I had a P. Usually, I'll pee my pants before I walk up and down those fucking stairs in the movie theater, because I poop out in the middle, and I'm embarrassed to just stand there and make believe like I'm watching a good part in the movie.

You have to walk real slow, and they'll be while I'm huffing and fucking huffing, and it's embarrassing. This thing has really helped me with the vapor. Really? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, I know it's a big difference. I know it's a big difference on the treadmill.

You know, I was smoking a lot of weed. I'm doing, you know, an eighth of fucking day in bong hits. You know, these big bongs. This is killing my lungs. I could feel it. When I was a kid, and I'd have the fucking wheezing on my lungs, I'd go for a run, and I'd spit out whatever I got, and I'd be back to, you know, back, like herpes. These guys came and broke it down for me, and it's an amazing fucking thing.

It's 65% THC. The highest you get in this area is 31%, 30%, oh shit, 28%. When you smoke this, you get 65% THC going into your lungs. Now here's the beauty of it, guys. Every fucking week, I get some new Momo who goes, Joey, I live in Virginia. Joey, I live in Kentucky. Send me the vapor pen. What are you going to do with it?

Once I send you the vapor pen, what are you going to do? Shove it up your ass and blow smoke. These tubes run out. It's an eighth of weed in these fucking tubes. What are you going to do with that? Send it back to me, and I'm going to go fill it up? No. You really fucking think I'm going to risk everything to send you a fucking pen.

So please, stop asking. It's not going to happen. If you don't live in California, I don't know what to tell you. Don't even ask. Don't be stupid. Nothing's going to happen. Send it to you one time. How are you going to fucking fill it up every week?

But let me tell you what they added to your recon pen, dawg. This is the real killer right here, what they added to your recon pen. This is called a nail. So you take this off, and now the big thing in LA is the fucking, the oils and the tinctures and the tonics. And they got, this is like a hash, okay? This is like a hash. And they call this like a wax or some shit.

Okay. So what I basically fucking do is you take this piece off, which has the oil already in it. I got a cartridge. So for the audio listeners, it's, it's a pen and a piece screws off. It's like a, it's like a pen pen and just screw a piece off and Joey has another piece. This is sour diesel. This is Girl Scott cookies.

And I forget what I have in here. But what you could also do is you can get this piece off, take it off. You put this little piece on here. It's called the nail. This is what they call these guys at Eureka Vapour. It's called a nail. And see, it does two things. You could smoke Vapour, which is good for you, or you could smoke this fucking little

wax that I had to get over at Divine. Divine is fucking great, by the way. They get better and better. I know a lot of people are going to Divine on recommendation, but so you take this little fucking wax, you clean this out here tremendously, literally what you learn every day and these fucking guys. They're just two guys that are trying to get forward and help. They love it.

They love smoking the vapor. They gave me a fucking pen, not a pen, they gave me a few cartridges to try out. But this shit, this is the Mac Daddy. This fucked me up the first day because it's like a wax. This is what's not good for your lungs. This is not, you know, this is smoking the other shit. But just that they give you the option. I fucking cook this up.

It's just like a fucking chicken cutlery with mashed potatoes, cream, corn. Lee Coxuck, it's the Lord's Day. I'm happy you guys came on. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Hopefully you'll be spending it with your family, your children, your mother, your girlfriend, your wife. Give them all the love you got today, man. It's the fucking Lord's Day.

That's why I hate working on the Lord's Day. I ain't doing anything on the Lord's Day. Which on the seventh day, God made black Sabbath and reefer for a fucking reason. And if you're a man today's your day, you go to the farmers market with your wife and your kids. You fucking build the kids some type of hot wheel track. And then you watch the four o'clock game on your own and you can't even do that because the kids don't give you no fucking lie the day you follow me.

Lee, I gotta tell you something, I'm kind of buzzed up. What a surprise. Between the coffee and the vapor pan, I'm over your sweat and fucking bullets. You know what I'm saying? You're even looking good over there. Anyway, it's a great week. It's gonna be, this is it, October 15th, half way of the month already. In one month you'll be 10 days away, six days away from fucking Thanksgiving and four days

away from that beautiful holiday called Christmas and about a week away from having a kid. So I hope it stays October 15th for a fucking month, you follow me? That's hilarious. And then I wanted to bring something up from, we talked last time, you've seen American Gangster, right? Yes. There was a scene in that that I watched today and it's Denzel Washington's character and he's talking to his brother and his brother's like at a party like really showing off and

he has this line that I've loved ever since the movie came out and it's not even that great of a movie but I love the line. He says, the loudest guy in the room is the weakest guy in the room and last time we talked about the guys who have to make a lot of noise and even today the people who have to talk about, oh, I donated this, I donated that and I just loved that line. It always is. Sister Anna Marie in the fourth grade, Sacred Heart School for Boys, before I choked a nun out in the fifth grade.

I was going to say, is this the one you choked out? Sister Anna was older and she used to say empty barrels make the most noise that I always stuck with. Oh shit, that's another good one. That means I'm a fucking empty barrel, you follow me because I'm over here yelling, screaming, making fucking noise. When I thought about, when I watched it, I was like, oh shit, maybe I shouldn't bring it up because Joey can be loud but the thing is with you, like last night we'd done the

fights, you don't really talk much, you're a loud, you're a funny guy and you make jokes but you're not one of the comics who have been around other comics and they're always talking and always making stupid jokes and they never shut up. You can't be loud and funny but it's not like you're just saying shit just to say shit. No, I don't believe in that at all. It bothers me when I'm around other comics and you can't even have a conversation because they always got to say something fucking stupid to be fucking cute. I'm a man, talk to me like a man, you want to be cute, go on stage and be cute where

it fucking matters. I've always believed, I hate that. Since I was a kid I hate that. When somebody pulls up next to you with a car with a stereo blast and are you fucking serious? Are you that stupid? Are you this fucking ignorant? The guy that moves in the motherfucking darkness is oh and that's how Juan raised me. The next Testicle Testimony is coming out October 23rd.

Testicle Testimony is three and then we're doing Testicle Testimony live October 24th. At the Ice House. Tickets are available 626-577-1894. But the way Juan raised me, if you listen to the patois and the show was, which is real importantly was that if you tape the fucking thing, he liked quiet. He didn't think, he didn't like the people I had grown up at my mother's bar were men that had made money. So they come in at night and they sit at the bar with their suit on and everything's a

big deal. It's like good fellas that see where they kill the guy. That's a dump bar. Why do you have suits on? Why do you have $900 suits to be at a corner neighborhood bar? But that's how a lot of guys were then because they got to make a big splash. I make a lot of money. I got my pinky ring and all this shit on.

Listen, all you're doing is giving people reason to talk because the people that will take you down the most of the people you make jealous to have nots. Here you are trying to be cool and whatever. Look at my car. Look at this. That just gets people fucking going. Shut your fucking mouth. You can go to a bar and you're trying to have a meal and there's a table of guys and they're

being loud and they're smoking cigars and they're just being jerk-offs and no chicks are looking at you yet but you're a fucking, I'm over here with my crew. What fucking crew? If you had a crew, you wouldn't be here. You'd be out robbing like a real fucking crew, all right? You'd be out knocking fucking people on, ripping off purses, never mind being at a bar. That's always bothering me and it's true. You know, I used to snore coke like a motherfucker.

The last thing I want is attention. You know, you have to assume that 85% of the times I'm smoking dope. You know when you're high, you don't want to be bogging, and you imagine being in Jerry's deli trying to eat people coming up to you and you're, I hate that shit. So no, I'm loud as a human being and I'm very loud but I know how to keep my mouth shut. My mother never told me how to fucking leave a room and you never have to tell me to shut my fucking mouth. I know it and that's why you don't see me with ten comics or three comics ever because

what's the difference? Nobody can be serious. We can never focus on the pain. Somebody was telling me that they had a friend that couldn't sit still because when you sit still, you have to face your reality. Oh, wow. You know, really, when you go home at night, if you're not facing, you have to sit still. You think of shit that happens.

How many times you get home, you had a great day and you're sitting home and you're thinking of that ex-girl for that cheat on you. You get fucking fired up at the fucking fence. I'm going to kill this dirty bitch. Same fucking thing, you face your reality. I was one of those people for a long time. Thank you for noticing. That's a great movie.

You don't like American gangster? I've only, I own it. I liked it. I was so into Man On Fire and I loved Denzel. It's a good movie, but they just hyped it so much. It was one of the ones where I was so excited for it and I've been thinking I'm going to watch it again, but the first time I saw it, I was like, it was good, but it wasn't Man On Fire.

It wasn't Man On Fire. No, that movie, you know, I booked American gangster the first time they cast it. Oh, wow. They cast originally with Benicio D'Otoro and Denzel Washington. Okay. And then the thing fell apart. Okay. And then it came back with Russell Crowe and a new director and a bunch of other things.

Well no, no, I think the, whatever brothers directed that they had something to do with it. The Coen Brothers? No. The fucking Coen Brothers? I don't know. The fucking comedy you- No, what are you saying, brothers?

No, the Scott Brothers. I think they had something to please the Coen Brothers. I don't know. I don't know any other brothers. I booked it and when I seen it, I didn't think, nothing, Max, nothing makes Man On Fire. I was watching another great movie, it was Remember the Titans, when he played the football coach with Opie from Sons of Motherfucking Anarchy. So yeah, it's funny, I went to the movie to the S.A.C.

Argo. Argo, when I seen the big kid from Sons of Anarchy and I turned around and he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like, dog, and I gave him a big hug, the big motherfucking hug that wears the glasses. Oh, really? And then the other day, me and Felicia were having coffee and we seen the guy that got blown up last season in the last episode by a landmine and we always yell at him and say we're trying to get him on the podcast.

So Sons of Anarchy, two days away, take your neighbor like her pussy has on fire. It's going to get good this week, he's going to go after fucking Pope. So we talked about douchebags, we talked about Twitter, we talked about Mikey Dolce, we talked about the Lord's Day, we talked about gambling. You know, I didn't go to church this morning because I didn't fall asleep until three in the morning last night. I saw you real late. Yeah.

Yeah, I had to write this book. I got back from the Ha Ha about 115 fucking great crowd, killer motherfuckers. I went down and I laughed my ass off, did not get a hot dog from the Mexican lady on the corner, which is some of the best hot dogs of you ever hungry, you know, this side of town at like one, go to Lancashire and buy skinnies. Don't tell me this. Oh, but at least it's healthy. It's natural.

She makes chicken maritos, tacos. Oh, okay. So I'd rather you get two chicken tacos with lettuce and tomato to get a fucking burger from Wendy's. Yeah, of course. And they have hot dogs, but they have those Mexican hot dogs with the rat bacon around them. Oh, they go right to your ass.

They come out like a missile. But your asshole takes the bacon and just takes it and just goes, and then you go, you like that cocksucker. But anyway, I want to give a shout out to everybody who followed me over. Thank you very much. And everybody who's making the podcast, the top 20 podcasts, I'd like to thank you. I'd like to thank the people of Portland for coming out last weekend. So for people who don't know for the time being, what your Twitter free Joey Diaz until

we get this fucking situation situated, you follow me free Joey Diaz and Twitter, whatever the fucking is Joey Coco Diaz and at Facebook, if you need to send me an email, send it to the fucking Beauty and the Beast podcast or whatever at gmail.com. I'm sure I'll get the emails there. Do not forget Testicle Testaments October 24 at the Ice House. Do not forget I'm at the Ontario Improv from November 1 to November 4. And I'm in Chicago, motherfucking House of Blue with the other Jew, the House of Blue with the other Jew, the House of Blue with the other Jew.

Oh shit. Gotta get a banjo. Gotta get you like a foot pedal. You know what I'm saying? No juice can play the banjo. I know. Who the fuck? If I see the Jew playing the banjo be all over, I'll have to take him to another room,

stab him and fucking rub some Jesus on his face to burn him like the exorcist. I love you motherfuckers. I really do, from the bottom of my heart, I love everything you guys do. I'm sorry about the embarrassment with the Twitter and the miscommunication. I should have known better than taking my balls off that. What do you have to say? Lee, anything for these fucking people? You're gonna just sit there like a mama lucariate.

No, it's football starting right now. Let's go in. Where the fuck are you going? You didn't bet. What do you care? What time is the rate of game, man? What time is the New England game, man? One o'clock.

All right. So you can one o'clock California time? Yeah. So where are you going? I just want to go home and eat yum-yums, cop sucker. I love you guys. Thank you. Have a great Sunday with your families.

If you're watching on Stick Up, I love you motherfuckers. And we'll be back tomorrow? We'll be back tomorrow. But I can't, they won't know unless you download this song. Just the people will be back tomorrow. We're gonna do Monday and Wednesday this week. Have a great fucking day with your family. I love you guys.

Stay black. Have a great weekend. Bye guys. And this is more from the same Aerosmith album. It's the same old song and dance. It's the same old song and dance. It's the same old song and dance. It's the same old song and dance.

It's the same old song and dance.