Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 10/15/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #18

Episode Date: October 17, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about Bruce Lee, weed, the UFC and the merits of spending an entire day watching football. Joey's friend Danny B. calls in to after losing touch with Joey for a few years. They talk about Danny's betting service, Joey bringing him guns from Colorado, and Danny's brother who robbed a bank with fishing wire. You wont believe which sports figure Danny has working for him at his company.  Brought to you by Audible.com. Got to audible.com/church for a free audiobook download. Streamed live on 10/15/2012

Today's show is brought to you by audible. Please visit audible podcast.com slash church for your free download I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks What's happening beautiful people welcome to the church of what's happening now the Monday morning edition Get your shit together edition. It's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive and you're fucking alive So get up and do your fucking thing You got Joey Coco Diaz with your co-host the flying Julie Syat in the fucking house Acting goofy as fuck this morning. I might have to stab him You know, he's like one of fucking Rogan's cohorts today asking a thousand fucking questions

Do you want me to do it just fucking do it cocksucker a thousand fucking questions of six no more I can't stand questions at two in the afternoon This guy wants to hit me with a thousand questions of six in the morning just fucking do the thing What's going on Lili Leland? Not much. I had a great night last night. I'm starting six day weeks again soon So I'm just I just enjoyed this weekend, but uh had a lot of fun doing the podcast yesterday and just when you start your six day Weeks, I'm supposed to start it this week, but I have family coming into visit. So after this week I'll be doing it for about a month. How long is your mom coming into visit for a weekend so weekend

That's good two fucking days and you ship it back on a fucking plane. Yeah, perfect She's a nice lady at all, but you could just have her enough. She fucks up Yes, now when she comes in she sleeps on the bed. You got to sleep on the floor like a cat I give her the bed and I sleep on the couch. Yeah fucking bad motherfucker. You can't whack off nothing You can't bring a black chick over and fart in her face Nothing, what kind of fucking Jew are you and you can't fart in a fucking hooker's face? Anyway, it's great to be here to I love fucking Mondays. I've said it before I'll say it again It's you got a new chance at life. It's a fucking beautiful day

You get to do a new week and that's it, you know, we're here. It's a beautiful We got a great guest call in today I didn't have a guest on yesterday's podcast because I got a plate and I couldn't make calls but today I got the the great daily being cool though who We've been friends for close to 30 years and one of my earlier calls Little Timmy Holloway talked about his brother's ear getting bit off. This is the guy that bit it off So that's always good for conversation when you bite somebody's fucking ear off at a New Year's party in 1984 it's always tremendous. I know a lot of years took a beating yesterday in football. That's what happens

We even took a beating with the under. I don't even know what the fuck I was thinking but that happens New England laws and the Giants look fucking great. I mean it really was amazing. How good the giant You look at this Eli Manning guy and he does not look he looks like a fucking guy that would fix your boat on the weekends He has nothing about him looking like a quarterback But let me tell you something when that motherfucker gets throwing you're in no danger. You're not stopping him I got that man. He's grabbing watching now. He's made me a fucking believer Yeah, he he breaks my heart but because he beat the Patriots twice in the Super Bowl, but he He's amazing. He's not he's not as good as Peyton like I like every week you would want Peyton

But it seems like when their teams lose when his team lose or in the Super Bowl He just makes the throws and it's Anyway, yeah, he fucking the problem with this kid is that when it's time to shine He fucking shines and that's it and there's some games during the season He loses a heartbreaker, but he grabs that ball and he fucking marches down the field and he throws it I watched to play yesterday at first touchdown. It was amazing. They just marched down the fucking field and took it That's it. That's how you're supposed to play the game. I sat there and told my wife Look at this fucking while this fucking white kid

This is the way you play the fucking game, but it's like years ago We are the Giants had a quarterback called Jeff hostel horrible horrible, but he played his fucking heart out Phil Sims It's not the best quarterback ever, but he played his heart out He went, you know Phil Sims drew for 23 out of 25 against the Denver Broncos in 87. That's fucking amazing I would make my defense run with their hands up for a fucking year Phil Sims threw four fucking touchdowns against me. He was terrible when he fucking played I don't know people fucking remember, but this Eli Manning. That's his name Eli Manning. Yeah, he don't fuck around He does not fuck around. I mean he's but he's he's made it through the fucking New York press

Which sucks dick New York press sucks dick. I asked that quarterback from the just a little Mexican guy That's T-Ball. They will eat your shit up. You know, he doesn't give a fuck I mean look at the Yankees. I don't know what's going on with them But if you don't want listen the stadium's been empty. They have that have no belief in their fucking team That's a team that I've been watching the last five years and they get worse and worse and worse and when people walk around with The Yankee hat and they're my fucking namesake, you know, I'm in New York or whatever But you look at them and this is a team that gets put together to lose every fucking year And I think the people are fucking sick of it. That's why the stadium was empty

They put a team together to lose it gets fucking frustrating I get sick and tired of watching all-star teams win sometimes and after a while when you don't win That's when it's most fucking embarrassing. I guarantee they got one of the highest payrolls and fucking baseball the highest the highest And it's like I'm watching these fucking egos or whatever the fuck they are and I see this poor Nick Taturo Who I love and my friend George who his grandmother is still in a fucking coma from that cock-dookie You know, they took George's grandmother to the doctor on Thursday Did they really and they said they didn't even know about the weed They said she had a foot infection they gave her antibiotics

That's and George is laughing because he's like he knows he gave her a fucking pot cookie Okay, so for you people who hit me up on Twitter yesterday on the new free Joey Diaz Twitter and said dog What happened with grandma in the fucking cookie? I'm giving you the book report that She fucking ate a pot cookie on Monday at 10 strength from Noho CC whatever the fucking store is and She was still high on Thursday and Friday took it to the doctor the doctor said nah She's got a foot infection so they gave her antibiotics to kill off the pot cookie So that just goes to show America what's really cracker lacking the doctor couldn't even tell she was fucked up to the gills

I'm one of those cookies So that's how strong and untraceable those cookies on the mechanic at the end of the original mechanic Jan Michael Vincent kills Charles Bronson in Italy, but he doesn't kill him like regular people He puts his chemical in the glass and when it mixes with water it becomes a poison fucking tremendous It doesn't show up ispamine or some shit. It shows up as a heart attack in a person Oh, it's fucking beautiful. You know I'm saying so that's the shit that You got a fucking deal with that killed Kennedy. You follow me somebody hit up today with a really important thing About Bruce Lee somebody hit me that they wanted me to talk about Bruce Lee for some reason

Mm-hmm, and how important he was to me growing up It wasn't just to me people if you were around in 1970 if you were a little kid And you got to watch the Greenhorn on Sunday nights when the Greenhorn it came on and he started bit slapping people You lost your fucking mind when the Greenhorn it fought Batman in that episode and they fought in the fucking stamp factory and Everybody knows that that Bruce Lee knocked the fuck out of out of the Robin He threw a fucking kick in that in that series and it's on YouTube and Bruce Lee when Batman fought the Greenhorn on a TV episode It's tremendous, but when they cancel the Greenhorn and that was one thing then they put up all these movies The first one I ever seen was a Chinese connection. I don't care what it got released

I'm talking about the one when they kill his teacher. That is one of the greatest martial art You got to remember when martial art movies came out the first one was five fingers of debt It was about the iron palm technique the guy would show you his hand this palm would get read then they hit you in the belly It's still on you. Oh, Jesus five fingers at that I see that the root to re-driving But I was in the fourth grade and sister Anna's class We just talked about sister Anna the old fucking none and we have this and we watched TV at night I still remember watching happy days and I still remember one of the commercials for happy days

It was the Chinese connection that the promo was on YouTube and Bruce Lee in the school He's doing all these kicks and there's two little Japanese guys coming up from behind them He splits his hands and he hits them both and they both get knocked out If if I had sperm in my body at that age it would have shot on my ears My eye would have shot the fuck out. It was tremendous It really was tremendous that movie and after that this whole country changed This whole country changed if you didn't like Asians any one of them Chinese Japanese you fucking loved them down It was just the weirdest thing. I seen the kung fu in the karate schools pop up

I was part of it. I studied with fucking with a red Lanjo's father, you know, Mr. Orange over there in fucking New York City So I saw what it did for people when Bruce Lee died in 73 because into the dragon was released first in this country Then Bruce Lee died a couple fucking days later. It changed people's lives I still remember going to Chinatown dressed up in a kung fu fucking suit with my karate shoes buying incense My mother thought I was crazy. They were gonna put me in a fucking insane asylum for Chinese people My mother would say what do you want for dinner? You know fucking rice and beans. I go no white rice. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're not Chinese

You know, I was I had incense burning at the time I'd be bowing at people because that's the impact Bruce Lee had so I think that this this this you know The church of what's happened now his traditions Bruce Lee's some of them I borrowed from him You know, he has jikundo, which is a beautiful thing in life. It's a fight. It's a it's a it's an art Where he borrowed he took the most important things from the arts that worked You know, he figured out that, you know, this shit didn't work now that guy white guys are eating fucking steroids So those little punches to the midsection didn't work. So he rewrote a lot of his arts He took the best from most arts. It's like what I do for religion. I take some from the Jews

I take some from the Catholics I take from some Santeria and some from Buddhism. I put it all together I work off one of them. That's what Bruce Lee did when he wrote the tower jikundo It's a fucking phenomenal book if nobody's ever read it It's a phenomenal book and explains his principles a lot of the principles of the church It was having now a lifted from the Bruce Lee principles, which is fucking do something do it That's the most important principle that Bruce Lee wanted from you. He talks about water when he talks about this and energies and When Mike Docher was here the other day, we were talking about weed and how Bruce Lee when he when he died He had weed in the system. He had weed in the stomach

Okay, and when I did our list one time with James Colburn, we talked about it And he said Bruce Lee knew what you motherfuckers now are starting to find out that it's a it works to break down Acid in your muscles and it helps in recovery So Bruce Lee used to eat hash and I know for a fact whenever I go to Kushmore and get those hash cookies When I was 415 pounds and I first started working out my knees with the joints would hurt from even walking on the treadmill So I would eat hash cookies in the next day I felt like I got a finger up the ass and ten fucking massages and so me through 22 darts at me. So What would you say talking about anyway?

Lee Lee Leland on a Monday after Monday fucking morning Drop of knowledge talking about Bruce Lee getting people fired up because that's what I want to do on Monday It's a beautiful day, bro. You got your second fucking chance. You have a second chance at your dream Let's say you want to write a book Let's say you want to fuck the neighbor in the ass and tire up and coming to ride ball Today's your day to start if it didn't work last week today is your day to fucking start you you can do whatever the fuck You want every day. That's why I love the mornings people always hit me up. Joey. You're so excited. You're positive. What positive?

I'm still a fucking douchebag. The whole thing is I look at this as a fucking a whole new day It's a whole new fucking game And that's how I've been looking at this for the last 30 fucking years So I love Monday get up wash your fucking pussy put some music on for these people. What do you got for these cocksuckers Lee? We got pro jam a lot. This is what I'm talking about Lee You know I'm saying I want these motherfuckers to be alive for a lot of people who don't know about Pearl Jam Pearl Jam is a fucking phenomenal band But you when you hit it when you think of fucking Seattle

When you think of Pearl Jam, you think of Soundguard and Allison Chains and Pearl Jam or these other guys Let me tell you something in 1994 95 the first time I heard this fucking out It's amazing this whole fucking side this album made me move to fucking Seattle Soundguard was one thing Allison Chains at the other the other band was one But when I heard this this is like they're like the Dallas Cowboys or the grunge sound They're a machine more fuck the Dallas Cowboys. They're more of a fucking New England Patriot crank that shit Are you kidding me Lee? Don't you feel like going to shoot heroin right now in your little asshole? Wow Can you shoot it in the asshole?

You can do whatever the fuck you want. People are putting ecstasy and something else steroids and putting them in a turkey paste and showing them up their ass people People want to get high people gonna get high, you know what I'm saying? Oh, this is tremendous I Love Pearl Jam, man. I really do. You know, they had some problems. They went up against fucking ticket master People shunned them, but you know what man? They did a bunch of you know a couple years ago They went on tour and they taped every show and sold every show individually put in a brown bag

I mean, I love and right now it's so weird when you want to talk about a band's music You want to talk about their albums? I can't fucking remember the albums off the top of my head But if you have a if you're having a fucked-up day today, that's the song for you the first pro jam out Alive is a fucking monster. Lee Lee Leland the flying Jew looking good as a motherfucker today Got some sleep usually walks in here looking like a fucking Jew gone wild Like he went to temple and somebody tried to mug him in temple, but he looks sharp today He combed his little hairdo today. He's got the back long. He's looking like fucking the father and King of Queens so

You know how we do it wasn't a reefer Lee you didn't fucking smoke Want to give a shout out to my boys your reek of vapor pen fucking tremendous hook this up I'm being the beast podcast brought me up some girls got fucking cookies brought me up some fucking This little tar shit that you smoke. I'm fucking high as a kite today. It's Monday. Talk suck. I got not today You know, I got today yoga Really yoga today from 1145 to 1245 this weekend. I'll be a Minneapolis Joe Rogan I'm definitely gonna go on the Tom Bernard show for your you Tom Bernard motherfuckers I'm going to see my my idol someday. You're gonna get to meet Tom Bernard. He's a fucking savage

Just you talking to Tom Bernard, you know, he knows what the bodies are out of Minneapolis He knows what the fucking bodies are out on Minneapolis. Well, you told me he's the only guy who beat out Stern, right? Yes, there's no Stern I think there's no opium Anthony up in Minneapolis. I mean Minneapolis a nice wide area Don't get me wrong. These people got no time to listen to fucking Stern and Joey Diaz with his filthy mouth Or fucking opium Anthony But when you meet Tom Bernard, you know, he's the truth and I love the truth That's what you know, this whole thing is based on, you know, I'm writing this book You know, and so we and I'm up to the chapter where my mother used to

My mother had a prom at night whenever she get home from the bar that we owned You know, I don't want you to think that my mother's in a bar every night shaking her ass and sucking dick God knows but When my mother owned a bar when she would come home at night, she would always wake me up Till this day, I still wake up Quarter after three just open my eyes look around look at the clock And I think of my mom and I go back to bed sometimes because for years She would wake me up yell upstairs and say Coco. Oh, I brought you something to eat Sometimes she'd bring me a BLT from the four-star diner

Sometimes with Cuba sandwiches from Hernandez. Sometimes it was Chinese food from Manhattan She would stop at Billy Holmes or something. Well, I've opened up the bucket Billy Holmes and It was just amazing. She wake me up and she come in the room turn the fucking light on like it was okay to turn the light on And she here we go the kennel and And She told me about her day all fucked up, you know, she told me about the liquor distribution the guy how much she did in the register Who was who was offensive to her who she had until they go suck their pussy, you know Because my mother would tell you to go fuck yourself in New York minute

She would hug me and tell me she loved me and she'd do a bumper coke and throw away the package in the garbage can Whatever the fuck she was doing I go back to sleep so every night still I still wake up in the middle of night I look around and it's funny because I was telling Lydia that I found my mother dead I got up in the middle night and it's weird because at night when I wake up and I look around I always think that she's around You know her spirits waking me up as a fucking reminder, so it's just really weird. What about I want to be around Did you warm it up today too? Yeah, you just forgot to put it on your headphones. It was on it was on you sure I don't know about you. I gotta check you out. I'm watching you fucking Lee So it's just weird what you do in your life. I'm up to that area in the book when I'm writing about my mother

But the point I'm trying to make that she would tell me the truth. Well, she must have that's I mean She you've talked about it before that she would leave you like a steak or a $20 bill because she was working She was supporting you but that was her way it sounds to me like it was her way of like having like a family dinner What she gets home from work and she wants to talk about her day, but she was doing it in her own way It's in her own way. It's it's really weird to think about that, but uh What she would tell me at three in the morning was the truth without even knowing and I would look her and go this lady's telling me the most deepest fucking intimate Secrets, but it's amazing when you come from a house that tells the truth and don't get me wrong from fucking

11 to 16 or 18 you exaggerate, you know, I exaggerated Whatever I went to see this. It was tremendous and then you're like what the fuck am I exaggerating about? But the truth was always instilled in my house. It was always instilled. That's the best way to get through I mean one of the eyes of time my mama. I don't want to fucking do why do I have to make my bed and she would go You know what? I don't like sucking dick, but somebody's got to do it Your head blows up when your mother says that to you when you're seven years old I mean for years you told me I was gonna be a pussy eater You're gonna eat pussy when you get old. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna afford you fucking talking about eating pussy?

I don't even know what a pussy is and she'd say yes, you do, you know This is what's gonna happen when you get old you're gonna eat that monkey So when you come from a house that had truth like that, it's bad and good I liked it because people always send me Joey when we listen to you. It's the truth. It ain't about the truth It's about the heart the tone in my fucking voice. They know that I'm not fucking around here You know I'm saying Lee they know because in this life everybody fucking bullshit you so when you bump into somebody It's a breath of fresh air. They tell you the truth and sometimes it's not what you want to fucking here But the best people that helped me out of the people that told me what I didn't want to fucking here

Yeah, you're following me nobody does you any good by telling you what you want to hear It's the certain motherfuckers that come to you and go. Hey, this is what happened You know, I had rock or a BC on one of the idols Rocco was on Being the beauty of the beast and I've known Rocco for years and one of the first stories He told me was when he started working with a with Richard Pryor one day that That that the help came in or something NBC came in Oh, no, he told Richard something and Richard said what he told me was maybe you don't remember Because you're doing a lot of blow or something like that

Yeah, I remember the story he said that one of the producers came in and said is Richard doing blow and Like the deal from what I remember from the story was that they said if he if Richard didn't show up That he was gonna get that Rocco would get fired So Rocco went in and asked him in front of all his friends or whatever so Richard fired him For embarrassing him and and then when Richard went to the NBC and said, oh, Rocco said I was doing coke And they they said oh, well, oh, we didn't ask him to say that and Richard's like, oh well at least Rocco Was I didn't like a man So he brought Rocco back and gave him more money and that was a that was a great episode. I that episode blew my mind

just the 10 George Carlin specials and I don't know how many Richard Pryor specials. That's just that that doesn't happen You know when you have that type of eye for comedy, I mean, I love Rocco or a BC I thought I called me a dad always busy. He's doing something Richard Lewis or whatever But I love him and I get angry sometimes because I never got to work with him But hopefully if we shoot this special in January, he'll be around as a consultant. Oh, I would fucking do it He's my uncle. I love me. He's a fucking Chicago. He's one of those Cleveland motherfucking guineas that I love. I love Italian people

I really I always have loved Italian people for what they did for me growing up a lot of people like oh Joey Timbs He's a mom's annoying don't I never had interest in being a fucking mom's to once you and once you listen to Danny Beyond Kulo stories today. He's gonna talk about the ref because he's going partners with the ref that was Doing the games, you know that was doing the fucking games that was betting on the game That's what my boy Danny beyond Kulo is doing the guy gets off probation in two weeks I don't fuck around with so wait. I mean, we'll let him tell the story, but I that's I Can't I can't wait to hear what you mean by partner with the fuck

Do you think you're dealing with here? You motherfuckers think you're dealing with some of these fucking dudes on iTunes that you know They're fucking like comics and they tell you little fucking stories when you deal with Flavia. Yeah, I'm taking you to a different realm You understand me that's fucking unbelievable. I'm taking you to a different realm today with this Danny Beyond Kulo guy. Not only do they beat Rodgers out of Holloway zero No, it was either guy used to bring blow to this is the guy's brother who ate the mushrooms when he was 14 Yeah, fuck I I come in every morning and usually you're getting ready and you're just focused I came in and you had the biggest smile on your face. I didn't know if you ate a pod cook or something

You just you looked at me and you did smile like what is what is going on because I got one You know, it's it's very hard to get my friends to call because they feel like the kids I grew up and don't like cameras. They don't like microphones. They don't like it So it's very hard. We've had been very fortunate with people like Ronnie and George and Loubs and Joey fallado this today is one of my closest buddies this guy saw a different side of me that out You know, I used to bring them guns, you know, I used to bring them guns from New York I got a fucking guns and pick up eight ounces of coke and he was there for all this He was the other side of North Bergen, you know, he was the soul soldier of the fucking year

and the armed forces and the year later they threw him out and He's an HBO thing about sports betting. Okay He was honest 60 minutes had a month or what is that one of those best store sports or one of those shows on HBO had a month for Gambling he sells advice and stuff like that But it's just very weird to know I went back for 30 years with this kid He's one of the guys from my hometown that always have the same motivation the same thing as me We're gonna party. We're gonna some people gonna fall off along the way But we're gonna make some fucking money, you know, when I was stealing coke in Colorado in the late 80s

This is where I was getting my coke from I was taking a plane to New York So this call today is one of those calls where you're like Jesus Christ. It's really gonna open up things to people I'm not here because I'm so fucking and I'm not here bragging about this. I just want you motherfuckers know what the other sides about I want you to know what murky waters are about you know You guys listen to all these Hollywood fucking douchebags with their stories and whatever and half of these motherfuckers can't break an egg to make Themself a sandwich and they just walk around with this little fucking attitude like they're cool Whatever because they have some you know what like people would say you're humble

I got nothing all I got is this fucking throat and me talking to you motherfuckers And if you want to listen you listen half of these motherfuckers ain't even telling you the fucking truth They live you know I do these movies with this guy that played fucking three games in football and he talks like he was in the NFL for 15 Fucking years, but all you Holly would suck asses believe him and you talked to me like yeah So how was the guy played three fucking games in the NFL and he talks like he was on football for 18 Like he's Alex fucking Karris rest IP Alex Karris died last week that bad motherfucker I remember him from one of the TV shows as a kid with growing pains or some black kid that ran away

Is that weird I was I wanted to bring up yesterday I just forgot I'm getting to the point where a lot of the players I grew up with are retiring and getting really old Is that is that weird when people like you you grow up with are dying or getting like when you see like a Guy you grew up with at like a news conference, and he's suddenly 70 years. What a football or sports Yeah, who gives a fuck, you know the only thing that counts is when you go You know I'm saying who gives a fuck just the problem with America is and all these kids You know yesterday I want my wife to wash the car and I really gotta tell you something for you people will focus on voting in this Country's changing Obama and Romney they can change a lot of things

But they can't change the most important thing that our country's going through and that's fucking common stupidity That's what we we have in this country. We have a common fucking stupidity people who don't give a fuck This this country is not gonna change by fucking some black guy or some fucking waspy fuck with his little Eddie monster Fucking Herman monster fucking this country changes with you this country changes with us You know if you're gonna pull over use your fucking blinker if you're gonna stop just pull out You know you this this we're living in a fucking land where people just care about themselves You know we have this country have this beautiful fucking country, and we got these leaders and that's what we put it on We put our bullshit on these fucking leaders like they got a common change and no this can they can only do so much

We have to do the other half the common fucking stupidity in this country Is amazing and I have no job, but you got time to worry about who the fuck is winning and losing and some stupid fucking game You know, it's amazing. It's fucking it's never baffled me. Listen, man When you're a kid, you're a fan of somebody and when they die they die the day Julius Irving dies was my sports idol I'm gonna be sad for five minutes then life moves on and then we got a life But half of these fucking momos I got this guy online that's asking me the dumbest fucking question Whether who cares about and this is silver Nick Diaz. What difference does it make? It's never gonna fucking happen So why are you worrying about something that has nothing to do or nothing?

Nothing with your merit in life and what you have going for yourself Instead of thinking about whether this guy's gonna fight this guy think about how you're gonna put together 20 bucks today Think about your fucking future think about what you're gonna do to make somebody's fucking day That's the most important thing we worry about 60% of shit That's got nothing to do with us then we worry about why isn't something happening in my life because you're worrying about shit That has nothing to do with you dog, you know, it's got somebody calling us Oh, I just keep looking down to make sure I don't miss it. But it's well, I'm sorry No, no, but and it's not there are people I was more it just it's starting to freak me out

Just that like that they're doing that but I understand what you're saying where people get really Well, you gotta worry about your 24 years old is sucking some chicks pussy every fucking night if you're not doing that You shouldn't be watching I talked to you yesterday You left here looking like somebody side kicking the stomach Tying them up and then he I know that and then you go home and I said you just sleep no I watch football you fucking crazy turn that shit off I get one day a week as a fuck get some shit and get some rest then you wonder why you're fucking tired You went home yesterday and watch two games of football had nothing to do with your fucking life

You could have taken a nap got up and walked around the park for an hour and come back and watch the last quarter of the New England Game think about that. That's what you do. Who cares about three quarters That's fucking 36 minutes of your life that you could be doing plus commercials that you could be doing so many fucking things You watch the last quarter of a fucking game. I mean That would be the best way to live but at some I mean at some point you can't just you What is the first three quarters have to do with your merry nothing nothing no, you don't know fucking thing No sports means anything. We're just agreeing But at some you also can't just live you I don't know me personally I couldn't I mean I should

But yeah, I'm working so much. I you have six days a week You don't have time to do anything else But you got time to watch two fucking football games on a couch like a Momo You didn't make any money on them. You didn't fucking bet them. They make they don't make any change in your fucking life Instead you could have slept for two hours taking a walk around the park and watch the last quarter of the New England game You follow me that's I know you're working five days and whatever the fucking thing But you found you ain't making money on these fucking games We want you these fucking games for because you're a fan of what a fucking sit on a couch and listen to worthless information

commercials and fucking Geico and and all this shit you could just watch a quarter of a fucking game and get the same shit and done something This is what I'm saying. You could this is what I'm saying But then why do you watch a fucking Sons of Anarchy? It's one hour a week all all the fucking things I do one hour You follow me. You can't watch the last 15 minutes of son's anarchy You gotta watch the whole thing When you watch a game at least if you watch it with one quarter left if they're getting killed You don't need to watch and then you go write some jokes or do jumping jacks or something like this

But for fucking people to sit there all day like bumps on a log. I've never done that I don't know what that feeling is like to go to a bar on a Sunday at ten in the morning and sit there all fucking day And watch football and then wonder what the fuck is going on with my life So you wouldn't you wouldn't be able to do that you'd freak out a million fucking years unless I bet 10,000 on the game and I'm sitting there yelling at fucking black people for dropping fucking balls If there was a pocketbook, you wouldn't drop it You follow me and I don't mean this in a racist way, but this is you follow You understand me what's wrong with America you to fucking America

This is it you sat there for fucking six hours yesterday But you're never gonna get back If you could have done something for two slip for two and then watch football for two No, you're at nothing different what happened in your life. Nothing would have happened if I didn't watch it But for me when I'm working 60 hours a week plus this I mean I see five hours of fucking night You know that after you're a monster and they you cannot this is why this when you when you're putting your life into a career There's no hours. I like these people. I work 50 hours a week

What are you gonna do hang on with your fucking momo buddies go talk to your fucking girlfriend about what about what? You know, this is all part of it. It's so weird even with comedy when I see comedians and they're like I did this on the weekends I did that you didn't do comedy You didn't do comedy Well, I understand that if I had taken a night off of work to watch a football game Like if like tonight if I wanted to watch Monday night football and I said, I'm gonna use the sick day and not get paid I understand that I don't know man No, you could have done a thousand things yesterday and so could have to people in this fucking country

They sit there all mud employed. Well fucking fill out 22 fucking resumes during the game because at the end of the fuck I'm serious. I watched this even even as a kid. I fucking watched this and said, I don't know how people gonna do this I don't know how people do this six hours and then the Monday night game and the other game at the end of the week You do be doing so much you can be doing so much and I'm not saying don't watch sports and don't advocate sport The other day I fucking the prelims are on my don't you was coming over at 6 30. You know what? I'll watch the pay card I'll take the prelims and I went and worked out for one hour even though I wanted to watch the prelims I wanted to watch a glace and t-bar, but you have to cut deals with yourself in life

Fuck all this shit sitting there for six hours with your ass up stinking scratching watching some fucking game Unless you get fucking paid unless you're betting fucking 80,000 on the game and you're watching I've never been able to do that. I don't know why now Can you take vacations or not in a million fucking years players don't take me You want to go somewhere for a day or two and fuck around with people and listen to that bullshit But the whole time in your mind you're thinking about you know, I don't understand these people no more I don't understand this country. I had a friend who took a vacation this summer for what for what six days seven days for What so you don't burn out like for me? I have planned I'm going home the week between Christmas and New Year's right

And I can't fucking wait. I already told people once you're there for three days You're gonna want to come back here Once you're there for three days because you're 24 and every time you go home You'll see that it's changes and against different and different you know this that's why when people come to me I'm going home for eight days. Good luck stupid and after three days only whoo. This is rough I got to see my brother. Yeah, you have a life here. You know I'm saying people have a lie Everybody in this country always wants to go vacation, but they haven't fucking done nothing. Oh and speaking of that We got a call from oh shit

What's happening brother What's going on my friends, how are you my man fucking Danny be here Danny in the room is the flying Jew Lisa. Yeah, hey Good man. He's 24 years old. So we're gonna school these motherfuckers today We were just here talking about gambling and watching games. I haven't I can't watch a game if I don't bet it Danny Now, you know what it fuels it coax. That's the bottom line. Yeah, well, you know, especially the NBA I can never watch and it's like watching fucking tennis back and forth Yeah, you have to have some action on it to make it work. Wow. That's what this freaking David Stern needs to realize out there It's the gambling that fuels it

Really does especially on the Lord's Day with football and whatnot. I can't even when I was a kid We go to corkies or something and I bet a giant game or whatever some fucking game I couldn't I couldn't sit there and watch the whole thing I need to fucking go get some space and then come back and watch the last quarter of it But anyway for these guys that don't know Danny I was telling them that you grew up with me. We grew up together I met you when we were kids that I didn't see you for a long time and then you had joined the army You became the soldier of the fucking year in the army

And then uh, that's correct. That's correct at ease at ease at ease motherfuckers and then I was very proud and uh Just let's go through it Danny. Talk to me. Tell me what happened after soldier Yeah Well, you know, as you know, I mean a lot of shit's happened since then I've been Abducted by the mafia released by the mafia been to jail Been been all over the place cocoa, but things have changed. It's kind of calmed down since 1994 for me Got into the handicapping business actually went out to california to learn to trade and You know moved back to the east coast and you know

A lot has gone. I don't have enough fucking time to tell you what's gone on. We haven't seen each other Do you remember we used to work for frank colletto lisa or frank colletto cars that place always talked to you on the phone You were selling cars Yeah, you know, that was a long time ago. I was in the 80s, man I mean, I know we've partied a lot since then but yeah, that was the 80s Now I haven't sold cars and I wasn't very good at it I used to steal the cars more than sell them as soon as the shop closed nine o'clock. I'm out there acting like Acting like I'm the man, but you know what? It's funny. I was

Unfortunately, I went to a funeral yesterday here in north bergen veneeries You're very familiar with the place and it just took me back in time When we were kids hanging out partying in that place remember how Middle of the night we go back to the joint and the dead bodies would be laid out on I'll tell you what there was enough cocaine in that place to stir up the dead And it kind of brought me back yesterday and I was just thinking about you too I'm glad that you got in touch with me. It was funny because I don't know how many times I snorted at venerys there

We would go back there If the dead could talk that would be a place that they can talk unless they were too paranoid to talk because I remember a lot of that as well I remember having a chick in one of the rooms like he has three rooms where they view the bodies And there was a body laying there and I don't know what chick I had tizio somebody I had then I was working I'm like trying to get it to suck my dick I'm snorting little bumps, and then I look over there's a dead body in the fucking room people would not even It was probably jimmy lebrano and he was alive

We were alive, but we were really dead back in the day, you know, but I'll tell you what You know, I I have no regrets. We had a lot of fun Made a lot of mistakes, but I could look back to this day and just laugh my ass off talking to you Anybody that I bumped into a couple of months. I bumped it a month ago. I bumped into sabatino You remember sabatino, of course Fuck he lived on charles cool Let me tell you something about sabatino and tell these guys he lived two doors away from john pronga Who a lot of the movies coming out next month the iceman kills and these motherfuckers didn't know that that iceman guy had a

Studio by uh by regos house, but sabatino lived two doors down from john pronga mr. Softy Did you fucking know that I know I remember that The iceman yeah, did he know what my brother gary, you know, he's still locked up He might be coming home after 20 something here. You want to talk about well, that's probably another show We probably would need a whole show to talk about. Oh, please I still remember when I brought the mushroom from colorado to new jersey And I left them on the dinner table and you and I were in your bedroom and we heard crunching

And we go back in the fucking living room and it's gary eating the fucking mushrooms like their potato chips He's 14 and we we go out that night even been 12 Me you ruso we go out we come back and all the lights in the house are turned off And we turn the light on and he's sitting on the couch and he goes what i'm not tripping You ain't have to bag a fucking mushrooms You know the last time I did mushrooms Out in colorado, I believe you actually got them for us from not mistaken and We were driving from colorado aspen to la in a rented car

We get hit with a freaking a rainstorm can't find a windshield wipers. We're fucking laughing hysterical Next thing I know the rain stops and we're fucking dangling off the cliff almost so that's the last time I took any hallucinates You know, I've done my share of drugs over the years, but that scared me straight back then I was telling you know what life has been good coke. I I know you've done well for yourself It's good to hear some success stories out at north bergen, which there ain't too many You know, but a lot of good friends. We lost over the years, but it's good to see somebody doing well besides me Yeah, life is good. I can't complain. You know, it's been a long rough road, but life is freaking good I can't complain. You know, Danny. I want these guys to understand how lucky

You and I are the most these guys are to still be here I wake up every morning and I fucking give thanks to the lord because Danny a lot of things could have happened in our lives, especially the guys like you and I we were out there, Danny Danny, do you remember when I wanted you remember with my stepfather? Tell these motherfuckers. I remember a story remember when I was going to war at my stepfather after my mother died He wouldn't give me money and you were friends with this cube Malagamba Malagamba was his name you were friends with him in west new york

And you went to him and said somebody's got to help cocoa and he said tell cocoa to come see me I had grown up with malagamba. He used to go to my mother's bar all the time That's how long me and danny go back Danny was the guy that uh, man when I used to pick up guns in colorado And I'd fly him back to jersey. Danny would pick me up at the airport. We go back to his house. He would cook for me He'd give me the package. I'd give him the guns and I'd see him a week fucking later And I still remember the night when we went to the different house And the pipes had broken and it was flooded

And you left me there with your sister and two other guys or whatever And for two days I remember snorting below in this basement with the fucking water on And we were we just wrapped our legs up. That's how fucking crazy we were Danny It's funny. It's ironic that year. I just heard glory days from uh, Bruce springston and reminiscent you want to talk about reminiscent I passed that house yesterday my brother jimmy I don't know if you remember jimmy. He joined the navy. He stayed away been through all the wars So after 25 years, I finally get a chance to see him because I just turned 50 on thursday coax

So we had a little uh reminiscent. I just passed the dead end dorm avenue That was jimmy bassiano's bringing house the dungeon if you want to call it. Yes. Yes I definitely remember that place jimmy behind the high school I took him through a tour of north bergen and then finally we stopped at veneerie's funeral to see his uncle had passed He's my half brother But yeah, I saw some people that I remember this guy's got an eye on this side of their head They're a mess man. These people are a mess in north bergen. So the best thing you and I did was get the fuck out of I always knew I wanted to get the fuck out of there. I always knew I remember before I left

Danny nobody threw a party like daddy. He would rent a hotel three different suites Fucking blow for everybody not even ask you for a dollar Danny's always been very fucking generous and just I mean, I don't know how many fucking jams you got me out of But uh, when I started doing this show, I definitely thought of you man Well, you know what? I'm I'm so happy for your success. I turn on the tv I see you're on somebody's shows You know the longest yard definitely sticks out when you're laying on the fucking the turf fucking eat the hamburger I was fucking a typical funny shit. But yeah, you know what? That's been my nature, you know

And as far as my spending habits they ain't fucking changed right now. I'm looking at uh, new york city You know, I live right on river road now. I my home's in allen town, pennsylvania. But my offices are up in north jersey I don't go up the hill because when I did the last time I started telling you back in april I hooked up with john mehan And fucking sabatino and that's I haven't stayed out all night since the fucking 80s But this particular april night boy, I got into trouble and that's the last and then I saw sabatino a week later He asked me for a couple a hundred dollars and that's the last I heard from him So some things haven't fucking changed. But yeah, I'm on the Hudson river looking at the intrepid

You know, uh the space shuttle The space shuttle's parked right across from there. I'm just having fun, man. I'm making money having fun and You know, have a couple of kids So, yeah, I can't complain. But somebody's fucking We had timmy our halloween here talking about the time you've been his brother's ear off That was way before fucking mike tyson. I've been here. I've been his ear off It was 1983 christmas eve party at the ligio's house at the league in general. My cousin got into a spiff coffee was there mcneal

You know, and then Roger that was getting the best of james or whatever. I forgot what happened But I just decided to fucking bite his ear off. I don't know. I was a little hungry, but I remember driving him home No, we were all friends for 20 fucking years. So that was just a bad night Yeah, yeah, no, we we were friends a week later, you know, but no, we were all very close as you know You've had joey felato on your show mike runny, you know, if the walls could talk weakens boy Mike ask Elise I I'm glad I got away because some of the people haven't changed. They look bad. They look like they're 80 years old They're still snorting. They're still staying out to the break of dawn

But I do have fond memories of this place and uh, definitely of you because you were a good man, too You come off from the streets, man. You had a rough life. So I'm proud of you, bro You're done. Well, you got a name for yourself You know, and I just wish you nothing but success, you know, you know That's that's the bottom from the bottom of my heart and d if you know anything about us I wasn't even going for this man. I just was I just wanted to do something with my life and make the people in north american proud You know I'm saying I went to prison I got out of prison and I got into comedy and I always wanted just to all those people took care of me

They a lot of people took care of me, bro A lot of people a lot of sandwiches a lot of people gave me 20s And uh, I'm not gonna tell you I'm gonna give them back the 20s But I will tell you that I want them to be proud of me and I wanted, you know Hey, they'd be happy with a 20. They'd be happy if you give them a 20 dollar bag of blow Yeah, they don't you want them on them. They don't even you know, they're still the same And it's so good dude, man. So you got into trouble. You had no guidance either that I you know, I went to jail You know, no shame or not. It's the best thing that ever happened to me because

Ironically after jail, I went out to california And that's how I got into the business that I'm in now and I just excelled at it I always was a very personal person and I can talk and captivate and so I found my niche man On radio shows it got over a thousand radio shows 300 television appearances appearances, excuse me So, yeah, man, I made a name for myself in the handicapped world It's still a gray area. The people say, oh, he still hasn't changed He's still up to something but uh, you know, fuck them. That's what I said You know, you said something Danny that I wanted to point out

You said I grew up with no guidance and Mike Duffy always says that that after 14 I really had no guidance And I explained to these guys that you know, I learned this life by the fucking plays in my own book by failing You know, I didn't have a lot of the options that people had, you know When I had $10 if a chinese restaurant had a special I couldn't go have the curry chicken at this place and make it It couldn't be, you know, I had to go somewhere where I knew So that my life has been I learned from the playbook that we fucking wrote a guy like you wrote it

You had no fucking guidance. I mean you were out there doing the same thing I was out there in a young teenage fucking age and you know, I wake up every morning Like I said Danny and we could have been raped people would have done taken advantage of us And none of that happened. We made our own way. I'm gonna be 50 in February. My wife is pregnant Danny. Did I tell you that? Good for you. No, but I am excited You want That is the best thing that can happen to you or me or anybody that that grounds us that made me a man having a kid So I'm happy for you. I really am. No, well, I had a kid before but Danny I gotta

I gotta Then you'll be a bigger man or a better man I had a kid. I had a kid before and I failed as a father. So I really get a second chance at this Danny, you know, I get a second chance I always tell guys a story about one day when I was at your house Danny I see one of the most because I left north bergen and I got re in touch with you and ruso And I went to your house one day and I saw something that till this day Well, I I heard about the time when your mom tried to shoot you one of my guns

That was one time. No, no, it was my brother. No, we it's fucking ironic, man If you this was a day earlier, we Sort of tree I took my brother jimmy down. I'm like, you remember when mommy shot gary with the 357 and I explained to him that which Fresh from colorado And my mother was I was like I walked and I got fucking like a few ounces of coke in the house I come home and they're like, yeah, mommy just shot gary. I'm like, is he dead? What the fuck the cops come? Thank god, louis stitzer a friend showed up. Yes squashed it, you know, I squashed it

But uh, yeah, she she pulled it out. I'm like, what the fuck you could have killed. I know what I'm doing But honestly, my brother gary, I I speak to him. He calls in from jail. Uh, you know once or twice a week He brings it up. You know what he said ally deserved it. I was talking fresh to her That's the guilt my mother put on him. He feels that he did something well No kid deserves to be shot never mind But Hey, what about what about the time he robbed the bank with the fishing fucking string? Well, well, yeah, well gary, you know, obviously he's been on america's most wanted. He was uh, roommates

For a while next this next cell over from mark david chatman who killed john lennon Uh, he's been he got kicked out of attica. They kicked him out of attica He bit some peg in space off And because he refused protective custody because they had a hit on him But the the correctional officers requested for the safety and well-being of the prison system That he'd be relocated. He's been through a lot gary, you know And they let him out of jail for uh four days two years ago because he robbed a bunch of banks So they put him in a halfway house. I pick him up. I put new clothes on him put money in his pocket

You know, uh, and we drop him off at the halfway house. He's there on a tuesday On a friday the fucking jersey parole comes in gun Boom, they take them down for a parole violation. So they gave him four days of freedom after fucking like 20 years And uh, they were hoping that he probably wanted to dig up the money the money that he stole years prior So he might be on his way home here at the end of the month If not, he's still got another three to serve out. So but yeah, man, I tell you what I Just wish they'd get him the fuck out because he wasn't a bad dude. You know, gary was always nuts Right. He was nuts, but he was a good dude. He's fun. Daddy was I seen him a couple times

He's done 25 fucking years almost for fucking a little somebody robbed a bank or two. They're insured. It's what the fuck What the fuck, you know, I know they make such a fucking big deal He didn't kill nobody that didn't deserve to be killed. I mean it wasn't like he was A bad guy gary was always a good dude and you know, I've had some people fuck with me You know the business thumb and you know, it's kind of shady. We deal with a lot of fucked up people I've had some people do me wrong and His only mission in life is to get out of jail to go ahead and take care of the people that are hurt me I'm like, no bro. Just relax

You don't need to be taken care of big brother's problems But he's still a mess. He's about a buck 50 But as crazy as the word man crazy is the word now then he put a fucking fishing line in a In a bank deposit one night and pulled out a fucking bank and went to hawaii. Wasn't that him? Oh, he's done it all he tried to break into the mcdonald's and little ferry and he didn't see the glass and he Come running in and got bounced off because they replaced the glass with plexiglass because last time he robbed it He ran so he bounced off He's had a lot of stupid shit one time he he robbed the guy and it turned out that he got a bag of

Bagels remember he robbed the bagel guy and he didn't get the most here's the most famous thing he's ever done He's scouting out tgi fridays and sea cork is You know, he's got this big man. My brother was if he saw something on tv, he lived it He couldn't decipher Right from long, you know, he he didn't realize that the hawk was fake He thought if you know, you take your shirt off you grow and whip it up But he reality was not in gary's no concept of reality is the word i'm looking for All right, but the worst thing he did was he scouts out

tgi friday saturday morning bright and early as soon as they open up He goes in there with the mask the guns Fucking takes the first bag that they they give him kind of like about 1800 bucks in it The next day in the newspaper it says tgi fridays robbed robber leaves 48 000 behind So that's my brother he fucking go in to make a score and always leave with pennies I that story of his life, so You know all the time he's done in jail. I mean he might have robbed a few hundred thousand dollars But probably left a few millions behind in a lot of his scams

Hey, danny, I was telling uh, I was telling somebody, you know, we're talking about the falado thing with the juice And I remember one time you were on the phone making a drug deal You were doing a blast. Yeah, you were you're on the phone making a drug deal You were doing a blast and at the same time they were shooting you with a shot of deck in the ass I will never fucking forget that I'm still ripped from that You are one of the craziest motherfuckers ever Ever these people would not if you and I sat down in a room they put cameras on us

They would pay us $50 a seat just to hear the fucking stories One but we got hours these reality shows You want a reality show come to fuck booboo baby booboo baba whatever the fuck that redneck kill billy shows about Come to fucking north bergen plant some cameras around that area. That's a fucking reality show You know right now that's right now governor christy Is trying to oust our mayor they're trying to do everything they could because you know our town is the kinkiest motherfuckers ever And uh right now for all these yeah for all these people who know governor christy isn't jersey He's trying to get our mayor out like he's against our mayor

I think jersey city's mayors against north bergen man man sacco So i'm sitting here waiting for fucking venery to become the mayor. That was the original plan That's funny. It's funny as mentioned him. It's all this in last april when I went out with uh, Which sabatino and me and we went down to jimmy b's Bump into venery. He had three girls on his side. He got you know, he got a little Little heavy welcome, but it was good to see him But I asked him the same thing. I said when are you going to be the fucking man around here? He said to me. I already am Well, I'm I'm waiting you know, I'm sorry. What's that? I'm sorry. Go ahead

No, no, I I'm on a cordless headset So I don't know if I missed you or anything because I kind of walk man I feel like I'm still on blow and I haven't done it in years But no, he he basically said that he is the man in north bergen already So don't be surprised if they do get that That may are out of there. You won't you'll see venery in there I would love to you know what even makes me what evens more fucked up the number tony barley. Yeah. Yeah, he's an hoboken, right? He's the fucking he's the fucking like the head cop in hobo. Yeah

The guy used to take us through the link through just drive through the Lincoln tunnel with his bearage to go pick up a couple of Kilo so we didn't get stopped now. He's running the fucking place. Listen. He got me This place is the armpit of the world. He got me a fucking job about two years ago He got me a comedy gig in hoboken for christmas And I went up there and started talking about doing blow in north bergen The cops were running out of there when I got off. He goes to take the money and leave. That's He goes take the money and leave, you know, I I have an office too on 80 river street right by the pass, you know, and I see you know

I didn't get a chance to say hello. I see my kachati a lot Uh, jason abramowitz. I'll bump into once in a while But you know, I kind of I see these guys and I gotta keep my distance, you know, because I'm still that type of guy I mean I'm not an addict, but believe me. I can abuse it. So you take me out for one drink. I'm fucking. I'll see you Remember used to call me denny beyond cool Because I'd be I'd be out. I'd be sleeping all day like a vampire down cool Or there's another name. They used to call me monday

You see me friday night, and then I surfaced monday afternoon. Remember moody was the dealer Moody was one of the dealers for georgia amaco on the corner. We went to high school If you went to georgia amaco said george, I need a grandma coke He'd say don't ask me that and two days later moody would call you and roger halloween will always go Where's moody? I gotta see moody because if we start on moody, we won't come home till friday moody the cuban god Isn't it? Bro, we could go we had some laughs man. These guys don't fucking know about differences What what's that problem these motherfuckers never know when I tell these stories on the rogan podcast and whatnot

They don't understand You know, I was telling them about carmine basano who used to have a flea market in the daytime and at night It was a go-go bar Donald tonnelly avenue you can't explain what about the meadowlands bar I think you were in the army the meadowlands bar with tina patrillo would sit on a galliano bottle And on wednesday nights, it was a rotting banana night and you give them two hours And they take a banana and shove it in their pussy and give it to you and you bit it off You can't tell these stories to people

My stomach's curdling. Yeah, tina patrillo Oh, but I got one better. I got one better the cove and i remember the cove and guttenberg the little side street Yes, the guy with the wig The place was the size of a prison cell Yes, they would have fucking girls dancing on the fucking table right there They didn't speak a word of english dropping their pussy hairs all over the bar and we didn't care We didn't give him and the owner had a wig. I remember the owner had a wig He was disgusting and one night we went in there for any bossa sudo caused problems

And the guy gave us fucking free cocktails. You shit. What about when I robbed michaels jeweler's tell these motherfuckers, dan Oh my god, I bought so I think I still got a fucking one of those chains from there. What were they snake chains back in the day? Yeah, yeah, we like rope chains rope rope chains back in the day. Yeah, you know what we can talk and talk and I had some laughs. I don't have any fucking regrets You know, I wish I could have done things a little differently But the bottom line if I don't follow my course in life. I don't meet my wife. I don't have my kids So regrets now. I don't have any I could have done things differently You know, I probably spent two or three million dollars that I shouldn't have spent but hey

I can it's only fucking money dead presidents. You can always make that tell these guys about what you're doing now What you're doing now Well, um, as you know, you were in a handicap happen businesses We hope guys that are betting on the ball games. We break down. We have a lot of contacts You know, I worked for the offshore casinos for many years So I have ties and you know, we just give advice on the games, you know We sell our advice whether they buy on the internet or they call us for that Everybody's tweet me text me email me. Fuck that call me for Christ's sake. How do my how am I gonna sell you if I don't talk to you?

So, uh, I do handicapping on my partners the former NBA referee Tim Donaghy Who went to jail for uh, betting on the NBA and The mob involved. So yeah, he's my uh, he's my partner of all things How do I know I got the Pete Rose of fucking basketball as my partner life is fucking funny out of all the fucking people in the world I wind up with Tim Donaghy on my lap. Imagine that What's the web page they could go to to check out your stuff and your hits and what now what you got going on Yeah, you could there's a couple of them, but make this one simple This way there's no confusion. Dan be as in boy wins.com Dan's be wins.com

You can check out some of our podcast videos Somebody articles we write, but it's nothing, you know, pretty simple. I don't get into the fancy shit If you like me great, if not, fuck you call somebody else. That's my attitude Because the the bottom line is I do have a little advantage in his business, but it's still gambling cocoa The manpower and it's hard to pick winners But we take a lot of the work out of the four yen, you know, bottom line Everybody loses in a long one because they're all bit generous But uh, you know, it's it's been a good it's been a fun

I've made millions of dollars got arrested lost 14 million dollars. Why a wager act? I mean Jeremy Ronick the hockey player was my client. I I've seen it all been there done that cocoa life has been I tell people I got more miles on me than the space shuttle and I ain't bullshitting We need I mean I tried it. So I was just talking to Lee about Football watching football Danny. When can I call up your radio show? Tell them about your radio show I want to call it next week. Well Well, we here's the deal. It's not live. That's fine. It's uh coast to coast

We pre-record on a wednesday or thursday. We download it to the stations But out in los angeles your home on klac every saturday morning That's the am 570 at 7am california time and throughout the the nation different times kansas city new york buffalo all over the place But yeah, we talk sports. We break nights talk some jokes. We can't curse though on my show That's fun fucking funny. I can curse and get away with it. I like it. I'm gonna call up in two weeks I like to call up in two weeks and talk, but I want you to come on on a certain sundays and give a game out Or your partner give a game out Because uh, you can help these guys out a lot and I want them to know who the fuck you are

You know what is the show and and what time you guys start at six o'clock out there? No, we started six. We usually go to about seven fifteen. You know, that's it, but I just want to give you a little fucking love into what we do and let people know Who the fuck I hung out with as a kid and how much love I got for you because while I was talking to you I'm glad that life has treated you good. You deserve in that hand again He has more stories than dr. Seuss. That's for sure 90% of them are true. We fucking lived it though. We lived it from mugger the hooker With albie mutes and those guys the fucking I mean

I'm very proud and very sad about my life at times, but I would never regret it. I got no fucking regrets They could all suck on this Always a funny motherfucker. Oh, I remember the first act. I saw you do was at kadeskos That's right 93 or 94. That's right. That's those you were you were fucking jammin on fucking jimmy labrano. That's right Lebrano that was the funny I I saw you there and I said this guy's gonna do well for himself and then I see you years later on tv We spoke over the years, but it's been a couple of years. Last time I spoke to you was a few years ago I was on my way to la

Are they inviting me out to to audition me for a reality show? And the more I talked to you about that what a waste of my fucking time I went out there fucking bringing the family fucking 10 minutes. Okay. We'll let you know Like what the fuck let me know. I'll let you know motherfuckers My life is more interesting than than fucking the shit that they put on fucking tv and so is yours Oh, please Had a great time man hung out with magic johnson Ocho cinco

And pereloans was there was a good time bud, but we need to hook up soon. Greg was just here my cousin Greg was just here at marge was here Uh, yeah, we had a good time on my birthday. We ate a little chink food. Danny. I love you with all my fucking heart And I'm happy you called This is one of the best podcasts ever Any time any time Yeah, I'll call you I'll call you My world is interesting till I talk to you earlier. We have uh, mario cantone

And you've done some stand-up with him right mario cantone from sex in the city fame His uh, his brother joey works with me. He was a stock broker for his whole life The generate gambling needs more help than I can give him but anyway, he's he's over here helping We had a great crew of guys, you know, besides tim donagy. I got other athletes uh That uh that used to play in the game and it's it's going to be an interesting year All's I'm telling everybody out there is this uh, november night Friday night november night palace takes on the nicks at the garden

me and tim donagy Making his debut in over five years will be sitting next to mark cuban. It could be quite interesting I'd love to see espn that night. I love you. Danny. I will give you a call today in the morning We'll talk about doing your radio show when you come back on Yeah, so the bottom of my heart man lots of love out there and congrats on a new kid and Just continue success brother man and be yourself. Be real like you always say always stay black, right? You always tell me stay block. I haven't figured it out yet, but I do stay tan I stay tan. Maybe if I put some iodine in my body lotion or something

Anyway, joe have a great day man. Give me a call when you got some free time. I'll give you call I'm gonna pump the iodine. I don't I don't have no steroids though. I need some steroids. I'll get a little soft Listen, I'll talk to you I'll talk to you in a little bit joe. Thanks for having me on the show. Thank you, brother. Take care buddy. You're welcome Well people that's just to let you know that's uh Is he is he the is he the family who had the the the junky brother like brown the house down cooking french fries? No, that's a de lorenzo's we'll talk to him about the de lorenzo. He just He just hung out with Kurt. I tried to tell you people I've been trying to tell you people for a long time that

Uh, I got some fucking crazy motherfuckers in my corner and that was one of them And here's the funny story. He talked about the descos the guy's name. He was talking about was gonzo Gonzo manages a bunch of comics now. Gonzo used to do a room at the descos They found out that there was comedy at the descos and they went down there And they asked the guy nicely to put me up and the guy said no and then they took him in the back They sat him down and talked the guy into me going on stage that night That's a true story. Holy shit. They made the guy an offer. They couldn't fucking refuse. Coco's getting on stage It will blow this fucking place up

And they got me on stage and that's the people I grew up with people want to know how crazy I am Why I don't give a fuck. You just heard it in that kid's voice. I mean, uh We that was the guy I used to pick the guns up bring him from colorado, new jersey He picked me up. His mother would cook pasta for me. We'd go to his house The buyers would be ready at his house. We trade off the guns for the blow I take the cash and get right back on the fucking plane Jesus now is his brother still because I I remember the story of the fishing line and the deposit Is he still in jail from that? He's still in jail not from that, but many other things. You just heard he's

Okay, I didn't I didn't know how long ago. Yeah, this is this is the real fucking deal This isn't the bank robberies and and robbing and I'm happy I always had Danny in my life because uh like your mother fuck is no just case anything goes down These are the people I got in my life. I've always had these guys and these are the people that keep me grounded When I talk to them it reminds me of what I was and it reminds me of who I am today And it keeps me grounded I can give a fuck about these hollywood people that just lie to you all these fucking mooks that I'm surrounded with That's why I get along with Lee. Lee doesn't fucking bullshit me. We have a great relationship. He wants to do live podcasts

I asked him are you fucking crazy? So we're here, but uh, I'm happy you guys listen to them Happy that this went over a little bit. This was a great podcast. We had pearl jam on today Yeah, we talked a little about fucking what are we talking about football and how important it is to live your fucking life Don't worry about what's on tv. Lee. You're 24 years old. You have a million football games in your future Right now. I want you to live. I want you to be a part of the church of what's happening now Which is about living everything else is background fucking music, bro You know, we I don't have stories because I sat at home to watch football I have stories because I went out there and lived your fucking life. Don't worry about all this dumb shit

This computer was great for an hour or two or that that you got to live your life Everybody wants stories. You want to have a fucking action? You got to live your life. Take a fucking shot During those football games go to a bar and the first chick you see go in there and say I want you to suck my dick for 300 hours. That's a story even if she smacks you now You have a challenge in your life make this life challenging and fucking fun You see a cracker on the corner make a u-turn try to put her in the trunk of the car That's fucking fun on a sunday afternoon I'm gonna sit there and watch four hours of football with a bunch of fucking guys in a room

Are you fucking kidding me and especially if i'm not betting trust me? I know that you work 60 hours and you're trying to but who gives a fuck when I was 24 Listen, I didn't take my first I didn't take a day off that I was 38th for the first time my wife talked me into it You want to ask her you know why I spend the weekends with my wife now when I try to spend as much time as I can With because the first five years of our relationship. I never saw I didn't give a fuck about holidays I didn't give a fuck about new years You got to work make money and get better at what the fuck you're doing your life And then later when you're 55 maybe if you're fucking lucky

You go to you go to fucking Jamaica for three days if you're lucky And I don't care how much money you have or no money or whatever fuck You stick to what you know everybody complains about they have no jobs If you don't have a job in today's world get up go to the construction site in the corner and pick up fucking boards Prove to those people you need a job the same thing goes for anything else You know I'm saying how did me and lee become friends lee contacted me We started doing fucking videos and I didn't have a lot of money to pay him but lee said fuck it I just want to get into this business and look what we are 14 months later. This is 14 months later

Okay, but you made an effort and nobody wants to order work for free. I'd rather stay out. Yeah good good Nothing happens on your fucking couch brother. Nothing nothing ever happened on the couch. Yeah, nothing I know that nothing bad happens when you're on the couch But nothing happens when you're on the couch watching tv It happens by you going out and trying to make moves if you don't have a job put a fucking job together Lee put a job together. This is what I talk about put a job together Mugs and I don't give a fuck what you gotta do, but don't fucking sit there and not live your life There's schools. There's classes to go to there's a bunch of shit. You go out there live your life. All right. It's monday

I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. I'm sorry. I wasn't big on the music today But today's guests should set you straight for a few times You're gonna have to download this episode twice to really understand what the fuck just happened today Because I got I'm gonna have to go buy cigarettes and reefer and booze right now I think I need a fucking beer in the morning. It was the last time you had a beer in the fucking morning That's how much you usually when I stay up all night, but do you really know I could go for a beer right now The other day I went always on an airport and I was like damn a hot sausage I don't even drink but I go for a cold fucking Heineken for breakfast. It's not bad idea

Maybe we're gonna be a leaf smoke some dope. Let's do smoke a fucking Cuban cigar. Hey I love you guys. Don't forget testicle testaments is on sale on night tunes october 23rd tuesday october 24th I'm at the ice house doing testicle testaments five. I'm doing the one about my daughter because we retaped that We it was it fucked up last time. Yeah, so I'm gonna talk about the story about how I almost killed my ex-wife and her husband And all that shit november 1st through the 4th. We're at the ontario improv and november 8th me and the flying jew The other The older flying jew we're gonna be at the house of blues and chicago's tickets are available online Lee will be with me at testicle testaments five

October 24th. He's my partner on those two. Lee. Thank you very much for helping me ontario for being A great co-host of motherfucking flying jew. How many days to Hanukkah? A month. I don't know. You don't fuck it. There's what I'm talking about the jews are smart They don't have it on the same day it goes by the different calendar Right different camp. Well, they can't come they can't compete with the Mayans this year So they're probably doing it. I don't like to fucking uh, they're probably doing it like on the 11th And then like that they could move their money before the end of the world, you know money money money Money money money money. Look at the jews getting up by themselves salute money money money money money

I love you motherfuckers have a fantastic day, but most important have a fantastic fucking week. I love you guys We'll be back Wednesday, right? Yeah, Wednesday 6 a.m. The church of what's happened now. Thank you very much for being a part of I want to thank Danny Bianculo go to his website vegasinsider.com Stay black motherfuckers. Uncle Joey loves you So musically, where's the music? I got it. There's a baddest man alive There's a good jam, huh? You tweeted it the other day. I wanted to find something you did Fucking the with the black keys fucking hanging out with some brothers. All right. Have a great day Smoke some weed if you ain't high by two o'clock. Go fuck yourself

Joey Coco Diaz. Love you guys Bye guys. Bye guys You see