Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 10/23/2013 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #122

Episode Date: October 23, 2013

Comedian Felipe Esparaza calls in. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Visit Dollarshaveclub.com/church for great deals. Streamed live on 10/23/2013.

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere, on your TV, PC, smartphone or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey that's huluplus.com slash joey and by dollashaveclub.com. Get high quality razors sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollashaveclub.com slash church that's dollashaveclub.com slash church or just go to joeydias.net and click on the dollashaveclub banner. oh shit oh shit wednesday october 23rd some coffee you got your heart on who's better than you

got some reefer the dick is hard fucking if your clits hard fucking it's wednesday cocksucker get up here you go a little rocksy music to fucking blow some smoke on your ass but do it the fucking flying jew in the house with his red size shirt but you could do whatever the fuck you want for that strap a pair on and get the fuck out there wave him like a flag fucking i'm here like an astronaut you see the astronaut gets there he plants that fucking flag and then he says suck my dick martians uncle fucking uncle fucking astronauts here oh shit why is there a cop with an ipad singing a weird maybe he got stabbed in the eyeball like you i'm gonna stab you in the fucking eyeball this

ball is going everywhere what are you gonna do you know i'm saying it's a fucking video from the 80s you're getting all excited what's happening people it's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive and you're in this motherfucker the church of what's happening now we're back bitches lisa look at the mad flavor early fucking wednesday morning letting you know what the fuck is going on what's happening though everything all right everything's perfect fucking beautiful day to be alive i can't believe it i'm going to fucking Nashville tomorrow i've been away from my fucking family for a week i miss them the house is quiet the fucking it's me and the cats the apocalyptic will wait and shit you know i'm saying i haven't done much this week i'ma go out tonight do some

comedy ontario was great you know but i took a couple nights off i just been working out and writing and it's funny you uh i've been trying to write this fucking book and i hide this chick finally to help me julie isaac's and i got together with it and the last two weeks basically i just been nailing the chapters because i was just writing like very wildly you know and i had a thought of where it's going but now i got a common thread and i sat down with it and i've been writing like a fucking lunatic but it's the shit that i'm not writing about that fucked me up last night i was uh you know there's some people and this is how it came to my mind when i was writing all this shit down i was writing about 1980 and 1981 you know the little things i was doing and the

people i was hanging with and now that particular handful of people kind of saved me those were the real people that saved me it wasn't the people that showed up my mother died it was the people that it was those months afterward those kids the villo that caused the podcast uh didi kentaro his brother carlos called the podcast there was a few lubes was called the podcast those kids were around me all the time and were watching me and i was fucking up i was slipping you know but uh it was right around the time the ozzy osbourne came out the blizzard of uh september of 80 by by september 1980 and i'm looking at you in the eyeballs and i'm telling you some people uh tell you they were fucking gangsta okay you know at that time in my life i was a

fucking gangster i didn't know it i had no fucking idea what do you mean gangster i was a gangster i lived off a fucking crime and i was crime 24 hours a day and i had 92 fucking scams going and in the and i was in the middle without even knowing i was really in the middle scratching the surface with a lot of mob guys i didn't know it i had an idea but i didn't know exactly who these people were do you know what i'm saying i didn't fucking have a clue you know in 1980 the beginning of my junior year i was selling ups i was selling acid i was selling mescaline i was selling weed we were dabbling in coke we were fucking robbing uh stereos you know not from cars but from sears and shit like that we were moving stolen merch it was uh you know we were fucking around

with this gas station that puttin fuel and tunley am i don't know how many times i robbed that fucking gas station what year was muggles jewelers 82 okay but by that time i had slowed down a little bit i wasn't ah no no yeah you know i was involved in the same shit which is when you're out there seven days a week you do whatever that you do one week it might be coke one week or somebody might come to me and go dog got a ton of fucking coke you gotta get rid of you gotta give me some money all right let's do it you gotta throw me some blow and that's what you moved that week sometimes you're at a bar on a tuesday and somebody comes in and says dog we bumped into a fucking truck loaded ladies fucking shoes that week i'm a lady's shoe salesman i bought the the following week uh you

know you gotta steal fucking parker pens parker pens used to be huge in the 80s and cross pens you know it was constant it was my state of mind i worked at a lumberyard uh right after my mom died about three or four months after that my friend political pete quit his lumberyard job and he goes i want to give it to somebody that'll steal they have to keep stealing because if not the guy know oh no i stole that's how big that's how far how crazy is this and when they gave me the job i had to meet the different employees and all of them were telling me you know if you come to work here you gotta steal like they didn't say it to me but they kind of said it to me you know what i'm saying because yeah they all stole this was their livelihood this was a lumberyard and it was called

rental lumber and marine it was owned by a guy named richie worderman and and it was a lumberyard and i was the stock guy in the back and they sold uh two by four and four by a plywood but they also sold marine plywood which is dipped in some fucking substance so it's waterproof okay so that those fucking plywoods are expensive so let's say regular plywood at the time was 2498 for outside plywood four by eight half inch whatever okay uh the marine stuff was 74 dollars a sheet that was fucking outrageous so people come in and look at me and go you know the guy that used to work here before used to give me a deal how many fucking you know four by eight sheets you want we want 50 of them at 30 bucks a piece that's 1500 bucks when you're a fucking sophomore in high school a junior in

high school and you could take that much without them noticing they would never even notice it there was so much fucking wood back there there was so much fucking wood and we always had a big order we always had a big wood order every day we're building houses so he couldn't keep up with 40 sheets i was stealing 40 sheets a day easy i was stealing 40 sheets a day i was stealing paneling they had a wire house or paneling i was stealing paneling you know people just come with a truck they had no cameras then yeah they had no cameras so Richie Worderman was up in his office on the second floor a hundred yards away the truck in the back so they would load the truck and then they come to the front and pay a lot of times you just told them don't drive up to the front just

give me the cash so so like when i worked at a movie theater there were people who had scams where they would ring one chop the bar in and give them two or however however it worked but they always had to do math to make sure that it wasn't way off you got to do math you got to do math and you had so you so you would do math you wouldn't just pocket it like would you be like okay i did this i can't give this one out or i can only do this much because then it looks suspicious or like what like what okay some some guy comes in he buys an electric fan let's say he had a flood and he buys 19 20 fans an even number okay and each fan's $20 so 20 fans of $20 is what $400 yeah i would press 20 i would charge him for one fan and he would pay me 400 cash i put the

400 in the register and then before the edge of the day i'd take the 380 out of there somewhere another that was if i brought it to the register okay sometimes you cut the deal right in the fucking lot and they just drove away what was that guy doing i'm nothing i told him he wanted to fucking 10 sheets of plywood but he didn't want to pay 50 but it was it was fucking mind bogg and everybody was stealing the old man was stealing the truncelito was stealing the kid jack the fin was stealing i mean that was his name jack fin that was his real name f in and he was an irish kid everybody was fucking stealing at this place i went to work basically to steal there was paid days i wouldn't show up paid day was on friday and just to make a point i wouldn't show up on paid

because you got like 200 bucks already i already fucking got him for i mean i was probably robbing from this guy everybody at the store you know electric drills you know sanders i mean it was fucking crazy and i guess the guy was into something so he didn't give a fuck that everybody was robbing him it was fucking crazy so now on top of that remember at that time i'm buying coke for cops as well as your cops that need coke and they don't want to go to a drug dealer so there's one cop would come to me and i'd sell them coke so i had that covered i had the ups for the wrestlers i had the fucking acid for the girls i had the mescaline for the girls and for the party you know i used to pay 90 for 100 hits of mescaline and i'd sell them for three dollars a piece when

i was a junior in high school i'd go through 300 hits a week i'd just mescaline so i was making two fucking 10 there 220 210 there right there so that's 630 i was making just on mescaline never mind on reefer and on acid and on fucking coke and on the fucking you know and i was eating out three meals this is when i ate at hashways three meals and you know you're 16 and everybody else is eating fucking food from the house and me and my buddies are chance dragging in eating steak at a steak this is how i started going to chance you know because i had the dough like that i was floating that fucking those drugs so that's a full time 24 hour a day i was i knew some people i told you that the week john lennon got shot a little before that i fucking scanned

these checks and i cashed them and got like 20 grand i'm fucking 17 i'm fucking 17 with 20 grand in your sock drawer i think he said right 20 grand in my sock there's no ATM machine you put a card and took 20 out that was in your in your drawer so i've been thinking about this time i'm going jesus fucking christ all these people talk about being gangsters that's gangster and i was going to school that's even more gangster i'm a junior in high school going to fucking school now you weren't like a drug dealer like like okay when i go down and pick up the girl you know i make a turn around a curve there's 18 black guys that with no shirts on and like they're the drug dealers no but like you were just like no people just knew in school to go to you in school people would ask because

i'm here shaking my head like yeah yeah you're getting started i'm like you fucking we're selling coke and going into i was like i was going to davin buster's on a skip day where we were all frightened that we skipped one day in senior year and we went and played video games i'm like i don't think anyone like do you understand how crazy it is that's crazy there was no listen we skipped days it was to rob a beer truck take the beers down the hill and drink them at somebody's house somebody would buy a nickel bag of weed we'd roll seven joints we'd maybe take a hit of masculine and that would be our fucking hooky day jesus there was no fucking davin buses in our world dog at all the fact that just having beer at that point would have been like oh we had beer

that's cool you fucking robbed a beer truck used to rob beer i would have been i would have still be hiding a beer truck and start to think in those days they only sell one driver so when the drivers went in to deliver the beer you robbed you pulled that thing and took everyone's walked by and like oh it'd be so easy to steal but you actually fucking stole them we did and we did this constantly like constantly we did that shit constantly and we did up to the point where we started getting cars like pulling up to a beer truck and so made a car and ripping the fucking thing open but i was just thinking about this last night and how much pain i was in but to avoid the pain at that time that's all i did was try to take my mind off it

by scamming where i was living you know when i moved in with the benders i was basically 15 years old i was four months away from turning 16 there wasn't a curfew at that house you came and you went like any other like now like i come and go now i did not have a curfew at that time neither did the guy john you know i was writing about john and i don't talk to john today i talked to bobby the first people that took me in was john bender jimmy bender bobby renay jimmy the father and the mother hannah today i don't talk to hannah she hates me you know john and me don't talk i got a thing to make you know i hate when people use people you know like people in la like to use people they call you up we had to chat the other day on phone about podcasts yeah people

always contact us when they want to do a podcast we tell them what they want to do but they always want to talk to lea wow i gotta talk to lea you know i want to talk to your friend i want to talk to your friend and i'll i'll say well he's busy or he's working because i know what they want they want for you to take them to the guitar center buy the things for them set it up for them pretty much hold their hands throughout the whole podcast and after six weeks they realize they're not getting nowhere they'll start getting late for the podcast eventually they'll just say i don't want to do the podcast no more and we invested three or four hours with them telling them how to do the podcast because i've done it before yeah i've i've met people on my days off

when i i didn't need i could have been doing something more creative i've met people to say oh i want to do this podcast on this i got a great idea you sit with them they do it for five or six weeks they're calling me the whole fucking time you know torture me can you retweet it can yeah okay you do it you help them out then one day they call in they're like you know what man my partner and it's seven or eight weeks they don't even make it for like a year it's seven or eight weeks because the commitment fucking level is uh and we were talking about how people call you and they'll try to use you yeah and i gotta admit something on the air here you know i've never gone out of my way to use anybody like i just don't believe it once you've been used you

feel it's not a good feeling it's like getting cheated on it's not a good feeling all these people like cheating on people and shit it's not a good feeling getting cheated on you feel like fucking debt you know so if you feel like that why would you do that to somebody you know and last night i can't lie to you people the last couple times i've written about john i realized one thing that in the way i used john you know and it came back to bite me in the ass that's why i've never used anybody again was he the guy who was a was he the cop brother he was a cops brother he was bobby's brother okay and john and i fought in the sixth grade over something stupid of the seventh grade he beat me up you know he got the better half of me for two reasons uh me at the

time i think i needed a beating and at the time there was nothing i could do about it i learned what fighting was about your fight and you move on to the next day and i always thought i would catch john some other time but he became such a good friend to me months after uh that fight he went out of his way he his guilt got in front of him he realized i was a good kid and the whole thing was a misunderstanding so we got into a fight and i guess you know he broke my nose or whatever and popped my lip i broke his nose whatever the fuck happened he felt a lot guilty than i did so he always went out of his way to be my friend like he was always a year older than me john so he always he drove okay when i was a sophomore the year my mother died he picked me up for school i didn't

have to walk that big fucking hill he picked me up first me and then he picked up these two girls and we get to school and he had a park and but it avoided fucking walking that hill he picked me up every morning i couldn't fucking believe when i was a freshman and he was a sophomore he picked me up every morning for school and then picked me up sophomore year then my mother died and then he went to his house and made a case and fought and it was funny because he fought for me thinking that i was gonna he had a built-in friend that's what he wanted he thought i was gonna move in with him we're gonna get twin beds in the room and we're gonna watch tv and hang out and and do john didn't get high john didn't drink john wasn't even an athlete john wanted to fuck chicks ugly

fucking chicks and bring them in the bedroom and i fucking couldn't stand these women that he would bring so i i really didn't hang with john like in his mind i was moving in so we could watch tv again he could have a built-in friend like a brother his age i didn't care for that at all i didn't want that in my life at all i just wanted to fucking hang out with didi and my friends glen kanthi and the villa and all that shit so every time he'd ask me every night what are we doing to it we're gonna watch a movie fuck you watch a movie i'm going out bitch so the longer this went on he went to his mother uh he would go ma i don't fucking know i told him to move in here because i wanted a friend and he's not even my fucking friend and then when i started hanging out with

his older brother and doing certain things with bobby he went to his parents and said no he's doing drugs he's doing this so it took a long he saw him and his mother sided against me and again i don't blame him i do not blame him because when i moved into the house i moved into the that house with uh i didn't i didn't even realize until afterward that he wanted me to move in so he had a friend he could hold hands with don't watch cartoons that wasn't in my fucking world you know i'm saying whenever i came home i was high and he would get furious he would lose it at night when i got home hot you're fucking doing drugs again you're a fucking loser that's it you're out of here in a week and i would just say fuck you and go to bed that was it that's how i lived

i didn't give a fuck i had no mother what what are you gonna do to me the fuck are you gonna do to me what are you gonna say to me yeah yeah yeah i don't give a fuck i'll get someplace else to live but but afterward when i realized what he expected and what had what had turned out were two different fucking things until and today when we see each other it sucks it sucks because he had gives me a hug i give him a hug but i know in my heart what really happened and he's hurt till today he's hurt he came to the wrapped i did the longest shot i did a party in jersey city and did comedy on a friday night and him and his sister and then these came and i hugged him when we talked and we did the whole thing but i could see that uh

you know he wasn't and he follows me on facebook he never once a year he makes a comment on facebook once a year make a comment on facebook and it kind of bothers me i came to the conclusion last night the next time i go home i gotta knock on his door like a man and apologize you know last night i almost called carlos cantero it was 10 o'clock at night los angeles time and it was one o'clock in the morning new jersey time and carlos was my friend didi's older brother so me and didi was 16 carlos was maybe 20 21 you know i talked to carlos today as much as i talked to him 30 years ago whenever i go home i see i took him to a u of c one time him and his wife and i know the kids and the whole thing i almost called carlos last night having an anxiety attack

saying what the fuck was going on when we were kids i mean when i look at my eyes in the morning yeah and i before i put vizena was a brush in my teeth i could see little brown veins in my eyes those are the veins that blew up on friday nights me and didi used to get a bottle of vodka sometimes sometimes poop off of all the pendant on the money we had the silver label i think it was a little bit more there's like a red smear and off and there's like a silver label smear and off that's like a little bit more uh proof yeah and we drinking with gatorade and take a quailude and we'd sit in in his brother's room because his brother had the tv and the stereo on the water bed and the whole thing and we'd sit there and watch tv and then we'd wait for his brother to come home

by three three thirty from the clubs and he'd give us one little line of coke and he'd say you guys gotta leave the room i'm bringing a girl over and we'd go outside into the street and we'd sit down at the porch on this one line of coke and talk nonsense for an hour you know like man this is great oh my god i wish i could listen to seven bloody seven now i wonder what aziaz was doing i mean the conversations were just fucking idiotic but uh that was my childhood man it's sad that i almost did call him last night and go what the fuck was going on you know what the fuck happened what the fuck happened yeah you because you did a testicle testament on 82 83 so that like it was like four or five years were pretty crazy those but that was two years before

testicle that's what i'm saying yeah so but i'm saying from 80 to 83 or whatever we had this guy's name was freddy he was a man he was a grown man with two kids and a big fat woman wife and he lived at the bottom floor of there was this building in our neighborhood house a three floor house but if you looked at the street going up the hill it didn't look like it belonged there didn't look like it belonged this house there okay and this on this street were irish men like the havletchecks lived there cousins to glenn havletchecks from the boston celtics the finkels lived there another guy that played for the celtics it's a weird street uh one of the finkels uh he was seven foot he was a senator in the late in the early 70s or something okay he was cousins to somebody from

north beryham they lived on that block mario diaz lived on that block who did karate cuban chinese kid he did kung fu when every night we go over and kick the fuck out of each other a bunch of martial artists this is the eighth grade seventh grade the keltos lived on that block it was just a block that had white families on it well in that one three story house it was the fucking adams family house it didn't belong on the block like all these houses had neat lawns and everything was clean in front of the house this one three story house the middle block was a fucking nightmare the door was ripped off and guess who lived there the one black fucking family if she was white with a black kid the name was marlo and she had to be five foot two four hundred pounds when she was

ten years old she was the fattest black chick ever saw and she had the fucking unga bunga hair you know afro that looked like somebody combed it with a stick of dynamite so she always got tortured i got along with marlo i never had to be from marlo and then it was like these dirty it was like these dirty fucking white people like look like they belong and it was like the only low rent house a subsidy house on the block but the one fucking house with the one guy there was marlo marlo's mother who was completely white trash there was another white trash family on the bottom floor live freddy he was the gas station guy at this place called puttin fuel who's still there puttin fuel and this kid i needed a job so i told this kid i need a job he got me a job there

and him too he told me hulio gamio told me you got a steal here everybody steals on it so the shift i got put on with was this freddy guy and after a few weeks of working with freddy i realized freddy was a complete dunce i mean i hate to say this about somebody there's some people that are fucking a little off like me there's some people that are just fucking stupid and then you got to the dunce level where this poor guy was a dunce like the best job he was ever going to get was at this gas station and now he was married and had a kid and he married the woman he married was a dunce and this kid were probably dunces oh yeah so this is going to be the fucking dunce family on this block so i'm working with this guy this guy's a grown fucking man and the one

that talked them into it at 16 to rob the gas station like i'm like freddy how much do you fucking turn it every night about four thousand i go freddy how am i hitting the fucking head one night and we just robbed you you think we'd get away with it yeah so one night me and diddy went down and punched him in the head like 15 times and took his fucking money and i'll never forget that all he wanted was a fucking eight ball like that's all this idiot wanted was a fucking eight ball he's like i don't care what you take from me just make sure my percentage is an eight ball and i'm like okay you know and we get down there we rob him i don't know what he had on him we hit him in the head i think diddy did he put his head through the glass it was fucking

glass the glass broken shit the whole fucking thing he's looking at diddy what what and we leave we take the money we chop it up and then we go buy an eight ball but there's only one eight ball the only guy we had one eight ball actually like fuck we'll buy it we'll do a grand and we'll fucking give the rest to freddy at two in the morning we'll go meet him or whatever well we dipped into this fucking bag and we never stopped we did the whole eight ball i'm in the next day he called and we went over there he's like where's my eight ball me and my wife were awake no one night they were fucking momos both and like freddy it was only one eight ball and we fucking did it what what what do you want and uh him and his wife got pissed off this is she went

he went to the cops he told the cops the truth that we had robbed them that me and diddy had banged them on the head but i lived at the i worked at the gas station i was like it was the dumbest thing in the world the cops like what are you fucking talking about so we got away with murder i kept my job i said i didn't know what he was talking about and the rest was fucking history god knows where freddy is so he's probably at some home getting in the head with a fucking hammer at this point in the game you know i'm sorry so he's he should have taken fucking alpha brain that cock suck it those fucking momos like that you give him some fucking alpha brain the head'll blow up there was no alpha brain then what are you gonna do sorry about taking on these fucking stories

this morning Lee i just thought it was really interesting last night what had happened to me now is that is that all your not all but is that is that mainly what your book focused on those years or no no no what i'm what the book focuses on basically now is the last words my mother like the week before my mother died we had a little a little tiff and she uh took me aside and just told me i want you to grow up to be a man i don't want no beef with you i don't want to tell you how to live your life there's different things you gotta do and it was weird that i didn't realize what she was saying till i was at the wake you know that what she wanted from me what she expected from me it wasn't a man that goes around and beats people and i thought she just

wanted me to be the complete man to be a good guy to pay my bills to honor somebody to be a man you know and uh all those years that i was doing blow and fucking up i didn't feel like i was on in her deal you know it didn't it doesn't feel like i honored it to about six or seven years ago you know yesterday i went to see dr amy says to say hello i go see dr amy every week at one o'clock and one thirty every tuesday and i have been here's the sick thing you know me and amy figured out yesterday what how many years i'm gonna see dr amy for now i don't know eight fucking years jesus so you did it for two years when you were on coke yeah i probably i started with amy uh uh probably december of 2005 okay and i did coke not with amy but i did coke while i was going to

dr amy maybe for probably a year a year and a half while i was going down and she would put needles in my ear for the addiction and i would go home and make sure i snorted coke so the acupuncture wouldn't beat my addiction until today man i have some uh i gotta be honest here i have some i have some i don't know how to say the word i'm not as smart as you people i have uh thoughts that maybe the acupuncture helped break the addiction but in a subtle way she kept sticking the needle in my ear so much and kept we kept working on the addiction every tuesday that eventually my body just gave up you know i like to also think that you know because the acupuncture attacks your spirit as much as your it makes you balanced and it opens up the chi it opens up the fucking uh

you know it's just really good for you acupuncture in the way she breaks it down like yesterday she did a great cleanse i slept like a baby that i don't know what it is but tuesdays i sleep like a fucking baby the minute that she takes that last needle on me i'm putting my shirt on i gotta go to the bathroom she says goodbye i hug her i pay her money i go to the bathroom i pee and it's not yellow it's not white it's just cloud like she cleans out my fucking kidneys and liver just by going to see her and she tells me when you leave here today the rest of the day i want you to drink water i basically go home and fill up a fucking thing of water from the machine and i drink that whole thing like watching sun's anarchy whatever the fuck i watched that night on tuesday i slept

like a baby last night man i slept fucking hard like i went to like i went to bed 10 kind of depressed about what i was just telling you about a little bit yeah because when i went to bed i couldn't shut off my mind so it was still those thoughts were still in my mind though what was going on at that time and it's weird i went i basically put on an album last night i used to listen to we used to go to the killer villa that calls in here that has to ban the past masters yeah he had a house in the backyard he had a shed and i would go to the shed at night and it would be him cocoa demsey a couple guys from downtown and you know during the week it was light during the weeknights it was light but we go out every night lubes come down he'd take a bus

down he'd bring reefer and there would be no heat back there and we go back there dog like it was fucking 90 degree weather and we get fucking not coked up at the time because those kids weren't into coke we get acid and masculine and we smoke weed and fucking uh there was no tv i didn't watch tv that at all uh and we listened to music he had a big marshal amp he had an amp he didn't have speakers this motherfucker had a fucking amp you plug a guitar into yeah yeah and that's what we listened to amps he had two amps there was a drum kit back there and we listened to the popular albums at the time and we listened to everything but the ones that were always in rotation at time were the wall okay and cars candio the wall was a great album and still is a great

album the cars candio is a great album but it had a different effect on me you know it has some great songs at the dangerous type and whenever i put that out like when i hear songs of it it's great like when i hear individual songs when i put the album together after two or three fucking songs it takes me back to that place and i get i get those feelings scared i get confused you know i wanted answers i didn't have any fucking answers i didn't know what i was gonna do with my life you know most people were talking about college already and how they they were applying for loans and all this shit and i didn't even know what the fuck they were talking about you know and i remember when i was feeling i wanted to be like everybody else you know uh it was just bad fucking

feelings man no wonder i did drugs no wonder i fucking did drugs i was just sitting there last night in the state of anxiety plus it was like anxiety plus it wasn't even anxiety it was way past anxiety i was scared to get up because i fucking pass out probably you know but it's just fucking weird what you uh go through sometimes and you're right you put yourself there you put yourself there for a fucking few weeks and what are you doing so hopefully this book will be done and we get this all i'm sick of fucking talking about this shit leave the fucking book and i just want to get this done hopefully we can get this published i'm gonna publish it myself and then probably turn it into an audiobook yeah that's the ticket you guys want audio i'll give you

fucking audio where's the music lee cop suck we need some music wednesday get up get up wash your pussy wash your feet stick a fucking q-tip in your ear get that wax out you want to listen to what the fuck people are saying lee what are you doing where's the music and what are you talking yeah put the music on who gets what fucking oh yeah this fucking reefer is on fire something from no organic i always stop over there last night you want a little piece of this lee what do you want last time i smoked you tried to let me on fire you put a burger a little bit do you want fire what's up baby come here come with your uncle joey as usual on it is on it i tell you this is sincere as i can what i have for breakfast morning the new hemp force acai vanilla

flavored fucking protein shake that's right bitches delicious delicious my stomach ain't fucking making noises i ain't farting why because it's on it they're always ahead of the game and that's not all they got you know i put in my coffee now stevia at on it go to fucking on it dot com press church church in the fucking box get 10% off get put on the list and they give you a little extra consideration since you're fucking around with mad flavor you understand me that's how they do it oh shit little biggie small what i love it when you call me big pop but what please don't shoot up the place because i see some ladies tonight that should be having my baby how you living biggie small what

so i told you before we have the call um and we're not we always talk about 30 for 30 but we're not we're not sponsored by them they're just great but i saw one last night about the guy spano who who fake bought the islanders and like it made me think of you like it's something like i could see you like trying to pull like it just it was a crazy i can't imagine and i didn't even happen a long ago happened like 15 20 years ago this guy pretended he had the money and for four months legally owned the new york islanders and it was fucking it blew my mind it was crazy i had never heard about it before or you learn something new every day cox okay and why does it make you think of me you think i'm the type of idiot that would go do something like that i mean were you

you just we were talking for 45 minutes and you just talked to i was 16 years old yeah big difference in being 30 year old grown man acting like a fucking you follow him saying to you but you don't think if you wouldn't have gone to that point no that's disgusting that's stupid type shit i was a thief i wasn't a scam artist big difference i don't see money in scamming people i don't see it you're gonna come back and bite your nears it's like robbing a car they're not gonna figure out that you don't have any fucking money all that shit they're gonna figure out you don't have no fucking money he almost doesn't listen i always feel bad for people because i was the type of guy that was always i always had my nose open looking for money okay and like

in boulder i had people that invested they wanted to be in the mafia that the kid rents and i took his thousand bucks to be in the mafia or whatever and uh i felt bad for these people in a way in a way i didn't because they're that stupid if you're gonna be that stupid and believe something like that you deserve like i still see things on 2020 i still see things on CNN about people who get emails from africa still send fucking two thousand dollars and yeah if you're gonna be that stupid i fucking you deserve to get what you're doing but i'm the type of guy if i'm gonna rob you i'm gonna bring a fucking gun i'm not gonna rob you we think we're gonna leave we're gonna take a ride and we're gonna go figure out an investment plan for you that's fucking stupid you know these guys

that signed these women up and take all their fucking uh what do you call that they're they're retiring funds and shit like that that comes back to you tenfold that comes back to you tenfold when i'm fucking around with somebody who's dicking around in drugs he's he's dicking around in misery he's already dicking around in somebody's muckery do you understand what i'm saying to you not some poor old lady i never found satisfaction i mean when i first started to stop doing coke about three months later somebody came up to me and he goes drugging my dealer needs a ton of coke can you help him i got five thousand dollars in my car listen 20 30 years ago i would have taken like guys five thousand dollars told him to go fuck himself i would have told him the coke was at

joan mary's and he would have to come to joan mary's and say something to me with 20 of my fucking friends i would have given them all 200 fucking dollars nobody was giving them all a dime that's drug money type shit that's shit that's guerrilla type tactics you know you're getting yourself into but some poor fucking lady who put her money away all her life when these fucking guys to come and take their fucking money oh that's bullshit but i i was just saying like just uh because what the story was that he he he fit he like forced a falsified document said he had the money and he was getting the money but he just couldn't get it fast enough what was he getting the money he got an 80 million he bought the team for 165 million he got an 80 million

dollar loan from a bank wow and then he had he was supposed to pay 17 million dollars in five payments and he just couldn't get he couldn't get it fast enough but i think 17 million is really tough to give your hands on wait wait i mean he got fucking 80 million and they had million fucking dollars and but he he was a bad dude like the the end of the documentary he he got sent to jeff for four years like that's crazy like he he basically robbed 160 million or fault like said he had it and he only got four years he got out and he did kind of the same thing again he had a leasing company and he would take the money but not give them the equipment so he had to go back for another four years and fucking no but it was crazy listen man i i learned

my time one time i learned it one fucking time i made my decision this is not where i'm ever coming back to again you know those guys that come out and they try to fucking redo it and re rob you i watch at csmbc you know uh that show on csmbc i think greed okay there's a show greed that comes on csmbc and they all have the same fucking story you know when i'm on the road i love watching greed i love going to the one channel uh the crime network whatever and they have almost caught i love those fucking shows and i watch them and it's hysterical what you find out about people and you and listen when i robbed the fucking villa tidwell got pulled though because he was driving with no headlights on again for the chief seats he had somebody in the trunk of the car

and he was driving with no fucking headlights on so to me that was always god's work that was always the karma end of it when when i got woken up to the cops around their way here to arrest you for kidnapping and i asked brent raisin like what the fuck happened and he goes i think the cops were saying tidwell got pulled over without no headlights on i knew it i knew it i knew that that was the answer i was gonna get it was either no headlights or you got a flat or you took them out to get a piss or you took them out to something that was so fucking ridiculously stupid it's something so fucking ridiculously stupid but how many times have you gotten in your car and driven 10 minutes without no headlights yeah and i'll go over so it's karma

it's called karma and that's what that's called in your life sometimes and as soon as you hear it as soon as it utters the words as soon as you're changing your flat as soon as whatever's going on you're paying that money you know what you're paying it for you're not paying it for that service you're paying it because you did something you know it's really funny that uh i ended up making 18 thousand 18 five on the fucking drug rip but my attorney bill was 18 thousand so that two years of my life all that worrying that stress eating jail food putting my family through stuff it all cost me five i made 500 dollars for my fucking services i would have made more money working a week at mcdonald's yeah do you understand me what you learned about life so for the money i was

gonna rob look what i ended up getting 500 fucking dollars i could have made that in one week in mcdonald's they're paying 12 bucks an hour now mcdonald's right i don't think i mean one week with overtime yeah so 40 times 12 is what that's fucking 500 bucks or 480 or something like that whatever the fuck it is i'm stoned so with overtime i could make 500 i could have made that for for two years my profit was 500 from that drug thing that's called karma that's called fucking karma and you think about it and you could beat it up however you fucking want to you know what are you gonna do that's crazy you live and you're fucking learning and that's why i'm 50 listen when i was fucking 20 like half these fucking people listen to this podcast

i wish somebody came to me and told me these things but guess what even if they sat me down i still wouldn't listen to him so i don't expect anybody to listen to me you know what i'm saying because i didn't listen to when people were telling me hey don't do this this is on the back fight go you know what this guy's an old fucking loser he doesn't know about life there i am a week later in jail and the old loser was giving me a vice of ski and sending me fucking pictures to the fucking jail going ha ha ha ha now were there were there kids in north bergen that were like just had it sounds bad to say normal but yeah basically like a what you would consider a normal life there was a lot of kids in north bergen that were very normal very geekish you know that's

what you want to call them that you know i went in a different direction but there's a difference between it being a geek and there's difference between being a geek and knowing do you understand not really there's people who are fucking geeks and naive and they don't know that world exist these guys knew that world existed okay like i was talking about this one family in particular they were a Cuban family they came to me after my mother died and said you're welcome at our home they lived on top of a guy that my mother knew that was involved in drugs they tried to reach out to me blah blah blah blah their kids never did drugs those kids that offered me their father their father they weren't drug people they were just kids i knew from the

neighborhood and she dated a friend of mine who smoked pot but they weren't drug kids you know and i remember they saw me once downstairs and they were like what were you doing martin you know he sells drugs and blah blah but i ended up becoming a thief and everything i would see these people and i don't know what i feel inside because i knew them back in the day before i had become what i had become you know i knew them when i was an athlete when i was a jog yeah i might have erased some hell and let lucy snobush's goldfish on fire and what you know yeah yeah yeah they had a tank in front of the house with goldfish so we would put uh liquid gas in there light the pond on fire jesus christ oh yeah this is this is this is the real fucking deal so

that's a new one i've ever heard that one before this is goldfish a la fucking grill oh no you know we listen we raised hell nobody was an innocent those kids were all you know we all like to have fun you heard the other day when dr tanya called we ripped the phone out of the the fireman phone out of the wall yeah we did that every night just for fucking spite and now later we'd see the fireman on the corner repairing the phone shaking their fucking head until they finally took the fucking phone thing off the street there was no reason for that phone to be on the street anyway the fire department was three blocks away if you yelled the fire department would hear what's that phone doing you know these kids i grew up with were also very independent

you know they were they were white collar and blue collar kids that hung out together there was no judgment there was no fucking no where your father does this all these kids ran together but we all love the same thing we all love dough it was funny i was telling john salami in diagostino the other day about when i used to go up to harlem and how these kids these kids today i think about them 43 years later i think about the sedanio brothers and there was a group of white kids i don't know they were irish you know they were irish and german and whatever nationalities white kids are in fucking harlem in those days whatever the fuck they were you know everybody was just single nationality everybody was old school nationality it's not like today i'm persian and and spanish and

and then and black you know either you were black or fucking white okay there wasn't no all this fucking breakdown i'm Ethiopian i'm this i'm fucking that there was maybe six fucking races back then okay it was nice and fucking easy and uh these dirty kids they did that to scam okay and it wasn't a scam what you call it it's not a scam what they basically did is this let's say leon the barbecue store on the corner they made sandwiches i remember this place made sandwiches but their specialty was barbecue meat you know i shredded barbecue beef and they put it on bread and it was fucking delicious they give you pickles with it it was somebody called me it was fucking delicious these kids would go in and go look for a dollar a day for a dollar a day we'll take your garbage cans out

put them back in for you and sweep and clean the windows that's five dollars a fucking week and we'll be out of here in two minutes we got the whole system we got the windex we got the buckets we got the brooms some people said yes that's five dollars a fucking week what's five dollars a fucking week to give kids in your neighborhood money so they don't have to bust your balls when you didn't fucking sweep when they said no they break your fucking window through a trash in front of your thing they would sweep whatever they swept from everybody else's and throw it in front of your fucking thing eventually you'd pay these motherfuckers five dollars because it was working they'd take your garbage cans in they pull them out for the garbage

they'd watch them nobody would tip them over and they'd watch your business because they live in the neighborhood this was better than having a fucking alarm okay it cost you 20 fucking dollars a month it cost you fucking 240 dollars a fucking year to help these kids from your neighborhood meanwhile no no no no you want to have a party and send a thousand dollars to the red cross and have all your creepy white buddies come over and serve fucking others and show them how much you donated to people so you can really care that's what you want to do with your suit and call it a fucking what do they call it a donation what the fuck do they call them a gala event where people come in and donate and everybody knows what everybody oh my god

i love blind kid you know the whole fucking bullshit story this is what you could do or you could just go fuck let me be a real human being nobody gotta know what the fuck i do let me just give these little five criminals five dollars a fucking day that's 25 dollars a fucking week a dollar a day that's what they want a dollar a day because they knew they had 20 stores these fucking little poor kids knew how to hustle so they made you an offer you couldn't fucking refuse we'll take the garbage out for you three days a week put it back in sweep clean the front you know no drama they had like 20 fucking stores i remember like they cut me in finally after a fucking month they cut me in they gave me like three or four fucking dollars but these kids were

doing that they were letting you know that they didn't want a fucking hand out they just wanted to do it and either they did it or they fuck your property up nothing wrong with that that was old american ingenuity right there that's american ingenuity people do it all the time people do it as collection and don't do nothing for you what about the people that come in these gang members and downtime i like to tell these fruit vendors they just pull up to those poor fruit vendors and go you gotta pay rent bitch it's $50 a fucking day you don't get nobody to help you cut the fruit or empty your fucking trash and they just take your fucking 50 fucking dollars so these kids at least provide their service for you you follow me i i fucking think of those kids all

the time i don't even know what the fuck their names are it doesn't matter because i see kids today and they're fucking houses with computers and i think of those kids yeah and i go i remember those kids in the summer that day never ended in the summer and all those kids were skinny they had dirty clothes you know but they those kids went out at seven in the morning and they tried it till fucking nine o'clock and that's a society that i fucking came from you didn't go home they went home to eat at six but they made so much money on the outside the daytime that when they went home at six they had already eaten and they put five dollars on the table for their fucking families the sedanios had nine fucking brothers and sisters they probably lived in the two bedroom

on the fourth i remember i remember i had to walk up fucking 19 fly the stairs to call for them you know but those kids hustled those kids brought home money to give to the fuck to the mother that's crazy oh shit what's up fool there's my fucking brother i'm already sold out the ice house this weekend in pasadena so this call isn't even the fucking promote this call is just to drop some motherfucking knowledge you know i'm saying felipe i was talking about uh i was talking about when i when i was in new york as a kid and i go up to harlem and they were these little rich they were not rich they were these little dirty white kids you know they were like germ and irish whatever the fuck they you know in those days there was only six nationalities in this fucking

country felipe it's not like it is now they got to be fucking national geographic and guess what the fuck you are you know i'm saying but it's funny that these kids felipe would go to these businesses and they would say look bro for a dollar a day we'll empty your trash we'll take out the trash cans we'll put them back in the alley we'll sweep we'll clean your glass and we'll watch your business for a dollar a day you know now the gang members go to these fruit people downtown these poor little mexicans that cut fruit and they want 50 dollars from them they don't do nothing they don't cut fruit they don't sharpen the knives they don't do nothing at least these little white kids in new york used to do a service for you and you'd give them five dollars a week

that's all it costs you five hours a week which is 20 dollars a fucking month and these guys did more for you than anything you know yeah they shook you down if you didn't give them a dollar a day they sweep all the garbage on your property and it's amazing that today they don't have that day and these kids lived i never forget the sidenos they were Puerto Ricans they lived on the fourth floor of the tenement and they probably had they had nine brothers and sisters with fucking a parent they lived in a two bedroom they had bunk beds they slept all over the floor you know and it's amazing that these guys did that they and they brought money home Felipe like they used to put money on the table like 30 bucks 20 bucks and it's amazing how a lot of people don't know what it

is to grow up fucking like that to grow up poor or a little fucking down where you had to share sneakers with your brother or whatever the fuck i never had to do that i never had a fucking brother or sister but after my mother not died i know what it is to want you know and i know for sure you know what the fuck it is to want you didn't grow up in Beverly Hills you know you don't know man i grew up in the part of yeah funny man like they got rodeo drive right Beverly Hills but rodeo drive continues you know to further out late they would get to the hood didn't pronounce you rodeo drive they call it rodeo that's hysterical you know don't Beverly third and Beverly has rodeo they call it rodeo but in Beverly Hills it's rodeo wild west

now what was in there poor man oh we had we had seven kids too i was older than seven and my mom she was a hustler bro like my mom was starting herbal life she was starting a bond she was starting crystal not crystal mess crystal promotion like these crystal decorations that are these not mexican heads in the house that they can't really afford but they have many ways and my mom was self-providing with Shockley and the funny man because i used to go be the one that used to collect the fucking aim on money you know and every kid that i knew from school that owed the money and i was proud of this man i kept playing you i can't hang out with you man so your fucking mom pays and they were trying to come around my house and i would and then my mom

would write down what they owe on my hand and now i have to go to her house and i would say listen man call your mom she owes fire engine red lipstick four dash four five five page nine i know her name is Lupe fucking nobody remember they still have avon philly paid they still have it bro my mom's so aware is it fucking top away i'm a tupperware parties and shit if i'm always just so much tupperware man let me tell you man my mom will she she made it right to a top salesman you know when you make it to a top salesman you get to go to the conventions you know in florida or senator she man my my dad said get the fuck out of here with that she you ain't going nowhere there's no conventions here you got tupperware fill that ship well how's wife you know i'm gonna say i'm

gonna say put me model i can't go so i'm i will give her free trip to a neighbor or somebody wanted to go somewhere between my dad would let her go that's fucking crazy now philly let me answer something a couple years ago you shot that movie about your life what was the name of the movie again you're not like that no i'm not like that no more and who's selling it now i'm i'm saying it's an icons okay i didn't know what it happened to him and it's on amazon.com um the guy who who produced the movie he's producing a tequila company now what kind of what kind of tequila does he have it's called tecala and it's like a it's like a champagne champagne tecala drink kind of like tequisa it mixes well with orange juice you

make a nice um mimosa with it he um he put the movie out and he made a bunch of DVDs and he has like his label on it tecasa and tecaba actually tecaba and then i just he gave me a bunch of movies and i just sell them but i said well man i'm gonna feed like that guy who bought a thousand movies he's gonna sell it for ten dollars each to make a hundred thousand hey man you never fucking know you never fucking know especially in this market where you could do with your own movie anymore people don't want to go to the fucking bullshit what's going on brother everything all right in your world what's been happening tell me something good oh that's not a matter i did a fundraiser for um my my city councilman where i grew up with jose we's our district 14

portal height highly parked eagle rock represent and let me tell you joy there were some people there who i grew up on the projects bro who now have like field officers job for the city it's funny man how everybody i don't know if people you grew up with got city jobs growing up all the other fun all the other other kids growing up but you grew up that city job but most of the kids that i grew up with the ones who didn't go gay man got city jobs and all city and fat now bro and i hate seeing them man because i know they're fucking full of shit you know what i'm saying well mike if you know anything about north bergen it's very political so what happens is basically that you are yeah you get a job with the town and then you have to vote and you have to break

windows and you have to drive people to fucking different funding things and it's great you know that's fucking great for a while i mean yeah i could have done it i think i could have worked for the mua or something you know sweeping shit into the thing or whatever i don't know if i wanted to do that i don't know if it was for me it's a you know i god bless those guys they have security they have job security they get paid great they're part of a union they have benefits they have dental they have uh you know a pension you know and most of those guys would have had nothing i mean you think about the half those guys they would have had nothing if it wasn't for a city job so i don't knock it i'm not mad at them it's the way they are you know it's the way when they first remember

when they first people get these jobs yeah they when they first get the jobs they act very uh but they don't know that that part of it is they're selling their soul part of that job is you gotta sell your fucking soul so that's uh that that's the listen man i know it is to sell your soul you sold your soul at one point they could have been it couldn't have been in the entertainment business could have been anything else i've sold my soul doing the job and i'll tell you what it doesn't feel good i never want to do it again you know i never want to fucking do it again i watched kurt fox the other day you know you know who kurt fox is he used to hang out at the store and he's got that morning he's got that morning show on cbs you know and the other morning i was

proud i don't know what the fuck i was watching the news or whatever and it was on and i was leaving the house and i hear two black people argue you know like fuck you i raised my motherfucking child you cheated on me and all of a sudden i see kurt fox in the middle of all this you know going uh if you've been cheated on watch this episode and i'm looking at kurt fox going you know what this may be a great paying job you know you're on cbs you have great exposure but this isn't what you signed up for stand-up comedy for i know man and i love kurt fox i'm not saying nothing bad about kurt fox what i'm saying is that this is not what you signed up for yes it's probably an avenue of it to be dr bill dr phil or to be in the middle of two fucking black people arguing about who got my

baby pregnant whatever but that's not what you signed up for i don't think and i think that when you cash in the checks at first and i'm not putting down kurt fox at all maybe it's what he wanted to do who the fuck am i the judge i love kurt i'm not putting kurt down i'm just saying that maybe in the beginning it sounds good but after a while this you're like what the fuck did i do i'd much rather be at the fucking you know houston fucking whatever club or i'd much rather be at the sacramento punchline than doing this i've always felt that way about tv you know when tim alan first got on tv remember after a couple years he kept going to rehabs yeah i kept putting them on rehabs and i always thought about it you know was that what put him in a fucking rehab was it you know as a stand

up comic you have this free spirit to you you really do you have this fucking free spirit to you you've decided as a stand-up comedian that you didn't want to be like everybody else you wanted to do something different you wanted to stay up at night and write jokes and not have job security you know how many fucking comedians have insurance you know how many comedians have fucking pensions you're just telling the world you know there's more comedians than what there are doctors or vice versa i don't know what the fucking thing is but you think about it philippe even you in a way you you didn't start on the right side of the tracks did you well that didn't man you know it's funny because i had a regular job you know i was working at

dodger state of me before i was doing stand-up you know i was making what for not even 1200 dollars a month you know then i quit all that to do stand-up and i didn't make that in a year that's fucking crazy no you leave it a good you can like it's like uh title guys you know why i'm like comedians that who told me they had a two us seven thousand dollar a month job you don't quit that to do comedy and then they will make that in a year man in the first year you'll make seven thousand dollars in the first year of comedy or if you're selling coke or marijuana on the side what's uh what's 50 i made 200 200 times 10 i made fucking 2400 my first year of comedy 50 dollars a week i was the host at the broker and i used to sell valium's and i used

to sell neon door-to-door that's how i made the money on the separate angle remember for last night's philippe i was sitting there and i was going fucking tuesday night where the fucking we go on tuesday remember on tuesday nights when i met your 15 years ago philippe every tuesday and wednesday we were out of the fucking house man doing comedy two three sets of fucking night for a hundred dollars remember that shit yeah we would go over his name of your room out there the daily planet the daily planet paid 40 what you know what i was thinking about last night we were a wild coyote that time and i got on stage and i was waiting for you to pay me and i went in the bathroom i had coke left over from dante i had one of those blue baggies remember and i went in

the bathroom i took a shit and i did what i had left and i threw it in the men's urinal and five minutes later the club manager came back with it with his hand remember he goes somebody put this fucking baggie in the urinal this is what i don't want at this club and everybody knew it was me but nobody fucking said nothing that's fucking crazy philippe i remember you remember that now me you know not to show up high to the show really we're 50 bucks yeah i think they did tell us not to show up fucking high but you know what man we were the first ones there we were the first ones there we had to pick up that 50 i had to get to the coke dealer we used to show started at nine you were telling you you would do that show and then you would show up with dante you're the black

dude yeah you know sometimes you would show up with the u of c i had to go i'm really not taking alco potty he didn't want to go up on a battle no no bro dante and the other coke dealer at el compadre with my the motel cartel the martel cartel they were my fucking life man the only reason why i went out at night nine out of ten times wasn't even to do comedy was to make the forty dollars to get the coke like i didn't care about the comedy the comedy was just an obstacle on the way i just i would drive and think about the stand-up on the drive down to the fucking gig and go i'm gonna do this and this and this and this i wouldn't even think about it all i wanted was the 40 from the daily planet the 25 from castle latina and the 20 from fucking mother sebastian's

rooms and i was good to go jack that's 60 dollars that's that's a 60 dollars in a pack of cigarettes and shit so you were smoking back there too a lot was to be about what i thought i was drinking again i i i had to make that walk he owed me what 60 bucks man i was like i would look forward for nighttime man just to go somewhere and hang out and be the man doing bumps by myself oh my god i didn't even know what i wanted to get the shit and i remember going a lot of battle and man they had mongols there they had everything there man and i remember when i first time somebody gave me crack for the first time man at monopelo at wild coyotes and i the guy gave it to me he would give me 60 i forgot what 60 looked like and i remember the guy when he gave it to me he said

man are you sure over and over are you sure and i said yeah i'm sure man i didn't even have a crack pipe i didn't have anything man i you know what i ended up smoking that crack with that blind guy that used to hang out at wild coyotes wasn't even a blind guy that used to hang out at wild coyotes destiny destiny you're a median comedian holy shit me and the blind guy ended up smoking crap the whole crack man at my house it's hysterical who you do crack with like i did thc fucking the angel dust with a pregnant chick once fucking amazing dog and i didn't know she was pregnant so after we smoked the angel dust and she's like yeah i'm like three months pregnant i was like god damn this is fucking crazy this is fucking crazy people like you meet man because at wild coyotes i remember

i met this girl and she was like coming out of the restroom and i know she did something and she invited me and then she told her i told her i haven't seen you in six months it was how you've been she said i'm fucking amazing i just beat a murder rap i'm like are you fucking serious she said yeah man hallelujah that is fucking yeah man cop with the mongol dog so i never i never seen her sit holy now where'd you used to see the mongols at man a battle bro they were there all the time but you just didn't know remember the big fight at the hop remember the hop in lakewood that's right i forgot all about that club too yeah bro that was thursday night bro you had a line dog you had a tino man on monday you could come to

latin on tuesday walk koyote on wednesday yeah thursday night walk koyote casino commerce casino or broody that's a hop yeah and then the hop the hop yeah the lakewood saturdays i had wild coyotes at 10 o'clock at 10 o'clock that's right that's fucking right if you walk with me during those days you were making 130 a week yeah you were making a little bit of fucking change every week and i said you that's right that's why you go to castle of tea that's why you went to the other place early because they'd always give you a nice green chili burrito delicious bro fucking next to the hospital right there right off fucking bevely right there that fucking castle of tea what is it now they reopened it and they did comedy one time i was

down there now what is it it's called antigua antiguas now yeah it's all red remember i you went there i went there with you that one night yeah we saw i think he's still there yeah he was there he ain't blind no more he's only blind in one eye he rub crack in it and shit that's what happens when you rub crack right in the fucking eyeball so you're at the ice house Friday and sat and you're ready sold out on wednesday dog yeah i'm already sold out two show friday two show saturday they added a third show saturday at six p.m holy shit the matinee show and i'm going to win a soda bro for one night in minnesota i know in november what club um choke joints i don't know what that number ten that must be a new fucking club because they got acne and they got the house

of whatever up on the top of the mall of america yeah they want the same paul oh same paul okay joke joints okay you're a bad motherfucker filipe you talked to me i'm gonna land on November 13th by myself atlanta yeah the punchline yeah oh shit you bad motherfucker that's a good club out there filipe you always have a fucking good time bro i missed out on c as much as i used to we used to know we're always busy you're always busy you always to fucking get away filipe you know it's uh once you become a professional man you got different obligations now you can't be fucking around the daytime you got to write jokes and you got to write this and you got to prepare this and and now my wife decides to spit out a fucking baby which i'm going to nashville tomorrow

to pick him up i gotta fly back with them next week so it's always something man you know my days are cutting half now they really are today i got a fucking busy day we were supposed to do this podcast in the afternoon i gotta take blood out today filipe i fucking hate it they want a pint of blood dog that's gonna take a fucking 10 15 minutes i'm gonna faint eight times i don't want a pint of blood yeah i don't know how i'm gonna fucking handle that man you you have left pints of blood on a one nose bro and one napkin fuck i know i know fucking a pint of fucking blood bro i'm gonna fucking be squirming and giggling and fucking dying and crying i already feel like you can eat those bad

oh you i fucking hate them with all my heart and i hate giving blood you i like never did heroin man i mean either i didn't do it i i smoked that shit yeah i snorted i love it but i can't do fucking needles that would kill me that would fucking kill me man and last night i was watching son's anarchy and she was drawing her own blood and that's how much blood she took out of herself a fucking pint and i seen what the paint looks like and i nearly well how many ounces in that bottle water this is uh 17 yeah so that's what i'm filling up a bottle of fucking blood oh Jesus fucking christ i'm gonna be dizzy i'm gonna be fucking sick and shit god damn it Felipe but that's it bro that's

all i got for you man no i was thinking about all the you know what i was thinking about last night Felipe and you came into mind because you know we didn't come from no fucking uh house of cars we didn't come from no house where there was breakfast every morning and they were singing john belias songs and shit i was thinking about how much i was i didn't have breakfast or got to school yeah i was thinking about how much pain plays into the comedy game you know how much pain is probably like i catch myself on stage doing a joke and i'm ranting and the words aren't funny Felipe it's the rent but if you really simplify it's not even a rant it's the pain that you're seeing the pain and the passion is what fuels fucking stand up you know and uh sometimes i

look at something like jim jim gaffigan it looks like he came from a perfect house you know yeah and i go this pain fuel his stand up you know i mean jim gaffigan looks like the perfect white guy you know uh bobby commons you know those people look like they grew up in a nice house you know as me i'm sorry you know you know he grew up with fucking hindu's jumping up and down and playing the flute so you know what what do you feel like i mean you know i grew up in a fucked up house you grew up in a fucked up house when you look at those guys where's that pain come from for the comedy you know i mean so yeah it always you know when i was thinking about you last night this uh i was thinking about you know even felipe felipe has had some fucking heartache in his life you

know he didn't come from no fucking brady bunch you know yeah really it's even like you and the people like this people are i didn't grow up with no parents you know i didn't grow up with no dad but you know what two people out there who do grow up with their parents you know what they miss approval of having your parents approval is fucking more painful than not having fucking parents yeah i never thought about that when's the mother fucker all day man and you seek like a little nah bro like everybody loves kind of comedy man there's a approval every single single time i go up on stage a little fist bump you know a little join on the side hey i like you you're so fucking funny but man to get that from a parent it's hard man like my dad like i see somebody

comedian man with their mom and dad at the show are you fucking kidding me how hard it is to get my dad to go anywhere out of my house and turn telewundo off are you fucking crazy and i and i said but i didn't get a little challenge man i see these guys they're all up and with their dads you know and they're they're proud all my son is fucking doing this doing that shit man i told i don't want to tell my dad i want to be a comedian and you say are you fucking crazy stick with this job of ups you're gonna be driving soon it's amazing when you go home and tell your family that you're thinking about doing stand-up comedy or something that they've never even fucking done before they look at you like you got three heads

so you're right what you're saying bro yeah they don't feel like that man like they don't they don't they see it like you're gonna be is it they see it like you're gonna be an astronaut will be easier than you being an entertainer or a comedian you know at least if you go to astronaut fucking school when you join the service or whatever you have to do go to nassau go to university colorado you have a time frame in your life at least you have an idea what's gonna happen when we stand up comedy you have no fucking idea when it's gonna happen when you have no fucking idea you don't know nothing you might write this week off and on friday you might get a call for some fucking movie you know you might write this week off and on wednesday you might get

a call that there's a fallout in Orlando florida you got to fill the fucking gap so there is no schedule you know there really is no time frame uh with this you might be doing comedy three years and become a household name or you could do comedy 20 years and become a household name or you could do comedy for your whole fucking life and nobody gets to know you that's all your decision guys it'll be giving you coming your whole life and you're only known on bob and tom yeah you know whatever that's that's even better you know those guys those guys you know you make up your mind the way you want to do comedy hey i started in denver all those guys i started in denver with they made a decision to stay in denver and work triple runs and and

that's works for them that works for them i knew early on that if i was going to do this i wanted to be in the mix i didn't think i was good enough to be in the mix not by no fucking chances at no level i never thought i'd be in spider-man 2 that was not in my dreams i never thought i'd be in a fucking denero movie or an adam sandler movie i never even dreamt that Felipe i thought that i would be an extra if i was lucky maybe three or four times on a show like honest to god i thought i would be an extra like i'm like i may be good enough to be an extra like somewhere along the line who's the boss or tony danza something like that but i like that be like that guy holding a newspaper in the office of that creed yeah that's it i never dreamt of movies or television i just

knew that i'm not going to sit here in fucking colorado and play wyoming every other week and two son arizona that's not my life and come back to the comedy works and talk about the club and fucking uh kansas that's not what i wanted to do i was gonna see the world i was gonna get really funny and i knew that i at least wanted to give it a try i knew that i would audition for a movie and get turned down but to me that was huge to walk into a fucking audition that was huge so i never dreamt a half i never knew i'd be doing a podcast with the flying june you know what i'm saying i love you felipe when am i gonna see you cocksucker uh this week man if you're around now i gotta leave tomorrow but when i come back next week i'm here all week with no drama i love

to see you smoke some joy i'll be here i love you cocksucker yeah i'll be here all week too hey man thank you for sharing you know you're always family here i'm happy you called in for me brother what's up felipe thank you i'm coming out on saturday i think oh yeah yeah yeah you gotta put his name on the door for saturday all right yeah lea plus one what time uh whatever show works for you the late show would be cool but if that's all that i don't mind the early show you yeah he's bringing this mexican girl from brother if you want to come and just hang out just come out i'll be there in the green room yeah bring your girlfriend telling me felipe in the green room yeah the mexican girl yeah yeah yeah she's coming oh that's that's why we're coming we watched

we watched uh uh they're they're all laughing at me what is it what's your special on netflix called they're not gonna laugh at you they're not gonna laugh yeah we watched that and she loved it and when she saw you were at the ice house uh because i've been introducing her to comment she said oh i want to go see felipe so fuck it all right man cool all right so saturday night you guys are hooking up he'll bring you a present make sure he eats an edible in front of you felipe make sure he puts it in his mouth and makes you watch him chew it because he'll turn around and spit it out this cocksucker i love you buddy thank you all right all right all right beautiful people that's crazy let me give me some fucking shout outs to my man timmy tampons my man

jeff bass my man jane haze roe brot i want to fucking salute the whole death squad network and all the death squad fucking chapters from from fucking orius i love you all you motherfuckers i ain't gonna lie to you but i got shit to do and uh you know things work out that way you know i love all my death squad people i see death squad nashville giving the love nor cal all you motherfuckers are savages death squad Harlem death squad nashville i've sent nashville already together number two i was in the shower this morning and i thought i had to shave and i didn't have to shave and i wondered why when was the last time i shaved i shaved a day and a half ago with the butter from dollar shave club and the fucking new razor and i'll tell you what it was fucking smoother than

shit it just started growing this morning this morning that new shaver must have gone in and took hairs out of there and didn't give me a fucking razor stubble for a day listen i told you once i told you a million times go to dollar shave club it's a great fucking deal it's either one dollar a month six dollars a month or nine dollars a month what you get in between is up to you what is it one six and nine right what the fuck you doing your fingers forecast look at those things they look like little vienna sausages you stick your finger up somebody's ass it's all over they got a sudden dirt say the hot dog fucking uh one dollar six dollars and nine dollars listen you can't live without this deal if you go for razors i looked at the supermarket the other

how much razors are they're fucking expensive some of them for those single razors they're like good with the handle like 20 30 bucks a pop this is a handle and you get four blades four sets of blades a month some come with double blades some come with the fucking howl howl strip it all depends on what you want to pay but that's the most important thing so for twelve dollars a year is what you're trying to tell me joey i could get fucking i could shave my face my balls in my asshole yes you fucking can't go to dollar shave club go to my fucking banner go to joeydeas.net go to the banner and click on it's just dollar shave club banner or go to dollarsaveclub.com slash church but i'd rather you go to joey coco deas and clip onto that fucking

thing because that way i'm no misunderstandings go to joeydeas.net click on the dollar shave club what are they pressing the box not if you click on the button box nothing if you go to the websites church church okay so there you have it the other thing i want to talk to you about too that's no fucking game hulu plus is gonna end this thing they're gonna come crying to me in january going joey where's hulu i finally got this i finally got a tv i finally got a fucking head listen to me you fucking mo mo you don't need a tv you know this shit you got a good thing about hulu you can download to your ipad to a phone to anything any fucking devices if you got a a sheet with a fucking whatever you gotta see how much smoke there is in this room if you go to a

sheet you can fucking download it go to huluplus.com now go to joeydeas.net go to the hulu plus click on what just click on the banner joey joey joey joey the fucking hulu plus you get two weeks for free and after that is 799 a month that's it eight dollars a fucking month 96 a year who's better than you so you shave your asshole and you fucking get tv or entertainment they got new shows they got original programming they got old shows they got side night live every week i get an email from hulu telling me about all the good shit they got go to fucking hulu plus or better yet go to joey deas.net and click on fucking both of them and cut this shit it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive and i'm trying to make it better you're feeling down you can't sleep you need more help with your

proteins you need more recovery with your shit cut it out go to onit.com and look at what they got they got everything from new mood on there they got stevia to putting your fucking coffee or your cereal your protein shakes you get no fucking cancer your asshole ain't itchy all the good shit you got fucking alpha brain make your brain fucking fire like a machine gun you understand me so you're quick you're jumping you're cutting motherfuckers off on your local highways that's why you go to on it to stay sharp to stay healthy go to onit.com get whatever the fuck you want to get 10% off what are they pressing the box church this is what i'm talking about you can't fucking lose my uncle joey on a fucking wednesday a monday a wednesday night you can't fucking lose speaking

of which is sadly i'm at harvey southport and next wednesday a special before halloween live podcast with my man arish afia that's a tremendous that's a tremendous fucking you had to see your pants i'm dying to smell you oh that's fucking come over here sit on my lap oh this is the tremendous get sexual with you towards the end of the pod who gets sexual you do but i don't get sexual which i sit on my lap you're gonna stick your fingers up so i'm dead i want you to smell the fucking part of life oh jesus i don't want you to pass this up what the fuck do i got in my hair there's nothing legal giggle on this shit look at the fucking little cock sucker our day struck you sit open the window oh you should need an after just leave that what the fuck

there you go that's how i could smell it better you know what you need a little plug of this so you can smell it no i i i is there anything i can get the opposite it's it's it's okay your own asshole cock sucker scratch your ass on sniffing why wasn't that something took a shower yesterday what time like three so you didn't take a shower after work last night You don't watch that fucking muffler. No, did you shit after you took a shower yesterday? Okay, you know what your ass smells like right now like ten dead fucking Jews You have such weird rules he comes in for 20 minutes a day. I watch sports and there's no more sports on a cop Tucker won the last time ESPN put $20 in your pocket like

What what is going on who did no one takes a shower twice a day? No, they do no people take a shower twice a day You come home from work you're touching computers you're sitting on somebody else's chair Try to help you out here when you come home from work at night The first thing you do is you put that hot water on you take a little piss your shit You drink whatever you're drinking the water's getting nice and hot you go in there you take a nice shower You don't want to walk around with your ass. I was thinking do you yeah What if a chick broke in here and wanted to eat your ass at three in the morning?

She'd pull your little jute plants down and there's your ass smell like Hanukkah fucking biscuits You know I'm saying they don't need that if someone broke in my way You're gonna look me in the face and tell me your ass don't smell like a goat right now It does okay, then how can you sit there like a man and say I'm gonna sit here on Fucking showers. Yes, I thought like that too. So if I want my ass not to smell like a goat I have to shower every 20 minutes. You take a little fucking shower then you watch TV You put your feet up and you who's better than you? I know you ate a snack when you got home at two last night. No, I didn't you didn't eat some shit my house

You don't have nothing. No chicken. No tamales. I don't have any string cheese. Digi. None. Don't lie to me Come on. I know you ate one or two string cheese. Okay, you didn't say what you eat for dinner last night. I Don't fucking remember what did I have last night? What'd you have? You know, yeah? Oh, I had a Caesar salad From where from it's called like wildflower just right next to right next to my office. You like Caesar salad Fucking love it's a word. So only salad I eat and it's a worse salad for you But it's crazy at least you're eating salads brother. So I love you. I'm trying you for that You never juice it again. I don't know. I have to I have to But good Joe, you're never gonna juice again. That shouldn't I knew it last time I looked on your face

You look like you were fucking going to Auschwitz to look on your face. You didn't want to juice I don't blame you. No one wants to do anything, but no one wants to be fucking heavy anyways You're a dick slinger. What have you you're a you're a handsome motherfucker. Look at no, I'm fat. I'm happy the way I am like it's always been I'm fucking stone. Give me break. Anyways, I like how you said that. I'm Happy the way I am. You're a handsome dude. Well, you don't take a little shit from nobody. No, but I said this on Monday Every time we have a phone call it it to they talk about something. I'm thinking about I'm pissed. I'm you call me last night and I'm fucking it's the end of the show. So I'm doing bullshit work

But I got really kind of depressed last night because I realized like People who start out being comedians or go to film school or whatever you're doing in this industry They start out because they want to they have thoughts about I'm gonna do this if I'm gonna make a really good movie I'm gonna be the best comic and The square root of everything in this industry Every TV show every show you go to every fucking thing is all they care about is making money All they care about is people watching the ads or people buying the drinks at the shows and It's the weirdest thing that everyone who gets in this doesn't

They they get into it because they want to do something you can tell like people who want to be comics want to do it To be Different and have something to say and then you see Kirk Fox doing what are the tests? I think it's called on CBS and again, I'm not mad at Kurt I don't want people to go to curtain say Kurt Joey. No, no, I'm just saying that I'm sure someone the scheme of things in the middle of two people black people yelling at each other Kurt Fox is going Jesus Christ comedy was a lot easier than this shit And yeah, it could be like the redoing the Arsenio show and you're not talking about Kirk

He was just the example. He saw yesterday, but it's just like it's so weird that people get into this wanting to do one thing And it all ends up it all gets fucking put out the shitter and and people are trying to do the least for them the most for the least amount of money and They don't really kid. They don't really care about what the quality is because as long as enough people watch it to get ads paid for That's all that matters and it's a little wicked and listen man, and it's not just in the industry. It's people in their own personal lives Yeah, that's why we do the show, you know that that's why we do the show I got a lot of faults man, but when I stick my hands into something I go for something whether I was a thief You know whether I was a fucking car salesman whether I was a stand-up comedy

That's what I'm trying to let people know I'm a piece of shit But if you commit to something Something good's always gonna fucking happen Lee. Well, I mean I would hope so But how do you as a someone who like you have to rely on other people to get jobs? You can you could work really hard and Auntie's I'm sorry, and I like him on the TV show, but he's popular so he's always gonna get the preference So you could work Like you you like to think if you work hard something good's always gonna happen But there has to be people who work really hard and nothing good fucking happens like like

Don't you ever get like depressed when you go in for all those auditions and don't get it like well How bad would I feel if I didn't try it? Well, that's the thing. Yeah, but it's like how bad if I feel What happened to that guy that one day got up in Denver and he says I want to try stand-up comedy And he fucking got into it and he works and he works and he got married. He doesn't want to go to LA He doesn't like it. It just doesn't agree with him. Thank God the guy has a voice God bless him for saying, you know what? I don't want to live in LA. I just don't want to do it Yeah, I want to live in New York and be a stand-up comic. He lives in New York And he's a stand-up comic and he works 45 weeks a year and he gets the certain pay that it is for stand-up comedy

Which still is not bad even though he has to drive and he can't take a plane and he keeps his expenses low And at the end of it all he put away money. He bought a house He raised two kids. So what if he didn't get on TV? So what if we didn't get to find out his fucking name? He stuck true to who he wanted to be in his dream Exactly. He did it his way And that's all that fucking matters Lee is that you're doing something who gives a fuck if you fail If you didn't try Yeah, you know, it's worse than failing is not trying at all and I'm not trying to be a cliche or whatever

But I know that's what it's been like for me When I sit there and I'm watching TV at night, why do I can't watch Sports Center? Why do you fucking think I don't have time for that shit? Because one day you realize that the guy you're going up against he ain't watching Sports Center The guy that has the same dream as you he ain't got time to watch the fucking Jets on Sunday. Yeah, he ain't watching that shit The guy that has the real dream doesn't have time for that shit. You know, there was 10 years I didn't know what TV was because all I wanted to be was the best comic. I could fucking be Lee I Couldn't tell you who the fuck was on TV when I met Joe Rogan and they told me he was on news radio

I thought he was on CNN. I thought he was a sportscaster That's how committed I was to stand up comedy comedy has done at night TV's on at night. Sorry I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yeah, you know, I did Dom Herera's podcast and Dom Herera He says he has the basketball mentality It's too it's too in the afternoon. You're on the boat with your mother sailing the guy that you're gonna try it against he's practicing He's practicing in the back of your mind. He's fucking practicing. So that's what you're always doing That's why at night when I watch, you know, it's night, you know They place three episodes of Sons of Anarchy on Tuesday the same episode they play it over and over again

They play three fucking times. I watch it once I go in the back room and get this podcast ready for today I got to look through the people that get shot out. I got to look through the sponsors See if they put anything different and that that 20 minutes of preparation me not watching the TV show makes this so much better Yeah, you know when I did the podcast with Felicia Felicia is a beautiful fucking person. I love Felicia I miss her at times. I miss our conversations. I miss our friendship, but Felicia didn't want to prepare for the podcast It's getting into heavier zones now. There's not 200 podcasts normally There's a thousand of them. Yeah, and every week, there's another 10 podcasts and for us to stay current I don't want to be the number one podcast

I don't want to put that much pressure on me All I want to do is have a good time to tell people the fucking truth on here and for them to do something with it Whether they laugh at it whether they take what we're telling them about trying whatever the fuck they take when we talk about weights Or when the guy calls in from the UFC There's always something they could take from the show and that's the most important fucking thing to me about this show I don't even give a fucking they laugh one time. I can't be funny every fucking day. Nobody can't But I know that they could get the energy that we're putting out together. You know I'm saying cocksucker. No, it's crazy And I don't I didn't mean to be down

But it's just I don't know if it was a comic or someone there was something I was watching at one point Where someone said I want to be like Shaq rich or someone said Shaq isn't which the guy who signs Shaq Shaq is rich And it's just like I was thinking about it and The amount of effort like I see you put in and other people and Then at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how much work you put into it If they think you're gonna sell Nike sneakers They're gonna put you on and it's I think that it's why podcasts have taken off But it started to creep into podcasts like you look at like the charts and

The podcast that you know are good or number 50 number 40 number 60 and then the same Seven are like Kevin Smith. I like Kevin Smith's movies. I was a big fan I'd kind of tape it off a little bit and he has like four or five that are always in the top 20 If you listen to them, they're garbage and they have 40 minutes of commercials and they have they're selling you 8,000 t-shirts And then they have live dates and It started to creep into that that the advertisers are realizing. Oh people listen to this or and Like Adam Carolla is another one

He has 8 million podcasts and he has he has them we walked along with movies And he has a wine that he sells for whatever fucking reason and it's just it's it really It makes you put the sour taste in my mouth. That's not we have you have bills to pay and I have bills to pay I never wanted to get rich off this podcast We have a few sponsors to pay the lights to give you some dough You have a tube bedroom apartment here and people have to understand that I don't ever want like I said We get called for sponsors every day. I call you we laugh. We laugh sometimes like oh my god I'm some guy off of this this, you know, we have a tequila company off for his money. I didn't want to do it

I could sit here I want you people to get something out of the sponsors and I don't want to sit here and laden this all with sponsors or late I listen to podcasts and I'm not gonna tell you who's or why's or when I know the good ones I know the bad ones. I know the guys that are faking the funk Another guys that are really fucking trying. I'll tell you what me and Leah really trying and this podcast isn't the best Podcast all the fucking time. I know that we got holes in our game. Maybe it's not the intelligent podcast Or maybe it's not the funniest podcast and I'll tell you what man even I know that there's a podcast Maybe number 89. That's a lot funny in ours. Mm-hmm probably is it's just two kids

They're just giggling and laughing and maybe that's what you're into. I can't get mad at you You know if there's something we're going on this country like talking about David tell on Monday. No, you sure I don't think so David tell and Bobby Slayton and no, no, we had the conversation. You know guys You get better as you do stand up if you came to see me ten years ago You'd probably say yet Joey was okay But there was something missing and then you moved on with your life right now Because of the podcast people come to see me and I know that in two years This will taper off and I'll be a regular Joe and life will go back to what it is

And I understand this and there's nothing I could do but I gotta tell you guys something It's not that I'm not funny no more. It's a I moved on and I'm not whatever anymore and that's fine That happens in life. You can't stay on top forever. You can't be popular forever And I know this going in but I tell you what I also know I know that After you guys stop seeing me. Do you think I'm gonna drop my work ethic? No, I'm gonna get better and better and better as a stand-up comic because I want you people to come back And maybe you won't or maybe you will but I'll tell you something There's some comics working today like Jake Johansson and Wendy Liebman and Bobby Slayton

And just a handful of comics that maybe aren't the flavor of the month, but let me tell you something man David tell is funny than he's ever been Bobby Slayton is funny than he's ever been Wendy Liebman is funny than she's ever been Why because you people aren't going to see him and they've continued to write and evolve If you're not doing something in your local town and life's boring go see one of these guys and give them the support They deserve you're gonna go then you're gonna go see a 14 people there, but you're gonna laugh like you haven't laughed In a long fucking time, you know why because these people are like Otto on Sons of Anarchy. They are not the Lewis

So don't ever give up on these comic It's like when I see the Rolling Stones top 50 fucking comics. Are you fucking kidding me? I look at that and I giggle because they can't do the job I do they're judging comics on popularity and oh my god. She's so great on this show. Yeah, but like I tell you a thousand times It's cotton direct There's cotton is editing and there's a laugh track when you come see my stand-up or Domarera stand-up or David tell stand-up There's no fucking cutting edits and those motherfuckers ain't making no top 50 list So get your shit together

Get off the fucking commercial bandwagon and go see what real fucking entertainment's like and the same thing happens with bands People send me bands that are fucking outrageous that nobody knows about that's the best thing about the internet now that these all these young bands I don't know what their fucking names are dragon breath Stinky ass Jews fire. It doesn't matter, you know Go seek out fucking great talent. Don't fucking get in bed and go my god Lifestops is fucking community. It doesn't it fucking doesn't guys So get your shit together. I like to thank fucking Hulu. I like to think on it I want to thank fucking Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring us my man Felipe the most important

I want to thank all you motherfuckers for getting up early or downloading and giving us a shot to come into your fucking world One hour three hours a week like I said next week. We have two podcasts, but Wednesday night is live this Saturday I'm at fucking Jackson at Harvey's South Street comedy I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening and most important to get out there sling some dick and put your heart on your sleeve And don't let nobody stop your fucking dream. Tell them all to suck your fucking dick cockseptice. I love you Stay black. Have a great weekend and keep smoking. Oh, shit now that the show's over Don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu plus Hulu plus let you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your TV PC smartphone or tablet

Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu plus when you go to Hulu plus comms last Joey Or go to joey Diaz net and click on the Hulu plus banner and also don't forget to sign up for dollar shave club comm You'll get a high quality razor sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail Now go to dollar shave club comm slash search or go to joey Diaz net and click on the dollar shave club banner You You You