Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 10/28/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #22

Episode Date: October 29, 2012

Joey and Lee have another special edition Sunday gamblng podcast. Joey also gives Lee dating advice. Special Gambling guest Danny B calls in again. Recorded live on 10/28/2012

oh shit the church what's happening now Sunday October 27 Lee shine on crazy diamond play that motherfucker for these beautiful people oh shit it's the Lord's Day Lee Lee Lee when they K8 a flying Jew Joey Coco Diaz the church of what's happening now a little pink Floyd to get your Sunday off started right I hope you had a great weekend Lee what's happening you bad motherfucker you I'm doing great man I'm just a rough rough night last night but I'm doing great I'm happy to be here you work like two 10-hour shifts didn't yeah yeah I'm thinking about it man and it I this guy I've worked with posted a

picture he's like 80 years old and he posted a picture on Facebook last night said him and his wife are the only two people out of ten people still left in the picture and that like it fucking blew my mind I'm like shit when I'm 80 years old do I want to like be here like think back to my Saturday nights and I've been working I'm like I don't know if it's worth it but I'm doing it right now and it's alright you're 24 fucking years old Lee what are you worried about when you're 84 the picture what happens if you leave here today go for Burger King get the croissant and it blows your ass whole lot and then all the you know I'm

saying live your fucking I think that you think you're missing something you're not missing anything Lee you're 24 years old what do you want to be doing you want to be at the clubs dancing chick sucking your dick you can't even have a black chick fart in your face without having a heart attack if a chick puts that monkey in your face you're gonna die you're a good fucking kid you're a good kid got no drug problems you don't drink you mind your business I know it's just like seeing that picture and then thinking like oh shit I'm at work on a Saturday night until four in the morning on the go God well what are your

options you know listen let me tell you something when I was a kid I had to get a job and I would work Fridays I would load trucks on Fridays and Saturdays but after a while I knew that I would party during the week it was no big fucking deal I was still gonna do you know I'm missing nothing Lee you got a nice job you know how many people in this country don't have fucking jobs today yeah that's why I don't get it together you have no substance abuse problems you know I'm saying you got to go to the gym like me and that's it but beside that you're a good fucking kid you're not missing them what do you I mean it

seems like you want to go out there and be hanging out with people and what's going on with this broad you send this brother picture your dick yet that's what you got to do you got to work on these chicks you got to practice on these fucking freaks you know I've actually because you when we went to the ice house the other night for testicle testaments and you and Jordan were giving me shit and I was I wasn't really raised religious I mean a little bit but nothing really that crazy and it just makes me so uncomfortable to like be that like straightforward with yeah it's all I've always been nervous around

girls but like the thing like tell them you're gonna like lead the last one on fire like I get like I feel like I'm gonna have a listen what do you want look let me explain something I'm gonna tell you something I'm gonna tell the people home something that I've known for a long time and I just never like to talk about it when I'm on stage I talk about sex sometimes but I tell you why talk about sex sometimes not that I'm a dumb fuck which I am really a dumb fuck the problem I talk about sex is because I hate it since I was a kid I've always hated sex you know I'm good at basketball I'm good at talking shit on

the corner I'm not good at it I was always very I can't even go for a massage do you know that like I went with my wife three months ago she said her stomach hurts I take it for a massage over here I don't give you a hand job or nothing but still just the thought of people touching me and shit like that drives me crazy you know when you're a kid you always want to have sex the sexual experiences I had as a kid fuck me for life you know I was thinking it's Halloween week and then and I always hate Halloween not because I hate Halloween I never got dressed up for Halloween after I was 15 but one of the

reasons why I hate this weekend it's this weekend the next weekend I really don't like it is because it was one of the last weekends I had with my mother mm-hmm and I remember staying out with Joe Focaraccio and Steve Avillo and all those guys and get home and she smacked me because I came home at five in the morning and later on she told me she wanted me to be a man or whatever and I always think about that I forget my trainer thought I'm fucking stoned but anyway anyway it's just so weird that last night I was driving home and I'm seeing all these fucking zombies and shit I'm like you know what man I haven't

dressed up in years what the fuck is wrong with me you know but I'm too uptight mm-hmm and it's funny that I was thinking about after my mom died this girl called me up with sympathy pussy so I had not had sex with before like sub the titties I was like 16 15 and she called me she's like I'm sorry about your mom and stuff do you want me to come over and she fucking I don't we were both kids so I had to walk to her house get it and walk her back to my house now for like 10 days after my mother died I stayed in my house by myself with an aunt that I had Zorida from New York City and I remember her Zorida would get

fucked up at night and she was passed out so that night this girl Helene came over was her name and I had like I said I had fooled around with her like suck the tits and shit like that and that night she took a pant I mean we were swapping spit and then she fell on the bed and I was taking her pants off as I was taking her pants off she had a fucking period it was that time of the month but she didn't have a tampon and she had a cortex and a pop open a fucking tongue from a little like a tongue and I never forget I was mummified I was fucking mummified I just looked at the pussy look at the tail whatever it is not

the tampon but the cortex and it was just it just fucking shelled me and I'm about to tell her like I can't do this like I'm too depressed my mother and walking her home wanting to kill her and walking home when I never really seen her again she's on Facebook now obviously like all the freaks are but those little stories I tell you fucking traumatize me my friends took me to the 1040 Club it's a joke I brought on stage that really fucked with me because I was too young I was too prepared I wasn't prepared I thought I wanted to do it we all think we can handle fucking everything and we're kids but we really

can't but it stayed with me so it's funny I don't have I don't put a lot of weight on sex I have friends that will look me in the face and go I gotta go out trying to get sex so because all that shit that I don't really like sex I've always attacked it as it's it's not worth the drama like to me it's not worth the fucking drama but I got to take you out to dinner listen to your bullshit you know pay for dinner pay for this take it to a movie and then maybe we'll get lucky and the first three times is the most awkward you ever gonna be in your fucking life yeah like the first time you take a woman's clothes off to

me is the most awkward you are yeah I talk shit but I've realized the reason why I did all that stupid shit I did like getting my dicks up in closets and comedy clubs and shit just because I really don't like the contact I really don't like the contact too much you know I'm saying don't get me wrong I get like everybody else and I bang one out or you don't bang one out but that's what it is sometimes like I'm going up and I go I'll go to a bar and pick up a check or go to a strip club it me banging one out for three minutes takes care of all that like it's not worth the weight so by me not putting that much weight on sex

you know I had a friend Glenn Conti it was brothers gonna call him in a couple weeks Glenn was a very good looking guy he was never owned in Italian oh think of a dark Italian with a blue fucking eyes the guy would sling dick but it wasn't as much as he was good looking as what he would say to women he would throw them for a fucking loop in 1982 I hung out with Glenn every night and I'll tell you what every time we went out he would either get his dick sucked at the bar or fuck the chick or fuck him in a car or have a story and I couldn't figure out all because he's good looking no because he had no fear there was no

net for him he go up to a woman and go excuse me you're looking beautiful I'm gonna suck your pussy tonight and either they'd smack him or they'd walk away from him or sit there and enjoy it yeah if he what and I asked him why he did that he goes you know what it just gets me closer to them I'm like let's you closer to him but then years later I worked for a very smart Jew Kurt and he told me that in his pitch I used to tell a market firm that the first the first fucking paragraph of his pitch was to get people to hang up the phone like he wanted to blow them out of the water so I started figuring out what my friend

Glenn was doing he was just blowing chicks head out of the water so either it's like I tell you it's either blue cheese with wings or go fuck your mother if you don't have blue cheese then we have nothing to talk about there was nothing for us to talk about what are we sitting here same thing with whatever we don't it's like when I had my ballsack up at the fucking avatar on Twitter and people get mad at me that's what I wanted I wanted people to go I don't want to follow a guy with his ball and they're like that we end this right now we don't have to I don't have to get offended if I watch you know wash

your cock and sniff your balls it's Friday I don't need somebody to get fucking offended you follow me I'm too old to offend people if you don't like your mother go listen to somebody else that's fine that's what life is about is variety that's why we live in America we have choices on what to listen to but back to that anyway now you got this chick and what are you gonna do you're gonna sit there and talk about what my grandmother and make believe like you give a fuck because all that's what we do is guys we make believe we give a fuck you and I both know what the square root of this is that little dirty

fucking pussy that you got between your legs and I hate to put that like this if ladies listen to it but this helps you because now you know where the fuck you stand you know I roll in this life I want to know where the fuck I stand so that's the whole thing so you go up to a girl Lee you're like me Lee when I fucking we're not Brad Pitt's so we're working on personality we're working on energy and we're working on dick slinging yeah dick slinging is how you walk up to this bitch you ever see a ugly fucking dude with a hot bitch yeah is it cuz he's got three million dollars no he probably eats a pussy and he's

probably confident she was looking for a confident man that's my thing that it's confidence I've never had a problem like when I have sex it's not I the sex isn't the problem for me I've been fine with it and I've never that's not that's on my issue I've always been terrified of a pro like just the talking thing terrifies me well terrifies me so that's why I say to you what what the fuck just get to the heart of the fucking noodle you know when you eat that pussy got a tear through skin to get to the full point somewhere in there same thing in a relationship somewhere in there to quit somewhere in there oh no go higher

finger it up I don't need this I got to get gloves and fucking goggles and shit yeah the point being that if you don't like it like me just fucking drop it listen man I've been sitting here for an hour you're a beautiful woman why don't we cut this shit you shaved your pussy tonight you deodorize those titties let's take your home and let's do what you came out to do let's do but we're gonna lie to each other and put this shit I like music I like this I like Pink Floyd no you don't know you don't got a year from now you gotta tell the truth that you hit for you hate fucking Pink Floyd now you got no fucking

relationship yeah no relationship at all listen I've been with this woman I'm with for 14 years she's seven months pregnant you want me to say a white lassen one never been bullshit this is day one yeah there's never been like the first ten days I explained who I was what I hated what I didn't like that that's why I'm with this girl because I didn't know like any other guy in the beginning oh you like pink I like pink no you don't like fucking pink you hate pink well a little fucking devil head do now y'all I love you know whatever it kind of bite you in the ass somewhere along the line that's why when comics

date hot comic chicks nine out of ten the hot comic chick isn't that fucking funny but they date them anyway with the with the thing that they are funny yeah the day Lido now they're stuck with this woman for fucking 15 years of not being funny what are you gonna do you tell at the eleventh year you would never funny that's one of my dick suck that's why be honest with everybody from the beginning if you be honest in the beginning you got no fucking worries man I could say whatever the fuck I want in front of my wife because she knows from day one I've been honest I'm not here to bullshit nobody you know it's the

reason why I do this podcast the main thing about this podcast this podcast is called the church of what's happening now motherfucker but I have a lot of friends on here from the old days you know I have these friends on for credibility you know why because it haunts me credibility because I know 15 motherfuckers that are on TV shows another 50 that have podcasts another 50 comedians that people think of great people their fucking scumbags they got you confused yeah when I talk dirty up front when I say this shit because I want you to know where the fuck you stand if you don't like me go listen to

somebody fake you're probably a fucking fake yourself that's why you enjoy that shit yeah that's why you enjoy that shit because you're probably a fucking fake yourself you know I see these people on TV and I'm like oh they're fucking you know I hear people in interviews that did nothing and they talk about like they played football for 15 years or they did something for 20 years they did it for two fucking years I've never told people I was a gangster or moms I told people I made fucking mistakes am I proud of them fuck no when I do them again hell yeah that's how you fucking learn that's how you have a good day these stories

that I tell people they fucking just get fascinated they did or fabricated I'm sorry my fucking English ain't that good I got it's time to hit the vapor penalty that's what the fuck the problem is we didn't get highly small in cocksuck I'm watching you two three four five we'll take some this thing has been saving me lately really the king fucking Louie and I'll tell you how popular they get they're out and no organic no organic they're out I went in there last night to get another tube there I gotta wait till I see the kid next weekend in Ontario at the improv Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday don't

forget about me cocksuckers if you're close by San Diego whatever come on up we're gonna have great weeks Thursday I got Corey and Chad featuring George Perez Friday and Saturday got Felicia Michaels I just had Sunday I got Edwin San fucking Juan okay Felicia's freezing her ass off right now in Alaska you know how that goes but that's why I do this shit you know and eventually I'm gonna have different guests on this week I'm gonna have a guest Jim Handion who really taught me how to become a comic he taught me about goals like when people go you know by the end of the year I want to have 10

million dollars that's great but how you gonna achieve these fucking goals I gotta work every day I gotta vest I gotta have my shoes shine I can't fuck you know I'm saying that's what he'd make you do I worked with Jim Handi when I was a car salesman Toyota yeah and I had learned how to sell cars from this guy Artie Pressler but but Jim Handi really taught me life because what he taught me applied for the rest of my life and everything when I come to you and I go I have I gotta have 10 minutes in 10 days I don't just write that my notebook I gotta have 10 new minutes I write down a I gotta perform every night

B I gotta write jokes every fucking day and I gotta put them together what things are gonna get you there and I do this I do monthly goals weekly goals and I do fucking yearly goals and quarterly goals why not we pay taxes quarterly you might as well do your shit quality so I'm gonna have him calling but after a while I'm gonna have like Josh Wolf and friends of mine that coming from today calling the more the promise all these motherfuckers living in LA they don't wake up at 6 30 yeah you know I'm a soul fucking survivor here so I gotta get up but this is why because I want to have credibility nothing hurt me more

last year when you and I shot where I got my balls from and we went to Twitter and we got $3,100 after fucking three weeks people like where's the fucking documentary I mean what was wrong with you yeah are you a fucking idiot and then every month I'd have six guys like where's the documentary guy you know we have to edit it put music you know it took a lot of fucking work yeah listen we shot in September we released it when February yeah yeah that's fucking seven months for two guys two guys we hired two other guys to do the sound and some other shit editing great guys by the way yeah and the graphics and the graphics

but I gotta call the graphic guys he's a fucking great guy yeah he adopted the dog over there and stuff and we had it out in seven months nothing what did I say to you bro how many times I said we gotta get done cuz I don't want to let people down mm-hmm that you know it's 31 hours people sent us $5 bills $3 bills 50 Philippe Sparza gave us five it doesn't matter I always want to credibility in your guys eyes that's very important to a guy like me mm-hmm I don't want somebody to be beat around me and nothing that's the you know I thrive on that shit I don't want these people so that's why I have these guys call up

time to time they're crazy you've heard Mike Ronnie and for a lot of this is why I came from this is why I try to tell you people who say fabricated they're saying you know I always hear these things I'm from Jersey but bad boy in Jersey I don't say nothing about Jersey I'm mad motherfucker and blame our bitches and speaking of phone calls who we have calling today daddy be on cool oh because we got the pick of the fucking week what time is anyway yeah we're gonna do some gambling today we're gonna make you some money last week I had a I had a USC given 41 to Colorado they told me about that and I love Texas on

Sunday but I didn't do nothing against Baltimore he should be calling any minute you know Danny owns that company Vegas what I was gonna give us the web page that he's going into into business with the referee when he gets off probation that's what we crazy so if you guys are looking for fucking pics take this guy's information down I know for a fact he's fucking good he was telling me today that he pays attention to these couple guys you know and that big and he sees where the money's at I mean Danny's always been a smart guy and I'm lucky we're gonna have him on all the gambling show he's gonna be our

gambling expert today as far as me who's your team playing today cocksucker who the Patriots were playing in London against St. Louis which in London yeah oh Jesus Christ they can't cover here they ain't gonna cover in London fucking New England we're minus seven right now I see that the Jets are playing Miami are the Jets are playing Miami they give them one at home I don't like the Jets no you got the Giants against the Dallas Cowboys my pick for you if you want to make a little cash today we're gonna vapor oh shit King Louis like a motherfucker it pays to smoke the best my pick today is Philadelphia Eagles

against the Atlanta whatever the fuck you call them Falcons they're giving points they're getting points I think they're two points I don't give a fuck I'm going with the under on this game it's 43 it's 43 and I think it's going down the fight was up at 44 it's going under this game so that's my pick for the week I love the fucking under why because the bookies raped you motherfuckers last week and they're about to rape you in the ass again don't don't believe the height tonight you got a great game you got Denver against New Orleans Saints on the game of the week but the over and under you know it is Lee 55 fucking

points that's my touchdowns is that Lee quick quick quick at seven not say eight times seven is what 56 okay so yeah seven times seven is 49 you gotta get you gotta get seven couple a couple field three fucking field goes you follow me so you need eight touchdowns to get the over on that no I'm looking at it right now and Green Bay is playing Jacksonville and they're giving Green they're giving Jacksonville 16 and a half now Jacksonville sucks they're starting quarterback where they play at Green Bay okay so they're giving 16 points at home it's cold that hurricane Sandy's coming well it's coming to the

other fucking thing it's coming anyway it's even gonna factor you see this week what happened here we got rain a couple days yeah so you know what don't worry about that 16 and a half points if the line goes up if you live in Green Bay that line is 17 or there's no line on that fucking game okay because where you live the points go high so I don't know what do you want to do that one just cuz the their quarterback went out their star running back is out or the quarterback might be in but he's hurt and that's just that's the one like the USC one where you did where I'm I bet Green Bay just cuz Jacksonville's

garbage whatever you think who knows let's let's see what happens tomorrow all I like is the fucking right don't bother with Jacksonville Green Bay what are you torturing me for with this shit Lee Lee motherfucking leaving I had a great weekend leave what did he do I smoked vapors no I went to the lab factory the lab factory gave me a bunch of spots you know what I used to do in fact you want some week in the fucking early 2000s on Mondays you know Jamie's always you always said it was more of a club act and then about three months ago he called me one day if you want to start doing spots they started sending me

emails and I went to Long Beach and I went to Hollywood you know I didn't do too well last week in Minneapolis it bothered me it bothered me because I had been there six weeks before on my writing so it's really funny you know some people get beat up by a manager I get I beat myself up nobody beats me up like me yeah so this week I went back to basics I met with Tony Hincliffe oh yeah and we're gonna start writing together I want to put that special together in September so I'm gonna go to a special training camp a couple headlining dates I'm home for two months you know December January I got a

great book today this week I got Stephen King on writing he recommended it somebody else I recommended I read he has two forwards in here so I read the first forward last night it blew my fucking mind and but the book I really got caught up on was American Desperado I don't know if you guys listen to Mike Robacorda while I lived in Aspen there was a guy that got blown up in a fucking jeep by a pipe bomb his name was Steve Grabo and I talked about it and a bunch of people told me to read this book it's American Desperado guys name is John Roberts his real name is like John Riccobini or something he's from fucking

Teaneck New Jersey home of the fucking Antonore's you know I'm talking about people don't know I know about the Antonore's they think I forgot but I didn't but I read that book I read about three chapters it's got me like it's a heavy-duty book I have to start reading again I haven't read since college just because it put such a bad taste in my mouth like when you have to read listen reading a book and sucking a dick is two different things how you got a bad taste in your mouth that's up to you maybe you should go see the Scientology stuff or your fucking dentist what do you what don't you like about read it's

fundamental I liked it when I was younger but going through school when you're forced to read I don't know it just it killed the fun for me and fucking there's just so many great movies and TV when I have when I have 20 minutes I'd rather watch TV you gotta read the book you gotta read reading is knowledge knowledge is power I love to read because it takes me away a movie's great don't get me wrong I love it one of the best books you'll read the sounds of the fucking lamps you know what that's one of the best books you'll read I mean there's there's two thousand million great books out there I like to

read because I like to see the styles of the different writers and it's just a different patois of entertainment you know we're forgetting about this shit you know I just read that Newsweek is laying off people yeah we're not gonna have magazines or newspapers and yeah we have Kindles and you have audio whatever books and I like all that stuff I like listen to books but fucking there's nothing like reading yeah nothing like really reading something and getting involved in it I don't need the glass of wine and the pipe to make believe like I'm I don't need not that shit well I need the silence a good fucking joint I

smoke it and I need my focus you know I'll put a big book away in three or four days oh yeah that's the best yeah because I like them in chunks I'll read a fucking book I can't wait to read the Stephen King book do you do it on the road a lot you know man when there was more well Wells Fargo's when there was more Barnes and Nobles on the road okay you know I would go to a hotel and I asked whether Barnes and Noble and I don't like I don't give a fuck if the book is expensive you know I understand that that guy put effort into writing that yes some of it goes to the publisher whatever but I know I've been

trying to write a book for fucking eight months I'm off the page eight you know it's fucking tough to write a book so when somebody does something like that I want to support whatever the hell they're doing it's just your support and somebody else yeah and I don't like reading used fucking books it drives me crazy though my wife goes to the library sometimes I haven't picked me up a book in a library downtown or there's a great library down the corner that I walk through sometimes I just go in and write jokes but it's boring you can't eat there you can't do nothing there's homeless people I'm trying to read a

book about philosophy there's a guy smelling like dog shit next to me I can't you know oh I fucking drives me crazy but you know you look at the schedule they have free movies there on Wednesdays yeah like Old Western's the stuff and sometimes you know what you go down there you know I like I like to do different things like that shit that I can do by myself and just go down and analyze the situation but I love going to the library man all that stuff just fucking kills me in books they're great I could have spent the whole day at Barnes and Nobles yesterday really oh fuck yeah I went over to uh I went over to get some

clothes at the Fat Man store in Glendale yesterday and you dick up there this one sucks about being fat it's not your health or your heart or your capillaries or that your toes hurt or that your feet hurt or that when you take a shit you break the toilet it's gonna do it but Fat Man alert Fat Man alert it's got nothing to do with that the hardest thing for being a fucking two X guys to find shirts I went up and they had jackets that cost $50 they wanted $330 for it I don't mind if it's a great jacket but they garbage yeah I couldn't find you know the shirt here you know why I like this shirt I bought

this at a fucking Walmart in Tennessee three years ago and it's still solid as a rock of fucking Gibraltar yeah you know I like all this shit I don't mind paying money for great clothes you know what I ended up buying nothing suspend this fucking suspend this to wear my suit and shit yeah I mean I went to yesterday and this is like the third time so now you know what the Fat Man stores are Lee around here where they ain't none you got that one in Glendale and then I gotta get in the car and go all the way to like Tarzana to a Fat Man store you know what happened I did this commercial for Comcast and I

got this big check like three or four years ago yeah and then went to Weight Watches but I went up there I swear to God Lee I must have dropped three four grand in clothes weight watch and drop 100 pounds out of give away all that fucking clothes I got a warm-up suit and that's beautiful I had to give it away for acts yeah and give away all that shit people don't know how hard it is to get clothes for the fucking Fat Man that kills me that was the thing that that really kicked me into getting to start losing weight a couple night when I went to graduate college is I went to stores and I didn't have my size

anymore like shit so I went and I spent $200 on stuff to where do I go to my graduation and then I lost and then I wore it there and I lost 50 pounds and it doesn't fit anymore but it's nice to have in my closet just cuz like I I hadn't realized it because I was working and I just it didn't it never really clicked Lee you got smoke some dope we need talking about the suit it don't fit no no I was saying the Fat Man store no you're saying about the suit I don't get what I bought what the suit at the Fat Man store right and then you lost the weight and now it doesn't fit where's the suit now in my closet yeah Sherman

Oaks yeah it fits now no it don't fit no no the fuck you bring it for I bought it when I graduated college I was saying that's going to that store was what told me I had to lose weight and I'm still not there yet but I'm just saying that's the stabbing the neck today you're smoking too much of the dog over here talking about the store and losing weight I'm talking about the Fat Man fucking store yeah that's what I'm talking about but you bought the suit here no in Boston when I graduated when the fuck did you bring it out with you if it don't fit Lee that's my question I don't know fuck inspiration because my

mom moved and I got brought everything I owned oh I see what you're saying no so now I got up to Tarzan I gotta go all the way up see when I used to go to Texas you go if you're a fat fuck you go to Texas bang close the set it's everywhere you know Texas is the Houston is number one state for far number one same the country for fat people oh shit what's up Danny B what's going on my friend out there how are you in beautiful California where are you at brother I'm outside building a ramp you know we're waiting for this fucking storm so I'm trying to get the games in and trying to talk to my clients and

build a raft at the same time and I'm burping on my breakfast so it's a good day besides that though Joey how are you you know me up here in California the Sun's out I got the flying Jewel breaking my balls about the Fat Man store I'm fucking believe you are my cousin you and James you Greg James all living out there while I'm here floating away let me tell you I'm gonna see the boys next weekend I'm gonna see the boys next weekend I'm gonna see Greg and hopefully J-mo and Greg's children because I got a show out in Ontario so I'll see those motherfuckers next week they were up here for my birthday Greg

you know how to blast one he's a funny motherfuckers you know what we call him when he we were little to sail up didn't you do that little puppy dance or say a little something yeah the brother was J-mo Bombitas and he was a freak you know what he's kind of dry right now it's kind of boring you know the last few years he's not himself I don't know I liked him when he was younger and sold weed he was funnier remember when I would tell you I call him the coach the coach everything's what a coach he walks around with stirrups all day you were telling me the story about like 20 30 years ago and I spoke to Greg about it

when you were home and you lived at that block on 70s down the block from Fifth Street deli and you woke up like 11 a morning you you were walking down the stairs and you saw Greg at the bottom of your stairs you're like oh Jesus you go Greg what is it gonna take to get rid of you a quarter-gram no Joe you know it's so true Greg was funny back then we were all in that spell but yeah I do remember that those big stairs Jimmy Bender defy him and own that bill yes he did but he wasn't the only one I used to guys throw him pebbles at my window it's three o'clock four o'clock you just hit you know my

mother coming downstairs they're fucking guys are here again what he and then my mother be giving him bags of coke it was fucking hysterical but sad at the same time those were many years ago but dorm avenue to behind the high school right behind the high school that hey let me answer this something so you've been on fire lately we talked last week you had a great week last week what do you got going on for these people today well I'll tell you why you know it's a tough board the weather's definitely gonna factor in but I did okay yesterday I tell you what let's start with yesterday I had I had Ohio State in Georgia then I

lost the Notre Dame over you know and that could have hit if the guy didn't get the pass in the can today I got a small play that I'm you know it's a little late for guys if they get they can get a something something small on the jet today at home you know nothing crazy though not nothing crazy a lot of people are betting Miami I disagree something small on the jet but you know with the weather the way it is I'm back in off today but tomorrow I'll tell you what that San Francisco Arizona game that's the one that I really like so if anybody out there Joe that listens to your show that likes to play the games I

love tomorrow you call me the Monday night gorilla I'm not gonna bed on Monday night call me what you want but make sure they call a they can visit us as you know at Danny be wins dot com call yet tomorrow night's game I love it I love the side I love the total today I'm just the weather it definitely scares me the winds are kicking in already at the lines are you know and so I'm gonna go small on the jet cobalt how about yourself I like the under on the Philadelphia Atlanta game it's a 43 or 40 something I like the under on it yeah let me let me check that in Philadelphia I know that the weather is

gonna be a factor there also yeah that's like I said I'm building a fucking raft I'm about 45 minutes away from the stadium I the total dropped from 47 all the way down to 43 I'm looking at a screen here cuz I can see shit you guys can't see yeah it's a it's a tough day on the East Coast you know you kind of want to focus on the on the maybe the West Coast the giant ballast game I don't know about that so I'm back and off of that and you know maybe you've moved from maybe the the charger game tonight I'm sorry not the charger game the Denver game tonight well the Denver game I was telling Lee that's gonna be

on that's a that's 50 Lee you remember Lee Danny you remember we were kids fucking who played on a Monday night the charges and somebody else the score was like 54 to like 48 on a Monday night game I know was the charges and like Oakland two offensive fucking machines but 55 points we watched that at fucking corky we watched that at corkies on a Monday night or Sunday before hashways burnt down before Gary the brother burnt it down with the crack pipe yeah he was in the basement he was smoking crack and he got paranoid and when he went to listen for the noise the pipe fell down the blowtorch fell down

and it caught the fucking basement on fire that's the word on this you know it listen listen I was never onto the pipe that was not my gig but I used to call me bazookas remember how you used to take the free base and get cooking and put it in the weed and burn it down in the oils oh I got sidetracked for a couple of years on that you know I got sidetracked for six months on it that was such a fucking that was an intense high and it was the worst point of my life but Jesus those were the days though we're talking 84 85 I remember that one time though it's I ran out of rolling papers and I was getting the bazooka paste

and putting it in a bond over the weed and my wife had given me not this wife when I was a kid that wife gave me a bong for Christmas the next morning the bong was fucking melted it had crumbled like on the World Trade Center towers it just went out from the bottom and it just got it was like a foot of two foot bong and it went down to like eight inches it just crumbled like one of the fucking Arabs knocked it over with a fucking plane that's how many bazookas I was smoking Danny we were fucked up on those I'm fucking I'm shitting in my pants thinking about it maybe you used to when you used to anticipate the bag of

coke or whatever coming just thought shit oh my god depending the high when I quit doing coke I didn't shift for three weeks dog I had a fucking snort fucking tow jam to get this that's amazing something somebody was just telling me last night listen you weren't as bad as some of the characters though you remember fucking what is my Ronnie Montnelly you be coming across the bridge you just been carrying a fucking TV on his way to the Bronx I was fucking 2 3 o'clock in the morning you know and that was chicarelli's they were a mess too I mean a lot of people you weren't that bad I mean yeah you picked out a window or two

but who hasn't yeah dinosaurs yeah you know Gary I messed up anyway he's about ready to come out of jail after like 20 something years you know like I said they're messing with him now whoa they broke out of the prison but 1989 I'm playing cards with I don't know Xeminaq I think Joey Filato Gary goes off on a little mission to drop off an 8-ball cocoa and then we'll realize in two hours go by with Gary you know I start taking the shit out of him and then finally he calls me back I'm like yeah where the fuck are you he's on 78 he's like there's a dinosaur chasing me I just like what he says there's a

dinosaur chasing me I'm like yeah I'm like man guys there's a dinosaur chasing Gary somebody get give me a ride to where I am so he's on 78th and Bergline Avenue so I'm looking for him and all I see cockled is a foamboat the old style foamboats that with the boots all I see is a little head peeking up and down up and down you just here look like a little jack-in-a-box and I just tap on the window real quick and scare the shit out of him he jumps up and I go what the fuck's wrong with you he goes I've lived this dinosaur he points across the street and that the Kodak the film place they were they were promoting the

Jurassic Park thing they had the big blow up dinosaur the thing was just going back and forth and that's how fucked up he was do you remember I would I want to ask you to let these people know about a story because I was talking about paranoia I used to get paranoid Mike Ronnie called and he said that one day he gave me a hit off the freebase and I got really paranoid do you remember when Kurt DiLorenzo lived on the 34th floor of the grinder the building and he would put little pirate shoes on his cocaine the grease the grease the grease would grease his poles you know because I got an apartment right there and we walk in

so every time I pass that place you also know that across the street Hudson County Park is where the most UFO sightings were ever reported it's because everybody was fucking paranoid in that building that human grinder yeah he used to put fucking Crisco oil on the 30th and I asked him I almost broke my neck I'm like whoa and he and I go crap what the fuck just in case they start climbing down at night time I like 34th floor he would put Crisco oil on the bar and on the fucking balcony ladies and gentlemen yeah he used to draw he used to put parachutes on the coke he used to tie a string around his wrist

connected to the door handle so the string would be 40 feet so if you turn the doorknob you would hear he would get the pressure on the string that's the paranoia cocaine ladies and gentlemen coke how about when he fucking almost took somebody's eye out with a nice pic that was looking through the fucking people that's right that's right remember that remember that remember that we called them dirty-kirty dirty-kirty he was so metro even back in the day metro curve but he's the same guy to go in his fucking laundry basket and pull out a shirt he wore three weeks earlier and

it still looked good on him that was the ironic thing but talk about a fucked up dude I got high when I loved her I loved his family but he had the brother Chris that I seen about seven years ago I stayed at his house and with Chris whenever you stayed at his house on a Friday and Saturday you had to lock the doors because he would wake you up and don't know he'd be so fucked up he'd wake you up to talk to you and he talked to you about the presidents and about the Kennedy assassination and one night he woke his father up that's how fucking coped up he was he woke his parents up sat in the room and started talking about

the Kennedy assassination and the father's like get the fuck out of the room with that white light then you come you're right he used to get kind of when he got fucked up he became smart yes he was anyway he'd start dropping knowledge on you like and it'd be like three o'clock in the morning and they get you know even curtain ever that look they used to give you like staring at the space that I'll tell you a fucked up time I'm at Kurt's place on Park Avenue Dara rego is still alive in the late 80s Kurt that a nice little corner unit very nice place I know exactly what was that but the day the bat was in it at fucking

like five o'clock in the morning the bed that we realized there's a bat in the house and she was sleeping on a cat Gina G. Akona sleeping on a couch and I just see Kurt pointing and I'm like looking at him because he got weird you know how he did that little point coat right yeah and I'm like and there was a fucking bat in that house so for about three hours we didn't know what to do with his back so it was I remember it came after so it looked like lamp off from the monsters just changing but some fucked up shit happens when you're on coke that's why I don't do that no more no thank god no no no no no anyway the last time I seen his brother

though I stayed at the house older one Chris this is a true story and I hear somebody banging on my door like five and it's the mother the sweetest lady in the world she goes Coco you gotta help me Chris is outside naked with a flashlight he's looking for a leprechaun so I run outside I gotta I grabbed this motherfucker I gotta carry him in he's like stop it stop it I saw the leprechaun I saw the leprechaun so I sit him down right and he's fucked up he's fucked up he looks at me he's like you know you suck dick I almost had the leprechaun and he was completely naked they believed it too they believed it and honestly you gotta know the family to fucking understand what

Joe's saying it's fucking so did the weirdos funny and bad that was a name bad she was a drunk she no wonder she drank to deal with that crazy shit that the both brother and amel too amiel died amiel died who I loved the heroin guy he was he was Babs died you know Babs died she died last year Kurt's mom died yeah so it's just curtain flower he's fucking crazy the father's crazy and I don't talk to Chris no more I love him dearly but I had to stop talking to him but he was put in fucking glasses that said in there she was she was the glue of the family man I still think about it every day yeah Mr. De La Renzo I was just thinking about her yeah I was just thinking I was because I drove by that area not too long I thought this is what Kurt's

mother and father kind of will left after North Bergen but yeah that's sad to say I gotta give Kurt a call no I haven't seen Kurt since oh five listen I was down in Miami Beach in Sunny Isles had a beautiful place overlooking the fucking uh the water intracostal etc he used to come there every day Coco with a briefcase I've computed that never fucking worked and I like a six pack he pulls my baby's like five months old then I'm on fucking probation too you know for the fucking gamble intense so the the thing is he'd come I get the guy at the door saying hey you friend Kurt here should I let him in I asked I was to grease the door guys like 50 bucks a day just to let Kurt in and out because it was embarrassing but he'd come up there with he had

no nails on his hands his toenails were off and but anyway he was his toenails were off so what's the lock on the day give it to me so these motherfuckers can make some money and what's the webpage they gotta go to brother but you know there's a couple of them I promote a lot of different shit I got this NBA referee Tim Donaghy that's gonna be interesting real quick you can catch me out right now at Danny B wins.com Danny B as in boy wins.com but Tim Donaghy to form a ref you know his story Coco we're gonna go to his first NBA game since the scandal the betting scandal you know mob involved fixing games etc November 9th at the garden Dallas please the next two bad guys out of my is hurt the wins keys hurt so besides

bad it should be interesting to watch the camera you know follow this guy into his first game since the scandal it's like the Pete Roosevelt you know a basketball now but uh Danny B wins.com but tomorrow night man honestly you guys gotta listen in all you have to do is say a purge on the Joey Coco Diaz podcast my boy I'll hook you up man San Francisco Arizona side in total I really like it today light play I went light on the jets I wouldn't go crazy I don't like the action much today Coco I don't like it either too much that's why I just keep it the over on Philadelphia and Atlanta nice and light just some entertainment in the afternoon I smoke a few numbers I go to a YMCA and I'm back to normal you follow me do you do the karate still you'd still do that little

thing with the karate I love that no I don't do Joey karate no more but I'm Danny B wins I will start doing MMA picks on Wednesdays before big fights so let your people know that I got some nice inside info I know a lot of couple managers I know some of the training camps so I get some good stuff sometimes I don't bet on the main cause I got it I got it I went I did some networking for us uh I don't know both Thursday night in the Hudson Ron Tudor the fucking gazillionaire met some interesting people you got when you come into town we gotta talk but yeah I had a great week man again yesterday did okay today not crazy a little something something on the jets tomorrow and I love it marry it etc but yo man you gotta come see the family I gotta see your family we

gotta get together soon kid I love you brother thanks for calling the show and I'll call your show Wednesday brother you'll do that man last time you had an interview you kept me hanging I kept I kept talking you up I know Wednesday had no addition sometimes on Wednesdays I'm fucked up especially at 10 30 so we'll talk uh Tuesday night after seven I'm doing my schedule for Wednesday I love you cocksucker thank you my friend I love you all my heart you too thank you for the lock brother goodbye so so go to Danny B wins dot com get your pick he's a good guy you know we're starting to get some action now we're gonna have a I'm talking to Omnit Labs on it on it and uh I tell you what man that fucking protein powder is delicious oh you like it yeah the camp uh the kush uh the camp

hemp hemp kush what the fuck the hemp protein powder the chocolate is delicious it is some of the best chocolate but I got two other proteins in there in vanilla but I really like the chocolate but we'll get in depth and we'll talk about that this week what else is going on Lely Lely I got a movie for these motherfuckers okay I got a friend his name is Rick Ramis he's a comic he was by he's the payaso slam with me he talks about this movie like a religion it's uh it's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen it's one of the most character driven movies I've ever seen it's a movie by the name of midnight run uh 1987 uh for some reason in those couple years some good genre movies came out this morning I woke up at six and guess what I

was watching laughing my ass off the movie with uh Nathan Lane and the bird cage it's a you never seen the bird cage no no this is what I'm talking this is the youth of America and then when I sit then tell you how good fucking avatar is and uh and the fucking honeymoon movie what is it with Zach Galifianakis they tell you those movies won't even be around the fucking three years you know I went to see seven psychopaths last week let me tell you some guys it was an okay movie ask me a scene from that movie right now and I could not tell you you know I sit here every fucking week I go on the rogan podcast and I put down the movies from today and I get this hate mail and I'll tell you why because 10 years from now you'll never be talking about them they have not

a sense of substance in them I went to see Argo that was tremendous yeah fucking what's his name is becoming a hell of a director you know the town and that uh I went to see seven seven I hate comedies anymore because they're so fucking overrated listen when you see a comedy gets five stars that means you got four fucking labs coming the rest of the movie you're just gonna fucking look at and I ain't lying to you people and your people sitting at home going Joey you're a fucking hater whatever I'm not a hater because I'm gonna follow up with movies like I always tell you I tell you train planes and all the bills comedy movies we're talking about ghostbusters fucking midnight run with Robert De Niro it just never ends it just Dennis Farina this movie never ends a bunch of

character guys I love the movie the fact that the guy that plays the cop in Pope Greenwich Village plays the guy in the bookie office the guy from Hoboken, New Jersey is a soprano Joe Pat Lianos in this movie I mean it's a great movie but uh one of my comedy one of my idols believe it or not if I was gonna be a if you came to me today and said what mobster would you want to fucking play would you want to play Michael Corleone or one of the guys good fellas I liked all those movies but my favorite mobster of all time is definitely Dennis Farina in midnight run but he's also a great mobster in snatch he's been he's been a mobster Romeo's bleeding he's been a mobster in great fucking movies don't get me wrong but I think in this one is his best one

the funny thing is this is uh 87 this is after Crime Story which is another TV show you even know about Crime Story no Dice was on there he was fucking tremendous uh the guy from Major Crimes is on there at the times play this segment it's it's called the best of Jimmy Sorano they made a fucking thing about the best lines from this movie midnight run 1987 deniro and before before quickly before I play you told me he was a Chicago cop he was a Chicago cop for this movie and he did man he was friends with uh Michael Mann uh-huh so Michael man made him the copping manhunter he also put him in the thief all his early movies in Chicago play it all right is this moron number one put moron number two on the phone yeah Jimmy he's uh right here hold on he's pissed

yeah I thought you told me this guy was gonna be on the plane that's the information we got Jimmy that's the information we got I'm gonna tell you something I want this guy taken out and I want him taken off fast you and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work or I'm gonna stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil you understand me you got it Jimmy what are you hanging around for take a walk I heard somebody picked up my dick is in New York it's old news Sydney I'm already on it I don't have to tell you what'll happen if he becomes a government witness I can assure you that will not be the case yeah I showed you we're taking that position but I'm supposed to advise you against such acts Sydney relax have a cream soda

everything is going to be all over within a few minutes sorry Jimmy didn't happen it didn't happen say that again Tony it just didn't happen I mean it was cops all over the place there's a million fucking fets all over Jimmy it was it was a mess it was a real mess you better get off the line just Sydney if I've got a tap on that line there Sydney shut your fucking mouth now listen to me dummy do they have Mardukas in custody or not I don't know Jimmy I don't know I mean the cops are small let me tell you too stupid mother fuckers something I don't want to get another phone call like this because if I do I'm gonna get on a fucking plane and I'm gonna blow torch to both of you do you understand blow torch to the both of you should have killed Walsh in Chicago

a long time ago don't say a word to me Sydney don't say a fucking word to me I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head these are all his lies I don't understand the problem with you two the guys are fucking accounting Jimmy's the bad luck right down the line plus this guy Walsh is pretty good if he's that good Tony maybe I should hire him to hit you I hope there's no chance of any of this coming back to Jimmy no chance he rented the chopper out of Kansas City it's five times you're moving it so you're clearing this don't worry clear it shit give me more on the guy he's still out there ain't he let me tell you two guys something I'm not interested in seeing either one of you two alive again until you get the

accountant you got the message all right this is it tonight is the fucking night you understand I'm sick all of these screw-ups as soon as I get the discs from Walsh you guys drop Walsh and you drop the Duke you understand I get the discs you drop them okay I don't think you should do this oh really what do you propose that I do I send somebody with a cash offer but don't do this I know Walsh she won't take any money from me he's a very self-righteous type of guy it aggravates me in his mind this is clean he gets what he wants I get what I want the guy's a fucking burnout Cindy hey Jimmy sit down relax have a sandwich drink a glass of milk this is all like six scenes he always tortures Cindy

so I'm finally in the presence of greatness huh the Duke the guy that steals money from the scum of the earth and gives it to the I forgot who the Duke is played by but listen I wanted to meet you face to face did you actually think that you were gonna steal my money and get away with it I stopped by here to tell you two things number one is that you're gonna die tonight number two I'm gonna go home have a nice hot meal I'm gonna find your wife and I'm gonna kill her too tremendous you know I was I was thinking maybe don't waste your fucking times with these new fucking movies the movies that I'm giving you guys are fucking classics I might not be a genius

and my fucking podcast ain't about movies and I'm jumping up and down here but when I give you motherfuckers a movie you're gonna hit me back and go Joey goddamn I'm not gonna give you motherfuckers much I'm about two weeks on November 18th one of those I'm gonna cover the godfather and the whole fucking podcast with Lee oh yes I'm sure we'll do the baptism we'll do two I'm not sure about three yet but I give you good movies folks this midnight run this was a tremendous movie see who played the the guy I mean this is a they were gonna read listen to about this movie they were gonna make this movie with uh because at that time what's the fucking guy morc Robin Williams they were one of Robin Williams for this movie for what for this movie they did not

want denaro and they did not what it was supposed to be uh denaro and robin williams that's weird denaro picked this guy with the fucking wig this guy that was the advocate in the lj simpson trial he does all those movies with the dog uh-huh I forget what his name is he's if you get a chance watch midnight run 1987 one of denaro's best because he had to be a he had to be comic you know if you know anything about denaro denaro don't fucking say much I mean he's a great actor but we'll make some great actors that he's got the personality of a fucking dog I mean and I'm just quoting here you know when they had uh uh rickles on larry king live he said denaro talking to denaro's like one hand clapping so whenever you see denaro do what's the guy's name you know I'm

whenever you see denaro doing something in the movie think of a guy that doesn't say nothing it's like chris rock chris rocker you're sitting around chris rock you don't say fucking two words then you see him on stage he's a fucking savage you know something it's like kinetic energy it's just a potential energy it's just fucking sitting there but uh do you know if like if the duke had a different name in the movie because it's not coming up on IMDB no don't worry it's all right don't figure it out but it's gonna take you 19 fucking years I haven't seen the movie in it yeah this is what I'm talking about lee this is what I'm talking about half of you guys like lee I need for you to see these movies you're gonna really enjoy him you know I try to give you guys

heat I try to give you guys books I'm gonna try this on writing this is a recommendation from tony hinkliffe like I said tony hinkliffe's a young kid that's a comic he hangs around with uh brian up at the uh ice house and I got much respect from he's written on the roasts and he's also was a writer on the burn he's good friends with beguire and jeff ross and I like him and like I said if you're looking for a good book to read this fucking american desperate if you want to read about people getting you know falling in love or whatever get 50 shades of gray and go fuck your wife up the ass but if you want to take your mind away and have a little fun or whatever this is the way to go I want to give you know uh I love twitter you know I was dead as a comic and

you guys on twitter have put a fucking spark under my ass I love you guys it's like a twitter family we got and I want to give some shout out to my man pittsburgh jay over there fuck pittsburgh jay bashero and pittsburgh I love this motherfucker I want to give a shout out to the haven clark I want to give a shout out to my little mexican louis martinez and my man whisky bendelway carla from space I love you to death and I want to give cuban and with that hot little pussy a shout out you know dog did you tell that chick to send you a picture of pussy and what the fuck you for example go to cuban and I'm twitter right now I've told you this a thousand times you're my fan of cuban and I'll tell you why I'm a fan of cuban and because she's what a woman should do

every woman in this country Charles groden thank you every woman in this fucking country she has a twitter since the 7th but that don't mean nothing maybe she's in jail look at her she's a picture right on her fucking thing cuban and of her little fucking pussy okay look at it did you see it yeah right there and one day we were just talking she's cuban and she's look what it says in the bottom haha no I'll show you mine not as sexy but it's real but I think on you that means it's for you cocksucker in spanish look at that little monkey right there she's a lesbian she's a lesbian she doesn't even like dick but I asked her she's solid as the rocket Gibraltar and she's got to do what you got to do because that's what you do you show the fucking

guy your monkey when he asks you you want to hold on to it like it's a national treasure so ask her because it cuts right through the bullshit don't be ashamed you're just doing your job as a man you're talking to a woman online what is there a fucking computer you gotta after a while you talk to me I talk to you look at you would you take a picture you little helmet and send it to her sure why not would you brush it nice and polish that little helmet send a little picture you you got no stop giggling your fuck I'm trying to fucking take into my wings you can sling some dick let's do it yeah and I don't want you slinging big dick you're not going to become a manhole because look at I ain't no fucking I listen man like I said I hate it sex for me it's a joke

it's a fucking joke that's why I talk about on stage it's not that I'm so shallow with all joey fuck that shit I hate it I fucking hate it if I had to do it I don't even know how my wife ended up pregnant because if I fuck three four times a year but what happened was after the fucking knee surgery I was lifting up my legs went testosterone I got warmed up she's my wife I might as well fuck that's what my wife is for you know in my mind you fuck when you're gonna have a kid that's it like we were talking about it yesterday like just me how I am and she goes who do you find the track that we're talking about my friend the Asian girl that we hang out with she's beautiful I love it at that but I don't look at it like that because she's got four kids every time I look at the kids

I'm like oh you know I'm saying I look at a woman like that Felicia's beautiful I don't even look at her like that because of the kids what's a woman had kids for me it's kind of weird I don't get me wrong I'll let one suck my dick that's the best blow job a single mom shit a single mom will take your dick to the hoop jack she's been sitting at home all week selling down the kids lying to the kid about his father he's a hero he's how banging bitches a single mom will take that helmet you know I was looking at Tom like this one time when he's on there y'all that people single mom stay away from a single mom will work you jack fucking and single mom's a great bra I was raised by a single mom in a way I love it my mom had one boyfriend the whole time she was alive around me

you know she had my my stepfather husband but it's weird you know I couldn't imagine I could never disrespect like a fucking like if I'm 12 and some guy hit on my mom I'd knock him the fuck out I go for that motherfucker I don't want that shit around me you know so I understand so that's why I respect moms when I see him Felicia all these ladies like you gotta you can't fuck everybody but there's women that are out there that they want to be victims and that's what you gotta do you gotta say don't listen let me take you home put a firecracker in your asshole and they'll just look at you like really you got firecrackers fuck they got firecrackers I tell Ralphie made that story but that girl that wanted to borrow money from me yeah and I told the man listen I'll

lend you the money but you gotta lick my nuts she's like oh I can't do that you'll listen 15 dollars a lot of money how are you gonna pay me back I don't know she goes well shoot this movie and I'll pay you back forget about it give me a piece of ass and she's like all right I'll call you back in a little while so I run downstairs and I get in the car Ralphie and we're talking about some of the phone reasons the girl she's like okay I'm ready she goes do you have the money I go yeah meet me at the Four Seasons and I had ten dollars the fucking back and I'm like listen don't forget when I go down I'm gonna like your asshole I'm fire see you can hear it going I'm gonna have to call you back she called me back like ten minutes later forget it I borrowed

the money from my uncle you're fucking lucky you dirty animal light that asshole on fire now you gotta have a good time I just want you to be happy at the end of the week we goof around here I don't want you people to think I'm a fucking dirty freak I'm just trying to help the kid out you know he's a nice kid he's a sweet kid to me he's a good catch this guy he's loyal he works hard I mean fucking Lee just worked 20 hours in two days on Friday and Saturday before fucking Halloween how many of you motherfuckers worked Friday and Saturday 20 hours before Halloween I got a lot of respect for Lee I break his balls but he knows I care about him we've done great things in a year now I want him for Christmas I'm gonna go I'm gonna tie him up

and get three chicks to fart in his fucking eyeballs you understand because he's never had nobody fart in his fucking eyeballs you know that's it Lee's just a listen man I love having fun with all you guys when I look at Lee I think all you guys are listening to the podcast and hopefully you're getting something out of this I really care about you guys Uncle Joey loves you motherfuckers to death you give me a lot of hope in my day and that's all I do by trying to do his podcast we got a great fucking podcast coming up tomorrow another one on Wednesday we're taking next Sunday off let me see if we covered everything we talked to Danny Bionculo we played shine on you crazy diamond which a lot of Pink Floyd songs are written about

Sid Barrett a lot of people don't fucking know that Sid Barrett was one of the founding members of that type of music and he took too much acid he went off the fucking deep end he followed me so Dave Gilmore replaced him and all those little songs that they've done are too high to think of all them right now are all pretty much dedications to him what are we gonna close with bro uh I got a surprise for you okay but uh I'm not closing yet but that's why I play a lot of Pink Floyd no songs shine on you crazy diamond it's a tribute to you motherfuckers on a Sunday I love you guys they love you give me a line on facebook and twitter oh testicle testing it's still up there number three fuck that shit we're knocking that motherfucker down to number one because that's

how you motherfuckers do it also this week I'm in Ontario at the improv Thursday Friday Saturday in Ontario California get tickets because those tickets are gonna go and Sunday next Wednesday November 8th next Thursday those tickets there's probably 40 tickets left for myself and Ari Shafia at the Chicago House of Blue Chicago you know I love you stop fucking around let's get this party started I want reefer down there I want bazookas I want chicks with fucking crabs down there if you got crabs in your girl don't go to the pharmacist come on down and spread them that night I don't give a fuck you don't know what life is till you get a crab in your eyebrow and shit you're at the pharmacist the motherfucking jumping around uh what else do I got I'm at Arizona Scottsdale

on the 16th and 17 Lee where you at this week cocksucker I'm at home and then who knows maybe I might show up one night at the at the Ontario beautiful Thursday is all saints day and all souls day right correct Monday and something like that light a candle for your grandfather anybody who you miss and that's basically it guys I'm gonna be home December and January all home so we'll be doing some solid podcasts at least taking a week off a week off right Christmas between Christmas new years but we'll probably we'll record a couple before I go and then I'm gonna shoot a special in LA somewhere I'm hoping on January 25th somewhere that's not like a theater or something I'm thinking about my uncle's bar if I'm only having about 100 150 people there

I don't know if I'm gonna have a charged up or whatever but we'll talk about that but I'm gonna be in training so if anybody wants to get together and write Mitch Nutter I love the new podcast hiding from my wife I want to give him a shout out you know we get a lot of support on this podcast you know Lee we're very lucky we got a lot of friends and a lot of people listen to so we want to thank you when you have a great week and have a great Sunday don't forget Lee Danny gave out the Jets minus one I'm giving you the under on the Atlanta Philadelphia Eagle anything else we need to cover here we gave you Jimmy Serrano we'll have music we'll have more movies we'll talk about fucking life all this week like I said credibility is the biggest thing in your fucking life and

sometimes I know you guys get upset with me like ah Joey just get a fuck you motherfuckers I'm trying to give you a piece of my heart where I came from I don't want you to think this is a made-up character a mad flavor is a family your imagination and I don't ever want you to think the flying Jew is a family your imagination he's a bad motherfucker give him all the love and respect the Hanukkah line will be coming out soon the Hanukkah line will be coming out soon the first one the first Yarmulke we're gonna have is white it's gonna say fuck you pay me for all you dead hard fucking Jews out there that I love representing the flying Jew we're gonna make a special flying Jew Yarmulke for this fucking sick fuck we're gonna put a one stay black everybody's gonna be wearing

a Yarmulke in 2013 and we're doing that I respect I love you guys hit me with some music league cock sucker all right better be something funky I'm gonna stab you in the neck what is this it's supposed to be are you ready for some football am I ready for football do you think that's what I want to hear me put some biggie on hypnotize what do you want to hear biggie hypnotize something funky you don't ever close it that football shit here it's a betting one you're betting on some guy singing are you ready for some football yeah why not I can't leave these guys like this you kill me we swap my no more surprises you're slipping the last two weeks in the closet so what are you

got right ready last time let's go here you go here bye guys oh oh what what what what what do it Lee shake it Lee here's to my home again in Brooklyn what what have a great day with your family guys go out there sling dick don't let him lie to you you know who the baddest motherfucker is out there do it the flying Jew baby what what uh uh short like saucy hand hunts what oh shit at last a nigga rapping about blunts and bras tits and bras menage and twas sex and expensive cars what guess that's why they're broken you're so