Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 10/29/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #23

Episode Date: October 31, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about Michael Vick, getting more from your life, and the movie Angel Heart. Joey's friend Jim calls in. He was Joey's boss at Boulder Toyota and taught him about writing down goals every day. Streamed live on 10/19/2012

Yeah This album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'm out tonight So all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustling from that call the police on when I was just trying to make some money To feed my daughter and all the niggas in the struggle What's going on oh shit oh shit What's going on there Lee Syat the flying Jew it's Monday morning cocksucker. Good morning. What's happening the church of what's happening now? Joey Coco Diaz my main man Lee Syat the flying Jew put that music on let's do this in shit every morning

Let's do this Cuz I run tight trying to get pain blow up like the world's train what what what Monday morning motherfuckers you could do it again. This is your second chance if you got a dream You want to folks stab somebody in the neck? It's your fucking day. You know I'm saying it's Monday. This is why I love Mondays and as usual I don't work Sundays. I do comedy cuz I hate flying on Mondays That's a big thing and if you're flying today you haven't been listening to me. So go fuck yourself Deserve to suit your airport to your ass grows roots

You understand you're gonna be sitting there like a fucking Momo for two days because they're not gonna fly They're gonna do dick, you know, you can't fly into the East Coast all those planes are all fucking confused right now Have you got a connecting flight? Look at the head. Do Lee look him tied in a motherfucker today He's all excited then the England Patriots covered the spread yesterday in England to boot, right? Yeah, I finally killed him like it's fucking England They had it all the way to England to cover the spread in front of the fucking Queen and Rod Stewart playing soccer with a stinky fucking toes Jesus, but yesterday was a weird day. So that was it was I lost the under on the Philly game But fucking Atlanta covers so that's all that matter

You know people were saying can Atlanta go 7-0 and they covered the spread Atlanta's for real as a couple teams I put limitation when Danny told me the jets my heart almost jumped out of my shirt. I've never liked the fucking jets I don't even talk about the jets. I can't stand watching them. I can't believe they're in New York Joe name it is dead and I don't feel so good myself Once that motherfucker died it was all over that Kevin O'Brien for a while I liked all that stuff, but I can't watch him and now with this Mark Hernandez, whatever his fucking name is I can't watch the fucking guy. I can't watch him. He makes me sick to my stomach T-boy at least put T-boy when he's Christian. He's back there throwing fucking bombs and shit jumping up and down

They're gonna have to but this is Rex Mayans last year. He can't he can't lose to fucking he sucks Fucking the coach from Philly's gotta go. He sucks. Yeah, I mean I've watched Philly for two minutes Yes, they look like a high school team, you know people always say to me Joe You're an animal lover. What do you think about Michael Vick? I got two things to say number one Listen Michael Vick did what he did whatever I listen when he when it came on the papers if I would have seen Michael Vick I would have stabbed him in the heart myself. I got one problem with this I got a second chance when I got out of prison Regardless and now whether put a guy in a trunk, you know, what's the difference to putting somebody in a trunk or kill him

The fucking dog you still disrespected something other than yourself. Yeah, I believe in second chances I think people who get second chances, you know, so for me to sit here and bad my Michael Vick It's not like I'm gonna go hang out with him and eat hot dogs Watch a game with him, you know, I just got to watch a game or exist or coexist with this man So it really doesn't matter to me, but I would be a really fucking big hypocrite. I love animals and I would hate I hate when people hurt animals. Yeah, but At the same time, I would hate to not give this guy a second chance because the second chance was given to me So how hypocritical could I be? I don't want to I don't want to stand next to the motherfucker

I'm sure a building is gonna fall on him I'm sure he's gonna walk in front of hearts one day that the animal building by mistaken the building's gonna crumble on I mean, it's so weird. I love animals last night My wife's been sleeping on the couch because she's pregnant and she can't get comfortable So at first she starts on the bed and then she comes to the couch when she goes out to the couch She ruffles all the feathers in the house the cats start moving. They don't know what's going on So last night as I was going in I went to bed late last night with a bed like a one I was on Twitter fucking around letting people know, you know

I was wishing some people happy birthday on Facebook and it was funny because one of the cats came in with me Super bad. Yeah, and so weird how Super bad for the last four or two three three years. He's put me to sleep He comes in with me gets under the fucking blanket lead Let's me rub them and as I'm falling asleep. I could feel him like he waits and then he believes Really? Yeah, and then he leaves none about five he comes back, you know, but a lot of people understand was this I'm coming up on five years so bright the next week of not doing blow which is the lifesaver for me It's why we do this fucking podcast. I'm believable. It's unbelievable at the time. What is that fucking buzz?

What buzz? Oh, I think my computer's running hot. Oh, no, I thought it was somebody mowing the lawn But I'm like it's six in the morning. Mexicans are home minding their fucking business eating Kuchifrito chips So it's funny that a lot of people don't know the story when I brought those cats up That there's four cats in that litter and then somebody was supposed to take the two girls Lulu and Evie and I was supposed to take the two boys I wasn't like I hated super bad because there was another cat back there that looked like Demi Harry's brother and he was small. I still have a picture on the phone. The motherfucker was the best cat You ever all I had to do is get outside and yell DJ and he would come run

He was a little kitten. Yeah, he would come run and I play with him But super bad used to make him go up into the trees and do all this shit. So I was gonna adopt DJ I was just waiting for him to grow for them to get really big for the last minute before I brought him upstairs I already had him. He loved me and my wife DJ and super bag got sick on the same day and we brought him upstairs and That's the story. I always tell DJ died and I had super bad and one of the reasons why I stopped doing blow was because after DJ died I just got on my hands and knees and I said I'll never I don't want this cat to die Super bad was just a sick and it's funny before

That's night super bad never even associated with me and my wife He didn't like us and we didn't like him In fact, he's black and white and the rest of the latest sigmes because a lot of people don't know this a female cat You get pregnant by two cats at the same time really you carry like two fucking litters from cats and they mix and match It's fucking weird. It's weird, but yeah, I know I'm no fucking Anthropologists don't ever hate to be you know, but I didn't like him and now he's my cat without him I can't even sleep when I'm we go to a hotel. It's funny how When I go to a hotel and I got to bring a fan with me and I got to like me believe I'm holding it

And I even have to say so bad. Oh really and that's how I fall asleep Psychologically because he gets so close to me at night, you know, yes, that took a nap in the afternoon This motherfucker was playing on the Betty attacks your hands. He's hysterical. You want to kill him, but he's your cat So, you know what man? I know that a lot of people Live and they're not happy or whatever if you're not happy get a fucking animal whether it's a dog or a cat knock yourself out What the fuck we talking about this Lee anyway? With three days from Halloween with two days from the Sun's anarchy the fucking Gemma crashed a truck with the two kids in The truck at the end of the episode so we're on the episode 7 so it's getting big

Yeah, there's some guy fucked me up on Twitter. Fuck you Joey. You should yell spoiler really listen It was Saturday if you still didn't see the episode from Sunday Saturday on Tuesday, go fuck yourself. You fucked up. That's all I got to tell you. What else is going on Lee What's happening, baby? You're happy today. You got a girlfriend now. I'm cool. You got a couple bitches all into national light He's a fucking you know a lot of people been hitting me up a bunch of and asking me You know, what the fuck is wrong with Lee doesn't seem happy. Go Lee is a happy go lucky guy No, I'm happy when when I come over in the morning. I'm This is the happiest I am but I'm after the 10-hour

Concerned about that like you think you're missing a life. Oh, and you ain't missing nothing brother You know what fucking missing what I want to be around. What's the story? You're slipping It is Monday. I play for the spirits my mother's fucking spell. Let's play this motherfucker here Lee No, Lee, they're not saying that you're not happy to saying that you want more in life and war very proud of you Here we go Here you go. I missed it. He told me to start with digging and then I get in trouble. No I'm just saying here you go beauty Every Monday motherfuckers out of respect

Little Tony Bennett you smoke a number your vapor penny and let your ass hold on fire and you make the best of what you got It's Monday This Louis fucking pen is tremendous and there are a lot of cartridges over at Noho CCI. I'm smoking vapors here for real I think everyone feels like that much than something at some point I mean, did you ever feel like that as a kid even though we were having fun? I didn't know it was you know, we used to call Hudson County the desert It was so much but nothing went on there. What was the musically? Oh, okay There you go, brother. We got a drop on this Tony Bennett on Monday morning

Love's company what he just put out a new I don't know if it was duets or just new songs But he there's a new album of his on iTunes. He's like a thousand years old Oh shit Fuck Tony better anyway You know, it's funny I talked to George the other day by the way George's grandmother is finally down from the cookie It was like ten days. Those no-ho CC cookies dog. That's why I don't fuck with them no more I haven't been to no-ho CC in about two weeks The whole my whole school staff quit

You know Viviana quit. Yeah, they all took different jobs because he cut the hours So they don't close they don't open till midnight no more So I'm very relevant over there and you know now I'm hitting these vapors a lot more So they don't have the vapor but I feel bad my girl Viviana Woodward left there She went to work at a dry cleaners with a fine-ass and yeah, how can you go from a dispenser to a dry cleaner? She got sick of it after two years, you know, they want she wants to go back to school You know people change, you know, it's funny because today I'm gonna have a guy call in that has nothing to do with what you guys usually associate with me with in

1989 when I got out of the joint again all the parts of my life I was trying to better my life and be a better individual even though I was fucking robbing you with a shotgun I was always trying to be a better individual And I got a job at Boulder Toyota, which is like this white fucking boulder store in Boulder I used to work in Douglas Toyota that Bill Krauts Subaru all these fucking dealers that were action people shooting heroin in the bathrooms Then I went to Doug Boulder Toyota was like the white as fucking it was owned by the guy that owned the The Utah Jazz in the 80s and the guy that ran the store for him was a guy looked like George Jetson He was a Mormon

He had a big launch pad You know if you were used to selling 20 cars or another dealership and you went to Boulder Toyota the most you would sell is seven or eight Because they didn't have the volume but the manager there taught you how to get the most for your money And uh, there was three different managers. There was a guy Marty Sadler who was from Buffalo. I still talked to There was a guy that was there. I forget what his name is and I still talk to him from time to time He's still a manager of Boulder Toyota But the main guy his name was Jim handy and for some reason, bro

The guy was from Cali and he liked me and he took a liking to me And uh, when I went I had a couple of rough months at first and then he sat me down one day He goes, what do you want to do and I told him I wanted to be a comic and uh, and he goes Well, you know, well, you have to sell cars until you can make that decision I'm gonna teach you how to sell cars the right way and I had been a salesman and I thought that I was a bad motherfucker He's like no no no no no And this guy fucking took me from A to Z

But the whole work that he did with me was about goal setting You know, what do you want? You know, okay, so right now my big goal is uh, you know, you want to lose weight Okay, so you want to go down to 250. All right. What do you weigh now 300 is what you need to do You need to lose eight pounds a month. How are you going to do that? We all say we want to lose weight We all say wake up in the morning want to lose weight want to go back to college Want to stop doing drugs? You know, let's just say you want to lose weight. Okay, so he'd make you right A six-month goal, you know 50 pounds a three-month goal

Which would be 25 pounds and then he'd make you write a weekly and a daily goal So when you went into bold and so you're out every morning, there was a pad on top of your desk already waiting for you And before you talked to anybody before you got coffee before you you went outside and smoked a cigarette or weed or bullshitted You had to fill out three goals. So your goals with today. I'm gonna sell one car. How am I gonna do that today? I got to make 10 calls. I got to take five ups Which means I got to take five customers and I got to ask for the sale And it's it really worked and I started doing it I started doing it to motivate myself when we had josh wolf on the beauty and the beast podcast

He spoke about after he had his separation his divorce of many years ago That he just rolled a goal every day to get up Like if I get up, it's a good day. That's how we started because you're saying like he lived in like a one better Yeah, three kids and the dog and his brother and yeah, it was rough and I was on the couch and And it was really weird how he started this and it's just the same thing I did I didn't know he was doing at the time But I know a lot of people that listen to the podcast and people who uh Are on twitter with me and facebook and fuck around listen to music, you know, we're all lost

We're all searching for something and this guy really fucking put the goals into my life I mean to the point where I became a fucking seldom but then he took an extra step He knew I was unhappy and he pulled me aside when he's like dog when you're out here You're fucking rocking with these motherfuckers. You should try comedy And I was like are you serious and I thought he was just bullshitting me I had heard it like 20 times before I had really done time the guy told me to I just didn't know where to start. I was frustrated and one day I sold his car one night When you sell a car at night, they have to wash it the first thing in the morning

Okay, and when I went over to Tell the lock guys to wash the car his son was one of the lock guys jimmy jr. Who's on facebook. It was a great kid and He said that's funny that you walked over here this morning My mother and my dad aren't getting along too good And he goes he said on the drive here that he wishes he could just get a car and go with you on the road And that meant more to me that somebody had faith in me, you know, like I thought that yeah He was bullshitting me. I don't trust any money

But when I realized that I took his advice and here I am and I still talk to this guy jim handy Uh, he lives in dc now, but he's out in california with his family His brother's sick So I called him last night because I wanted to give people a different perspective You know all the times when I was trying to you know rob and be a douchebag and do drugs and Fuck little midgets in the ass and all that regardless crazy shit at the same time I was trying to get my life together and it was a struggle bro. And how old were you at that point? Do you think? I was probably 30 29 I just got out of the joint and

You know, I knew what I was doing. I knew how to handle myself But there was something missing and I knew I had to get divorced. I knew how to get away from that fucking wench I had to start my life over and uh, and I shouldn't call her a wench. I fucked up myself I knew I should have started my life over and you know, he this guy saying those things to me his son Is he calling? No, no, no, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't yeah So that that's the crack. That's what's crack-a-lacking. You know what I'm saying? So I he's gonna call up today and talk to me about goals and stuff. This is not your usual crazy guy

That's gonna call up and talk about throwing a hooker out of a moving corner like them In fact, next week we're gonna have joey felato on again Talk about with shooting steroids and passing a needle 15 deep in the last guy falling from the mouth I have never forgotten that I've never remember who he was talking about And beside that, let me what time you gotta leave with me at 6 25. Oh, so we got a couple minutes, you know Uh, it's funny because I was watching a bunch of halloween movies this weekend Like a bunch of movies were on and you walking in our american movie classics had young frankenstein, you know And it is a brilliant movie the thing about young frankenstein is you don't see it as much as the other movies

So when you do see it you fucking giggle your ass off But uh, I got a movie for these guys, but I gotta tell you about this week All right, so I went to the lab factory all week and I had some great spots, you know, I want to shoot the special And uh january here. So it's like anything else. I gotta sit down and go back to the drawing board It was weird how we did the other special because for the other special I've never done a joke again. I've never done any of those jokes again in their mcd. Yeah Very seldom do I do those jokes at 1040 club or whatever Yeah, I didn't really hear you do those jokes before before you know why

Because I would just sneak them out into little clubs and try them You know, it's crazy the real reason I don't do those jokes. I can't find the fucking notebook Because I had a different notebook that had the special and that was my training log That I had those jokes and the stories hand written out. I can't find it. I think I lost it that night It's the fucking craziest thing So I go to the ha ha and flappers just to do little sets to try new little jokes I don't want people hearing my shit before I put it out. I don't see the in a mass I'll throw a

Premise out there at the lab factory just to see where it's at And then I'll haul it back and then redo it and not say it till I take the special And last night went to the ha ha. That's why I'm tired. So that's why I couldn't sleep last night I fucking fell asleep hard yesterday. Oh, yeah, you know five workouts a week writing Performing a couple spots the wife driving her, you know, it just uh, it really does take a toll on me I have a lot of fucking energy, you know, I'm gonna be 50 in February But still man like yesterday at 11 o'clock. We got back from whatever we did the podcast in the morning We got back about 12. We went no, she came she went shopping. I don't even know what the fuck we did yesterday

And when I got back I I was watching the game one of the games were on that said, you know, I got a nap I napped to a four o'clock, bro. Yeah, me too I was a four fucking hour nap, you know And I got up and I rode a little bit and I cleaned up and I watched my pussy And I went down for the high and last night was like a pseudo open mic And I saw a girl go down there. Her name was manic some manner or something like that. The fucking girl was amazing Really? That's great. But here's the thing like she was the type of girl that she was naturally funny. She was very charismatic She was cute, you know, but she wasn't she didn't have chops like she didn't have

25 years of headlining under her or 10 years or whatever She probably done comey for a year, but this girl's already a star like if somebody sees her She's already a star. She's funny enough to be on the tv show. Wow You know, like a lot of people are that's why you don't see him again after a tv show because then this becomes work Now you gotta do the work and there's a lot of people with in their 20s who come here They they're very personable to have a little humor to them Which I I got nothing against, you know, then they get to a show and it's as funny as they need to be For that show what her next move is will be up to her

But when I left there, I talked to a bunch of open mites outside And it's so nice to talk to young guys like I don't ever want to be in a position Like they weren't fucking rubbing my balls. No, we were just talking about movies and And comedy and what you need to do and the amount of sets And talking to them inspires me When I go to watch an open mic like I'll sit in the back. I'm not there to criticize. No, but I'm not there like that That's not me. I know what it is to start off in comedy And I know how hard it is and then what society and the media and life has for you

So I'm not there to criticize. I go watch and I get inspired by these young kids That that was me 20 years ago. I mean, I was an old man when I started was already 28 But that was me and I understand their pain and I'm watching them and I see how happy they get when I mean There was nine people in the audience and six of them were comedians Wow, you're following me. There was two guys from a recording studio right around the corner, but Uh, that's what I have to do to get back on my feet like to get back I've been struggling stand-up wise this year because everything happened so fast I had the cd written and you know me. I try to write as much as I can but then I had all these jokes

I had all these road gigs that I'd gotten and I didn't have enough material for them So I only have uh, chicago november 8th. I've got ontario this weekend, which i'm fucking excited about Yeah, you know, I've got some material rolled up to there and then december and january I'm just gonna stay in and do local gigs. I'm doing the end of the world with rogan I'm doing december 13th at the manhouse in san diego But you know, it takes two or three months to really develop. I'm gonna go into training now Yeah, you know when you see the u.s.c. Fighters running up there with a mask. That's me only I got to get a pen And I gotta go to fucking the coffee shop. I'm right

But I got to change my scheduler and I got to get out at night a lot more and that's what you need to do When you want, you know, yes, I was taking this shit. I'm sitting there going You know, maybe I'll do three sets a week in training When you first get here the first it's like getting out of a rehab When you get out of rehab the first thing they say is to get On stage 90 days to get up to go to a meeting for 90 days after you get out of rehab 24 pills Alcoholism drugs they always tell you to go to rehab. That's so it becomes in your soul It becomes a part of something that's what I have to start doing so I gotta change my sleep habit around

I'm I love being up at night. I just can't stay up no more. I'm 50 at 8 30. I'm fucking tired You know, I get in edible with me or whatever and I'm fucking tired, you know So it's it's gonna be tough this year to fucking really stay out and I got flappers and I got the ha ha and I got the laugh factory and I'm working with Tony Hincliffe who I fucking one of the funniest kids. I'm gonna have him on the podcast tomorrow. By the way I woke up this morning to Text or Facebook from Felicia Michaels saying that we got nominated beauty and the beast Got nominated for best podcast or something like that. I think it was a comedy award

We plugged a couple a couple weeks ago and I thank you people. I really thank you people from the bottom of my heart I've always believed in beating the beast and I never saw the numbers or anything really, you know It's always at 60 or 50 or 85 and it really always bothered me I thought that beating the beast would do a lot better than what it did. I work real hard on being the beast I have to get a fucking guest every week and make sure he's a fucking mook and he got a second chance And if not guest cancel, so it's really rough what we do We only do one podcast a week because she's got two kids, you know And I got what's going on and now for doesn't come in here taking shit in the cat with a box

The one thing about Fidel though, I got to tell you about Fidel my cat not Fidel Castro's in Cuba With a stroke right now The one thing about this motherfucker is she's one of the cleanest cats you'll ever meet Let me tell you what I mean by cleanest cats Let's say a cat takes the shit and doesn't cover this shit He will come in here cover this shit for the cat and then go hit him in the head It's I've seen it. I've seen him walk the cat and just fucking whack him like put the fucking Put the dirt over the fucking shit. All right

And my heart goes out to the people in the east coast today where hurricane sandy god knows what's gonna happen But that's the jersey sure that snooki and her radioactive fucking pussy is the is deterring the fucking waves in the store As it's coming in right now all those fucking guidos down the jersey sure I love you crazy motherfuckers man. You don't know what life is so you go out of the jersey sure I've never been there. They got the Bronx Brooklyn Staten Island they got everything but there's nothing like that fucking jersey sure But supposedly the jersey sure I see some pictures on facebook That people I went to high school with because a lot of people live down the jersey sure I've put up

It looks already like the waves are fucked up. It's supposed to be a superstar And you know what's crazy like you sit there and there's this motherfucker and now he's scraping you hear that That's him. He took a tremendous shit and look at he's gonna walk out like a gentleman, but look at him He don't care see see see he washes his paws This guy's a fucking savage. I wish I had a camera to put on but those are good men for dope. Come in You want to come here? Feetalito? Fido come here I got catnip cock sucker

Yeah, what's the Catnip don't work when my wife is here. They don't give a fuck about my chubby ass disgusting catnip That's really because I mean coming here at five in the morning isn't something I would normally be excited about Well, when your wife opens the door and there's cats, it's great But one of the coolest things I've seen since your wife's been pregnant every time she opens the door There's like 10 cats like like guarding her or they guard her bro. The boys guard it looks like they hear To me cops office This is the best catnip in the world to beg to discontinue it and

It's manufactured in canada, which that just goes to show you don't have good weed They also have catnip motherfuckers. They ain't fucking around in canada This book is getting really good. This american desperado. It's weird when you relate to a book. Is he calling because uh This roberts guy, we she changed his name isn't his name was like john riccabini And he's talking about how uh, he was raising long island or whatever and his parents his mother died So he had to live in jersey And he's mugging people robbing people in the same place as I robbed him in teaneck kind of flying gas station But the funny thing about this guy, there's a whole chapter now how to beat somebody up with a fucking bat

He talks about how to hurt somebody whatever. I mean this book is fucking amazing so far But it's really weird his mother died He was a big he wanted to be a big basketball player And you know, I was talking to uh, who called here last week chucking me. Yeah, he was talking about that. He still sees uh Dan reagan for a long time. I wanted to go shoot dan reagan. That was my freshman basketball coach That crushed my hopes and dreams. I wasn't gonna kill that motherfucker But uh, you know what man life moves on and uh, I fucked up Oh, I was he didn't start me fresh me. Oh chris gainer chris gainer called and was talking about how

When he went up there, he's seen uh, one of those guys chucked I think both of them guys talked about it. Both of those guys talked about this fucking vape was good to them Stone's fuck, you know what i'm saying? Eureka vape. But now when they saw a lot of the cartridges They gotta wait they come into the ontario shows. Oh good. Oh, yeah, and people are hitting me up I don't really go with joey to his shows. I'll I'll try to come. Are you still doing a sunday show? Down there. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll come to that Sunday's gonna be good. It's myself edwin sand one Martin Rizzo and fucking george

Perez Perez my main man george Perez. So I got it all mixed up for the weekend I got some people doing guess but no death squad Everybody from death squads out of town. So, you know, please forgive me I always try to get the death squad guys involved in that shit, but joes in seattle Uh, red bands willem gregford simons is willem arry somewhere and dunking somewhere, you know I was hoping to see dunking today down at memeys cafe. We're gonna get a steak And we're trying to we're trying to get my uncle on the podcast, but Uncle jimmy jam. What's happening beautiful?

Good morning. How are you? How are you my friend? How you feeling today? I'm feeling good And uh But the full moon is out. So my heart is warm Okay, as long as the full moon is out there, you fucking vampire. Love to have you on here How's little jimmy doing all the kids are good. Everybody's good Everybody's good. Yeah, jimmy's preparing for jimmy and his family are preparing for the hurricane Sandy they live just outside of dc in defesa. So they're uh, having to uh, kind of scramble a little bit

Put it out what they're gonna do if they're gonna evacuate so their mothers in, uh, Missouri or just write it out Missouri have them write it out. It's gonna be all right. The jersey shores are gonna get killed They're gonna be all right in dc baltimore That the storm is looking for romney wherever romney's that that's where they're gonna go hunt that motherfucker down So jim uncle jim the reason why I was I wanted you on the show today is uh, You know, I always play these criminals I grew up with and they tell their stories But the whole time I was getting in trouble. I was also a searcher bettering myself and I ran into you at bolder toyota And you uh got me started in two directions

You really taught me the patois of car sales and you got me convinced into getting on stage But you taught me something else that I still do every day and if america knew this shit They wouldn't be in the proms they're having and that's goals. Do you mind talking to us a little bit about that? Well goal-setting if you fail to plan you plan to fail It's uh, it's really that simple and goals have done so much for me it's uh, you know, I'm uh Be time answer survivor the goal got me through each Set of those the circumstances and just to uh, you know put it in in plainer terms. It's uh

It's basic it's just the basic of How you're gonna look at life how life is gonna treat you and uh, you know, as I said 30 years ago or maybe was longer than that The uh difference between being good being great is just a little bit Building blocks for me and what I tried to instill in all of us Because I was learning as I was As I was going through all this back then as well is that Goals is

And especially the written written goal. So it is the written goal because there's power absolute Power and the written word And that's what helped uh me on a daily basis on an hourly basis get through uh, some trying times interesting fantastic You know, I was telling Lee that when uh, we were at bolder Toyota the first thing we had to do in the morning before we got qualifier taken up Was we had to write our goals

That was the first thing on the thing we had to write What do we want from today and then the three things to support that so you want to sell a car You got to mail letters. You got to take 10 ups and you got to make 15 phone calls And I do the same now, you know, uh, I'm taking a shoot in a special in january So every day I wake up. What do I need to do? I need to write five minutes a week I need to get on stage twice a night and try the joke I need to stay focused, you know, these are the things I write down myself. So I still believe in this 20 years later, Jim Well, yeah, you're living proof. It's obvious that you and I have been talking over the years about this

I know you've been carrying on In bold in your life and in your uh, you know professional personal life and uh, uh, it's a it's a beautiful thing It's a beautiful thing to do at a lot It's uh You know, you were born to be funny, but uh, I mean, there's no No, uh disputing that Um And the real proof is that I couldn't help uh, to keep you from trying out your new material and all the tests

That was that that was a trial was always a constant over the pa. Yeah, the old ideas Jim's office, you have a longest phone call That meant quick trying out your uh, materia and get back to selling the car It was a beautiful day And we had a good time on that a lot. I was thinking about the guy that was coming from california Cormier remember that was his name I'll never forget that guy. He worked for the phone thing And you also taught us how important the phone was and how to you know, call people like now

I still you know by me selling cars It was the building blocks For me to either be in a good comedian or a decent community because a lot of people know that half the comedy war out here is marketing It's not about the funniest guy isn't who's on tv and gets a special It's about marketing and uh, that's what else you taught me is how to You know get it out there when you when you're when you're trying to sell something You have to call people and and you taught us that but that guy used to come in remember once a week From california and if you had the most people that uh

That came in off the phone. He'd take you to lunch at a nice place Do you remember that thing and we had the boots in the corner His name was what was his name Joe Verde Joe, I thought it was cormier for some reason joe cormier or bill You know, I brought in three or four of them and um cormier was another one. He was a I think he was a uh Uh, a Verde rep That went rogue and started his own company. So, uh, but yeah, he was um Uh, you know another huge example of a guy that took it to extreme and uh

He was all over the power of the written word and that there's There's true passion in uh power and you know, joe. We're constantly Selling ourselves nowadays. It's uh, like you said, it's not the guy with the most talent. It's the guy that can market himself That can follow up And and if you're not writing this stuff down You're missing you're missing out and you're going to be you're going to be good, but you're not going to be great You're going to be fair, but you're not going to be good and Uh, you know, it's it's that a little bit of uh, uh, discipline

Um, you know, there's two there's two types of uh pain the pain of discipline or the pain of regret And uh for not having on the discipline and uh goal setting in in any capacity just uh two minutes a day Writing down uh four or five things that you want to get accomplished and it could be going to the grocery store So it could you know, it's that redundant. It's that uh remedial uh, but it's uh It's uh, it's pure power pure power and without goals you can't Be prepared enough And uh, you know, a lot of people would say a lot of sales people back then would

Tell me oh, I'm doing I got mental goals. I got it all in my head. Well a mental goal is just a Just a broken promise to yourself It's uh Isn't fulfilled and and it's not gonna not going to carry its own way Oh, it's uh, it's the power of the written word that uh, it carries a day with the goal setting and and uh And getting things done You know, I applied to my day with a lot of people don't know is I have a notebook and i'm showing the people on camera right now that I have a notebook

And I started off it says 10 29 to 11 4 and it has monday through sunday on that And I know where I am every day to the fucking minute Because of this every day to the minute, you know, it says monday right one hour six a.m. Podcast 1145 to 1245 yoga. I gotta write a blog. I gotta fucking write commie and I gotta write two uh pages in my book Everything in there is for the day tomorrow. I gotta go to acupuncture. You know, I gotta watch uh, Sun's anarchy at seven You know, I gotta I gotta do a podcast every my whole week is in front of my eyes gym

At all times I have a little one and then I have a big planet You know, I have a book in the morning that I get up gym and I write What I think about the day and then my goals for the day to be a better person You know help somebody out and then to work on my stuff So I've been following this shit since I met you jim since I met you I've been following this stuff I didn't have to pay for it. It was something that was passed on to me You know this morning I always get I get pissed off at jim because I have a cat fidel And he likes to eat in the same fucking spot every day

And if you don't feed him in the same fucking spot every day, he has a heart attack. He's waking me up at two in the fucking morning My wife picks up the cat bowls and doesn't put the bowl for him at the same fucking spot every day So he wakes me up at two in the morning Then when I get up at six and I'm trying to pee he's like Why and I'm like because you move his fucking bowl and I see this across america that people don't want to do the same things every day And there's things in life that you have to do when you're on a diet You don't just not drink coca-cola Monday and tuesday that's every day

But people can't figure out why things don't work in their life Because after eight or nine days they go back to what they were fucking doing even if they know that it's bad for them And that includes myself But at least you have to be knowledgeable of it like you have to do certain things every day when I get up in the morning I wash my fucking I come in here. I get some coffee. I do what I gotta do But before I wash my pussy I write in that book before I get in that shower. I know my plan for the day I know what I need to accomplish that day and it makes me a lot happy I think it makes me more positive in the morning because I know my fucking route for the day. I know my map for the day

so It's a mental exercise physical exercise fills you with you know cranks up your serotonin level and get your dopamine going And doing goals does that same thing for your brain? There's a lot of brains research going on now that uh, they say once you uh, you know if you don't use it you lose it Well, not true. You can start goals at any age And your brain power will increase there's a um, you know Practice is what leads the passion and passion Passion sells going passion is what sells

You know, there's a Malcolm Gladwell great, uh, author Uh, I've been reading that blink and I've been reading outliers his, uh, story of success and he talks about uh Practice and the difference between Being great and being brilliant and being good and being great and he talks about 10 000 hours and uh That it takes uh in any profession sports comedy 10 000 hours is is what it takes to be an absolute master

Of that uh of that profession and you can break that down into four hours a day five days a week For about 9.6 years You've been doing this for 30 years. No, I've been doing this for 20. I've been doing this for 20 on the books But you know, I've been trying to I've been funny since I was five I just didn't know what to do with it. What most people in this country don't know what to do They don't know what to do with what they got jim cal jim cal jim handy They don't know what the fuck to do with what they got Once I realized what I had to do and I realized where I was going and made the journey a lot easier

You know, absolutely so many guys and gals that that uh, uh, you know came into our fold at the store there and at the dealership and and uh got into the program got into writing their goals and went from zero to hero in about a week the light bulb just went on huge and I keep in touch with a couple other people uh through the years and uh there We talk about goals. We talk about all much of other stuff that goals always pops up and I would just uh Turn that 25 water into a to a hundred water

because The results are there and the results are are uh quick. They're mean, you know I remember for the last 10 years. I was doing coke and pills and shit I'd wake up the next morning and that was the first thing I would write, you know I'm gonna stop doing drugs, you know And it took 10 years for the power of the fucking pen, but it eventually won. I didn't have to go to a rehab I didn't have to go give somebody hugs or go get fucking out. You wash in a mountain You know, I sit here sometimes you and I can't realize what made me stop doing blow. It's going to be five years, uh

in november and I can't imagine what it was, but I think it was The power of the pen is so, you know, I kept writing it over and over. I gotta stop doing blow I gotta You know stop Fucking chicks and bars and get my dick suck with std's and eventually it's stuck, you know, it's stuck and uh I just really wanted you to tell these people that how far back we've been going, you know Irby always says that I have a story that I changed my life

I don't see the change But it was because I wrote stuff down and I believed in it and it's thanks to you, man Fucking thanks to you 20 years ago a bolder Toyota the dead end street next to a Lincoln mercury fucking store That's why I learned about life, you know Yeah Well, you had to go you had destiny and you had to get to Hollywood and uh Uh, that's kind of the deal we made that day I said brother, you gotta go you gotta get

You gotta go to Hollywood. You gotta follow this dream and take these schools and uh, you're sent to humor and put in your soul and get out there and that's uh What you did proud of you, proud of all of us And uh, for getting through, you know, trying times good times happy times and it's uh, you know, it's it's it's uh, you can say practice makes perfect Uh, you can call it whatever you want. That's uh Uh, if you're practicing something most likely, you know, if you want to be a good Guitar player violent player, uh, you've got to Have a teacher what that teacher's doing is giving you lessons and lessons our goal

um whether you're uh Wanting to be uh, uh, whatever you want to be You know, it's uh, you'll put her faster and more efficiently by writing it down You know, I forgot about the talk we had when you told me to add a leave and go do that but I got to tell you now in front of a bunch of people that listened to this show It wasn't even that that got me. It was one day. I was telling li I sold the car at night You know when you sold the car before closing

The people would come back in the morning to get it washed You know, oh, yeah, and uh I got there at 10 to 9 and I ran to the back and you were there and I think me and marty sold the car the night before and I asked you where jimmy jr. Was and your son was working with us that summer on the lot And this is a true story. I went back there and he was talking to the younger brother And I guess at the time you and your wife were having problems at home and uh when I Walked up on them when I walked up on them They both looked at me and they were like speak of the devil and I go

What are you talking about? And he goes on the ride to work this morning My father was so frustrated and he said that he feels like quitting this whole thing and just taking you on the road To do comedy those fucking words went through my heart. I mean, uh, it killed me Because I realized that you had that much faith in me and here I was dicking around Selling cars, which I was still trying to get my life together But that was what really uh when the two boys said to me that on the drive You told them that you were thinking of quitting this whole thing and just taking me in a fucking car on the road

That was that was it after that. So I thank you for that Well, you know, you had the passion and you had, uh, you know the talent and you know in uh Sales and car sales. Anyway, you know, it all started with the knowledge. You know, if you're talking about it, you know, you talk Uh Enthusiastic about it. You can have passion passion sell And you got passion

You got passion It's all I got dog. You gotta be passionate about something. I love I love it. I love what I do and I love talking to people And I'm happy I kept in touch with you man because you're still an inspiration I can't believe you dropped knowledge on these motherfuckers like you did this morning You got a question from the uh, yeah, dim I don't know how much Joey's told you but I'm 24 and there's a lot of people my age Who don't have jobs and and you guys have been talking about goals and that's great But for people who haven't done it, do you have like examples?

Like if you were going to tell someone to start doing goals who's never done it before Like do you have something you would you would tell them to start with? Yeah Hold on I'm on I just I lost you for about five seconds there. I'm sorry say that again. Oh, I'm sorry I I said I'm in my early 20s And there's a lot of people my age who listen and who don't have jobs And then you've been talking about goals with Joey and and I was wondering if you had like if someone hasn't done goals before

What do you recommend starting with just because Goals is great, but you could like it just it's so broad Sure You start with a piece of paper and a pen You get a notebook you don't get a get a loose leaf notebook It doesn't have to be structured. You don't have to go get a tony robbins seminar Uh, you just uh start with a piece of paper and you sit down and you you you can start out with just Uh a broad sense of what you want to get done

Where where do you want to go and you start with two words? I want And just start writing down as many things as you can put down as to I want I want I want then prioritize those and Start a just a little uh a personal action plan of your own on Uh one manageable ask at a time

One manageable idea at a time if you've got a list of 10 20 different items. Okay, it's three Now you're manageable and just get a notebook And don't put anything else in that notebook and plan to fill that notebook up and already think about getting the next notebook And it's it's a daily thing. You've got to review what you did yesterday and My brother it takes five minutes Initially, it's going to take you a half hour hour might take you a day might take you a day or two Because once you start looking at your at your uh your initial list

You can uh say well, you know, there's nothing on there that really grabs me well then write another list And something will grab you something will make sense and then just start from there Uh boil it down to a manageable list two three items. Maybe even concentrate on one And put down two or three action items But really you've got to hang with it It's got to be a discipline because you're going to you're going to have Discipline of of uh Of doing it or you're going to have to regret of not doing it

So it's uh, it's really something you got to stick with And do you think it works because like it feels good when you check something off or why why do you feel so strongly about it? Well, there's there's uh, uh, you know so many Uh different things that can that are going to come up for you That uh, you're going to find out well a whole lot about yourself as you start crossing things off and um It'll start to uh That your future will take a little bit different shape. I'm not going to say. Oh my god. I'm I you're going to have a revelation

But uh, your your future is going to start to come a little bit more into clarity You know, there's a lot of people your age like you said hard hard to get jobs hard to get through school Uh coming out of school with a big load on your plate financially and uh, but if you're not hitting the bricks And getting up early and well sleep later. I'll go out and look for a job at noon. I know the job that they're all gone You got to get out early stay focused and uh Uh write it down that Written word has just way too much power and it'll it'll present itself to you immediately

That's awesome. And thank you. That's all I have uncle jim. We'll talk during the week. Thank you very much for calling in Say hello to the boys. I love you buddy I will I love you too, brother. All right. Thanks for calling and have a great week my man. That was great He's gonna take care much love I'm sorry. I just I it really sounded cool and I wanted to understand for me and for everyone else just it's uh I got lucky that I interned somewhere and I I got a good job but there's just Almost all my friends like are either have jobs that they don't like like they're working high school jobs

or stuff like that and just I try not to talk to you guys and you know, you know these people but that it just sounded so cool No, listen, bro. This is not even about a job leave. This is about your life You know, I know you want to do a lot of things with your life. Hey, listen, you know I sit here every week and I tell these stories. Shit I got crazy friends calling but the other side of my coin Was I was always trying to better myself. That's why I took those college classes even when I was breaking into You know, I was taking college classes. I

You know, I didn't want to live like that. I never want to live like that You know, it may sound like it to you guys It was something I got caught up in and I'm not going to pull it back now because I'm who I am It's made me who I am. But I was always trying to better myself. I was always, you know, you said something to me That fuck with me yesterday. I don't like reading. I always read I always thought that if I read it would make me a better human being, you know, uh You know, this election's coming and everybody's always saying this and this if this guy wins going to change if this guy wins You know, I don't I've never wasted my time with all that because I know that to make things change

You got to change it from your heart and from what then it all starts with that decision You know, I have a friend that won't go to a fucking rehab She won't go to a rehab. I I know for a fact she she knows she needs to go I had to stop talking to her Because it's it's the rehab is way beyond that. It's we're part of we're past the alcoholism We're into being a kiss of death where everything's so negative Addiction has gotten from the inside out like it had me with the blow. You're a negative person You know, you don't think because you can't change. You don't think anything else is good

You know when I called to tell them my wife was pregnant. She's like look out for miscarriages You know, it's always something. Yeah, it's always like the evil side of life You know what? I used to look at life evil like that too and I don't and it made my life a lot fucking better You know I'm saying so. Yeah It all starts with just sitting down in the mornings, you know, people look at me and they're like, oh, but joey You're crazy. You know, you do drugs or whatever. Amen That was a part of me the other part of me was there was always a little guy inside of me trying to you know Yell and scream and say I just want to be a normal fucking person

That's why when I listen to you and you're like, I want more from my life What more can you be doing the only more you could be doing is being married and having kids are going back to college And getting your master's degree or working at an office where you get your law degree I mean you're Jewish. What the fuck are you doing? cameras and shit You know me. I love a jew attorney. They're the fucking best. They don't fuck around they cost But they're the best that they always come up with a by the way They always show up with that rock to throw through your fucking window, you know saying that's what I love about the jews

What else do you want from your life? Do you want, you know, and that's what you have to this is where jim handy comes in You know, because sometimes we're looking for this happiness. It's right in front of us. Yeah Who the fuck are you kidding? It's right in front of us, man, but we don't know what to fucking stupid We don't see it, you know, like I've told you a thousand times it kills me in this country You got the ipad and the eye touch and the eye this and the eye suck dick But when there's a problem, you don't look the eye You know lead does I I I I you know you I I add up to death But most people in this country don't look at the problem

They go to a psychiatrist now they pay somebody to tell them what the fuck their problems are I never understood that or they pay somebody to put them back in the life on the right fucking track Well, people hit me up all the time. Lord, you're gonna be my life coach. How are you gonna have joy? Diaz is your fucking life coach, but I understand where you're coming from I laugh at first But I know where you're coming from because I look at life from a different perspective, you know I hate halloween, bro. I hate halloween because Next sunday was the last real talk. I have my mother november 3rd

And then she died on the 8th and that night I didn't get home You know and all the documentaries we do and all the interviews. I was just listening to an old podcast with moz He said that the best thing about joey Diaz is that you never know what he's going to call you Because I've always checked in calm mind-setting on the documentary A lot of people jones said I check in with all my friends And then one of the reasons why I check in it's a commitment thing It's something that I have to do to better myself to let them know. I'm watching them. They're watching me I love checking in with people. I don't know where I was going with this that fucking vapor kill me

Do you think because a couple weeks ago we had a No, we were talking and you were saying how like you you don't understand that people can sit around all day on sunday and watch football Do you think part of that's the the Goal setting with jim like because if you're goal setting you don't have time to be sitting around all day Just doing do you think like that part of you that can't sit around is from the goal? No, no when I was a kid if you listen to any fucking michael jackson interview He always talks about how they stole his childhood from him. You know when he cries about it I have the same

Anger in my heart my childhood was stolen from me a little part of me Because my stepfather was very aggressive in the center. My mother didn't play fucking games. You know they didn't play games They were just very You know on shark on the ball people and then one day i'm 15 and the lord takes my mother. Okay, so I went from Doing what I wanted to do you're doing the things I had to do When you're 15 you want to sit and watch a fucking game and jump up and down with your little hat I couldn't do that no more. I had no money coming and I had to figure out something to do So that's always been on the bottom of me. So I had a sacrifice. What sacrifice just split the day in half

You know There's two fucking football games on I watched the one in the other half. I'll read a book You know this whole thing is about sacrifice last night came home and there was ham and cheese and jambalaya I was fucking starving. I was fucking starving. So I got a piece of cheese with cracker and I ate a banana I compromised with myself. I made a deal. I really wanted to make a ham and cheese sandwich with mayonnaise I had Italian bread and fucked the lettuce and tomato at 12 30 and then you can't sleep right I couldn't be on for this this morning So all this life is is compromises last night. I wanted to go to bed at nine

If it was up to me, I would have made an edible and gotten to bed at nine I got to be out at night if you want to do stand-up comedy. You got to be out at night So for the next three months, I'm gonna be out at night if something happens. She has the baby her water breaks I'm right around the corner. I'm here by the time she gets the bag and puts a cotton ball in the pussy I'm ready to fucking drive to the hospital. You know My wife is having a baby. I gotta stick close by, you know, I love my wife. I'm having a great time with her Uh, I went to the doctor with her last thursday. You know when I fucking hate the one of the doctors for myself Never mind going down with her and I had a great time. They had the thing on the they showed the baby's head

It's fucking little whole fingers It's fucking feet and shit and uh It had her ears the ears are bent and pointy and it's got my fucking big head And it's finally dawning on me. What's coming up in my life what I need to do and all this shit and uh It's feeling good. You know, I'm putting the pieces together god God threw a blessing on me when he put you in my life The jew god put you in my life the cuban jew god said I gotta put a little fucking chubby jew in your life That's a bad motherfucker. That's trying to get his dick sucked on his balls licked and shit

That little girl you tell her you're gonna send her a picture of your dick and you got a suntan your dick You can't send her that pale jew dick. I've never done that before Well, you got a suntan. I gotta put some makeup on it You got a felicia taking my his picture your dick because felicia took a picture of my balls and my asshole and me and Felicia takes good pictures. So call up tonight and go felicia I could send her a picture in my instagram of my dick, but I don't want that one to be more artistic Can you help me and she'll take a nice picture for you. They'll put makeup and they'll yell cut And everybody's fucking happy and you send her a picture of that little jew cock

And it's all over but this shot pull a little yarmulke on the side a little mountain A couple fucking rocks a picture of jesus getting beat up and then you're ready to go. You're slinging dickly It's monday. You bad motherfuckers. Lee. What do you got for music for me? You lined anything up? Well, do we want to do angel heart? We're gonna say well, let's do angel heart first Let me tell you what's cracking people. I saw I was totally before I watched angel I watched young frankenstein, which is very funny. Yeah, and somebody had night man on the street on the night Which the first one I always thought was one of the funniest movies. I had a funniest I don't like scary movies

Yeah, me either because I have nightmares at night. I gotta sleep with a fucking light on And it just embarrasses me. So I don't like scary movies, but I like scary movies when I don't See people get chopped up. I like scary movies when it fucks with my mind Suspense. Yeah suspense. I like uh, not even the suspense. I like suspenseful movies, but I like uh, you know the exorcist I I talk shit about the exorcist constantly because it just wasn't about a girl getting a devil It's it's all this is going on in the director's eye and the shots he took in the priest and just the mental fuck that this movie

Was made in 1970 and if you still watch it, it's still fucks you people still hit me up on twitter and go joey I watched the exorcist. Why the fuck did you put that movie in my life? It's heavy-duty movie. He goes to africa. He finds the statue wherever the fuck he finds I know people gonna hit me back. It wasn't africa. It was jersey. I don't give a fuck You know, but uh angel heart is always one of my favorite movies. It came out 1987 and it stars mickey rourke and Robert DeNiro is the devil. He calls himself lewis cipher, which is really Lucifer and the movie is basically about

A private investigator that gets hired by deniro who was aka the satan To find the kid that cut a deal with the devil a musician Brilliant script Cut a deal with the devil and then reneged on it. Oh, shit So he changed his name. He tried to do all this thing and now satan was collecting his soul So satan was gonna put him through a ring. I can't tell you any more than that The reason why I love this fucking movie is every time they go into a different scene. They always show the cover Where they where they did the the deal with the devil was in this apartment building in the outside of it

Look like the outside cover of physical graffiti 1975 led zeppelin nine line line in the line Anyway, I know I can't sing for shit, but put on physical graffiti. What are you laughing about fucking the flying juke? But uh, I told lee about this movie a while ago. Uh, my wife didn't even know about I had to go get angel heart on at At uh, oh me but I got it for like 10 bucks And I brought it home and we watched it after the wrestler Because she had never watched this movie

But the real thing about this movie came out in 87 or 88 When the cosbies were hot and Lisa Bonet decided to do a fuck scene in it And the fuck scene is tremendous. He's fucking the mickey rock and blood starts coming out of the ceilings And it's just fucking crazy play that script. This is a part where uh Then they were all finally comes the devil finally confronts mickey rock hit it little brother Louis cypher Lucifer Even your name is a time star joke

Mephistopheles is such a mouthful in Manhattan Johnny You think posing as the devil is because it scared some superstitious old guitar player and And that witch and that nutty old man You think it's gonna scare me It ain't because I know who I am And you killed them And you're trying to pin it on me And I know who I am

If I had cloven hooves and a point of tail, would you be more convinced? You're crazy I know I am you're trying to frame me You're trying to frame me cypher. I know who I am You murdered them people I never killed no money I didn't kill Fowler And I didn't kill toots

And I didn't kill Margaret and I didn't kill cruise mark. I didn't kill no one I'm afraid you did Johnny. My name's not Johnny. Well killed by your own hand Guided by me naturally Frankly, you were doomed from the moment you slit that young boy in half Johnny For 12 years you've been living unborrowed time and under the man's memories Hey, I wanted to wine sap casinos wine sap. Well, he's dead Nasty accident Don't worry no one will mourn one less lawyer in the world

There's death everywhere But what gives human life it's worth anyway Because someone loves it hates it The flesh is weak Johnny only the soul is immortal Yours belongs to me God damn I still got it motherfuckers Are you kidding me or what I give you?

What's the movie at midnight run? I give you angel heart for halloween. Who loves you motherfuckers like me? Oh, shit. Daniel looks creepy. Whoever I'm telling you guys long fingernails I'm telling you guys when he eats that egg and he tells him that the religion the some religions the egg is a Soul or the soul and he eats the fucking egg, but watch the fuck seem and then and when you rent it There's two fuck scenes. There's the pg one for for you fucking christians with the bell and the fucking tambourine And you got the rated double x one with lisa bonnet shows a little black monkey and a little asshole If you guys like that little dark meat, that's just a thanksgiving. There you go. You know what I'm saying speaking of scary movies Have you ever seen a

Rosemary's baby? Oh, that's another 70. That's another 70. Fuck that one. We're fucking around the 70s These guys did a pound of blow and then scared the fuck out of you. That's the way to do it I don't want to who's gonna scare me some 13 year olds. She's getting stabbed at the beach I want a psychological fuck. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that one's whoo. That one's a psycho. So please angel heart Now let me tell you something you guys always go to all these podcasts listen for the next movie Dog, I'm only gonna give you one fucking movie a week, but it's gonna be heat whether I give you music or an album This is the shit that shaped me if you notice I don't waste time with shitty fucking movies I could see a movie in a trailer and tell you what time it is

It don't take no fucking genius when you see a trailer that that's the best part of the fucking movies All these movies you guys go see today like I said in five years You can't drop a fucking scene on me. You know, I haven't seen that movie in 20 years Let me tell you something about angel heart. I saw that movie right before I committed that crime Really like a month or two before or three before but here's the beauty of it I went sat there and watched the matinee And sat there and watched it again Really I went out smoked a joint went right back in there in 87 or 88 and watched it again because I didn't figure out the ending

Till I bought the video two years ago with my wife That's how strong this movie is a psychological fuck So take all your little halloween movies children of the corny band either I could dig that one But uh, I'm telling you right now the spookiest fucking movie is angel heart with mickey rourke and denaro And it's the best two actors at the time This is fucking mickey rourke. Well, a lot of people don't know is and we're gonna be covering this movie That's what a raging bull denaro didn't work for a few years because they said he was involved in the belushi Really the night belushi died denaro was with uh, uh, uh, but denaro and uh

Again, we're talking about a more commendi Robin Williams went down to the store to get fucking richer prior and they were gonna go party And they were gonna go meet up with belushi a lot of people don't fucking know that story So when denaro came back he came back with uh midnight run He came back with fucking angel heart. So for you people don't know when you love your little movies There you have it. I was gonna give you an album today, but you know what? It's too much on your plate Hurricane sandy everybody's worried about what the fuck is going on. What was the final school? I know that the devil broncos didn't go over last night 55, but they were close. It was like 44

It was 34 or something like that. Wasn't it? Let me check it. I was close. They might have gone over. Let me check No, let me go over It was 55 fucking points 34 to 14. So that's uh, 48 Told you they didn't go over and that was the easiest thing because the line but they tried to fuck with you on sunday night That's what they do. That's what they do. So I guarantee a lot of people went over 55 And got I would have gone over 55. I'm a born loser I should have an L right on my fucking forehead and that's it brothers and sisters I want to thank some people that support the podcast here

My man rich powell luka banna seahan jesse heart Carrie michael walden, I love you motherfuckers. I'm happy that you listen to the podcast and you enjoy it and that you're having a great time and what not Uh, don't forget. I'm at the anterio improv this weekend Thursday friday saturday and sunday if you want to get tickets the number is 909 484 5 4 1 1 I'm doing radio thursday and friday. We're doing the podcast again wednesday. No gambling Podcast next weekend after we took an o and two bidding. There's no sense of us coming back

I've got a good pick for you to bring you motherfuckers back. Remember november 8th Me and arisha fear the baddest fucking jew next to the flying jew. I'm gonna have to get you as both a helicopter and Uh, I'm gonna be at the chicago house of blues the show is gonna rock trust me I'm telling you we're having to have a good fucking time my man. Mitch nut is showing up We might do a podcast they're hiding from my wife. There's gonna be reef I got like three or four state alert people coming in that growing shit. They're bringing bombs mushrooms Make sure you're at the house of fucking blues november 8 tickets are online I'm in arizona at the scotsdale comedy whatever this friday and saturday

I got to cancel thursday because I got that sweet water movie And that's it brother testicle testaments. Thank you very much for making it number fucking eight whatever it was this morning The love is amazing. Lee is getting fans. He's getting people on twitter. Lee's a good man. Lee's my brother and he's uh Help me with all this shit. We're gonna shoot the special What else we got lee a lot of people keep asking me about the documentary and it's on payloads where I got my balls from You know, lee and I always reference it because when I took lee one of the things I wanted I wanted lee to know where I came from. So we went back and shot it And that's it. I'm having the baby december in january january. I'm gonna tape the special somewhere in los angeles

And I'm gonna have uh like a hundred people come on from twitter because that's all it fits in there You know, so you don't have to pay just come on down Come on out. It'll be in january towards the end. And uh, that's it man. This is a great show today. Lee I'm happy you're part of it on a one day morning. This is great. You got golds today. You got a scary movie We got the sons of anarchy fucking uh alert for next week. What else we got lee? What do you got for these motherfuckers? That's it. I got a since I I said I surprised you yesterday You have a choice uh biggie smalls everyday struggle or fly me to the moon tony bennett How about sympathy for the devil out of respect the rolling stones for the fucking movie we saw

I was thinking about a tremendous song The rolling stones. It was so funny. I was talking to joe as the other guy George you're gonna pay a hundred dollars to go see the rolling stones like fuck that I seen them when they were 40. Why the fuck am I gonna go see it on the 70? I see them when they were 40 at their best So I feel the same way. I don't want to pay a hundred bucks to see the stones. I love the stones But nobody's worth eight hundred dollars right now. Jesus christ. No, no, no, no So we love you guys always we're doing another podcast wednesday. Thank you for downloading Subscribe and leave a fucking comment cocksucker. Even if you hate the podcast

Subscribe and leave if you say joey suck my fat little dick and call me shorty I don't give a fuck at least you wrote something. We we compelled you to write something. Where you at? Where's the music? I'm ready to hit it Out of respect for angel heart Oh, shit Oh shit what? You know the studio burnt down this is our beggars banquet. Did you know that really no fuck? Yeah, the studio burnt down twice or something jewish lightning at his best

I listened to jews didn't have nothing to do with kicking league Dolly oh shit Stop I believe bonnet you gonna do that Eight thousand. All right. Good. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great day. Stay black Get out there and sling dick in a big motherfucking way that goes for you women too swing that fucking pussy Give them a center that monkey. Let them know who runs shit The You