Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #103 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, October 4th..... This episode is called “Maturity & Experience”. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew, DraftKings & CBD Lion….. Go to https://www.BlueChew.com Promo Code: JOEY & Try For Free! Just $5 for Shipping! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $100 in Free Bets when you Bet $1 on any Football Game…. Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY or JOINT For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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because like i said to you from the roll on to the tape to the cream to the to the bath ball i mean they give you no options they give you every option to have cbd line in your life so go to cbd line right now press in joey or joint and get 20 off to live at the house let's get this party started it's monday morning the fourth of october why fuck around so greetings from podcast value bad motherfuckers it's monday october the fucking fourth we did it it's over the movie is out whether you liked it or not i don't give a fuck i had a great time uh it was great to fucking do i had a great weekend i mean the weekend was just

fuck i couldn't ask for a better weekend man i don't even know where i would fit stand up into my life now it's not that you know it used to be i don't have time for shit now i don't have time for stand up it's just it's insane this upcoming week i'm out six nights in a row monday game wednesday game friday game tuesday and thursday kickboxing saturday kids party at night 5 30 fucking party it's a beautiful fucking life man so uh we watched the movie i hope all you guys watched it i hope you had a great fucking week everybody had their fucking opinions and i loved it i listen guys for a guy like me this started in 2000 i remember reading for them and my hands were fucking shaking as i was auditioning my hands were shaking my hands were basically

fucking shaking i remember walking out of there and going i'm i'm never gonna get a roll here i didn't get it i auditioned maybe uh four or five different times for gg to stand up comic i mean it was just and i was bummed out at listen when you get experienced in acting it's a numbers game guys you know it's a numbers game if you go on five auditions you're gonna get three callbacks and you're gonna get one roll that's how i look at it that's my percentages it doesn't usually work out that way sometimes you do ten auditions you don't hear from nobody for fucking seven of them in a row and then the eighth one is a call back the ninth one is a call back and produces and a and the tenth one is they call you back right off the fucking bat it's just numbers so you can't

really when you audition you can't take it home with you and be stressing out for four fucking days because it won't work out for you trust me when i'm telling you i was the king of this the whole thing with life that i just figured out when i was sitting there watching this movie is two things guys it's experience and maturity i wasn't when i first read for the sopranos when i was 42 years old i wasn't prepared for the fucking role there was no way i wasn't ready yet you know one thing i learned from watching that movie in the movie theater wednesday night like i was telling mike i've watched it four times already i watched the screening of it i watched the premiere i watched the screening of it and um union and i watched the screening of it and eat in town the first two

times i watched the movie would just to watch it just to pick it up just to see what the fuck happened and i enjoyed it the first time i did not enjoy it because it was a small screening room i enjoyed it in the theater and i enjoyed in the theater again at the amcs just it was tremendous experience with the folding fucking chairs and you know the whole goddamn thing you have to watch in the theater at home it's not going to work out for you it's just you don't get the full experience from it it's it'll knock it off by 50 fucking percent it's just it's like that with every movie i've seen a bunch of movies and i've done experiments in my head i hate watching movies at home it just doesn't work unless you're alone and even then it's a fucking nightmare

because you got to get up to pee bop bop bop bop bop bop who's not fucking calling you you know that's why i hate going to movies in the daytime because there's business being fucking done so i'm sitting in the movie theater i'm finally settling in i'm finally starting to have a good time and boom my fucking phone goes off and i i don't get up to answer it you know i'll keep watching a movie but now it grows in your head like a fucking weed that why is this guy calling you did something happen that he fall off his fucking skateboard you know you don't fucking know so now you got to get up and that you just missed four fucking minutes for nothing a couple months ago i was at church a friend of mine called me once no problem i'm not going to go outside she called

me again i wonder what the fuck's going on then she called again in 15 fucking minutes i walked outside i'm i'm sweating bullets and something happened to my fucking friend she asked me what do you know about this guy i think i got a crush on him i go you called me three fucking times to tell me that you know so you know you you never fucking know what you're gonna Sunday morning yeah the sunday fucking morning at 11 o'clock she bumped into him sadly at the park and she thought he was cute you know fucking 55 56 years old like me he's fucking cute great so you know you never know what fucking phone call you're answering and shit so i try to fucking keep it simple but that's what i realized while i was watching that movie this movie wasn't based on my years of a year of

comedy this movie came from 23 years of hard work if you're a young comic or a young actor i want you to keep that in mind i want you to keep in mind that if they go to you with a project of this magnitude early on and you book it and you're not prepared and the word gets out you're finished so if you ever book a film like this to this caliber whether it's the longest yard grudge match one thing i learned was i was always prepared you know i'm not an actor by trade i didn't go to russia to study acting with john burnt all you know he didn't he really went to russia i mean he's a bad motherfucker you know alessandro is a bad motherfucker quarry stall is a bad motherfucker do i have to tell you what ray leo there is i mean listen the movie's out now so i could tell you guys about this you

know it's uh it's basically my second day or third day of fucking shooting all right and i don't know if you watch the movie or not we'll break down the scenes real quick for you my first the first scene i basically shot was me in the room when he kicks the tv when dickie multisante that was my first scene and i remember that i was improvising in there if you notice i had no lines i was trying to get a line in you know uncle joey right you gotta get your fucking line in something funny something whatever i i don't know what i said okay but after he kicked the tv and he yelling us i would crack a joke and they were funny we were giggling and shit amongst ourselves you know whatever after about 10 takes 12 takes

because you gotta shoot it from every fucking angle i remember one of the guys coming up to me and going listen just to give you a heads up david don't like it when you improvise stick to the script and that script you have no lines in there there's a reason trust me my feelings didn't get hurt i understand writing i understand the process of writing and i know that with somebody as calculated as david chase it's going to come back later on to be relevant so let me just do what they want to and we'll fucking move the fuck on so we did it but during that scene something else happened that i watched them shoot something in the at the funeral for hollywood dick and i realized that everything was very tight

and then i sat there for a while and i thought of all the episodes that i had watched how the acting was very tight and i go i get what he's trying to do so the second scene i shot was when i asked jr if he's got diarrhea and they put the tv down again i tried to be cute and i'm surprised they kept what am i gonna do with this fucking thing anyway i'm very surprised that was an improvised line my original line was whatever three c's cash that was it but that's that scene when the silence is in the air when we just left there looking at each other i couldn't have that silence but that's what makes david chase the genius that he is he wanted to create that silence so again that was when i caught on that's why that scene is possibly my best scene in the movie

because i was already on board mentally for that so now i had a few days off i went up to milwaukee i went to fucking uh chicago or something milwaukee and something else minnesota minnesota and i come back i got monday off thank god because my body was broken from the week before the late fucking nights in new york and the uh you know the flying so monday i'm off i fucking go to a kickboxing class across the street i take it easy i do some laundry and tuesday i gotta go back in there now it's the second time i meet ray leota so i meet him his trail is close to mine i meet him you know i said i met him at the table read but i see him in the morning i say good morning what's going on big day today it was the scene inside satree house so i go to make up

you know hair about an hour later eat breakfast you know you look at your fucking sheets for the day i go over i'm sitting in the makeup trailer and who's sitting next to me but ray leota you know i'm a good guy guys and i'm a hard worker and even though i knew my shit i just wanted to see how it flow that's what a stand-up does right when you're a stand-up you go home you write your stupid fucking jokes then you go on stage and you're fucking dry him and if they don't work after three times you say fucking back to the drawing board so even with acting if i have lines i want to read him with mike before i do it so i learned maybe there's something i'm missing maybe there's a pause i didn't catch so i said ray do you want to fucking do the lines do you know

this motherfucker just looked at me like he just went and he went back to his makeup i didn't say nothing you know uncle joey i i said maybe he knows his lines better than me maybe he's a method actor i have no fucking idea i'm just gonna run with it right so i go back to my fucking trailer boom makeup call you know put your wardrobe on you're about to shoot we go back it's an early morning fucking shoot i'm sitting there as you guys saw i'm sitting next to ray i got pissed next to me i got paulie on the stove i got somebody in front of me it doesn't matter juniors walking around sylvio's at the phone you know taking numbers we're sitting there and boom the scene starts you know and sure enough i say my line and he has to tell us an archer story

and it's just not working it's not working it's all over the fucking place and the and the scripty girl is yelling at him ray it's this i know ray it's this i know ray it's this i know so now i gotta be honest with you guys i'm starting to get a little pissed off here because i'm the fucking most unprofessional motherfucker i know i'm a comedian i'm a fucking moron and i know that that's a david chase production and i want to be prepared but something i've noticed the last 10 years the fucking every time i go on a set the biggest names they don't know their lines they get so much work thrown at them and it's not their fault listen after a while you're shooting junk for fucking 20 years you know every script sounds the same even though people tell you when do you

read that script that moved me no it didn't it was just a fucking whatever you know what i'm saying so every script sounds the same when i get a job now because of who i am and how i do things because of me i read the script even though it's painful sometimes i read the script with this i couldn't read the script mr chase didn't want you to have a script so you couldn't build an arc in your fucking mind like you always want your character to have some type of arc i didn't build an arc inside my mind but i did once i saw the movie i go jesus christ my arc was fucking okay there you know everything was fine so i think that shit kind of seriously so after like 10 fucking takes even though he's a senior actor and he's done a lot more than me or whatever my feelings were a

little hurt you know i went out there with my fucking hand open and now you don't know the fucking lines you know so i'm like ray what the fuck you know you're supposed to know your fucking lines he's doing the lines he's spitting food and shit so so everybody started torturing like ray what the fuck ray what the fuck you know ray what the fuck eventually he just left he just left it was just us shooting around him there was just a guy sitting there we were just doing the fucking lines it was tremendous but you know it's ray leota it's ray leota it's a david chase production you know you don't want to be rude whatever happened at the table happened at the table we're busting his balls a little bit but we weren't going to say it's not you're

going to get up and go what the fuck this guy didn't know his fucking lines you know what you know that's not what it's all about so we're sitting there later on three four hours late it's midnight that you know that that's changing fucking cameras and shit so you have to break in between usually sit down get a couple fucking hot cocoa maybe get some peanut m&m's whatever an espresso whatever the fuck you're into and i'm sitting there and somebody not me goes what the fuck was up with ray before listen like six people just fell on the floor laughing because nobody was gonna say nothing you know saying like so we had a good fucking laugh we laughed for like 20 minutes people were like what the fuck was that today i'm like i don't know but

don't you know so sure enough we shoot a couple more hours we get we wrap you know we get in the trailer we we change into fucking wardrobe and we're taking a shuttle back into manhattan that drops us off on thirty third and third or thirty six and third it really doesn't fucking matter so we'll head over in the shuttle it's a long day everybody's quiet in the car there was a sweetheart makeup girl that didn't say dick and she was sitting in the back and she goes what the hell was up with ray leota today and we're like why we didn't know what the fuck was up so when i went to see the movie the first fucking time i didn't know what to expect from ray leota now there was two ray leotas as you guys saw i'm sorry about the spoiler alert i thought the second ray leota who

played sal was so fucking brilliant it was crazy let me tell you something else about ray focus on the scene in the very beginning the confirmation scene not when he's showing the priest a picture but when he's sitting there looking straight ahead like a fucking charles manson and karma who's played by nick valolanga comes over and he goes who's that maria lots of pizza and he goes get the fuck out of here you fucking mutt i want you to focus on this face if you're watching on tv and slow it down and watch how when the words come out of valolanga's mouth his face changes before he even delivers the lines that's brilliant fucking acting you know i've been watching this shit for years i love zeroing in on people am i a good actor not

at all i just act very naturally and i play me when i play me it's easy to be you you know what i mean like it don't take no fucking genius when fucking uh joe peshy won the oscar for good fellas it was very easy he was playing him he was playing him when you're playing you like a role that comes to you like that so when i do these movies i'm basically playing me i can't fucking act i'm no actor i know the basics of it i know how to breathe and how to fucking you know my whole stand-up was always written but delivered improvised so you thought it was being said the first time i've worked on being organic like that you know since day one and that's what i was thinking when i was watching this movie how holy fuck it took me 23 years to work to get this movie like it took

me all the 23 years i spent in la to perform the way i did in this movie it wasn't that would have not been that way if i would have just got went to an acting class and i was 35 years old there's no fucking way the reason why i did as well as i did was because everything i did led up to that role if i never work on a feature film again it's fine with me and i said i've said this since i shot the movie because the movie was so high caliber for me that really doesn't matter i'll never be in that great a company again but i'm hoping i will do you know what i'm saying like i'm hoping that now is the start of an acting career and the only way to get an acting career kicking when you're a guy in my position is to close the door on stand-up

nothing happens and nothing happens until you close one door then another one opens you know so we all know that so this is what i'm thinking about right now this is what's been on my mind for the last few months you know i'm not saying i'm done with stand-up but you know you gotta close one door before another one opens and if i want i'd really this is my dream guys to be on some fucking i'd really love to be on lawn on a couple episodes a season i don't want to be a star i don't want to just a little you know i was a big lenny fucking briscoe fucking fan you know i'm a cop fan to have the organized crime show now the show's been on forever if i get on that fucking show i would do whatever three seasons i'd make it to 62 or 63 hopefully somebody shoots

me and i fucking move the fuck on you know i'm saying once again i've been shot into my movies already that's tremendous i was shot and analyzed that in the very beginning and i was shot in this movie you know the difference on the two movies are analyzed that you don't see me get shot with bullets this one you see my head fly off like a fucking pumpkin and it was fucking tremendous guys i remember when i was reading the table read and i saw that i was like god damn it and i wasn't bummed because i was getting shot i was bummed because if you've ever shot a fucking movie or tv show where there's blood involved it's a nightmare when you're getting shot because they shoot you and then there's a Puerto Rican with a bucket filled with like fake blood like

billy goat blood like fucking Carrie and they throw it at you sometimes the blood lands here that means you got to do it over again sometimes the blood hangs in your lands in your eye like when you come in your girlfriend's eyes sometimes it just ricochets and it goes in your eye you got to shoot it over again if the if the blood is in time right you got to shoot it over again so when i saw that scene i go well there we go i'm gonna have to change 15 fucking times one night it sucks dick but you gotta do and you gotta look perfect so they gotta scrub you down put your head back the way it was if it got wet they gotta blow dry it i was like god damn it i'm not looking forward to it like two days before

they were like hey are you looking forward to your big scene and i'm like not really like it's gonna be quick because we're CGIing it i was like holy shit that was fucking tremendous so like two days later i went in there they sat me down they put two lights on my head two lights in front of me one behind me they fucking measured my head yeah it was it was something from another you know and a couple years ago i did mafia whatever the game i don't know yeah i died in that too so that's three fucking deaths in a mafia movie who's better than me nobody cocksuckers but when i did that one that was also an education also because when you do those they just put a black suit on you with light bulbs like these little fucking light bulbs so

i look like the fucking michelin man only with fucking light bulbs all over me it was it was pretty fucking listen man and this is what i'm trying to tell you this is the name of this episode maturity and experience i know a lot of years you know it's like ray leo that said pain comes from one thing sure it does i had that pain that's why i was snorting fucking coke like a fiend because there's nothing more frustrating in life that knowing you could do something and they won't let you do it so you have to step up to the fucking pump what do i mean by step up to the fucking pump you gotta get up and go fuck it this is what i want to do and with me it was always just like oh we can't get you into that movie listen man i've put a thousand feathers in my cap

but one of the feathers that i put my cap was for is not waiting for motherfuckers i don't wait for agents or people like that to fucking do something i asked you one time and while i'm hanging up i'm already planning how i'm gonna fucking reach out to you to enhance the fucking meeting like even know my agent's gonna call i'm gonna call too just to let them know i'm not fucking the fuck around like i've always been one of those guys when i first got to LA for two or three years all the rows i was going for i wouldn't you know i couldn't even get in from them so i said fuck it i became friends with this guy and he told me get me any script and i said good from now on i'm gonna stop putting my own fucking auditions on tape and that's what i did you ready taxi the longest yard

american gangster which then they recast and that's not my fucking fault but i booked it from a tape the other movie with denzel washington that i got cut from inside man doesn't matter i got cut i still sent the fucking tape in you know all these movies i got because i was very aggressive to get them i knew i could cover the fucking spread analyze that i went after that like a motherfucker i sent the tape to her from the mezzos and then bought my own plane ticket to come to new york city i didn't buy it i was broke my friend gave me a ticket i'm fucking one of those airlines one of those economy airlines not spirit but the other one out of denver holy shit they lost my luggage on the way there i had to audition with no fucking clothes and i

still booked it that's mental toughness that's where the maturity comes from and the mother fucking experience what do you think i'm talking about here you fucks so dive in when you believe you get something whether you're a guitar player whether you're a drummer and people are holding you down you ever joined one of those bands and everybody's a fucking lop the one kid's rich so he's got the best fucking uh you know the speaker system and the other guy fucking you know he's like 80 like you ever seen the motley crew movie when the fucking when the the guy is old and he shows up and they hire him you know he's an old guy and he's kind of like fucking he's kind of negative you know you gotta bump you gotta bump into all those motherfuckers but you have to be on the top

of your fucking game always you know that's what i learned about watching this on the big screen that with me listen the agents they make more money putting you on the road than they do in movies they're not gonna put you in movies so i had to fist fight these motherfuckers to put me in that fucking movie like i had to say get me an audition you know i missed fucking uh the englishmen i missed fucking the other fucking movie the irishman the englishman yeah they should make an englishman some english fucking gangsta the englishman it's fucking crazy guys how bad my memory is from time to time and i'm not even high this is why i'm happy i don't get high in the fucking daytime even though i gotta be honest with you guys about something this was a breakthrough fucking week guys

after a year a year of fucking with this anxiety and this fucking feeling and not being sure of myself i am back how do i know i tried it yesterday in between games i flew over here to take a fucking shit and i was like man there's nothing i want to do more than smoke a fucking bowl right now mike gave me a bowl of a lion i fucking filled it up with a little bit of weed just a little bit no fucking keef and i hit it oh i got so nice and fucking high at like 12 o'clock now i was like 135 my heart didn't beat because usually when i get high in the daytime the last time i got high in the daytime was like in june i brought my friends my neighbors some edibles across the street and i had an open bag and i ate a 10 milligram just because they taste good now you and i both

know that 10 milligrams does nothing to your fucking uncle joe you guys know this right well i gotta tell you something my fucking heart went off the fucking scales see what the withdrawing that i had any like them remember the magnesium plus i was the response from me i think that product was great i was resting i was living good i was eating good but every time i took it it set off i don't know what it's called the kindle the phase i don't know this fucking withdrawing terminology but it sets you off a lot of people if you go on those benzo websites and whatnot they'll tell you what medication to take but when you go into deep benzo website they'll tell you don't take nothing because at all like when i eat chinese food holy shit the msp the msg whatever

the fuck it is that shit sets my heart off and running like there was so many things like if i smoked did an edible drank caffeine in the daytime like the morning coffee was fine anything after that would just set me to fuck off there was times i was sitting in my chair and the heart beats were so hard that i could feel my shoulders from the fucking heart going this way and that way i don't i didn't wish this on anybody this was a mistake i made it's not like i was taking pills and drinking with them or getting fucking high you don't get high on those fucking things you just do them to stop your fucking heart beating and my heart just rebounded out of control i'm lucky you know i thought about going to a clinic and sitting there for

like two months and i was like i'm not fucking doing that because everything i read told me that clinics can't help you it's time it's time it's working out it's walking you know i went on there and i took i watched videos on youtube on it and i took a little bit from a lot of people i'll tell you what else helped me a lot i'll tell you what is a fucking great product that i was hooked on when i first got it and then you know through time you switch up uh new mood new mood from fucking on it is it's fucking bailed me out this time listen on it is bailed me out with three of their products on it uh on it alpha brain bailed me out this time that new black label that shit will get your gears running when you see that my gears are running it's because the

fucking alpha brain the new mood at night it helps it helps 10 o'clock with my tea i pop one and and i just started doing this after i saw somebody talking about new mood i was like really all right fuck yeah and the fucking uh the shit that gives you oxygen that's tremendous before working out and the one uh that you take the shroom tech sport and the shroom tech immune before i would go on planes took the proofers in the pudding i would have people go on planes with me and call me the next day i got a cold i'm fine you know so that shroom tech immune was fucking great so these little things that help um i took this thing called calm support a little pricey but fucking tremendous because it's got a lot of great vitamins in it so i i didn't have to

take a lot of vitamins uh you know better help put me on uh she suggested that i go on this certain anxiety medication burp it in i don't know without it you know i'm not good with fucking names that helped you know that helped a lot and uh it's great to be able to focus it's great to not be bummed out anymore it's great that in between the therapy and the medication it all worked out for me and i'm not talking about medication i'm talking about like alpha brain and you know uh cbd lion the fucking 1500 milligram silver label that helped a lot you know i had a lot of help but there was a lot of shit that fucked me up like the magnesium which was a good product these are all great products i bought some vitamins that every time i would fucking take them i would

fly off the fucking chain the cratum i bought from your recommendation some a couple guys recommended the cratum i think i did it four times and i'm two for two on it two times it set me off and running and two times i actually felt pretty fucking good on it so it's all different it's not like i'm gonna you know i didn't want to take something like a lot of people recommend the light oh take a bed so that i don't live i don't want to fucking have to take taper off ever again i don't ever want to do this in fact my knees starting to hurt the left one and i'm not gonna have fucking surgery right away because of those pain pills those pain pills are the worst fucking things in the world i will stand behind behind what i say 150 fucking percent it's like smoking a

cigarette i smoked for fucking eight years when i lived in LA i know it's not good for you uh you know it doesn't take a fucking genius but you want to know how bad it is quit smoking for a year quit smoking for a year and then wake up do what you used to do spark a cigarette up when you wake up and sit there after you take three pups and sit there and go how bad do i fucking feel right now like i feel terrible this is what you're putting your body through every day it's like drinking a coke for breakfast you ever drink a coke for breakfast i did for fucking 40 years there was nothing fuck you an orange juice tropical canner with pulp you could suck the pulp off my nut sack i'm fucking pulp i drank a fuck i used to wake up in the morning crack a

can of coke put it over ice and that's the first thing i drank all day for all you jerk off you gotta drink a cold glass of water go fuck yourself you don't know what life is to you drink a cold fucking coke but you have no idea what that does to your body it destroys your fucking body if you don't believe me look it up just google what would a can of coke do for me before lunch time it sets you off for the rest of the fucking day it puts your blood sugar so fucking high you can't recover did i notice no when i was drinking 82 fucking cokes a day no i was having a good time jumping up and down and shit you know i'm saying i love coke even now sometimes you guys know it you can't eat chinese food with a nice can of coke right you ever try to eat

fu young fucking sushi without a can of coke guess what i do it i sit there with water like a felon and fucking just drink it because that's that's it that you know you can't drink diet coke because that makes your fucking sodium pop up even though friday night i had a couple of italian short spare ribs from fucking the feast guys you don't know what italian spare ribs are until you get one from the feast i'm fine i don't eat spare ribs you guys know me i i used to love spare ribs a fucking poo poo platter and some pork fried rice what what what fucking tremendous but no nothing like that anymore you know i'm 58 i'm an old fucking man so if you're drinking coke in the morning knock it the fuck off and if you're smoking cigarettes when you wake up

knock it the fuck off it's not good for you but i was trying to tell you earlier that this is where i fucking this is what this podcast is about today first of all i've been doing this podcast for 10 years now it's not about me goofing on some fucking little jewish kid it's not about me fucking coming on here and smoking 55 joints it's about you guys watching this to learn something from me to avoid what i went through to i'm giving you the fucking playbook you follow i'm saying to you i'm giving you the playbook for free i don't want none from you motherfucker this podcast is free last i fucking checked you just go on youtube put it the fuck on listen i don't do this because i want to be famous i don't want to do this because i want to be antony robert's i don't want to do

nothing you understand me i want to retire and get my fucking horse and fucking go off into the into the yonder like fucking uh billy ray syris and the skinny black gay kid you know i'm saying they're gonna ride that horse until i ride i can't no more you know i'm one of those guys i'm not looking to be a fucking movie star none of that shit that ship sailed you follow me i'm just looking for you guys to take shit from me and go my uncle joey said it's fucking maturity there's nothing you could do sometimes i know you're an explosive fucking guitar player i saw you you're the next any van halen but what happens when i give you two million dollars are you gonna fucking get a bag of coke and and connor mcgregor me to death then fucking you know fucking you

know become crazy and start tweeting like trump and you know these are the things you have to consider i don't mind you fucking making a hundred million dollars i encourage it anytime one of my friends could fuck the system i'm jumping up and down for you i hate the system as much as you guys fucking do but what good is it getting to that plateau if you can't handle it listen guys if you think i could have handled or went on with my life the last 10 years when i was 35 and i like you guys know they would have found me in a casket already i would have been there with k quickly that night you know what i'm saying yeah you guys think that you know yeah you guys think that i'm fucking better than you guys no i'm not i'm better than you guys because you guys met me when i was 40

something years old 48 years old or something like that if you guys would have met me when i was 33 you would have gone we gotta stay away from that fucking guy what's he talking about the fucks he talking about fucking people and asshole what's he talking about that's what i'm saying to you guys this is all about maturity and what you can handle at a certain time i'm not gonna give you something that you're not gonna be able to handle i'm not gonna give you something that i know in two years i'm gonna get a call that you went off a fucking cliff because you couldn't handle what was given to you it's uh it's it's the truth and it's what i've i've really been proud of that and lose my fucking mind along the way when i lost my mind after the longest yard it wasn't

a popularity contest losing your mind it was losing my mind because i wanted more i wanted more i wanted it to happen i thought that i had done a good job in the longest yard and i wanted something to come my way but again if you think i was ready in 2005 you got another thing coming because that's why i went nuts on the settle longest yard like after three or four months i was telling people to suck my dick there was a couple producers that just did not like me at all and i didn't give a fuck that's why they took me off the posters i told a lot of people that they took me off the posters because big pussy had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend they didn't want me to be confused with big pussy no they took me off the poster yeah because big

poster got arrested for domestic violence oh at the time okay something happened with his girlfriend and they didn't want that to fuck the movie that's what i was told in a way but we all know what really happened i was acting like a fucking jerk off so that's what happens i wasn't prepared for it one thing about the many saints it knew i can listen after today it's done we're moving on i just wanted to wrap it up and do a wrap around on it so you guys know how i stood i wanted to tell you some funny stories from the fucking set but that's it we're not gonna wednesday is a new fucking realm moron i just guys want you to know i'm like i told you guys i think last week um when i came back from new york one night i was packing to go back to shoot

the second leg of the sopranos and i was just putting shit in my suitcase and i said to myself how lucky am i that i got fired when i first read for them in 2003 when i was shooting spider man how lucky am i i would have never been able to handle it even my behavior on the set wouldn't have been good i was on coke you know nothing i would have done coke on the set but i would have walked on that set with the whips of cocaine and with that negative energy that cocaine gives you around just so it would have never worked out so i'm happy and i was happy when i got fired because i knew i wasn't ready for it i didn't want anybody to see me on coke it's okay if i did spider man and the longest yard and all that shit but i'm telling you guys eat grudge

match i was very well behaved by that time i wasn't doing blow i think i was five years clean i think that came out in 2013 yeah so i was about six years clean now it's different i'm 14 fucking years clean and i could just feel it on the set even the night there's a scene i've been looking at like i looked at the last two times i watched it it's when dickie multisante is telling harold uh the african-american drug runner that he's got to leave town he gives them 500 bucks in that scene i was very like after the second time i watched at the premiere i'm like i gotta watch that fucking scene because that's the scene that i was outside smoking dope at four in the morning waiting for my uber to come and they came out and said joey we gotta unwrap you and the girl was like kind of

scared and i was like jesus thought i fucked around i didn't give a fuck i wanted my behavior and my performance to be perfect on this so i said fuck it listen i don't know if you know when they unwrap you you gotta put your whole wardrobe on if it was a pair of hot pants and a bra i wouldn't have fucking minded but it's shoes italian socks all the way up to your fucking knees you know those can see through socks pants suspenders a white shirt a vest a jacket my hair it was 20 minutes just to prepare me by the time i walked back in it was the scene where he's telling them to go and they shoot over his shoulder so they felt they could still see me in the shot if you look at it i don't even pop the fuck up so there's a waste of fucking time it usually is none of the 10 times

that i gotta see it does nobody even cares but i remember walking in that night and fucking around with them and going this is the most unprofessional fucking thing i've ever been involved in in my life you guys for calling me back and me for being high and we all just fucking laughed and had a great time and that was the thing like i told people you know i'm not really uh big on acting like i those long days and the attitude of some actors and shit you gotta fucking sit them down and tell them listen how about i fucking stick the camera up your ass some of them have a weird none nobody had a weird attitude on this fucking set you know i haven't had maybe the last three sets i've been on four sets it's been great i did a movie a couple years ago with alex balvin and a bunch of fucking

stars it was an ego festival and you could smell the shit in the fucking air i didn't want to be there alex balvin was getting me fucking upset but this was uh everybody on this movie was fucking great guys i'm and i'm fucking happy that a lot of you guys enjoyed this film i put everything i got into this fucking film i don't expect there's no expectations in my life on what's gonna happen or what's not gonna happen like when i did the longest shot i was waiting for the phone to ring i don't care if the phone rings or if it doesn't ring like i said i just want a little gig on law and order if they want to put me in the cop show i'll be a detective i'll be a detective at the fucking uh at the jail i'll be a criminal on law and order organized crime that's what i want

to do right now if some movies come along i'm all in you know i'm enjoying the fucking podcast i'm starting to loosen up now so now i think we're fucking home you know it took a fucking year to take this stick out of my ass with the fucking uh the mind of depression the fucking this was all new to me you know uh so you know we're shooting with fucking iPhones you know it's a big fucking different world i was thinking of switching this fucking studio around for the anniversary and making some things different but we'll see how that goes i'm not really in uh in the mood right now i got a lot of my fucking plate especially this week but that's what i wanted to talk to you guys about today maturity and experience now tell you what made me fucking want to talk to you guys about

this last night i watched an academy award-winning film i don't know if it won academy award but it's an academy award-winning film in my fucking world i watched the film boogie nights you know and really that movie has always hit home with me it was based in uh you know in a period between like 78 and 85 which were my fucking troublesome years you know um there's a scene in there that just bothers me because it reminds me of me when the redheaded chick that plays in the Hannibal elect i forget what her name is when she goes to the child court and they won't give her a kid because she's involved in prostitution or pornography and drugs anybody who knows that cuts deep with me you know that scene resonates with me a lot and the other scene is when

fucking marky warburg and c riley and the other guy go to the fucking uh dr octopus's house have you ever seen that movie fuck when they go to dr octopus's house to rob him and he's got the little chinese guy lighting firecrackers and he keeps drawing them up in the air and they're trying to rob them and the tension is building up and if that's not enough every fucking four minutes you hear bah bah bah bah and they're trying to talk and they're like bah and they keep looking at the whole chinese guy when they want to talk and bah the chinese guy makes a little fucking firecracker again then the kid's sitting down just snaps and he goes i want what's in your safe i want it all on the floor safe and they start shooting at each other guys do you know

how many fucking nights i went to a party at a drug dealer's house and that's how the night ended with people running out because there was a guy shooting because we were gonna rob him or somebody was gonna rob him oh my god i remember when i lived in north bergen in in 83 before i went to colorado there was a guy that would invite us over his house every friday night and he would just keep putting on coke putting on coke putting on coke putting on coke it was ugly and then he would try to impress the girls we brought with us so he would start taking jewelry start taking jewelry out all his jewelry and we clocked him as a fucking cop real like this guy is a cop when i gotta fuck with him which i'm gonna stop coming up here and sure enough i'm in colorado somebody tells me the

guy is dead somebody killed him i one of those fucking parties i was like thank god i don't live there anymore because i would have been getting the fucking blame for this that's how you and you know what the guy wasn't fucking undercover cop people got arrested and it wasn't a good situation when i was in colorado there was a guy up and asking that would have parties it was a gay guy you know he wasn't really gay he wasn't everything eating pussy getting his ass whole fucked he just was one of those dudes that the cocaine would make him go crazy sharing out one of him and his but i had gone up there a few nights you know i wasn't great friends with the guy but i had a friend that was mutual friends with him i went up there a couple

nights you know that one night he was snorting coke with his fucking buddies and one of the buddies went in the room came out with a fucking machine gun and shot him up like 10 000 fucking times with a gun for no reason for no reason so the fucking early 80s late 70s were nuts because the cocaine would be fucking going into your mind and you know all of a sudden somebody would take out a piece somebody would take out a BB gun somebody would take out something but if anything pops out in that movie at me it's just what i went through that dark shadow of fucking i mean the movie smells like cocaine they lose their mind the fucking Bert Reynolds character fires marky wallberg they're so coked out and so fucking delusional that they're trying to form a band

it is the worst music in the world it's like we will rock you we will row you we will show you i'm like oh my god this is terrible and they're arguing with the fucking studio producer because they're telling the guy that unless he pays for the studio time they can't take the tapes and see Riley's explain to the guy that if he doesn't have the fucking tapes he can't get the money from the studio i mean it was like a drug conversation if you've ever been a junkie you know you've had those conversations i'm looking at this shit going that was me right there that was fucking me that drug fucking mind of always trying to get a little bit over on people you could just get a little over on people if they sell you a gramma coke but

you could squeeze them for a tentacoke you feel good about yourself that's the addiction so i'm watching this last night i'm like Jesus fucking Christ i watched it all the way to the end till it takes this fucking dick out for a white dude he had like a 20 inch fucking thick fucking machine gun looking dick it was disturbing but i did it and i enjoyed the fucking movie i don't like i said i only was i didn't want like some philip seymour hoffman's in it but rentals is in it the fucking guy gets shot in it from fucking that one show on showtime i mean he shoots himself because his wife's a fucking dirty whore she's fucking a bunch of guys but i mean nothing reminds me more of the 80s and what i went through than that movie so that was a great movie to watch on this wrap up because

it showed me how far i came in my fucking life i'm very proud of what i did on the many saints and new work i know a lot of people got a panic that's got nothing to do with me they got nothing to do with my fucking dream and they don't know what i went through for me it was like i said 23 years went into this movie so i was as prepared as can be so when you watch and you go fucking joy was pretty good in this movie say yeah but he prepared himself for 23 years so for you young actors and you young comics it doesn't happen overnight keep working take every course that you can i took every cold reading course i took every acting course i took everything that i can investing yourself the investment paid off with a high level fucking movie that was a high

level payment and it just didn't happen because i was joe jerk off it happened because i was a student of the game stand up acting wise i study movies i study performances so just this movie and this podcast you'll let you know that if you work hard something will happen the universe will fucking reward you and that's what happens when your maturity and your experience take over a situation i love you motherfuckers are on my heart ice cream shop is stocked up with laughing gas and it's better than fucking ever better than ever that new crop is fucking killing motherfuckers because i've had like three or four of my friends call me so they're back on you go there today monday and copy your fucking self beside that it's a fucking beautiful month to be alive

the leaves are changing my dick is bigger than ever and we're all ready to fucking rock i love you motherfuckers thank you for the support thank you for the support on the many saints and we're done with the many saints we're on to the next fucking mind fuck i'll see you motherfuckers wednesday tip top magoo ready to rock and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsor jack stay black all right you bad motherfuckers thank you very much for listening today listen to many saints was great it's over now i wanted to tell you a couple funny stories so we can move the fuck on but real quick the join is brought to you by bluetooth why fuck around with that half loaded cock it's the lord's day cock suck it's monday it's time for you to go out there

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