Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #107 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, October 18th..... This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, Better Help & CBD Lion….. Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $200 in Free Bets when you Bet $5 on any NFL Game…. Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH For 20% OFF Your Order! Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIAZ Use PROMO CODE: DIAZ for 10% OFF your 1st Month! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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go to cbd lion read all about cbd cbn cb y get back to me if i was you i'd start off with the gummies go to cbd lion make an order and press in joey or joint or church and get 20 off delivered right to your fucking house you can't beat that how long you're gonna wait to give this a shot today is the day go to cbd lion calm right now press in joint joey get 20 off any of the tremendous products delivered to that the house all right i love you cocksuckers let's get this fucking party started what's happening you bad mother fuckers it's monday the 18th we're here for another fun filled episode of uncle joey's joint i hope you all had a great weekend everything worked out for

you i had a great weekend you know same shit nothing changes the week was a little fucking weird some things happened socially in our lives that we need to discuss today because it's getting too fucking uh it's getting too fucking woke out there and the shit that happened this week really as you guys know i do not like when people bring up shit from 20 years ago that's just wrong because people change let's just talk about life right now in the last year how much have i changed right before your eyes how much have i changed people change constantly their thoughts their opinions on things you know when i was a kid i hated cats i just fucking hated cats i see a cat i throw a rock at it now i got fucking cats i love fucking cats you know but uh if it ain't

one thing it's the other in our society nowadays but we're just getting too fucking woke i noticed it when i left los angeles that there had been a just a a fucking change you know for starters let's talk about john gruden you know listen i i'm not a raider fan i'm not a fan anybody i'm a fan of fucking life okay they were doing an investigation into the washington redskins they went through emails supposedly this is what i read and heard and they fucking found the emails of him going back and forth one of the coaches the general managers i don't know exactly what is i don't want to say it before i get myself in trouble and they found these emails with him talking about uh you know roger godel and fucking uh talking about some player in the league that had big lips or something

like that listen it's wrong i get it i get what we're trying to do here but i don't think firing him was really a fuck you know and i don't know what's happened to people that they've lost their balls you know like you know al davis his son is the fucking car he you know he's the president i guess i don't know exactly what happened i know he got fired i know it was against the nfl policies and stuff like that but when he sent the emails he wasn't even working for the nfl now let's take a look at his situation he's an nfl coach now i don't know what do you think at home 60 percent of the nfl is african-american he's been a fucking coach with the raiders tampa bay and then went back to the raiders if he was racist in any way don't you think one of the players would have said it

after all these years i've seen him on that i'll get african-american players and joking around with them and you know i've been watching them for fucking i don't know 20 fucking years i don't know then he coached tampa bay early on you know i watched him then i used to i met him on the world uh the best damn sport show when he was uh coaching tampa bay and uh he seemed like an alright guy i mean i don't know i don't know what people do behind closed doors and i understand it was behind closed doors and it was a joke i've made many off-color jokes many off-color jokes over the year but i have a past so just when when that first started with the fucking uh the uh supreme court justice that dude that put it covered a girl's mouth 20 years ago at a party

but didn't do nothing to her where is she today what did she get out of raising her hand 20 years fucking later and what do you get from raising your hand 20 years later from my behavior then obviously you don't think i corrected it over the years obviously you don't think that even me for example the other day i was at my friend's house the pumas and i was walking back and there's a fucking amazon guy and he's an african-american kid and he's got the fucking volume blasted in the rap car in the car and he's playing that fucking rap music the real slow one i don't i don't know i like old school rap nars and all that stuff this is something new and the guy keeps saying you know the n word over and oh and it's loud in my neighborhood you know it's fucking loud i remember

walking and going you know what nothing bothers me more than that shit nothing bothers me more than that shit and you guys know i love cracking jokes and nobody is sacred the french african-americans chinese you know i was thinking about when mike came in for that you know what it's getting cold out there the temperature dropped to like 62 to open up you know it just dropped a couple you know last week the last three weeks it's been opening up at 70 all of a sudden today it went down to 60 fucking two is it cold out no but you could feel the chill in the air i said to mike just you know i didn't even think about it guys fuck there's nip in the air you know and right away you're like wow i can't even fucking say that no more i didn't mean it in a bad way there's nip in the air nip is a

uh uh you know racial slur if you want to use it like that so no pun intended i mean it's getting a little nippy in the air that's it but even saying something like that somebody might look at you and go joey you're wrong for saying that okay you know i won't say it if it means not saying it i won't say it to to to make you fucking happy but there's another side to this coin so we'll get to that in a second here but i've never liked that that you could go to somebody after 12 years i think there would be a better way to handle this i think i think charles gruden i think gruden i think i would have made him do an apology i think i would have had him uh take classes for awareness or something two classes talk to somebody i don't know if you guys remember

about 10 years ago raffi may went off on some indians i don't know if you guys remember that you know raffi always went off on everybody the russians the indians he went off on american indians if you knew anything about raffi he was a sweetheart and i got to be honest to you it was a fucking joke it was a joke you know some chief of the tribe took it seriously they cancelled this gig did they cancel them no you know what the chief wanted to do educate them so they set up a meeting with raffi they spoke to him they explained to him where they were coming from and everybody moved on he made a little contribution and everybody moved on nobody got their fucking feelings hurt you know when you

do something like this i'd rather you get whoever the group is and explain to us how these things are hurtful i don't know if you guys know about this but i'm telling you that hope he doesn't get mad at me years ago tom segura said something on one of the specials you know they didn't pull a special down what they did was they set up a meeting between the president of the special olympics and tom to educate him on how the word retard affects people when you say it now what you do with that is your choice you know when you go home you go you know what i choose not to say retard anymore or i'm gonna keep saying fucking retard that's it that that's it educate me on why it's wrong and we can move forward

and then it's my decision whether to say it again or not to say it again you know whatever this type of shit happens it makes the net my neck can't stand up it really fucking does because i've had a pass but i know where i am today and you know what don't say that oh well joey that's you know i know a lot of people who've changed like i've seen it now i've been gone for 30 fucking years i've been gone since 1990 fucking three i come back here and i see friends of mine and i ask about them or whatever and they've changed they've turned their lives around whatever they used to do they don't do no more you have to evolve as a human being that is very important i try to evolve as much as i fucking can you know sometimes i can't but you try you try to

fucking change you look at yourself and go i could be this much better today you know for me it was the drugs i had to get off the fucking cocaine and every and i knew it made me a better person and then after i got cleaned and my mind got right because when you're on drugs your mind is not fucking right so after i got off the drugs i thought about all the things i had done over the years and i fucking you know changed them around to the best of my ability that's all you could do and you have to be very honest with yourself to do something like that to actually sit down and go dog i've been fucking up with this shit lately i have to reinvent myself you know i have to fucking reinvent myself that's what it's all about so for the Charles Gruden thing that and

Charles Gruden uh Gruden whatever his name is John Gruden or whatever the fuck his name is you know they took his fucking so because he said something 13 years ago or nine years whatever the fuck 2012 i think it was we're gonna take him down off the ring we're gonna take him off a fucking sports game we're gonna just fucking chastise him who the fuck are we to do that as americans that's what this is this is america the land of fucking opportunity and now we're taking food out of people's mouths yeah Gruden will be back in a year a year and a half on some sports network as an analyst but that's a year and a half that he has to stay in this house with the fucking shades drawn because somebody wasn't happy with what he said 12 fucking years ago i don't i don't agree

with that guys and my heart goes out to the african-american community and my heart goes out to the gay community for the whatever he said but at this at the same time it was a joke have we forgotten what a fucking joke is have we forgotten i mean we've just forgotten that somebody's saying a joke now the other thing that happened that was fucking uh bad was the dave chappelle thing now you guys know where i stand with this and as far as all that shit goes you've got the wrong motherfucker you really do have the wrong motherfucker i can't tell you in so many ways how you got the wrong motherfucker now before we get this fucking curtain of this started i'ma stand up i read the book lennie bruce ladies and gentlemen lennie bruce and that's what led me to that career

yes i had been into richard prio over the years and yes i was a fan of stand-up you know i was a fan of uh the white dude the crazy i was a fan of whatever you know i read a book and i decided to get into stand-up comedy when i started stand-up comedy i was given advice you're giving a lot of advice and people tell you not to do this not to say this to be clean you know sinbad spoke to me when i started all these guys joey you're talented you don't have to be dirty no you have to be whatever your heart calls for so let's get this straight when i first got on that stage i went out there to be the best entertainer i could be i did not want to use curse words and stuff i went out there with a suit on i comb my hair i you know i did i did as much as i could to be a regular entertainer at

that time it was lennie clark i saw lennie clark with a suit on do the rodney special and i lost my mother fucking mind i knew i had to be part of that so okay i tried stand-up comedy for like nine months in the beginning and i bombed being clean and i went to my go-to i went to me being dirty that and all my life since i heard richard pryer i was dirty i loved speaking that shit i loved it blah blah blah blah i got into stand-up comedy now before i got into stand-up comedy i read a lot about it i read as much as i could biographies i watch videos i ask questions now the anatomy of stand-up is how your world your world collides with the rest of the fucking world how your world collides with the rest of the world that's the that's the the smallest equation for comedy

if you come to me and you pay me and you go joey i need for you to coach me tell me what's the meaning of comedy it's how my world collides with the rest of the world okay i'll give you an example i have a child okay when i was a kid i fucking suffered a lot with my allergies i was allergic to dogs and i was allergic to maple fucking syrup okay in my house you know i had dogs my mother had a dog at the dry cleaner when i was a kid the people next door to me had fucking dogs it felt like i was surrounded by dogs all the time i got bit by dogs fucking eight or nine times i got bit in the face i got bit in the leg i got bit in the hand it doesn't fucking matter here i liked dogs i would pet a dog and my eyes would swell and my nose would leak and my throat my throat would

shut and i would end up in the fucking hospital uh fucking maple syrup you know how can you tell a fucking kid he's allergic to fucking maple syrup when i came from cuba my mother used to make you know rice with eggs on top fucking steak with eggs on top pure fucking disgusting shit it's good but it's fucking disgusting you know the egg the steak with the egg on top where walk how are you with the white rice and you break the fucking yolk over the steak and it drips on to the meat and the rice i don't know it just it just doesn't work for me guys so all of a sudden i went to like school or something somebody turned me on to a fucking pancake i put the fucking syrup on it like in the first grade and next to you know i'm dizzy i'm passed out and i'm in a fucking

ambulance going to some hospital my mother's meet me up this is a true fucking story guys and then they told us we were allergic to maple syrup the sweetness and then something happened with honey when i was a kid and i got fucking taken to the hospital again i was a mess when i was a kid i was allergic to all that shit okay it was fucking horrible you know what it is to fucking i i still remember being in my first summer camp like you know where you go and do push-ups and jump off a diving board and all that shit i still remember going and them giving us pancakes for breakfast and me like you know what do you think there was an alternative fucking menu in those days what do you think like you could call ahead and say i want a vegan menu

fuck you there's hot dogs and fucking it was hot dogs for lunch and pancakes for breakfast that's it there was no scrambled eggs there was no toast there was fucking nothing so i had to go there in the mornings and i eat the fucking uh you know i love syrup i love the fucking taste of maple syrup who the fuck doesn't but between two minutes my eyes will get red i'd start blinking my throat would shut it was a fucking nightmare so we decided my mom and i sat down one day like when i was six and we decided joey listen my mother was old school cuban she told me to fucking just go and play with the fucking dogs but after i play with the dogs i keep washing my hands wash your hands wash your hands and after you wash your hands well wash your face so it doesn't

and you know what guys it worked it worked i was telling my neighbors they have a dog named molly a short hair pit and i go these are the dogs that would this little hair would get into my fucking nose and i'd go off the boundary you know they couldn't even believe it they're like and you're allergic to dogs the other day i went over there was sitting on their porch she was sitting on my legs and i'm fucking patina she's a great dog i'm patina and frank looks at me he goes you're really allergic to dogs i go listen we worked on it we just we played with so many dogs that we broke the allergy today today 2021 i eat pancakes three times a year not fucking two stacks not three stacks one with a little bit of syrup a little bit of butter i eat it and nothing happens

that's the most i can handle it's three maybe four times there's a little breakfast place called fucking stacks close to my house holy shit they make nutella pancakes they make fucking uh banana pancakes with little bananas on top and it tastes like banana cream pie i mean i'm not into that sweet shit but i've tasted them fucking delicious my point being that i overcame that fucking my allergies my mom forced me to overcome these allergies circle back to 2010 2011 2012 who the fuck knows i don't fucking know um you know uh no 2013 i put my daughter in school my daughter's born and a year later with you know three months later we're in daycare whatever whatever the fuck it was we try to to get a social skill so it had to be like 2015

i find out one day that i can't bring peanut butter she can't pack peanut butter to the fucking school i nearly lost my mind my mind almost fucking blew the fuck up because i'm like what are you talking about now like yeah because if other kids are allergic to peanuts so what do i have to do with my fucking kid if my kid's not allergic to peanuts what's it have to do with that so i fucking never thought about it again then one day i was taking a flight from like LA to san diego and fucking uh there was no peanuts i'm stoned to the gills i'm looking forward to these fucking peanuts and that's the day southwest don't put out the fucking peanuts now am i a peanut dude you know i like peanuts i like peanuts and a snickers bar

i like a couple things with peanuts but i got on the fucking plane that day and i'm looking forward to these peanuts and these goddamn pretzels for some reason i'm looking forward to the fucking peanuts and boom there's no peanuts i asked the lady i go what's going on with the peanuts see i'm sitting here like fucking patience on a monument she says to me there's no peanuts today we have one passenger that's allergic to peanuts i was blown the fuck away guys i was like what the fuck are you talking about so because one mother fuck is allergic to peanuts i can't eat my fucking peanuts what the fuck is the world coming through so right away i went home what stand-up comedy how your world collides with the rest of the fucking world so right away i went home and i had to write

a fucking bit on this i went online i read about this fucking peanut allergy and i was blown the fuck away and i read a bit i wrote a bit on a fucking simple thing of peanut allergy now the kid give him a fucking peanut he ain't gonna die he's gonna go to the hospital you know he'll probably swell up blah blah blah let me tell you something i have said some disgusting things on stage i have mugged hookers on stage i have fucking crawled in windows and eating pussies on i've said some disgusting things on stage never have i gotten off stage and somebody said to me hey man we didn't like that joke it was inappropriate i talked about a chick pissing on me 20 years i talked about tons of shit nobody ever pulled me aside and said joey this is inappropriate do you

know how many times i got pulled aside from that fucking peanut joke every fucking show when i would take pictures of people some some sort of parents will come up to me and go hey man we you were funny we really enjoy you we like the podcast we like what you're doing we like what you stand for but the peanut joke was offensive as fuck we have a child that has a peanut allergy and he could die i don't know if you understand the whatever is of this and i would get turned off and in my mind time to go fuck themselves like just give them that look like take a fucking hike with your little fucking faggy peanut kid you know what's it got to do with me you're gonna come beat me up on a fucking saturday night or a fucking joke so but eventually you know i i kept taking my

daughter to school i kept hearing from fucking people whatever it was just a joke i i get it but that stupid fucking joke right there caused me so much fucking heartache how many people come at me after the fucking show i would get emails about it i would get facebook messages about it you know what it was a simple fucking joke you know i stopped saying and i shot a special i put on the cd whatever who the fuck knows what happened but the bottom line is it was just a fucking joke you know and i really learned from that joke on how people could get hurt now with the same thing for me discovering all these things because i listen when you don't have a kid you don't know anything about these things like and i'm sure you know you guys are young listening

you're like joey i know about peanut allergies i know because you had it but when i was growing up there was no fucking peanut allergies no kids had a fucking peanut allergy so trust me this is something that's taking me by fucking storm the same thing again a tip a bad subject to bring up but we're gonna bring it up who gives a fuck transsexuals transvestites whatever the fuck listen i don't they don't bother me at all i could care less i had i've had three dear friends in my life that have been transgenders or had the operation and we had fun we laughed about it it was phenomenal i had one up you know reader oh me and josh wolf have spoken about it repeatedly she used to carry her old dick in a jar you know this chick had the sexual yeah yeah it was it

guys you have no idea how we had tons of conversations now years ago it started with i found out at cofax elementary in la where we started talking about switching governments where we started talking about you know uh gender reveal parties and all this stuff listen i'm from the 70s you know i can't wrap my head around this stuff about a little boy one day waking up and coming to me and saying i think i'm a girl this is tough guys this is tough to wrap your arms around you know especially as a parent do i think that one day my daughter's gonna come to me and go you know what then cut the pussy out i'm slinging dick like you i want to be a fucking boy i would i would be in shock i wouldn't really know how to handle it i would have

to do a lot of reading on it i would have to do a lot but i've never heard of this before i have never heard this is something that you know i'm 58 fucking years old and i started hearing about this when i was 50 and now they're gonna put it into the school systems and whatnot and as a parent you're sitting there going do i want my child exposed to this anyway to make a long fucking story short this week the dave chappelle the special came out closer you know i didn't even know he had shot another special i didn't know it was his last special on uh netflix i knew nothing about it before we get into this conversation do me a favor now for a word from our sponsor we'll be back in 60 minutes the joint is also brought to you by better help online therapy

going to therapy is routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness to prevent bigger issues down the road i didn't know this till i started working with betterhelp.com listen dana is my girl she's talked me through this thing for the last month and i feel that much better i went to them and asked them if they needed if they were working with sponsors and podcasts because i wanted you guys to know how much it helped me going to therapy doesn't mean there's something wrong with you guys it means you're investing in yourself to keep your mind healthy better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much

more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist and under 48 hours why invest in anything else and not your mind this podcast is sponsored by better help and joint listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash joey that's better help dot com slash joey and now let's go back to the podcast listen i love uh i love uh what do you call that shit better help so if you're having a little problem if you got a little hang on the nail on the fence hang on the fence or whatever i suggest you go to betterhelp.com but anyway back to what we were fucking talking about here this week the dave chappelle special got released i didn't know he had another special you know like i said guys i've been my head's been somewhere

else i turn the computer one morning and all i'm reading is about dave chappelle how he insulted people the second day i fucking open up the computer and it's all over the place dave chappelle's getting canceled blah blah blah he got a standing ovation at the hollywood bowl so i said fuck it i'm a stand-up i'm a human being let me watch this special to see what i think about and see what all the fuss is about okay here you go it was a very good special they did a very good job i like the stories like how he presented the material he told some lgb2 btq stories on there about a friend of his that died and the baby and all this stuff guys listen this is where i'm coming from with this uh i know some people are not

going to sit right with this and i know some people are going to agree with with me we're going to attack this from two perspectives okay number one perspective dave is a comic what's his job to be funny what's his job well some comics jobs some not mine some are to kill society not kill society but explain to you in a funny way the wrongs of society what's going on in the world today with a funny twist to it what's happening and again the main thing a comic supposed to be doing up there is explain to you how his world collides with the world you live in so if you take all that into consideration dave hit it out of the park he did a phenomenal job okay that's what a stand-up comic is supposed to do there's a downside to this

dave is at the top of the world right now okay when you're in the top of the world you're a lightning rod it's like being a mafia boss everybody's coming to you that's why for the last 20 years you have a boss and a street boss because the street boss is getting hidden by the boss of the family the feds everybody's concerned with the boss of the family in this case it's society everybody's concerned with what the top comic has to say he is the top comic in the country by enough by a fucking mile okay nobody could even touch him he's saying what affects him which is the lgbtq stuff whatever but dave is also being cute right now so dave dave's comedy aptitude is off the fucking chain my comedy aptitude is not that great that

was why i was never a great comic i was a funny comic i knew what i was doing i could bang it out with anybody but my comedy aptitude as far as being well read as dave or joe rogan for that matter or bill burr i'm more of a life comic like i like talking about what's in my life what affects me you know there's people that'll take the subject out of the newspaper and write a brilliant bit about it but it doesn't affect them i spoke i speak about things about my life i'm more of a storyteller and that's just me i don't want to get into that right now what i'm getting into dave chappelle is cute he's very smart his comedy aptitude is smart and listen man when you do a special you're looking for them to talk about that special and how do you get people to talk about

a special to talk about stuff that's on the other side that nobody else will touch now he's been doing it on a couple specials you know he's been hitting them with the fucking lgbtq jokes which means obviously it's a big hang in his mother fucking fence like if i ever was to do stand-up comedy i would talk about what's going on now with the schools what they want to teach you know what affects me directly what's gonna fucking affect me yeah i'll tell you some stories shit that's gone on the last year shit that's been funny to me whatever blah blah blah but no this whole thing stand-up is we're a conduit and in that conduit if it goes if this is the conduit when it comes in here it's rough when it comes out it's like a trumpet we're just blowing it out

in a different way with a little bit of fucking humor that's all we're doing now netflix got a lot of complaints netflix you know they're demanding that they take the special down number one my heart goes out to the lgbtq community i understand but we're going around about this all wrong okay not we i'm not part of the lgbtq community i'm just saying that they're going about this all wrong there was a way to go around this you know the employees listen the world has changed you know uh employees getting suspended employees getting whatever i don't agree with that that was just wrong i'm both parties that was wrong on both parties but we're talking about money here you're not going to get in front of money with your feelings nobody

in today's world right now with the greed that's going on there was supposed to be a strike today there was supposed to be a strike over the weekend uh the international theaters electricians caterers grips all this shit you know it was scary that would be a fucking scary strike because all the networks wouldn't have been able to work except hbo cinemax showtime i forget what the list was that would have been fucking scary for us right now you know especially after the 18 month lockdown we know the rent whatever it would have been fucking scary for people mandates now with this shit so they settled it i just when i woke up sunday morning i saw that they they settled it the last fucking minute i don't even know how this transpired into this but what i was trying

to say is you know we work things out we have to work things out number one i'm tipping my hat and i know i'm gonna anger a lot of people when i say this i'm tipping my hat to the president of fucking netflix i'm tipping my hat that's what you're supposed to do you're supposed to stand by your product you're supposed to stand by your decision i'm sure dave said some stuff about murdering the transvestite or beating up the transgender or the lesbian listen what about when i said i did coke with my cat did you really fucking go home and think that i did coke with my cat sometimes an over exaggeration is what makes the joke funny do you understand me the over exaggeration of it makes the joke funny i never to the line i i never did

coke with that fucking cat i had a 10 minute bit i wrote an imaginary story an imaginary of me doing cocaine with my cat people would laugh people love the fucking bit nobody ever complained to me it was a bullshit joke that's part comedy has so many different aspects to it you make fun of it you exaggerate it you fucking you know so that's what this is all about now i'm sure dave being dave and the mind of the comic listen the mind of the comic i'm gonna tell you what happens with a comic for you to be a successful comic and i have a lot of comics on my patreon now ties a lot of young comics i'm gonna tell you something and this goes from musicians also okay any great musician anybody who broke through anybody who broke through on a comedy level anybody breaks

through on the arts they broke through because they went against the mold they went against the status quote they went against what they were told you're not going to make moves by going up there and giving them what the fuck they want years ago i heard a great story and i patterned my and i'm happy i'm happy i heard this story when i was in the comedy two years what three years in denver kevin Fitzgerald dear friend of mine i've gone back to this story 10 times this week talking to people was doing a spot at the comedy works he was opening up not opening up you know if you know anything about the comedy works it's a couple different comics and then the headliner goes up that's why it's a hard club to work because you have to follow eight headliners

that's why a lot of people are like fuck i'm not working the comedy works you have to follow she takes the comics that are home the headliners that are home from Tuesday to Thursday and puts them up there and you have to follow them so anyway he was one of the many comics he just happened to be going up before bill hicks he brought up bill hicks for the first show great show nobody complained there was a second show bill hicks's road uh manager went up to him and said listen kevin uh mr hicks does a similar marijuana joke this is your brain on drugs this is your brain on maro whatever he goes you know it would be great if you didn't do that joke kevin Fitzgerald looked him in the eye and said i won't do it and went on stage and did it

when he got off stage the guy tried to muscle him and when bill hicks got off stage he hired him as an opener and kevin Fitzgerald ended up going up on the road with bill hicks what a fucking honor that is i wouldn't shut up about it when if i got to open up for bill hicks and got to be schooled by bill hicks i just walk around my dick out like fucking uh like uh my man brett pit after legends of the fall forget about it just take your dick out who gives a fuck but if if bill hicks hired you after he told you not to do something what does that mean that is what makes a comic tick if you tell me before i go on stage not to say that joke i'm gonna say it how many people watch fresh out of compton you watch fresh out of compton when they went to detroit what the

mother fucking guy tell him don't do any police don't do fuck the police what did they do they went up there and did fuck the police that's what we do that's what makes us different that's what makes you cut through that's what when people hear things like that they go okay that's my fucking guy he didn't fucking adhere to what they told him he didn't he didn't give a fuck you know and i don't know if you guys remember this why did davis chappelle walk away from the 50 million dollar deal from comedy central did you ever think of that because when you're in the tv business first off davis chappelle's been doing this since he was fucking 13 years old in the city okay so it's like me i've been doing this since i was fucking 25 if tomorrow cbs called me and said we want you to

do a show about bookies okay and you're playing one of the bookies and after two weeks at no after the first season the show is a success what's the success it's done great numbers people like it it's eight o'clock show whatever what if they come to me after three years and say and they go hope we got new show runners we got new people working at the network and what if you let's say you're 35 years old i'm just asking you a general question to think about this on a monday fucking morning what if you were uh if somebody came to you and you had a successful hit and some kid from cbs came to you that just graduated syracuse with no television experience just what they taught him in college maybe a year and he got promoted to be the liaison between cbs and you

and he's coming to you saying to you yeah this is what needs to be done on this show you need to do this you need to do that you need to do this eventually one day you're gonna go time out no disrespect to you you just graduated college you don't even know what the fuck we're doing here i've been on a fucking street corner popping jokes on in clubs since i was 13 years old i've gotten through fucking 18 abc deals dave chappelle paid his fucking dues okay they tried to put him on tv like 20 fucking times with their ideas and they couldn't get him on tv with their ideas so finally dave chappelle and neil brennan created the fucking dave chappelle show and what happened with his own brand because they wanted to do what they wanted to do with dave they was on tv

for years i don't know if you guys know that dave was on a tv show with that fucking dude i forget what his name is now they were trying to do things with dave i started in comedy in 91 when i came to new york in 93 dave was the golden fucking goose already i still remember going to boston comedy club and seeing him felicia nick tutorial jay more and going wow yet he was in that movie robin hood men and tights fucking great movie you're not gonna he fucking walked away from 50 million dollars because you're not gonna tell me how to do my fucking job and guess what guys i feel the exact same way nobody's ever gonna tell me and i've had a thousand arguments over this one of the reasons why i've taken a breather from comedy like that i did because i'm coming back but i'm doing it

my way not the way the agents wanted to not the way the promoters wanted to not the way the fucking comedy club because they don't fucking know we're the ones that are busting off fucking ass so yes i'm very fucking happy they didn't take that fucking special down fuck you fuck you and i go back to andrew dice clay i go back to 1990 91 92 93 with andrew dice clay and the shit he went through let me tell you something do you think people went to fucking hbo and told him to take down the hickey dickery doc fucking special do you think they went to like hbo and told him to take down the fucking live from long island with joey badafoucault and the fucking no no because people weren't fucking concerned we're getting too woke we're getting a

little bit too woke again my apologies to the lgb2q community but you should handle this little differently get the people that run glad or i don't know what the name of the organization schedule a meeting with netflix don't go in there demanding to take the special off just explain to them what you've been trying to do online explaining that tell david what you think his actions were and how they affected the lgb2q community community sit them down explain that to netflix like the whatever the thing that organization explained it to tom segura don't go online and call them out and all this shit schedule a meeting with netflix sit them down and explain your beef your beef to them what is going on how this does

affect our community i think for me i think he's giving you light like they say no publicity is bad publicity you know i think that if you're on the road to a gender change this is not going to fucking you know so i get it i get the that in your world the remarks were a little violent and whatnot and people going to start beating no they're not no they're not listen i'm a wild man and like i said i've i've had experience with transgender people people who have gone the operation and i treat them the same do i make jokes yeah you have to make jokes so on the other side of this coin i hate saying this lgbtq you gotta toughen up a little bit you gotta fucking toughen up a little bit it's 2021 your pioneers what do you think happens to pioneers they get

hit in the head with fucking rocks until they prove their point until they sell their belief until they tell you why they're doing what they're doing you gotta toughen up a little bit what do you think the gay guys in the 60s and 70s were fucking demanding for you to take shit down these were the fucking uh young gay guys that were getting beat up in the sixth think about being gay in the 50s 60s and 70s and you're offended over a fucking comedians fucking words on a special you need to toughen up too you need to toughen up too i know you made the commitment to change and to be stronger and whatever well let's do it you need to toughen up the fuck too if you're gonna listen how do you think you're perceived right now how do you think you're perceived when you walk

into a job and you're in the transition and you know you you're taking you know how are you perceived did you ever think about that so yes this is an education for everybody but the lgbtc community needs to educate people and explain to us what's going on why it's hurtful don't just take the special down no no no we're not fucking the nfl no we're not fucking uh al davis that we're just gonna sell somebody up to the fucking sharks no let's do this let's try this let's speak to some of the african-american people that he's coming contact with gruden before we let them go see if they're fucking angry but they've been getting coached by him for the last since 2012 without any knowledge of these fucking emails does it make a difference does it fucking make a difference

so we have to toughen up a little bit in this fucking country we have a lot of issues right now going on that we have to fucking worry about mental health they just a lot they just told cops in new york that if you see somebody shooting heroin on the street it's fine they're a don't don't fucking fuck with them they're trying to vaccinate your fucking kid they're trying to make mandates for you to get on planes for that you they're trying to take away your fucking liberties and you're worried about an african-american comedian making jokes that's what you're fucking worried about right now lgbtc community they are going for our fucking heads they are going for our fucking heads so i understand you being woke i get it i understand we all have to do a little bit

awakening or as much as we could do i've even woken up a little bit i'm not listening that doesn't mean i'm not going to crack fucking jokes okay i'm going to crack fucking jokes but now i also have a knowledge of who i'm hurting with these jokes that's the most important thing but listen if a joke hurts you take a fucking you know what the fuck is wrong with you what the fuck is wrong with us have we gotten this fucking soft in our fucking daily lives that everything fucking affects us people are dying right now from stupid shit people are fucking losing their jobs school teachers cops you know it's a whole new fucking world out there but you want to create another fucking problem because a comedian said some fucking stupid shit about you i don't i don't

understand society anymore and i'm trying to be woke i'm you know i have a little girl i have a family i have friends that have sons and daughters that are trying to you know uh change genders his hey they it's too fucking much it's too fucking much altogether you know you got us on this fucking path of you know that we can't do nothing wrong and if we did something 20 years ago we should be punished tomorrow no and then you guys don't anything about me i didn't allow it fucking 18 months ago and i'm not gonna fucking allow it i'm not gonna allow it i'm not gonna determine one thing i did come up with a conclusion when i watch that special i'm gonna be honest with you guys i'm gonna be as honest as i can with you because i've always been honest with you guys

one of the reasons i have stayed clear of stand up is because i have a lot of things going on in my life and i don't need somebody to make a tape of me and say i was saying wrong shit and they shut me down over stupid stuff over i was on a roll on stage i'm on a fucking roll i'm just going and all of a sudden i drop something a tranny joke a gay joke a a fucking an african-american joke a chinese joke and my life is going to be over because of today's society and the fucking wokeness that's not gonna that's not gonna work but i've been thinking about it and ever since i watched it chappelle special i go no this cannot this cannot go on chappelle special woke me up chappelle special woke me up a lot and the the gruden thing

woke me up a lot i had been the fucking little bear cave for the last fucking year that really woke me up and guess what now it's giving me a fucking now i want to do stand up now i want to do some yes sets i called dino last week and i go dino dino offered me a couple dates and i go dino listen again i can't cover an hour and i'm not gonna do that to anybody i'm not gonna charge you 20 bucks and go listen if i have 15 minutes i wouldn't mind because i got somewhere to go and we could improvise but now because of what i've seen chappelle do i'm gonna tell you what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go back out there just in jersey for now for the first six months just to get my listen guys it takes a long time to come up with an hour of material no matter how much you're fucking right

you got to go out there and test it and test it and refucking test it so it takes time i don't i am the type of guy that i refuse to put myself out there in a theater if i'm not at least 30 minutes in of great fucking material but because of the chappelle thing he inspired me i was looking for something to inspire me and i found it i found it you're not going to ever you know davin wayns gave the best fucking response to it he said they make comedian slaves they wanted to make those fucking slaves to that and i'm not doing it and i'm happy he said those words i'm happy dav did what he did and i'm happy i'm gonna do what i'm gonna fucking do i'm gonna go up there little by little take my time but i'm not gonna miss my words because i'm gonna

hurt somebody's feelings that's not what the stand-up is supposed to do the stand-ups that aren't successful that's why they're not successful because they pander to the audience and they don't want to fucking they don't want a tippy toe around anybody's fucking feelings i don't give a fuck i really don't you know what when i go out and i get offended by something i get offended by two or three things but guess what you'll never hear me talk about them because what differences it makes what do you want me to do send them an email that they offended me with a joke or a commercial you offend me when you put tampon commercials on what kind of fucking half a fag would i fucking be if i did that so no i just avoid those situations they're like if something gives you

anxiety that's one thing i've learned from bed out if something gives you anxiety avoid it's called the fucking trigger right or wrong so if you think you're gonna get fucking sad about Dave Chappelle special don't watch it don't watch it what 10 million fucking people have watched it and they've enjoyed it i mean you know so my heart goes out to the edgy b2 community i hope you didn't take any of my comments in the wrong way i'm just trying to explain to everybody how we could avoid all this and what you should worry about and what you should not worry about i spoke about before how i'm not the most well read guy i'm a street guy i'm a street guy i'm a high school fucking dropout for me to talk about the social issues of the world means i have to sit down

and read for fucking 10 fucking years but at that time i'll be dead and fucking buried anyway so i don't have time for that i talk about life i talk about how to make your life better i talk about you know our freedoms how to fuck you know who gives a fuck what they think it's what you think that's fucking important if you don't like what they think just turn them the fuck off that's it it's that fucking simple that's the school i've been from all my fucking life i worry about what's in front of me i'm like a i'm not a political guy but i'm like a democratic mind guy i don't really think about what's going on out there it's got nothing to do with me it's got nothing to do it's what's in front of me i've never had as good as people that they could think about

you know the pygmies and in fucking indonesia you know i love to think about pygmies and i love to save the fucking children and all this shit but who has the fucking time we have time to talk about what we know what's in our realm and what's in our world for me it's movies reefer i've never realized how worthless i am since i moved here like i was ever since i stopped doing common i'm like i need a job what can i do nothing nothing this is all i could do is crack stupid fucking jokes and talk and fucking do a podcast and maybe shoot a couple videos from time to time that's all i could do and i'm very happy for that that's why i was fucking kidding myself if i thought i wasn't doing anything else i'm happy i watched that dave

chappelle special and i'm happy it gave me some fucking initiative to at least go on stage from time to time i love you motherfuckers are all in my heart man i'm a lot better i'm feeling a lot better i'm a lot happier uh like i said it's getting we're getting we're moving jack i mean mike was saying it was 91 fucking degrees come friday and now it's 60 fucking two life is moving it was october first everybody was happy the many saints were out and now it's october fucking 17th 18th whatever the fuck it is time is moving brother and if you don't get on this fucking boat you're gonna be left out there i love you motherfuckers are all my heart laughing gas is back and but what do you think of the new batch it's tremendous it's tremendous i like that

new batch i like that new batch i'm trying to mix it up a lot but it's so weird how uh i got so far i'm loving this guys listen the reason i got high in the morning was because of how high i got in the morning so as a pot of fish and auto right the reason why you get high in the morning is to have it hit you like a left hook so you don't have to fucking think about what you're about to do or whatever let me tell you something i don't even want to smoke pot in a daytime no more i don't want to smoke pot in a daytime no more because the two hour window at night when i smoke i get so high and i have such a fucking good time i can't even tell you how much of a great time i have when i get high at night i do so many fucking things in that two hour window

and when i go upstairs and my head hits the pillow zoom i finally got over they're not eating shit at night because that was killing me i put on a few pounds but i took them right the back fuck off because i started eating apples and bananas at night but fuck for a few weeks there i was going deep the tapering is going great i maybe have another fucking month of it and i'm done and i feel great guys i really fucking do thank you for all the support and all the well wishes and for support and we've had some great podcasts the last couple weeks it is what it is and i'm happy you're enjoying them have a great week have a great fucking monday i'll see you motherfuckers wednesday tip top magoo i think we're gonna bring some

fucking conspiracies on the show i love you motherfuckers see you wednesday morning and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors jack all right you bad motherfuckers i want to thank you i had a good time with you guys today it's monday it's a great way to start the week but before we go anywhere i want to talk to you about better help online therapy listen going to therapy is routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness to prevent bigger issues down the road i didn't know this i didn't know this i'll tell you what i am a lot better and you guys have seen me if you don't believe in better health or you don't believe in therapy put on one of the podcasts from november look at me how i was talking and look at me today it's two different people

dana has really helped me if you want to go with dana give her a shot but going to therapy doesn't mean there's something wrong with you it means you're investing in yourself to keep your mind healthy for the future and that's what i did and i hope you do the same better help is customize online therapy that offers video chat phone sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to you want to talk on the phone you talk on the phone you want to see what she looks like she's right there for you it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist and under 48 hours why invest in anything else and not your mind come on this podcast is sponsored by better help and joint

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make this fucking happen and don't forget to friend me i want to thank draft kings i want to thank better help online therapy and i want to thank cbd lines for having my back but most importantly i want to thank you fucking savages for having my mother fucking back thank you i love you and we'll be back wednesday morning tip top motherfucking magoo have a great day i love you motherfuckers you You