Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #108 | FAT DRAGON | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, October 20th..... Today we talked to the Great, FAT DRAGON! This episode is brought to you by DraftKings, Lucy.co & MD Hearing Aid….. Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $200 in Free Bets when you Bet $5 on any NFL Game…. Go to https://www.MDHearingAid.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY for a Buy One Get One Offer at $299 Each, PLUS a 45 day Risk Free Trial & Free Charging Case! Go to https://www.Lucy.co Use PROMO CODE: JOEY for 20% OFF! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #FatDragon The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening you bad motherfuckers? Wednesday, the 19th of fucking October, it's moving right along. Mike was just saying what the fuck ever since July the fucking summer went right through now I just remember being October 1st, and it's the fucking 20th already So you I hope you motherfuckers are making things happen me time is moving fast look at my hair

I was looking at it last night. I'm pretty much bald from here to here I just got a little bit of hair that enough that I could it's like a glove It's like a skunk tail like I just put this skunk tail over here and it covers pretty soon I'm gonna be missing this whole patch of my fucking hairdo. It's uh, it really is fucking crazy How I used to have a big fucking Jew fro now I got nothing now I got four hairs keeping it all together who gives a fuck my hair serve be when I needed it You know I'm saying when it's tough to get your dick suck when you're bald in 22 Especially if you got the grandpa looking hairdo like the size

That's why everybody shaves it because you just look like a fucking fool if you have the memory like and you know The little ball circle with the hairdo over here fuck all that shit, you know I'm saying What the fuck happened to my boy the stones no more brown sugar? When does this bullshit? Fucking end When does this end brown sugar? The song is I don't know 40 50 years old right the stones been around 50 I don't I don't fucking know I know the arrow Smith celebrating their 50th anniversary next year With a big concert up at the fucking Fenway Stadium, you know who knows but the stones got to be up there for how many years

They got to be together. I don't know how old brown sugar is but brown sugar really we can't play brown sugar no more This is communism that listen The biggest thing I took out of my meeting the first time I met my cousins that I really got to talk with them was maybe 10 years ago I was driving one day and I got a call from The manager at the improv and she said to me that my cousins win from Cuba visiting And they saw my name and they wanted to stop by so that night I invited them to the store and I just retweeted that my cousin

Emmy Alfonso is singing at the Grammys or Grammy.com a music is on there. She sent me a note here down Twitter But the one thing I took the most out of their meeting that night went to Cantors Cantors is like a Jewish deli on Fairfax in LA fucking a little I'm more of a langus type guy Belangas wasn't that I mean Cantors wasn't bad. It was great, especially when you went there too in the fucking morning So I was in there with them and they were telling me all these things about Cuba that when you get on a raft and you Come over they throw eggs at your house They drive by your house and throw eggs and all this shit

But they were also telling me we started talking my music, you know, I'm a music guy and They were saying that, you know, they had the Led Zeppelin's album with stairway to heaven on it That was their favorite album mine too and They couldn't put it in the house. I guess they she was telling me she had the cassette and a couple What it was was cassettes. I'm I don't mean to be fucking wrong here They took the cassettes and they had a barium outside not even on your property You got a barium outside of the property. Let's say your tree went up to let's say your property went up to a tree You had a buried outside that tree so they could blame it on anybody else

But a fucking Led Zeppelin album a Led Zeppelin album Beetle music and then years later yet Fidel was a big fan of John Lennon So he allowed John Lennon to they put the statue up But they weren't big music in the fucking 70s. You weren't allowed to listen to nothing American now they have, you know, rap music and they have, you know heavy metal and they have all these groups are What's his name Rudy Sarge will send me some videos of the heavy metal bands they had in Cuba Holy shit. These guys are thrash metal fucking making it happen But in the 70s 80s 90s, you weren't allowed to play fucking music in Cuba, especially anything fucking American. So

What the stones got a call from somebody one day and said they had to stop playing brown sugar and they did it I don't think Mick Jagger's a fucking a sheep But for him to say I'm not gonna play brown sugar anymore I mean, it just I know Keith Richards said that he doesn't see what the problem is with the song and neither do I It's a fucking song. I could see if it was two life crew, you know, sitting at home with my dickum hard I got a black book for a freak to call all that shit. I get it. There's people in the room, but that's brown sugar There's no curse words. There's nothing but if they ban that that made me fucking think that's kind of open up my eyes and go What the fuck is next?

So anything now, I'm pro fucking words, man. I'm pro words. We're not here to be silenced We're not here to fucking enough is enough already. I'll be a little bit crazy on this motherfucker, too We have to be we have to be because this is this movement cannot work silence and people You're not gonna tell me what material I can and can't do we spoke about it on fucking Monday But this is actually gonna be a grown problem. So now I'm fucking jumping on this motherfucker Today I had a a guest on here. That's He's a great dude, man. I don't know how to describe Sam Sam is a kid. I saw at the store When he first got to him on the funniest things

He was in the main room one night and he I don't think he knew it It was like a you know, it was an older crowd for some reason and Sam's up there doing ecstasy jokes and Chinese jokes and they're just and I'll never dog I could live to be a hundred. These are the things you learn when you're up at the store What material to do, you know, he did he couldn't see him. It's dark out He's up there talking about doing a hit of ecstasy and fucking eat lollipops and drinking water and $20 and they're just looking I'm like, we don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I loved it. You know, I saw him go through What he went through the same thing I went through substance abuse all those years, you know

The store was you know years ago when they had a football player that was a little fucked up They sent them to Miami. Why if the guys already got a problem, you're gonna send them to Miami That's the way it was with us I mean we had problems and they send you to the store where you could do anything at the fucking store, you know I'm never listen. I'm never Gonna tell you that I did bad things at the store. I didn't it was what was there It was what the night called for it was what what went on down there for people to look and go The store was a second. Listen women went down there looking for shit guys went down there looking for shit

And they found that the drugs at a different level, you know, what people were doing there. It was really an experience It was 23 years of my life that I'm fucking proud of I'm very fucking proud to be a comedy-star comic I'm very proud to have that moniker that Mitzi made me I don't give a fuck about quitting high school going to jail or any that all went away when I got into the comedy store That was the honor It put on me and I feel fucking honorable. I know for a fact I'm one of the Green Berets a comedy and you can't take that away from it That's just the way it is

23 years cannot be erased by some fucking joke or some stupid shit. I will keep going forward I don't give a fuck. That's why what's going on now with telling people what they can say and what they can't say It's not gonna float especially with us in the county store It's not gonna float because we were trained a different way So please understand me understand where I'm fucking coming from and understand what I endured all those years If people telling me that your stand-up is not gonna work here You're too dirty of this and also I'm meant to store Mitchie Shor's telling me I don't give a fuck if you like your asshole on fire

So think of that and that's where I grew and that's where I grew as a man and as a fucking comic And that's how I ended up the comic that I am and listen I might not be you know, 10 Netflix specials in and all that shit You think I worry you think I stay up and I worry about that what I think about is what I did and How it was a fucking it could never happen again a street guy like me doing time going to LA and saying you could all suck My dick movies soap operas fucking games. I did it all and you can't take that away from me Welcome Sam Tripoli to the motherfucking podcast. I hope you enjoy this fucking savage There he is the best-looking guy in the biz you bad motherfucker, what's happening? I miss you

Surviving brother surviving in advance. That's what we're doing. What's surviving you're running things out there Try and brother everybody left. I got to hold it down. How are you my friend? I'm great, dude I can't complain. Look at you. I'm great. You dodged your gear for tonight Got it ready to go. They gotta do it. It's killing me, but you know, it's Dodger baseball They got to make it happen the other night. I'm sitting here and I'm fucking going through shit late night I'm trying to put you know trying to write a little bit just to see what I could whip up and I was thinking of our nights Your Tuesday night best show in LA that was showing the world, dude That was just too fucking much on Tuesday nights the massage girl

The reefer the fucking it was just the pizzas. There was always pizzas money you It was it's very hard to match. It's very that's never gonna happen again in our world Well, man, I was talking to Cal and Bob today. I was like dude. Just think about like we were Kingsboro What that used to be How like the just just the energy in the room and like when we say it was like when I say it was the greatest show in the world It was literally the greatest show in the world. It was the number one showcase show in the entire world It was sold out main room two shows every other week. That's 370 tickets two shows packed out

everybody, you know just practicing the model of abundance giving it all away and it was a blessing dude and it was an honor to be a part of it and and You rogan burr Chrysler segura see how things Theo the Lea all of it, dude Just amazing just amazing, you know, you're not doing your show anymore I mean Jim Florentine brought it to my attention. He goes. I don't think he's doing at the store anymore

I'm uh, you know Things change and we're feeling we're figuring it all out. There's a couple things going on I'm waiting to you know, have the LA comedy scene figure out its path right now and You know, we've talked before I'm just I've been in this game for 20 I'm 48 years old. I started doing stand-up at 22 years old it's a long time in the game and You're kind of I'm just kind of figuring out what the direction is and all my boys are gone So it's hard to you know, it's like it's not just about money

But it's about performing with your friends and having this amazing night and celebrating our friendship and comedy and all that stuff And so it's not the same. So we'll see what happens. That's what it really was You know, I would drink three expressos before I went down there on Tuesday Cuz I couldn't bomb like I couldn't fucking bomb like there's no way you can't bomb at a triply show I would I would do two spots and I was hoping that bomb in the original room Do you know I'm saying cuz I would do your show and then run to the original room Due to 10 o'clock and get the fuck out of there. So I was like if I'm gonna bomb I'm gonna bomb in the original room. You don't want to bomb in that

This about you. You were our Sam Kenneson when you were Towards the end man, you were just leading into you and what you did and you were unfollowable and Everybody was like this guy's doing it the best out there. So it's like you really hit it like an amazing Stride and you really I you really were our Kenneson at that point You were you were just like something no one's ever seen and it was like it was an energy that could not be matched And you just brought a dude every fucking time, bro Every fucking time and you you were had this amazing thing where you would just get off right when time was up You never ran it. You didn't have to worry about that. You just got in bam like a gentleman got out got out

And you look great, bro. I gotta be honest with you last time I saw you you were getting shot in the head on TV. You look fucking phenomenal, bro Yeah, you're like you're glowing dude. I feel good. I'm glowing, you know, everything's working out The pieces are starting to align a little bit. It has been a rough, you know, it's been it's rough without you guys It was rough. I got to admit it. I gotta come full circle here. It was rough The first six months for me like I was beating myself up That I do the right thing that I not do the right thing, you know, I knew I was burnt out on comedy. I'll tell you that That's the other I get it dude. I get that I really get that too

You know, you said you have been doing comedy since you were 22 years old and How old were you when you walked into the comedy store? You were a young man trips 25, bro 25 That's 23 years ago, man. I I listen I was at the comedy store longer than I lived with my parents when I was born I got out at 18 I was at the comedy store for 23 years and I saw everything I saw death But in it's dead times what everybody calls its dark period to like the zenith That got so big that we were just talking about I saw it all man

And I loved all of it and I'll tell you something man that dead time that everybody Talks about as being super dark. It was the purest comedy ever was so was I mean people were going up on stage doing comedy for the sake of comedy Not like you know worried about the industry is there because there was no industry there and nobody showed up And it wasn't about anything you'd be lucky. There were nights, dude I watched paul mooney do stand up for two people one time in the oar two people 45 minutes super crush you It was about learning. Yeah, there's a lot of blow and craziness going on But it was about stand up because the inmates ran the asylum

And we were just going up there and it was the purest comedy will ever be I don't think you'll ever in the history time will ever get purer comedy than that It was not about anything other than trying to work this act and getting better and all those people that were there You all these guys you me all these people have like our national headliners a lot of them have netflix specials And it's just like they became the who's who of not just comedy but podcasting So it was a very magical time, but everything changes, you know, it's just like that's kind of as you grow older You start to realize that it's like there's a cycle to life, man And you got to kind of know what part of the cycle you're in and just let it go let it go let it go

And if it's meant to come back it's meant to come back You know, I never heard somebody describe the dark ages of the store like that, but I gotta be honest with you We'll throw it on the table right now That dark age is how I learned to become a comedian. You're absolutely right. It was pure. I remember talking to Ari one night Here we are doing your show. The thing is busy There's a hundred people outside the comedy store on tuesday nights. There's a line for fucking rap battle You know, we we went through that people bring I remember I would walk back then the guys from abx tablets Just god bless him. He would go joey. Where's your car outside? I'm putting something in your car

You don't even want me to carry it They would put it in your fucking car for you You'd go to go home and then you look back and they'd be fucking a box of edibles You'd have bags of weed Fucking geno speed weed with those blunts We would get down there. It was just amazing to see and it was great and I fucking appreciate it But I remember calling Ari and going Ari the store was on fire last night. He's like, ah, you know, Ari It's too fucking commercial for me now, you know, and I'm like wow

And now you brought that up about the dark ages guys if you're at home watching this shit, listen When you're a comic you want to be seen. We were all young We were all young. We wanted to be seen agents managers Production companies, you know came to the store Nobody nobody dick you had to go to the laugh factory If you went to the laugh factory in those days, I'll tell you something every time I went to the laugh factory I came home with a card When the comedy store was dark, I was telling mike the other day that I had a showcase for

Nacho, whatever the fucking wrestling movie Jack black went and set up latino night And he had all the big fat mexicans and a big fat cuban Me rudy, you know all the fat mexicans. He had us do 10 minutes Felipe and he checked us out and then afterward I spoke to him. That was the laugh factory You know who came to the comedy store to see you? Nobody no managers I remember if you went to a manager if a manager came up to me and said, oh, we're interested in signing you

Where can I see you perform? You'd say the comedy store 10 30 11 o'clock. He'd go nah We're not going there. There's no parking. There's nothing to eat. You will take care of us. They don't ask like gold She would throw them out of there. Do you remember she she fucking did The night of a thousand guitos with damarera and The last minute mitchie sure goes fuck it. No industry comps And all those young comics were pissed because they thought that if the industry went their life was going to change And she was like no industry comps. They're like everybody else They got to pay like everybody else

And that was the end of that then andrew dice clay showed up for the italian night And him and dom had an argument in the main room in front of everybody Because he was telling you're not italian. They used to go at it. They used to go at it down there And he uh, I mean like he because you know, there was a time where uh, it was Comics would do hours on stage just hours people People had no clue what that was like and I was working a valet job, dude And I'd have to be there at my job at seven in the morning, man

Seven in the morning, dude And sometimes I didn't have a car my car wouldn't work So I'd have to like hitchhike or get a taxi and it was crazy, dude And like these guys would come in and they would do like three four hours on stage And I was just people and these young comics were getting angry because they didn't get their five men's at the beginning of the show And I'm like, man, you don't even understand, dude Three four hours on stage. I would leave there at three in the morning They have to go to home and get the work at seven in the morning

I was valet laying down the street and like I would answer the door People like, oh my god, you were the guy on stage. You were so funny grab my bags. I got to get out of here I'm like, ah, man, welcome to life But it was an amazing time, dude. Nobody cared about the store. No, nobody Nobody, no laugh factories jumping the the improv was jumping, you know, the the comedy always changes and one of the big changes was uh Doublance doublance came in and was this big comedy show was a tuesday night and it was on um At this giant irish bar that became this miami nightclub that for 20 years now

This club has just been empty and nothing's happening. They say it's about rent or or taxes Someone owns tax on it and they just haven't done anything with it, but it just sits there, right quietly But it was at the time it was doublance and this was during the shack and kobe laker like fucking pinnacle It was crazy on the sunset strip, dude And this was the first time where they had allowed where all three of the comedy club comics would come and perform together Because before that you couldn't if you you were con store you perform at the con store If you were lab factory you performed at the lab factory and if you were improv you performed at the improv and if your name Got on like if you were a con store comic and your name was on at the improv people would be who couldn't get spots

We're calling in snitching on you trying to get your spots, man And this is the first time we had all come together in this fucking insane Comedy night that kind of I thought changed comedy and then every it was a free for all But man the comedy store was do a dead on arrival But I wouldn't have had it any other way because you got to go through it to get to it, man You got it's got it. I mean dude people saw where sebastian was when he started He had his personality by working it out to where he is now that would never happen If he had to do it in front of pack crowds every fucking night

That's a fucking great point I still remember going to Dublin and having such a great time that you didn't want to go to the store And so he was the deal The store used to do african-american night on tuesday nights And they would you know, the brothers would be everywhere. I didn't it didn't bother me. I performed there What was the name of the other show that joe tori? There was moe better monday moe better monday that's improv fat tuesday fat tuesday fat tuesday was when I got to la was the biggest Fucking night. It was the sam trippley show. Yeah, it was crazy. That's where bruce willis saw

What's his name and put him in the fifth dimension? That's where what's his name saw guide tori chris tucker. That's where guide tori That's where my boy saw guide tori and put him in american history x That was real. I still remember the I used to telemarket at the comedy store for ends mitchell Ends mitchell used to be a manager at the store. Oh damn comedy union comedy union me shama Tons of us would be upstairs telemarketing 10 bucks an hour for giving away free tickets and shit Would ends mitchell up there that fucking store would be dead We were giving away tickets and people still wouldn't come to the fucking comedy store

Like you got a dollar so far back in the day, dude I remember when steve roniz easy was working the working the cash register At the comedy store and I walk in he's like and he'd be like dude, should I start looking for a new job? I'm like, I don't know. This is how dead the comedy store was the lojoya Comedy store was keeping the hollywood comedy comedy store a flow That's how empty it was and we couldn't start showing till we had like at least like two people We had to get at least and if nobody showed up we would wait until two people showed up And then you would have to go up and that's you know

I I pray that you can bomb and anonymity dude Like you just work through your fucking darkness with nobody watching That's why I always love those end of those night spots because like everyone will go and you could just fucking lean into your craziness, man And I do those those days will never be come back You'll never see a brand that big Be that low and just power through it, you know You know, I'm in the process of writing a book So every night I gotta make notes and then I talk to the writer in the daytime

I'm not a writer. I we talk on the phone for like an hour a day And I'm trying to write that chapter right now about the struggle to that that that fucking comedy store how we were Loyal to nothing We were loyal to nothing. There was nothing there There was poor moony. There was eddie griffin There was joe rogan And that's it. The rest was us You know every once in a while gary shanling came in or

Andrew or fucking sarah silvin or something But that was it that was it none of these names will come in it would just be us learning You know doing drugs Fucking around with women, you know, it was just a grind and it was you're right It was an asylum run by the inmates. Yeah, do you remember there was a manager? He said he had worked like 80 days in a row The white kid he ended up leaving like he cracked mitzi cracked him He packed his bags and fucking went back to whatever state he was from

And you every once in a while he pops up on facebook like behind the people like he didn't want mitzi to find him He's like, how you doing joey if you come over here call me and he puts the bleaker back It was just crazy. There used to be phones I still remember being a broke comic and at night I would go into the manager's office and go anybody bring back a phone. I lost my phone. I didn't have a I had a pager I didn't even have a phone And they would give me they would give me the box and the manager would get up and leave

And I would get the phones and then bring them to the fucking guys that rob banks down in In Compton, they were friends with Eddie Griffin the Kansas City crew You can't even write this shit. I mean it was just I remember pulling up and the beer would deliver the beer and the booze and I go I could rob these cases right fucking now Now I was a sticky-fingered thief and I never robbed the store Like I would pull up at 12 and I would see the cases of whiskey out And I was like if I go back to stealing I'll never be a comic like this. So just ruined my fucking dream

So I never touched nothing at the store. It wasn't until years later I'll tell you I used to rob a waitress at the store years later. Oh my god She would put a tray by the thing and we would come up to the tray And she would leave the money out of the tray like little and if we took her for a 20 It would be enough and she blamed somebody else. I'm not gonna tell you who for years She thought when I found out that she was blaming a different comic Now I went down mondays to rob like every monday. I would go down there just to rob But there's nothing at the store on monday nights. Nothing even back then

But I would go down at a robber But the best robbery I ever did at the store and this was like I did like maybe six heists at the store But the best one I ever did was I go into the manager's office to get a check and this white I I still remember his face, but I don't remember his name. Robert. Maybe he had the hair on the side like dick van dyke He had the button shirt. He was just out of college. He was really into this job Like he was using Everything from his degree for this job and the inmates are running the asylum. We don't even need you here Just open the back and get us a fucking beer. We don't need your education here

We didn't need it. We needed a deaf mute. He would have done the job So I walk in him. He's like, hey, why can I help you? I got I need to get See if I have any checks back here because sometimes even if you didn't have a check you just looked That's how you were open bro. That's how broke you were that check was paying rent And the improv used to leave the checks out. You don't know how many times I robbed a drew carry check For the small 750 or the you know, because they were like seven dollars and 50 cents or 15 dollars I would just be Seven seven dollars

I would be so desperate. I take the 750 and go right to the cash check cash in place Whitley and son and hollywood boulevard. They knew me by first name in that motherfucker I would be so broke. I was stealing seven dollar and fifty dollar check seven dollars When I used to work at the store they so I got picked up things to mazja brownie Mazja brownie and duncan trellis who got me at the store. I would work a full shift, bro We're talking seven eight hours. If eddie griffin comes in it could go up to 10 for $25 bro. It was the whole pay for the shift was $25. That's all I got And she but she made me a regular

And she made me work the door and I was blessed that because I learned so much But man, they got away with murder back in the day. The comedy store didn't give zero fox There were no rules to them. They operated in their own thing And that's kind of what they needed at that time and times have changed dude and things change. We'll see what happens I love everybody over there. Just letting them figure out their path, you know, but yeah, man It was outlaw and that's why when I find so and for the longest time dude Up until this crazy pandemic happened The comedy store was the mecca of comedy and the mecca of comedy podcasting all the biggest podcasts were

Somehow associated with the comedy store And we are also the center of the war against political correctness and political correct comedy It was a cultural event going on at the comedy store And I don't think anyone really appreciated until like now when a couple years later We realized like what we were in the middle of we didn't know it because we were in the middle of the storm But later on we look back. It's like This is the stuff the legends like when they talk about the d-mart and frank sinatra Like we were the comedy version of that like people would always say all the time

It's like the comedy store was like nothing ever like you could go to the whiskey, right? You I saw velvet revolver at the whiskey, right? I never got to see them in the hall and talk to them You could have your favorite comic Just walk right past you in the hall and engage you in five minute conversation That doesn't happen anywhere else in entertainment nowhere else There's no other play even the comedy seller, which is like Like the comedy store version on the east coast like comics sit up in a certain place

There's a there's a there's a stairwell to where they go on stage There's no real place that you get get the hang out and just chop it up with your favorite comic man It is truly the mecca of comedy and we'll see what happens But even if I never perform there again, whoever knows what will happen But let's say I never perform there again. I got the comedy store in my blood. It's in my bones, dude I bleed red and black man, and I I I'll take the comedy store wherever I'm performing man What a lot of people don't understand is that for a guy like me? I got locked up I fucking got no high school diploma. I got a gd. I quit high school

You have no idea how being a part of the comedy store made you feel Like I can't explain how I feel like people say to me. Well, joey. I can't believe you're not doing comedy You didn't know what I saw either I saw a lot. I saw a lot and not bad things I just saw the belly of comedy I just saw it already. I was at the store what he's talking about and we took it as nothing when he's talking about that It was the the center foot. I remember going up to mitching on mitchy. Do you mind what nothing? Nothing was sacred in there. Whatever. I remember taking my dick out on stage there

thousands of times and she was Ah Keep it in your pants It was what it was about. She knew what was going on there with sex and drugs and rock and machine knew He was participating in it. She was the fucking leader of it. So For us like what happened last week Three things happened last week that were against my court Dave chappelle special john gruden getting fired

for something he said 12 years ago and The stones no brown sugar That is pure communism I don't know how the fuck you're right, dude. Mick jagger sign cultural marxism, bro It's that is communism marxism that is pure communism. I could You could smell cuba In the air I could smell the bananas and shit like that and the sweaty people You're telling me that's not what because it's about slavery. What what what? I don't even get all this shit

And who's complaining about the rolling stones and a song they say, you know, it just makes no fucking sense But they love they love john They love john lennon. Do you know a song that john lennon sung on his on like the tonight show, bro Do you want to hear the words he sung on the tonight show? And these are john lennon's words women are the nigger of the world. Yeah, that's that's how you believe Shea fish that that's where that that is that time brown sugar. It's from a time to erase it Doesn't change anything. It doesn't make the world any better. Everybody's worried about brown sugar. Okay Nobody's worried about what's going on with in libya, which is open air slave drinks

Like there's real shit going down, but no one's gonna say anything about that because obama caused it so it's like This is this is a classic textbook cultural Marxism which is completely rewriting history and that's what we're into right now and This is why some people are allowed to say something some people It's all part of cultural Marxism and it's all being pushed by rich kids rich white kids And you have melko max and you have the unabomber both saying the same thing rich white liberals are the most dangerous animals in the world

Because they're pushing an idealism that they don't live that they've never lived through something like you from cuba Your family you talk about what happens when you get real communism not theoretical socialism which is what always happens It's it that's where it leads to and It's just unbelievable that you have these kids who are just like railing against the patriarchy And all you know, you had that gala event where all these people are like peg the patriarchy that woman that wore that shirt Her family are all Royals she's from they're they're the patriarchy

So you have rich kids trying to get rich white kids trying to convince everybody that poor white kids are the problem When in reality the patriarchy that they're railing against is is all their fathers and their grandfathers have all done it And it's what happens all the time. They're super young. They rail Ah, man them system then they get to a certain age and they just they walk right into their daddy's office And they start doing everything they hate it. So it's like, yeah, it's it's bizarro Fucking town right now, but people like you and rogan and what i'm doing any legion of skanks They're right there too Like they're creating a system in which young versions of us can thrive in now

I'm killing it right now You know why because i deal in authenticity brother and that's why you've always resonated with people because you are authentic as fuck And in this fucking age of phony shit Truth like you're talking about robin waitresses all that shit. They're dying for some realism, dude That's what people want. That's why they'll always be a place for us You know and now you're in this major movie. It's like all the blessings in life Because you're such a good dude and you're so real that people in this sea of shit You're a buoy brother. You're a lighthouse in this fucking sea of bullshit, dude

How can We be Such a shit fucking society We're like a shit society now Like yelling at a kid for stand-up this happened 20 years ago with andrew dice clay They weren't looking for his head. They weren't you know what i'm saying like and they were in a way

You know when he went on sign that live and said all that stuff, but nobody was looking to cancel him Andrew went away on his own people thought that they went that oh well andrew went no andrew went away to raise his kids You thought you put him down with your stupid Fucking oh, well, we don't like dirty comedy. He went to raise his kids And then when he finished raising his kids, he made a fucking comeback A killer come back a killer fucking come back. He just did the tour of his fucking life yeah, you know and Now you want to take what shepell did and this guy got his feelings her well

It's time that this country toughened up a little bit That's the first thing your mom taught you but sticks and stones will fucking break your bones and words will never hurt you Joey the person leading this charge Is a is the is the showrunner for a show called dear white people right there She's shitting on another group which makes her a fucking hypocrite Now here's the bizarro part. She is a white trans woman. Okay, which means she was born a white man Transitioned into a white woman, which means she is white people. She's all white people He's both sides of it and she's fucking yelling about how bad white people are and she's yelling at a guy for making fun of her group

When she openly makes fun of another group imagine being a black actor on the show Dear white people and you're getting notes from the showrunner Who is a white trans person on how you should be acting in this blackness? It is clown town They want to try they want to cancel Dave Chappelle Okay, for some jokes why they were all fine with cuties, which is 11 year olds twerking right and you and I both have daughters the the notion of that thing happening is Extremely frightening yet these liberals most of them don't have children and don't have skins in the game Act like jokes are the worst thing in the world and I'll tell you why because most of the people leading this charge again

Are rich white kids and you study their life Joey they're born into fucking the best hospitals right they go home to the best houses That are behind the the best gated communities. They go to the best schools right out the gate private schools They graduate high school. They go to the most prestigious private colleges You get interned right into the best gigs They start going to the best restaurants and the best clubs. They marry highly people their life is nothing but pampering Okay so when they say

Violence is never the answer and mean jokes suck It's because there's only two things in the world that can affect them that are words and violence And that's why they're trying to fucking outlaw everything because I've just said this before These people want a world that plays to their strengths and outlaws their weaknesses Okay, and that's what they're trying to create right now Words and violence are the only thing that can affect super right kids Saying fuck giving them the truth and then just punch them in the face They can't handle any of that because they've been pampered for so long

So that's why what political correctness is and political correctness is truly Fascism and george carlin said the exact same thing. It's going to be a different kind of fascism It's not going to be it's going to be where it's like one dictator We got this what they call Corporatocracy is coming in and that is where corporations are going to run everything And that's what they're doing right now. And that's why Dave chappelle is heralded by one sign I love Dave, but then john gruden who hasn't nobody's seen these emails by the way We've just told what they're in they've never shown us email

This guy's demon eyes and steps down loses job. It's all part of the mind fuck that's going on right now loses job And gets his past glories taken down They took him down from the ring. They want a fucking super bowl His players would have complained about him over the years. We would have saw Players going gruden is a fucking is a nazi gruden is a fucking slave trade, you know, we would have seen things. There's nothing He's brought an email about lips that the guy was lying through those big lips He called somebody a half a fag

You know gadel or something like that. And by the way gadel has gay face That's I mean the guy is gay thing. I mean the dude looks like he loves dick I've been saying that for since he got the gig. I'm like that dude loves dick Dog and that's why they hit so hard with him. You can't go. I mean like what is punching up and punching down I mean you're worried. John gruden. I mean like gadel has been a piece of shit forever now We're all worried about his fucking feelings. I mean get the fuck out of here Get the and here's the problem joey. It's like what is the end result? What is the goal line of this whole thing like what is equality?

What and I have a lot of trans friends, dude I used to do a lot of drugs and just met a lot of weird people. Okay. I mean, I'm being honest with you That's just who I am. I shined in the darkness. I have a lot of weirdo friends I have trans friends that walk in here and you're like, that's the hottest chick you've ever seen in your life Trans fucking person, right? I know these people. Okay. Most of them don't want to deal with all this bullshit They hate fucking drag queen story hour. They hate all this fucking shit But these really loud people that and that's really always what it is man It's a small group of people. Most people just want to get get along and live their fucking lives

But you got these squeaky wheels that cause all the chaos and they get pushed to the front to get us all the fight with each other But the question is joey. What is the goal line equality? But what is equality man? What is equality? Let me tell you what equality is the more you're in the more shit you fucking get It's not the more you in the less they make fun of you. The more you in the more you get made fun of That's how it goes. Look who gets shit all the time. George bush Uh, uh, donald trump joe biden kanye west the kardashians jesus christ We can go down a whole list of people that are just a blot of every fucking joke because they're so fucking in The more you in the more shit you get so watch what you wish for this notion that gay people don't do funny shit

Or black people don't do funny shit or women don't do funny shit. It's just the most ludicrous thing in the world Black people are hilarious and i'm gonna make observations about black people. You ever been a world star hip hop dog? Just seeing crackheads jumping off from third floors doing belly flips. It's like fucking funny I can't talk about that get the fuck out of here That's right with the video done with the black dude who put the firecracker in his eye and his fucking eye I love a brother who puts a firecracker in his eye Right, you know and they're looking people for the wrong. I was thinking about myself Like I gotta be honest with you. I say some fucked up shit

But at the end of the day, I would put my hand out to any race and I've done it I know I've done it for for a fucking fact. I've done it You know, I'll goof on arabs, bro. I have three Arabs that are my best friends. They call once a week the whole fucking deal I thank this was one particular kid that I think about him once a week Because I couldn't get economics down and he fucking Worked with me He would take me to lunch and work with me on economics when I finally got it down in college And I always said that motherfucker regardless, but I'll say the craziest things about black people

Chinese I'll say the craziest things But I'll bump into Somebody who comes up to me who's african-american And I go, hey man They'll come up to me and go. Hey, we were like the podcast and at first you go You know, you said some shit on there, you know from time to time And now and I'll ask them. Did you ever you ever watch the podcast and feel like I was racist? They go, nope You just funny motherfucker. You say it how it is

But we could they feel it They know who's racist and it's like me when people talk about spanish people. I remember calling bob I remember getting a message from bobby slate one day for christmas and he's like, hey, man I just want to wish you a merry christmas. Even though you're in a roach and first pester tenement And the bronx or the bunch of spicks Now somebody would have got mad. I don't get mad at any of that shit But I will tell you I could tell when somebody's serious And I could tell when somebody's just making me a butt of a joke and I love being the butt of a joke

But when somebody like you speak motherfucker, I could tell when they're serious 100 percent And it's the difference between a racial Joke a racist joke and a racial joke now. I will even defend People's right to say off-colored stupid jokes. I mean, it's okay. We shouldn't be canceling people people shouldn't be losing their jobs When I write a joke, man, like I have a joke about this one female comic in la that's so hot But she only bangs black guys, right? And I'm like, you're so fucking hot. I'll paint my dick blackface That's how hot you are. Okay

All right, I'll put black paint on my dick if it means getting some of that ass, okay But my question goes my question goes could a black comic write that joke? And if the answer is yes, I'm writing the fucking joke because it's not about dude equality isn't segregation It isn't and that's the biggest thing when you see my new special, right? It's uh called no life. I mean, uh, no lives matter The always the comment and it's 99 percent positive and there'll always be a couple negative comments And it's always the same thing. Oh racial comedy. It's so lazy, right? But these political correct people force everybody into these silos So when I like the reason I have a big problem with la comedy is now

I know what everybody's going to talk about based on what they look like Oh black comics going to do white people do this white people do that Women are going to talk about their pussies. Mexicans are going to talk about me Because society's these woke people folk Force everybody into these silos where watch netflix specials. Everybody's just doing their stereotypes There's nothing original. So it's like don't tell me I'm lazy when you force everybody who who's fucking getting specials To be super fucking lazy, dude. I say talk about everything like anthony jezzlynick, right? He's a good friend of mine He's got 50 minutes on kiddieport

I hate that shit But I'll defend his right to do those fucking jokes to the end of fucking days If we're playing punching up and punching down There's no more punching down than that subject But I will defend anthony jezzlynick's Right to do awful fucking jokes because and I love anthony. I think he's one of the best comics out there But I don't get that those jokes, but that's his right to do it because

Nothing should be off Fuck in the table if you could do it if you do a movie on a subject Okay, you should be able to do a joke on a subject and the problem is the people who get offended think comedy Is about fucking patty cakes. They think it's meant to be yay and no dude Comics are some of the darkest motherfuckers I know and they talk about the shit that we really need to hear about and if you can't handle it Don't come to a comedy club You know, I remember when cat williams hit

you know, and I Watched the special I knew cat before he hit. I did one of his rooms and he was very fair to me And that michael jackson joke that he does that's one of the most brilliant jokes of all time That's what broke him if you listen to that joke It's a 50 50 in the room That means the room was split down the middle some people were owing Some people were like laughing, but they couldn't really laugh out loud because the people next to them were owing

And to me that's what comedy is Yes, dude. Yes, that has always when I saw it. I go that's comedy Now we got to get a motherfucker who could do that for 45 minutes straight And chappelle hit it, you know chappelle Fit that mold it wasn't me. It wasn't you it wasn't rogan. It wasn't sagura It was chappelle, you know, and I and I'm happy that he did it But that's what it's supposed to be when you go to a comedy show. Yeah, you're supposed to laugh a little bit But if the comics doing his job, he's gonna bring up a couple subjects

That should make you squirm a little bit in your chair just a little bit I don't want you to leave angry and you shouldn't be getting angry You should listen to it say I'll never pay 20 bucks for this jerk off again And go on your merry way Not make a video And put it on youtube and try to ruin the fucking guy You didn't like the joke when did be doing when did becoming offended? Becoming a felony

When did that happen you're offended so the fuck what man? So what comedies meant to elicit a response and your response is offended job done Wait, there'll be another joke coming That's it. That's the same way. I fucking look at things too. That's it. You know chappelle did his job If you watch that special as a comic and you got the balls to raise your hand and The other I go against chappelle. You're a fucking hypocrite and your comedy sucks Because that's what you're supposed to do your world collides with the rest of the world. Tell me about it You don't like abc news. Tell me why and I'll listen to you if you explain it

We're in don't just come up there and say I hate abc news But if you tell your take on why it rubs against your world, that's what the joke is You might not like it. Maybe you like abc news. That's why there's vanilla and chocolate because not everybody likes vanilla And you have to accept that but for you to try to ruin somebody's life Because they said something That's basically the truth People don't want to hear the truth. We know we heard it years ago with That fucking movie with uh, the Scientologist and the chick that fucked bruce willis

Whatever that was, you know You don't want to clear was it called going clear something like that? No, no It was the movie the army movie with jack Nicholson when Oh, oh, you can't handle the truth. Yeah, you can't handle the truth that goes that resonates in our society We can't even handle it's like if I came up can I go same? Can I talk to you for a second comic the comic because this happened to me When I first started like five years four years into comedy somebody tried to come and give me advice

But while he gave me the advice he told me my negative and I took offense to it I'd left I'd listen to his advice when I walked away and then I went back to beat him up When I got back he wasn't there But then I went home and I thought about the words he said to me and I go that motherfucker wasn't insulting me He was building me up He was building me up He was telling me what I needed to do to build up to be a good comic and I listened to him I got offended

Just a little bit, you know, like just a little bit like joe peshy You offended him just a little bit with the fucking uh, whatever joe, but Oh my fucking funny you think i'm funny I Jimmy Schubert did that to me one time I kind of you know, i'm a father-son dog You know my dad instilled a lot of things into me a lot of positives some negatives You know one was a little bit of paranoia and a big ego

Because I think sometimes as a comic you've got to be boxer almost you got to Almost believe in yourself when nobody else does even when you're having some weird sets and you're bombing and brother. I've had bombs I've had act I followed you there's three people at the comedy store that I follow. I bomb so hard I question whether this is what I should do for a living you Lisa lamp and ellie and I think the other one. Oh was uh What's his fucking name the the old guy with the gray hair? That's uh part of the blue collar tour I forgot what his name is run white Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I bomb the rough nights dog rough nights rough nights

But the like these are the learning moments, but jimmy schubert told me pulled me aside on a gig one time And he goes hey dude, you're really funny But man, you got bad attitude You you you just you just you're just rubbing people the wrong way man Because you're going around acting like you've done shit and you haven't done jack shit You're super funny, man People want to like you but you're you're just you're and I read that that resonated with me Because I felt like I'd said that about my father at some point

Like he just couldn't learn to work well with others and like from that point on Even in recovery though. I learned I worked on that like nobody's thinking about me, man Nobody's doing and I have to listen to what people are saying. So, you know and sometimes the truth hurts like Dana just gave me a no on a joke And like I kind of got mad, but I understand what she's saying So i'm gonna like twerk the tweak the joke a little bit, you know So it's like you have to when you when you get a past Being open to criticism. That's when I think you start to be in a little bit of decline

You start to lose the plot and the narrative and the respect for your crowd I think you always have to have a tiny bit of healthy fear Of the audience and that You hope that they love you because the minute you don't care. I see it happen all the time There becomes a disconnect between you and the crowd if you don't have a healthy Desire for them to like you and want to and do something that they'll appreciate I think you lose the plot of stand-up

Kind of respect the audience. You got to think about them Think about their every feeling. I think you know for me to become a great comic How to stop thinking how to start thinking about the audience? And yes, that fear is healthy Because once that fear is gone you shouldn't be doing Once they're healthy fear is gone. I get a little fear from doing the podcast When Mike I know he's on his way up here For like 10 minutes before Mike comes here. I got to sit down

Because you get a little scared So sometimes I go maybe I should just cancel. No, yeah This is what is natural I don't know how many nights, you know, especially going to the fucking store You know doing I don't know what's scarier Doing a road gig and trying to be You know a great comic for that audience, you know what they went through and they paid or Going down to the store

When you're only going to do 15 minutes But you're going to be with the fucking With the people who matter you can't go down and fail Can't go down and fail you're going to be with bill burr and this is your chance To earn your fucking, you know to earn your fucking wings You got to fucking earn it every night and this is it never mind going and doing red rocks In front of 18,000 people. Yeah high on life. They're breathing oxygen Go down to that fucking store on a Tuesday and go in that fucking jungle fest that they have

Your show the original there was a there was a part I would look at that lineup before I went down there Every Tuesday I had to stop Like I'm just going down Once they call you and tell you you have a spot don't look at the lineup because that's going to affect your game 100% 100% if you look at alley wong chris delia Ron white and then i'm somewhere in there It's going to affect you. Don't even look at the lineup. Just go down there like you're eating ass with your head tucked in

Straight fucking in You're going in right with the third eye into that Bam right there dog I'm totally with you man. It's such a psychological game. That's getting played Because if you you really get great at comedy you become like a cult leader you just get the whole room Thinking as one you get all these strangers to think as one moving group And it's like that's why when you fuck a joke up people snap out you got to pull them back into the into the thing So a big trans so a big thing for me, man

Was like I realized like because I love you know tom rhodes says I I do stand up like i'm playing at the front of the net in tennis right the really aggressive john mackinroll Tight fucking style right which is totally true because I do get off I'm seeing what I can get away with But one thing I really learned is like I can't just be doing that the whole time I have to stick and move so it's like my whole thing is like I my style of comedy joey. I call it gator roll, right? I call it the gator roll and what the gator roll is is I grab them at the top like an alligator does and I slowly

Slowly drag them in to the deep dark waters of what I find is crazy And that's where I get them right, but I can't open crazy I can't I used to open crazy and bear and just just bury myself and it's just like you can't do it It's a psychological operation You have to start very very slow and easy with relatable shit Like now I got all these jokes about my kids right now like real Simple, but they're sam triply jokes So it's really simple stuff and then by the end i'm talking about how like

Gays are days are like mass nazis now Like they fucking like if your nostrils come out like you're flying the the fucking gay stewardess will be on you But i'm like these are the ones who could this is a demographic I couldn't like stop bear back in each other during aids like you know I think so it's like this and then they're laughing at it because I've taken this time to fucking Psychologically bring them and prepare them into what we're doing. It's very psychological man stand up. That's why it takes 10 years Just to truly get to work to understand it to master it takes another five to ten on top of that

And that's why when like the comic walk scene you see kill you like how long you've been doing it 20 years You're like, yeah, that's 20 years of being in the lab working on experiments and coming to understanding What fucking this this jedi mind trick shit you're doing comics or jedi's real great ones are jedi's man That 20 year mark really opens up your brain I and you know who told me that mitzvah power jiggers was on stage one night in the main room I went back there. She was there in a little booth and she Sat me in come sit down And she said you see what are you doing? That's 20 years and I remember the time I was doing comedy like nine to ten

I was like check You know I'm saying check We're going for the 20 year mark to do what the fuck he's doing. It really is you do really It's a sight, you know, listen, this is the best way I can explain it from zero to 10 years You can't call your shots. You don't know if you're gonna bomb. It's a 50 50 In your head. All I know is from 20 to 30 You're gonna bomb

But I have a little bit more control over and I know how to get myself. It's like Zero to 10 years in jujitsu. I got to start on my knees After 20 years, I'll start on my back because I know I could get the fuck out of there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure, dude It's like what is the game plan? What's gonna work with this crowd? And you know for me like I get off stage now people like oh, dude, I really relate to that stuff I never used to get that because I've done it all like I bring these young guys on the road with me

And there's sometimes I'm like I think these guys are getting bigger laughs because they're going for credibility right now, right? They're trying to get credibility with the crowd when I'm trying To find out who I am as a person and if any you mother fuckers can understand what I'm talking about Like 47 becoming a dad. You used to have a bad drug problem Super sex addiction all these things and now I'm in charge of two little girls And like me trying to be the best man I can for not my just myself But for them like I don't want to embarrass these two people and I'm doing the best that I can like there's a Relateability to that. I'm not gonna say the name of the con but there's a comic out there that used to be super nova

And I hear now he's kind of struggling and I think It's because he hasn't Graduated to that next level of his life personally Like a lot of the jokes that he's doing are from you know, when we were all running the gun and hanging and banging, right? And now his crowd is much older They all have kids. They're all married with kids. That's what they will that's their mindset And if you can't you know, you can't keep doing the same act the only constant in the universe has changed if you're not

Adapting and changing with the times like for me to go up there and just do the same act that I did as a kid You know, it would just Just completely fail On stage because that's not who I am right now The truth is that like I'm not a sexual dynamo anymore. I'd rather go to bed. Okay I used to do a ton of drugs after this show. I'm going right back to the hotel grabbing a hamburger and doing nothing You caught me at the row. I have all this power now and I don't want anything to do with it I just want to go to bed and wake up sober in the morning

Pray write down my goals do my yoga do all this stuff that like 10 years ago I would be like laughing at this guy, but that's who I am now and it resonates with people because you know, I mean You know just all the craziness used to do with people and all the craziness you do with women and now you see them on facebook They're like, I got free kids. You're like used to be a fucking savage It's growth man And if you don't grow and your act doesn't grow with you Your job isn't to get the fucking 20 year olds anymore

Your job is to get the people who relate to you and they're probably around your age demographic If you get some 20 year olds in there who appreciate what you talk then that's great too But to be like running and gunning and trying to get these 20 year old, you know, I like it's it's to be in your late 40s Early 50 and still be doing pop comedy. I think you've lost it You got to really get honest and that's what again Authenticity is the key to growth in comedy and entertainment people want to connect with you with real shit They want to be like that's some real shit that guy just dropped on stage And I think that's why you resonate with everybody and when you do want to go back

To doing stand up. What if that day ever comes? People are going to be just thirsty to hear what coco has to say and because you always give the real shit And that's why it was always so hard to follow you because it's like it's my I mean, dude I used to one of the biggest bombs I ever had was following you at a joe rogan show in san san osa You did literally 10 to 15 minutes on ass eating and I had to ask myself Do I have anything that can touch that and according to the crowd there was nothing I go I had to follow joe ds at a joe rogan concert. That's like middling for van halen and the opening act is david lee roth It's gonna be a rough set dog, you know, but that's because you got this authenticity

Way earlier than a lot of us got it now to my best of my ability. I live in that and You know, I think that's why I'm resonating with people right now You're doing a great. I remember going to see you when you had that Show with the chicks and on stage and the whole fucking thing And you were up on stage and I walked in it was at the improv arie was there and I remember going arie was in awe like he was just standing like typical arie, you know, he stands like that like You know, and I walked in and he was just watching and he was giggling and I go, what's up, man? He goes, it's great to see triply doing triply

Like look at this there's women and playboy and fucking this guy and It was great, dude It's uh, it's been an education sam. I miss you I'm happy dude. I love you so much brother I mean like when you left I cried and I still am sad about it But seeing how you were seeing you right now talking with you right now And just seeing like you're glowing dude. I couldn't be happier from you And it's like sometimes you got to let shit go to grow in life and that seems what's happened to you

And you know, I haven't been able to see you since all this chaos, but I know one day We're gonna pow wow together hug talk mad shit and And I love each other and you know, I mean like I love you the pieces. I'm so happy your movie rock You were fucking great in it. I didn't enjoy watching you get shot that kind of fucked me up But outside of that it was a fucking great experience. You know, I love you man I know I'm a little crazy, you know with the conspiracy stuff But some people don't call me anymore and they don't talk to me anymore Everything I do is I love but you never left me and I'm always appreciative of you

And uh, if anyone's listening to me come see me in Miami this weekend. All right, go see him Wait at the improv I'm at the dude. I got to go to Miami I just want to go to south beach and see how many chicks I recognize from fucking bang bus, you know, so that's why I'm going It's always a fucking pleasure to go to Miami you see some shit that You go up paid to do it is like at the end of the day We're living pretty nice, dude. Last time I went to Miami was Thanksgiving weekend 2019 And I saw a girl there

At the improv that I had like this is what you're talking about. I had to take a double look In 1999 to bring new years in They were at the improv and coconut grove these girls. It was her and another chick with gigantic tits And I had my girlfriend with me at the time not my wife had a different girlfriend. This is 98 99 and We start talking and my girlfriend was one of these fucking strippers who would talk to other women at that big tits And they you know, she'd attract these fucking lunatics and You know, all of a sudden

My girl's like listen they're coming back with us You know, I'm in the fucking now we go back to the hotel And we're in the little fucking room there and I don't know. These two girls are talking now. I'm concerned with my girlfriend. I really don't care about the two I'm not gonna do nothing to them So I what do I care? My girlfriend's here, didn't you understand? But it didn't turn out that way Next thing, you know, we're doing blow. I go to the bathroom

I come out and the two chicks with the big tits are eating each other out 69 and And my girlfriend's there with a whip and I'm like, what the fuck is this? She's like suck his dick You know and the chick was hamlin they both passed out and then the next morning we had to wake up And they're on the floor naked and when they saw me they were like covering themselves I don't even remember you from last night I saw that crazy bitch when I went the last time So that's what you're talking about these crazy bitches that were crazy 20 years ago and now they show up on their moms

They got a wagon now with two car seats and a fucking and an art thing in the back So they could paint at the park or whatever the fuck it is. So Yeah, and when I saw we both locked eyes and the last time before that I went to miami This is in 2014. I went and the improv was closed for a while So they were still doing shows like a burger place big room pretty cool And the last night there i'm walking off and I see this girl She comes up to me

She goes, how are you? Good good, you know, I just thought it was a general. How are you? Like just some ladies saying how are you when I looked at her? I kind of remember that like her face, but she had gotten big like she had gained like 50 pounds over the years And I go, how do I know you and she goes We had a threesome in 1998. I'm like, oh, I remember that one her and a chubby chick And the chubby chick was fucking, you know, you can't touch it. She's huge And I'm all coked up and the chubby chick's like come in come in so I had to go through her first

And I just wanted to start I didn't want to do the chubby So I waited till the chubby chick left. I played like sick I don't feel good And the chubby chick wasn't at the door and I was on top of the blonde And while I'm on top of the blonde the chubby chick comes back because she forgot her fucking cup or cheese burger And she's like What's going on in here? I thought you were sick. I got the chick on 69 in them I got the cape on and shit and she's like, you just didn't want to be with me. I wanted to be with you

I'm like, listen, I was sick while you is like And she ran out and I ended up with the blonde chick for a week until I left And the blonde chick took me out to dinner and said lose my number I'm getting married next month Oh, dude, these these hose and gage to I once had two 300 pound chicks eat my feet That was one of the the weirdest threesomes I've ever had. They're like, gee, we just want to lick your feet I'm like, are you gonna throw some fucking blue cheese on that shit, too? Who might have judged I'm a fucking thick monkey right now too. So love to all the big ladies out there

You know, God bless you. I think big chicks have tighter vaginas. Anyways, it's those those tiny chicks have fucking pringle cans for pussies Chubby chicks do have tight pussies because they just give blow jobs. Nobody wants them lurking You got to go in that ass with a crowbar. You know what I'm saying? If you don't got a crowbar, you're gonna bust that muffler You can't bust the seal. You got to get in there. It's hot in there I love your sam trips No ideas. You're the best ever do it. I love you the pieces and I hope someday soon we could see each other in person I'll see you at the gojo. When is the special coming out the specials out? Just go to sam tripley dot com All three of my specials are there the two specials I shot at the viper room and my brand new

I'm not like this is literally the only show I've ever promoted. I just want people to find it It's called no lives matter and uh, we just light everybody up and it's a great hour and I'm very proud of it So if you want to watch a great hour, it's about 38 minutes or you want to watch a 38 minute special go check it out Sam trips. I was there when you walked into that fucking store when you were 20 whatever the fuck you were so It's been a pleasure to see you grow up into a man. I love it. How the girls the girls are bad Blessed I'm just I can't believe I'm a girl dad to two two two girls two little girls Know me as dad and that like is such It's such a blessing and it's like, you know, it's hard to go on the road now

man Because I'd rather be a home with them. So I picked my times go on the road and they take raising them very personal I want to be the best dad and I just want to raise Ninjas which by the way, my daughter's names are ghost and ninja triply. So it is what it is brother Trips. I love you. I'll be in touch. Stay black. Say hello to eddie for me. Thanks for having me on bud I love you so much. You're the best. I miss you Love you All right, you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed sam triply. He's one of my best fucking buds and uh

He ended up becoming a fucking savage and that's what when we walked in that store That's what we wanted To come out of savage, you know, you go in one door you come out the back door And you're ready for podcasts movies tv shows arenas whatever they put out you that's what the county store preps you for I love you motherfuckers. Thank you very much For watching today and listening whatever the fuck you're doing. Maybe you download it Maybe you're watching on youtube as long as you're fucking have joy dears in your heart I don't give a fuck how you put it in there. Stay black. Have a great weekend laughing gas is on fire

Me and mike were just talking about it. That's it. And that's that have a great weekend now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors jack All right, we're back here. I want to thank my brother Mr. Sam triply for coming on and dropping some tremendous knowledge And I want to thank you guys for always supporting the podcast before I leave A little word from our sponsors from the heart of new jersey to join us brought to you by draft kings listen Draft king sportsbook is the best. That's all I could say They're the official

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I want to thank md hearing aids. I want to thank lucy.co I want to thank Better help and I want to thank cbd line for always having our back But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for always having our back. Thank you For listening to the joint. Thanks for sam triply and I love you motherfuckers with all my heart I'll see you guys monday morning eight am seven am tip top motherfucking magoo. Stay black. I love you You