Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #109 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, October 25th..... This episode is brought to you by Better Help, Onnit & Bluechew….. Go to https://www.BlueChew.com Promo Code: JOEY & Try For Free! Just $5 for Shipping! Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY or JOINT Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIAZ Use PROMO CODE: DIAZ for 10% OFF your 1st Month! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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we got a fucking slingsome dick with taking prisoners we're like fucking vietnam you understand i love you cock suckers let's get this party started check one two welcome to uncle joey's joint do what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's Monday October the 25th six days away from fucking Spookyville and the whole thing it was a great fucking weekend I had a great week thank you for being here thank you for checking in let's open up the week with fucking ice cream shop has got the blunts in stock

they went in partnership with Packwood's laughing gas is now in a blunt and let me tell you something I hope you love your eyes because I had to actually hold an eye while I was smoking this motherfucker your eye is gonna fly the fuck out I want to thank fucking pipe freeze for sending us a bong freeze pipe.com for sending us a new pipe and a little fucking smoker for my man Mike Klein there so now he's at home doing bong I love when I give Mike weed like I don't even have to fucking ask him if the weed is good I just wait a night and look at his artwork when I see that a picture of a devil fucking a monkey I'm

like that weed is good you know I'm saying I'll watch some of the Rogan posters and shit and I go this weed is fucking hold me up yeah they're out there because I'm giving them the weed of death there's one day I woke up he wrote three songs he composed a fucking album overnight I woke up at 8 in the morning he's like I wrote an album and performed the last night what the fuck Mike don't like I gave him that weed he gets like Lee memory used to smoke he's come up with business ventures I got a new idea for floatable donuts you know shit like that there was always something every time you gave him good

weed they go home and they come back with a fucking a guitar you know they come home with something they come back with song I thought you needed a guitar that's fucking tremendous so yeah it's it's always great to smoke some good reefer on the fucking weekend at dog it was a great I posted a picture the other day since I have moved here people have been telling me about this restaurant El Nido Joe you gotta go to El Nido Joe you gotta go to El Nido it's close to my house when I go to the gym I have to drive by there and I see the they have like little boots outside that you could sit with your girlfriend just along

the booth if you want they could they close the curtains for you I love that shit when I first got into comedy I used to do comedy a place called the broker great fucking restaurant I loved it till this day I'm very loyal to them they won't let me back in the place to do comedy but you know some people have short memories you know saying everybody says everybody says they're a Christian but they don't practice what they preach and I'm saying so they had four restaurants they had like the broker in Boulder they had the broker in like Aurora every one of them had a different name but they had the broker

in Denver and it was called the woman's bank and you're like the woman's bank until you went down there for starters the broker when you sit down they open up with a back with a fucking not a cup not a not a thing not like a soup bowl I wish I was exaggerating to you they'd open up with a manhole cover filled with shrimp Katrina shrimp you know the ones I'm talking about the ones you dip in soy sauce not soy sauce cocktail sauce if you eat 20 of those you're gonna shit blood because they don't clean them they're just a little geeky ones but you know what when you're 31 and broke you will eat those motherfuckers like that

filet mignon you know I'm gonna throw them up in the air like fucking just lick them out of the air I would go to the broker just for the fucking shrimp and they would bring you a bowl but the thing about the ladies bank was the woman's bank I take a date with me come on dog when you're young you're doing a couple fucking bumper ruse you close the curtains you eat a monkey and then breakfast is served you know I'm saying boom the way that comes my anthem I come in absolutely you pull up a little pantyhose and you sit down you eat your fucking shrimp you 20 shrimp you got a hot on and you close the curtain again

and give another stab and doggie style nobody knows nothing who gives about the flower in her shirt it's a little fucked up you swished it you know I'm saying you smushed it fuck it but I like that shit when you could close a curtain and stuff not that I wouldn't do anything perverted down there but I'm saying that so it seemed interesting to me you know I'm like that curtains then I joined the pool and at the pool there were these little fucking old dudes that were retired but there was this one dude a Jewish dude sweetheart Phil he would always talk to me about restaurants this guy would spit out restaurants from

Boston Iowa because he traveled for a living so he that was his thing was hunting down restaurants you know this guy could tell you like I asked him about a restaurant he's like what would you think about the fountain when somebody tells you what do you think about the fountain they looked at all the details like they like that shit you know there's people who live for that shit and he was telling me that that restaurant is in the top five restaurants in Jersey he goes I did the math he goes this is what I do this guy's retired he goes out to dinner five nights a fucking week all over the place plus my man

Dave baton debut orthopedics I'm gonna give him a shout out he helped me with my knee he's trying to help me with my right and left knee now to get the arthritis out of there debut orthopedics that motherfucker knows every slice of pizza every meatball from here to fucking Delaware it's unbelievable and he was telling me like since the beginning even we've got the different dinners he would go dog I'm gonna take you tell me don't want to take you tell me though but then I heard mixed reviews people are like it's really good but it's not my type Italian food and I get it and then people are saying well they don't give

you big servings and I get it it's fine dining what are you a fucking gorilla go to Burger King if you want to eat all you want to eat you know you gotta have some fucking cadence thing you're fucking like what are you fucking so I finally me and my wife you know we try to do a date night once a month I mean with the kid we were out all the time eating with the kids and shit you know medium-range restaurants wings pizzas I get the salads shit like that but you know you got to take them to a carpet joint from time to time you know I'm saying you got to take them to a rug joint you know fine dining fucking some

guy playing a violin not that they're playing a violin they'll need oh they don't need to play a violin they don't need no fucking gimmicks or nothing so fucking Thursday night me and my wife went down there holy shit that's all I could say holy shit first off it's all organic the owner his name is Joe he's a 78 year old Joe Rogan it's like if Joe Rogan was 78 years old when they bring you every dish they explain the history to you of that dish and what region of Italy it came from now you guys know me a long time you ever see those waiters they bring you a glass of wine and you have to taste it then they stand there

and say yeah just pour the fucking glass well you know I'm one of those fucking gorillas to you know I'm saying but it was just sharp like from the minute you walk in there we sat down fucking you would never hear this word out of me the ambiance is tremendous when he came over he confirmed it you know I have a problem hearing that's why I have those hearing aids I have a problem when I go to a restaurant when two people when I'm talking to Mike let's say at a restaurant I don't really hear Mike I hear the dishwasher in the back slamming I can hear the cooks talking because my hearing is fucking off so when I go to a

restaurant nine out of ten times the food better be good because if not it's an uncomfortable situation for me I'm unfunc and comfortable there like I can't hear so when you're talking to me not this place and when Joe the owner came over talking he explained to me that he installed something in the ceiling so all the sound gets out just way ahead of the fucking curve way ahead of the curve all their ingredients are 85% imported I mean you got to taste this shit he grows all his vegetables so when you put a vegetable like whatever you think a green bean tastes like when you taste it in there it's what it should taste like

the fucking chicken in there it just breaks off it's it's those chickens that have not been kicked you know those chickens that people were nice to them like they pet them and played like flute music to like Jettro Tull goes over there when they're in their cages and he plays a little soft flute music and he throws fucking rose water at them these are the chickens they fucking like they give you like as you're killing them you're crying because you feel bad they know how to say the ABCs they're that type of fucking chickens the chicken melts it's like chicken from 30 years ago like before the steroids and everybody

fucked up chicken started putting shit in chicken and now it has that weird taste to it but you eat it like a fucking animal because there's nothing better than fried chicken you don't give a fuck when you're eating fried chicken but the chicken everybody I talked to said when I go to El Nido what should I eat and I said eat the chicken I'm like it's fucking fine dining who eats the chicken while I went Thursday night Friday night we had a kids party that was really cool they showed a movie outside it was great Saturday I took it a kickbox and did what I had to do Saturday night a buddy of mine from

North American called me old school 40 years ago the whole fucking deal he called me in the afternoon said he hadn't been out in two weeks I said to him I don't know what to tell you I'm not fucking I don't own studio 54 anymore you know what I'm saying yeah I don't know what to tell you I can't do nothing for you you don't get out you got to get the fuck out I had a birthday party to go to last night with the kids and shit so I said to him listen if you want to come down here their family these people you come over with me or come on down it's a 45-minute drive for you clear your head and you've been in the house all fucking

weak clear your coconut and we'll go get a bite to eat or something something small I had already eaten lunch had already a protein shake when he called I wasn't really that hungry but I fucking said fuck it we'll figure something out sure enough he showed up around seven o'clock and we called the restaurant that he wanted to try and the restaurant was sold out he goes what type of fucking guy you know don't you have any connections to get meals I don't know anybody so I said but we weren't telling the other night the owner Joe gave me a card and he said to call him that he's always got a spare table I go even if we

have to sit outside do you want to go to Anita and he goes yeah I'll try it we went we had a fucking blast last night we were there for two hours no I had a little taste of red wine just a perfect fucking amount they give me a headache I didn't get sick I had some spaghetti I ate light last night a little spaghetti half a serving and I had a piece of fish zero motherfucking points of shit and we laughed our asses off I took some pictures of some people I laughed with some people and we were home by 9 fucking 30 you know he goes to sleep fucking early so I came home and I watched fucking Atlanta beat the shit out

of Dodgers what a shame that was last night the fucking Dodgers spent all this money on a fucking baseball team you know it's like I go to say to you guys you get the most expensive coaches in the world but if you ain't got no fucking you know whatever nah you only tell what happened with them I think don't think they won a lot of games they played a lot of fucking games and they would just beat up they would just beat up it's it's the season starts in fucking February April you know they're throwing pitches and catches and it's a long fucking season and with baseball to win a world series you all have to come

together in October it's a big it's like a 50-50 shot you go out you get all these fucking players you get out you get all these pitches and come October September everybody's fucking hurt it's a long season so that's why you they make those mid-season trades before you all start game you bench these people you let them get out of their fucking rotation a little bit and then you start them again and hopefully they're on fire you know when you have a team of nine people you eliminate the pitcher that's eight people eight bats are coming up I need three of them to be fucking hot I don't care which three I just need three

bats to be hot that's how the Yankees wanted for years that's how they were playing great ball you come together in October like when I was doing comedy stand up all the time towards the end my pieces are really coming together it takes a while but you either you either fall apart in October you're tired your injuries little nagging injuries you pulled the muscle in your shoulder I think that bullpen if you watch the game on Saturday night what was shocking to me was that the Dodgers pretty much put in their best fucking reliever that big fucking African-American dude that throws fucking heat in the top of the

eighth inning and he threw two pitches and a motherfucker to hit him with a double like when you put your best reliever on there and somebody blast the fucking double off you in the eighth inning and he came in fresh and this guy's been playing since the first inning they lost that you could see it if you watch the game Saturday night once he threw that fucking pitch and the dude he just all the oxygen went out it was over the game was over the series was over I'm not mad at anybody they played a fucking great game Atlantic I nobody fucking saw him coming and that's what the World Series is about

is about you get one popular team in there and one team that nobody saw coming we call it what you want a Cinderella and that's what makes it beautiful if it was the Houston Astros against the Yankees who gives a fuck this is an interesting World Series so I don't know what you're doing for the World Series if you want to click on DraftKings right now they have they have a link that you could just bet the series if you just don't want to bet the set five games or whatever you could just click on a link bet fucking Atlanta Braves or the Houston Astros and knock yourself to fuck out I'm gonna watch the

games I'm excited now we got a little fucking we got a little fucking football we got a little fucking World Series ball we got a little NBA ball we got it all guys things are fucking happening and they're moving fucking quickly when I wanted to talk to you guys about today the thing that everybody's talking about here that what the fuck is this why do I always fuck myself up does anybody fucking know why I fuck myself up it doesn't that laughing gas fucked me up this weekend plus I've been fucking doing those they sent me some tinctures you know I gotta switch up the shit like I was doing ABX's to go to

sleep I switched it up because your body gets fucking tolerant of it I switched it up from ABX I did the right thing I want from ABX and I switched it up to a tincture which let's say if I want to go to bed 1130 I got to drop these tinctures at nine o'clock it takes a while for them to eat you it's like a fat dude that's old throwing a punch at you it's gonna take like eight years for it to land and shit because he's fat he's breathing heavy but once it fucking lands on you but boom it's all over but the fucking shot it's crazy how I'm watching baseball I'm doing things I haven't done in 30 years and I'm doing

things I never did at all like this has just been fucking a great time for me just to take this breather guys you don't know you have no fucking idea what I've gone through the last 30 fucking years working being on sets podcasting dealing with ages did you know what man it's been nice to take a breather it's been nice to find the real joey Diaz it's been nice to unwind it's been nice to just when your life I'm I miss so many things in my fucking life I missed them because I had a mission and that's okay I could deal with that then but I can't deal with it now I got one foot in the grave one a banana peel I don't know

when this is gonna fucking end but I'm doing things I'm smelling things I'm seeing things that I have not seen in 30 years my life you know this makes me realize how much of a commitment I had towards stand-up comedy and to become a great stand-up comic it takes a lot of commitment it takes a lot of your hours it takes a lot of time and it's kind of nice to unwind to see what the fuck you are but I'll tell you what it's also kind of refreshing to know that even as as now as I'm writing a couple jokes here and there I'm writing from a new perspective it's not about a stinky muffler anymore you know I had to grow

my comedy had to grow so I had to get that that vocabulary out of my fucking game I don't know if you guys understand what the fuck I'm going with this but that's what needed to be done when I found myself going back to Uncle Vinnie's like last January even though I had taken an eight-month break I had no material so I was going back to the not doing old material but I was talking about old shit of me living in California that was part of me wanting to take a break also I wanted to reprogram my fucking head I wanted to you know why it rewired my brain I was intelligent enough to take a look and go I got a

back off a little bit I got a shit pop has got to show up with a brand new band do you know I'm saying you just can't fucking show up and be doing the same thing with the different three people you got to show up with something you got to so it's been great I've gotten a chance to fucking step back smell the roses you know like what the fuck is going on in the words of Jim Morrison take a look around say which way the wind blow with a little girl in a Hollywood bungalow you know I'm saying you got a fucking you know so I didn't want to come off the fucking ship and just run out there getting led by my nose I wanted to

take my time see what the fuck was going on and I appreciate that you guys appreciate that that I didn't even know what the fuck was happening and now I feel so much better about it and part of it listen guys and I was when Mike came in today I was talking to a friend of mine who called me he's going through a hard part right now and he said to me you know is it do you think the therapy helped you and I go no there was a couple of events and a couple things that had to happen for me to get there but everything combined you know when you go to jiu-jitsu right let's just take jiu-jitsu for example I'll take stand-up

comedy when you take jiu-jitsu to example for example it's not just going to class it's not just going to class you got to eat good you got to drink water you got to fucking sleep good you got to fucking lift weights you got to run a little bit for cardio you got to do all these different things to make who the fuck you are with me it's acupuncture jiu-jitsu lifting weights spending time with my family spending time with my friends sleeping smoking good reefer all these things contribute you know my reefer intake has been down I mean fucking way down one joint a day way down Friday Ari came down I got to

tell you something I bought a round of applause I smoked before two o'clock me and Ari smoked one of those fucking whatever and one of the laughing gas blunts from Packwood and we went to the Seshwan fucking place we had some chicken what's that thing he likes General Tows chicken extra spicy I can see his yarmulke fly right the fuck off we had some nice rice I had some nice fucking I had the chicken and shrimp with string beans delicious no point three points for the sauce yeah and six for the rice yeah it's a little bit of rice we had a little egg drop soup Ari had some fucking egg rolls with fucking

tons of mustard on it that motherfucker loves his food spicy and then we came up here we sat around we fucking play with his dog my daughter play with his dog it was a very nice little afternoon we just sat got a little vitamin D and chitchat it that's it very therapeutic as they say you know I'm saying just a little something to get the party started but I don't want you guys to think that it was everything it was everything when I was going through my little fucking spell there there was every time Mike was coming up I thought I call him Mike and go Mike I can't do this I can't handle doing I still remember

telling Mike Mike I'm gonna go on medication I need your help watch me from time to time if you see me going off the deep end turn off the fucking camera and stop the button nothing we've been fine but I told them I made them aware what I was going on and it was so fucking weird where my head was at I mean between my anxiety I was telling Ari had that little touch of depression like thank God I'm the type of dude that the first thing I do when I wake up is wash my pussy depression does not like showers they want you to be dirty and greasy and that's what I do as soon as I get up in the morning you take that

cup of coffee you take a shower when you force yourself to go out and thank God I would go to the gym and it was fucking uncomfortable as shit with the anxiety but I didn't give a fuck I knew that the end result would be great I had been feeling a lot fucking better lately I mean 200 fucking percent better my sense of humor is back I feel lighter on my feet I feel fucking stronger and I thank everybody who supported me along the way I thank my wife I thank Michael you know I came clean with all my friends and told them what I was going through that needed that you know I watch triggers you know anything that

would set me off I learned how to get in my car and I learned listen when you're trying to get back on your feet when you're trying to get back mentally you have to take everything in you know I had to start over again I gave the edibles a breather I started sleeping again I gave the reefer a breather just to see what would work you know what what works for me you know what smoking dope all day doesn't work for me but smoking a joint at night never killed nobody never killed nobody you understand me a little too to do it's about 10 o'clock watch TV till midnight you're fucking fine but I rolled it all

together with better help I don't know if you guys know this your joint is sponsored by better help online therapy the best way to think about therapies like this all right we all get all changes to our cars to prevent bigger issues down the road Sarah therapy is the same thing for you but it's for your fucking brain going to therapy is routine maintenance for your mental and emotional well wellness prevent bigger issues down the road that's what I did so that's how it's helped me better help calm my girl Dana we hook up once a week 845 a.m. on Mondays I started off on a Monday so I get all the bullshit

out from the weekend so already today I've talked to fucking Dana she's on she's probably dancing some fucking party right now I did my little chitchat I got whatever and I talked to about hangs and hangs in the fences that's it so if you got a fucking problem right now and you need some help you need to talk to somebody other than your friends better help is customize online therapy they offer video phone and even chat sessions with your therapist you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want it it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you could start communicating with your therapist in 48

hours why invest in anything else when you can invest in your fucking self just for you joint family listeners I'm gonna give you 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash Diaz D I a Z that's better help calm slash Diaz I'm gonna give you a 10% off your first month whether you do two sessions or four sessions I don't care what you do take control of your life and get the help you deserve with better help let's drop that on you just so you know where I'm coming from today I want to talk to you guys about something that I know that you've all read about the last couple days I'm gonna break it down for you and

tell you the truth about it I don't give a fuck about who gets mad or who doesn't get mad last week something happened that fucked everybody up with Alec Baldwin shooting the DAD on the set in Santa Fe New Mexico you know man and everybody's pointing fingers Alec Baldwin and shit because you know Alec Baldwin has created this aura around him we's always got to say creepy shit and act fucking creepy so people want to put him under the jail listen Alec Baldwin is a fucking creepy guy and his ego got control of him and it's fucked up but now I want you know I went to California six months ago I had to see the dentist I didn't see

my heart doctor and I had to go see the weed people and when I was when I finished and I was waiting to get back on the plane I called my man Dean Del Rey and I asked Dean if he wanted to go eat and Dean came we went we got some Mexican food we got some potato tacos he brought his cute little dog and we just bullshit we just bullshitted about life and what was going on and how he was feeling I was still fucked up I was going through my bullshit we had a great chat and we walked outside and while we were outside just sitting on Burbank Boulevard in front of the hotel Dean goes hey man before I leave can we take a

picture I go absolutely Dean so we take a fucking picture and he put it on Instagram when I got on the plane that night I was just checking shit I checked Instagram and I saw the picture that he had put up of him and I and under there was a little comment and the guy goes there he is you know whatever he wrote like a thing about me there he is the man of steel there goes a man at a time that wasn't scared of anything but today he's scared of everything and I looked at that comment whatever it is what it is some guy and I thought about it I go you know what maybe he's right no way you know I never had any fear of much

and the watching the news and this fucking whatever was going on got under my fucking skin plus with my vulnerability and that's it I built up this fucking anxiety maybe that's what happened but I thought about it in a deeper sense you know like what the fuck is going on with me why don't I want to do this why don't I want to do that well yes I was scared but I also knew one thing last year I moved here in August and about October my phone started ringing not a big you know not a big shock it just started ringing with little offers for movies TV shows it was more TV shows okay and it was like a TV show

in North Carolina that and they kept pressing the issue they really want you to read for it there was a movie in the Dominican Republic that they wanted me to do about Cuba there was a movie going on and somewhere in Arizona that reached out to me like a TV show and there was a TV show on ABC that reached out to me an ally at the time my head was like you know what man I just got here I just fucking got here I don't really want to get on a plane and start traveling all over the fucking country that's not what I want to do so that was my mindset but then I spoke to a dear friend of the joint podcast I spoke to a

dear friend of the church podcast great friend of mine Greg Garcia we were just chit-chatting and Greg told me he had a show on Amazon which I just shot two months ago maybe and he was telling me that you know these shows they require $400,000 per episode with COVID COVID adds an added cost of $400,000 to a TV show per episode guys so if you do 10 episodes of your TV show it's gonna cost you four million dollars in COVID expenses you like Joey how can that be well what used to be a van to take me Mike my wife Mercy you your wife your kid to whatever now we can't eight people can't get in a van it's gotta be one

person for van if you want to be cheap I was on a job where they put four people in a fucking van okay again this is what I'm saying to you so I had shot the Sopranos I saw I had heard what it cost them for those five days we shot just for COVID and I was blown away but let me give you an example they put us in a fucking hotel in Midtown Manhattan that was gorgeous they rented the whole hotel you couldn't just rent like eight rooms they had a rent like the whole hotel I was basically on a floor by myself they had a contractor room that had a little bit of like it was outside but really inside what do you call that

like like yeah like a room that could open up so I could go in there I mean it was the end of spring it was the end of fall it was kind of nice out so they you know that we could all go in there nobody would get COVID but there was I I'm saying he was me John maybe Mike Gandafini Samson if I say I think your boy you know Ray Liotta there was maybe eight of us in the whole hotel how many fucking rooms in the hotel let's say there's six rooms on a floor if there's 12 rooms that's 60 fucking floor 60 rooms there was eight people in the hotel the hotel was catering to us eight they had two New York City cops at

the front door that that's a detail you got to pay those motherfuckers they went and got us anything we wanted to like if we said we need deodorant they would go to CVS and get us deodorant they also had to drive each of us individually to different rooms and then we had to get tested and then we were put into general population after an hour and even then they didn't want you mixing and matching you had a COVID fucking lady there was they're supposed to have three COVID agents on a job site again this is what I heard the many saints in Newark had like fucking eight or nine of them so I felt safe when I did the many saints in

Newark and I saw how they were doing something how they were doing the whole COVID thing I felt really safe so I was like fuck it you know this is great I had no problems you know you have to wear a mask the whole time the only time you don't wear a mask is after you get tested when they're about to shoot your scene and I mean you go into the scene with your fucking mask on and some of you lady or yell take your mask off and real quick you got to put it in your pocket and then you shoot the scene and she'll say mask back on and you got to put your mask back on where you're waiting there so they could adjust adjust

that fucking light over there and that flower that's fucking blocking the camera so now I got to wait there with my mask on and then take the fucking mask off and then shoot the scene again it's a fucking nightmare but it keeps everybody safe you don't want to have a contaminated set so once I did the Sopranos I was like you know what they went fucking deep because you know David Chase is up there in the years you know director was a little older whatever they went all out there was no craft services there's no craft services there's no truck with M&Ms in it no more that you go home do you have marshmallow

flavored marshmallows you know cuz although the bigger the movie the more shit they got peanut M&Ms you know they have a bag with no red M&Ms in case you're in Van Halen they got everything on those big movie sets so that ended they give you a thing the night before and you have to fucking order your dinner and that's it they give you a container with two meatballs I got spaghetti and meatballs they gave me two meatballs pasta and a fucking salad I believe it in my community that's what they give you there's no more craft service so what I'm trying to say to you is when I got all these calls to go to

North Carolina blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I go why aren't these guys shooting an LA I know why see when you shoot somewhere outside of LA it's a little bit more lax they said they were going to find places regions where the COVID numbers will lower than you know usual that's not it they're shooting in locations to be out of LA so they have an excuse that we didn't know what was going on out there it's like when they shot caddy shot and they went to Florida and they fucking walked into a Coke party and then years later they were like we didn't know what was going on down there and they didn't they didn't that's

why you shoot in fucking Florida because California is here and Florida is all the way down here in West Palm Beach one of the chances of fucking paramount going back and forth to fucking Florida so they just left them alone and shooting I like shooting on location I like when people call me and say we're shooting here we're shooting there it's kind of fucking nice but it makes a guy like me think so that I wasn't scared of COVID to say more I was scared because I know you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing and I know you're gonna cut back the producers are so greedy what do you think they're gonna take a pay cut you

know who this is gonna affect the fucking actors food hotels everything that goes that they're gonna try to bullshit you they're gonna try to put Mikey and Joey in the same hotel room you guys hang out together why don't you guys bunk together it's a great idea no it's not I don't want to smell a man's fart and he shouldn't smell my fucking feet you follow me and then they hate you with see what you guys don't know at home is that yeah they pay you 600 a day to shoot a movie 640 a day you got to pay 10% to your agent it's great fucking money that's the hollywood you signed up for that's the hollywood I signed up

for I took a chance and not having a full-time job but when I do work you're gonna pay me a little extra I take that chance in life that this is that's a decision I make but when you get the fucking hollywood you do a couple scale movies and then they start hitting you by the ways oh this is a sag whatever contract that means it's not scale it's $456 okay 450 a day I could live with that you could all live with that that's a nice figure but then they have 250 day movies and that's okay you know you're just getting started and acting who the fuck are you Charleston has been somebody fucking knows you know you take

the 250 you know I'm saying then fucking a lot of people don't know is they have a thing called low budget and I got bad news for you guys that think that you know I have a helicopter they pay a hundred a fucking day okay and you work all fucking day they give you overtime after a certain amount it's a kink fucking deal and get ready hold on to your seats they also have an ultra low budget contract which is $50 a day now I'm sure you went to acting class and you went to fucking college for four years to study drama and to study theater so you could get out and make $50 a day on a fucking movie I'm sure when you made

the decision to be a fucking actor that was included in it how you're gonna make $50 a fucking day I can make 50 fucking dollars a day pumping gas and fucking hess down the fucking corner so $50 a fucking day meanwhile that produces driving a fucking Porsche and I drove here in my fucking Toyota because my skateboard is getting serviced you know I'm saying so do you understand where I'm going with this these motherfuckers are gonna take that 400,000 for COVID the first off they're gonna fight to get a deal they're the cheapest cock suckers in the world so they're gonna fight to get a deal they're gonna tell you they

paid 400,000 that's not what they paid I don't know if you guys watch that episode of JRE with Rogan and Bill Burr when they discussed Hollywood accounting nobody remembers that conversation download that podcast again and take a look at that listen to that podcast with Joe and Bill they're called Hollywood accounting it always goes their way not your way doesn't go towards the actors way so Joey what does daddy have beaten have to do with Alec Baldwin think about it the girl's father who was the fucking gunsmith whatever that there's a name for it we're not even gonna go there gunsmith whatever like the

armorer the armorer girl who's 24 years old her father's a famous armorer they gave her the job she even said she wasn't skilled enough for the job she's 24 she didn't feel she even didn't want the job there's report surfacing now that she didn't want the fucking job but that's what they do they cut corners so instead of paying an armorer five grand what they're supposed to pay him they take that girl and they pay her a thousand a day and she don't know what she's doing the same one for the guy that was pulling the blunt the same you know they get a couple people that they get they're like the Yankees they're not

even like the Yankees they're like they get a couple people that are really good listen when you shoot a movie the DP has to be fucking great I could direct a movie I don't know what I'm doing when you see these this movies directed by George Clooney yeah he's got a DP you fucking assholes what's a DP Joy director photography that's the guy that decides on the cuts the whole thing then there's another guy decides on a budget the director goes in there to put a hat on with a fucking fee-feet thing like he's in France he's about to eat an apple and he's genius but the guy that's really doing the work is the

fucking DP and the first fucking camera guy and I don't know all the you know classy names from but I've been on 2,000 movies to let you know that those are guys are doing the work I've worked on a thousand projects where the guys the director you're not the fucking director they just gave you that title the guy that's running the show is that guy behind the fucking camera and that's what a lot of fucking people don't know so when you take them and if you looked at the fucking thing it's it said to you that Alec Baldwin was a producer on it and it was a low-budget movie and the reason why they give you a producer

credit on the low-budget movies is so you're attached to the film it gives you extra money they can't pay you what you want but if I make your producer you get extra money as a producer you going there blind you don't want to know what Mike is making I don't want to know what Joey Diaz is making in my heart I hope you ain't paying them shit because I hope that money is coming to me so when you look at this situation I'm not happy it happened because the girl Holly the ad lost a job the DP lost a life and I'm in a fucking job she lost a job her life Joe Souza the director of the thing got shot he spent the day in the

hospital where people are starting to read is that you guys know there was a walkout on that movie that morning because of unsafe conditions the gun had gone off three times two days prior guys I'm not scared of anything I just don't want somebody else to win the reason why I don't take movies in North Carolina I don't take movies and fucking anywhere else the only reason I did that TV show on Pittsburgh was because it was great Garcia and he was gonna take care of me and I gotta be honest he took great care of me the production was great but the production they hired in Pittsburgh was inexperienced how do I know that because

I know what experienced people fucking do there was a couple things they did that experienced people wouldn't do I didn't say anything I wasn't mad I'm not angry at it all it didn't affect me in any way but I saw that there was a lot of experience and that's what this is gonna call for you guys don't remember there was also a horrible fucking spill on a Markey Warburg Kevin Hart movie three or four weeks ago the guy died or he got really bad he fell or something like this guys yes it's COVID you're gonna see more of these you know the world is in a weird place right now I don't know if you read what Santana said that the

world is vomiting right now the world is not a good place right now you know you all witnessed Tom Segura go down while he was about to take a fucking layup who got he broke 18 fucking bones from a fucking layup that his wife went down you know Bert had surgery a bunch of fucking weird things have happened last night I was walking in the dark and I didn't see a fucking step and my leg went straight down if I wouldn't have kept my foot straight I wouldn't be talking to you right now I'd be getting surgery on my fucking ankle I was so grateful because my leg just dropped things are gonna happen that don't

usually happen in a real world I mean yes people get shot on sets the last one being Brandon Lee in 1993 or 92 or whatever the fuck that happened but this is what happens when you're not gonna pay everybody when you're gonna have you know that's what they do that you see they were taking people at the hotel rooms people were filing shit and this is why I won't take a job out of state because I'll take a job in New York you know why because if I don't like what I'm saying I get my car and I come home I don't bitch I don't yell I don't complain I know what you're gonna pay me up front it's not gonna be a lot I'm doing this as

a labor of love but if you're not doing this as a labor of love if you're doing this just to be in a movie you're trying to push this movie and you're in danger and people when you do a low-budget movie you're always putting people to fucking risk guys because you're doing this you could you need five million but you're doing this for 800,000 because you think it's gonna change your life or you think your story that you're telling in your stupid fucking movie is gonna do something for society it's not and that's why people are you don't mean fucking those hundred-dollar-day movies I've done let me tell you

what all those Halloween all those dog movies I did for Disney they were hundred dollars a day I did six of them I did Boiler Room I did if you look at my MDB there's gotta be $1,500 a day movies you know what happens now when you call me for a hundred dollar a day movie and it's I'm not gonna lie to you guys it started in 2013 I did not have a fucking acting career I was doing all these from 2007 that's all that came out after the strike was hundred dollar a day movies hey listen I put my pants on one leg at a time I like to act I like to practice my craft if it's a great project if you come to me with a great

project you're not gonna wear me to fuck out I'm not gonna have to be there 25 fucking hours a day for your stupidity if you guarantee me that I'll do your low-budget project you gonna get me out of there five or six days I'll do it for you but I swear to God since 2013 I made a decision one day in like 2012 I said I'm not doing low-run no low-budget movies no more to give you a hundred dollars a day I gotta bring my own suit they give you a hundred after taxes is 72 whatever it is 78 dollars and you still got to give you age and $10 commission that puts me at fucking the 68 dollars the dry cleaning for the suit

that's another 20 by the end of the fucking day you don't make a dime of course you do it as a labor love but you got to take care of me the movie Boilermaker I'm talking about I went in there one day three days in a row I'm in there they got like cheese wits you know the cheese crackers with the cheese in the middle the peanut butter in the middle they had like that and M&Ms but I'm looking at these fucking producers and then they did something that I never had heard of I'm like what's for lunch and they're like when I have lunch they go you but you're allowed to leave for an hour I was like what are you talking

about the fuck you thought the last thing you want to you act is to leave because what if they get in the car accident what if they get sideswiped not that they're gonna get hurt but you don't want them out you want them to relax bring them their food let them relax it can get their wits to them after three days then they made me work on a Sunday when I got there on a fucking Sunday again the table was empty I went in my wallet I had done the thing called the I don't know some project about a pizza place again that was the same way the first time I got there all night shoot there was a piece of bread on the

fucking table that's it with with peanut butter they brought them home you could tell the kids had fucking stuck their fingers in there and shit the next night there was a guy there from after the place look at the Taj Mahal they had peaches and cranberry juice and all this shit and I was talking to the guy and I go this wasn't like this last night he goes what are you talking about always like this there was nothing here I worked ten hours there was nothing to eat he gave me his car he goes I work for after that's why I'm here whenever you do these movies if they don't have the fucking shit on here call me and I'll

come and shut them down I'm like what so when I got on Boilermaker that Sunday Sunday now again when you make me work on a Sunday on a low budget movie that means I'm doing it for your for your fucking passion it's not for mine so do me a favor if there's supposed to be food here have food but go the extra amount stop and get some bagels for the cast what's gonna cost you 30 bucks to make everybody happy to show me you're on their side on the Lord's Day no they had nothing not a donut not a fucking cockroach that nothing I went off I'm like you motherfuckers got an hour before I called after they looked at me like

what do you mean you gonna call after I go listen I'm not a crime stopper but I'm about to join the ranks because I pay fucking union dues I pay union dues like a motherfucker I pay union dues every quarter and then yearly they bang out for one and a half points of what you made all year not to mention the ten points of you guys you guys have no fucking idea so when you guys are sitting there going how could this happen that Alec Baldwin listen I feel bad for Alec Baldwin he's about to get a dose of fucking reality inserted in his life he took a life that's a dose of fucking reality he doesn't deserve to go

to jail he didn't do anything wrong somebody gave him a gun told him it was clean now we have to find out why he was pointing it at her why he was pointing at him and that's a complete different story but why that happened is because why I'm telling you is because why I'm sitting my ass at home minding my fucking business people are cutting corners they charging you all the dough in the world whether you go to a hotel go to a hotel go on vacation and go on their web they got all the amenities shoe shine 24 hour valet wait till you get there or the pool is closed because of COVID we don't have a bartender

because of COVID the valets because of COVID we don't have oatmeal in the morning because of COVID we don't have a fucking breakfast anymore you come down and get an apple like a prisoner and a fucking and a fucking old fucking shop right bagel one of those tort fucking bagels you know they don't even give you that at the hotel this is happening across the board guys so before you go on your fucking vacation but you know when you do these concerts they're charging you more than ever do they have special filters for your fucking COVID breathing fuck no they're just telling you that's like the

airline people when they started charging you for luggage for the prices of fucking oil once oil went down that they give you that hundred dollar back or that 25 dollar back fuck no that's the same thing they're doing on movies and TV productions that's why I'm and then look at let's let's talk about it they're starting to say this shit they call it you know what these Gentiles call it is the word is toxic well let me tell you something anytime you have a star in those movies it's toxic why because they make a demand if they make one demand already you're gonna have a toxic environment why because let's say

I call the producer and go you want Joe Diaz Joe Diaz doesn't work nights now this motherfucker's gotta go okay I got to do early fucking mornings because Joey Diaz doesn't work nights so now I got to go to Mike who's a fucking Mike loves to stay up late at night and draw pictures of superheroes fucking monkeys in the ass now Mike has to get up at 6 in the fucking morning for this Mike's got two kids Mike takes his kids to school in the morning yeah he's used to but because Joey Diaz wants to be there at 6 Mike loses all this now Mike has to even get his cousin who he fucking hates to come over in the morning and

put the kids on the bus and give him $50 a day out of his pocket so how do you think Mike feels about Joe Diaz already when he comes to the guy and he goes listen I you're fucking up I can't do well this is the job maybe you take it you know Joe Diaz doesn't want to work nights so already Mike is going into that job kind of not liking Joe Diaz even though he's never met Joe Diaz he's Joe Diaz is costing Mike fucking money already so now he doesn't like Joe Diaz but two things could happen Joe Diaz could come and he's a great guy takes care Mike you know fucks around with them they talk about music Mike overlooks

it or I could come in and be a dick and now Mike is gonna tell the rest of the people what's going on with him and how I affected his fucking life and that's gonna cause a riff on the set that that's how just by him saying he doesn't want to work nights that's how quick a toxic person is I was reading something there by Holly Berry I'm sure you guys wrote that she was doing a movie and the guy said something to where the guy was eating pain pills he would disappear and eat pain pills the director and she called him out she asked him to get help they did an intervention on the set and the guy was a dick to her and

Holly Berry just said I'm getting my black ass out of here and she was describing a toxic fucking work set listen every fucking work set set I've been on has been toxic except the longest yard wasn't toxic many saints and Newark wasn't toxic taxi wasn't toxic I was only there three days you know Spider-Man had no nobody was toxic on there I mean whatever McGuire took him a little while to get out of the fucking out of the fucking thing because he was playing those stupid Nintendo games whatever he wouldn't fuck they would like where's

where's McGuire I don't know he's and they would yell Toby come out and he would go hold on I almost reached the sixth universe whatever the fuck they're going for in those fucking stupid games or whatever but that's you know I've never really worked I've worked on maybe I'm not gonna lie to you I've worked on maybe 20 of those toxic sets and they suck and you know what those toxic sets I've always gone off on you know toxic sets all those Halloween all those dog movies I did those sets were fucking toxic why because they were low budget the producer was one of the stars in a movie and he was a

fucking dick and they just dicks these guys are fucking dick so that's what makes a set toxic is when you have fucking dicks another movie I did whatever with the movie I did about that fucking dude who lived in a hotel who in Las Vegas who was a pilot and shit it didn't get much traction that set was fucking toxic and Alec Baldwin wasn't that movie in fact my scene was a lot of Baldwin they probably cut it but he was he's just a toxic fucking dude I'm not blaming Alex for the shooting I'm not saying he should go to jail you know we should go to jail the fucking produces the production company somebody's

got an answer for that girl obviously there was problems on that set people were dying to walk off that fucking set so my heart goes out to Alec Baldwin for what he's going through as as far as what's going through his head you know when you're a fucking dick full-time and something like that happens that's what you need to fucking wake you up now this would never happen if this was a regular world you know three people that you're getting high with and they just drop on the floor that doesn't happen in the regular fucking world how do I know I did coke for 29 years I did coke with a lot of fucking people in

the fucking room and never did I wake up and there was three fucking people dead that happens in this fucking pandemic because the world is on its fucking axis all these little stupid things that you see don't let them affect you it's just what happens in a COVID fucking world that's it it's just bad luck that's why I don't take any chances if you're on a ladder don't reach for the plant because you might fall the fuck off that ladder it's like I told you motherfuckers I was at the gym one day and I went to fucking pick up like a bar with 190 pounds I was just about to pick it up and I saw that video of

fucking Segura hitting the floor and I go this is the chances you don't need to take like I said to you motherfuckers there's a movie something that interests me I'll go do it but I'm very fucking cautious I'm very cautious of things I just I didn't want you guys to think that I was being like fucking scared or prima donna I just don't want to do them because why would I want to do somebody else's fucking dream for half the money what if I go to North Carolina and somebody hits me with a dose of bad breath and it's got COVID in and now I got to sit in the hotel room for two weeks out of my pocket because

they're not gonna pay for me to forget and COVID and to stay in that hotel room and I got a fucking I can't see my family what good am I doing for $100 a day for four fucking days I rather deliver Chinese food at session one I could just call her up and go Lily I want to deliver four days and I got pick up $100 this is what I'm saying to you guys that you have to pick and choose carefully right now I'm sure you're dying to go on a vacation to some fucking bar can't wait till they lift the sanctions and I could go listen if you go over there what you know who the fuck knows what's going on

over there yeah I'll get back on stage in New Jersey I'll keep it light no second shows but for right now I'm not getting on no planning going nowhere there ain't nowhere I want to go I don't want to get stuck anywhere I don't want to get hurt like I told you guys when I start this thing I'm not going anywhere for a while I went to California because I had to and it was a one-day fucking trip and I went to Pennsylvania for three days to shoot a fucking show that's it I don't need to go anywhere I don't want what I don't want some guy pointing a fucking BB gun at me and also not missing an eye I don't need that shit

my fucking world and that's what happens man on those fucking movies so if you're an actor and you get called for those fucking movies if you need the money I understand it but you don't need a hundred dollars for a fucking movie not they don't need to pay that that's that's a faux pas that fucking union you know I'm happy to be part of Screen Actors Guild but they got to be looking at the Screen Actors Guild a little bit more closely also it's time for people to open up their fucking eyes you know on these fucking sets you know and this white-toe producers now when they call me for shit some guy just called me a few

weeks ago he's like hey I want to offer you this thing I go okay they just can you tell me your agent's name and I told him he's like you know when you talk to those people they want a lot of money I I deserve a lot of fucking money you know why why would I want them to get me money I know what you guys are trying to do you're trying to pay me fucking scale or under fucking scale for me to go there and chase other Italian people and talk say some crazy shit you got to pay now you got to pay during this pandemic I don't want to be on TV I'm not a fucking young kid anymore I don't need to be on fucking TV I need a job I

need a career I would love to be on a on law and order full-time and why do you think I'm reaching for law and order because I know law and orders got too much to lose they're not they're gonna treat their sets right they're gonna test they're gonna keep her separated they're gonna put us in nice hotels they're gonna hire an armorer that's fucking you know the real armorer the you know something you know don't you first off you don't need to fucking pull a trigger no more okay all you need to do is point a gun at people and with CGI whatever the fuck you call it they put smoke and they put bang that's it

that that's how I don't know why there were bullets or blow but that's how cheap they were being people that's how cheap they were fucking being so I hope that the family of this I I I wish light and love to the family who lost the DP I forget what her name is I'm fucking so sorry I should have wrote it the fuck down my heart goes out to the people on that set that witnessed that but if you're an actor or whatever the fuck you are cover your ass when I want if you do take a job ask questions fuck you you're the fucking right now they need people to work you're not like gonna be a fucking like they're gonna hire you for

dick wages and treat you like shit that that shit fucking sales if you go for a job now they need you more than ever they're hiring and experienced people they're hiring people that shouldn't even be in a fucking room for these jobs so what am I saying I'm saying that this is your chance when you take a job ask questions and if you don't feel comfortable with something don't fucking do it and tell them I'm not fucking doing it they're gonna have to hire you because what are their fucking options you got them by the fucking skinnies you got them by the ball hairs now who gives a fuck what they think I know with me when

you call me for a movie or something now I ask a thousand questions and the Doremi better be right or it's not worth it for me to risk my family to bring COVID back into my fucking house go fuck yourself what was her name my Elena Hutchinson and she was really fucking good as a DP I read a lot of good stuff about her even AFI is doing a scholarship after her name you know listen man this shit happens but it could be fucking avoidable and like I said with Mike before why did you have a gun on the set with blanks you could do that in post production you could do that on his phone this is what I'm

saying to you guys this is the you know and this is why I'm not doing shit it wasn't because I was a pussy or I was scared I'm not risking what I'm doing for somebody else's fucking passion so they could go yeah thank you all you were great get them out of the fucking room then you call them a week later for a piece of your reel they don't return your calls I this ain't my first rodeo motherfuckers thank you very much for watching the joint today it was great here to talk to you guys it was great to talk to you about better help and how it's helped me and great to talk about people fucking cutting corners I can't

stand these motherfuckers but that's what you're gonna do so if you call me for an acting job a comedy job or whatever I'm gonna ask you a thousand questions covert questions the audience what you're gonna go to me I can't do business this guy cuz he gives a fuck I do give a fuck so I'm sorry Charlie the best tasting tuna gets to be Scott Stark his cock suckers don't forget laughing gas partner up with pack woods were back bitches living high on the motherfucking hog and thank you for watching another fun filled this is the last Monday of October what the fuck the year is going fucking flat fast the next time you see

my Cuban ass will be Wednesday but the next time you see my Cuban ass after that will be all saints day all souls day all souls day is November 1st I'm looking forward to fucking November that's it it was a fun filled fucking month have a great fucking couple days I'll see you cock suckers Wednesday morning tip top my goo ready to go and now for words my motherfucking sponsors jag all right you bad motherfuckers had a good time with you today fucking people shoot movies and not fucking want to pay cock suckers anyway the joint is brought to you by better help better help dot com slash Diaz is the best it's

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