Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 11/05/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #25

Episode Date: November 6, 2012

Joey and Lee are back. Joey talks about losing his dear friend Marilyn, the movie Once Upon a Time in the West, and some of the famous singers the Joey cannot stand. Joey's friend Mike calls in to talk about elections in North Bergen. Streamed live on 11/05/2012

Oh shit. Oh shit. It's my believe blast that shit. It's Monday bitches the church of what's happening now is full effect Monday November 5th motherfuckers a little clip for you. Here you go. I was already fucking hit it. Good morning to all you bad motherfuckers. It's Monday Joey Coco Diaz here my main man Lisa the flying fucking Jew in heat you know I'm talking about it was a great weekend first of all I want to give a shout out to motherfucking New Jersey half-years it's still out of light water hanging there it's fucking coming the camels are coming cocksucker Obama's showing up like 15 fucking mules but everything's

getting better I know there was an earthquake that ain't gonna stop New Jersey bro that's what I'm fucking from up in northern New Jersey I love it Jersey pride in the house I talked to Frank Yeager this morning I was worried about him last week when I did MMA junkie I asked if they had heard from these are Tom's River boy nobody had heard from I hit Mike's truck up he didn't hear I just went direct and everything is beautiful man we can't have any problems with motherfucking Frank Yeager number two I want to thank thank the Ontario improv this weekend for fucking rocking Lee came down last night we had

a great time Edwin San Juan Felicia Michaels was down there Lana Turner was down there my Mexican brother George Perez I mean it was a great fucking weekend smash brothers quarry and Chad if you came out to the show I love you to all my heart if you came to Saturday late show you're some bad motherfuckers they must have been 22 pounds or reefer came fucking explosives dogs bitches with tits it was fucking phenomenally you fucked up you were working I know George told me it was great it was great it was like every see was sold out it was crazy it wasn't even about the seats it was the attitude of the people it was the church

it was the church in full effect they were yelling screaming people were shooting heroin that's what I want to see I don't want to see no fucking people sitting there like a Christian at church on a Sunday we got a great fucking show for you today we got my man make Mike Duffy calling them from Jersey I got a movie that will rock your motherfucking world and it's just a great day to be alive go out there and tell them they owe you fucking money because that's what's cracking today we had a great movie I hope you had a happy Halloween you know my weekend was kind of fucking weird this weekend I didn't tell nobody about

this it was my my one of my best friends died five years ago our anniversary was on Saturday it was also Charles Bronson's motherfucking birthday on Saturday would have been 83 years old up there in hell shooting black people and white muggers gotta love Charles Bronson but it was fucking me all weekend it was a five-year anniversary her name is Marilyn Martinez five years ago she got you know she had cancer and at the time I was friends I was dear friends with Marilyn at the time when she got taken down with the cancer we weren't talking me and you know we were fucking best friends we have arguments

whatever and I started hanging out with her again I went to the hospital a couple times and they sent the home after they did the operation and she didn't look good and you know she had never judged me ever everly ever judge me as a human being you know she used to hide my coke for me for years if I had a big bump I give it to her and her husband and they hide it from me I lived in Echo Park and after she got out of hospital with the cancer she was sitting in the bed one day and I went over there with a bunch of people my wife and some friends and we're all talking people you know when you're in

somebody's house people are scattered along the house and she was talking to me about just fucking life you know like she was saying that if she went back to comedy if she got the strength to go back to comedy that she wouldn't work dirty because while she was under God came to her and told her you were accountable for everything you did in this fucking world and she was very religious I mean she was crazy her opening joke was she loved sucking Filipino dick it was small you can roll around your mouth I mean she was filthy but she told me this and once she was explained to me that you know

you're accountable for your actions on this earth I mean it was it was a speech she was giving me that was really hitting home I couldn't believe she was telling me it's in the middle of this fucking speech she just looks at me in her eyes locked into my eyes and she goes Joe you really gotta stop doing blow and my fucking insides froze they just fucking froze man and that was the same week all that shit was going on with the cats and everything like the cats were sick it was a week coming up to that when I stopped doing it was like once she's bred me to fucking riot act I was done with blow just the way she told

me and like the look like when somebody's talking to you went out of the blue they got a thought like they just remembered and she goes you know what you really got to stop doing blow and you got to get your life together and I fucking froze it's ain't under nobody and she probably died a month later when I was in Jersey I went back to do a benefit for the fire department Hoboken and police department Hoboken and my high school and she died and I had to come back and at her wake I caused fucking havoc I almost smack the motherfuckers you know I get that wakes and shit you know it's funny because Marilyn lives

with me you know I always tell people November is my money month November is the month that you know I went to jail November is the month that stopped doing blow November is the month that I got arrested November is the month my mother died you know November is my fucking battleground month as they say for these presents so when she told me that it was just weird I had stopped doing blow a couple weeks later so it was a fifth anniversary and it's weird because the week I'm dear friends with Rick Ramos one of my biggest movie friends and he called me and it was his birthday and we talked to him believers

five years ago you know that she's been dead and it's amazing man that you meet people on this in this planet on this world and some people come and go you know but some people stay with you you know and they die and it's weird how they really really really affected your world it's fucking weird it's you know when somebody's dead and you can't call them no more or think about them or you know it's just the weirdest feeling you know and I'm helpless without us in times because I want to talk to somebody that I could talk to her she was a Mexican chick so you know if you have somebody a good friend you know call

them up tell them you love them because you never fucking know you never fucking know but anyway back with back bitches you know I just get emotional because she was my goomba what are you gonna do you know sometimes you ever be a friend and you don't know you don't fucking know how they're gonna affect you man you know it's really weird when somebody leaves and you think about them and you go wow my life is different that they left it's really fucking weird so if you have somebody out there you love and shit call them every day and tell them so you don't have this situation when somebody passes you know and it was

November 4th was the anniversary when I came home late I was 15 I came home late and my mother smacked the shit out of me and took me to bed you know threw me the fucking room it was a week before she died and she also woke me up the next morning she's like hey I didn't like fucking smacking the shit out of you last night you know but if you're not gonna be home at a certain time you got a call you know she was a she I didn't have a curfew growing up but whatever time I got home I got home she just didn't give a fuck as long as I called every hour said mom what Lee I'm gonna be you know I was 12 I had no curfew 10

I raised myself I don't fucking curfew so this I was 15 I came home late I didn't like stop calling her after three and that morning she looked at me and she goes listen motherfucker you know someday you're gonna be married you have a wife a girlfriend somebody who counts on you you have to call it you have to check in with them because that's what it means to be a man and it fucking stuck with me a week later she was in a box and that speech even amplified in my head and still amplifies in my head you know that you're a fucking man stick it out and here I was 15 but it's that type of fucking day

today a little what was I want to be around did you even log it in today what happened when you forgot about me you're slipping and shit like that I got a great movie for you motherfuckers today because it had a respect for Charles Bronson and one of the guys on Twitter first of all I want to give out some shout outs to my little brothers on Twitter will give me some love first of all I want to give a shout out to my girl Angie's e-pop she gave me the shirt she owns she has a creative colony and creative people and stuff like that she came down to the show I want to give a shout out to my man Buster Nuggles

Curtis Kachi Peter Marin Curtis Harrison for smoking me out in fucking Ontario I want to give a shout out to my man Sergio Ortega and all you motherfuckers Mikey Royalis all you motherfuckers that pay attention and send love and sincere about the podcast I love you guys because it's fucking Monday bitches take off your fucking sunglasses I want to look in your eyes when I talk to you bitch I hate wearing these fucking glasses even though I need them but I hate wearing these glasses I'll tell you why because everybody wears these glasses like they want to be swarming me and shit I got two pair glasses here

the other fucking fat glasses I got this make me look like a computer fucking nerd and these are my Kaiser glasses and these are my fucking sag glasses right here I got this on sag insurance this is on my wife's insurance and I don't like wearing them out in public and not that they make you look weak but all these fucking momos put glasses on to like impress people you ever see that like one night you watch the Oscars and Tim Allen and I love Tim Allen I'm just using them as a thing they wear like little glasses to look more fucking intelligent I don't look intelligent all right I'm a dumb fuck and that's how I

want it to be I wear these glasses because I can't see you look at me go enjoy you're an old man you're blind bitch someday when you turn 44 with all these computers and shit you just stop seeing yeah you just stop seeing it's nothing you could do you could be carrots you could shove a carrot up your ass you can hang out with fucking bunny rabbits it don't matter once your eyes start going and I asked my doctor and he says that it's the amount of light that goes into your eyes that's all it I can already see it tell a difference what do you mean I mean I started computer screen for 10 hours a day at work I

can add the end of the shift sometimes my it's going fuzzy and I have to like shake my head and I can only imagine after 50 years of looking at the computer screen yeah I think it was the computer once I really got into writing on the computers and my site started going oh yeah and it's funny man this weekend Friday there was a benefit and I gotta tell you people it's just to get out of the way benefit Sandy you know listen man this is a national fucking crisis if you could send $3 it helps to American Red Cross and usually I'm anti-donation is because they only get 30% or something yeah they only get like

30% 70% goes to administrators cost and shit if I give you 10 bucks you only get three fucking dollars but I donated 50 bucks just because what are you gonna do and I know that I have friends that are gonna be in problems this week I have one friend has taken a plane ticket to North Carolina and she can't get to the bank haven't you know nobody's working so people gonna need fucking money so I already started getting it together to send a couple of my friends when I spoke to a buddy of mine yesterday and they destroyed his job he's on unemployment like the fucking thing knocked down the building it's oh no

he's on unemployment you know and they're used to making a certain amount unemployment pays you what 450 a fucking at 1800 a month have you got a mortgage you know people are hurting as it is but please help out they could use your help but talking about Hurricane Sandy and all that shit I gotta tell you guys something I don't know if you know this people fucking brace for this one I can't stand Bruce Springsteen I can't stand me and it's not just I can't stand him for 30 fucking years I'm from northern New Jersey I'm from Hudson County we're into all that river and all that shit you know what born on the run

was good and the other one the 10th Avenue freeze I could listen to it if you put a gun to my head the motherfucker drives me crazy okay another guy let me tell you something else that happened to me on Saturday for you motherfuckers that don't know Marilyn Martinez was really into Tom Waits and she'd always call me and tell me Tom Waits stories and I'd yes the death well Sunday Saturday I was here by myself I was feeling sad about Marilyn so I lit a candle I got some flowers had to take them down cuz the cats destroyed the fucking flowers and I sat here I put on Tom Waits I put on like a thing like a piece like eight

songs and I was cleaning you know I was moving around the room I got to tell you something you Tom Waits people that always think you impressed me at fucking parties with your Tom Waits suggestion that is the worst shit I have ever heard in all my life I like to take Tom Waits and Bruce Springsteen tie him both up and shoot him both in the fucking head and for you motherfuckers that think you're cute like you show up with your parties with your pipe and your little fucking tipped hat like you're better than everybody else and you always suggest like put on Tom Waits listen go fuck yourself okay I can't stand that shit

when people show up and they want to they always want to like you don't put on fucking the black crows no no no no no they want to hear something like exotic like to impress people with their fucking musical choices and you put this shit on and it's fucking unlistable it's unlistable and you're over there snapping your fingers like you're smart and everybody to room fuck you motherfuckers all right it's Led Zeppelin it's Tony Bennett it's a natural nowhere that I fuck this Tom Waits after like two songs I'm like is this some fucking different language I don't fucking know about and I came in

here listen to other songs it was fucking hard it was the voice that what the fuck is that shit no wonder she fucking died that music was so bad listening to that shit that is the worst if you motherfuckers that think you're swarming they come into parties and they always suggest something I was like oh no no no put on a little read a Iggy Pop listen go fuck yourself all right I'm sick of you motherfuckers you fake flux with your musical choices to impress me when I moved here Lee I used to cater in 98 okay it was a pro comic and I catered and I go to all these houses in Beverly Hills and all these fucking

little waspy fucks will be playing the same song that the Latin thing of Bambolio and it all sit outside like oh my god I love this Hispanic music I want to stab in the first one ain't fucking Hispanic music those are a bunch of confused fucking Puerto Rican Bambolio get the fuck out of my face I hate all that shit so you motherfuckers that want to impress me with your little musical chick listen bitch I got a message for you it's Zeppelin it's the fucking who they're the background of this fucking country let it skin it they're the backbone people grew up on that shit later on they want to put

them get cute with their little hats and hang out the fucking at Los Feliz with those people I think they're smart and everybody you're a bunch of dumb fucks with your little attitudes all right you don't know dick about dick you just do shit so other people think you're cool look at him he's co-cool they wear fucking designs and hats and a little goatee like somebody fucking knows you slick fucking people sorry about the rant this morning but I can't stand Tom Waits and all that bullshit that comes with and Springsteen I hope your fucking house got hit the biggest out of all of them you fuck miserable cocksucker I

can't stand you with that bullshit all the time he shows up he's 80 with his little fucking Nazi head do you fucking Jew act like a fucking Jew he shows up with a fucking little Nazi head oh my he does with a little black leather jacket that ugly fucking redhead oh we're impressed he has a black friend well he died god forbid I like Larry's friend he's got a black friend on the saxophone oh he puts on a great show so did fucking the B-52s all right don't make me put on rock lobster put little rock lobster for these motherfuckers Lee and Sean you got to show up with that boring ass fucking music that

for playing a piano looking like somebody kicked you in the face 55 fucking times I hate that shit man you know I like music cuz I like it not because I'm here to impress people the music I play in the morning is I listen to this shit I live by this is what I rocked by this is how I get my day fucking prep what is that's a bad recording that's alive I need a fucking the album with six of them standing in the front another guy over here listen to fucking Tom Wait 20 I see I'm gonna strangle you too and shit fucking best thing to come out of dirty Jersey I hear you my man Jay Robinson on Twitter knocking some

fucking heat out there and I'm sorry if you're a fan from the heart like if you really like them but you know what I'm talking about you know I said the type of people that come up to you like oh my god I love Yoko Ono have you ever heard any Yoko Ono music Lee have you ever heard any Yoko Ono music I don't know I think so no one to speed that up to like let me see speed that up to like three minutes see where we're at I'm gonna show you motherfuckers and I want to see these guys in 1980 new years right right there crank this motherfucker everybody was on a quailude the album is tremendous let's do this Lee watch this

this guitar player he was on the first two albums amazing speed it up a little more Lee a little more to show these motherfuckers are guitar player throw some heat with a little bit more where's my man Mike Duffy in the house this is the Eddie Munster type right here so for you people I like your fake fucking music interest so people think you're cool keep it up keep it up okay keep it up did you stop it no speed it up a little more a minute come on Lee a minute come on Lee right here here listen to this shit right here crack it Lee listen to this motherfucking

guitar player shred this guitar solo he on heroin he was nodding he didn't give a fuck there was eight seven hundred people in this room at the ritz or one of those places new years 80 and I remember turning around in New York and looking at everybody was moving to the same beat in this room and I go you're fucking in New York this is what it's all about listen to these motherfuckers from Atlanta found found found what break out the reefer bitches in the vapor oh you hit it from that

for Jerry's kids today you know what I'm saying crack it Lee nobody who can't that motherfucking oh you know it but you didn't say nothing Lee you're supposed to say you see I'm fucking freaking out about springstand and Tom waits and Duffy I don't know what the fuck he is I call this cocksucker election Tuesday I hope your motherfuckers give me it's really important that you get out there and vote I can't vote I got felonies at this point was like 20 years ago so I could register but if I

vote I gotta go to jury duty I ain't got time to go to fucking jury dude you sit there and judge somebody who the fuck am I to judge somebody that's the real reason you know and they always send me for jury duty I always get letters I'm like stupid I got felonies I can't judge somebody don't care come on down that was a long time ago oh god I haven't got it yet I'm dreading that you haven't gotten it yet now did you register you don't want to vote what the fuck is wrong with you Lee it just I'm not even political but everything everything I everything I see is them lying both of them and if I if I vote for like if I

vote for like a random guy or Ron Paul it's isn't it the same as not voting Lee get down and vote you're a young guy this is how Clinton won the election fucking 94 or 92 you gotta get down and vote voting is very important for this country everybody's got to get out there and vote no matter what age you're a young guy I can't believe you don't act like young guys you don't want to do nothing you don't want to do nothing you don't want to vote most mostly young mooks walking around they're walking around with their backpack today they got 10 books in there they're analyzing everything Obama and the other fucking

mooks got to say I mean they're all gonna do the same thing the only different Romney's gonna do a little bit he's not gonna give as much out as far as like assistance but I don't know they're not gonna they're not supposed to give nothing out this is great in the United States of America we're supposed to be rocking on our own here you know I know unemployment's high and I know shit's going on if you want a fucking job you'll put a job together you put something together you know I'm saying you put an asshole factory a fucking sucking dick somebody calling not yet doesn't call yet I don't know what a

fuck duffy is but that's that's my point like if no matter who gets elected I'm still gonna find a way to have a job and be okay and I don't know you're still gonna go around you're still gonna pay for gas it's just a cost to do gotta vote get out there and vote and register this election it's gonna be a motherfucker it's a very important election so get out there and vote very important you know what I might even not this time but I might I just didn't want to go through all this shit I got letters saying that I was allowed to vote now the felonies both and I still vote in Jersey late right now they're gonna

have email votes in Jersey are you fucking kidding me oh yeah how are they gonna be kidding me let me tell you something I'm on a absentee vow they have 92 felonies being prison and they still figure out how to vote in Jersey those Jersey motherfuckers don't fuck around yeah you know before I left Jersey like though you gotta sign some paperwork you're an absentee ballot type of motherfucker so they just make the decision for now those don't even make sense do they count those because they know who wins that night but people are still sending the you gotta send it in before the 4th we think it comes in on

the 8th and they hold it till you know you know that night so you have the bulk of it but you have to send it in you have to be responsible and get down it's funny because I don't like I'm oppositely you know I grew up I came from Cuba and I believed in the system and I believed I really still do to this day I believe in the system the problem with the United States is we're fucking distracted bro you know we have too many distractions we have phones we have this we've let ourselves we used to be a great fucking nation and we buy into all this stuff that and all we have to do is keep doing our job keep picking up

papers keep helping your fucking community you know donate help with blood drives you know be a fucking mentor in your community help these kids that don't know nothing you know you walk around these communities and there's no kids in the neighborhood if you're not working and you're a parent go out there say you know what on Tuesdays I'm gonna start a volleyball league on the street and people gonna and we take donations from the parents you know everybody's forgotten that in this fucking country everybody wants it handed to you know if you're not working you're not doing something become a

part of the fucking community pick up papers you know chase people out of there you know after you leave I go out there and tell people at the park on this block that don't live on this fucking block you got to stick up for young communities and everybody does that in the community the country becomes strong bro because every community is tight and we're next to each other everybody's working together but nobody wants to do that because everything is split up if you have an iPhone or don't have a fucking iPhone between the haves and the have nots you know I'm saying that's all it is we're community

start as a community we start as a community we just grow outward man that's it you start in your fucking community but with the United States what was worried about somebody else how to take over another government and y'all let's go to Magumba and help them help the motherfuckers in Cleveland help the motherfuckers in Ohio that are under that's what we need to fucking help that's the problem right now this country's in fucking like I was calling my friend Duffy I said travel I see what's going on you know when people get confused oh this guy has a Mercedes war in LA there's traffic everywhere else is

fucking hurting Pittsburgh you can't the bars around Pittsburgh Pittsburgh J Bechero in the house giving them a shout out those bars don't open unless there's a baseball game no embarrassing that is because the other side of town it's like these cities have put you know they they work against themselves for 20 years you have a waterfront people respect that waterfront and then 10 years of development comes in let's build in the downtown and call the arts district and everybody tells downtown to go fuck themselves now you have these owners that have been making money and have restaurants that depend on the traffic

no they go somewhere else because Tom waits music they're playing that so the sheet go over there to eat over there and shit like that you know we got to start working as communities and as communities then we get stronger you know when I was a kid in Jersey listen those mayors with thieves they were fucking thieves Joe Marco Peter Marco I love him to death by the way little Marco fought fucking Saturday night or Friday night I don't know if he won or not he's fighting America's top team my heart goes out to him but his uncle Peter was a mayor let me tell you something Peter stole Peter still a big shot in fucking Jersey City

but let me tell you something about Peter when I was a kid if I called the mayor's office they answered and if I asked for Peter Peter would fucking it take me on hold for eight or nine minutes of Peter would pick up the phone really and he'd say what's up Coco and I go mayor you know our net is broken down here and within 20 minutes that'd be a truck with a guy with a ladder putting a new fucking net for us our park was immaculate yeah Carmine Balzan lived across the street so that raises you know I'm saying like let's say if your father's like the chief of police and he lives in this area this area will be

nice yeah quickly they'll pick the garbage up first when it snows they'll shovel the streets first because the chief of police lives in the fucking area you know so everybody thought it was because of that no those mayors care so did you what did I really read the fucking newspaper articles when they caught stealing or corruption I didn't give a fuck because I know when I needed some they fucking care for me that's just a part of doing business you know in Jersey that's why I wanted Mike to call up I hope he calls up to explain Jersey politics to these people that's why I don't believe in it and a big

level but I knew growing up in Jersey and man my hometown right now Nicholas Sacco he's been there since 1982 some people like him some people don't go into Christie fucking don't like them they say it's corruption but let me tell you something about Mayor Sacco I heard praises this weekend I heard praises from people saying that Sacco this fucking town he got it cleaned up and he worked hard to get the lights put on you go to fucking North Bergen now let me tell you something as much as it's communist and they have cameras on every way the hotel we stayed at yeah I remember being out there with you

watching the cops pulling people over they have cameras you know my hometown Jersey it's a fucking armpit in one way but it's beautiful they've made it beautiful you know my hometown they have programs Sacco works fucking hard they got schools for kids that are you know accelerated they had schools for kids that are artistic you know they have schools for kids that are they have all these programs in North Bergen so I don't give a fuck what Sacco's doing in social life of these molesting fucking women because they always got them for sexual harassment there's allegations or whatever you think I give a fuck he comes

true it's the motherfuckers that tell you they're there for you and don't come through for you those are the politicians that piss me off they're worse than fucking criminals they're worse than criminals they're lying to you you voted they gave you gave them their trust and they're fucking lying to you you follow me and then I'm doing shit for you they don't care about you like I said when I was growing up I grew up in a very political heavy political environment I mean I used to have to rip signs down every four years in North Bergen you got to work bitch you got to pick a side and get out there and fucking pound the

pavement and drive people to the polls and pick old people up I mean I had to do all that shit in North Bergen rip people's signs down throw fucking fire bombs that's old-type politics and what was somebody saying yesterday that did you hear what Romney did oh yeah George was saying that Obama gave out Romney hats that said made in Taiwan and Obama was giving out Obama hat saying made in America that's dirty politics but that's what politics is all about that's Chicago politics that's why that happened Chicago politics or on another fucking level New Jersey politics another fucking level they know how to you

know it's marketing bro it's getting down and dirty you're two days before the elections getting down and dirty I do what you got to go pass hats out with a picture of Lee gonna fuck you what are you gonna do made in Taiwan it's classic shit yeah I don't mind that it's just like the stuff that like with both of them like they'll have you know how videos of them giving speeches where they'll say oh I believe I don't believe in the death penalty and then two years later I do believe in the death penalty and it's I don't know it just seems like a waste of time always fucking amazed me how the biggest issue was abortion everybody

cares about what the president thinks with a how he feels on abortion isn't a fucking woman so how can he feel how the fuck is she what does that have to do with us but the fucking Christian states oh you know he feels this way about abortion listening I feel about abortion I can't stand it as a Catholic on a man I can't stand it but I understand women's situations and it's their fucking body so they're free to do whatever the fuck they want with it I wasn't there when they fucked with guys I know if you fucked me I don't know why my wife I'm a loser sometimes a chick hangs up on a loser she gets pregnant she don't want to have

the kid the kid can't afford to give it up for whatever that's not my call I have to mind my business but everybody's involved with how they feel on abortion it's a woman's issue got nothing to do with me bro yeah if they talked about cutting coxswalf that's got something to do with me you follow me but woman what am I gonna do what do you want me to do sit here and make my decision and how you feel about it nobody likes abortion I don't even want to hear the fucking word I don't even like seeing tampon fucking commercials on television I was telling these guys this weekend that's what offends the shit on me when I'm

sitting with my wife one with Felicia in her house and the kids and also they pop a tampon commercial that's offensive to me yeah but what do you want everybody fucking freaks out everything else you a fat fuck talking dirty if I don't give a fuck abortion I don't want to hear about it if you're a woman and you want to go out there and it's freedom it's what you do with your body it's got nothing to do with me so if you hate me for this hate me if you don't my real beliefs I'm Catholic how the fuck do you think I feel but it's got nothing to do with me see when Jesus wrote the book you know they want to freaks out there

that's the thing like it's uh it's nothing religious with me like I thought about it because I had to think about it and I never had a scare or anything but I thought one day I was thinking god if I if I don't know if I could live with myself knowing that that happened but the people who are so again like even not even abortion but against anything like that that doesn't involve them like a marriage like why do they get so upset why the fuck would you care two men want to be together it's got nothing to do with you yeah what do I tell my kids nothing fucking mouth tell nothing what are they oh what am I gonna tell them

two men holding hands they're fucked up what do you want me to tell you I don't know they have a choice this is why it's a fucking America you know yeah I seen a show on one of these the oxygen or something called Balceros about these Cuban dudes that come over and they show these two Cuban dudes that were gay and they show the whole thing how gay it is in Cuba you know it's like fucked up to be gay you know like if you're a parent they'll walk away from me in Cuba like my mom used to say that there were stories of them taking kids shark hunting if it oh game shit like that I don't lie to you but what do you want me to do

you want me to hate somebody cuz I don't hate somebody if they gay that's a sexual fucking preference that's why we live in the motherfucking United States of America leave because we have that shit that's why brother yeah because we have those freedoms why live here it doesn't and then it all goes back to the voting like Romney his fucking entire family lives in Mexico but he's he's big against illegal immigrants and it's just it's unbelievable you know if I was gonna run for president I'd be prepared of what they're gonna say about me I know I was a bird when I robbed a couple people I know I sold you probably should

run I should run because I'm better than half of these motherfuckers but you know why because I'll look you in the eye dog I'll look you in the eye tell you no yes if I could do this shit these motherfuckers they always stay there noncommittal they're like agents and producers in LA they'll never call you and tell you no because you might get big someday and then you'll hold it against them you know business is business and personal is personal I know about business if you can't use me for that move you're looking for a Chinese guy and you can't put me in the movie you think I'm gonna get mad they're

people who get mad this time my friend Lee's doing a movie and he didn't put me in it but bro he needed black people you're fucking you're Mexican what the fuck is wrong with you what do you think he's gonna you know I'm saying yeah people just don't understand this town here it's like anything in life you know I want people I want men to look me in the eye that's why I don't hang out with people with sunglasses who think they're fucking cool these are decisions you making your life you know who you want to hang out with who you want around you who the fuck do you want around you all these other people they come and go it's

like Tom Waits fans with their little hats on and you know I can't stand fake cool people I still got my 1980s fucking hairdo I wear a D this with stripes on him you know and I'm not old school I don't want to be categorized I'm a 50 year old man but I'm who the fuck I am and that's all what the fuck you are these people dress up I wasn't allowed to wear sunglasses in North Bergen growing up I wasn't allowed to have an earring growing up you know or to be a fake fucking person people can hit me up on Twitter all your real whatever I've always been real because how you want me to show up like a fake with a hat to be

cool I hang with people to be cool there's people in this town that I'm when you went high school somebody had a Camaro and they had like a convert when you hung out with them to be fucking cool meanwhile you're a fucking Momo that's fine when you're 17 but when you're a fucking adult a 40 year old man you have decision I see people hanging out with stars I think they're fucking huge and they're walking next to my look at me fuck you stupid it's like when the president talks those idiots that stand behind them yeah they drive me crazy you know you ever see like that you ever see like the video to I like to walk but

hit the big Mac if you like static raw bass and all that shit no you ever see that video that what's his names on the phone they love that shit the brothers love it you ever see like a news report and they're interviewing somebody and there's a couple brothers in the back and smiling and shit look at us look at me what what is wrong with you what is get out of that fucking camera cock sucker what is wrong with you but everybody always wants to be cool yet you can't be cool you are cool or you're not fucking cool you're who the fuck you are just because you wear a hat and these cute little sunglasses and you

don't shave and you walk around like you're depressed get the fuck out of here get it together that works on these little 20 year old momos that had no fathers that didn't get talked and shit when I have my daughter I'm gonna raise that bitch to hate all these motherfuckers you know it's so funny yeah that was in I went to Ontario Friday night wasn't Friday night and some guy came up to me say amen nice show we had a great time I take pictures with him I love taking pictures of people after the show some people have fucked up armpits though and I got to tell him I could smell that shit and they hug you on the fucking

shirt and then you have an armpit on your fucking sleeve the whole goddamn drive home but this guy came to me was hey you know it's funny I worked in North Bergen on the construction job for six months and he goes on Friday nights I would go to bars and so we had how you people are he goes first of you people are very to yourselves you don't like outsiders do you and he goes that's fucking amazing how even the women in North Bergen I would try to talk to him at the bars and they didn't bite at all they would shot me down there I wasn't local I wasn't you know and that night I drove home and I went to 7-eleven and

I'm waiting online on 7-eleven I was getting like something from my wife at Donut and there was this there was these two girls behind me that were kind of cute and there was a quarter to so we're trying to get beer and shit yeah and this white dude came in just a disgusting man and he starts he gets like two beers bottles and he's being cute with the girls and I can't believe that this guy's drunk he's like where you ladies coming from and these two girls are talking to him like you know we're partying out they talk and I'm looking at these two fucking momos I'm thinking this is how women get killed why are you

talking to this fucking idiot look straight smile say hi and look fucking straight and don't look over there mind you goddamn be gonna talk to this fucking Momo and I get in the car and I go I'm gonna watch this play out and sure enough he's out there working and these two girls like oh my god and then he's working these are 20 year old girls these are girls that just go to a bartending they worked at a first of all and when they said when they worked when they were standing I knew they were retarded they worked at that how the fucking moon with two momos get with pianos and they play cover songs and people sing along

every time I see that shit I wish somebody comes by with a machine and sprays the building because you're halfway you're halfway dead you're on vacation in California you're sitting in a piano room singing fucking Billy Joe's that's another guy can't stand I tell you that I can't stand Billy Joe all that fake New York shit drives me fucking crazy taking a New York state of mind when the fuck that he mugs somebody you know I'm saying he's in the New York state of mind all that shit drives me crazy people I don't like Billy Joe I don't like Bruce Springsteen but Tom waits I'll kill you if I see you on the

street you're miserable cock sucker what time is it here where's Mike doofy it's 645 I don't think Mike's calling today Mike had flight school Mike's a pilot he had a fucking fly people around the world you know how that goes well why you call I wanted I'm sorry we didn't I didn't get your name but this the couple guys last night there's one guy who he said he works at the Coles distribution center and 10 hours a day is moving boxes and he's listening and I just wanted to say it was a like it's still it's still like I mean I work with you but it doesn't I'm not really I don't think I'm anything special and people

came up to me and started saying hi and to think that you're working 10 hours a day moving boxes and you're still listening it's a flying you want to do what do you want to do when you I move around here I listen to podcasts listen to music these motherfuckers got listening to something yeah no but it was great to it was great to go out and meet there was a bunch of people all their last signers a lot of fun and listen man these shows it's funny when you see these people from Twitter you know and you see their faces this girl you know Algeasy the girl that brought me this shirt J.R. Gomez in the house I

love you motherfucker was a Sadie of this girl that gave me the shirts you see them on Twitter yeah you see them and you communicate with her now you get to meet them and it's something special I ain't gonna lie to you people I thought all you motherfuckers were retarded on Twitter now I count on you guys I count on you guys for everything you guys are tremendous I love you guys with all my heart I really do I love when they come to shows me and they shake my hand this fucking kid this Curtis whatever I can't see without my glasses Curtis Harrison whatever his name is that's a cool motherfucking white guy we smoked 20

fucking bowls of Bob out there almost didn't get home I almost pulled over at the Anheuser bush plant over there I mean you know what man and yeah there's crazy people everywhere but you know what I'm very happy with my Twitter family I'm fucking happy with them I'm happy when I see them when they come on they and they we talk there's some great fucking people across the country man that I was confused but I always knew it you know me I love Americans I love fucking traveling going to Texas and going all these crazy states Mississippi you know next year I want to go to Utah I want to go to Tupelo Mississippi I want

to go to Alabama I'm going to South Bay so I'm going deep next summer mad flavor tour I contacted my attorney we're working on that warrant I may not to pay a fine and they'll drop it if they drop that one in Seattle and I could do individual deals you know like go to Canada and pay taxes and do the gig and come right back I'm ready man I can't wait to get to Canada I've always loved Canada Toronto was smoking dope 20 years ago these people think they cool walking around California oh my god let me tell you something in Toronto in 98 I was getting done we delivered to my hotel room oh mother fuckers wrote the

book in Toronto Toronto's like a little New York a little on the different cooler side mm-hmm they got this Bloor Street they got movie theaters with waitresses that bring you food league oh my god you could smoke in there I mean this is a great little city if you ever get a chance to go to Toronto they used to shoot a lot of movies out there great fucking food great Cuban food and great communities you know you got you know that's what that's what I love about trauma I can't stand these fake people that want to go to London and England and you know they always want it I'm not London England but there were the

time waits people I'm gonna take a flight to a little island off the course of Singapore what the fuck happened to go into Kentucky yeah that was great I drove cross country coming out here and it was fucking it was the best time I had good it just just driving for like 15 hours a day and you was mugged you don't shit like that you gotta wash your car and I know and everyone was nice but I I'm a Jew from up north I had never been I went to Florida to Disney World but other than that I had never been south of Virginia and everyone they're like Kentucky I left Oklahoma there's a nicest people I couldn't I like it like it

took me like it's not as bad as or not as intense as North Bergen or Jersey where they're like kind of rude or abrupt but Boston people they're nice but they're not gonna like be overly nice to you and the people down there were like weirdly nice and it was great it really is my first time I drove everywhere in a shitty car Nissan B210 or something and I remember I was in Nebraska though I used to meet some amazing people I'm a bit and it's like you it's like if you travel across the country and if you drive or something it's like being like a hitchhiker in a way and just letting your mind so you bring a little reef with

you you talk to people you get your dick sucked because you'll meet some freaks on the road I remember I met this my car broke down I had a the frame kept breaking from the fucking car oh shit and what happened was I was standing there stranded I changed the tie I thought it was the tire that just popped but it was the frame had broken and was rubbing against the tie and after two miles the tie would get hot and it just go pop so here I am out there with two back flat fucking tires and I'll never forget this I'm standing on the side road I wasn't even asking for help I didn't have a cell phone it was 95 or

something like that 94 I was just starting out in the road and some fucking car pulled over I forget what type of car and some chick came out with like a spring dress with no brawn and big titties and she fucking was like do you need a ride and I'm like this is like one of these stories yeah there's a porno and I sit next to her and I get my luggage and my clothes and she's like if you like we could go over to my where I live you could take a shower and spend the night if you'd like and I'm like oh my god this is easy as shit and she starts talking to me and talking to me and you know we and then she starts

saying we okay she starts saying we we cook and we listen to music at night we play songs you're gonna love it you're gonna love it over by us and I'm like and also I'm looking at the tits I'm getting full I'm like oh I'm gonna pull over suck a big fat fucking nipples and next thing you know she made like a left or something and a bush of hair came out from under I mean it was two bushes just came up bam bam and I'm like oh my god it's Patty smite I didn't know who the fuck this was she had some huge armpit like hair yeah and I couldn't smell her enough I don't care if you got big armpit if I can't smell you I'm

going down I'm taking it down like a soldier oh that freaked me out then she keeps driving and she keeps telling me how then she just busted out there was some Christian organization and you know Christ really needs to accept you this is Christ who did this to make you meet us and come to us I'm like listen here it is pull over let me get the car towed and she's like oh I just called and they're ready to have a cop for you and I'm like listen if I ain't sleeping with you and that fucking cop I ain't going she just looked at me like what it was Ogallala Nebraska she's like what bitch listen if it's not you and that sack

next uncle Joey hang out with no dirty fucking Christian so get your shit together and she got back in the car with a no bra on I think she was like a pigeon but she would just drive and pick people up like they said you go on fine really yeah like go out there and find the con congregation first and she was going out there with no bra on and she was a good-looking girl with no bra on like you know those girls that like they have no bra on but the thing keeps falling and it'll have pop up and you're like come on get it together dick or not you know you're walking around with a half a fucking gun up the

movie I wanted to talk to you guys about is one of my all-time favorite movies somebody tweeted it to me the other day that just watching on my great idea in two days it was Charles Bronson's goddamn birthday so one of one of my all-time favorite movies a movie called Once Upon a Time in the West it's Sergio Leone Sergio Leone directed the whole dollar trilogy trilogy you know for a few dollars more fistful dollars and he did a movie called the good the bad the ugly also did Once Upon a Time in America with treat motherfucking Williams if you ever get a chance to watch that movie that's a badass movie

once upon a time in America treat Williams Robert De Niro fucking full blast movie it's a five-hour movie about Jewish gangsters did you know that oh it's about Jew fucking gangsters noodles that was dinner noodles noodles just amazing and he's playing like a Maya Lansky and he goes to Israel and they give him the keys I mean it's a very more in fact go and find the trade let's play Once Upon a Time in the West Sergio Leone he wanted to work with Charles Bronson of course and he offered him the ugly and the good the bad the ugly and Charles Bronson's like I don't want to play the fucking ugly fuck you bitch so

what he did was he he offered him Once Upon a Time in the West and he plays Harmonica man they call him Harmonica and the beauty of this movie for you young guys listen I tell you about these movies and you're gonna you're gonna call me back or hit me back I'm gonna go Joey I watch Once Upon a Time in the West I almost shot myself Sergio Leone he's a very precise director he takes his time he shows you everything visually no explosions there's no cool music in the background like as they're chasing somebody in guitars and shit like that no no no he sells you the visual side he wants your mind to do that to play the

music that's what the directors from then do and the directors now they write a script that's worth three dollars they put explosives they put Zach in it and that's your movie you buy it and then you never mention the movie a quote the fucking movie again there's nothing to quote it's a mention when I'm not putting Zach down I love Zach I'm just saying that's the formula for a movie now in Hollywood either Zach Tom Cruise or what's the other fucking moron's name you know now that the black guy that when I play Ray you know that's it there's no creativity in Hollywood no more I got none against Jamie Foxx I love Jamie

Foxx I watched Ray again the other day that's why I was saying Ray you know I watched some good movies this weekend I watched Moneyball again for the 80th time for you motherfuckers who have a problem with Brad Pitt you better check yourself motherfucking and I watched the movie that listen I don't give a fuck about Scientology and all that bullshit but when it comes to a movie you know what Tom Cruise is a bad motherfucker he's great Tom Cruise and I don't give a fuck and I've seen him all for that the sky I watched all his fucking movies because he doesn't get 80 million a movie unless you could sell it that shit comes out of

your pores I watched collateral the other day when he goes into that fucking Chinese bar and he starts shooting those motherfuckers in Chinatown right in Koreatown and Hollywood you never seen that did you I feel like I have but I don't remember him and Jamie crew him and Tom whatever Jamie Foxx okay I have seen that yo oh he sends he sends he sends Tom he sends Jamie Foxx into a Mexican joint down in Washington down there and fucking Boyle Heights one of those nasty motherfucking Mexican neighborhoods and he's got to talk to Javier by damn and my boy Amelia Rivera walks into the table and Javier gives him like a little

attitude and he looks him he's like fuck you bitch but what about all the work I've been doing for you I mean Jamie Foxx really does a great job with Tom Cruise in that Japanese bar when he starts shooting motherfucking military style because there's two ways to shoot people there's the ways that you could be a half a Puerto Rican and do all this shit and his military style where they actually teach that's a style I learned in Colorado from a buddy who wanted me to be a hit man he taught me how to shoot military to tell to the sternum one to the fucking head knee on your back I had to learn how to shoot from all fucking

angles that's military style shoot you you use the least amount of bullets you're going for fucking death death is your friend anyway we're gonna talk about once upon a time in the West so Charles Bronson plays Leone hit it Lee this is the opening scene which takes about 90 fucking minutes this is Charles Bronson playing the harmonica here and he shows up on the train station there's three guys waiting for Frank Frank sent us you bring a horse for me looks like we're looks like we're shy one horse

you brought too too many they just freeze let's surge only on directing so everything takes a while makes you sit into your fucking heart it sits into your soul this is what the movies are about you're supposed to that's the horse fucking at the I didn't shoot the horse but that's sergillian now you're staring at a fan that just keeps spinning it just keeps spinning these three guys are on the floor dead Charles Bronson's looking around about the fucking pop of tic-tac in the fan is still spinning please watch this movie it's a long movie now look at the trailer for once upon a time in

America okay I'll find it too I got it and shoot these people this shit you know it's it's crazy like when we like just for example when we do the mad flavors roll people get like this those YouTube videos are very flashy and stuff like that but I love movies like this where it's like it takes a long time and you sit there and it's it could get boring some people think it's boring I love it man I love watching and thinking about what what's going on I look at the trailer for once upon a time in America see what they say that this is the narrow treat Williams do you want to play them from the beginning yeah just play

the trailer would see what this says there your friends in high places and I don't trust politicians if we listen to you would still be rolling drunks for living you broke you carry that stink of the streets with you the rest of your life I like this thing of the streets it makes me feel good I like to smell it it opens up my lungs Arnan Milchand presents a Sergio Leone Phil God damn it Robert DeNiro once upon a time in America the story of friends as boys they made a pact to share their fortunes agreed their loves and their lives you'll put up and you'll shut up you hear nothing and you

see nothing just like you did for bugsy you was better off you stayed in the Bronx as men they shared a dream this is where the God knows you and me together we can make it come true to rise together from poverty to power there they are these are the fucking Jews the 1930s these motherfuckers opened the door through two decades that changed the nation and again he shows up in business they forged an empire built on greed violence and betrayal today they asked us to get rid of Joe tomorrow they asked me to get rid of you is that okay with you because it's not okay with me open it we were swimming yeah let's go

swim we're gonna need you guys today you're the only person that I've ever cared about maybe Sharky was right maybe I would just dump you he's gonna do this he's gonna do it with or without you it's Tuesday well you know they do a robbery as a dream and they rob Tuesday well all right and then they go at a party and they see Tuesday well it's a party like look that's the chick we roughed up that she loved it like they went in there to rob them at a bank or something yeah but when they smacked it she got horny she's like I love this and she left with them way before the town

so that's why when you see all these movies you'll see where they stole the rest of the movies that you guys are watching look at that I've seen that before I've heard that line before they stole them from these fucking movies guys these were the Bible so if you get a chance this week I know it's Monday I want to plan about Friday because you don't know what's gonna happen but watch once upon a time in the West it's Henry Fonder's only role as a bad guy ever it's a very intense movie I know you guys want me to tell you about our goal new movies of the seven fucking prophets where is that movie that's

it it's came and went yeah you'll never hear from it again this one telling people these movies are garbage guys they just package them and that's it if there's no explosives there's no chase scenes with music there's nothing these fucking movies you got to sit there you think Sergio Leone's got five hours to throw away this motherfucker don't fuck around he's an Italy shooting fucking bully why are you looking at me like that like you're gonna cry what's the matter about Jews don't get offended that's why I call all Jewish guys noodles that's why all my tight fucking Jew friends except for you you're a

flying flying but everybody else is noodles brother oh shit you know and I'm disappointed with Mike but what am I gonna do you know I let him know yesterday he posted on Facebook that he was gonna do the show and then maybe I'll call me sure he hasn't called it's been open yeah because I don't know where the fuck he is this guy he's on Facebook talking about politicians all the time he calls Obama the Kenyan oh my god line the fucking Kenyan said this and the Kenyan said that so I figured this guy would be a good call today but hey what are you gonna do these guys fold they think that I'm gonna fucking ask him questions

because when you put it on Facebook he was gonna be on some guy put on there don't mention any names you know it's like are you fucking kidding me or what that's crazy you know so what are you gonna do on to the next one that's it Mike you're done cuz I really do I asked you for a favor one time if you can't come through for me why am I gonna bother you again and that's the thing with the tweet with your Twitter people you're saying it last night you say things you put the balls up but it cuts out the people who weren't really that into you so if people are sticking with you through this then they're gonna be

your people listen the balls were there so when people look at they go they get offended if they got offended I don't want you around it's like people who serve blue blue branch with blue cheese you know it's like people who fuck up pork fry rice it's like when you go to a restaurant you open up an appetizer the appetizer blows why are you ordering a fucking entree if the appetizer blows and it's fucking simple why are you ordering a fucking entree you're killing yourself to live yeah get up get the check and get the fuck out of there and go to the place that you know what's fantastic yeah right around that's

what I would do that's just me people always get mad when I go to eat like people will get weird stuff on the menu and as a fat guy I know you get you get the easy stuff people can't mess up and it's always gonna be good I almost never have a bad meal because I get the simple stuff people who go out trying to be fancy with it yeah that must have been you that all that but it must have been somebody else that orders spaghetti at the know-how fucking diner one time we went to diner at 10 o'clock at night and this fucking move order spaghetti at this place where they fuck up the soup well I didn't want I didn't feel like a

burger everything tastes the same the chili the spaghetti sauce the soup everything tastes the same I love no whole diner I used to like no whole diner because they let you smoke in the back you go down back there smoke a read and get a bowl of soup and me and Lee would go back then talk shipped till two in the morning but now they closed off the back so there's no reason to fucking even go in there because they fucked up my ham and eggs one time my wife had to send her fucking eggs with one two times you know fucked up eggs oh shit how can you fuck up some of these eggs you know they got these

Mexicans for six bucks an hour teach them how to fucking cook teach them how to fucking cook you know I'm saying call in brother we're waiting on you I just texted to you okay I'm gonna text it to you because I can't say it over the air because it's not these Puerto Ricans I mean I mean it's my boy what are you putting plenty playing songs for and shit don't be playing those songs don't be playing songs Lee cocksucker so while we wait for it I was thinking about it when we talked about it last night for people who keep tweeting at me are you gonna have a black chick fart in your face I'll do it but one of them is gonna

have to give me a blow job Lee shut up Lee they're not gonna why are you getting upset about this stuff he was talking about this shit on the way home that he's gonna change the chick if she fart in his face I'm just gonna live your life Lee don't worry about you gonna enjoy this why are you so why are you so panicked about a chick fart in your face cuz that cuz you said like oh it's supposed to taste like shit nothing that's the exact reason I don't want to do it I don't want to take shit you know you how bad does it taste Lee it tastes like it's shit no it does not a girl is clean no talking about is when

she farts in your face their asshole sometimes if they go to work or whatever it gets you know the sodium packs up around the muffler plus toilet paper you ever go down that chicken she got a little toilet paper in the muffler that's what a soldier what are you gonna do we gotta fucking go away no you gotta you gotta do what you gotta do Lee you know so when she farts in your face your mouth's gonna be and I want you know you're gonna have a little residue like you might have it's like me shooting somebody in the head next to you the brains are gonna go on you you know I'm saying it's no big deal they don't worry

no but at least you're worried about this shit for no reason I don't he asked me about eating the girls ass 80 times yesterday when am I gonna do it what the fuck and just live and learn you never had a one-night stand you take a chick comb and when you look the pieces for where they stay Lee yeah not eating the ass so far leave what is wrong with you it's partly anatomy it's beautiful why I don't know I don't know about beautiful man you never you've never looked at a chick's muffler that's what the problem is Lee you gotta look at it give it a chance you don't even flip or give it a chance have you ever stick your finger

the chicks no sniff your finger no that's what you suppose that's how you start and you don't put the big finger that you put the pinkie and they get your party started is my man what's happened little brother how are you where you've been you've been flying around the fucking world what are you doing I just got down I have a student nice when you pay people to try to kill you oh I hear you but on the phone is my main man Mike you know I met I knew Mike's father before I met Mike and Mike's one of those politicians Mike's father was a politician I talked about that cared about you know if I went to Mike's

father said I need a basketball rim on 38 she was there ten minutes fucking later him and Peter Mock on those guys who I love dearly but I met Mike I was a junior in high school in the work study program CIE where they give you 15 credits for working and you got out of school that one and Mike came in he was in the army at the time stationed in Hawaii and we spoke and then six months later I end up in Aspen Colorado who's there my man Mike and we've been brothers ever since man what's happening Mike tell these motherfuckers about North Bergen politics Mike not bargain I got to yeah the yeah my father was a

heavily a politician and he was basically the prince of the young dem movement back there Hudson County so it's when the Kenyan idiot comes on and preaches his stool bummery I basically understand the playbook because I grew up with it but there's one story particular in mind that I told I told Cocoa one time and Cocoa remembers it brought it up to me yesterday some of the hijinks and the craziness we used to mix up and get in trouble as kids we had to buy some penny on 1776 and the place was mobbed with people from out of state plates up on the palace age which is where our town was located North

Bergen and we'll watch all of out of state plates have a no way to park and want to get a shot of the tall ships and everything in the harbor and a buddy Steve of mine whose last name you may not remember Jimmy and other buddy of mine and myself and come up with the idea that there was a baseball field with a wooden horse in front of it that said HCPD Hudson County Police Department making sure nobody parked on it and the day before we had given unfortunate crossing guard a bit of a something and took a little flashlight in his badge and we when we looked at each other and it was like a little light bulb in the

cartoon over the head and we decided to move the horse and we had stole some tickets from a carnival that had been in town about two weeks before and we gave him out and said admit one and let people in the baseball field to park their cars from out of state charging five dollars a car not about a half hour into that and Hudson County Police Department pulled up and asked what was going on and we threw the flashlight in the badge in the car and the tickets and said he'd park on the field like these people and basically the Hudson County cops said no you can't park on the field and we had it off the White Castle with

our daily revenue regenerating from it and basically sat in White Castle and watched all these poor people without a state plate being towed away so a soul fucking parking and then give up I mean that's what that was that that's fucking American ingenuity right there you see an open parking lot you're fucking using you give out some tickets who gives a fuck guy that's right that's Hudson County hoodlum that it's best right there and we mixed it up absolutely you know we go to society where we did you know and I know people out there basically have a hard time believing some of the insane and crazy stuff that

that you come up with and tell him this is tell all book you tell him which is probably gonna rock some worlds but I gotta tell you it's 99% of it if not a hundred percent and people don't believe it when I down here in wonderful Midland Texas tell some of the stories about my childhood and the insanity and the fringe felony that we operated on but I mean it's it's a lot of it's true when we and I we had breakfast that time I was out there in June when I flew the family out there that I fly for it up to the Scientology Center out there we had a we had a laugh a second at the table and it always seems like when a bunch of

us get together from Hudson County especially from North Bergen it's a laugh a minute just remember and some of the phrase theology and some of the the crazy stuff we did it's hysterical you can't even explain for years I shut my mouth Mike because I thought people would look at me with three heads even when we lived in Aspen we had we lived in basalt and where Jimmy came home with the fucking steering wheel from the car because the car went off the cliff it was my car and he came home and gave me the steering wheel he goes here's your car you know and he was hanging the logic about the logic he used on that the

the the Aspen the sheriff up there when the sheriff pulled up from picking county and everybody else and they were sitting there and and I'm listening to him explain the situation saying look it's not your mountain it's my car I don't have a problem with this I mean it was fun amazing we had such fun no matter where we went I mean remember his adventures of Rhino man when he would have four or five drinks and run through screening glass doors he's a madman no we used to call him the marquee decide he would start smoking cigarettes that's right bra would go up women would leave his bedroom with bites on their back

and I remember one night he punched his fucking chicken the head that the paragon and aspen because she wouldn't serve him he gave yeah he got us in a war he took yeah he took the bloody marry and drank it held her and then she smacked them and he punched the back and she she held on to the pole and spun you can use what I'm talking about this is what I'm fucking talking about like we just start going man you know you know it's really interesting I did a documentary Mike and I went back and I showed Carmine Balzano and I try to tell these people he shot a guy in the back nine times and he got away with it and

self-defense in the back tell them Mike these motherfuckers don't believe it I'll forget about it I mean what about the whole debris and we're handballing a whole thing I mean you know she she goes to testify and winds up dead from an overdose and then some of the things that went on in that town no no no but the debris and boiling water was that she was sucking dick on 80th Street for years she had either she would leave her light on if her light was on that means she was open for business I never went up there to get my dick suck me you were in Colorado and the Divinsons got voted in and then all of a sudden they

got this hooker the Marco administration somebody got this hooker to say that she had blown the Divinsons and sucked their dick and licked their ass when I bet that hooker fought in that fucking face lead I would say them crying and they went on eyewitness news and they believed it a year later they found the fucking dead it's set up the camera through the pizzeria into the barbershop where it was going on people this one fucking saying you know every four years in North Bergen most kid every four years we went to work Mike we went to work you had to get

signs and fucking this is old-school politics you know my friend this was this was if you had a sign on the front front porch of your house you lost your railing along with the sign because we threw but we had renter truck rental cars from McGuire and Enterprise and we would throw a grappling hook on your banister and pull a banister down with the sign I mean there were beatings going on there were there were renter trucks being turned over and and the insanity of it all is if you just look at it when you when I look at it through street common sense my father busted is behind to get an 8500 dollar a year

part-time job and they spent almost 200,000 a candidate getting it why come on wake up you know I don't even I don't even react to politics no more after what I seen growing up I can't even react to politics you know every mayor and I had such a passion about it because you know I was in the middle of it I mean I was out there I was one of the troops on the front line you know I was one of the lieutenants out there running the sign crew and and doing all the night maneuvers and and and you can't believe and you were 16 five water towers rip signs down I mean it's great you were 16 and 17 Mike you know that that's how old

you were when you were doing this shit we were young fucking kids remember something my father ran for the spirit of 71 that's how far back I'm talking oh my god he was a truck driver for war trucking and he brought the teamsters in in the 50s and 60s with Provenzano and Hoffman all the boys and Mikey Schiara Ray Carney well he's got much that's what my father was you know the amazing thing about him is that he came he grew to be such a an extreme and good politician without it without ever spending a day in college he was just a natural I walked in ran for assemblyman he lost 300 votes to assemblymen and

Chris Jackman who won was assassinated a week later in Hoboken so I mean it was it's insane it's I'm not saying there's a connection I'm just saying it's madness with what went on the politics was so extreme and so venomous and that's why people a lot of times on Facebook and they don't understand how I get so adamant about it and it's so intense and passionate about it because I see and I know the evil I was part of it you know Mike I know that we know we both grew up in North Bergen how do you feel about what's going on in Jersey right now my heart goes out to the people getting it getting the pound and in a

beating they're getting but you know that the sad thing is FEMA's dropping the ball left and right on everybody I talked to and I talked daily to a lot of people back then FEMA's dropping the ball and a lot of a lot of public officials are running around pounding their chest like they're doing something good you know during the Bush administration basically it wasn't any worse with Katrina and the mayor was the boob down there and what they do they hung George because he's a conservative and they're giving this Kenyan Indian a pass because he's a liberal and that's the bottom line they didn't

vent on the first time you're known by the company you keep Bill Ayres Marshall David I mean come on the list goes on whoever in white I mean they're now Benghazi Jesus Christ I mean Benghazi this is a this is a travesty this is a travesty when Fox News and other news corporations walk through the Embassy and this idiot back here along with the Secretary of State all the way down the line is telling you we don't have answers yet we don't have answers the press is walking through it where are your answers eight weeks later come on seven weeks later that's a travesty I mean Watergate sucked Nixon was guilty

absolutely and got what he deserved but you know what nobody died in Watergate come on this is a travesty and it's really fired up all the veterans across the country people like myself and everyone else who served it's pissing us all off because this guy is just he'll say anything and do anything we're looking at speech at the other day vote to revenge and then you got around these saying vote to country I'm sorry I don't want to vote for revenge it's you know every once in a while the lips let it flip out it flipped out oops again you know these guys were saying that he gave out a bunch of Romney hats with type

made in Taiwan on him you know that's old-school politics and he gave out a bunch of Obama hats with made in fucking New Jersey they complained about riding his dog on the roof 30 years ago on his car I mean cut is that the best you can do please and it's you and you and you and I both know it never the liberal pact is never argue the facts especially when you're losing on them let's just swing mud and cloud the water so the issues don't become serious anymore they just don't the issues don't matter right now it's an air of device of politics and this country has never been so separated this was a guy four

years ago who's going to work with both sides it was going to be changed the landscape of politics he hasn't changed anything he's the split this country it's more divisive right now that I was in a bill I was in West Texas in a in a bank yesterday a Wells Fargo not yesterday two days ago and a woman came in a black woman with an Obama by a badge on and she went to handle lollipop to a child the woman refused the lollipop to her child and said no you don't give anything to my child that guy on your you've got the button you wear on your shirt's done enough to his future why don't you give it to him he's the real

sucker I mean that's I mean I've never seen that you know around the country and I fly and landed a lot of little airports with the family I fly in but they're private plane and I hear a lot of people out there that are venomously mad about this about the usurping usurping of the Congress about taking all rights forcing things on our religion this this is a very upset country right now and I'm telling you if this Kenyon does pull it off you're going to probably see places like Texas to see they're talking about it down there in this serious matter hey Mike what was that what was the last time you

were in North Bergen was the last time you got down last time I went to North Bergen was about four years ago when I parked in front of my house and my old house that's now sold that my father left to my thank God and I don't know a lot of memories came flooding back but the strange thing is you knew my mom and my mom knew you and and basically Alex called me about I'd say about a year later and said he did the same thing and parked in the same spot and he swears he saw my mother standing on the porch that was scary to me and a little little hair raising but it's I could see that I can see her having so many

memories not half not wanting to leave hey Mike I gotta ask you one last question the town is changed but Mike didn't one of your friends try to blow up the principal yeah buddy him his name was Mr. Farley he was our eighth grade he was my high school fucking principal at douche bag no this was in grammar school no I know but then he became a high school principal years later when they went to the four principal system in North Bergen so now you know they have four principles at the high school correct yeah that's right yeah right so he became Ray Farley was his name he wanted to spend me and Dalton stuck up

for me Dalton said you can't suspend him he's an athlete he's a good man so if it wasn't for Ray Dalton that motherfucker you're the principal you guys tried to blow up with a pipe bomb fucking Farley they tried to blow up that maniac yeah yeah blow him off the bike blew everything but one one long finger with the knuckle the index finger and it's like an extended almost like a tentacle and he would get down to show I'm sure we're a glove we were down seaside one time which is now a little longer there but we were walking and a girl asked him why he was wearing a glove when it was 93 degrees out on the beach and he yanked

it out and he started like curling it around and he says because it's my sex device he chased it down the beach this guy I mean you know it's amazing that that you hear all these things about teachers teachers sucking dick and the kids go home and say none teachers sucked out dick in that high school nobody said no I'm about grabbing his brand those tits in the sixth grade when she was pregnant in the art I didn't give a fuck Mike Duffy Mike it was so crazy growing up when we grew up and I'm happy you came on and just you know teachers got smacked you know that teachers got smacked when we went to school I was

playing volleyball I watched I watched a dive up on the cell and give them a good ass with the back of the legs with the paddle and have a chino jumped in it was it was it was a mess it was back then you know teachers didn't get in your face and tell you where did you belong you know we are our year was notorious where do you belong get out my face if I punch your teeth I remember they wouldn't like to leave for lunch and we had a sneak out for lunch and they come get us at hashways and shit odd about when they chased Kevin Valentine and hit him with the softball bat with the tape on it so hey gonna put him through the window

hashways when it was the smallest door because we were out breaking the high school you know no no out lunch box and they pulled up in the driver red car four of them piled out and I hid in the bathroom and and they knocked on the bathroom door in the back and I said I'm busy and basically it was me and co-op we were in the bathroom and it didn't fool Dolmets atissimo it was basically dog come on out of there we know it's you duff we're gonna talk feet with baseball tape I'm going over we're gonna talk next week after the election and see what goes on any last words please bad

ass motherfuckers and iTunes and everywhere else in the world smart enough for your kids future vote around me please I got four kids I'm voting for on me I can't I can't afford to have them in that 216 each I can't do it before they even get to college Mike you know I love you all my heart you call me back and I'm willing to come on you show any time you're a good friend you're a good man and I got a lot of respect for what you've gotten to God bless you God bless you too Mike I love you with all my heart my duff love you don't forget stay black that's a crazy mother and he calls in the canyon he goes crazy it

was a very obscure podcast today I'm happy you guys stuck around and did it Lee Lee Lee when talking about worried about getting some shit on his face and stuff I don't need this aggravation as you know you bad motherfuckers we are in Chicago at the House of Blues I think it's close to being sold out myself and we should feed Thursday night eight o'clock show what else is going on Wednesday we got a great show for you this Wednesday I'm gonna tell you who's gonna call me a special guest for you motherfuckers next week I'm in Arizona in Scottsdale just Friday and Saturday it's a hundred tickets each thank you

for making testicle testaments number three number four on fucking Billboard I mean like I said you Twitter people and Facebook and all the internet I love you guys with all my heart MMA junkie I love you I love anybody who supports the podcast remember dog it's fucking Monday right go out there make somebody pay for you waking up go out there don't shine your shoes be fucking positive love everybody if somebody fucks you gonna get a smack in the face that's the way to work out but until that point love people go out there have a great day Lee Lee Lee then throw a kiss at these cocksuckers what are you playing on the

way how about I want to be around hit it Lee for my mother's spirit Thursday 32 years she's gone it still tastes like fucking air out there I love you guys have a great week thank you for putting up with our shit stay black somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who'll leave you to learn that misery you