Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #111 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Monday, November 1st..... This episode is called “Proving Your Point”. This episode is brought to you by Liquid I.V., DraftKings & Zip Recruiter….. Go to https://www.Liquid-IV.com Use JOEY at checkout for 25% OFF! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to bet $5 on UFC 268 to win $200 in Free Bets! Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/EASY & Try it for FREE! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

what's happening you bad motherfuckers it's monday november the first we did it the joint is brought to you by one of my all-time fucking favorites liquid iv listen it's the time of the year we're back in the motherfucking gym we're trying to get healthy we're trying to get our bodies tip top magoo flu season is here so you gotta stay dry hydrated to support your immune system adding one stick of liquid iv to 16 ounces of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone let me explain some to you when i'm in the gym i drink a pre-workout but while i'm at the gym you're fucking sweating you're running you're doing all this stuff you're lifting you're pulling i drink liquid iv my favorite flavor is guava i love it you put one package with 16 ounces of water

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to the joint it's November 1st I am fucking fired the fuck up it's official getting ready for 2022 day that's what you do man that's it if you're not getting ready for January or February and what the fuck you're gonna do you're slipping but who gives a fuck it was a great weekend I hope you had a great Halloween let me tell you something I was watching TV two nights ago just minding my business you know at the end of the day just put the fucking TV on and I'm not talking about politics here I don't want you to guys to think I'm political whatever there's an election tomorrow for some of you people living a fucking cave whatever you know Murphy in Jersey and New York's looking for a new fucking

mayor right they're dying to get this de Blasio out so they're down the two guys they're down to his brother Eric whatever next cop you could tell he's fucking a savage and he's down to Curtis Silva or Silva Curtis Silva for a lot of people you don't know is the president of the fucking guardian angels this guy has been fucking lurking in New York since I was a kid this guy tried to fuck up my parades all the time because we used to go to fucking Harlem the cop the dealers would be hold on we get the guardian angels over and I'm like who gives a fuck they're a bunch of guys with a whistle it's not like they got a rest you're fucking what who gives a fuck you know the Spanish dealers never gave a fuck but like the white dealers up in Harlem and shit

would always give you a hard time like all right nothing's going on the guardian angels are around I fucking hate the guardian angels with all my life but let me tell you something about Curtis Silva that motherfucker's been beat up Gotti shot him like one of Gotti's people I think shot him they beat him up something happened you got to check it out on Wikipedia something happened but he's running for mayor tomorrow right tomorrow's the election and he's over there campaigning on fucking Saturday this is what I saw yesterday right I was fucking dying I was watching the NFL and then the news came on whatever the you know the late game last night and the news came on and the next thing you fucking know they're like Curtis Silva didn't take the day off whatever his

name is don't quote me on the name Curtis Silva didn't take the day off he's out campaigning and you see him inside like a fire department and he's talking to the fire department he's telling them listen if I'm the mayor there'll be no mandates and they're just looking at him like Curtis come on guy there's like three firemen listening to him the rest of them are mopping they don't give a fuck like nobody's paying attention but the best shot they showed was he got hit by a car on Saturday some taxi cab hit and run Curtis Silva now listen let me explain I'm no fucking genius here but I take messages from the universe okay if I get hit by a cab on a fucking Saturday before the election on Tuesday and the guy doesn't even stop for the

next mayor in New York I'm not saying he's gonna win I'm just saying you're driving down the street right you know and all of a sudden you're like fucking I'm it's a beautiful day to be alive the sun goes in your eyes you bump you hit somebody right you look at the guardian angels together that's running for mayor and you're like you know somebody would go oh my god he's running for mayor let me pull over this whoever hit him was like fuck this dude like he ain't running this is horrible they hit him with the fucking car he went down went to the hospital but here he is campaigning now when I was growing up Curtis Silva whatever his fucking name is Sui Wa I don't know he had like you know her guardian angels they had to be 30 fucking dudes a couple white dudes

a couple black dudes they were yoked you know they were young they were walking around like they were fucking you know into it they showed him with that like like Curtis Silva's whatever fucking campaign and they actually showed this poor bastard and he's down to like three little skinny crackheads like they couldn't protect themselves three little skinny dudes like you know I'm saying and he was holding on to them he's got the fucking arm which he got hit by the cab so he got the arm it's busted and he's like I'm Curtis Siva and I'm running for you don't forget to come out and vote for me in the polls and let me tell you something I gotta be honest with you I got the felonies and shit but right when I finished this podcast I'm calling my attorney because I'm voting

for him because he needs every vote he could get if I'm gonna goof on him he earns my fucking vote I ain't voting for a governor I ain't voting for nobody but I'm voting for this guy because if he gets 13 votes that'll be a lot you know I'm saying like give me see somebody you're like goddamn that poor bastard if he gets 12 votes like his mother's gonna vote for him his grandmother you know like an uncle that's in prison shit like that that's who's gonna vote for that poor bastard he ain't got a suit on his shirt is sloppy his beret got dirt on it come on Curtis give me a fucking break man I mean I don't like to ruin piss on people's legs or fucking cancel somebody's parade but I got a better chance of running for man I guarantee I would get one more vote

than Curtis Silver I get like 15 16 votes but I'd be happy that's my expectation let me tell you a little fucking let me tell you a little guardian angel story right in 2005 you know the longest year I comes out right I don't know nothing about nothing I've never been in a big movie I'm just a I'm a cokehead I'm fucking just a dirty comic and shit and I'm in this fucking feature and everybody's talking about and there's billboards and I'm in the trailer and shit so the first weekend I picked for the longest yard was Jersey City there used to be a club in Jersey City called Bananas they're still around they're in like uh are they still out I don't even fucking know I don't even fucking know if they're still around I think oh no no no no no it was Rascals in Jersey

City Rascals used to be in West Orange and offered Rascals Shore and then this guy bought the Rascals so he added one in Jersey City and one in some part of Boston that that that shut down in a week I think they lit it on fire they don't have comedy on that side of Boston you know I'm saying so this guy opened up a club in Jersey City I figured out of respect the closest to North Bergen is fucking Jersey City so I did the the weekend I did one show Friday one show Saturday nobody came to see me you know just people that are gonna vote for me in the mayoral election I had like 30 people 15 on fucking Friday and 15 on Saturday no big deal so I wanted to promote it so my friend got me uh I was never on their radar you know at all I knew Jim Norton from

opening for Andrew so he got me a spot on opiate Anthony I was fucking thrilled like Stern wouldn't take me nobody would take me but opiate Anthony will so I go to opiate Anthony now the best thing about going to opiate Anthony is when you walk out of there there's a hot dog stand up the fucking corner I love that shit by the avenue of the Americas there's always a guy even when you go there fucking early like you go to seven in the morning there's a fucking hot dog guy up there like when you go in there they eat or something like that you'll hear people Arab people talking blah blah blah that means they're selling gyros and shit already I swear to god they're like on a fucking loudspeaker like talking about gyros or a la so I went up there I want to I went in and

two doors down from fucking opiate Anthony in that building it's not opiate Anthony it's serious two doors three doors down I saw clubs over the catty you know and uh he goes there's a great fucking ham and egg place over there so you know what I have to time it along the shot I'm 400 fucking pounds why stop at a hot dog let me get four or five hot dogs and I'll go over and get a fucking you know tail and ham and egg on the cheese you know what I mean that was my fucking breakfast at that time so I get out of opiate Anthony you know and I walk to the fucking corner and I grab my two chili dogs at fucking 830 in the morning the fat fuck that I am right and I'm eating the two chili dogs and I swear to god guys who comes up to me

but a skinny little brother that's a guardian angel right I mean you can't now I don't know if I'm on that at that time Ralphie May was doing Carolines that weekend if you look it up May of 2005 Memorial Day weekend Ralphie was doing Carolines so Ralphie offered me he got an extra hotel room he goes I got an extra hotel room so you could stay with me in the city I was like fuck it so I went into the city to stay with Ralphie and then that morning I got up and I went to do opiate Anthony no big deal I go get my fucking two hot dogs and who jumps on me but a skinny fucking uh African-American dude nice brother you know a little he wasn't all there a guardian angel he's like what's happening man he goes where you going you're in that movie and shit and I'm like

yeah thank you I saw the movie it's a fucking hit you're a killer I saw you eight years ago and I always had your back and on and I'm looking at this guy like I wasn't even around eight years ago I know what the fuck you're talking about eight years ago is 1997 I was just doing fucking you know feature sets up in Seattle or some shit and he's like telling me I saw you in Jersey you fucking hit it out of the park and then he was talking to my Rogan so I'm like oh this guy got some credibility he has probably seen me and he's talking to me he's like you you buy yourself and I'm like yeah I'm just walking over to get an egg sandwich he goes you're gonna eat two hot dogs in an egg sandwich chubby you could eat and all this shit we're just going back and forth

and he goes at the end of the thing goes man you buy yourself you need security I go why and he goes you need security man you're a movie star my god Jesus Christ I'm no fucking movie star I thought about that Kevin Hart bit where he talks about security you know like he needed security he don't need rock security he needs security for people who like fucking spit on glass and go when he's eating at a restaurant and all that shit that's me I don't need no fucking I mean nobody even fucking talks to me he goes you need security man these are my mother fucking digits I'm an expert in kung fu gung fu fucking dog this guy had a list that did not fucking stop he hit me with 20 different karate styles that he knew and shit like that and then to top it off

he fucking started doing moves on the street guys you don't know what embarrassing is when there's a skinny guy doing Bruce Lee moves on the fucking street in front of you and people are looking at you and you're like all this is not happening it's like listen I gotta go I gotta go dog things are happening but let me walk you to parlor 30 I'm like listen I'm cool I'm gonna take a cab I was flat fucking broke like I had maybe 20 bucks I was gonna take a bus over but I didn't give a fuck I had to get away from this guy because he was just embarrassed of me doing side kicks he started stretching to show me how fucking whatever he was and I said hey hey listen I gotta run I gotta go do this and this let me come with you now you listen you can't I work security for

free let me do you a day for free and if you like me you pay me if not I'm like listen it was like those disco mixtapes you know these brothers they come up to you and they give you a mixtape here you go man you're like what's this it's my mixtape you want to donate some money not really I wasn't looking to donate dick today I'm not looking for any fucking rap albums last time last rap album I bought was biggie ready to die and last time I checked you ain't fucking biggie you know I'm saying so get the fuck I mean they would do that shit to you when they come up to you and put the cd again so this guy kept fucking going kept going kept going kept going kept going I'm like you know what I gotta go guy so he gave me his number

he's like take my digits and shit you know what I'm saying I'm like oh and he saw that I had a cell phone I'm like god damn it because at that time I had a pager I was very happy with my page when I had a pager nobody would ask me for my fucking number they'd see the pager and go we don't want your number your low rent that's how I want I don't want to give up my number but he saw I had a cell phone and he goes let me let me get your number let me so I gave him my fucking number that was a mistake guy every day he called me so I flipped it on him I did a joey dears I started torturing the motherfucker hey man what are you doing do you have a bazooka and he would go no why you need one I'm doing a show up in Brooklyn and the fucking the mafia's

coming and I had I just would blow smoke up his ass and I would give him a fucking date and he'd fucking call me two days later and go what the fuck happened to you I waited I was at the Gramercy Hotel I was waiting there with three motherfucking killers to do security for you and I'm like oh I'm sorry the plane got delayed so I did that then like six times before he caught on and he disappeared from my life and life went on but that's that's my guardian angel stories this guy tortured me for at least a fucking year and I finally went you know what I gotta get rid of this guy in my life he would call me at two in the morning four in the morning six in the morning so I started just calling him going hey you know Cleveland yeah there's a club called fucking the

Matador there's no club called the Matador and he would fucking go all right I'm gonna get my partners and go down then he would call me back I looked on the yellow pages there ain't no Matador I'm like no I said metaphor you know and he would fucking call me back metaphor I can't find club metaphor this went on until he finally just I I told him to go to Pennsylvania at Wicksbury I swear to god I go meet me at Wicksbury Pennsylvania Friday night we're doing the fucking theater there's no fucking theater there I just made up a name Linda Rowe a book or a great lady used to book a room up there like a barn and I had the itinerary and when he called me I was looking to what give him I just go just fucking meet me at this barn that was where I sent him the last

time he called me I'm like I'm here I'm surrounded by white motherfuckers and shit up here in Pennsylvania there's Amish I said I don't know what the title he never called me to fuck back and that was the end of my experience with the guardian fucking angels so I don't know if you're gonna vote Monday I don't even know why I went into this fucking story it's Monday morning we gotta talk we gotta talk about what the fuck is cracking in the news the other thing I saw this weekend which was very fucking impressive this is the shit I like guys I don't know about you guys you know I really don't care about the UFOs in New Jersey I mean I gotta be honest with you guys I'm to a point in my life and it's not a point in my life it's if I say that to you I'm wrong this is the way I've always been

I've always been I've always been a fan of rocky stories in any situation in any situation at all I've always been a sucker for that shit you know when I was a kid I was watching TV when I was watching college football I didn't even know what the fuck college basketball I didn't even know what I was watching and I saw a fucking kid and he was from Jersey City he was a freshman he was starting and he inspired me you know what I'm saying when I was a freshman in high school I went to see a kid play basketball and he fucking scored 68 points and he broke you know my man's record out of Union City St. Michael's the the announcer of the Celtics and I was very inspired you know like that I get inspired from a rag to riches story you know a lot of people get inspired

by fucking you know Marvel or you know they stand online for Spider-Man you know yeah I've never really that's my main thing I like reading books that you know like Leigh Iacocca's book uh the crazy guy from Texas's book the guy that ran for president I became a fan is I like reading stories of struggle I love struggle you know I I I see a beauty in struggle I really do I rather you know I see the beauty of Miss Pat's story I see the beauty in my story you know sometimes when I feel down about myself or something's going on or I can't make a decision about something you know I'm not the number one uh I'm not the best what's that shit like I don't think the best of myself you know and a lot of people have noticed it over the years I break my

my balls I don't think the best of myself you know like and whenever I do get into those funks I think about success stories people who have applied themselves people who have said you know what this is what I'm gonna do come hella high water and guess what I don't have the winds behind me see when somebody goes for something like I like to talk to you in a comedy sense or in a sports sense but people would take this the wrong way when when I see it I appreciate Gabriel laces story more than let's say I don't know I don't know but I don't even know who to another comic I was there with Gabriel I saw Gabriel start as a 17 year old kid you know a lot of people fucking hit me up sometimes you know jerk off people and they'll go hey man you're

retweeting this guy or you're retweeting that guy you're retweeting this guy's day he's not funny this guy's not funny she's not funny people always got their own opinion of who's not funny or whatever when I retweet these people I personally think they're funny or personally I think they're amusing I don't think they're fucking the funniest person in the world I don't think they're my fucking you know but I know their story you know what I am like I know their fucking story and their story makes me want to stand behind them just because you don't know their fucking story doesn't mean you know there's no fucking I love camaraderie I love supporting people but I also love the story I fucking do my dick it's hard when I found out that you know

Doug Stanhope was living in his car when he won the San Francisco comedy competition did you know that story that the night of the final somebody broke in his car and stole all his fucking clothes and every possession that he had and he still went up there and destroyed that fucking room and won first place and beat fucking I mean look it up he beat dang cook he beat I think Rob I don't even know Vinny Favorito don't walk but I know his dang cook and somebody else that Doug Stanhope Doug Stanhope could could fucking run somebody over with a car he could hamper his career whatever he could pull an OJ and I will still respect somebody like Doug Stanhope because I know the work he put in to his career do you know I'm saying like you respect those people like I saw Doug

going a car and fucking put a pole in the back of the car and hang his clothes back there and he went on the road and he dedicated himself to this and not once did he come to me and go you know I don't have enough Instagram friends or he just put his head down and went those are the people that inspired me when I see a guy like Ralphie May who dog Ralphie was a funny comic funny as fuck great guy worked hard taught me a different level of work ethic than Joe Rogan taught me Joe Rogan's got a great work ethic but Ralphie May had a complete different work ethic and I took a little from his work but let me tell you something bro let's get an example here Tiffany Addish Ralphie May Tiffany Haddish had been busting her ass since 2003 I know for a fact that's how

long I know Tiffany Haddish when I say busting her ass I'm saying busting her ass on a Tuesday night babysitting to make money for rent and then running down and doing a spot at the comedy store on a black show and you know she wasn't well known people didn't receive her much she was a woman a female she would get on late you know when I see Tiffany Haddish I love Tiffany Haddish I communicate with Tiffany Haddish every two weeks on the text I'm watching you girl because I was there I saw Tiffany Haddish sharing an apartment I remember when Tiffany Haddish lived in fucking Ontario to save money Ontario California for you people don't know that's an hour and a half to two hours all day long from Hollywood no matter what time it's fucking is and she would

bust her fucking hump you know there's a there's a difference between making it and there's a difference between making it when you have no fucking sales behind your back when there's nobody helping you and there's nobody pushing you Ralphie May I was there with him in those meetings I was there driving him to those meetings when he would come out and with a fucking face and his cheeks were red and you could see he was deeply fucking upset and they would tell him no because he was too fat Ralphie had a battle in a fucking half everybody kept telling him you're too fat you're too fat you know didn't Mitzi sure that's who didn't tell him he's too fat you put him right up there on the stage and I gotta be honest with you jay masada gave him a ton of fucking love no matter

how big he was so when you see there's certain comics that they get to LA and they got everything pointed at them they're good looking you know a manager signed them right off the bat Ari came down last weekend me and Ari we're talking I'm like Ari you know what the best thing about us was they were all against us for years they were all against us they ate us and we fucked them up they had a sniff our dick at the end of the fucking at the end of it all they had to suck our fucking dick even though they ate us why does Rogan bring them on the road so I always love it when an underdog an underdog underdog underdog who's busted his fucking hump for years and has been told no no no no I love it when they fucking come through you have no idea and even if listen even if they

don't stay with that fucking tower that position it doesn't matter they reach the goal they were intending to reach and it's over you guys are talking to me like Joey what the fuck are you talking about what are you getting at what's this fucking ear beating you're giving us why are you putting us through this torture listen to me I was watching I want I didn't know what time the UFC game came on the fight the other day I didn't have time to bet it I wasn't gonna bet it or nothing like that I had taken my daughter to kickboxing I had to take her to this Halloween thing I had to run some errands and I come home and a friend of mine calls me and invites me some thing Saturday night and he goes I don't know I invited you because the UFC's in the daytime I

didn't think he'd do it in the nighttime I go what do you mean the UFC's in the daytime he goes yeah they're fighting in Abu Dhabi so the fucking card starts at like 10 in the morning oh what the fuck it was about lunchtime I didn't know what guys this is how out of the loop I am so I fucking run to the TV I you know I'm searching for this fucking ESPN it was a free fighter he told me it's a free fight it's a free fight it's a free fight hurry up go watch a great fucking card I wanted to watch those Khabib looking like cousins Khabib must have had three fucking cousins on there yes they shaman Kalikanov the other guy with the beard they threw beatings on fucking everybody I don't know I don't I forget the country I'm not trying to be insulting here it's like a little

part of Russia towards the but underneath Russia I've got Afghanistan wherever he's from Abdullah I don't know but I'll tell you those little fucking guys that Khabib is sending over about the unleash ass whippings on this fucking UFC that camell kid and listen I'm not good with the names the one who big jinging that was fucking tremendous so I was you know I was busy doing a couple of things I really wanted to watch the hand Dan hooker fight it was too late so I ended up watching Glover against whatever now all week long I'm not gonna lie to you I thought Glover was old you know I like Glover I met Glover years ago I didn't know he was 42 but I know Glover's been around the globe for you know he's been in the game for a long fucking time I met him years ago

you know I'm not good friends when we met like hi how are you very nice to meet you I'm a comedian you're Glover you know yeah what do I say to that guy you know and I always knew he was Chuck Liddell's training partner you know Chuck always spoke about him in interviews and stuff like that it was Chuck who blew him up and you know so getting to my point I'm not gonna lie to you guys Friday night when I got home from whatever the fuck I had to do I went on Draft Kings and I just wanted to see who was fighting what the what the card was I had my whole I had the week's confused Frankie Edgar is this motherfucking week with UFC and fucking MSG that's a great fucking card but anyway I don't want to get ahead of myself I'm watching I go let me sit down let

me look at this card and I actually went to see what Blankowitz I think that's his name who fought Toshara I wanted to see what he would pay to win and it was like 20 fucking bucks and if I bet Dan Hooker I would have won a lot of fucking like I don't know if I bet 50 bucks on Dan Hooker I would have won 125 but if you bet 50 on the kid he fought I swear to God it was like take home 63 dollars I'm like you know because with baseball and like football you could bet 25 bucks I'm like you know 60 bucks 70 bucks if you bet like a 25 dollar parlay on Draft Kings you get like 130 dollars that's a fucking great deal I don't know if you guys know a five time parlay is 35 no a five time parlay is 17 to lose 35 to win and then it's 70 to win 35 to lose or the

10 time fucking parlay guys I just know I've been on Draft King so long I forget what the fucking odds things are with the regular book but like if you bet a 25 on a parlay on Draft Kings you'll get like 93 fucking dollars that's not too fucking shabby you know what I'm saying that's not too shabby but if you bet Blankowitz whatever his name is against fucking Glover it was like 63 bucks the same with the kid who fought the money line the same with the kid who fought Dan Hooker and there was another fight I looked at it was the same thing so I go there's really no money in this fucking fight so I'm not gonna sit here and put myself through hell to to fucking bet this shit so I turned on the fucking fight and I gotta tell you man I watched Glover Toshara

and I said let me let me watch this this is an interesting fucking fight here and I felt kind of shitty for even uh you know like pushing on on Blankowitz whatever his fucking name is to win I just wanted to see what you know I don't know if he was an underdog look when you get when you bet football you're giving six and a half three and a half two and a half you know when you're betting those uh UFC's it's more money line that's not my I don't know much about money lines your Rogan knows a lot more about the money line he could break it down for I cannot understand the fucking money line so forget about the money line who gives a fuck about the money line I'm watching this fucking fight and next thing you know Glover Toshara

takes the guy's back and he wins he taps him out with a rear naked choke I gotta be honest with you my insides broke my eyes swore a little bit I was not expecting that I didn't know what to expect from Glover you know from the minute I turned it on Glover was having his fucking way with him so I didn't really fucking know what to think of the fight but when Glover tapped him out and he got up and I looked in his face I gotta be honest with you guys I felt for the fucking guy I was happy I turned the TV off and it made me want to get in the car and take a fucking ride I was thinking about it you know these are the things I like I love fucking Rocky stories you know I love Rocky man that's my fucking movie if Rocky's on I'm watching I know that right now Rocky

re-released Rocky 4 the one with Drago I think that's what he's calling it Drago or whatever and you can't even get tickets for it that was showing it in Philly the other night fucking sold out like fucking eight screenings of Drago and they want like 20 bucks I mean they're not fucking around so I was like damn people love Rocky sure they do we're fucking Americans man we love that story we love listen I'm gonna tell you something this time that feels shitty about myself like I'm not doing anything with my life you know the felonies I lost a daughter I think about a lot of crazy shit at times I gotta tell you something then I think about my life and I go you know what I did everything I wanted to fucking do I really did I had my daughter I have a wife

you know we're happy I mean I don't fucking jump up and down on top of her she doesn't have to beat me to fuck up we giggle we we laugh we go to stupid fucking things as far as kind of these concern listen guys I fucking did when I I wish they wouldn't have towed my car remember the apartment they towed on me like I had this fucking car I parked it outside my fucking girlfriend's house and they towed it I held like 800 and fucking tickets I didn't have the registration it wasn't my registration a girl had to pay for it I still feel awful about it I should look her up and try to give her a couple fucking yardsticks but they took my notebooks I would pay I don't know a thousand bucks one of those notebooks today because there was one notebook that was what I was thinking

you know my car got towed in 98 so that car had my thoughts from the very early beginning of what I was thinking in LA you know I never wanted to be a fucking star I never wanted to be like on HBO I swear to God like I didn't expect any of this shit there was no Netflix when I started none of that shit was around I just wanted to prove my point I just wanted to prove my point what was my point that I could do this and who was I proving it to let me explain some tea I was proving it to a couple fucking shitheads you know like when I first started comedy not many in Boulder I could say there was a lot there weren't many just people who made fucking little remarks but the people I really wanted to fucking prove my point to was all the scumbags not like all

the fucking know-it-alls guys if you ever get into comedy or acting or writing or anything to do in the entertainment business and you end out dealing with agents and people who have control over your decisions don't let them get you down with their little listen all those people never got to reach their fucking goals think about it they never got there they're an A&R and they're 24 show me what band they fucking created what Led Zeppelin band did they fucking put together and they're gonna come and tell you what you should do and where you should wear and then you get down on yourself from what some fucking 28 year old that never did what you're even trying to accomplish he probably had a rich mom and dad who sent them to fucking college they went up to Syracuse and got a degree

and whatever now he's walking around with this fucking attitude with his little fake fucking hairdo and the one earring and one ear to seem really cool so you're fucking impressed and he maybe gets a guns and roses tattoo which blows you to fucking way apart but that guy's got control over your life only if you let him only if you let him that's when you start proving your mother fucking point and I don't want you to go back and knock on his door and say fuck you bitch I told you I knew it no no no a wink is as good as a nod to a blind fucking horse a wink is as good as a nod you know you know the great time I had the last fucking seven years in LA because I had to go work for people who told me I sucked I had to work for people told me I was too old I had to work

for people who told me I was too dirty you're too dirty oh my god when I when I you know look at this audience look at this fucking audience are they offend offended are they really offended you know they're doing this thing on the world series I know a lot of you guys are watching it when you watch Atlanta they're like oh you know they do that and you know fucking everybody's like all the liberal sports writers every day Atlanta's gotta really get woke and all this shit fuck you let me tell you something my wife is Indian and the other night it was on and we've been talking about it I go mercy look at those people in fact me and my daughter will sit there at night and go with the Tomahawk which you're which you're for the fucking praise we do it me and her do it my

wife just looks at us like what the fuck my wife is a Cherokee Indian you know she's got friends of the fucking Indians her mother's a fucking Indian and she's got friends of the fucking Indians just for a goof last week I go honey let me ask you go you know I I told my daughter that you can't fucking do that shit it's offensive you know but we could do it in the fucking house you know what I'm saying like you know just do it in the fucking house while watching the game for some fun I asked my wife I go do you got offended by that she goes no I think it's funny I go do you like when you go home does your mother say anything to you or your aunts when you go to your fucking little Indian shingdings in Tennessee do you guys sit there and talk about the fucking

Braves and she goes no no it's the fucking what is the home of the free and the land of the brave right there the Braves all right I that has no Joey what the fuck's I got to do with the Indians but what I'm trying to say is that think about it you know they're telling you that it's offensive like every time I hurt for like a week I'm not gonna lie to you for like a week maybe I don't know a month ago whenever I saw the Braves I'm like man there's an Indian at home no they're not you think Indians at home drinking fucking gin going what are the Braves gonna stop this shit you know I'm saying I can't get my life together while the Braves fans don't stop doing this shit so anyway to get back in the on the stadium oh yeah they do it every night in Atlanta

they do it every fucking night in Atlanta they just go fucking off I mean they just and they're winning you know they won I don't fucking know it works but you know it was interesting to ask my wife like can I you know we talked like I talked to her without my daughter and then I spoke to her with my daughter in the room but we got more into it I think it was like a breakfast one day we were into it and I go did they ever like when you go to the Indian things in college now now now nobody's ever said you know what we're gonna write a letter to the Atlanta people they gotta stop that's just some fucking imaginary person who throws that out there like fucking you know it's like defund the police and it sticks somebody actually fucking the word fucking sticks

but anyway going back to what the fuck I was talking about here proving your point is huge and when I saw Glover yesterday Glover's had he's 15 and five in the fucking UFC that's 20 fights he's like 31 and 17 overall you know that's like 50 fucking fights I've never gotten into 50 fucking arguments never mind 50 fucking fights you know that's he's 42 fucking years old and he finally got the gold that is just it gives me hope in this shitty fucking world in this world right now with all the fucking mandates and you know 11 to 12 and you got to be a kid to take this and if you take six hundred dollars out of the bank they're gonna charge you with taxes and you know with all this shit going on in the world with all this bullshit because it's all bullshit

you know with fucking people shooting people on sets with fucking stortices getting fucking their faces punched in did you see that shit you know with all this stupid shit that's going on in the world right now to make to see someone being able to prove their fucking point just makes my fucking dick hard I swear to god I was so happy last night I went over to the pickled herring my favorite Jewish deli and I got a fucking sprinkled cookie I swear to god I didn't give a fuck about weight watches I didn't give a fuck about my points I didn't give a fuck about anybody I did go to the pickled herring the pickled herring is a fucking Jewish deli and fucking Marlboro New Jersey it replaced another Jewish deli that was there let me tell you something I was there

Friday night for dinner with Jimmy Florentine I'm in that fucking joint all right that's the first time I sat down for dinner my wife and my daughter went to we went to a a softball all-star fucking thing but before that I had some time and I had to do something we all we went to the kids parade that's what it was me and Jimmy went over to the fucking kids parade for Halloween tremendous we saw blind I thought there was nobody there I don't think anybody works in this fucking area or they were all there to see their fucking kids when I got there guys I thought there was gonna be like maybe 10 parents everybody fucking works no shit there was not even parking spots on me and fucking we didn't have the softball dinner till seven so me and Jimmy ran over to the pickled

herring oh my god I got myself a nice pastrami with a coleslaw he went in with a fucking turkey and roast beef with french dressing on rye it was like eight inches fucking big Jesus Christ I love that fucking place I love Jewish delis in this area there's the Jewish bagel place I don't know what they are they're the pale Jews they don't fuck around they don't even serve meat in that motherfucker you're not getting a slice of cheese in there or nothing it's either white meat or fucking tuna egg salad plain and simple they're on the fucking nine but in Marlboro if you ever in the Marlboro area stop at the pickled motherfucking herring get an egg salad I take him rich vastan his fucking yamaka was spending for an hour jack let me tell you something the eight I'm bringing

lee when it lee comes down to visit me you don't think I'm taking them to the pickled herring you're out of your fucking mind I take fucking everybody there they got a square condition they got a circle condition and they got a square condition are you fucking kidding me or what they got fucking egg salad on a kaiser roll with seeds hmm they got fucking pastrami that's second to none they got a great corn beef and let me tell you something but I love my favorite thing about that places they got every flavor wise potato chip ever fucking invented sour cream and onion onion and garlic garlic by itself I saw something that he had that never even fucking seen they got these little fucking cookies they got the chinese cookie with the black dot in the middle you know

what I'm talking about ooh with that black dot of fudge with that little fucking I don't know I want to say ginger but it's not fucking ginger I get those they have the sprinkled ones and then they have the chocolate sprinkled ones come on Jewish people rise up motherfucker I got your fucking deli you know uncle Joey's looking out for my fucking Jewish brothers and sisters the pickled herring I told when Ari came Ari comes down and they get Chinese because I got a great little chinese joint they got fucking gentle towels chicken that'll make your head fucking blow up it's fucking delicious but the next time Ari comes I'm taking them over to the fucking pickled herring he's gonna lose his fucking mind but I'm in there two three days a

fucking week there's a waitress there that confuses me she's beautiful she's a sweetheart she's blonde she's I don't know if she's Jewish she's got tattoos and every time I go on there I'm like man I don't know Jewish people must be looking at her like what the fuck you know you're not gonna be able to get buried in the Jewish fucking cemetery but every time I see her she's great she tells me her son listens to the podcast so I want to give him a fucking shout out I don't know what your name is kid but I love it you got a cool mom over at the deli but back to what I was talking about before we wrap it up in this motherfucker on a Monday morning November the first I am fired the fuck up you're asking me Joey why you fired up because dog we got a new set of goals going up

today I love all this shit I really do I love it when I love the beginning of the month and for it to fall on a fucking Monday oh my dick is really fucking hard this is when I go to fucking work guys obviously you could tell I'm doing a lot better thank you for hanging in there with me a lot of people took off regardless of the last eight years we've spent together you know I'm saying listen man this is what happened we did a podcast for fucking nine years me and Felicia did one for one me and Lee did one for eight I decided it was time for a fucking change and moved moved and after all the sweat after all the drugs I did after after all the drugs I did for you people you people what are you talking about the talent no you people now this ain't fucking this ain't

this ain't that movie whatever the fuck the Irishman you people you know what you said you people we gotta take care of you people I did all those drugs for you people I did fucking ketamine for you motherfuckers I did acid with Ariad it smells as you feed all fucking night and at least I had flies I come here I get a little down on myself I have a fucking mishap and you people say I'm not funny no more and you fly the coop and you leave me cock suckers I'm happy you fucking left go fuck yourselves you didn't give anybody a chance you got to take the lows listen bro you know the real fucking person who loves a band is you got to take the highs and the lows with that band you know it's not like I sat here and was trying to be something I couldn't be or

didn't want to be I couldn't do it I was all fucked up my head was all fucked up I had PTSD I was withdrawn I had fucking 20 things going on plus the shock of moving you know I'm saying I couldn't even fucking talk guys I couldn't even improvise it was it was horrible I lost my timing I lost it all but you know what I could have just quit and went under a fucking couch and said fuck it I said nah I'm gonna keep fucking pushing I did what I had to do and we're fucking here you know I'm saying again I had a point to fucking prove I had something to fucking prove I had to prove it to myself that I could still do this dumb shit and come on here and giggle with you motherfuckers once a week without smoking pot or eating 20 million fucking edibles can you guys believe that I'm down to

seven joints a week I used to smoke seven joints in three fucking hours I'm down to seven joints a fucking week that it just blows me my fucking it just blows me the fuck away you know and I haven't changed I'm still the greasy cocksucker that I always was you know I just tape it down a little bit I'm a little older we got a house now we got a studio but I'm gonna talk to Mike today we're gonna be uh we're gonna start expanding a little bit and doing some fucking things differently I see some changes coming maybe in January I will keep you motherfuckers posted on it uh and that's it man I was just really happy about what happened Saturday with the UFC because the one thing that we always strive for is yes success and you know security for our families and whatnot

but you also want to leave this fucking planet proving a point you know I talked to my the guy who took me in when my mother died he lost his wife three years ago Mike running I was talking to him on the phone Saturday I had to do some errands and he called to ask me a question about something and we were talking about he was told me about his kids his daughter uh Alexa and his daughter Lindsay my niece that had cancer she had went away and she's healed now and she's traveled ever since she's gotten the cancer and beat it her and her sister Lindsay and their husbands and boyfriends they set a goal every 90 days and they do something they travel they they go to a certain restaurant they they go to a beach you know and and she said that after she got cancer they had to

do that because they all had to talk you know like Mike after wife died and all this shit and they were saying that she didn't that there was things that he wanted to do that he never did like I told him I go you know Mike we chose cocaine we didn't travel we didn't do any of that shit we didn't go to Europe we didn't do anything we fucked up we chose cocaine reefer we chose you know and I feel bad about it but I don't it's the decision I made when I was a kid and I'm stuck with it you know I'm saying but if you're young pick something to do every 90 days every 90 days you want something out of this I never even got this I never did have those things taking little trips you know I travel because of comedy I didn't travel because I wanted to fucking travel over

there I'm happy I went to places like Columbus I was watching the Columbus Ohio State game the other night and I looked at that fucking stadium in Ohio State with the red and you know guys that's the shit that I love you know I didn't go to college I didn't play fucking college sports but if I regret that's a regret not going to college not being apart you know who gives a fuck you paint your face you take your shirt off you put some fucking cologne on your nipples and you go to a game and act like a fucking jerk off with a bunch of other people who gives a fuck but I always I was I always had a stick in my ass like I was always like not too good to go down to a stadium and take your shirt off and jump up and down and cheer for a team

like I always thought it was fucking stupid no I don't no I don't if I would have done that I would have never been involved in cocaine for 30 fucking years you know that's the shit I would have been doing so even at 58 now I'm starting to look at my life and going yeah I accomplished a lot of things I went to Hollywood or what they taught me in North Bergen guess what they had to suck my dick they sucked my fucking dick in Hollywood I did movies I did TV I did soap operas I did voice overs I fucking accomplished my goals I proved my fucking point and guess what I didn't have to prove it to the Joneses I don't have to prove it to all those dumb fucking bookers that would tell me no I was too fat I was too old I was too dirty guess who I proved I proved my point to me

that's the most important person you have to prove your point to so I don't care what you take out of this podcast the name of this podcast today is proving a point that's what you're gonna do with your life prove a fucking point guess who did that with their life your uncle motherfucking Joey but I didn't have to prove it to those people in North Bergen or those people in fucking Hollywood or to my ex-wife with her fucking bullshit and all these other people pointed their fucking fingers when I was fucked up and I went to prison I had a great fucking time I was thinking about Halloween in prison the other night we had a fucking good time but listen I just want to tell you something if you take anything from today's podcast it's about proving your mother fucking

point you did it who gives a fuck you're not doing it to impress nobody I'm not looking to impress nobody I don't give a fuck if I ever do fucking stand-up comedy again I don't give a fuck if I ever do another movie again I don't give a fuck if I do a TV show again I did it I toppled it off with a guy in a movie that I wanted to work for for years I hit it to 30 fucking years I did other movies that I never dream I never dreamed of doing these things you think when I started comedy I'm like one day I'm gonna be in a fucking theater I'm gonna show them no no I just kept working and I just kept fucking going you know what let's try this go let's see if we could sell out one night at a club you guys remember this all started with the brayer improv doing one night a month

one night a month for about three years I started with eight people coming to the shows then I went up to 12 then I went up to 15 then I went up to 31 then I started figuring out how to how to fucking lie to people and shit come on down Lindsay Lohan will be there they're bringing blows she's giving out blowjobs people would actually come to brayer going where's Lindsay Lohan it was fucking tremendous guys did she bring blow it was fucking crazy and then fucking he cut my deal because it was $400 guarantee then they said cut it you're gonna have to do 100% of the door you know what that means guys that you started fucking zero so when I tell Mike that I'm gonna pay him 100 when I tell Lee I'm gonna pay him 100 to come down to the show I'm not gonna know

until I get there I'm gonna have to hit the ATM and I lose money out of my own pocket that's how I learned how to fucking promote and then I hooked up with my agent he started booking me on the road and I started selling out one night one show let's sell out one show then two shows then three shows oh shit we sold out Friday late because Friday late nobody wants to see you Friday late they're dying they're drunk and they want to get their dick sucked they got to go to work Saturday morning guess what you start selling on Friday late now you move up to fucking theaters and so on and so forth I proved my fucking point yeah I went to prison yeah I did a lot of shitty things as a kid but I turned my life around I looked in the mirror one day and I go you know what I don't care about

this I don't care about that I don't care about status I don't care about a Porsche I just want to prove my motherfucking point I drive a Subaru by the way anyway I love you motherfuckers at all my heart thank you very much for watching the joint we did it all the way to fucking November first and just remember this month when you start journaling and stuff it's a whole new set of goals and remember start that page when you're gonna fucking prove your fucking point whether you have a band whether you're an artist whether you're a roller skater whether you're a comedian or just want to suck coxie you want to break the record in the fucking whatever I love you motherfuckers have a great week stay black and I'll be when I'll be back Wednesday morning tip top

magoo with another episode of the joint I love you motherfucking now there's here for a word my motherfucking sponsor Jack all right you bad motherfuckers thank you very much for supporting the joint today listen the joint is brought to you by zip recruiter you can do almost anything with just a click of the button listen to me it all starts with ziprecruiter.com slash easy whether you're looking to hire or you're looking for a job zip recruiters got you covered when you create a free profile with zip recruiter they send you jobs that match your skills and experience when you're looking for help with zip recruiter just go out they send you all the applicants you need the great applicants after they scan everything you can apply to most jobs that zip

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go to liquid IV dot com use code joey at checkout again 25% off when you go to liquid IV dot com use code joey at checkout that's 25 percent off anything you order when you promo code joey at liquid IV dot com try the mango I'm the mango try the guava you're gonna love it the tangerine is tremendous the joint is also brought to you by draft kings this is the weak cock suckers this saturday live from new york you got usman versus covington round two it's gonna be fucking the nightmare against KR squaring off in the octagon I got something for you motherfuckers during UFC 268 five dollars kit net you two hundred dollars with draft king sportsbook again bet five dollars you win you get two hundred and three picks with draft king sportsbook new

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