Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 11/19/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #30

Episode Date: November 20, 2012

Joey is back from a weekend in Arizona. Joey talks about his feelings on immigrants speaking English, the situation in Israel, and weight loss. Speaking of weight loss Mike Dolce of the Dolce Diet calls in. Check out his holiday recipe book and his website the dolediet.com. Also check out our sponsor Onnit.com, maker of Alpha Brain, new Mood and much much more. Use the code "Church" for a special discount.11/19/2012

Oh shit, it's that motherfucking day. It's Monday, it's a beautiful day to be alive, but it's only been a droplet. He's dropletting, we kick that motherfucking way. Here you go. Some somebody Oh shit, the church of what's happening now Joey Coco Diaz my main man Lisa at aka the flying Jew soon to be the Jew with a fucking eyepatch after that black chick gets a hold of you with that fucking super turbo muffler she's got. That's gonna be an eyepatch? We're gonna put an eyepatch on you after the situation. You might lose like a fucking couple eyebrows or something like that. Hope everybody had a great weekend. I hope everybody's getting ready for Thanksgiving. It's fucking Monday. Here's your chance to shine motherfuckers. Another chance to quit smoking. Another chance to fucking

lose weight. Another chance to stop fucking smacking your wife. Today's the day if you're fucking you know what I'm saying if you want to change your life run you got a second chance later church of what's happening now what's going on Lee finally I know Lee came in with a big fucking smile and the wringling covered. Oh, let me just forward them. Let me tell you something I was talking to was it you I was talking to last night about quarterbacks. No. How bad is this fucking guy from Dallas or is it me? Is it fucking me Lee? I mean I'm sick and tired of trying to be positive you know so I gotta say something negative about somebody here. He's good enough at some point at some point but whenever the game's on the line oh my god a couple years

ago there's a playoff game where he fumbled and then he was also doing the field goal he's holding the ball and he's like fumbled that too so yeah they're gonna have to at the end of this year that coach is going to be gone and they're gonna have to get to the quarterback. And what's going on in Philly they're just they're giving up on everybody with or without Michael Vic they better bring dogs in whatever you're fucking something I mean they're fucking I mean you look at these teams I'm not was growing up these teams were something they were traditions you know Minnesota fucking Dallas the guy Landry with the hat on that was tradition these teams just fucking suck when I talked to I put them on against Cleveland yes I couldn't even watch them I couldn't even believe that was

Dallas beside that fucking running back 45 that's I think it's Felix Jones maybe Felix Jones what they have a running back that is just on another level he does not belong on that fucking team he's so fucking good he's tall I'm not good with names people I'm sorry it's fucking Monday plus I've been hit this bit depends it's 531 you know I'm saying not 532 531 uh you know I tried to watch Philly the other day they fucking horrible yesterday you know the only team I could watch and I see the whole Baltimore is not bad to watch I was gonna say that it's that game yeah fucking amazing amazing you know I like well I don't bro listen people gonna win and lose that's just but when you just look constantly fucking bad like every time I see what's Momo hobo mo robo

every time I see Roma it's so close to mama this guy is supposed to be listen bro uh Dallas Cowboys you know I grew up on uh well they had three fucking Rogers thought back and Danny White and every quarterback they had was great when I was fucking growing up hooker boom he's putting a boom on hooker boom you know I'm saying I mean these are all quarterbacks that you know this is the Dallas organization can I see this kid he's like this fucking half a pansy it's it's the owner because the owner came out and Jerry Jones right yeah people were saying that because he's the owner and uh general manager and people are saying that's too much power and they haven't won anything it's like uh Al Davis of the Raiders who passed away a couple years ago they're saying he should give

up he's like he won on the radio like that's never gonna fucking happen I'm never giving it up so until he and he likes Romo so it's fucking terrible and then as everybody knows I went 0 and 2 I'm not I won 1 and 1 I split because everybody knows you watch the UFC I didn't watch it live I was down in Arizona I didn't get a chance to watch it live I watched it yesterday and I tell you what Carlos Condon has nothing to be ashamed about today I mean he fucking must feel fucked up his head must hurt like a motherfucker but so does GSP and so does GSP's eye he had that ice pack on his fucking head yeah looking like fucking rich Franklin at the cungley but you know I mean it was a great fight I love GSP and I love but Carlos Condon I've been following

him I've been following him since the WEC and like I tell people all the time you know uh chocolate that was a great champion if I was in Denny's and three Puerto Ricans attacked me I wish Carlos Condon was with me because if I throw my hands up and I go for broke I know Carlos is going for fucking broke you know I'm not saying I'm a tough guy but I know I have somebody behind me fucking Carlos Condon do it you know I applaud him I applaud John Winkle John I mean I applaud all those guys in Albuquerque in fact I'm gonna take we might go down to Albuquerque and fucking do a church what's happening now right there because that's my favorite camp of all time I love Greg Jackson you know it's funny every time I see Greg Jackson I always ask him about Carlos

for years I was Carlos doing bro and he always he knows he knows if you ask Greg Jackson who's Carlos his biggest fan they'll tell you fucking Joey motherfucking karate and it's just because you think he's scrappy and you respect him or why why did you always uh just he has the heart of a bro I got nothing listen man one thing about me is I got nothing but heart I don't give a fuck you gotta shoot me with a fucking bazooka if I got my side on something you know when I got locked up I remember that the guy said to me you know if my psychological exam and I kept bugging him one day he said to me if I had something you want I know you get it you know I'm fucking focused on something we go for you know but what were you talking about Carlos Condon Carlos Condon

I'm sorry but anyway uh you know you just know so you know I'm fan to listen I I seen Johnny Hendrix early on I mean I didn't see like the guys when they were in pride I really really wasn't into MMA then but now I'm watching these guys come in and I'm watching develop and I see what they're doing and it's like anything else when you see an open mic and next thing you know you know when I see fucking Nick Garrow or Jerry Rocha now there be young guys when I met them 10 years ago now they're full fucking Fledge comics you know but Carlos Condon I just love something about Carlos I love Anderson Silver there's so many fighters I love but Carlos has something man he just got something he's a skinny fuck you don't give a fuck you know you gotta get down with that

motherfucker and he reminds you your kids I grew up with they were kids I grew up with they gotta shoot him you're gonna shoot him if you get into a beef with this guy so don't get into a beef with him because he's not gonna stop if you beat him up he's not gonna stop yeah I didn't I I really honestly didn't like him after the Diaz fight I thought he ran around and I'm new to the sport so I know that's I know you're trying to win but as a fan and what you want to see something exciting that was boring to me but seeing they call him the natural born killer right and that those eyes he gave him after like he was down and his like entire side of the face was like a horror movie like after seeing him with those like the look he was giving gsp he's a natural born

killer no that was he's a natural and when he gets into the ring you see him with that fucking beard he looks like taxi driver so he gets in there with that fucking Fidel Castro beard and stuff but uh I just respect people I have a lot of heart I always have I don't give a fuck about your money and you got a heart with down because I know if you're with me it ain't gonna stop and then I'm not talking about fighting I'm talking about anything else in the world I'm talking about a business like you got a lot of fucking heart for a little fucking jew you got a lot of heart they can send you over there right now I'm gonna send you over there I'm gonna call the israel and say look I got fucking oh Jesus the funniest thing today the funniest thing for the guys me

and Leah talking about languages listen I'm a firm believer in the more languages you know the smarter you are I don't know why I'm always impressed with that uh you know when you learn math you don't learn math because you're gonna do math but you're gonna be a mathematician or you learn math because you learn to be analytical teaches you how to analyze numbers and put shit together when you learn a language early on like at certain age developments like me I learned English as a kid so fucking anything you said went into the computer and and I just stuck it out you're like a sponge when you're three four and five you know it's a difference of learning a language when you're three four and five and when you're 14 or when you're eight it comes into you a lot

different you absorb it a lot different but I was 14 one day I had the smart idea my eighth grade year after I got left back in the sixth grade like a momo I actually thought I was gonna go to high school and learn latin like I actually was like man I'm telling you I could be ahead of these motherfuckers I could catch up I'll never get left back again if I learn latin dog I went in there for about four days you understand me it's terrible it is a nightmare and then at the end of the day you're like who am I trying to be Moses I mean why the fuck do I want to learn latin for what so you know I went I took latin and then I knew spanish and I knew that italian was close to spanish so I just took italian one and two mr palmezano this guy had one eye and shit I had dominic

speciano why didn't you just take spanish do they not let you go it just seems too easy I spoke at the house it's my natural fucking language why would I take one of my fucking retarded I'm gonna learn oh I thought you want to learn in life a little bit I would have thought you would have taken and be like I'm just gonna get aids and then I'm gonna go no because I know that listen I was never gonna go to France so why learn french you fuck I'm not going to Canada I knew I was gonna be a felon so I'm not gonna go to Canada uh you know what am I gonna learn in portugese I didn't know italian I was surrounded by fucking guineas so what the fuck at least if I needed help with homework their parents would help me till today if I have no addition I need italian words I know a lot of it

but I'll call my friend Vita I grew up with her brother dominic speciano who's dead I got this picture there and I'll call her and she'll tell me how to say that in Sicilian I'll say an italian dialect like northern italian dialect a southern dialect so oh shit and I passed I got good grades I did get good grades taking that italian but anyway no I asked Lee Lee what language did you take and he says I took a lot know whatever he goes but I wasn't good in languages because you know that was good at sign language so we're gonna get a deaf chick to fart in your face you know what I'm saying it's your good sign language should be like the fucking mayor's assistant should do a bunch of shit and then the mayor from New York Bloomberg I'm sorry what were you gonna say Tarzan oh no

because you said your mom didn't let you speak Spanish right at the house out in the street okay which is very fucking rude now I seen it on a plane yesterday where these people got on a fucking plane now again I'm very sorry I'm not racist I'm racially insensitive as we say and somebody I don't know whether Arabians I don't know whether they're fucking Palestinians I don't know if they're Hebrews they're on Southwest and they're very nice people but for part of the conversation we're talking in this in this other language that's fucking rude outside the house I'm not saying you have to speak your stop speaking your native language around people American people if you're in a fucking America the least you could do if you're in a fucking American is when

you're on the street is to speak their fucking language because when you speak your fucking language around this it's fucking rude I wouldn't speak fucking Spanish around two white guys ten white guys I never did that grown up ask my fucking friends I would never do something like that unless the guy couldn't speak Spanish and somebody's chasing him or something like that but I always speak English I don't like speaking Spanish outside the house if it's me and him alone I'll speak Spanish tomorrow day long but if it's 20 fucking white people you know they feel alienated people feel it's like when you go to a stand-up show and you're a white guy and a black guy starts saying white people you just alienated the fucking audience why do you do that in a room

I never want to speak Spanish to be cute in front of Americans or black people I never wanted to do that that's just plain fucking rude so if you're in this fucking country and you weren't born here and you're learning the fucking language the least you could do when you're around the street is learn the fucking American speak fucking English speak the native fucking language here once you're in your house I don't give a fuck what you do but when you're circled around a bunch of white people you think you're fucking cute speaking your Arabian language or your Portuguese whatever the fuck it is that you're fucking talking your palate I don't know what the fuck they are anymore Spanish if I see Spanish people talking Spanish I want to say something to them and say

hey speak fucking English this is American motherfucker you're in America huh I'm shocked no it's true when you go get your unemployment check when you go get your fucking well checked fail check I know you speak in English I know you fucking speak English so the least you could do out of respect for yourself and for the fucking people around you other speak the fucking language and I'm Spanish I'm talking to even my mother this is how she felt when I was a kid in North Bergen I'll get somebody from North Bergen to call it was a teacher called Mr. Fontana and we were on a bus on the way back like in the sixth or fifth grade and a lot of people gonna get mad at me but it's the truth you're in fucking America they think that's weakening

this fucking country is that people aren't acting like fucking Americans no more that's how you have to if you want to bring the country back act like a fucking American it's not hey I wouldn't vote it that don't mean you're a fucking American you fucking momos it means that you went and did your civic duty I'm talking about being American what's being fucking American is being helpful being polite being very even though the Midwest those are fucking Americans they treat you you get a flat they help you all I asked from people just to treat other people with respect there's a thousand a couple weeks ago I told you I was at the fucking coffee shop and there was a circle of fucking whatever they are talking blah blah blah blah I don't give a fuck it has nothing to do with

me I don't care I'm not prejudice but and I looked at them kind of way and I go you know what I shouldn't be mad because 30 years ago those are Cuban people and white people sit them to go and look at those fucking spicks so I understand the situation I'm from another country myself my mother didn't let me speak Spanish and I'll tell you one of the things that happened this fontana guy was a little league coach and on the way back from a baseball game two people were speaking Spanish on the bus and he turned around he said hey this is America cocksucker speak English and the two kids said fuck you and kept talking Spanish he pulled the bus over and he made a walk home 40 fucking miles that's something my teacher would get fired for today yeah and a lot

of people backed that teacher I went home and immediately told my mother that I wanted her to make a letter to take to school I want to be part of the fucking regime the anthocastral regime and my mother goes I'll smack you in the fucking face this is America the least you could do is an American to speak the mother fucking language that's the least you could fucking do they open the gates to you they processed you to let you in the least you could do I don't want you to vote I don't want you to go to the park and work with blind kids I don't want none of that shit the least you could do is learn the language and have respect for other Americans when you're in your house and your kitchen and you want to oblo whatever the fuck you want to oblo you know my daughter's

going to be born I don't know what's going to happen whatever but I've already spoken to my wife that when we're in the house I'm going to speak to the kid in Spanish even from day one because it's easier for her to learn it do I want her to go on and be fucking Ricky Ricardo and yell at people in Spanish and all that shit like the my asshole self know but I know that knowledge is power and I know that every fucking language that you know just makes you stronger you know I'm saying I mean I'm thinking of learning Arabic right now because they're going to take over you got to learn all this shit you know I'm thinking of learning Israeli I'm thinking of going back and taking classes at college that's what I'm thinking of doing for the new year couple classes

you know how am I going to be a good parent I gotta show that I do homework you know I'm saying I read I do a bunch of shit but take it from me people if you're from another country more power to you you got the opportunity of your life to come to this great fucking country I don't give a fuck what these people say about Obama and Ron is a great fucking country you can wake up and do whatever the fuck it is you want to do you know I'm saying I do whatever 25 years ago I kidnapped Ken Vella I paid my dues to fucking society now I'm on a I'm a comedian I'm not successful I'm not a fucking I'm no cat Williams but I got the chance to get a second chance how many countries can you do that how many lifetimes can you do that and you know people always ask me you hate Michael

Vic this and I love animals I don't like what Michael Vic did I'm the type of guy that I could pull a gun and shoot Michael Vic for what he did to dogs but let me explain my other hand you guys gave me a second chance so how the fuck isn't a guy like me gonna give Michael Vic a second chance I don't have to deal with him I don't have to hang out with him I have to fucking feed dogs I don't have to do nothing with him but you always have to how can I give somebody a second chance you guys gave me a fucking second chance a little music this morning to get this my cousin who's driving from fucking Miami right now he did a fucking concert in Miami he's driving up this is ex Alfonso Vale I love this guy uh to be honest I don't I never really fucking met him before I

spoke to him on the phone I met his sister hit it Lee oh shit oh shit Lee oh shit Lee welcome to the revolution bitches watch this video oh I'm getting fucked up on this vape on a Monday morning get up cocksuckers wash that monkey get out there and get what's coming to you motherfuckers like Tony Monta who said to lower hit that fucking thing oh shit what's up Lee Lee Lee how you doing buddy all right I'm doing great you posted something the other day that I felt really bad I woke up and you posted this thing about

Israel I didn't want to ball you know I know you're the flying Jew you know I know you're dedicated to your country and that's why I like about you got the heart and balls what was going on with you that you were mad I've never seen you angry and I wasn't mad the so what's going on over there is Israel is on either side there's Gaza and the West Bank and Palestinians live there and there and well the West Bank doesn't really create that many problems but Gaza has been sending rockets over for 12 years just constantly and I was there for six months and I was in the place close to where they send it over and normally normally they send one or two over but they've been sending like hundreds over now and Israel is doing airstrikes and everyone's all upset the

thing I said on Facebook was I just said I hope everyone in Israel is safe that I know but whenever I post something like that and it's like you say some people try to go on like and they would they just take the the Palestinian side or whoever's side you're against just to be cute or whatever so I said don't say anything for Palestine like if you disagree with me about Israel that's fine but I just I don't I don't want to hear it and it's just my feeling on it is if if like in San Diego Mexico was sending rockets over and hitting San Diego or if Canada was hitting uh main or or or Oregon or whatever's on the border there like America would take care of it but when Israel tries to protect itself when people are sending rockets over at them people get upset so I just

I was there for six months so I have a bunch of people who are in the army there and I was worried about but yeah that's I just didn't want people to be like oh well Palestine Palestinians are are brutalized and people always try to take that they're sending rockets over they they and the thing is they can leave there they can go into Egypt and other countries but they want to send rockets over and do bullshit like that so that's either because they leave again is Yarmulke all caught up in a fucking tangle oh I fucking it's time to get the bulletproof Yarmulke's that's what we're fucking I thought you just talked to the Russians oh it's gonna be it's gonna be because there's Lebanon right there who hates Israel there's Lebanon there's a Syria and and all

that and then Turkey and then Egypt and it's they're surrounded but they're they're fucking scrappy they're like the Carlos Condit of countries man and it's gonna be interesting now didn't Israel is Israel somebody fought the Romans it was a war that lasted like it was like 800 fucking Israelis or something against oh um yeah 2000 Russians and they're fucking lasting for eight months or so no it was the Romans it was a turn that oh wait what do you mean oh I just was hot from the air for a second to there no yeah put it on for a minute there sorry guys for the audio but it's all right um it's a massage it's a mountain massage and it's in the desert and it's this big fortress and the Romans were taking the the head they were they were ruling Israel and they weren't

letting Jews worship so they were taking they were killing everybody and the only Jews left in the country were on top of this huge mountain and they they had a big fortress up there and they were they were living and the Romans were coming up and trying to get them but they had barricaded it and so the Romans were building a ramp up to the top of that mountain and they were just fighting them off it was like the last Jews and then the all of them committed suicide at the end rather than be captured you fucking believe that shit these are fucking Jews that's a great that's a great story who the fuck you think you're dealing with here you don't think I know my just you know I'm a little fucked up right now I've been smoking vapors I've been fucked up I got hit in the head a couple

times like Carlos Condu but I knew something had happened that it's a great fucking story you know it's funny because when me and Ari went to Chicago we land and we're having a good time we're smoking the vapor pen we're getting a cab and next thing you know we're driving and I start talking to the driver he's got an accent and Ari was in a good mood until the guy said he was Palestinian oh then the fucking mood changed in the car and I didn't say nothing to him but I could feel it like I wouldn't I know Ari a long time he's the sweetest guy in the world but it wasn't even him it was his genes like the whole demeanor the cab changed when the guy said he was Palestinian it ended oh yeah and Ari's it's like me Ari's he's not religious at all he spent time there so he

loves it there but he's not religious the thing is when you're there you hear stories about them throwing rocks and throwing bombs and it's just I came back and I and you say you're not racist or racially insensitive when I came back from spending six months that I was racist and it's gone it's gone down a little bit at least you're honest it's gone down a little bit since I've been home but fucking Palestinians who I can't imagine Ari Ari probably didn't tip him he probably Ari just froze Ari just I just heard I could just feel the demeanor and it was like somebody an elephant came in the fucking cab it just changed and I mentioned it to him days later he was like you know Ari I don't know you were feeling something wrong fuck you Ari hate Palestinians

just fucking saying I mean I I just uh hey I want to give some shout outs to that man for some fucking cool motherfuckers out there my man Monty Hawkins my man John Bowen god that I love you Johnny mink cocksucker the average male Marvin revelation 6x my man Ben Benson is off the fucking pills give him some love and my man Kevin Honeycutt for you motherfuckers that don't know we're expecting a call from my man Mike Dolce the other day I'm sitting there minding my own business all right and I'm shining by myself I'm thinking about uh the shining was on last night the movie with Jack Nicholson and there's a part now I'm gonna cover that movie because that's a very good movie to cover for these people but not just today and I was thinking to myself fuck Mike Dolce

should put out like a holiday book about holiday things to eat you know and the next thing you know I go on Twitter and there he is a holiday book or some shit like that so I called him up and he was on his way to Montreal with Johnny Hendricks and I asked him if he could call in on Monday and talk about it you know treats just hey listen I know one thing I know that uh like the last two years that I was a fucking fat fuck to the gills because now I'm just a fat fuck then then I was a fat fuck to the gills that I would gain 30 pounds over the holiday really 30 pounds dog you could fucking listen if you let yourself go over the holiday starting this week you pack them on it's a nightmare it's a nightmare guys and you know you guys are 24 22 21 it don't matter but when you

get a little older guys that are over 40 you'll gain 20 pounds over holidays just fucking around it starts this week turkey mashed potatoes pumpkin pie you know so that's why and I'm I'm the most scared I get fucking petrified because hey man it's the holidays you know that's what the holidays are about to see your family sit around that's it we start the next six weeks we're on board here brother we got to move offices pretty soon we're either gonna move to the back or we're gonna move down the corner oh shit uh you know but while we're at it I'll buy a shout out to my people here since Mike Dolce is calling every week we're gonna do like a health fucking podcast I just decidedly we're gonna cover this for 15 minutes you need it I needed some of the people need help

whatever uh I've gained a couple pounds lately but that doesn't mean I mean I got up yesterday at three I only slept four hours the night before and I went to the gym by the way I'm sorry to get off the track here how about a I had a great time in Arizona at the comedy spot oh really this is my third time there this year I went there twice last year uh on the way there I went together there's a steak sandwich place down the corner and I went over there tremendous Philly cheesesteak I always go get one at least with some fucking sweet peppers the guys are from Philly oh I was delicious my asshole was on fire for three days but the first night I went then took one to go I was starving because the hotel is in Scottsdale and there's really nothing around there that's open

at night like CVS so I went to bed fucking starving so I said fuck that I'm getting a cheesesteak for the middle of the night you start walking around fuck Mike Dolce he ain't there I got a cheesesteak and I went over there there's these three guys there the Arizona crew I want to give them a shout out and I went inside did the show and then after what we hung out a couple people brought weed Arizona is a great place and I'm gonna tell you something that's listening people who are listening that all over the country if you're looking for a top-notch piece of ass and you got this one Uncle Joey I'm not even on the hunt I've never been on the hunt like that but I know if I was a young man that was on the hunt I'd be in Arizona you got some hot fucking women down there and there's the

older ones are hot the 30 year olds are just about the sun and how they look in their skin I mean I bet that little monkey must smell fucking tremendous now is that near the colleges because I know the two colleges are really party schools down there right Tempe is ASU okay and then the University of Arizona I don't know where the fuck is Tucson okay Tucson and they're both great I've been to both fucking towns and lost my fucking mind it's just a great place I like that club so anybody who came out to the Scottsdale club this weekend thank you very much a bunch of hot chicks came out thank you very much it was what if I wish I could tape a special down there I really really wish you like it that much yeah that little room 100 people I fucking love it I love that atmosphere

you know I'm thinking of shooting a special but there's I'm not having more than 100 people in that fucking room I don't want to do a theater and lie to people make people come to a theater I don't want to do nothing I like my standard to be very small and intimate you know I don't like those big fucking rooms no more I'd rather not make that much money and do a smaller room and be intimate with the people at a hundred fucking you know I could do 10 of those fucking shows you know so I would just want to give a shout out to my people in Scottsdale Tempe Phoenix for coming out bringing reefer bringing love taking pictures I always have a great time I'm really having a good time going on the road really Emily well yeah and especially with the small rooms I mean

I haven't dealt with it because I'm on comic but for you if there's only a hundred people there it's probably not going to be someone who's going to get mad at you right no no but it's just a smaller room so it's easier to maneuver it's easier to you know you see everybody it's like you're doing comedy your uncle's house at Thanksgiving table that's what it kind of feels like so that's why I really uh I like that place down there and it wouldn't seem to me it would make me nervous like in a smaller room if someone wasn't laughing it'd be more obvious they're not gonna not everybody's gonna laugh oh that's good to you but six hundred people come in the room five hundred people four two hundred people gonna go what the fuck is this guy talking about especially two hundred people

don't listen to the podcast or somebody's trying to bring them to turn them on to me you know something like that I mean that uh hey by the way before Mike Dolce calls one of our main fucking sponsors this is our sponsor oh we're on for the next couple fucking months is my man on it.com you know what I've been doing their products for like three weeks now one product that I fucking dig is strong bone especially for being a fat fuck because you try to run and walk and your joints hurt and you can let Fidel and bring Fidel over here he hasn't been Fidel come here papa come say hello come here papa come here papa what's going on Fidel lets on it Fidelito my bombito come here papa come here baby you know I love my cats a lot of my cats don't come in here when I do the podcast

that's my baby Fidelito for you people watching at home this is Fidelito this is one of the best cats you ever have in your life guys he's a good man he's a fucking linebacker he's a soldier he's the king of the house he's the first one I see when I come in he's a fucking bear but he likes a lot of love and I give him a lot of love what's up Fidelito a lot of people get mad at me when I kiss my cats let me tell you some people the only fucking knock I got about these animals is that cat with a box it smells like fucking worst in my asshole could ever smell if you clean a cat with a box it's amazing

but everything else about him I mean when I wake up in the morning these guys are awake and they give me love there he is there he's starting to chitter chatter Fidel will fucking torment you to death if you let him but you know what these animals listen guys if you're at the house you know whatever just get a dog get a cat get a dog go out to a shelter and get an animal for the holidays uh it'll change your whole life if you're fucking depressed these people that suffer from depression and banging their heads and they want to jump off a bridge go get an animal go get an animal man they calm you the fuck down people always want to know why I'm so happy in the morning and jumping up and down it's these fucking animals guys these animals as soon as I

get up even if I don't want to do something with them I have to you know my day is but my animals a third of my fucking day is coming home it's funny how sometimes I know exactly what they want I know exactly what they're thinking you know I worry about them when I'm on the road I actually miss my fucking animals I think about the dog down the block you know there's two ladies that walk the dog in the morning like I walk the one dog for her Nelly you like Nelly yeah start to you know these are my fucking animals guys you want to bring some joy in your fucking life adopt an animal man go to a shelter a kitten a cat I don't give a fuck what bird an alligator I mean you know I'm thinking of getting a leopard myself after that leopard fucking kill 15 people

in the park I'm thinking like fucking getting a leopard myself because at this point why not we were talking about omnit do me a favor guys the strong bone is fucking tremendous okay it's glutamine and lipdipine and all these fucking chemical elements that I don't know but it's the stuff that you take to like whenever my knee was hurting years ago I was taking it just to see if it was just joint pain and I started walking that circle again I've been running on the treadmill doing the doce thing because doce's got a great workout for running the two minute walk in the 32nd run two minutes on two minutes on fucking four or something like that and then 30 seconds on six and you go back and you do it for 20 25 minutes but it's a great workout but my joints

were hurting I'm 300 fucking pounds go get that strong bone from Onyx on it.com the other thing I like is this hemp protein this hemp protein is tremendous the flavor on it 16 grams of protein you got a high fiber in it so you can replace a meal with this they tell you not to replace a meal with this I've been doing it lately have I lost some weight men's immense and I'll tell you what other product product I like I mean the alpha brain is great but this fucking new mood I like that I want to try yeah and I think I'll help you sleep at night it's got the the shit triptop tryptophan it's got the valerian root in it it's got so many fucking things but the thing I like you know tryptophan is what you eat on Thursday you eat a piece of turkey next thing you know

you can't watch the cowboys no more who the fuck is playing on Thursday you never even know England and the Jets that's going to be a fucking great game what the fuck are the Jets going to do oh there uh we we have trouble with them like we have trouble with buffalo but like you were saying about on it is um like you you always leave stuff to the professionals the people who know what they're doing you might not know what the chemicals are in there are for but you know when you take it you feel better well I'll tell you what I've been taking a strong bone for like three weeks now and I knew it would take a little while to get into my system and stuff my joints don't hurt my joints haven't been hurt and I'm 300 pounds guys I could bullshit and tell

you 296 I'm walking on North Hollywood Park I could feel it the next day I could feel it in my college and when I was reading up on the products I read a chick that said she didn't have that much knee pain that's why I really wanted to try I think we're gonna have to finish this later because we have Mike Dolce all right what's up baby hey hey what's up brother Mikey D in the fucking house first off congratulations on Johnny Hendricks you must have given him some spinach and a kale shake for him when when he threw that fucking punch it was like Popeye in 52 brother I love it there was a Nate here right that kid is a stunt what a beast oh my god I never thought I'd see Martin I was talking to Rogan last night I go never in my life would I ever think I'd see Martin

camp and go backwards like that I never never thought I thought it would be a a three round those guys are gonna beat each other up and and maybe in the second round or something he would get him like that I didn't know he was gonna get him in the first round like that congratulations to you and your work brother hey Joey I really do appreciate that yeah Johnny he's a undiscovered talent in the division for some reason you know a lot of us didn't really have Johnny on the radar even after he knocked out uh John Fitch same exact combination same exact punch beautiful then he went out there beat cost check then he goes out there beats campman who you know has wins over albeds wins over ellenberger very recently so you know and the ellenberger or

not ellenberger uh Hendricks I think he's the number one guy you know hopefully he gets that part you get the shot in GSP I think he's the guy to take on GSP you know it's so funny because I don't know if anybody noticed uh I was on stage Saturday night so I I got the results afterward and I watched the fight yesterday Mike but I got home and I went to thank people from Scottsdale for coming to the show so I went to Facebook and Twitter and when I went to Twitter there was a fucking war going on Twitter I don't know if you guys know Nick Diaz one of the Diaz brothers uh Diego Sanchez ellenberger was calling out Hendricks he was begging Dana to give him a shot at Hendricks that if he lost he would cut himself from the UFC there was a fucking war going

on GSP replied through Ariela Wani I mean I don't know what the fuck happened I know Nick Diaz uh rep at press conference and somebody whispers in GSP there and then GSP you know has a microphone Nick Diaz just tweeted he's not impressed with my performance you know kind of making fun of himself and that little quote he added about Matt Hughes that years ago and I did see some of the the heat on Twitter which is great the athletes can get out there and they can interact and call each other out I know so I saw Diego calling out Nick Nick's calling out GSP Jake is calling out Johnny Johnny's you know begging for the title shot it's nice you do they want to fight right no no that's what it's all about that's I mean hey man

the next couple cards are fantastic so I know that everybody's waiting for these but this card was great the GSP fight like I said my heart goes out the college conduit you know we're both from Jersey we know what some dirty scrappy motherfuckers are when you fight in Tom's River with one of those Frankie Edgar types you know you're fighting to the fucking end and that GSP fight was just fucking amazing I mean my hack my heart goes out the Carlos it was a great fight man both both guys are winners in my book you know absolutely well a great main event and it was nice for us to see GSP have to dig down deep and show that he does have heart a lot of us know it you know we know GSP has heart but the the criticism was he really hadn't had a chance to show it

because he's so damn athletic his athleticism was always on display but you know we didn't get a really a chance to see that heart he showed them he's got the heart of a champion he went out there and like you just said I mean he beat a scrappy tough under alerting Carlos Condon that was trying to put him away the entire time that fucking kicked to the head yeah no no it was and Carlos bleeding I mean it was just great it's like when we were kids and we watched the Chicago Bears and people be fucking they'd be in the snow sweating fucking bleeding hands and that's that's that's why you watch the sport so hands off to the UFC I was telling these guys that last week I'm sitting here and I'm going man you know the holiday season is when people put the fucking pounds on you know

that right Mike I mean obviously and I'm like I wonder if we should have Mike Dolce call up and talk about uh you know Christmas recipes or shit we could do to not put on 20 pounds when I go on Twitter and I say you're promoting the book so I said my ESP is on my GSP is on let me get Mike Dolce on the line what's this book about Mike we call holiday dishes and what it is it's really simple all the major holidays we basically eat the same menu over here at you know the Dolce household and you know East Coast Italians man we love to fucking eat and but you know it has to be nutritious it has to be healthy that I'm the Dolce diet guy right that's what I do and I basically I made these recipes that taste absolutely delicious but they're healthy you can see them to your entire

family you don't gotta worry that you're you're poisoning your family with all these bullshit chemicals you don't gotta worry you're gonna give your kids fucking diabetes or you're getting heart disease because all the fat is that's you know I'm gonna clog up their arteries and kill them so we got 11 recipes and it's just a quick little download we got turkey we got gravy we got stuffing we got you know broccoli we got mashed potatoes you know two different types of desserts and it's it's one of those things that you know if you eat like shit on the holidays well then you're gonna feel like shit your body's gonna perform like shit it's gonna take you weeks just to get back up and run and again now I try and tell people all the time summer's coming right

summer it's on the way you you know it's on the way so what are you gonna do you're gonna just put on your 10 15 20 pounds over the fucking holidays and then you're gonna have to try and you know pull it off all spring by the time summer hits I mean come on last summer how many people we don't really we're really wanting to take the shirt off to go to the pool to go to the beach not meant not nearly as many as could and should right you know some summer's coming it's on the way you know you can fuck it eat your ass off you know eat nutritious meals you can still exercise a little bit take care of yourself you know and enjoy the process or you know you can go out there you can fucking be a be a fat fuck again you know I don't want to be mean but this is what people do

you know this is what I used to do god you just eat until you gorge yourself yeah you're gonna beat yourself on the couch you didn't do it again and you're gonna you're gonna feel like shit for days afterwards it's it's not worth why do you feel so shitty after thanksgiving brother like that a lot of people feel shitty after thanksgiving this is the overload of the trip to fan mix with the mashed potatoes and the pumpkin and all this shit why do you feel so bad after you eat so much like that well you put in thousands of thousands and thousands of calories and a lot of times you poison yourself because a lot of the food that people eat it's not real food you know it's just there's a lot of processing there's a lot of chemicals there's just a lot of

you know contaminants in the food supply that people are dumping into their own bodies and their body just can't handle it it can't digest it it can't break it down it can't absorb it so the body just shuts you off so it can focus on dealing with what you just you know put inside of it and try to you know get everything to process it and push through you know the trip to the fan from the turkey that stuff does that have something to do with it it's just you're on calorie nutrient you know overload and the body's got to shut things down so it can get to work you know you said something that brought me into a fucking haze Mike Dolce you said something that took me back to Jersey for a minute you talked about an Italian Thanksgiving breakdown

an Italian Thanksgiving how many fucking calories I mean I went to my first Italian Thanksgiving when I was like 12 and I hadn't I thought the Cubans were fucking savages I'd never seen anything like that between the pasta the brazile the fucking lasagna you know the spaghetti and then they bust out a fucking turkey then after it's all over then they buy in the copper cool and the and the cold cuts and the fucking you know I mean it never ends and then they whip out the Italian coffee with the fucking cannolis and I remember eating like four cannolis and like putting one in my pocket the first time I had one a spic eating a fucking cannoli in Jersey are you kidding me one of those chocolate chip ones are you fucking kidding me or what I remember

taking two of them home and eating them they were melting in my fucking pocket that's how good they were a lot of people don't know the Italian Thanksgiving god bless you motherfuckers I much appreciate thank you guys I mean we are an eating people right that's what we do Italian family is defined in the kitchen that's where everything great you know all the good all the bad happens in the kitchen in the Italian household right you sit around the table you talk about it you get yelled at you get slapped in the back of the head you can't leave until you fucking finish three plates of food and you know all that great shit so it's using that that experience you know I've grown up in the Italian household Italian kitchen eating our asses up

it was I remember you know all holidays I'd wake up to the smell of bacon my mother would be cooking our ass she cooked bacon she'd keep all the fucking bacon fat and then she dump all the eggs and cheese and god knows what else into the mix so the bacon fat that's the oil that she cooked out usually she did like the scrambled eggs you know she called them cheesy eggs so it's eggs and cheese and bacon fat just a little more bacon on the side um she'd make biscuits and you know bread just you know right out of the oven you know a little bit butter that would be breakfast first thing on a holiday every morning which was just insane see you're starting your day I'd start my day off right there you know two four thousand calories deep you know before I even gonna take

off my pajamas and then the day would just start rolling from there to be cookies all over the house you know we're talking holidays right now then the potters would start rolling out there would be just show I mean chalk was every everywhere you know uh the meats you know the meats go in the oven and they're cooking and you know oh man it's something I'm going I'm away from that because I should I just put 10 pounds on talking about it you know uh my mother died right November of 1979 then I moved them an Italian family right before Thanksgiving I had grown up with I knew them I was always over there eating that's the first place I ever had braggio with the egg in it my head almost fucking blew up when I had that the first time and I've told you this story Mike the kid used to try

to deter me from eating his mother's spaghetti by telling me that she would roll the meatballs with her feet and I would say I would think about it for like three minutes I go that's nasty but I don't give a fuck I won't even think about it I'll eat them I don't even think about it and I remember I moved in with them like a week before Thanksgiving I'm Mike I I played football my sophomore year I was working out lifting you know old school five sets of six behind the next all that shit I went from 160 to 194 in fucking six weeks living with these people like after the holidays I was 194 solid solid from living with these people because their whole day was revolving the father his whole day was I remember as a kid I would knock on their door

just to ask him is John here and I knew John wasn't there but I also knew he would invite me into eat something you hungry no I'm all right mr. bender come on come on come on get in the house Anna make up give him a nice tea give him a sandwich so uh no the Italian way so I know when when I read your stuff I'm like Mike Dolce is a genius because this isn't like some waspy guy that came up with this idea this motherfucker grew up down to Jersey Shore surrounded with good food so your control is is amazing it's amazing I appreciate that and that's that's the whole motivation behind my menus you know that's why all these athletes hire me and bring me in you know because they gotta get the best shape of their life but they're fucking they're sick of 20 years of suffering and

just dieting and just hating themselves so here I come with these recipes that taste absolutely fucking delicious and get you in the best shape of your life so it it doesn't make sense to not do it it doesn't make sense to not eat this way I you know we have pasta's I have lasagna I have pizza I have french toast I have all these these recipes with a few little changes that it keeps them healthy and it keeps you in shape and you know it gets you in amazing shape you know it's I'm just trying to do my part you know this this is what I do this is how I eat this is how I feed my family it's all very honest it's all very real this is exactly how I feed my athletes and like boom here and now it's it's available for you you can do it and fucking feel great and look

great or you can do the old way and if that's working for you awesome but I don't think it is you know and it's not working for most people because most people are you know they're in a bad way and I think they just don't understand they don't know how to do it or they're not motivated they haven't found that reason yet they haven't had that emotional anchor that hook to really you know get up and start going and start doing it so hopefully and that's why you know like the holiday dishes are our little uh e-book kimble book no book you know maybe that's just a little spark and you can make these recipes and not tell anybody they're healthy don't say anything about you know mike belcher they'll take that just here you know we were going to make these you know mashed

potatoes and you know they're a sweet potato mashed potatoes they're so fucking good sweet potatoes a little pinch of cinnamon some honey in there it's amazing they're absolutely amazing it doesn't sound like much but just make them you know don't don't do the old-school white potato with the butter and the fucking whole milk dumped in there like my mom used to do awesome but that's going to jack you up for days so I got I could go on and on I want to you know I want to push too hard no no what about the turkey do you have turkey in the book yeah of course it you know for say Thanksgiving big ass fucking it's like a you know we recommend a 14 pound turkey in there it's a good turkey for decent you know four six person family that eats like

monsters eats like gangsters and it's just super simple you know do I have the you can actually read out the recipe itself but it's super you know so what we do we go down the street to the butcher we order a free-range turkey which doesn't cost that much more than you're going to get the frozen turkey that's sitting in the uh you know the frozen section of the supermarket for who knows couple weeks couple months that things been dead for who knows how many months so we will get a free-range turkey from the butcher um makes it really simple and it comes ready to go uh yeah we'll bring it home I think we pick it up today Monday we pick it up on Wednesday and here we go so her herb roasted turkey it's gluten-free so we got one free-range

vegetarian fat whole turkey bulbs on the way three chopped carrots two stalks of celery two onions cut wedges three quarters a cup of grape seed oil six garlic cloves six teaspoon of uh chopped basil three teaspoons of sage chopped sage a teaspoon of sea salt teaspoon of black pepper two cups of water that's it super freaking healthy all the way through and then you just give it a turn your oven on the 525 you chop up all the veggies you put them in the bottom of the pan you put the turkey on top you cook it for a little while the juice has kind of come down they drip all together it's awesome it's amazing but we have gravy on there also in there also we have stuffing so you can fucking stuff the turkey cook it inside and you can make more

stuffing on the side like that you know it's awesome it's delicious and it's not going to freak kill you you know i just i don't know what to say man i just i want to see people eating clean i want to see them living a long freaking time i want to see them feeling good i want to see everybody at the pool in the summer you know i was the guy with 280 pounds i was the guy that you know summertime come around i'd be like yeah you know i wouldn't want to kick sure i wouldn't want to go to the beach i wouldn't want to go and do some of the fun things everybody else was doing i had a body image you know now's the time you start working now it's only november let's let's start focusing on that summer for summer now still have fun still enjoy your holidays

but you know let's get people in shape one big question i have for you that i know a lot of people actually i see a lot of people tweeting is how do you lose weight and work out and maintain or try to build muscle because the the more muscle you have the more calories you burn correct exactly so like a guy like me that you have your you're at 290 you want to go down to 260 but you want to build muscle at the same time like i enjoy lifting weights i enjoy doing a lot of stuff that you have in the book the other day i was doing bent over rows and i know that that's like a you know like a monster of a thing but i enjoy doing it and i know that if i yeah regularly i'm gonna build some type of mass but how do you do it to lose is it the protein shakes is

it uh eat more tuna i love your tuna with the avocado in it by the way that's that's one of my all-time fucking favorite tunas with a little wasabi in that motherfucker stop it dog your little ass hose on yeah you put a little wasabi in that avocado with the uh with the tuna i had some here from sushi one day and i did it tremendous so you could add that to the fucking people who are spanish but back to the question don't you what's the biggest recommendation you could do to these people today like for the next six weeks people gain fucking 80 pounds what do you think they do and it's got it it's so scary because you gain it and then your body you know hovers out and it doesn't typically lose it it'll just a month or two later it'll gain a couple more gain a couple

more gain a couple more you know that's it's fucking mind blowing so some people will gain five pounds a year they won't think it's a big deal and you know they won't even know i'm about the same weight i always am you know in a year if they only gain five pounds in a year that doesn't sound like a lot ten years is a short period of time ten years later you're 50 pounds heavier right so between 30 years old and 40 years old you put on 50 pounds you go from looking pretty damn sexy to looking not so sexy pretty quick so five pounds a year is not a lot of weight but it ends up really quick so what i try and get to people get people to do is you want to stoke their metabolism so however that is i i like to lift i like to strengthen i'm just like you joey i i recommend

everybody you you gotta you gotta bend over you gotta pick up heavy shit that's that's the big part of my philosophy that's that's what will get you the strongest that's what will have the biggest impact on your central nervous system which governs everything that your body does the central nervous system is full control so yeah you have to get active also so you know exercises like bent over rows like like pulls like pull ups or you know cable rows or deadlifts squats things like that there are people like ah that that stuff sounds too hard and the people that don't do that look like they don't do that the people that that that that that you know bent over rows they do deadlifts they do those exercises you can fucking see that dude walking down the street

you can see him from a block away you can know damn that's a fucking big dude right there you don't have to be standing in your face showing his his pecs or the abs are in any of the little muscles so you want to stop the metabolism by building muscle that's the way you gotta exercise you gotta exercise often you gotta be consistent i think the biggest thing is consistency people they're not consistent enough with their exercise program and they're definitely not consistent with their diet a lot of times people stop it hey they want to lose weight they want to gain weight first question i asked is well how do you eat i eat i eat great you know the kid that wants to gain weight he says man i i guess i eat all the time and i can't eat enough food to gain

weight and i say well that's bullshit because there's a point you will come to a point just like you when you you live in your buddy's house you put on 20 pounds over the holidays there's a point that you actually cross over it's like you go over the falls you hit that point all of a sudden your body starts gaining but the kid he'll eat one big meal today and then he'll eat like a high school cheerleader for the next two or three days and i'll eat a big meal you know he'll be the big dog at the burger shop he'll eat more food than all his buddies do that one meal and then he won't eat again for you know six eight twelve hours so you gotta be consistent you gotta eat every two to four hours no matter what you're doing two or four hours based on what you just did or what

you're about to do my recovery from a workout i'm gonna have a certain i'm gonna get some sugar in my body right away 45 minutes later i'm gonna have a well balanced meal an hour and a half after that i'm gonna have another meal and then boom it's time for me to do something again all the way through if you're just sitting on the couch watching tv well you don't want to eat those big meals you just want to keep your blood sugar nice and stable so your body's not storing body fat but again the metabolism is still cracking with your blood sugar stable your metabolism is going to keep on moving and that's very important a lot of times people don't eat thinking that they're doing a good thing trying to lose weight but when you don't eat your blood sugar tanks your metabolism stops

and your body goes in a fat storage mode so you constantly got to keep stoking down metabolism and it's a consistency so resistance training three times a week you know every five days you can get away we're doing a really hard strength workout you know one day you should just walk simple basic active rest active recovery one of those days you should do some sort of body weight exercises to stay functional so that's three days of exercise right there you take a day or two off and then boomie at a crazy strength workout that's literally all you have to do to start making progress now you can start putting in more things every day you know a couple more walks and runs or you can get sports specific that that's great also bad work I know you like to do joey

shit like that is awesome too but it's it's it's the consistency and keeping the habit you know I'm I always talk about earth-grown nutrients all your food comes from the planet you're doing great eat as much as you can if it's processed and all that shit you're poisoning yourself you're overloaded your body and who knows what the results are going to be I'm a big believer in your uh I love the book I mean I I go back to it like a little but the thing I've gotten the most from your book is that running program because I was always I knew that I was if you run you get strong I know this because I was a runner for years but with my weight my age I was a little scared and with the knee surgery and I'll tell you man Mike I do 20 minutes on the treadmill like

nothing now with the two-minute walk on the 32nd run like nothing it took me three months to get to 20 minutes and after that I just blew I could probably do 45 minutes on the treadmill now with your workout I can't do the the fighters one yet the one minute one minute that's a little fucking hard I almost puked the one day trying it but I'm pretty good and I'm up to like 6.6 now for the high speed so you know I started at two guys I started down there fucking huffing and puffing blowing up that reefer and those old cigarettes out of my lung and God knows what else so I can't talk about your runner's work I don't know I feel great my knees don't hurt no more I mean you know I get a little stiff in the mornings I'm 50 but I can't talk enough about it I love

your book Mike yeah you're a fucking genius and I see the jersey in it that's what I really like about it I see your blue collar jersey how's the family doing back there anybody left back there yeah yeah my mama you know she's out there my mama sister you know we're fucking cousins aunts and uncles we're typical east coasted you know Italian family they're everywhere you know we're like fucking cockroaches you know we're all over the Jersey shore but everyone's good everyone's healthy you know with storm that came through property damage nobody got hurt which is most important but man it's uh the town's got wrecked you know we're from Belmar BLMAR right on the uh right on the shore and the town was crushed so uh you know I saw Frankie at your

tweeted today that nobody's talking about the people in New Jersey they're still recovering you know I mean this is on scale with Katrina everybody remembers what happened with Katrina down in New Orleans which was just a terrible incident it's very much the same what's going on in New Jersey but it's not getting they're not getting the assistance they're not getting the publicity to get the assistance they're not getting the help you know power my cousin's power just came back on last Tuesday all right how many weeks is that after this could you imagine living in your home for three weeks with no electricity they're running off a generator you know I mean and you think about that this is this is 2012 this is modern America and you got families you know on the east

coast 40 my 45 minutes from New York City living off generators living like a fucking candlestick water what's that job no living like Abe Lincoln with candles and shit Staten Island still fucked up but uh I mean it's uh I see the pictures I have a couple soldiers on Twitter and they sent me pictures they went to do like National Guard and recover I mean Hoboken still fucked up up Hoboken still fucked up down there you know the shore like uh who was telling me at Thomas River there's a part of Thomas River he he sent me pictures that were just it looks amazing I can't believe that they're still no electricity in some parts and you see what's going on now they all got bill for power did you see that Mike Dolce I did not see that that's starting to come out

now on Facebook it started like two days ago the bills are starting to come in for the power so a lot of jersey people are getting billed like six thousand dollars six hundred dollars for all this power that was shut off so that's going to start a whole new fucking ride in New Jersey I mean it's going to take months for them to recover from this so my heart goes after them I'm thinking of going back there in January after the baby's born and seeing what's going on and uh that's it Mikey Dolce I'm so fucking happy you called man I'm happy for you with the Johnny Hendrix thing who's up next for you uh who's up next we got a lot of assistant coaches for Chail Sonnen on uh this season of The Ultimate Fighter so I got you know the the kids on our

team and also working with Chail which is exciting I mean we started our training camp already for the John Jones fight we are Chail man he's such a intelligent guy right everybody knows that you the Chail Sonnen persona but he says camps are for kids you send your kids away to camp I'm a professional athlete I train year-round so this motherfucker he doesn't give a shit about you know doing an eight-week training camp or you know doing anything specific for this guy that guy Chail's already he's got an opponent he's got a fight coming up he's training so he can fight five rounds right now and every every day every week every month it goes by it just gets better better and Joey you want to talk about big Chail's about 240 pounds right now looking like a fucking

monster looking like Brock Leibner of the light heavyweight division it's gonna be it's gonna be sick when he steps in there with the John Jones so Chail I mean he's certainly on deck uh you know I'm helping Mike Pylem fight December 15th down here in Vegas um you know I got V toward Belfort Nick once that are on the Brazil card and uh you know I don't even I'm I'm just just shaking off the the leg getting back from from Montreal I landed late last night so hey when are you uh when are you shooting the ultimate fighter till we uh what are we doing it till the the first or second week in December we started the last week in October and it's the first or second in December so we got some time it's going to be an amazing show well what I'm doing is I'm gonna say that

every year but these kids are freaking good man oh no no and I know that he I can't wait to see both those guys coach but I want to see Chail coach I had a conversation with Mike Pierce once and he's also from Oregon he goes he remembers Chail they know each other since they were kids Chail's a little older than him but he was saying how his parents would bring him down and say if you fuck up we're gonna take it he goes see Chail Chail was coaching him so Chail's not one of these guys that just crawled out of a rock this kid's been doing it for 20 30 years like a savage you know so uh it's amazing but I want to ask you I might be there next week uh the week after Thanksgiving uh Jamie invited me over to come eat with you guys Jamie Huey is that his name

that Jamie Huey yeah the assistant assistant boxing coach so he is a great guy uh great guy amazing coach amazing coach so yeah it'll be nice to for the country to get to see Jamie and what he does he's one of the one of Chail's uh coaches on the on the inside circle okay I'd be awesome to have you come out Joey no I'm coming out I'm gonna come out and go eat dinner with you guys and see you so I'll give you a call that morning the night before and I'll fly out because I gotta go there for two days I just don't know when they're gonna put this together I was going for December first and then I got this deal with Rogan and now the people could do it so I'll keep you posted but I want to come by and see what you do and uh you know I love you Mike Dolce and I appreciate

you calling Joey I love you great fucking guy absolutely brother I'm gonna make you proud of me me and Lili Lili I'm gonna surprise you cocksucker dude I am I'm proud of you every day every day you push that 1% forward been that that makes me proud so we're we're in this together for the journey all right journey to the end my man journey I love you Mike Dolce have a happy Thanksgiving we'll talk during the week buddy stay black always and beautiful your wife and kiss everybody thanks brother likewise I appreciate everything power to the fucking Italians this country has forgotten about who fucking laid the bricks in this motherfucker what's up there Lili Lili you're learning shit oh yeah it's uh it's great it's uh

I've recently I mean I gave you the book oh yeah I'm reading the book on the weekends I I mean I've been I've been I've cut out soda which is pretty good I had a little bit on the weekend which is gonna happen diet or diet I don't drink regular sort of ever but um my my work gives it to me so I would drink like six Diet Coke tonight since I'm there at night yeah and I cut that out and I feel great so you look better you're looking good you got the beard I'm trying forget about it I look like I'm four years old without a beard so I'm trying it four years old oh yeah I'm a baby face all right went to see farts in your face it won't be that much of a baby no more that baby's gonna have a couple brown spots oh no it's Monday bitches get out there write your

goals down do what you need to do it's a beautiful day to be alive we're giving you a second chance I try to give you something every Monday I try to give you a movie or an album and people complain I give you the Beatles I gave you a braxis I'm gonna give you one of my personal favorites one that impacted me a band that I play a lot a lot of people follow me on here is Black Sabbath I've always loved Black Sabbath when you think of Black Sabbath you think of Paranoid you fucking get Paranoid that's the first down we all got if you go to somebody's house and they don't have Paranoid it's like not having fucking buchis I don't want business with you you know but you gotta have Paranoid you gotta have who's next you gotta have Led Zeppelin too these are fucking albums

that you know they just you gotta have dirt you gotta have that one by Nirvana it's just albums that you have to fucking have in your life they're 890 fucking nine I don't not you not have them and every time a conflict comes up you smoke a fucking number and you put the album on my first Black Sabbath album was Paranoid I fucking loved it great album a little spooky you know I'm 1314 second album I got I got an uh 79 I bought an album called Sabotage which is fucking tremendous drill of it all holding the sky megalomania it wasn't me at the time it came back into my life years later when I started doing the heavy acid I would put megalomania on and all that I find myself inside the shadows all that shit all right then one day I bought this fucking I don't even know

why I bought it I bought it because at the cover or whatever I bought master reality I brought master reality home and I put it on and I love sweetleaf we all love sweetleaf I played it this morning first met you it's reefer yeah what whatever you pound your chest but the songs after that were just fucking dark dark to the point where I was like I'm not ready for this shit yeah so I never put it on again and then one one birthday of mine my 16th birthday uh I fucking did THC crystal and I took a hit of acid I smoked a bunch of reefer and I went home and the exorcist was on pay tv or something and I put the exorcist on and for some reason I put master reality on earphones and I put the earphone only the mind that Joey Diaz is when I wanted to die this after

my mother died I just had nothing and I thought that I took this acid I went into this deep fucking thing on this acid THC combination listening to now this album was the last this album came out in 71 so it was uh the first album black Sabbath black Sabbath paranoid and then master reality when they interviewed this they did uh I think uh what's the guy Barrett from Rolling Stones said this is the album you would play on the day that Armageddon hit that's how real this you know and I don't consider myself one thing I always liked about black Sabbath is they they would sing a song for you they if you listen to their lyrics or whatever the fuck it is they they play the song Snow Blind then they do a solo and then the end the last verse they'd be

adjusting what they did it's like listen to Saturday uh it's like listen to Saturday night special by Leonard Skinner they talk about all this shit about guns and at the end after the guitar solo he straightens out uh what's that thing uh guns but I don't know what the last verse says whatever the fuck the last verse is I'm fucking up here this is where Lee's editing comes in uh they ain't good for nothing else anyway uh so let's say black Sabbath always straighten you to fuck out now this is the last album Roger Bain produced with them Roger Bain did the first the second the third album he was a legendary producer this album has a great fucking lineup of songs you got sweetleaf you got children of the grave you got after forever

you got fucking a lord of this world you got but the killer on this song is into the motherfucking boy the first one we're gonna play is Children of the Grave hit it oh I've I've been to the wood ready there's what I'm talking about Lee you see that's what you told me to play you're slipping cocksucker here we go this is Children of the Grave you're slipping Lee this is what the YouTube guy said it started at it does no that's where it ends at I think it ends at Children of the Grave there that's the ending of it this is the ending of it yeah all right let's try this one this is the beginning of this shit listen to this shit violence here I'm there I'm 13 16 I got the earphones on and I'm on the acid or the thg chris and I hear these fucking violins I think Irish

men are coming but listen to this shit oh yeah oh yeah here we go motherfuckers and at the end we're all Children of the fucking grave listen to this bass line that's Giza Butler for you motherfuckers what oh yeah oh yeah Lee it's time to break out the fucking reef it feels like the apocalypse is coming are you kidding me kick it Lee hit it oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah here we go little children in their mind what are you fucking kidding me Lee and now he's doing videos of Justin Bieber I want to stab myself in the fucking eye hit it Lee

the title being pushed around and told just what to do are you kidding me are you fucking kidding me come on guys I give you nothing but fucking hit yeah now play a little into the void into the void was written by Giza Butler all right tell me if this is right because the youtube guy might have messed up let's see if this works youtube guy this is into the void all right are you kidding me in a couple bands of covers I don't know exactly I know that you guys know this is a bad motherfucker right here I'll speed this up a little a minute a minute just a minute see we'll go forever speed it up again another minute oh here we go

are you fucking kidding me anonymous I love you too motherfucker you bad motherfucker anonymous send us a love at me yeah hit it oh shit oh shit rock is going to the glowing sun through the epilogue of eternal void leader from the final suing there you go people give me a little bit of lore to this world for these motherfuckers this album don't stop brother it's two songs before into the void

you don't have to start it from the beginning just somewhere in there it doesn't matter this motherfucker is a monster listen to this shit oh fuck oh fuck i'm gonna have to go do some heroin this is what i'm talking about this is how many albums do you get that got two good fucking songs are you fucking kidding me or what a little after forever now for these motherfuckers this one's been covered for like i'm telling you this album is fucking on fire i think the third song on the first side is after forever it's the second one you're slipping what the fuck do you think you're dealing with some novice here i'm across the street

we are not the new dj you're fucking up cocksucker yell youtube don't yell at youtube don't be bugging on youtube kick it we oh shit oh shit oh shit i'm telling you guys i'm dropping a fucking album i should charge you motherfucker for dropping this science idea this morning listen to this shit here we go kick it leak just the first line i'll fucking kill you here we go what what what what have you ever thought about your soul can it be saved are you fucking kidding me or what this is fucking heat coming after this morning mother fuckers nobody please shoot themselves

this morning that's not nobody please if you're gonna kill yourself tweet me i'll walk you off the fucking ledge you know i'm saying this is how insane it is this morning i love you motherfuckers for listening to the church of what's happening now bitches this is how we're doing it what do you got for these people what are you gonna tell any stories nothing this weekend nothing but i wanted to see don't we have a don't they can't can they get a deal from on it if they type church in listen you go to omni let's get off let's get in shape together leasing let's start drinking this protein uh the hemp force which fucking let me tell you someone joe rogan was telling me it tastes great i'm like yeah yeah yeah whatever you know it's a chocolate

fucking protein shake over another fucking protein shake this shake is so fucking good it tastes better than an out burger don't forget the new mood is fucking tremendous it's got the tryptophan the valerian root you're gonna fucking love it it relaxes you at night you smoke a half a number bang and then you got the strong bone joint this shit i'll tell you what if you're fat fucked listen it all starts with a walk a walk to the mailbox or walk to the store or walk to yum yum donuts or walk here or walk there next thing you know you're walking fucking everywhere my uncle is 76 years old and that motherfucker walks five miles a day holy every morning he don't miss it for nobody i could call him and offer him steak and eggs at me means he's like fuck you cocksucker

i'm gonna walk my five miles so if he has the balls and the strength to do it we should be doing it also lea that's it it's time and that's it what we covered today lea we covered my doce we covered gsp i gave some people some shout outs we have a show wednesday that we always fucking do but we also have a special show thursday at nine a.m a family base show i'm gonna have my man jimmy berkelkoff from color who i moved to colorado with i'm gonna have dominic speciale sister called her brother's been dead for 30 years and we still talk that's how i fucking roll wednesday i don't know who we're gonna have on and then no sunday special because people are gonna be traveling or whatever so we're gonna do monday wednesday and thursday do not forget december 13th i am at

the madhouse fucking comedy club rocking those tickets are gonna go fast it's a thursday night get them it's uh we're gonna be rocking down there and that's it lea what else you got for me nothing and that's a cool club i went there once and for all the people all the jews out there they don't have a two drinks but a two drink minimum so that's a fun show to go to hey have you ever thought about your song can it be saved or perhaps you think that when you were dead you stay in the fucking grave are you kidding me are you fucking kidding me so go out there get master reality i'm going to give you a great movie on wednesday i don't know which one yet you know me dawg i i only give you a shit that's pushed me or inspired me i'm not just going to give you a movie so you

waste your fucking time you might look and go joey this is a slow ass movie then the ending might come you go joey i get the fucking pay off now so beside that i fucking love you motherfuckers have a great week have a great monday go out there and start your fucking whatever the fuck you want to do till they quit smoking you want to sling dick write your goals do whatever it is that you do and i love you guys all right lee throw in my kiss what do you got to lead out with lee uh saturday night special there you go two one oh shit a little skinny to you motherfucker remember if you're gonna kill yourself hit tweet me i'll walk you off the ledge

oh yeah here we go motherfucker hit it lee yeah